Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with lazy

Help me make better decisions in the morning

dcrocha — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 10:14:23 -0800

How do I make better decisions in the morning? I hate waking up early in the morning, and because of this I end up screwing up a lot of things when getting out of bed. Some examples of stupid decisions taken just so I could sleep a bit longer: missing classes and exams, medical appointments, not going to the gym, missing (many) flights, not answering important phone calls, and the list is very long.

I seem not to have good judgment when deciding whether or not to get out of bed. How can I improve that?

Do lazy people change?

mjewkes — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 09:01:40 -0800

Do you know of anyone, yourself included, who has actually made significant positive in terms of optimism, discipline, and ambition? How did this happen? Ask MeFi is replete with questions of getting ones life together, building discipline, overcoming laziness, and developing ambition, direction, and purpose. [1][2][3][4][e t c].

Anyone had any luck? What prompted the change, and how did you do it? Any lasting change?

Personal stories only please. Lots of advice out there - does any of it work?

How can I make myself do stuff?

Anonymous — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 15:53:49 -0800

I can't make myself do anything. I've never been able to. I want to accomplish so much, I have goals, but for some reason, I just can't make myself do all the things I know I'm capable of. How can I turn this around? Is there a name for it? What should I do? I managed to get through high school, get into a good college and I'm graduating this semester with an average GPA. But I feel like that's not good enough. I'm pretty sure the reason I've been able to make it this far is because I'm actually smarter than most people, and I've been sliding by on that alone. I always write papers the day before they're due no matter how intense they are, and I always get the middling grades I deserve.

I'm capable of functioning just fine - I keep myself and my apartment clean, I can hold down a job, I've only ever flunked one class. But even so, I only ever do the bare minimum of what's expected of me and I know I'm capable of so much more. Even getting around to writing this short question took me a week. My parents have given me basically everything I've ever wanted and it's going to stop soon. Heck, I want it to stop.

I've tried plenty of things - compartmentalizing my life, coming up with rigorous schedules, taking notes, but I always throw them out within a day or so and go back to goofing off until I absolutely have to do something. I'm appalled at how much time I waste, but I just can't stop doing it.

I stopped drinking (I used to drink way too much, alone) a few months ago and I feel like that's a step in the right direction, but now I just do nothing while sober. I generally have a happy disposition and don't think I'm depressed, nor do I think I have ADD (but maybe). If I had to chalk it up to anything, I'd guess that no one ever pushed me as hard as I needed to be pushed when I was a child (though my parents did a wonderful job all around).

I genuinely think I'm an intelligent and capable person, but I'm so profoundly unmotivated that it hardly matters. I need serious change in my life and I'm not sure how to effect it. Therapy? Drugs? I want to get shit done, but I don't even know who to talk to because everyone just thinks I'm lazy.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Anonymous — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 09:58:40 -0800

What's the best approach to take with the a lead software developer after being left holding the ball? About a month into a new full-time development gig (after almost a decade of contracting/freelance for me) the lead developer left for a two week vacation with assurances that we were more or less feature complete and the only thing left to do before launch would be cleaning up a few bugs.

Lies. (duh)

While on vacation we've found huge areas of functionality that were unimplemented, and others that were implemented so fragilely that they were bound to break. It's been a week of hell scrambling to get everything finished while at the same time not throwing lead-developer under the bus with the higher ups.

Lead developer has a huge amount of seniority. I'm the only other member of the team with any experience in the software industry (other developers have less than a year of professional experience). There's no formal project management at the company.

I'd like this job to work out. What approach do I take with the lead when he gets back? Do I point blank (in private) confront/talk-to him about the the lack of organization/management and what I view as a lackadaisical attitude towards developing code that actually works? Do I accept this is just his MO and work around it while covering my ass at the same time?

Any advice on ways to deal with this situation in a positive way would be appreciated. I'm used to being brought into situations like this as a contractor where I can drop in, hurt feelings, get something done, then move on to the next gig. I don't think that works in a situation you'd like to work out long term.

Why am I so useless?

Anonymous — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 05:14:04 -0800

I am a useless procrastinator, I see it happening, and I can see the outcome but I can't help it, I feel out of control almost. It's something I tend to deal with okay at work (a more direct task-based environment I guess) but at home it's terrible. My wife and I have had the same argument many times, about me not doing enough around the house. She doesn't ask a lot, and I have no objection to what she asks, but when it comes to doing it I just put it off and then either don't do it at all, or do a half-assed job. About the only thing I can do regularly is the dishes, but even that isn't great most of the time apparently.

From my wife's perspective I am simply choosing not to do it. She thinks it demonstrates that she and our son aren't important to me, but nothing could be further from the truth really, but at the same time I can't blame her for that feeling.

I don't know how to deal with it. These should be fairly simple chores - I am certainly capable of it - but when the time comes I just don't do them. I put them off in favor of other things. I seem to justify them to myself, or say 'in five minutes' but at the same time it doesn't even seem like a conscious decision I am making, and then it's all too late. I can almost hear my inner monologue saying "man, you really really have to do this now" but that seems to make no difference.

I don't even know where to begin in dealing with this, and more importantly in making my wife see that I really do want to change this behavior.

I've tried things that seem logical in the past - making myself little schedules, or reminders, but that seems to come to nothing, they just get put off like everything else. Thinking about it logically it almost seems pathological to me, I feel completely out of control in this.

I'm considering seeing a psychologist about it or something, but will that help me change my behavior?

The obvious answer is "just do the stuff" and it's the one I scream at myself but it doesn't seem to make a difference. I don't think I am lazy, but it's hard to see it any other way.

This is seriously jeopardizing my marriage now and I really really need to make some progress.

Lazy, bored, worthless.

giggleknickers — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:30:45 -0800

Why am I so lazy? If anyone has seen Office Space, I'm exactly like the lead character. There is nothing in the world that I want except to do nothing. I have tried and tried and tried to find something that I enjoy, or that will motivate me. Everything I can find is painfully boring. Travelling, a career, hobbies, meeting people - all of it bores me to tears. I only do the minimum in life to get by and it grates my nerves to do that much.

Sometimes I go hungry for a couple days because it's just so damn boring to go to the grocery store. It boggles my mind how some people hop out of bed and go about doing things, when it takes such enormous will to do something like washing the dishes.

I get by in life by scavenging and I have never held a job for more than a few months because the boredom overwhelms me. I'm so ashamed of myself and I'd give anything to feel motivation and drive for something. The only reason I do anything at all is so that I can keep a roof over my head.

I tried all the obvious solutions:
-Exercise
-Therapy
-Depression meds
-Blood test
-Healthy food

No, I don't have ADD, much as everybody loves to tell everyone else that they have it.

Nothing works. Please, somebody help me. There must be something.

Around the world but still stay in one spot?

pianomover — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:59:12 -0800

If the right helicopter were to exist, could I rise X number of feet (not to far mind you) above the earth point myself in the right direction hover there and then watch the world go by underneath me? How fast would I have to go and should I bring a change of clothes?

Fantasy Baseball for lazy retards

c:\awesome — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 14:37:51 -0800

So my friend and I want to do fantasy baseball this season, but we don't know the first thing about running one. Compounding the issue is the fact that we're too lazy to rank players, and too busy to constantly be tracking stats. What's the easiest, most low-impact fantasy baseball system for a couple of lazy fanatics?

quantum pathology

nihlton — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 12:55:00 -0800

quantum physics. what am I not getting? my understanding of quantum physics is that on the really small scale, our traditional laws of physics aren't so cut and dry so we had to develop probability models for how stuff will behave in order to make testable predictions. is that even approaching accurate?

if its not pretend my question is a request for a layman's explanation for quantum physics. If its close enough, read on for my actual question...

isn't that kind of lazy science?

I mean, my understanding is that in traditional physics, nothing is random. coin tosses, dice rolls, all of it can be predicted if you've got enough data. seems counterintuitive that this would change just because you're getting really small.

appearances aside - it seems to me sort of defeatist to say "stuff happens that we don't expect. there is no way we can know how or why, so lets just gather enough data to be able to say how its probably going to happen next time" Like if we never understood how gangrene happened, but instead of searching for the cause, we developed a probabilistic model for how and when it would strike. quantum pathology? that would never fly.

are we even still looking for the forces or effects that cause discrepancies at the quantum scale?

I don't know, maybe this question is silly and I don't understand the science well enough, but it seems like just declaring something unknowable and moving on isn't very scientific at all.

Help this impatient person learn how to cook from a book.

mintchip — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 18:50:25 -0800

Help this impatient person learn how to cook from a book. I don't know how to cook. I am extremely lazy in the kitchen and want to learn to make good, tasty meals that require a MINIMUM of preparation* and utilize as many shortcuts as possible (e.g. frozen veggies, pre-made stir fry sauces, etc.).

I love vegetables, chicken and fish but don't eat red meat. I prefer ethnic flavors such as thai, indian, asian etc. I'm thinking learning some stirfry techniques might be a good place to start, but I'm open to other ideas.

What are the best cookbooks for me to try? In addition to a lack of cooking technique, I also know very little about basics such as stocking my kitchen. Thanks!!

*Ideally 10 minutes or less.

SurvivalistFilter part 3: Homemade MREs

jytsai — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 13:05:48 -0800

Survivalist/LazyStudentFilter: I need advise on the feasibility of making my own "canned" meals (but without the can), using boil-able/freezable/microwavable plastic pouches, a vacuum sealer, and a pressure cooker. May interest cheap and lazy students, busy people, and survivalists - if it works. Details inside... So the theory goes: I cook the food and put it in a pouch (specs), vacuum seal the pouch, and pasteurize it in the pressure cooker. If this works, I would be able to make a big batch of food when I have time, split em up into smaller portions that are durable and don't require refrigeration, and be set on food for days. Cheaper, and certainly more nutritious than pre-prepared frozen foods. These food pouches would have the added bonus of doubling as MREs, for long term disaster preparedness.

The questions are:

Safety: How safe is this? I'm assuming the bags are hermetically sealed so air leakage = contamination, and conversely no air leakage = no contamination. But this assumption only works if the bags are sterilized. Assuming that I follow the homemade canned food guidelines for pressure cooker pasteurization (125 degrees celsius for X number of minutes), would proper sterilization have occurred? Or is home canning more of a "good enough, but not completely sterile" process?

Nutrition: How nutritious is the food, post processing? Will the pressure cooking significantly alter the nutritional content beyond that of normal cooking? Also, can I fortify the food with ground up multivitamin pills? Or would that significantly alter taste?

Shelf Life: Given a cool, dark environment, what's the shelf life of the plastic pouch, as well as the food? And would vacuum sealing all of it in a second mylar pouch (specs) significantly improve the shelf life?

Bonus questions: If I were to use the same process on dried fruits, would it significantly alter taste/nutrution? And would pressure cooking adversely affect the function of oxygen absorbers or desiccants that are packed with aforementioned dehydrated fruits?

Get Me Off The Computer!!!!

zacharyseibert — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 09:20:14 -0800

Help me get off of my computer every now and then... OK so here's the deal. I am a college student who pretty much spends most of his time in front of the computer and the tv. I live in a dorm so there really isn't much else to do when I'm not working or in class. Basically what I'm looking for is some motivation to get off the computer. By motivation, I mean some sort of software that will lock me out of my computer at a predetermined time everyday and make it semi-difficult get back on it. I do need to be able to override it just in case the occassional assignment comes up or it's finals week or something. Also, I'm on a Mac.

So does this software exist?

Nom Nom Nom

quin — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 10:59:06 -0800

I'd like to learn to cook. The Background: For the first thirty-six years of my life, I've subsisted mainly on frozen food. This worked for me because I'm A.) Lazy, and B.) was a long time smoker and had completely destroyed my taste-buds.

However, I've subsequently quit and am discovering that this thing we call "food" actually has a "flavor". It's interesting.

I have no background in food making, but I have access to most of the acoutriments of cooking.
The Question: What kind of meal should I invest my time in learning to make? Google has provided an overwhelming number of suggestions and I don't have any idea where to begin.

The Caveats: As I said above; I'm lazy, so I'd like to find food making projects that are not all day affairs. Specifically, I'm looking for a couple of simple, easy to make meals, that are also tasty.

I like meat, but the wife doesn't, so I'd prefer to make something that we both can enjoy.

So where do I start?

How to Stop Slacking

raisons de coeur — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 01:05:58 -0800

Is there anything besides 'willpower' to grab hold of if you wanted to stop being ruinously indisciplined? Do you know people who've managed major personal change on that front? It's difficult because it feels like it's literally ALL IN YOUR HEAD so how do you change your own mind? Say you slacked. Say your life was literally ruined by this: that you had the best possible education and life circumstances your parents could possibly manage, which is a lot more than the background they came from--a hell of a lot more--but because of how you mismanaged it all, your childhood friends are now generic yuppies while your current peers by position/income are now generic service industry clerks (I'm early 20s).

Say it didn't matter whether it'd be education, work, or even things you'd take on for fun--you just never followed through. That it was pervasive: it didn't matter whether the issue was personal calls back to people, filling out a plain form, doing the dishes--everything from things like that to showing up to high-powered meetings 20 mins late (and thus managing to get yourself shut out of future such meetings since they all gave up on you).

Say you've heard this hundreds of times before: "you're so damn smart, I can't believe you didn't [pull through on whatever the issue was.]" It'd be almost cliche: no matter what it is, you'd have the capacity to do it but fail nonetheless. (Literal quote from a few weeks ago: "I can't believe you [didn't manage X issue at Y place.] NOBODY [doesn't.]" Again, it wasn't so much that I didn't do X to its requirements; I just didn't do X.)

Say that the wrecking effects this had were wildly disproportionate to the causes, eg. getting around to submitting the form would be trivial but not having done it suddenly colors your whole life status.

Say every time you got a chance to begin anew--and you get them again and again--you blew it.

So you were barely functional; anonymous--obscure--fading away.

Is there anything you could do besides wake up hoping to 'somehow' spend today differently.
I guess not.
Damn.

I need to do all the normal things that constitute life, but I sit on my butt!

stormygrey — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 06:05:41 -0800

Please help me get my schedule organized... or something, whatever you call it. I am extremely flighty or forgetful or spacey, whatever you want to call it. I very rarely remember to do things like take my medicine, pack work out clothes, etc.

For example I make lists like:
Brush teeth 3 minutes
Jump rope 5 minutes
Elliptical 15 minutes
Wash face 2 minutes
Retin A, Vitamins, Meds, 2 min
Get dressed 7 min
Drive to work 18 min

Now, I make these lists twice a week or more to try to get me on track and yet I never do these things, ever. I get up 10 minutes or less before I need to be at work, throw on clothes and put on my make up in the car. ALL THE TIME. So I make another list at work about going to the gym, cooking a healthy dinner, applying self tanner or whatever. I obsess at work about all the things I didn't do and all the things I am not doing, see cause I just sit and don't do anything at work too. Then I get home and sit on the couch. ALL THE TIME.

The weird thing is if I have to do something its not a problem. For example, I just hired a personal trainer, she shows up at my house twice a week at 5:45, we work out to 6:45, I take a shower and get to work by 7:30. Or on the weekends, I bartend and I do all the things that go along with it just fine, then I go home and sit.

I just wish I could be productive at home and at my "real job" like I am at bartending or what not. Bartending is easy because really their is no question what needs to be done next. I pick up after myself and my customers and serve with gusto, why am I so crippled at home?

I do a little better with Adderall, but I have a crazy high heart rate and just got a prescription for Beta Blockers, so no go on the stimulants right now. We'll see if that does anything at all.

I am looking for practical solutions like "tape the list to the mirror in the morning" to little rituals, or what worked for you, or whatever. I have talked to doctors about this, but since I am seen as "high functioning" or whatever they see it as more of a quirk than anything else and say things like "well, I'll make you a deal, if you go back to school, I will prescribe you adderall." I already have one master's and graduate certificate, I am not really in a place where I can go back to school at this point.

I know this is long and rambling. I am just feeling a little frenetic right now. I look forward to hearing your ideas.

I feel as though I've become lazy and complacent. How can I get back to my "old self"?

tundro — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 08:40:08 -0800

I feel as though I've become lazy and complacent. How can I get back to my "old self"? To cut to the chase, I'm in my late 20s and have what most could call (myself included) a happy and successful life. You know, the fulfilling job, beautiful wife, nice house, great friends, etc. For as long as I can remember I've been optimistic, aggressive about getting what I want and rarely sat still. Yes, I'm a Type A personality. Sure, nothing is perfect... but I have more than most and I'm grateful for it.

That said, now that I'm getting a little older I find myself becoming what I would consider lazy and complacent. I find that I'm starting to settle for things that I wouldn't have been happy with years ago. I lack the desire to fight as hard as I used to, opting instead for what's easy. And I HATE IT when I do it but I can't make myself stop. As a response, I've tried to convince myself to change my ways (as I consciously know that I am the only one that has control over how I act)... but I'm lacking the discipline to see through these changes. Whether its proper exercise, eating better, cleaning the house or even getting around to doing my taxes I just don't have the energy or drive to get it done. Hell, I even started looking at volunteer to help others and get outside of my head but I keep making excuses and haven't done it yet.

I know in my head what I think is the right thing to do, but I'm failing miserably at turning it into an actionable reality. Am I depressed? Am I just a moron? What has worked for you when you're stuck in a rut a looking for a way out?

Did I ruin my car?

sutel — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 10:35:11 -0800

Did I totally screw up my car? It got all wet inside and I'm worried that I've ruined it. About six weeks ago, we had a wicked ice/snow storm here in Boston. My car was parked on a really busy road, at the end of a block, and during the intial storm the plow piled on a whole bunch of ice and snow and some rocks thrown in for fun. I only drive my car occasionally so I didn't dig it out right away, thinking it would melt in a couple of days and I'd be able to get it out.

Well. The ice and snow all over the car did not melt, but the ice and snow under the car did. I left it like this for probably three weeks. When I finally decided to attempt to dig it out, I got in the car only to find that the floor was soaking wet. The puddle the car was sitting in was probably six inches deep. I did manage to get the car out as most of the ice around the car had melted by that point.

It's been two weeks or so and the floor and the floor mats are still wet. Did I totally fuck up my car? Is it going to rust up and fall apart underneath me tomorrow? It's a 96 Nissan Sentra. How can I dry it? I know I can leave the mats out in the sun to dry, but what about the interior floor?

I know I was lazy - trust me, I've been kicking myself for being such a dumbass about it. Plus, it smells really musty inside the car so every time I drive the car I get to remind myself about being lazy again.

Thanks for any advice you might have.

How do I become less lazy?

Anonymous — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 13:33:58 -0800

How do I become less lazy? I'm 23. I'm lazy. I barely want to get up in the morning; I'd rather stay comfortable in bed. I wait until the last minute to take out the trash or do the dishes. My husband insists that it's not a problem because he likes the activity, but I feel such guilt for not pulling my share lately. Sometimes I'll skip class because I feel too tired or something to walk to school. I can't focus on readings or tasks at hand. I feel completely apathetic about my grades as long as I can maintain a B. I'll nuke a burrito if it means I don't have to spend more than five minutes making lunch and cleaning up. I've gained approximately 20 lbs. in the last year (likely from moving out on my own) and have moved from plus-sized to obese.

I'm going to graduate from college soon and so it might be the fabled "senioritis" extending to my non-academic life. Either way, I'm becoming lazier and lazier and I want to curb this now.

I believe that I have experienced a touch of SAD in the past, but I have never seen a doctor about it. There's six feet of snow on the ground and it's overcast every day here, so I'm sure that's not helping. Can I be depressed while I feel generally very happy about my life (aside from my laziness issue)? Would therapy help me with this? Did I develop some kind of adult ADD in the last year?

Help me develope a morning routine

sicem07 — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 09:00:01 -0800

What morning routine has worked for you? I'm currently working at a church before starting med school in the summer, and pretty much make my own hours. This has caused me to slowly shift the 9-5, to 10-6, and I fear I may be slipping back even farther. So I ask, masters of the green, what works for you? What should I do with my mornings?

I would like to be a morning person, I have been in the past. I also used to be in pretty good shape, perhaps I should go down that road. Should I go for a run? Write a novel? Ride my bike? Hit the gym? Read the paper? Learn a language? Say 'Screw it all' and sleep in? There are many books and websites out there, but I'd rather hear the brutally honest voice of MetaFi.

I'll go with whatever the consensus is, if there happens to be one. And yes, I saw this question but I'm not ready to admit my internet addiction yet.

Thanks in advance!

Paying for a family tree?

amber_dale — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 08:23:50 -0800

Am I related to George Washington? I have a bet with my boyfriend but don't want to do the genealogical research myself. While discussing this Barack Obama story with me, my boyfriend claimed that I was as closely related to George Washington due to my descent from Western European Christian stock. I don't have the time or inclination to research my family tree, but I'd be willing to pay a person or service to trace it for me. Is this available online?

Has anyone ever changed from apathetic to motivated? What happened?

AuroraSky — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 15:45:32 -0800

Since developing bipolar disorder, and subsequently being out of work since April 2005, I find my motivation and concentration has gone to be replaced by apathy and what must seem to others like laziness. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and got themselves out of it, and if so, how? I seem to have slowly become the stereotypical depressed unemployed person, getting up very late, washing as little as possible, with an incredibly untidy house, and all the outward signs of being incredibly lazy. At the same time I know my bipolar disorder has a lot to do with that, and have got treatment for it (Prozac). My problem is this - I can manage to motivate myself to do things I might find enjoyable - visit a friend, participate in online forums about social anxiety, go to the cinema. However for things most people dislike but just get on with - making job applications, cleaning and tidying, washing dishes, I really have NO motivation and literally spend hours in bed doing nothing. I don't have that nagging voice or those internal standards that get people going. Unlike some depressed people, I am all too forgiving of myself and let myself off the hook where they might be filled with self-recrimination.

In April I will have been out of work for 2 years and worry about getting into a lifestyle and habits I will struggle to get out of, and if I manage to find a job will perform poorly, perhaps drifting from job to job getting poor references from each employer.

Has anyone else ever been that depressed/ lazy guy or gal? How did you get yourself out of it? Or if you have a relative or friend who turned things around, what did they do? I have the uncomfortable feeling that my life is just drifting away, I am 37 and 50 doesn't seem as far away as it once did, so the sooner I get my act together the better. Thanks in advance for any help, and happy holidays everyone.

Bad roommate wants to do good

Anonymous — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 18:45:55 -0800

BadRoommateFilter: in which I am the bad roommate. I've heard my two roommates talk about me in the living room late last night from my room. They mentionned I was lazy, didn't do anything all day, stayed in bed late and that I sucked as a roommate.

I was getting along well with one of the roommates (we have been sharing the apartment since August), though we are not friends, do not talk about any personal stuff and only bonded over hockey highlights on late-night TV and going to watch one MLB game. The other roommate came in October, and though there's never been any incident up to now, there's always been an uneasiness between the two of us. The three of us simply have never really geled together.

I always pay the rent on time, the landlord has no problem with us. As far as household work is concerned, I clean up the bathroom and broom the ceiling every once in a while. Household work does not seem to be a concern for anyone, and there is no specific agreement or communication about who should be doing what, and when. Furthermore, I rarely see my roommates doing household work, apart from taking out the garbage and the recycling bin. I'm certainly a bit lazy about cleaning up my dishes, so that's one thing I am going to pick up on. But I don't think this is the real problem.

I'm not the most social person, and I prefer to be private and alone most of the time. I used to hang out in the living room, but now I am a bit more withdrawn and stay in my room. (Total disclosure: I have been occasionally smoking pot at night in my room in the last three weeks. I recognize it is unhealthy for me and I am stopping pot for a while. I am also unemployed, and truthfully my life is not in the best of shape now and I need to get it back on track. However, I don't think this concerns my rommates, and I don't think they are being wronged by this situation, though it may be unpleasant for them.)

When I do venture into the living room, most of the time my roommates will be watching something on TV that doesn't interest me, or will be chatting on MSN on their own laptop. I have been thinking of introducing some sort of game in the living room so we can connect together, but since they don't seem to like me too much, I don;t know if it's a good idea at this time.

One concrete "incident" I am aware of is when I got out of my room to go to the bathroom while a bit stoned, and the roommate I get along less asked me if I was aware the cable TV was out. I mumbled something, quickly went into the bathroom and returned to my room without any further ado and avoiding the roommate's gaze. Not my finest hour to be sure, and I should apologize to my roommate for this (this happened fairly recently), but I don't want to make it embarrassing for me or the roommate.

So apart from stopping pot, cleaning up my dishes faster and being forthcoming with household work, I am not sure if or how I should address the situation (being disliked by my roommates). I wonder if I try too hard to be friendly or social, I might make it more akward for everyone. But I would like the situation to be satifying for all, myself included, and I am not too sure about what to do now.

badroommate.askmefi at gmail d0t com.

Do you know you have a lazy eye?

The_Partridge_Family — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 14:35:12 -0800

What is the proper etiquette for asking someone about their lazy eye? I have a colleague at work who sometimes - about 5% of the time - has a lazy eye. On these occasions I am naturally confused when confronted by two eyes each pointing in different directions and so instinctively avoid eye contact. Is it wrong to ask her about it? Because it's not permanent I'm also wondering if perhaps she's unaware of it.

staring into space

BruceL — Mon, 03 Apr 2006 17:03:45 -0800

How do I become an ass-kicking high achiever? At 34, I find myself totally loaded with things that need to get done, but aren't.

Work-wise, I've got 21 papers stacked up on the runway, waiting for me to start kicking out drafts. Home-wise, the wife comes up with five new projects for every one that takes me a month to complete. Career-wise, there's just a ton of stuff I need to be doing. I'm pathetically inactive wrt citizenship, politics, world events, future/contingency planning, and a host of other adult responsibilities.

I've made huge changes in the last two years that should have made all the difference; got a handle on my mild depression, drastically cut time spent on computer-related recreation, totally beat a decade-long battle with debilitating neck and back pain, put a firm GTD scheme in place, tripled how much I can bench, got more sleep, and have the Diet Of The Gods. Hell, I even use my drivetime for audiobooks.

The changes have made a difference in my productivity, it's true, but I'm wondering what I can do to take things to the next level when the simple truth is that I fundamentally lack the hard-driving burning desire most successful people seem to have. If no one is in my face demanding something then I just flake out and turn to useless mush, and things are going undone for very long periods of time.

I know the answer is probably different for all people and might be buried in the details of my own personal situation, but just generally... Any ideas on how a comfortable, lazy sack turns himself into a Rocking God? I don't expect to become Bob Page and get close to ruling the world, I just want to have my NA list in front of me and be able to dredge up the stones to actually do some of those things.

Lazy, Unemployed Wreck

psychotic_venom — Fri, 03 Feb 2006 09:08:12 -0800

What are some practical things to do to help motivate my lazy, unemployed, (slightly) depressed friend. I have a very dear friend (he was best man at my wedding), who is now in a band with me. He has been unemployed for most of the 2 years that he has been out of college. I landed him a contract position for a few months, and he has been living off of the savings since then (over a year). He is about to run out of money, and he is such a procrastinator that he will wait until he is in a bind before addressing it.

My question is: What can I do to help, or, what I can I do to let him hit rock bottom. It hurts ME to see him like this, but I know I can't CHANGE him. I gotta change me, our relationship, or empower him to change.