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Kink is complicated

My partner accepts 90% of my, as Dan Savage puts it, "a fetish-too-far", which is pretty great, considering. We have discussed it at length, she'll never come the last 10%, and I understand that. Two issues, though... [more inside]
posted by hwyengr on May 28, 2014 - 19 answers

Timely queer and kink content for my facebook and twitter feed

I've just had an article published nationally, and oh boy is that addictive and fun! I want to do more, so I need ideas to pitch! I'm looking for some tweeters and some Facebook groups and posters to follow who will have awesome kink/womens'/sex-positive/sex-work/trans/lgbt/poly/etc news, criticism and analysis. Feminist and socialist feeds also a plus. Many thanks, hive mind!
posted by Mistress on Jan 21, 2014 - 8 answers

Bondage 101?

My SO and I are starting to explore our kink side and need help navigating the maze of bondage techniques. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2013 - 16 answers

Looking for some new male + female sex positions!

Looking for some new male + female sex positions! [more inside]
posted by Sloop John B on Mar 19, 2013 - 12 answers

Help me either leave my urban tribe, or accept my place in it

This past year I got involved in a local community of people. I have mixed feelings and am looking for your relevant experiences with close-knit urban tribes. [more inside]
posted by htid on Mar 6, 2013 - 23 answers

Online discussion forums for BDSM?

I'm looking for websites that have discussion-areas for people who are into BDSM. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2013 - 6 answers

And if you don't kink then you're no friend of mine.

I'm kinky, but only sometimes. He's kinky, all the time, and more so than me. He also displays a focus on certain specific sex acts that I find worrying and is interfering with our sex life - not the things we do, but the things it seems he has to do to come or be happy. How do we deal with this? What do these desires of his mean? And if I'm not into the things he has to do, does it mean he's not into me? (Insecurities abound) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 20, 2013 - 28 answers

How can I get paid to write and protect my privacy from clients?

I want to only share my identity with the tax man when I write, and allow people to pay me online. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 13, 2013 - 8 answers

Dealing with insecurity in the BDSM/poly life

BDSMfilter: Newbie male bottom + experienced poly top = insecurity vortex! Help! [more inside]
posted by RockPuppet on Oct 22, 2012 - 13 answers

Why would you want someone to say that to you?

Why are humiliation and/or degradation sexually exciting for some? [more inside]
posted by thrasher on Oct 10, 2012 - 18 answers

I want to be a normal person

I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm kinky, but I feel like my life is over and I wish I could just cut this out of me and get rid of it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2012 - 53 answers

Advice for someone new to crossdressing and D/s.

My husband just told me he's into crossdressing and wants to introduce D/s into our sex life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2012 - 15 answers

I'd totally run for International Ms Velvet. Or International Ms Fuzzy Fabric Of Any Sort.

How did leather, latex, and vinyl get to be the most popular and celebrated materials in the kink/BDSM world - as opposed to say velvet, silk, organza, lace, muslin? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Sep 25, 2012 - 24 answers

Kinky Puns Needed!!!!!

Kinky puns needed! [more inside]
posted by becomingly on Sep 12, 2012 - 12 answers

These sites have DD+ sections, where's the A- section?

Where can I find awesome sexy lingerie for an IBTC member? Kinda NSFW, I guess. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 25, 2012 - 12 answers

How to deal with this mismatched kink?

He's into being dominated; I'm not into dominating. He wants to visit a dominatrix; I'm terrified about what it might do to our relationship, but also worried about our sans-dominatrix relationship more generally. Help? [more inside]
posted by sock puppety puppet on Jun 22, 2012 - 26 answers

Safety First: The casual sex version

What are your safety tips for casual sexual encounters? (Probably NSFW text inside) [more inside]
posted by KinkySockPuppet on Jun 13, 2012 - 14 answers

Is there a place for me and my sexuality?

Middle-aged, relatively inexperienced and kinky in the "wrong" way. Should I just give up hope? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 8, 2012 - 25 answers

Electric Boogaloo

Last fall, I asked you guys for some help with my OkCupid profile. Your advice worked really well for me! I've changed a fair bit since then and now that I'm getting back into dating full-time I'm going back for round 2 with the hive mind. [more inside]
posted by modernserf on May 2, 2012 - 18 answers

OMG your braid makes me so horny. (note: not really)

Help me understand the psychology of a sexual fetish. Most of the time I have no problem at all indulging my boyfriend's fetish and actually enjoy it myself. Occasionally it makes me feel insecure and shitty, which ruins it for him. How to deal? [more inside]
posted by thrasher on Apr 13, 2012 - 36 answers

Yes, I Smiled, But I'm Still Not Choosing 'Pets and Animals'...

Footwear vs fashion vs kink: organic/edible shoe polishes and treatments, or home-made alternatives? [more inside]
posted by rokusan on Apr 11, 2012 - 6 answers

Should I try harder to talk myself out of marriage?

Even though logically I don't feel like he's "marriage material," I am overwhelmed lately with a desire to be married to him. Which way should I be going on this? [more inside]
posted by thrasher on Dec 15, 2011 - 28 answers

Kinky and anonymous?

Getting started in the local kinky / Fetlife community - with a real-life reputation to keep completely disconnected. How to do it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 24, 2011 - 20 answers

How do I deal with my boyfriend's secret?

I have accidentally discovered my boyfriend's secret fetish. He is ashamed and upset. I'm terrified of losing him. Please help me navigate this. (Some details NSFW.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 19, 2011 - 47 answers

Too weird for OKCupid, not weird enough for Fetlife

Need help with OKCupid. Difficulty: I'm creepy [more inside]
posted by modernserf on Sep 28, 2011 - 34 answers

Kink resources for my therapist?

My therapist is not kink-aware, but she'd like to be. Can you point me to some good reading materials for her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 18, 2011 - 10 answers

Please Sir, may I have some more?

Kink-filter: How can I initiate sex while maintaining my submissive role in the bedroom? NSFW D/s details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 30, 2011 - 16 answers

BDSM and chronic pain

Pain you choose + pain you don't choose. Who is writing (either on the web or in print) about intersections of BDSM and chronic pain/illness? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 14, 2011 - 6 answers

Help me get tied up in SF!

I'd like to get tied up somewhere in or around SF either tomorow or Monday. This needn't be a sexual encounter, but it need be professional and discreet. [more inside]
posted by 17564 on Feb 12, 2011 - 4 answers

What to wear to a kink con?

I'm attending a weekend-long alt-sex/kink convention. What clothing should I pack? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2011 - 10 answers

I'm freaking out, the operative word being freak

I am a woman. I enjoy anal sex. This makes me feel like a freak. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2011 - 42 answers

Arouse me while I hack, please.

Can you recommend some sexy, titillating, frank, and intelligent sex-related podcasts? Maybe with a kinky bent, even. Queer-friendly a must. [more inside]
posted by Netzapper on Dec 30, 2010 - 10 answers

What do you give the girl who has everything?

I have just been seduced by a relatively older, more experienced, kinky woman who's keen to show me the darker side of pleasure. I'm a relatively inexperienced younger woman. What could I do so that *she* gets some fun out of it too? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2010 - 18 answers

Nuns having fun

Help me put together a Kinky Catholic themed Halloween party. [more inside]
posted by dchrssyr on Oct 18, 2010 - 10 answers

What if she won't ever do what I need to do?

My fiance has basically told me, that she will NEVER/practically never be willing to do my personal fetishes with me..... I don't know what to do about that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2010 - 89 answers

Yeah, I'm kinky... is that a problem?

Should I come out of the BDSM closet? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 2, 2010 - 13 answers

Can we skip the flogging tonight, dear? I have to wash the drapes.

My hubby's kinky. I'm not. Please help us figure out a fair way to compromise in the bedroom. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 23, 2010 - 46 answers

What does a lifestyle submissive need to know?

I'm curious about becoming a lifestyle sub. What do I need to know before I go? (Possibly NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2010 - 8 answers

Looking for info on how to venture into San Francisco BDSM community

I am a woman in my mid-20's who has had some kink experience in a previous relationship but now wants to explore it a little on my own. I am moving to SF soon so now is as good a time as any to try. I am both fascinated by and intimidated by it all, and would like to know some general information, advice, and suggestions on directions I could try to check things out slowly and discretely. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2010 - 12 answers

How can I learn to be more dominant in bed?

How can I learn to be more dominant in bed? (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 20, 2010 - 18 answers

Biting, spanking, and loving it more

Sources of info and advice on being the submissive of a BDSM relationship? (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2010 - 9 answers

How to find lovers who are into bdsm but not in the scene?

BDSMFilter: How can I find non-monogamous kinky lovers out here in the vanilla world? I've gone to munches and classes at TES (a bdsm organization here in NYC) and other bdsm groups, but I never meet people there with whom I can connect on other levels. Is there a trick to finding kinky folk in vanilla settings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 1, 2010 - 16 answers

Is three months too early to ban your girlfriend from ever wearing flip flops again?

Resources for lady new to foot fetishism? Many details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 8, 2010 - 10 answers

Is there a Rough Guide to rough sex?

She’s keen on the rough stuff – I’m new to it [NSFW] [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2010 - 36 answers

Wannabe Third (and general KinkFilter)

As part of my New Year's Self-Improvement Program (tm), I'm seeking out a few sexual experiences I haven't had but would like. In particular, I'd like to be the third in a heterosexual couple's threesome. I'm a mostly-straight man in San Francisco. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2010 - 8 answers

Woman looking for ways to play on my own.

Please help a single, adventurous woman step up her kink in simple, everyday ways. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2010 - 18 answers

Catsuit: how/where to buy?

Catsuit: how/where to buy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 28, 2009 - 15 answers

Is it safe/practical/advisable to spank someone who's wearing a butt plug?

Kinky folks: is it safe/practical/advisable to spank someone who's wearing a butt plug? What should I keep in mind while doing it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 6, 2009 - 12 answers

Chasing down some hot European sex

American male/female swinger couple stranded in London next month. Where's the best fun? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 25, 2009 - 2 answers

day to day workings of a commercial dungeon

Kink day-by-day? Where can I read about the workings of a commercial dungeon? I'm very familiar with recreational kink (where no money is exchanged) -- what I want to learn about are the practical daily workings of a high-end dungeon where men are paying for sessions with female mistresses. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 21, 2008 - 3 answers

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