Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with kiss

We'll kiss, but only if you work for it.

spinturtle — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 09:46:40 -0800

I can't believe I'm actually using a question for this, but wevs. My SO and & are getting married on Saturday. We completely and totally do *not* want glass-clinking at our reception. Seriously. At the same time, we realize that there should be some kind of 'hey you should kiss' thing, in order to avoid total anarchy. We've been to weddings where they've had alternate ideas - for example, if you want the couple to kiss, you must come up and recite a poem using a specific word, or sing a verse of a song, etc. These went over really well. I'm somewhat of an 80's pop music savant, so we're really keen on using the question cards from 80's Trivial Pursuit (small, portable, no singing). Problem - we won't have a microphone, as we're doing iPod dj, so aren't sure how to actually implement this. The venue is small, and we'll have under 70 guests. We'll be at a sweetheart table, right in the middle of the action. Do we just stand up and yell "hey, if you want us to kiss you have to come up and answer a question!"? If someone comes up to answer a question (the box would be on our table), do we have to get the whole room's attention so it can be done 'out loud', or do we just let people notice if they happen to notice, and not worry if they don't?

Any ideas/advice greatly appreciated.

I can't believe the things that are stressing me out this week, vs. the things that are going smoothly. Is it over yet?

Never been kissed!

Anonymous — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 01:06:27 -0800

[Relationship (or lack thereof) Filter] I'm a 21 year old chick, getting ready to graduate from college this May, and I've never been in a relationship. Worse yet, I've never been on a date, fooled around, or even kissed someone! I'm like Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed, only without Michael Vartan to save the day. So, about me: I'm a 20 year old female. I'm 5'9 and slightly overweight - I'm not obese, but I'm not a stick by any means. I'm cute and have nice hair. I'm intelligent, occasionally witty, nice, and vaguely quirky. I spend most of my time in class, at work, doing homework, or singing in the university choir.

For a long time I considered myself to be socially awkward, but I have it on pretty good authority that others don't perceive my as such. My biggest social problem is that I don't know how to take "next steps" - moving from casual acquaintances in class to friends who hang out. As such, I have trouble making friends at all, let alone prospective boyfriends.

My only experience with anything romantic/intimate/dating-ish comes through my friends or through the movies. It never really bothered me in the past - I was much more concerned with doing well in school and whatnot. Now I'm feeling like, every day that passes, the situation gets worse.

I've had crushes on guys before, but I don't know how to see if they like me or ask them out. And even if I went on a date, I wouldn't know what to do with myself! I don't even know how I could explain it to my date. I'm just completely and utterly at a loss.

Can anyone help me at all?

[You can email HelpNeverBeenKissed@gmail.com with questions/private comments/whatever.]

Create opening for kiss or wait it out?

Anonymous — Wed, 07 May 2008 08:14:55 -0800

I fancy this girl. We've been on 8 dates now. We haven't kissed. Should I make a move, or wait for the 'moment' to arise, or have I been relegated to the 'friend zone'? [long] I met her in a club, and she later told me that she liked how I wasn't 'touchy' the way other guys are. So whilst I've been dying to kiss her, I've also been trying my best to respect her personal space, and to watch for body language that might indicate that she is ready or keen to be kissed.

The last time we went out to a club, she ended up spending half the time wrapped in my arms with her head resting on my chest as people jostled their way on and off a rather crowded dance floor. That's the most amount of mutually-initiated physical contact we've had.

Otherwise, we talk a fair amount when we meet up, eat lots of ice cream and cakes, but her body language seems rather closed up and conservative. We don't text or otherwise communicate much when we're not meeting up or trying to figure out when is the next time we're both free to meet up, though she has said that she finds it easy to talk to me and that that was another reason why she agreed to go out with me in the first place.

There are factors that might suggest that she is not ready for a relationship or anything close to it just yet: she has just started a rather hectic new job, and she broke up with her previous boyfriend a few months ago. The first time we went out she told me that she wanted to focus on her work, and that she wasn't ready for a relationship.

Yet we've been going out once, occasionally twice a week for the last month or so. I blame the relatively low frequency of our dates on her hectic work schedule that sometimes saddles her with back-to-back night and day shifts. The last time I sent her back, she asked me flat out (because she's that kind of down to earth, direct sort of person) what I thought of her so far, and I basically said that I liked her, liked talking and spending time with her, and that the only thing I didn't like about her was her hectic work schedule that prevented us from meeting up more often (said in a joking manner of course). I'm not the only one asking her out on these dates; she pulls her own weight in that department as well, and also suggests alternative times/days if she can't make the times/days that I suggest.

My question is: should I take it that she's waiting for me to create an opening, or should I wait till I receive stronger and more positive signals from her, or should I begin to reconcile myself to the possibility that this is as far as things might go?

This is my first relationshipfilter question, so please be gentle. :)

If you knew a first kiss was coming, and you could do a little advance planning, how would you do it?

Anonymous — Mon, 05 May 2008 07:13:16 -0800

If you knew a first kiss was coming, and you could do a little advance planning, how would you do it? I am looking for ideas for my first kiss with a guy who I care for a great deal. I think we are starting something really amazing, and I really want our first kiss to be something special, for both of us.

In case it helps with ideas, here's our history and situation: (apologies for the length; it's a little complicated)

He and I have been friends for a few years. When we first became friends we spent a good amount of time together, and I developed a crush, but I chose not to pursue it for reasons I won't go into here but that were unrelated to how we got along. As we dated other people, we fell out of regular touch, but when we did run into each other, we continued to get along very happily and easily. He was easily one of my favorite people and I thought it was a shame that we were not regular friends, but we both were busy people and we just had other priorities and demands on our time, I guess.

Fast forward to a few months ago. I was unattached, and he was dealing with a dissolving relationship with his live-in girlfriend. We randomly ran into each other on the sidewalk, and we have been hanging out regularly one-on-one ever since. I realized pretty quickly that my crush had never really gone away, and it didn't take long for me to develop some pretty serious feelings for him. But, he was still figuring out if/how his relationship was ending, so I did not pursue anything more than friendship. (OK, maybe with an ever-so-slightly flirty edge, but always ethical. :) So we continued as friends and as we did, I began wondering if it was possible that I was not the only one to feel something more. Our connection and chemistry just felt so *right* to me, more than with anyone else I've ever met, and I was getting little clues in the way he acted around me that he was feeling a connection, too.

A short time ago, he put the final nail in the coffin of his relationship with the gf, so to speak, and when we hung out a few days ago, we were both pretty flirty to the point that we both know for sure that the other is interested. (Hand holding, etc. :) That's where it stopped that night, and our ability to hang out is limited while he finishes a big work project, but I hope that we'll finally kiss sometime very soon. He has said he is very much looking forward to when we can spend time together again, and so am I. :)

Despite the complication that comes with our feelings having developed while he was ending a serious relationship, I think that we have something very special. I've never felt this solid of a connection with anyone before, and I think we might be beginning something really amazing. I'm really excited about it, and I'd like our first kiss to be really special, too. Nothing that is public or extravagant; we are pretty chill, relaxed, low-key and private people. I also don't want it to be totally scripted, by any means. But if I could suggest a nice place for our next date that would help make for a really nice first kiss scenario, something special and memorable and a little romantic... well, that'd be really great. I just don't know what that would be.

I realize this is probably going to be a personal decision, in order to make it special for us, but any suggestions you have would help me immensely. I just don't know where to start thinking about it.

update: I am in Boston (Cambridge), MA, with access to a car. So it's possible to drive out a little, but I wouldn't want to propose anything too far."

My lips or yours?

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 19:23:44 -0800

Can I kiss you? I like this girl and I want to kiss her to let her know how I feel. Nothing intense, just a quick kiss on the lips in the middle of a conversation. This isn't just some random girl I met, I've known her for about 6 months and we've been hanging out a bit.

One part of me wants to just do it, the other part of me starts thinking that maybe I shouldn't. Your input would be super!

How do we avoid kissing at our wedding reception?

ODiV — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 21:12:51 -0800

How do my wife and I avoid kissing at our wedding reception? We're really not big on the idea of kissing in public, especially with all eyes on us. How can we avoid kissing during the reception? It seems to be universally expected and people do that annoying glass clinking thing at EVERY wedding I've been to.

Working against us is that the reception is falling into a very standard format: dinner/speeches/dancing. I have a feeling that if we had a "different" all around wedding reception, we might be able to avoid the kissing thing entirely. For reference, we're in Canada.

I've been looking around online, but only really finding alternatives to the way in which our guests can prod us into kissing. Google strategies would be appreciated as well if no solid ideas come up.

Has anyone here pulled this off or been to a wedding that managed it?

We do plan on kissing for the ceremony, though. Still not sure about tongue.

Turkish men kissing?

kraigory — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 23:59:26 -0800

culturally normal for turkish college-age men to kiss before bed? I recently got a new college roomate, and he is from turkey. He has a friend here with him, also from turkey. The other night when his friend left our room, he gave my roomie a big kiss (probably on the cheek, i didn't see it real well 'cause i was behind them) goodnight. Is this a normal cultural thing, or could my roomate be homosexual? Note that he does have two luis vuitton bags, although I know that isn't really weird for men to be so stylish in most parts of europe.

So, if anyone familliar with turkish, or just general european culture and customs could enlighten me as to what's going on with my roomie and his friend, I would appreciate it. PLEASE NOTE that i'm not trying to discriminate or anything here, I wouldn't care if he was gay, but i'd just like to know.

Thanks!

Sloppy Kisses

Anonymous — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 12:49:10 -0800

Why am I a sloppy kisser? Every time I french kiss my girlfriend, I see her wiping her mouth as if I slobbered on her (Granted, I actually do feel like my kisses are a little too wet).

What gives? What am I doing wrong?

Help me! What can I do to fix my wet kisses? FYI: I don't remember experiencing this in the past with numerous ex-girlfriends/hookups.

How do I help my girlfriend know what she wants?

macsigler — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 23:00:02 -0800

How do I get my girlfriend to "know her own feelings" about me? Well it's kinda weird, I'm courting this one girl who I think is really great (I'm totally in love with her), and I think she really likes me too, but is just "unsure with herself." She's talked about having "personal walls" or something like that, and we've talked about it, and the more we spend time the closer we seem to get, and I've told her my feelings for her, that I love her very dearly, but she says she doesn't want to say it back if she's not sure of herself. I agree, but would sure like to help her know what it is she's feeling!
Also, lately I've just got this overwhelming sense that I just need to kiss her, but she's mentioned in the past that she's uncomfortable kissing people unless she's practically engaged. The only real advice I've gotten from others is, "Dude, get a new girl!" but I really, really adore her and don't think I could ever find another quite like her.
So is there anything I can do or am I just a hopelessly lost romantic guy? :P

First Pass/Kiss jitters

Cog — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 02:27:54 -0800

How do I get over my nervousness and just make a pass or just kiss the girl now I'm seeing? In my teens and 20's, I was a jerk. And truthfully, that was the persona that got me dates, first kisses and more. Now I'm in my early 30's and I've somehow mellowed out. I noticed this change with my previous GF and with the girl I'm now dating. Or might be dating...things are a little unclear.

She and I have mutual friends, and 50% of the time we're in a large group of friends ands 50% of the time it's just the 2 of us. Two of our friends tell me that I'd better absolutely, positively, show her that I want to date her before I get sent into the "Just Friends" category.

This time around it feels important for me to get things right. For lack of a better description, she and I seem to lose about 20 IQ points when we're together. We had a giggling fit in a restaurant because of something stupid that one of us did. Someone yelled at us to "get a room" and that caused another avalanche of laughter. We, also, didn't get a room...

Now that I'm older I feel oddly unprepared for the start of an adult relationship. Ok, I probably am. I've got one person telling me to just put my hand on her knee and other who says just go for the kiss when our heads are just a few inches apart. I think that 2 good opportunities to kiss her have gone by already. Somehow the idea doesn't form until that moment has just gone away.

So my question is what do I so she knows I want to date her? And how do I get rid this mental block that I seem to have?

Why did she laugh when I kissed her?

swiffa — Sat, 19 May 2007 01:36:21 -0800

Friend laughed when I kissed her cheek/ear what does it mean? I have this female friend who I am intrigued with since we get along so well especially being as she is as weird humored as i am..and that is so new to me. Also intelligent and beautiful. Been hanging out together for almost 6 months. Great vibes. Recently had a superb 8 hr day together that had more chemistry than usual. Body language etc all seemed to say "kiss me, make a move" but I chickened out. Our next scheduled get together didn't have as much vibe (she was exhausted) but I had determined not to let another visit go by without at least a kiss on the cheek goodnight (up to now only hugs) I did just that and she giggled/laughed and looked a little dazed blushed and smiling. No mention of it as I said bye. Haven't heard from her in 3 days(but that's not unusual). Going crazy trying to decipher what it all meant. Any insights? I'd be cool with whatever our relationship became or didn't.

Please don't kiss me unless I'm in love with you.

Elmo Oxygen — Sat, 19 May 2007 00:44:43 -0800

Why do some Americans do the hello/goodbye kiss thing? I understand that Europeans do it because that's how it's done in Europe. But why do some Americans do it?

It makes me feel uncomfortable. I never know when to expect it. And I generally don't want to kiss most people.

If someone goes for the hello/goodbye kiss, is the only proper response a kiss back? Or can you just hug them and pretend they didn't go for the kiss?

Why do women lift up their legs when kissing in the movies?

twine42 — Wed, 16 Jun 2004 04:15:37 -0800

MovieFilter? - When a film shows a couple kissing, she often lifts her left leg up to make a right angle at the knee. Why? Does anyone actually do this in real life? Part of me expects it originally had some kind of euphamistic purpose, but my limited googling skills tell me nothing. Thoughts?