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Comunication and distance issues don't mix well

Bf wants me to spend more time in his hometown, whereas I feel uncomfortable sleeping at his place-the best/if not only solution in his book-, which leads to me turning down his offers to spend time with his friends and family, and him resenting me for it more and more, bringing each of this instances up everytime I say 'no' to an offer of his, which, in turn, makes me feel like I have to accept said offers or face consequences, which of course doesn't make me want to do those things more. How do I fix it? [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Aug 7, 2014 - 38 answers

Microfiber Women's Underwear

I am looking to buy new underwear, but my favorite line has been cancelled. All the new ones that seem good are made of microfiber rather than cotton, and I have some concerns about that. Possibly gross discussion of lady parts ahead. [more inside]
posted by ohisee on Jul 30, 2014 - 18 answers

Help me find perspective, is my relationship half-full or half-empty?

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 years now, but it seems like we can't seem to find a good "groove". We're satisfied in the relationship for a while and then we get into petty fights and don't resolve them. I thought I was happy with him and really enjoyed his company. However, it's been more and more stressful and I need help figuring out if I've checked out for a while, or if the relationship has run its course. Hope me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 17 answers

Recurring Issues with People

I keep having recurring problems with people at work sometimes, personal issues, what can I do, and how can I prevent this from happening? It's really just bad energy. [more inside]
posted by wak5700 on Jun 6, 2014 - 10 answers

Finding a long term effective therapist for a first timer?

Looking for advice on finding a suitable therapist for some issues I'm having and just for a long term self improvement. I have been putting it off, but finally am at a space where I'm ready to find a good long term therapist. About a year ago I met with a therapist a few times but we didn't "click" plus I couldn't afford it at the time. Things I want to work on: [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 4, 2014 - 5 answers

What should I do about this unauthorized entry in my apartment building?

An unknown person let themselves into my neighbors apartment, stole her pot, and then left, and my landlord isn't doing anything about it. I'm wondering what I should do now, if anything. Details at length inside. [more inside]
posted by apricot on May 13, 2014 - 16 answers

help new relationship between vastly different yung'uns work

I haven't had a boyfriend since I was 16 and I'm 22 now. I'm dating this new guy for less than a month now, and though we both seem to want to make it work, I feel we have pretty different communication styles. We've also been through quite a lot during the past few weeks which we may need help getting over. I'm incredibly bad at dating, inexperienced in romantic relationships and honestly want this to work. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by rhythm_queen on Apr 21, 2014 - 58 answers

Wellbutrin not working - other antidepressants with no effect on libido?

I am a naturally anxious person. I have been on Wellbutrin 150XL for over a month now for various life issues, and my anxiety, which was bad before, has gotten worse. It has manifested as extreme muscle tension/stiffness along with a bit of pain. My jaw is clenched 24/7, and my face and shoulders feel stiff. So, I would like to wean off, and I would like to find an antidepressant that gets me feeling good again - but doesn't affect my libido to the point where I am basically asexual. [more inside]
posted by BuddyBoo on Feb 21, 2014 - 26 answers

Beating Mean Girls At Their Own Game, With Grace

How do you tactfully put a mean girl in her place without stooping to her level? Especially when she's your own cousin. [more inside]
posted by OneHermit on Feb 1, 2014 - 55 answers

How to respond to this kind of venting/anger?

How do you respond to family members venting/unloading on you? This past week, my mother and I kept playing phone tag, which culminated in her blowing up at me. I am sick of repeating this behavior pattern. Pertinent details: [more inside]
posted by nakedmolerats on Jan 29, 2014 - 35 answers

Landlord splitting electric bills between two tenants

My (now previous) landlord split the monthly electric bill between us and the downstairs apartment. We had oil heat, neighbors had electric. We had no a/c, downstairs had central a/c. Electric bills run about $400/month, which we never saw, but were invoiced for as "lease extras". Landlord told us we were responsible for 1/2 the monthly bill. I'm not sure this was equitable. Details to follow. [more inside]
posted by sundrop on Jan 27, 2014 - 14 answers

Just not into him or fears from the past? 35f ponders marriage, again.

TL/DR: My BF (30) and I have been together a year and 1/2. Moved too fast for me, and him too in retrospect. Never got on my own feet after bad divorce and that feeling has endured the length of my current relationship. Close friend and 1000000 people on Meta suggest breaking up. But...I panic at that, too. [more inside]
posted by dollyllama on Jan 9, 2014 - 25 answers

Good (free) resources for overcoming sexual/emotional abuse?

How to heal after living with a sex addict? I am looking for good sources of personal empowerment concerning sexuality (female) and possibly examples of men who actually love deeply and see sex as an expression of love as well as passion...any leads? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 7, 2013 - 10 answers

Age 25. Huge college debt. Can't land a better job. What should I do?

I have $40,000+ in debt, a bachelors degree in criminal justice, an EMT-B license, a basic computer tech certificate, 4 years of customer service experience as a banquet server, a bad driving history, and one misdemeanor - how can I find a better job than being a banquet server? What can I do to be competitive? Should I attend police academy or not? What are my options - what can I do to improve my life? [more inside]
posted by usersname on Nov 9, 2013 - 49 answers

Long Term relationship with a girl that has issues?

Is there any chance that a relationship with a girl with issues from her past could work long term? have there ever been any that have been successful? [more inside]
posted by red47Apple on Nov 5, 2013 - 53 answers

Do I stay or do I go-ooo, now?!?!?

I don't know what to do regarding this waning relationship. We have already downgraded as far as we can because of my mental health and physical health issues. How much further can we go? [more inside]
posted by Jewel98 on Aug 28, 2013 - 23 answers

Read ended by truck a month ago; their ins co won't make a decision

I was hit by a garbage truck a little over a month ago. He had a stop sign that he decided to ignore. I was on a rte/main road with no stop sign, going with the flow of (considerable) traffic. My car was pretty seriously damaged and needs to be fixed, but so far the truck company's insurance company hasn't accepted liability, and are hanging their decision on a guy who apparently doesn't exist. In the meantime, my car's a mess. How to get a response so I can get my car fixed and not have to cover the rental myself? [more inside]
posted by FlyByDay on Aug 2, 2013 - 22 answers

Crazy aunt and a sick house.

My aunt wants to charge me rent on a house that has black mold in it that has caused me to have seizures. It also has no running water, and the kitchen and half of the house is unusable. Snowstorm inside. [more inside]
posted by squirbel on Jul 13, 2013 - 20 answers

FPS issues in one specific game

The boyfriend's having FPS and sluggish gameplay issues in one specific game -- "World of Warcraft." His computer is more than powerful enough to, in theory, run it without any problem, and it used to. What gives? [more inside]
posted by sailoreagle on Jul 2, 2013 - 10 answers

How do you part ways with a terrible bandmate who is also a dear friend?

We're about to kick out our 5th bandmate (for legitimate reasons: skill is low, ear is bad, attitude is defensive and lazy), who also happens to be one of my best friends. I want to make sure we do it in the most compassionate, generous way possible. What are some things to do -- and to avoid doing -- when we finally sit down with him? [more inside]
posted by qzar on Jun 3, 2013 - 11 answers

Fighting family

I lent my cousin a very special item. Now they won't give it back. Do I fight or retreat? [more inside]
posted by mumimor on May 31, 2013 - 40 answers

How to keep a difficult phone call from imploding?

Need to update an out of the loop narcissistic sibling about our Mother's declining health. Wish do do this without fueling her issues and having it turn into a blame game. Snow storm details ahead! [more inside]
posted by cat_link on May 17, 2013 - 25 answers

How can I gain perspective in my possibly red flaggy relationship?

Either one of two things has happened. (1) I've met someone I'm very compatible with who has "matching baggage" and with some patience it will work out to be a happy, healthy, sustainable relationship. OR (2) I've met someone whose issues spell trouble for me, and I may need to cut my losses but I'm not sure where to start. I'm way too close to it, and on balance so far it's definitly something I want to keep working on because I care about him a lot and like how we fit together - but I need a reality check. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2013 - 30 answers

Your problems ruined our relationship. Here, read this.

I recently broke up with my long-term girlfriend because of her refusal to seek treatment for alcohol abuse, and, in my opinion, the maladaptive behavior that causes it. She (now) says that she wants to work on these issues for herself and her future, but I have my reservations (read: she didn't work on any of these issues in our relationship, so I doubt she's going to work on them now). Is it appropriate to send her links that describe these disorders, symptoms and treatment options? I realize that this may result in resentment, utter hatred, and most likely her resorting to the same old tendencies (maybe even worse???), but I do still care for her and want her to be the best person she can be.
posted by mrrisotto on Apr 1, 2013 - 22 answers

To feed large breed or not to feed: that is the question

YANMV, however, I am waiting on a call back from my vet and as I am impatient and prone to obsessive behavior, I shall ask the same of the hive to see the consensus. Should I be feeding my 4 1/2 month old puppy large breed puppy food? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Quincy on Mar 25, 2013 - 8 answers

"Finding yourself"/transitions/deprogramming *on a budget*

I want to shift my thinking style. I do therapy when I can afford it, which isn't a consistent option right now. I suspect there's a pea under the mattress at the core of several faulty thought patterns. I've shifted the pea in some contexts but not others. What are some concrete exercises and activities I can use - with minimal cost - that will help me unravel limiting beliefs, increase self-worth, highlight unproductive expectations so I can address them? Particular parameters inside. [more inside]
posted by hungry hippo on Mar 3, 2013 - 5 answers

Speeding up Lightroom on Mac Pro

I use a mid-2009 Mac Pro for photo editing / cataloging in Lightroom. Performance has been increasingly unsatisfactory. Looking for your advice re: upgrades to the Mac Pro, or perhaps getting a new Macbook Pro. Specs inside. [more inside]
posted by Admiral Haddock on Feb 20, 2013 - 12 answers

Can something that starts out wrong turn out right? (relationship wise)

Have you ever had a relationship, that maybe not DTMFA worthy, started out pretty rocky but eventually turned in to something good and healthy? Details are appreciated. [more inside]
posted by mockpuppet on Jan 29, 2013 - 18 answers

Concerns for living in the Arctic Circle - Advice Needed!

I need advice about the possibility living in Northern Alaska, Kotzebue/Nome/north of the 65th parallel. I have about a million logistical questions, a little disorganized, including questions about mental health problems, medications, getting specialist care. If you needed medical care on a regular basis several hundred miles away, how did you arrange that? Lots of other questions about living in the arctic! Help! [more inside]
posted by circle_b on Jan 3, 2013 - 12 answers

Kindle self-help book recommendations

Looking for recommendations of effective books/workbooks/web resources on emotional intelligence, abandonment issues, anger, fear, jealousy, trust issues and self-compassion. Bonus points for including all of the above and being available on Kindle. [more inside]
posted by f3l1x on Dec 30, 2012 - 6 answers

Questions about a court appearance.

How do I let a judge know I plan to take a driving course? [more inside]
posted by Rosengeist on Nov 20, 2012 - 7 answers

Boyfriend and I coming to crossroads: conflict and pursue/withdraw

How to deal with incompatible conflict styles? My boyfriend avoids and I try to confront/face things. He hates to talk about it. I hate to leave it unaddressed. It's straining the relationship. [more inside]
posted by hungry hippo on Nov 19, 2012 - 44 answers

Can you really be addicted to a certain kind of sadness?

Can you really be addicted to a certain kind of sadness? Ugh...I hate that song. My boyfriend has serious intimacy issues but is trying to work on them. I feel intermittently insecure/frustrated/sad/angry and I don't know how much longer I can take it... [more inside]
posted by entropy33 on Nov 4, 2012 - 14 answers

How can I let go of my trust issues with my father?

Father issues: How to let go and move on, how to trust, and if I should. [more inside]
posted by Kitty Cornered on Nov 3, 2012 - 7 answers

I keep saying things without meaning to!

What is wrong with me? YANMD but freaking out. [more inside]
posted by Trexsock on Oct 13, 2012 - 22 answers

How can I pass as a normal person?

Pretending to be normal. [more inside]
posted by Rosengeist on Oct 5, 2012 - 28 answers

HELP ME FIND BOUNDARIES

Help me find boundaries, again (sorry)--this time with updated boyfriend and cast of characters! The long and short of it is that my ex is coming back to stay with my family in a couple days after I kicked him out, and my aunt who I live with says this is okay, and my cousin lives in my room now, and I need to move out. And I'm broke. [more inside]
posted by athenadanae on Sep 9, 2012 - 17 answers

What to say after "Yes, that really sucks."

Help me find the right things to say to/do for my parents and their slightly terrible relationship, especially now that my mother is housebound. [more inside]
posted by brisquette on Sep 1, 2012 - 11 answers

What can I *add* to my life to help with my binge eating and/or desire to lose weight?

What can I *add* to my life to help with my binge eating and/or desire to lose weight? Additionally, what texts or exercises helped you work past bingeing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2012 - 26 answers

Help me sort out my feelings about spending money on a wedding party

You live in NYC, and you want to have a party to celebrate your very simple City Hall marriage ceremony. But it's complicated. (money issues and feeling guilty inside!) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 9, 2012 - 17 answers

How do you balance family activities at the cabin?

Just got back from a weekend at the cabin with my husband, daughter, son and son's fiancé. My son and his fiancé are very active and want to spend the entire weekend outside - golfing, swimming, seadooing, fishing, sunbathing, eating outside and sitting by a roaring bonfire until 2 am every evening. I do not. They do usually sleep in so that does give me some down time, but seriously, how do I get them to back off telling me that I "should" be outside, super active and do everything with them at their intensity level? I have tried compromising but honestly they are not happy unless you are doing exactly what they want all the time. And they just keep on nagging - it is driving me crazy. How much is expected to keep the family peace?
posted by Minos888 on Jul 2, 2012 - 40 answers

Stupid Drama: what the hell?

Conflict with friend's partner: do I pull out of this commitment, or am I overreacting? (petty and annoying) details inside. [more inside]
posted by jrochest on Jun 13, 2012 - 42 answers

Why the **** won't Amnesia start?

Why won't Amnesia: The Dark Descent start? [more inside]
posted by glaucon on Jun 2, 2012 - 7 answers

ipod issue

Problems loading songs on my Ipod Touch. [more inside]
posted by kittensofthenight on Apr 10, 2012 - 3 answers

Is it legal to withdraw online payments without notifying the consumer?

Is it legal for a company to withdraw online payments from my account without notifying me first? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2012 - 12 answers

Being Mentored by Boss and Colleagues are Feeling Insecure!

How should I handle this tricky situation at work? My boss has taken me under her wing to guide me on the path of success. I feel she did this because I was open to her assistance. We have now developed a friendly "quid pro quo" type of agreement. She assists me by sharing her expertise on certain work-related items and vice-versa. I will in turn share with my colleagues when I feel capable of doing so. Some of my closest colleagues are feeling insecure about my friendly and close relationship with our boss. It seems like they feel threatened by it...like they think I am privy to all this "important information" that I won't share with them. [more inside]
posted by thatgirl1985 on Mar 19, 2012 - 15 answers

How to overcome a family issue?

How should I ease myself out of the family conflict? [more inside]
posted by sanskrtam on Mar 12, 2012 - 9 answers

Ditching the friend isn't the answer to this question.

There is no way to ask this question that doesn't make the person whose behavior I'm trying to figure out sound like a horrifying human being, which is problematic because that's not really what I think. I'm going to try to keep this simple, but bear with me, because I bet it will get complicated really fast, mostly because I'm going to be compelled to use examples. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2012 - 22 answers

Why does my toilet hate poop?

I have a rather...sticky situation happening in the bathroom regarding poop and my new toilet. Please help before I die of embarassment! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 26, 2012 - 30 answers

I think I'm losing my mind

I still have my eyesight (for now), but the diagnosis has triggered serious anger and midlife crisis issues. [more inside]
posted by bad grammar on Feb 25, 2012 - 23 answers

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