Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with jesus

Did Jesus travel to India?

mortaddams — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 10:12:47 -0800

I have heard a rumor that some people believe that Jesus traveled to India and learned Buddhist ideas. The theory is that perhaps this occurred during Jesus' early adulthood, before he started preaching during his 30s. But I am a bit skeptical. Do you know where this idea comes from? Do you think it is probable? Are there books or movies that I should watch about this theory? Any insight would be most appreciated.

Upgrade my expletives!

Archibald Edmund Binns — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 11:43:05 -0800

What do the classiest people you know say when they stub their toe, get cut off in traffic, or otherwise need a short noise more important for it's sound than it's meaning? I'm looking for a nice little kit of words to try to get in the habit of using.
Here's what I currently use:

Mild Frustration (it's very cold outside): 'Fuck', 'Christ', 'Balls'.
Intense frustration (minor car accident): 'Jesus Christ', 'Holy Fuck',
Pleasant affirmation (someone tells me they can come to the bar tonight): 'Cool Beans', 'Cool Cool', 'Magnificent', 'Golden'.

I'm not at all interested in long clever things. I really want phrases that roll off the tongue with all the satisfaction of an emphatic 'God Dammit' that are unusual enough to be interesting but not so unusual that they are distracting. I'd prefer non-religious and non-vulgar cusses that I can use in all sorts of company (from peers to grandparents to toddlers).

Kinky Friedman's Plastic Jesus

nathanrudy — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 19:01:09 -0800

I want to find Kinky Friedman's version of Plastic Jesus on my Dashboard. Don't care what format, just want to get it. Anyone know where I can get it?

Oh my lord I love this song; help me find it again!

ocherdraco — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 19:40:40 -0800

I just heard the most amazing song on a streaming radio station from France! The song was in English, but there was no identification, and googling the bits of lyrics I could understand got me nowhere. Can you help me figure it out? Lyrics bits: "J-E-S-U-S," various bits about loving your neighbor, "we needn't specify" (that, along with spelling out J-E-S-U-S, seemed to be the refrain), something about a recipe that involved chocolate. That's all I've got. The male singer had a very distinctive warbly voice that distorted the words so much that at first I didn't realize it was English, and there were other folks in the background (including one guy who shouted "Praise the Lord" at the end). The song was very upbeat and had lots of horns (yay! I love horns!). I heard it on FIP. I could not figure out how to find a playlist on their site; if you can, that would be helpful. (I'm listening via the link on their main page that says "Ecoutez le direct".)

Despite all the Jesus references, it did not strike me as a religious song, but rather a song referencing religious tropes in a non-religious way.

It is an incredible song and using my AskMe question for this is totally worth it.

Robot Jesus of the future

Gargantuantoe — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 09:00:44 -0800

Looking for a short story I read 2 or 3 years ago about a robot who worked in a church, and started reading scripture, and was eventually killed by the townspeople because of it. I read this story online maybe 2 or 3 years ago. It was about a robot who worked as a janitor, I think, in a church. It started asking a lot of religious questions, and reading scripture.

I don't remember the middle of the story at all, but the robot is eventually destroyed by the townspeople and when the priest comes in the next morning he finds the robot in front of a message scratched into the floor, " Forgive them father, they know not what they do" Or something very similar.

So yeah, Robot Jesus Sci-fi Short story. Any ideas?

Murder

Kilovolt — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 21:55:01 -0800

What is the definition of murder? If the state puts you to death is it murder? Was Jesus murdered?

Is the name Jesus popular in languages beside Spanish?

ivan.santiesteban — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 11:10:18 -0800

Is the name Jesus popular in other languages besides Spanish?

What songs are about people losing lovers to Jesus?

Kattullus — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 07:30:17 -0800

My favorite album so far this year has been Emmy the Great's Virtue. Partly it's because of the thematic throughline in the lyrics, which is 'my lover left me for Jesus.' What are other songs with that theme? Also acceptable: My lover left me for Buddha/Xenu/Mohammed/Meher Baba/Aphrodite/Krishna/etc. I'm not looking for songs from the perspective of the converted, but the one who lost a lover.

The devil and his puported powers

Greg Nog — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 09:29:04 -0800

In Luke 4:5 - 4:7, the devil shows Jesus all the kingdoms of the world, and says something to the effect of, "I will give you all their authority and splendor; it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. If you worship me, it will all be yours." Within the Christian tradition, is there a consensus about whether the devil was lying, or whether he actually had the power to grant this boon? Do different branches of Christianity have different answers to that question? I'm looking for the authoritative opinions of Christian leaders/philosophers/theologists here, not the opinions of individual Christians of metafilter.

J.C.'s Greatest Hits

EarBucket — Sat, 14 May 2011 16:52:25 -0800

What are the most memorable or significant stories about Jesus? I'm working on a play based on the gospels, and I'm trying to find out what stories about Jesus most stand out to people, and why. Excluding the nativity, crucifixion, and resurrection, which episodes of the story strike you as having special significance? I'm very much interested in the answers of both Christians and non-Christians.

Why was Jesus killed?

garlic — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 10:27:01 -0800

Why was Jesus of Nazarath (also called Jesus Christ) killed? What was going on in Roman occupied Jerusalem that lead up to his death? I know non-biblical historical sources are few and far between, but are there any other writings that dig into the history around this part of the bible stories?

What movie starts with Jesus killing himself disgustingly?

two or three cars parked under the stars — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 14:25:37 -0800

What blasphemous, disgusting black and white movie did MeFi possibly introduce me to a few years ago? I believe it opens with a rather over-long scene wherein somebody I remember to be Jesus stabs himself in the stomach over and over and over (a bunch of black pudding-y stuff comes out), until he dies. Then a lady comes up and masturbates his corpse, and uses the resulting sperm to impregnate herself. I think I stopped watching at that point, but the movie apparently goes on to her giving birth, and... some other stuff? I don't quite know. The film is black and white and very grainy.

I feel like this was posted to Metafilter a few years ago. It seems like the type of thing that would be readily googleable, but I haven't found it so far. I'm starting to fear I just dreamed it all up. Please, help.

Jesus on vaudeville: did it ever happen?

bingo — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 14:46:36 -0800

Was Jesus ever depicted in a vaudeville production? Looking for solid, reasonably non-speculative evidence.

Jesus vs. Bible?

Anonymous — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 17:54:04 -0800

Found Jesus. But the Bible pushes me away from Him. Now what? I've been on a spiritual quest for most of my life. Started out as a hardcore logical atheist/science guy. And it is beautiful, scientific knowledge. It is still intact in me. But a pain inside kept me looking further, into a different, complementary knowledge beyond logic (without negating my scientific background), into a different realm. So my path has led me through Jung, the unconscious, dreams, meditation, Buddhism, Zen, Taoism, shamanism, drugs, trance states, fasting, dancing, prayers, Santería, martial arts, psychoanalysis (15+ years). I've read the Bible, the Koran, Buddhist sutras, the Bhagavad Gita. The journey has been fruitful, I've changed. Much of the pain is gone. I had one transcendent vision of God. And now, years later, somehow I connected with Jesus, and i feel that again something has fundamentally changed.

He is great. I feel Him as a presence, serene, protective, friendly, good, non-judgemental, forgiving, accepting. I feel Him watching my back. For the first time I do not feel the need to control everything. I feel that yes, everything is going to be all right.

So naturally I turned to the Bible. Now I don't need literalism, my faith doesn't depend on the fact that the world was created literally in seven days or that gays are an abomination. I am capable of seeing God in evolution, in the beauty of DNA recombining itself. I am comfortable operating on a symbolic level.

But here's the problem: Even on a symbolic level, I have trouble accepting the Bible in my heart. There's hatred, literal hatred there. JHVH seems petty, vengeful. There's war and killing of neighbors and it's OK by JHVH. I see the Middle East and it disgusts me, the same tribal bullshit going on for thousands of years. The Bible doesn't soothe my pain. It's always about the enemies, the unjust and how they will be smitten. I don't have enemies, I don't care about the unjust, my pain is internal.

So, questions:

How do I further cultivate the presence of Jesus in my life?

Can there be Jesus beyond the Bible?

How to deal with different feelings toward Jesus and JHVH?

Thanks!

The Second Coming on my homepage??

Bromius — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 07:35:53 -0800

I turned on my computer this morning, opened my browser and was astounded to see that my iGoogle page is suddenly full of Christian widgets, from "Daily Prayer to Jesus" to "Book of Mormon - One Chapter a Day." I'm most definitely not a Christian. I'm kind of stunned. Even the theme has been changed to a Jesus theme. My old widgets are still there, just down at the bottom of the page.

The first thing I did was change my Google password, of course, but what I'd like to know is, has my account been hacked? Are there people out there breaking into other people's Google accounts and just putting Christian imagery on people's iGoogle pages? Has this ever happened to you? Additionally, password aside, is there something else I should be doing?

I'm on a MacBook Pro, running OS X 10.5.8, although I also access my Google account on my iPhone and iPad.

John the baptist baptized?

alextprice — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 19:01:52 -0800

Was John the baptist baptized? A friend of mine asked this question today and I wanted to clarify my google search with the good people of askmefi. It seems to me that the person who baptized Jesus Christ would have been baptized, but Jesus is well known for shying away from the norm and picking "common" people to do extraordinary things. Please can we keep this discussion to the historical and don't turn this into a religious debate.

Public Domain Jesus

EarBucket — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 13:37:11 -0800

Help me find vintage color Jesus art for my Tea Party Jesus blog, preferably pre-1923. I'm searching for public domain color images of Jesus. I need to find it in a scannable format for high resolution, so books, cards, and magazines are ideal. I'm willing to put a reasonable amount of money into this.

The best pictures conform to the classic "Sunday School Jesus" image, with a white robe and sash.

Any help from the hive mind would be fantastic--links to books for sale, scans from your own collection, or suggestions for places to look. Again, it needs to be stuff that's in the public domain.

Bonus copyright question: I love the pictures linked on this page from the Standard Bible Story Reader by Lillie A. Faris, but I'm having trouble finding out if the copyright was renewed on it, or if it was allowed to pass into the public domain. Any suggestions on how to find out for sure? I know I can pay to have a search done, but I don't have time to wait the four to six weeks it apparently takes. Any other options?

Bonus bonus question: This picture and lots more like it are in another online collection of supposedly public domain art, but I can't find any information on where it came from. Does anyone have any ideas to identify the book it's from?

"Don't make an idol of me..."

ZenMasterThis — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 19:51:42 -0800

"Don't make an idol of me..." Looking for specific biblical book, chapter and verse (if they exist) in which Jesus says something close to this.

Or did I just get it from a Mission of Burma song?

Thanks.

Antique Roadshow worthy or just old art?

ratita — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:18:22 -0800

Antiques Roadshow worthy or just overpriced old crap? I just purchased this lithograph (I think that's what it is) by Ed Gust May (I think that's a name, it's all in german and I don't speak it) It is 4 colors with accents of gold. It is a picture of the Sacred Heart, which is written in gothic font in german and in french and spanish set in a thin serif.

It called my attention first because my grandparents had two smaller prints like this one, although theirs was only 2 colors, it just brought some nostalgia to me. Then, looking up some information in these type of prints, I realized that it could be worth a bit more of what I paid for or could be worth nothing. I would like to know how can I get this to someone who may know more about it. Where and to whom do I take it?

I am really lost on this and I don't even know which period time this comes from. It seems to be from the early 1900s but I know they made these types of lithographs well into the 30s. Are they worth anything?

This print is approximately a 2x3.5 ft. and it is, in what appears to be, the original frame and backing. The frame is a bit damaged at the bottom, but the print seems to be in perfect condition, no tears or rips.

I'd be forever grateful if anyone has any tips or information about what should I do.

looking for italian church art.

titanium_geek — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:13:20 -0800

religious-art-filter: looking for a specific image of Christ rising from the grave. I saw it on a TV program and I'd like to see it again. From what I remember, it was like a "forgotten artwork" kind of program, and they visited a small Italian church to see it.

The artwork was in the format of a painting, except 3D. So it wasn't a statue, but like a rectangular 3D sculpture on the wall. It was in a white stone- maybe marble.

The subject was Jesus rising from the grave- not the standard shiny-light-everywhere walking out, but an earthy, muscular, kind of beat up Jesus climbing out, giving the viewer a piercing glare. I think his hair was kind of snaky. I don't recall angels.

The artist wasn't a really famous on like Michelangelo or Da Vinci, I don't think.

The program talked about the techniques the artist would have used, maybe the discovery of a prototype image (??) and a bit about their artistic life. While I would love to watch the program again, the art work is what I really want to see.

TV program: Australia, 2007(2006?) most probably over the Easter period, maybe ABC or SBS.

Art work: Italian church, renaissance (?) Does it exist on the internet? Google is failing me.

Thank you.

A mystery in the window of a pickup truck

longsleeves — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:20:49 -0800

What could be causing an image of Jesus to appear in this man's truck window? What sort of treatment or coating could cause an image to reccur like this handsome visage of Jesus is reported to?

What would Jesus wear on Halloween?

DMelanogaster — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 10:47:17 -0800

My teenaged son want to dress up as Jesus. He has the hair, but he wants a robe like Jesus wore. However, he doesn't want a crappy polyester costume-shop robe. Also both of us refuse to sew anything. So -- what would be a good Jesus-robe (or just any plausible Jesuswear. This would be daywear, not Jesus eveningwear) that we could buy, in a nice natural fabric? and we're in New York City so if you have specific suggestions for stores that would be even better.

Help me find a vibrant Protestant church in the Cleveland area. I'm between denominations.

debbie_ann — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 15:54:45 -0800

Help me find a vibrant Protestant church in the Cleveland area. I'm between denominations. I love the idea of going to church, but I've yet to find one where I feel comfortable coming week after week. Maybe you know the denomination I'm looking for.

I presently go to children's weekday Mass at a wonderful little Catholic church. I love it for the following reasons
+ The sermons are wonderful. We always learn about a Saint or a story about Jesus, and then the Priest helps us understand how to apply the lessons to daily life.
+ We all sing together. 100 school children, their teachers and many grandparents sing a simple song every week. Last year it was "we are made for service".
+ There is a fantastic sense of community. I know everyone. Everyone knows me. When we pass the peace, we mean it.
+ We all pray together.
+ I leave feeling refreshed and inspired to be a good person, with very clear directions about where a good person should head this week

However, I am not Catholic for all of the reasons that Protestants usually state. I'd like to find a church where I can take communion. I've tried the following... and had the following problems.
- Going to my parents Presbyterian church. It's mainly blue-hairs. I feel lonely during coffee hour. Everyone who talks to me pretty much just asks how old I am now, and tells me how much I've grown.
- Going to a Unitarian service. It seems to be more of a theological class than a worship service. We didn't pray.
- Going to a born again nondenominational church. We sang and prayed for a half hour, which was AWESOME..... but then the sermon would invariably be a half-hour pro-life rampage and during coffee hour teenagers would pass around petitions to overturn Roe vs. Wade.
- Going to a Non-denominational Contemporary church. Very vibrant, but the service lasted for hours. I had to leave because I was faint with hunger....and my ears rang all day from the excessive volume.
- Not going to Church for years. It leaves me with an emptiness... a yearning.
- Going to a Lutheran church. I felt bored and couldn't sit still.
- Going to a different Presbyterian Church. Great sermon.... but we're given about 5 seconds to 'privately confess our sins' before being forgiven. I find myself both too hurried to reflect, and bored after the sermon. Also, just a handful of adults under 40.

The issue is rather pressing because I'd like my son to have Sunday school experiences. I'd like to find a church (in or near Cleveland) with the following qualities, where I can settle down . . .
+ Young people. I'm in my late 20's and would like to be part of a community that includes a substantial number of adults under 50. Other families with kids would be great. People in their 20's and 30's would be awesome!
+ Protestant denomination
+ a sense of community
+ reasonable amounts of singing
+ prayer
+ sermons that teach about Jesus, God, the Bible and how to be a good person
+ vibrant worship (as opposed to the soul-stifling sound of an entire congregation boredly reciting 'Alleluia' and 'it is right to give thanks and praise in unison)

Can't believe I'm wasting my 1 weekly question on this, but...

newfers — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 18:53:19 -0800

Where can I buy THIS offensive Jesus light switch? I love this silly item, and my wife does as well (growing up Catholic warped us in far too many ways), so where can I possibly find one (or 10!) for sale?

Or En Aye Ay? What does this song mean?

crazyray — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 22:40:01 -0800

You may very well recognize this song. It is from this movie. What does it mean? Does the first stanza and/or chorus spell something? Please help! One website lists the lyrics as this:

Oh Ry In Eye Ay - Oh Ry In Eye Ay
Oh Ry In Ah Key Ooh Lay
Ka Lay Ooh Lau Ee - Oh Ry In Eye Ay
Sal You Te Lee Ay Vee Show

Midnight sunshine silent thunder
Sky as black as day
Only a dream away

Chorus

Waking while you're still deep sleeping
Finding you're not here
Watching a dream appear

Tumbling through a thousand centuries
You don't know where you'll land
It's so dark in mythology
Treasures of history to be found
Near the legends of time
All the handiworks remain there
Only a dream away

Chorus

Greedy feeling wheeling dealing
Losing what you won
See the dream come undone

Stumble you may with the elementary
Lucky you got so far
All you owe is apologies
Measure the mystery and astound
Without taking up time
So the handiworks remain there
Only a dream away

Chorus

In out, hot cold, up down, young old
What a lot to do
Sharing a dream with you

Chorus