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Users that often use this tag:
Anonymous (79)
Trexsock (2)
scaryblackdeath (2)

How can I manage my envy and feelings of inadequacy?

Last year, I attended a short artistic workshop that I found really valuable. This year, my girlfriend is attending a similar, but much longer and more prestigious workshop, and it's killing me. [more inside]
posted by Sock "Danger" Puppet on Jun 12, 2014 - 36 answers

Yeah, so the real reason I didn't come to your party....

Do I tell a good friend that I've been avoiding him because my husband's jealous of the friendship? Gory details and backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by Gwendoline Mary on Jun 8, 2014 - 26 answers

How to deal with sexual jealousy in a relationship?

My boyfriend sometimes expresses sexual attraction to other girls when he's with me and I'm wondering if a) his actions are reasonable, b) my reaction to this is reasonable or c) if there are underlying issues behind this that need to be addressed. [more inside]
posted by sweetshine on Jun 2, 2014 - 72 answers

Roommate Troubles: Should I bother keeping in touch.

I've made my roommate's life kinda shit the entire school year. Should I just get out of her life, or try to keep in touch in case I become a better person? [more inside]
posted by bluekazoo on May 12, 2014 - 14 answers

Such a tough space. Please give me some hope.

Please help me to stop comparing my relationship to others. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 8, 2014 - 32 answers

How to get over the petty stuff to maintain a healthy relationship

The relationship is great and we both see a future together, but at times I tend to focus on insignificant things or feel insecure for no rational reason. I want to prevent unnecessary conflicts arising from these feelings. [more inside]
posted by monologish on Apr 24, 2014 - 21 answers

Anxious jealous insecure EEEEEEEJASFADF​JKLSAJKFLSDJ!!

What are some things I can do to 'work on' my anxiety? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Apr 14, 2014 - 20 answers

I accidentally "took" my friends job.

My good friend and I applied and were interviewed for the same job at a prestigious organization in our field. I got the job. She didn't. I start Monday. My friend is really mad at me. I haven't felt this awkward and upset about something good happening to me since high school senior year awards night. HELP. [more inside]
posted by SkylitDrawl on Mar 25, 2014 - 67 answers

We Can't All Be Special Snowflakes

I'm a musician and sometimes when I see or hear other artists who are doing cool, innovative things that are somewhat similar to what I'm doing, I feel irritated or threatened, like my work is less important or less unique now, and it makes me bitter or less inclined to continue working on my own stuff. I hate that I feel so petty and competitive instead of just being happy for the success of others. I really just need to get over myself and stop being a butthead, but I don't know how to deal with these feelings. I was hoping the HiveMind could give me some words of wisdom.
posted by chara on Mar 19, 2014 - 16 answers

Insecurity over partner's ex-boyfriend who dumped her

I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year, and we are really in love. A few months into the relationship I discovered some diaries etc of her, which I know I should never have read, but did. I discovered how obsessed she was for years about an ex that dumped her and who she idealised, and now I really need some help to get out of this rut of insecurity and jealousy which I have created for myself. [more inside]
posted by lichen on Mar 6, 2014 - 32 answers

Beating Mean Girls At Their Own Game, With Grace

How do you tactfully put a mean girl in her place without stooping to her level? Especially when she's your own cousin. [more inside]
posted by OneHermit on Feb 1, 2014 - 55 answers

How do I stop comparing myself to others?

When looking at other women, particularly strangers out in public, I often objectify them. I know I haven't always done this and I want it to stop. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2014 - 16 answers

Help me get rid of my 'idea possessiveness'

I have a tendency to be protective or possessive over what I consider to be (but isn't at all) my personal intellectual property. I would like to figure out ways to get rid of this feeling. Examples inside. [more inside]
posted by ladybird on Dec 28, 2013 - 25 answers

How many fond fools serve mad jealousy? At least one that I know of...

My amazing man-friend is doing nothing wrong...so why am I so damned insecure? Help me slay my terrible and persistent case of green-eyed monsteritis! [more inside]
posted by Dorinda on Nov 4, 2013 - 22 answers

How do I stop being so paranoid in my relationship?

Damaged by a previous infidelity, I find it hard not to read every ordinary, innocent thing as a Sign. It's hurting an otherwise loving relationship with a wonderful woman, and I hate being this way and feel I am committing my own kind of betrayal. Looking for advice on strategies to stop, deflect, lessen. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 30, 2013 - 32 answers

What is this I feel?

Please describe to me what jealousy is. What is the difference between the feeling of jealousy and the feeling of injustice. I am accused of being jealous, I am not sure that is what I am, If I am indeed jealous, I want to correct it. Help. Oh, I'm in my mid-40s, not a kid so I need a more clinical description.
posted by Yellow on Oct 9, 2013 - 37 answers

Green, green, my heart is green...

What causes the weird possessiveness/jealousy experienced by many people when you fall in love? [more inside]
posted by Phalene on Oct 3, 2013 - 18 answers

How to deal with probably unwarranted jealousy

Been dating my SO for about 6 months. Recently I've noticed them contacting an old friend more often. I'm feeling jealous, and kind of think I'm crazy for feeling that way, but I can't shake it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2013 - 11 answers

Baa baa scapegoat boyfriend

I have a lot of crap going on in my life to be frustrated and angry about, but for some reason I keep focusing it all on my totally blameless boyfriend. How do I stop this madness? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 18, 2013 - 5 answers

Can a relationship bounce back from a bad period like ours?

My boyfriend and I are currently at a low point in our relationship. I have been irrationally jealous and as a result we have fought every week for the past month. He seems to be very ok with me the day after our fights but I can see how he would want out. Should we keep trying? [more inside]
posted by 01080591 on Aug 13, 2013 - 29 answers

Did I fuck up? How shall I do it differently next time?

I'm in the post break-up re-evaluation phase ('bargaining' phase in the grieving process?). I veer between feeling I tried my best while also holding onto ways I could have done things differently while dealing with our core problem to feeling that I fucked up majorly and just lost a potentially fantastic life-partner. While par for course this state of affairs is I believe, this is really eating me and I would be grateful for some perspective. [more inside]
posted by drummergirl80 on Aug 12, 2013 - 17 answers

How to curb career-related jealousy in a relationship?

My boyfriend (of 8 months) and I work in the same industry, but have different aspirations and skillsets. We more or less started "on the same level," but he's shooting quickly up the ladder since getting a promotion and I'm stuck in an awful rut at my current company. How do I cope with this? [more inside]
posted by themaskedwonder on Aug 2, 2013 - 8 answers

Trying not to be a hater.

How do I not get mad (or how do I get mad in a more productive way) when people who do what I do only not as well receive more attention? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 13, 2013 - 36 answers

NOT the Maid of Honor disappointment--swallow or confess

This seems petty, but I am sincerely and exorbitantly bummed out (with some jealousy and hurt feelings to boot) that MY best friend didn't choose me to be her maid of honor. I'm clearly the next-in-line bridesmaid, but I haven't as of yet achieved many positive feelings about the honor I've received, but would like to, and as quickly as possible. [more inside]
posted by lovingkindness on May 13, 2013 - 54 answers

How do we deal with adults acting like teenagers?

How to deal with a snowball of special snowflake drama from supposed friends and set clear boundaries when they are being clearly unreasonable. [more inside]
posted by Trexsock on May 6, 2013 - 23 answers

Writers, how do you cope with being jealous of other writers?

Folks I know get published! Yay them! Go them! But shamefully, it.. the ...the flames, flames...on the side of my face...breathing...heaving breaths. How do I tame my inner envy monster? [more inside]
posted by angrycat on May 2, 2013 - 24 answers

So very jealous.

How do I deal with this jealousy? [more inside]
posted by Trexsock on Apr 26, 2013 - 13 answers

Dealing with a lack of jealousy

I seem to have a near-total lack of romantic jealousy. It's not that I've never experienced jealousy or can't relate to it, just that my dial seems to be turned down unusually low. This can be disruptive to dating and relationships, and I need some advice on how to deal with it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2013 - 27 answers

How do you deal with jealousy of your spouse/partner?

My partner and I are currently at rather different points in our careers. I have struggled for years to make a living out of freelancing in one area. I'm told I'm good at it but have never made it into a company that can offer me long term work, career development or support. My partner has a stable job in a multinational company and has just been offered and started training in my area, with a probable supported move into my area in the next couple of years. I am not dealing with this very well. Have you dealt with something similar, can you offer advice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 12, 2013 - 23 answers

I don't want to be the jealous girl.

How do you dust yourself off and carry on after shy and awkward days? And how can I stop fixating on, comparing myself to, and feeling envious of a social, extroverted classmate? [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Mar 20, 2013 - 28 answers

Am I a bad person trying to control my partner?

Am I a terrible person? My partner and I have been dating for 3.5 years, living together for one. In that time, he's cut off contact with two of his friends who were also significant exes. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2013 - 38 answers

Am I wrong for getting a bad feeling about my boyfriend's dating coach?

Started dating a great guy, he became my boyfriend probably a month and a half ago. A few weeks into the relationship we were talking and it turns out that he has a "dating coach" and he still meets with her in weekly phone calls because he enjoys her advice. This rubbed the wrong way and googling her, I found she's also totally hot. It just creeps me out that this totally hot woman has so much impact on my boyfriend's life. [more inside]
posted by ponytime on Feb 2, 2013 - 51 answers

Friends, money and jealousy.

I have a few new couple acquaintances that are on their way to becoming friends. Here's the trouble. As I get to know them more, i realize that there is a common thread about most of them. They are all quite pre-occupied with "how do i make more money" in life. [more inside]
posted by gadget_gal on Jan 27, 2013 - 11 answers

Friend has a new boyfriend - am I overreacting? Am I too jealous?

I am jealous of the fact that my good friend is hardly around because she's got a new boyfriend. Very happy for her, but am very uncomfortable with my jealousy. Need some perspective and help dealing. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 15, 2013 - 22 answers

Kindle self-help book recommendations

Looking for recommendations of effective books/workbooks/web resources on emotional intelligence, abandonment issues, anger, fear, jealousy, trust issues and self-compassion. Bonus points for including all of the above and being available on Kindle. [more inside]
posted by f3l1x on Dec 30, 2012 - 6 answers

How to deal with jealousy in a productive manner

How to deal with jealousy in a productive manner? My boyfriend seems to like spending time out drinking with his friends more than he likes spending time with me. Wondering whether it's all in my head. [more inside]
posted by sock puppetron on wheels on Dec 28, 2012 - 57 answers

Jealous, Possessive FWB

My FWB is Jekyll and Hyde, acting like a jealous boyfriend, then rationalizing it. When I try to talk to him about it he goes into denial. Help? [more inside]
posted by sucky_poppet on Dec 14, 2012 - 31 answers

Three cats, two sisters and one stray, one new home: questions about best practice

Mr Mutant & I are moving home soon, decamping to a larger home in the suburbs. We have what appears to us to be a complicated cat family strategy and need advice as follows. [more inside]
posted by Mrs Mutant on Dec 8, 2012 - 12 answers

Need non-therapy therapies.

I need therapy for really bad and unwarranted relationship jealousy and insecurity but I wouldn't be able to get started until sometime late January. What would be some alternatives I could pursue in the meantime? [more inside]
posted by TheManChild2000 on Nov 30, 2012 - 13 answers

Jealousy from the other side.

How to deal with jealousy from other men in my open relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 28, 2012 - 17 answers

I have a new friend, she has a giant Despair Squid.

"Emotional affairs" and being a good partner to someone with severe depression: I need a friend, but this new friendship is moving fast and I'm about 99% sure that my partner will be massively upset if she finds out. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2012 - 23 answers

Dealing with insecurity in the BDSM/poly life

BDSMfilter: Newbie male bottom + experienced poly top = insecurity vortex! Help! [more inside]
posted by RockPuppet on Oct 22, 2012 - 13 answers

You're Too Sexy for This Party. GTFO.

Ladies: have you ever been targeted/harassed/insulted by others, particularly women, for being too sexy or attractive? Have you witnessed such a thing? Naive as I feel for asking this... does that sort of thing actually happen in the real world and not just on TV? More inside, forgive me if I'm being horribly inarticulate... [more inside]
posted by scaryblackdeath on Sep 6, 2012 - 75 answers

Why am I jealous of everyone else's drama?

I have a happy, stable, and supportive marriage. Why am I jealous of everyone else's relationship drama and general craziness/fun? [more inside]
posted by A Special Kind of Weird on Sep 2, 2012 - 24 answers

why aren't porn stars enough?

I need some intelligent perspectives on why I am so sensitive to my husband looking at women on facebook, and whether this is an issue that can't be solved. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 3, 2012 - 29 answers

'cause i'm mr brightside

I like my friend but it's not mutual and I'm still working on getting over it. Recently she picked up someone at a club while I was getting us drinks, and I'm burning up with jealousy. How to deal? [more inside]
posted by swimmingly on Jun 19, 2012 - 32 answers

Do I let my wife's baseless jealousy interfere with my career?

Setting: My wife is (IMO irrationally) jealous, and thinks that a co-worker of mine likes me. There is nothing there, and I have told her she is worrying needlessly, but she is still suspicious. Complication: A position recently came up at work, in an area I prefer over my current job and with better job security. BUT, this co-worker is on the team. Resolution: ??? [more inside]
posted by Arandia on Jun 14, 2012 - 67 answers

How to preserve my friendship with an ex now that I'm involved with a new person?

We dated for quite a while, but it didn't work out and we've ended up as good friends. But now I'm entering a serious relationship for the first time since it ended, and the shift in my attention seems to be rattling her. How can I handle this gracefully? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2012 - 39 answers

How do I get over jealousy in a relationship?

I can't trust my girlfriend. I haven't been able to trust past girlfriends. Help? (snowflake details ahead) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 11, 2012 - 27 answers

How do I relax and just get laid, rather than obsessing over it?

I want to have more sex, but I don't want to get hung up about it. How do I stop obsessing about (not) getting any? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2012 - 17 answers

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