178 posts tagged with jealousy.
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Fictional depictions of jealousy

Looking for examples of songs/films/books/tv - anything really - which depict or explore jealousy - in particular retroactive jealousy, or relationships haunted by the ghost of someone from the past. [more inside]
posted by Nilehorse on Jun 15, 2016 - 39 answers

How to deal with professional and private jealousy?

I'm struggling with recurring jealousy. I wake up anxious, dwelling in it for a while before I leave the bed. Saps me of my energy. I see acquaintances and friends around me climbing great heights, winning awards, traveling the world, and I feel I am trapped and have lost and havent accomplished anything and I won't amount to much and I'm already 33. This has been happening for quite a few years now, this intense burning in the pit of my stomach, and subsequent depression. Is there a way without medicating myself that I can deal with this? How to deal with professional jealousy? Private jealousy?
posted by anonymous on May 11, 2016 - 23 answers

How can I deal better with my husband eyeing other women?

My spouse sometimes eyes other women, almost always the same "type." I find this absolutely gutting, especially since I don't fit that type. How can I deal with it better? Snowflakes below the fold. [more inside]
posted by pocksuppetteer on Mar 7, 2016 - 43 answers

Like, fifty green-eyed monsters.

My fiance just helped my--to be as melodramatic as possible about it--archnemesis into the same elite career/institution he's in, so that now I have not one, but two people to pathetically peer at, looking in with my nose pressed to the glass. He also had a thing for her before we started dating (and during). I'm freaked out and bitter. Help me figure out how not to be a huge evil baby while I taste the many acrid flavors of the jealousy rainbow. [more inside]
posted by bugperson on Feb 26, 2016 - 131 answers

Dealing with childish jealousy when you're an adult.

Is it normal for me to feel jealous of other people's lives? [more inside]
posted by MeaninglessMisfortune on Feb 23, 2016 - 38 answers

Ok to still be friends with someone you have slept with in the past?

Say you're in a committed monogamous relationship. Your partner has a friend with whom they once had a one-night-stand, which was a singular event at the start of the friendship. This friend is close with your partner, and they discuss personal things like sex, and talk regularly. Is this ok, or not? Snowflakes within. [more inside]
posted by mymbleth on Jan 23, 2016 - 46 answers

GF's ex-fling offered her a job (and he's the boss)

Before we met, they had a thing. He's offered her a (admittedly amazing) job, but I'm freaking out because she'll report to him. How do I deal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 12, 2015 - 48 answers

How to find a balance with a (maybe?) flirty partner?

My husband and I have different boundaries when it comes to what we consider to be 'kind of cheating' behaviour and I'm struggling to deal with it. My current plan is based on a tit-for-tat approach, but that seems pretty childish. What is a better way to deal with this without becoming a crazy jealousy monster? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2015 - 33 answers

How to handle a jealous partner?

Need help in reassuring/dealing with a rather jealous boyfriend. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Aug 25, 2015 - 80 answers

Why can't I just be happy for her?

How do you control jealousy when someone you love is doing very well and your life is just average? [more inside]
posted by ADent on Aug 24, 2015 - 22 answers

Strategies to overcome insecurity/jealousy of husband's female friend?

In the past several months, my husband has become close with one of my female friends, and they have started spending a lot of time together and texting each other almost daily. I'm uncomfortable with this, but I know this is my own issue to overcome because I trust them both and am 100% confident nothing questionable is happening between them. [more inside]
posted by Librarypt on Apr 21, 2015 - 95 answers

I am jealous of my friend.

I am very jealous of a friend I've known for ten years. Mostly, it seems like he has an easy and fun life, and he doesn't have to deal with the problems that keep me down (like chronic health worries). I also feel like he takes a lot of his privileges for granted; he doesn't understand why I don't just travel internationally all summer. Plus I think he can be a bit spoiled; I've seen him pout when one thing goes wrong out of dozens that go really great. My trouble right now is that all of the stuff I just mentioned makes it hard for me to talk to him and/or remember the things I like about him. I want to be able to put the jealousy and resentment aside and just be friends. I know I mostly need to keep working on my own self-confidence and enriching my own life. That said, what do you think the best ways are to navigate this friendship right now in terms of how I interact with him?
posted by anonymous on Apr 19, 2015 - 18 answers

Had an anxiety attack in front of a girl I like who's just a friend

How do you come back from an emasculating, embarrassing event where you most likely weirded out a friend, particularly a friend you have feelings for? Should I just not look back and run, because that's how I'm feeling right now... it's fight or flight, and I'm not showing up to a smackdown. [long] [more inside]
posted by ggp88 on Apr 15, 2015 - 39 answers

Same-field-friends, sensitive to each other's success or lack thereof...

Today I had to take a "break" from a long-time friendship because my friend's announcements (directly to me) of her career successes has been making me feel pretty bad about myself. I feel like I did the best thing for now, but would like other people's opinion on my situation. [more inside]
posted by Sa Dec on Apr 15, 2015 - 29 answers

Jealous? Moi? No way!

I recently met someone online and although we have not yet met, I'm feeling jealous because they asked to me wait while they finished off some side business. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 23, 2015 - 33 answers

Partytime! Death threats!

Asking for a friend: How seriously to take a jealous ex-boyfriend's drunken threats of violence when you're the new guy? [more inside]
posted by elken on Dec 15, 2014 - 26 answers

Getting over irrational jealousy/inferiority complex of other lady

My excellent partner was once in love for years with a lovely lady and dear friend of his who is gorgeous, elegant, accomplished, well known and admired in her line of work. It's in the past but it bothers me. This is my issue alone. Help me get past my feelings. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 11, 2014 - 18 answers

How do I stop panicking about being overtaken and finish a PhD?

I'm in the final couple of months before submitting my dissertation, writing up frantically, and have just found out that someone I know has switched topics to my topic and actually submitted their dissertation. How do I cope with this and get on with my work? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by Aravis76 on Jul 30, 2014 - 16 answers

How can I manage my envy and feelings of inadequacy?

Last year, I attended a short artistic workshop that I found really valuable. This year, my girlfriend is attending a similar, but much longer and more prestigious workshop, and it's killing me. [more inside]
posted by Sock "Danger" Puppet on Jun 12, 2014 - 36 answers

Yeah, so the real reason I didn't come to your party....

Do I tell a good friend that I've been avoiding him because my husband's jealous of the friendship? Gory details and backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by Gwendoline Mary on Jun 8, 2014 - 26 answers

How to deal with sexual jealousy in a relationship?

My boyfriend sometimes expresses sexual attraction to other girls when he's with me and I'm wondering if a) his actions are reasonable, b) my reaction to this is reasonable or c) if there are underlying issues behind this that need to be addressed. [more inside]
posted by sweetshine on Jun 2, 2014 - 72 answers

Roommate Troubles: Should I bother keeping in touch.

I've made my roommate's life kinda shit the entire school year. Should I just get out of her life, or try to keep in touch in case I become a better person? [more inside]
posted by bluekazoo on May 12, 2014 - 14 answers

Such a tough space. Please give me some hope.

Please help me to stop comparing my relationship to others. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 8, 2014 - 32 answers

How to get over the petty stuff to maintain a healthy relationship

The relationship is great and we both see a future together, but at times I tend to focus on insignificant things or feel insecure for no rational reason. I want to prevent unnecessary conflicts arising from these feelings. [more inside]
posted by monologish on Apr 24, 2014 - 21 answers

Anxious jealous insecure EEEEEEEJASFADF​JKLSAJKFLSDJ!!

What are some things I can do to 'work on' my anxiety? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Apr 14, 2014 - 20 answers

I accidentally "took" my friends job.

My good friend and I applied and were interviewed for the same job at a prestigious organization in our field. I got the job. She didn't. I start Monday. My friend is really mad at me. I haven't felt this awkward and upset about something good happening to me since high school senior year awards night. HELP. [more inside]
posted by SkylitDrawl on Mar 25, 2014 - 67 answers

We Can't All Be Special Snowflakes

I'm a musician and sometimes when I see or hear other artists who are doing cool, innovative things that are somewhat similar to what I'm doing, I feel irritated or threatened, like my work is less important or less unique now, and it makes me bitter or less inclined to continue working on my own stuff. I hate that I feel so petty and competitive instead of just being happy for the success of others. I really just need to get over myself and stop being a butthead, but I don't know how to deal with these feelings. I was hoping the HiveMind could give me some words of wisdom.
posted by chara on Mar 19, 2014 - 16 answers

Insecurity over partner's ex-boyfriend who dumped her

I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year, and we are really in love. A few months into the relationship I discovered some diaries etc of her, which I know I should never have read, but did. I discovered how obsessed she was for years about an ex that dumped her and who she idealised, and now I really need some help to get out of this rut of insecurity and jealousy which I have created for myself. [more inside]
posted by lichen on Mar 6, 2014 - 32 answers

Beating Mean Girls At Their Own Game, With Grace

How do you tactfully put a mean girl in her place without stooping to her level? Especially when she's your own cousin. [more inside]
posted by OneHermit on Feb 1, 2014 - 55 answers

How do I stop comparing myself to others?

When looking at other women, particularly strangers out in public, I often objectify them. I know I haven't always done this and I want it to stop. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2014 - 16 answers

Help me get rid of my 'idea possessiveness'

I have a tendency to be protective or possessive over what I consider to be (but isn't at all) my personal intellectual property. I would like to figure out ways to get rid of this feeling. Examples inside. [more inside]
posted by ladybird on Dec 28, 2013 - 25 answers

How many fond fools serve mad jealousy? At least one that I know of...

My amazing man-friend is doing nothing wrong...so why am I so damned insecure? Help me slay my terrible and persistent case of green-eyed monsteritis! [more inside]
posted by Dorinda on Nov 4, 2013 - 22 answers

How do I stop being so paranoid in my relationship?

Damaged by a previous infidelity, I find it hard not to read every ordinary, innocent thing as a Sign. It's hurting an otherwise loving relationship with a wonderful woman, and I hate being this way and feel I am committing my own kind of betrayal. Looking for advice on strategies to stop, deflect, lessen. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 30, 2013 - 32 answers

What is this I feel?

Please describe to me what jealousy is. What is the difference between the feeling of jealousy and the feeling of injustice. I am accused of being jealous, I am not sure that is what I am, If I am indeed jealous, I want to correct it. Help. Oh, I'm in my mid-40s, not a kid so I need a more clinical description.
posted by Yellow on Oct 9, 2013 - 37 answers

Green, green, my heart is green...

What causes the weird possessiveness/jealousy experienced by many people when you fall in love? [more inside]
posted by Phalene on Oct 3, 2013 - 18 answers

How to deal with probably unwarranted jealousy

Been dating my SO for about 6 months. Recently I've noticed them contacting an old friend more often. I'm feeling jealous, and kind of think I'm crazy for feeling that way, but I can't shake it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2013 - 11 answers

Baa baa scapegoat boyfriend

I have a lot of crap going on in my life to be frustrated and angry about, but for some reason I keep focusing it all on my totally blameless boyfriend. How do I stop this madness? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 18, 2013 - 5 answers

Can a relationship bounce back from a bad period like ours?

My boyfriend and I are currently at a low point in our relationship. I have been irrationally jealous and as a result we have fought every week for the past month. He seems to be very ok with me the day after our fights but I can see how he would want out. Should we keep trying? [more inside]
posted by 01080591 on Aug 13, 2013 - 29 answers

Did I fuck up? How shall I do it differently next time?

I'm in the post break-up re-evaluation phase ('bargaining' phase in the grieving process?). I veer between feeling I tried my best while also holding onto ways I could have done things differently while dealing with our core problem to feeling that I fucked up majorly and just lost a potentially fantastic life-partner. While par for course this state of affairs is I believe, this is really eating me and I would be grateful for some perspective. [more inside]
posted by drummergirl80 on Aug 12, 2013 - 17 answers

How to curb career-related jealousy in a relationship?

My boyfriend (of 8 months) and I work in the same industry, but have different aspirations and skillsets. We more or less started "on the same level," but he's shooting quickly up the ladder since getting a promotion and I'm stuck in an awful rut at my current company. How do I cope with this? [more inside]
posted by themaskedwonder on Aug 2, 2013 - 8 answers

Trying not to be a hater.

How do I not get mad (or how do I get mad in a more productive way) when people who do what I do only not as well receive more attention? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 13, 2013 - 36 answers

NOT the Maid of Honor disappointment--swallow or confess

This seems petty, but I am sincerely and exorbitantly bummed out (with some jealousy and hurt feelings to boot) that MY best friend didn't choose me to be her maid of honor. I'm clearly the next-in-line bridesmaid, but I haven't as of yet achieved many positive feelings about the honor I've received, but would like to, and as quickly as possible. [more inside]
posted by lovingkindness on May 13, 2013 - 54 answers

How do we deal with adults acting like teenagers?

How to deal with a snowball of special snowflake drama from supposed friends and set clear boundaries when they are being clearly unreasonable. [more inside]
posted by Trexsock on May 6, 2013 - 23 answers

Writers, how do you cope with being jealous of other writers?

Folks I know get published! Yay them! Go them! But shamefully, it.. the ...the flames, flames...on the side of my face...breathing...heaving breaths. How do I tame my inner envy monster? [more inside]
posted by angrycat on May 2, 2013 - 24 answers

So very jealous.

How do I deal with this jealousy? [more inside]
posted by Trexsock on Apr 26, 2013 - 13 answers

Dealing with a lack of jealousy

I seem to have a near-total lack of romantic jealousy. It's not that I've never experienced jealousy or can't relate to it, just that my dial seems to be turned down unusually low. This can be disruptive to dating and relationships, and I need some advice on how to deal with it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2013 - 27 answers

How do you deal with jealousy of your spouse/partner?

My partner and I are currently at rather different points in our careers. I have struggled for years to make a living out of freelancing in one area. I'm told I'm good at it but have never made it into a company that can offer me long term work, career development or support. My partner has a stable job in a multinational company and has just been offered and started training in my area, with a probable supported move into my area in the next couple of years. I am not dealing with this very well. Have you dealt with something similar, can you offer advice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 12, 2013 - 23 answers

I don't want to be the jealous girl.

How do you dust yourself off and carry on after shy and awkward days? And how can I stop fixating on, comparing myself to, and feeling envious of a social, extroverted classmate? [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Mar 20, 2013 - 28 answers

Am I a bad person trying to control my partner?

Am I a terrible person? My partner and I have been dating for 3.5 years, living together for one. In that time, he's cut off contact with two of his friends who were also significant exes. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2013 - 38 answers

Am I wrong for getting a bad feeling about my boyfriend's dating coach?

Started dating a great guy, he became my boyfriend probably a month and a half ago. A few weeks into the relationship we were talking and it turns out that he has a "dating coach" and he still meets with her in weekly phone calls because he enjoys her advice. This rubbed the wrong way and googling her, I found she's also totally hot. It just creeps me out that this totally hot woman has so much impact on my boyfriend's life. [more inside]
posted by ponytime on Feb 2, 2013 - 51 answers

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