100 posts tagged with ldr.
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Dating Filter: Something feels off

I've been dating someone long distance for a few months and have noticed a sudden shift in our conversations the last two weeks. He is still in contact daily but has subtly become less affectionate. I feel like he is no longer emotionally invested and I don't want to continue. How do I extricate myself gracefully from an undefined relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 30, 2016 - 10 answers

Worried over a disparity of feelings or worried over nothing?

Last week I decided to enter a Long Distance Relationship with a person I’ve never met in person. I like him and he likes me… but I also feel he may like me too much for a person he’s never met? Or perhaps I’m misreading him or overthinking, which I am prone to do. How do I handle this? Details within. [more inside]
posted by AdriftInSpace on Aug 20, 2016 - 32 answers

A rock, a hard place, and OKCupid.

We've been together for a long time and long distance might open us up. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2016 - 75 answers

Valentines Day gift ideas for new LDR?

I'm in a new and wonderfully exciting long distance relationship. I think I want to send (her) a Valentine's day gift. What should I send? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2016 - 7 answers

Keeping an LDR moving forward

I've been dating someone long-distance for about five months. We met in Hometown 7 years ago. We now live on separate coasts. Our travel and work schedules forced 2.5 months to elapse between our first date and our second. Since then we've managed to see one another every 4-6 weeks or so. We've had five dates so far and another planned for a few weeks from now. Last time we were together we had a bit of a "where are we" chat and Date said that they were having a great time, happy with how things were going, enjoying our visits, the sex is great, etc. however Date is concerned that it's hard to see an end game where we end up in the same city and that puts Date, to quote verbatim, "half in and half out of the relationship." I'm absolutely not ready to discuss any sort of moving plan, but I do want to find ways to keep things moving forward. What are things you've done in LDRs to increase the level of commitment short of solving the Big Problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2016 - 12 answers

Should we get married anyway and figure it out later?

My partner leaves home from May-October every year for work. I can't join him due to the nature of my own work. This might change in the future, but we want to get married and I'm increasingly unsure I (or our marriage) can cope with this kind of situation long-term. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2015 - 30 answers

Gifts for partner recovering from pregnancy termination

My partner is recovering from a pregnancy termination. What can I get for her that will help her through the extended cramps and bleeding that may last up to a month? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 13, 2015 - 9 answers

When should you compromise on compromising?

An old flame who has since moved away has recently reached out to me asking if we can give things another go. I'm amenable to the idea, but I feel rather strongly that we should spend a weekend together in a neutral location before deciding anything further. Planning for this has stalled. My gut is giving me mixed signals, has this reached an end or do I need to be more flexible? [more inside]
posted by bernie60676 on Aug 11, 2015 - 31 answers

Tips for keeping a relationship healthy for a year of LDR

My girlfriend of 1.5 years will be leaving for Japan for a full year for grad school stuff very soon. I'm looking for tips for keeping things healthy while we're long distance. As always, snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by Hactar on May 27, 2015 - 12 answers

Helping Boyfriend Help Depressed Me.

Need advice and/or perspective on my relationship problems. DISCLAIMER: Please don't tell me to DTMFA. I am not interested in ending my relationship with him right now. I want to attempt to improve it before I end it. [more inside]
posted by royalsong on May 6, 2015 - 36 answers

Divorce across state lines

We lived in California. I moved to North Carolina. He stayed. I want to file for divorce in California. I'd like a little internet not-legal advice before I make my first move. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2015 - 4 answers

How do i bring this up again without annoying him?

I posted a question prior to this a few weeks ago, and i need some more advice. [more inside]
posted by earthquakeglue on Apr 25, 2015 - 28 answers

How to navigate small social groups that include exes?

My long-distance boyfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago, and now that I am "over" the intial sadness I am worrying about next semester and re-integrating into our social group. [more inside]
posted by clarinet on Mar 25, 2015 - 11 answers

Long distance or bust!

I'm want to (eventually) move to be with a boyfriend 8,000 miles away. Am I being an idiot? Apologies in advance for the long letter inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2015 - 30 answers

My boyfriend "forgot" me and let his ex stay during the holiday with him

Please help me get over the bitterness towards my boyfriend’s actions. I am turning into a person I truly dislike, but I can’t get over myself and all the bad feelings this story brought up. I have been with my man for almost three years in a LDR. He is great in so many ways and I do love him. However, I have lost my trust and confidence in him that he will be a considerate and respectful man, and a partner to count on in the future. [more inside]
posted by dreamsandhope on Feb 22, 2015 - 33 answers

Wise or silly risk: Reconnect or let go?

What is the message in this set of mixed messages? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 30, 2015 - 21 answers

How do I deal with a relationship that'll end when I move away?

Started a relationship with someone and it feels like the closest most intimate relationship I've ever been in, but, I'm financially committed to starting a new job in another country, in a month's time. We've already talked about spending as much time together as possible before the move (and we have a trip somewhere planned our last weekend together) but I don't know what to do after I move away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2014 - 8 answers

Long distance D/s Relationship Tips

My wife and I are in a 24/7 D/s relationship - she's the Domme, I'm the sub. Work is requiring me to spend most of my time in a city hundreds of miles away - I get back for most weekends but am on my own working 12+ hours a day during the week. Her moving is not an option. Any tips on how to keep the intensity up while I'm away?
posted by anonymous on Sep 28, 2014 - 4 answers

Planning a special weekend for an out-of-town cutie.

What would be fun things to do when a long-distance makeout buddy is visiting? (other than, uh, make out) What little things would make this special and interesting and fun? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 11, 2014 - 9 answers


I am a woman in my late 30s embarking upon an LDR. We plan to be together about half the time. After about 2 weeks of separation, I find myself going out of my head with sexual frustration. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 31, 2014 - 3 answers

Has this life stalled, or stagnated, or does it just need a new hobby?

I'm either going to need a radical overhaul, or just a new activity to keep me going a bit longer. Can't decide which, either because I'm indecisive or out of ideas. I'd like some input on either front: a) should I throw caution to the wind and take charge of my destiny? b) any suggestions for new preoccupations to get absorbed in while this current life persists? Piled embankments of soggy sleet within. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 4, 2014 - 18 answers

we had a rom-com meet-cute…11 years ago. now what?

Is this something worth pursuing? About 11 years ago, i went to a destination wedding at the Oregon Coast. I met a close childhood friend of the groom's at the wedding. Nothing inappropriate happened because he was married, but we hit it off that week. He was one of the funniest, fun guys I had met and I immediately developed a crush on him. Five years later, I had by then moved to Portland (he lived in DC), and we ended up at another destination wedding in the northwest with the same group of friends. I don't remember a lot of this second wedding bc I was emerging from a deep clinical depression and was on meds. I do remember again hitting it off with the same guy again—and again, nothing inappropriate bc he was still married and had a daughter by this time. Every once in long while, we would exchange an email message or a comment on FB, but as he was still married with children (by now two) and lived in DC, I didn't think much about him beyond a fondness every time I saw him post on FB. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 23, 2014 - 18 answers

Christmas Present for friends in a LDR

Because of work, my very good friend and her husband live on two different continents (she in Asia, he in North America) and see each other every couple of months. I'm wondering if there are any apps or digital subscriptions that they can share/use together around $25 that might make a good Christmas gift for both? [more inside]
posted by Pineapplicious on Dec 23, 2013 - 5 answers

Can/Should I rebuild trust in an LDR? How difficult might that be?

I broke up with my LDR significant other ("SO") because of SO's emotional affair, which SO concealed from me. Is my regret and doubt for breaking up with SO a signal to reconcile or a natural part of the loss? [more inside]
posted by sciolisticfelix on Dec 9, 2013 - 15 answers

What should I put in a meal in-a-box?

What meals-in-a-box should I send to my darling? [more inside]
posted by justalisteningman on Nov 23, 2013 - 6 answers

LDR Distress: did I lose the love of my life?

I have been in a (very) long distance relationship that I think might be over. I need closure but I am not sure if I can get it. I am always worried something very bad happened to keep this person from contacting me. I have no idea what to do. Loooong story. [more inside]
posted by his median eminence on Nov 20, 2013 - 24 answers

LDRs: Tales and travails

Have you been in an LDR? What worked, what didn't, and what's your analysis of the outcome? I'm in an LDR now (after 1.5 years of togetherness and half that cohabitating) and I'm struggling for a number of reasons. Your thoughts/experience/advice/et cetera welcomed. [more inside]
posted by stillmoving on Nov 15, 2013 - 12 answers

How to manage an LDR when there's no end to the distance in sight?

I have just moved to a new city for my dream job and I can’t stop crying. Long distance relationship woes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 7 answers

Do I tell my job why I'll be traveling?

My relationship just turned long distance. My natural reaction is to not tell my work anything because 1. Personal life and 2. I don't want them to assume I'll be leaving to follow (I might, but that'll be around a year from now). Is that paranoid? [more inside]
posted by platypus of the universe on Oct 15, 2013 - 19 answers

Question for mature members on Relationship

Would like advice from mature members here. What is your opinion on how to move forward in my situation? Do long distance relationships work? I really like this girl a lot...but she's gone. We met, the chemistry was amazing, we both fell in love. She's a very sensitive girl. Insecure. Quiet. Shy. A very sweet, and a good girl. Shortly after, knowing her for 3 weeks, she goes back home overseas. Her and her best friend were crying when they left at the airport. But she spent almost every day of her final three weeks with me (Not her friends) She made it clear that she wants a relationship. [more inside]
posted by Nicholas Geary on Jul 27, 2013 - 29 answers

Best transportation between PHL and ROC?

During the last year, my long-distance boyfriend and I have gotten used to making the trip between NYC and Rochester, NY for weekend visits. Now I'm moving to Philadelphia, and we need a new plan. What's the fastest, least painful, least expensive way to get between Philadelphia and Rochester? [more inside]
posted by i_am_a_fiesta on Jun 30, 2013 - 6 answers

A breakup means you break things off...

This was me. Short version: was in a 6 year relationship with about a year of long distance, partner dumped me for someone else out of the blue. A month later he broke up with her and has since been really working hard for us to get back together. I can't imagine trusting him enough to get back into a relationship, but I love him and he's my best friend so we're doing this weird friends-who-miss-one-another and love-one-another thing that I know will eventually end badly. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 11, 2013 - 25 answers

Pre-marriage counseling is fine. But how committed is he?

It's been a few months after my fiance proposed and he made plans to move in with me and my 15-year-old son this summer. As predicted, my son began acting up, basically in the form of talking back and being a little rude to me in front of the fiance, who comes here every weekend. It's important to note my son does not act this way when it's the 2 of us and I completely understand what's going on and we're talking to someone. [more inside]
posted by kinetic on Apr 27, 2013 - 26 answers

LDR or not?

5yr relationship relationship about to embark on potential 2 years or longer LDR [more inside]
posted by Trinergy on Mar 13, 2013 - 22 answers

Partner of 6 years kissed someone else - what next?

That's basically what I know right now. He kissed someone he's in a group with after the two of them went out to lunch. We've been together for 6 years, have been living in different states for the past year and a half; the distance was supposed to end this summer when we moved in together in a new city, but now I don't know what to think. He told me himself this morning; the kiss happened yesterday. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 4, 2013 - 24 answers

Long-distance relationship or debaucherous partying?

As a 22-year-old woman with zero real relationship experience, I'm turning to AskMe in this time of indecision. One of my best friends wants to date me, and I like him, but I also want to make out with boys I might like more. Does that make me a bad person? Should I forget about the other boys? Details inside, naturally. [more inside]
posted by jouir on Feb 12, 2013 - 33 answers

Hitting the like button just doesn't cut it.

Hit me with your best asynchronous communication tips, games, tools & tricks. [more inside]
posted by deludingmyself on Nov 14, 2012 - 7 answers

Dysthymia care package

How can I constructively help my newly long-distance boyfriend with possible low-grade depression? I'd like ideas for what to send him in a care package, and I'm also wondering if I'm being overbearing / Jesus Girlfriend-y. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by sockpuppetofexistentialconfusion on Nov 2, 2012 - 7 answers

Taking the LD out of an LDR

Advice for long-distance partners finally settling together? [more inside]
posted by harujion on Oct 11, 2012 - 9 answers

Will He or Won't He?

My wonderful long-distance boyfriend and I have discussed him moving in with me and my kid. But I'm starting to wonder if it's really going to happen and I need some hivemind advice here. [more inside]
posted by kinetic on Oct 1, 2012 - 17 answers

Advice for someone new to crossdressing and D/s.

My husband just told me he's into crossdressing and wants to introduce D/s into our sex life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2012 - 15 answers

How to resolve rational/emotional conflict over temporary LDR?

My serious partner and I are not going to see each other for about two months, and its causing intense depression for me. Is this period of long distance in my serious relationship an opportunity to work on improving myself and fixing the mental health issues it triggers? Or is the difficulty I'm having a sign that I'm not cut out for this kind of relationship? Help me think this through and make the right decisions! [more inside]
posted by supernaturelle on Sep 12, 2012 - 15 answers

Cutting line and fishing

I broke up with my boyfriend when I moved across the country several months ago, because of the distance. Now I want to date him long-distance. Should I talk to him about it or wait it out and hopefully stop wanting to date him? Flurries inside. [more inside]
posted by momus_window on Sep 5, 2012 - 12 answers

Should I maintain radio silence?

I cut ties off with someone, and every few months she sends me an e-mail or Facebook message trying to get back in touch. Should I send her a message to tell her to stop? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 24, 2012 - 25 answers

Shall I visit my kind-of-ex or not?

Travelling to a country where someone that I was involved with fairly recently and parted on amicable terms lives. Shall I visit him - and risk either rekindling a relationship that doesn't really have a future, or becoming even more heartbroken? Snowflakes within. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 17, 2012 - 18 answers

Is it normal to feel this way before moving for an ldr?

I move across the country for my boyfriend tomorrow, and I am not feeling very relaxed about it. [more inside]
posted by queens86 on May 31, 2012 - 38 answers

How to Handle the Hormones

Emotional cheating vs. Real Life cheating (with prostitutes!) or how to handle hormones... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2012 - 71 answers

Do I throw away a half-bottle of maple syrup?

Throw away or keep? A Maple Syrup love story. [more inside]
posted by LemonGardot on May 10, 2012 - 26 answers

long distance custody

Is there a way for parents to move far apart without hurting the kids? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 26, 2012 - 22 answers

What advice to give to my fiance, who is in law school and in a bad place?

My fiance is not speaking to me. We are in a long-distance relationship. He is depressed, has ADHD, a probable gaming addiction, and not doing well in law school. How can I help him? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 21, 2012 - 23 answers

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