Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with invitation

The perils of applying for a lot of things!

Papagayo — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 15:49:21 -0800

Question about the Peace Corps and withdrawing acceptance of an invitation—is this possible? Will it make me look bad if/when I apply for other government things? Hi mefi, I guess I could ask this of a recruiter but I’m being a little paranoid. I was invited to a (really, really awesome) Peace Corps assignment last week. I want to accept it but am also waiting to hear back from a really prestigious grant that I cleared the first stage of a couple of months ago. At this point the PC is becoming more and more appealing to me than even the grant, but I would still prefer to have both options on the table. If I accept the assignment now, am I still able to go back on that later (say, a month from now, when I will hopefully have heard from the grant)? Would this blacklist me from anything else? The other grant is also a US government grant, and I think accepting that instead of PC would be understandable to someone familiar with both programs, but I’m afraid of possible longer-term consequences.

I haven’t been able to find this specific information on the PC website, so forgive me if it’s there and I just managed not to stumble upon it.

How to word a party invitation without sounding tacky?

Oriole Adams — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 12:45:58 -0800

My husband mentioned to me some years ago that he'd never had an actual, cake-and-candles, friends from the neighborhood invited, hats and horns birthday party in his entire life. I'd like to give him a small surprise birthday party for his upcoming birthday in late March, but I have questions about how to actually word the invitations. I'm planning only to invite about six people - different friends that he hangs out with and some couples that we both have known for years. (We both work from home and have for the past 10 years, so our social circle is a bit small.) Even with the relatively small number of people, I couldn't figure out a way to invite everyone to our house (Mr. Adams would obviously notice all the cars parked out front, etc) so I'm thinking of hosting it instead at a nearby Chinese restaurant that he and I have frequented for the past decade.

I've attended parties for folks at restaurants over the years and sometimes I had to pay for whatever I ordered and sometimes I didn't. In this case, I plan to pay for the food for the attendees. Is that something I should mention when I invite people? How to phrase it? "You're invited to (details of date and location and occasion) and the food is on me!" Is it crude/tacky to assure the invitees that they won't have to pay for dinner? I know that one of the potential guests has been out of work for a while and lives almost an hour away, so I'm thinking that reassurance that he won't have to pay for dinner on top of his gas might encourage him to attend.

As you can see, I'm rather clueless as to how to proceed. I read Miss Manners regularly, but I don't know that our invitees necessarily do and are clear on what a restaurant party invitation means. Would you be offended if you received an invitation that clearly spelled out that dinner and drinks were covered, and all that was requested was your attendance?

Repeating "No" Nicely

Urban Winter — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 07:38:13 -0800

How to say no over and over again? I work part time in a secretarial position, and everyone else on staff is full-time. I am regularly invited out for lunches (a "lunch with the girls" event). I get invitations to these lunches every few weeks, but am not interested in attending any of these events. I don't have any interest in getting to know any of them outside of work, and won't need to for the purpose of references after I leave either. I'm not there long enough to have a lunch break in the first place, in fact, never mind an hour-long one. One of the people who attends these meetings is someone who has regularly taken some things I do and emails I send out of context, and assumed that I have been doing/saying things specifically to offend or push work onto them. I have at this point given up on altering this impression, and we mutually avoid each other now. It is a small enough group that this avoidance would be impossible here.

The first time I received an invitation, I made up an excuse. After I realized that it was going to be a routine thing I said that I don't feel comfortable taking so much time (an hour) for lunch when I am only here part time to begin with. The response was that I can always work extra time to avoid having to take time off just for lunch, and that I should come out and be social. My last response was more or less "Eh, maybe next time."

Is there something I can say that will be easily re-usable each time I get another invitation, without feeling like I'm just blowing them off? I've received one today and have been putting off answering it. Can I just say, over and over again, that I don't feel comfortable taking an hour lunch? Is school a good excuse (I'm a double-majoring undergrad), and if so, how could that excuse carry through the holidays or the summer? I don't want to be so harsh about it that they don't invite me at all, not because I want to go in the future but because not receiving an invite would be an ejection from the little "group," and I do want to remain friendly with them... Just at work only.

How should I address wedding invitations to significant others of my friends?

mai — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 14:30:02 -0800

How should I address wedding invitations to significant others of friends? We are in the early planning stages of a wedding. We are soon going to send save-the-date cards. I am at an age where a number of my friends are dating someone seriously. I want to invite all these people. But here is the dilemma:

If I address the invite to friend+guest, without using the guest's name, it seems impersonal. I am friends with the significant others of all my close friends and I want to make them feel welcome.

However, there is a non-zero chance that any of these friends might break up with the significant other before the wedding comes around. Will this lead to awkwardness? Am I potentially implying a greater longevity or seriousness to my friends' relationships than they would be comfortable with? Am I over thinking this?

Can Jimmy come out and play?

garlic — Fri, 18 May 2012 08:48:10 -0800

I've been failing on getting some friends to go out and do stuff with me, and need some help figuring out what I can do to get better success. Let's assume that they'd be just as interested watching the lecture on basket-weaving differences between the 14th and 15th century as I am.

How do you get your friends to come to events you're interested in going to with them? Is there a sweet spot on giving them enough notice that their schedule is free, but not so much that they'll forget about it? Is there a specific way to invite them that's more successful than others ( email / phonecalls / texts / facebook / twitter) ?

How can I invite people to a ninja day event?

rosa — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 08:26:43 -0800

How can I invite people to a ninja day event? December 5 is Ninja Day, and I want to throw a party in my office for it. But obviously I can't just send an Outlook invitation to announce it! Ninjas are like the opposite of an Outlook invitation.

How can I invite people to the party in a fun, creative way that's in keeping, at least somewhat, with the theme?

Wedding invitation etiquette

nebulawindphone — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:47:34 -0800

Wedding invitation protocol question for the non-Martha Stewart demographic. My old friend Buddy is seriously dating Mr. Boyfriend, who I've never met. Mr. Boyfriend has a son Sonny. All three live in different places most of the time, since Mr. Boyfriend has joint custody with Sonny's mom. I want to invite everyone except Sonny's mom to the wedding.

Do I send separate invitations to all three of them, leading Mr. Boyfriend and Sonny's mom to wonder who the hell this stranger is who's sending them mail? Send an invitation addressed to

Buddy, Mr. Boyfriend and Sonny
Buddy's house
Buddy's city, state and zip

and worry that it'll get returned because it doesn't match the name on the apartment mailbox? Send an invitation addressed to

Buddy
Buddy's house,
Buddy's city, state and zip

with a note inside saying "Bring Mr. Boyfriend and Sonny"? Or what?

The proper Excruciatingly Formal way to do this seems to involve several nested envelopes with extra names written on the inner envelope. We'll do that if necessary, but it seems bizarre and wasteful and honestly sort of confusing for the recipient if they're not also up to speed on Excruciatingly Formal Etiquette — which, knowing Buddy, he probably isn't.

I just want to make it clear to everyone who's invited with minimal confusion, ruffling of feathers or risk of mis-delivery. Is there a less Excruciating convention I should be following?

Can we ask people to send "expressions of interest" prior to the actual wedding invites?

Anonymous — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 08:45:21 -0800

Can we ask people to indicate an "expression of interest" in attending our wedding before we send out of the official invites? More details inside. We’re planning a wedding. We have a tentative guest list which has about 70 people on it. We don't actually expect all of these people to attend. We figure that there are about 20 people who probably won't attend (because of travel costs and other reasons). The problem is that booking the venue is going to be tough. We don’t particularly want to book a venue for 70 people if only 50 of them will actually come, but we won’t know who is coming until much closer to the wedding (assuming that everyone actually RSVPs on time).

Can we ask people to send an “expression of interest” when we send out the save-the-date cards? We’re thinking of setting up something on our wedding website that will allow people to submit their expression of interest anonymously. That way, we’ll have an idea of the numbers to expect but there will be no hurt feelings or awkward moments if Uncle Jim sends an expression of interest but then RSVPs “no” when the official invites go out. The understanding would be that the expressions of interest are not official RSVPs, but just a loose idea to help us plan.

Is this something that we can do or would it be too tacky? And, if it is acceptable, what is a nice way of wording the question?

If you need more details, send your question(s) to this throwaway email: weddinginvite.mefi@gmail.com.

Does the kindergarten teacher come to the birthday party?

escabeche — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 20:11:21 -0800

Is it appropriate to ask your child's kindergarten teacher to his birthday party? My son is turning 6. He will be having a birthday party at Pump It Up. (Pump It Up is an "inflatable party zone" -- if you already knew this, you definitely have the right knowledge base to answer this question) and we're inviting his kindergarten class. Do we invite his teacher too? Would she want to come? Or would she not want to come and feel obligated to come? (If it matters, we are specifying "no presents" for everyone.) His teacher has a preschooler of her own (who would also be invited.) Answers from teachers are especially welcome here.

Inviting non-friends to a Facebook event?

jontyjago — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 08:19:37 -0800

I've created a Facebook event for a quiz I am running and invited my friends. I also want to be able to invite the friends of one of my friends. Is this possible without involving him? About a year ago I attended a series of quizzes run by another person who created a Facebook User (not a group) Townname Pub Quiz to promote his quiz nights. I want to be able to invite the friends (of which I am one) of this fake user to my quiz.

I've been in touch with the person who set this up and he suggested inviting the friends of the Pub Quiz user.

I don't think I am able to - I think he needs to do it logged in as that user, but as he also told me he's dealing with a death in the family and I don't know him very well I wanted to know if it was possible to invite people I am not friends with to my Facebook event, before bothering him again.

Small scaled circus event, and not quite juggulo themed. How does one promote?

hillabeans — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 18:51:25 -0800

My boyfriend and I were sitting around one night listening to an extensive amount of circus music I had the thought... we totally need to put on a circus-themed party. We found and booked a venue with a good friend who owns a bar, booked a few performers (jugglers, contortionists, musicians, all close friends). The date is set, place booked, now for the promotion which will make or break the event. I need some help in copy for invitations and promotional art. Does anyone know resources to old school invitations to carnivals / circus / events with a feel from the 1920s-40s? We are creating a facebook event and posters and want to stay as close to theme as possible. Any sites or references to help us with promotional gimmicks (totally grass-roots and on a low budget), ideas for the night itself (we will have rubber-duck pool with drink specials written on the bottom of ducks, a makeup artist to work on tips, scary-clown art posted)... would totally love to see what the metafilter community would recommend! Sorry for the horrible grammar. Thank you so much in advance.

I want to hang out with my friend!

so_gracefully — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 19:51:38 -0800

I invited a friend to go to an event, and then she invited her boyfriend and other friends. I don't really want to hang out with her other friends! What do I do now? I'm 27 and female, and my friend is too. I don't have a ton of close friends my own age, so I am providing that detail in sort of wondering if this is some kind of cultural thing I'm missing, which I think is fully possible. I had been in a pretty isolated relationship-bubble for most of my 20s, am just now beginning to interact socially with other people again, and it's freaking confusing.

I emailed this good friend about a cool event that's coming up that I'm excited about (and the event is a big public festival type thing, not like a private party or hanging out at my house to watch a movie or something), and invited her to go with me. When she wrote back, she said that she thought it sounded awesome, and that she had asked her boyfriend and some other people if they wanted to go too. I was kind of put off for a few reasons, and am needing some perspective.

This friend of mine is a really social, very outgoing, group-oriented person, so I totally understand that she invited those other friends because she likes them and thinks it would be fun to have lots of people go together. I'm not angry about it, I don't think she was trying to do something harmful to me or anything like that, but I don't want to hang out in a big group with lots of people I don't know! I am much more of a one-on-one or small groups person, and I'd invited her because I love hanging out with her and we have a lot of fun. I recently came out of a very rough breakup, I have a parent who is ill right now, I'm really stressed with work, and just want to feel the comfort and enjoyment of being with a close friend. The idea of hanging out with a bunch of people I don't know very well feels like a lot of pressure that I don't feel confident about handling gracefully. And now I'm so anxious I don't even want to go. I asked my friend to go because I was trying really hard to get myself out to have some fun, but now I'm totally shutting down at the thought of going.

Part of me is thinking to go anyway, but go by myself and just not meet up with her/her friends there. I'm not sure if I am overreacting or being overly sensitive about her inviting other people, and want to understand that a little better. Alternatively, should I try to make myself enjoy hanging out with people I don't really want to hang out with, just because it's theoretically good for me since I won't be moping around in pajamas all weekend? I'm pretty stuck in ruminative oblivion at this point... please hope me!

How do I interprete this wedding invitation?

helios410 — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 07:53:31 -0800

I just received my first of many wedding invitations, and I am a little unsure about how to respond. Based on this pic, it looks likes after "M_____" I put Mr. John Doe. Correct?

Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Anonymous — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 10:14:56 -0800

Wedding Invitation Etiquette - my husband and I are hosting and paying for my stepdaughter's wedding and she has just ordered the invitations without involving us in any way - shouldn't the invitations be sent from the hosts - her father and I? I'm not concerned about the style or cost but I thought we would have the honor of extending the invitations or at least reviewing the contents before they are sent out. Or am I being hopelessly old-fashioned? Thoughts?

Crap, I missed ANOTHER meeting?

The Winsome Parker Lewis — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:18:10 -0800

How can I integrate my company's Microsoft Exchange 2003 calendar with Mail.app and iCal on Snow Leopard? I don't fully understand how Exchange and Outlook work on PCs but I need to make it happen on a Mac. My company uses Exchange 2003 for company calendars on the network. How can I read and edit a calendar in iCal?

Also, when I receive meeting invitations in Mail.app, they show up as ordinary emails with an Outlook Web Access link at the very bottom. Often I don't see the link or realize they're invitations in need of a response. How can I easily determine that they are, accept them, and add them to my calendar (and to iCal)?

I'm willing to try crazy, outside-of-the-box workarounds to get Exchange to talk to Apple's software if necessary. I found John Maisey's You Are Invited, which seems to be a step in the right direction, but it's broken on Snow Leopard and has been discontinued.

Extra bonus points for you if your solution will also let me read and edit the calendar from my iPhone over the web, instead of via USB syncing.

A sad brother-in-law at the Tigers game?

palindromic — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 21:06:11 -0800

How should I (or just should I) ask my bereaved brother-in-law to a baseball game next week? My brother-in-law's mother recently, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. The funeral is tomorrow, and I unfortunately can't make it because of some mandatory training programs for my job. Both he and my sister know, and understand that I would rather be there to support them, so this isn't one of those touchy 'they're mad at me' situations or anything. Baseball ticket does not equal emotional bribery here.

Instead, I just want to give him and my sister something to take their minds off their grief, even if only for a few hours. (For what it's worth, we are all Tigers fans and the game is against division rivals, the White Sox, after a pivotal four game series with the Twins, who trail the Tigers by only two games right now - in other words, should be an interesting and fun game.) I already have the tickets and would have absolutely no problem finding two other people to see the game with me, but I would rather keep it in the family if it's in good taste.

At that point it would be about two weeks since his mother's unexpected death. Too soon for baseball, good sister-in-law gesture, or what?

I'm thinking the best way to do it would be to just say that I have two extra tickets for the game next Saturday, and would they like to go, and keep all mention of the sad badness out of the conversation. Good way to go?

I don't know. He's an ex-Marine and so kind of stiff upper lip about everything, and I'm bad at the whole grieving process thing.

Oh baby, did I just blow it?

shiu mai baby — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:33:24 -0800

Are baby showers, by default, supposed to be surprises? A few weeks ago a few friends threw a lovely baby shower for me. It was supposed to be a surprise, but several out-of-town family members ruined the surprise for me. I was fairly peeved by their unintentional thoughtlessness until I found out that the organizers didn't actually specify that it was supposed to be a surprise. At the time, I just wrote it off to an oversight on the part of the planners, but now I'm not so sure.

Why? Because just now I was discussing baby showers with a pregnant friend of mine (one of the organizers of my party, btw), explaining that I might or might not be able to make hers, because I was totally going to try but that it's also just a few days after I'm supposed to have this kid, but I'm still going to do my very best to be there for her. She was perfectly gracious about it, but then she was like, "don't let anyone know you said anything to me!!"

Again: the shower invite said nothing about the party being a surprise, so I had no reason to keep mum about it, but somehow I feel like I've just committed a faux pas.

So: should one always assume that baby showers are surprises? Is this some sort of east coast/pennsylvania-area tradition? I consider myself fairly well-versed in all things etiquette, but in my mind if you're throwing a surprise party for a person, whether we're talking showers or birthdays or anniversaries or whatevers, YOU SAY EXPLICITLY ON THE INVITE THAT IT IS A SURPRISE. Am I wrong? Have I just completely stepped in it, or is it a simple case of regional culture clash?

Ugh. Weddings. Never a fun one.

Anonymous — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 06:45:17 -0800

Boyfriend invited to his best friend's wedding, and, well... drama. My boyfriend's best friend is set to be married in three weeks. When the wedding was announced several months ago he mentioned it to me without naming a specific date, and I said 'I don't think I'm free in the middle of September'. Turns out I am away the week before the wedding instead, and updated my calendar in our flat accordingly.

The boyfriend assumed I wasn't coming and without my knowledge invited his ex-girlfriend (who would have been flying in from Japan to attend) instead. An invitation arrived for him last week, he opened it and then stuck it away somewhere, and I finally got round to asking about it this morning.

Since he got the invite, his ex has changed her mind about going. I don't have any reason to think he wants to get back with her, but rather the engaged couple are also good friends of hers, and so are many of the other guests. He probably though he was 1) being nice by asking her, 2) getting out of an awkward situation by presuming I was away and thus never having to mention she'd be there, and 3) completely mystified why I'm angry.

For my side, I'm 1) angry he didn't check the dates after the first time he asked, especially as my calendar is next to the refrigerator, 2) mystified that he would ask his ex without even mentioning it to me, and 3) offended that he doesn't think I could be in the same room with her, or her friends.

We had an argument this morning, but I had to be at work early so no resolution was reached. I don't want this to be the hill I die on, but really, I don't know what to say. He's usually considerate, but prone to making decisions without communicating his thought process with other people. I want to get him to see that this needs to change, rather than give him the impression that he should start to hide more things for fear of upsetting me.

I got uninvited - now what?

Anonymous — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 12:29:26 -0800

How do I get over being mad about being uninvited to a wedding, when I sort of understand where the couple is coming from? So, my best friend of six years (the groom) got married yesterday and I was not in attendance. The day before, I was told (by best friend's brother) that the bride had decided she didn't want me to come to the wedding, and I'd have to skip it. I asked best friend, and he said that he was very sorry but she was annoyed with me and he had to side with his wife. How do I get over being pissed about this? Please forgive the long back story, but wedding invite stories are usually complicated right?

Once upon a time, my best friend and I dated for 2 years, and broke up 3 years ago. The relationship ended completely amicably (we realized we were really good friends, and our true loves were still out there) and we have remained very close friends. He helped me move after I ended an abusive relationship, he listens, we have fun when we hang out, yadda yadda yadda - it's great and I adore him. There is no lingering sexual tension - we are completely unattracted to each other. We just know each other really well, and get along. When he told me about this girl, I said they'd get married and was thrilled to find out that they were engaged. I spent some time with both of them, but she is ridiculously shy (a quality we share) and I've maybe ever heard her say three words. At first, I thought she didn't like me because I was an EX but I have since found out that she's like this with everyone. I thought we were hunky dory and I was looking forward to building a friendship with her (I wrote something to this effect on my wedding card).

When it came to actually planning the wedding and making the guest list, I told both of them separately that I completely understood that I was an ex and to feel no pressure to invite me. They decided to anyway, and I was completely excited that my best friend is getting MARRIED. I chatted with both of them about things they'd picked out (they had a blog with their ideas), and bride asked me about what I was wearing, etc.

Basically, everything was peachy until Thursday evening. Groom has a brother who lives in another state, and since both of their parents have passed, they are really each other's only family. The problem is they don't have similar personalities and can't stand to be around each other too long. So on Thursday, groom's brother was looking for a short escape from family hang out time, and I offerred to hang out for a little bit. He stayed over too late, and ended up spending the night. This is what I did wrong.

The next morning, groom's brother tells me that bride is unhappy and doesn't want me at the wedding. I asked groom, and he said sorry but she wasn't having it. I told groom that he was making the right call (wife > friends) but that I was very hurt and sad. I have not been able to get in touch with him since (because he's busy getting married). Once I got home from work, I lost it. I cried, I was heartbroken, I felt left out. My old friends who were coming to town wanted to see me, and I didn't have time to make plans with them outside of the wedding. I am still very hurt and sad, and Facebook updates with pictures and congrats are not helping. There is also a part of me that thinks this was incredibly unclassy and mean and I'm angry. Generally, it sucks.

My question is: how do I stop being so angry and get back to wanting to celebrate this joyous moment in my best friend's life? I still have my gift sitting in its bag, and I have debated taking it back. I have helped plan my siblings' weddings, and I know that sometimes you have to not have people there for whatever reason. Like I said, I know he made the right call in supporting his wife, but now I have the problem of thinking his wife is a bitch. That's not healthy for my friendship with either of them. Any advice on how to just accept that I didn't go and move on? Any help is appreciated.

PS - I have heard rumors that bride seems to think that brother and I slept together, which I think is probably none of her business, but probably contributed to her not wanting me there. This is just a rumor though.

Shakespearefilter- Writing an invitation like the Bard

Jason Land — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 19:57:57 -0800

I want to invite a woman (via letter) I like out on a date to see a Shakespearean play later this month. I want it to read somewhat like the general language used in his writings, but also instantly understandable to someone not very familiar with his plays and/or language. If someone could point me to a resource to help out or if you're willing to rewrite it yourself, I'd be very thankful. Basically, the text of the invitation would read as follows (I'll do it in faux-formal syntax to give the sort of translation I'd like):

My dear XXXX,
It would give me great pleasure and honor if you were to accompany me to a showing of the great bard William Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" on the eve of July 18. It is a delightful comedy also concerned with romance, misunderstandings and cross-dressing.

If you are or if you are not inclined to attend this event with me please allow me to know your disposition below.

A wonderful idea, to attend with so handsome a suitor!
[ ]

This is a spurious request that offends me.
[ ]

Sick of stag.

Anonymous — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 08:29:08 -0800

Why (in the hell) can I not bring a date to this wedding? So let's say I have this good friend, Larry. Larry and I have been pretty tight for about 10 years, but work has taken me away to the other side of the world (literally - Larry's living in a major US metropolis, I'm living in a far-flung country that's [roughly] 2 (count 'em: two) 12-hour flights to get to where Larry is).

Larry's getting married to a nice gal. Its pretty much expected that I'll be at the wedding, Larry and I were even roommates at one point. I consider him a pretty close friend, and he knows more about me than most, but I'm an introvert and Larry's a pretty popular guy. I had almost expected to perhaps be an usher in the wedding or something, but I wasn't particularly surprised when that didn't happen - Larry has a lot more friends than I do.

So I get the invite, its addressed to me, specifically (i.e. not "and guest"). However, the RSVP card does have a field for "Number attending."

Larry and I are catching up recently and the wedding comes up. I talk about who I'm going to bring as a date (he and I would discuss my interest in particular dates often, back in the day), and Larry very pointedly states that nobody is bringing dates to this wedding and only the names on the envelopes are invited. He apparently thinks that all weddings are like this, and says as much - according to him only married or engaged people get to bring a date.

This puts me off a great deal. I am literally making plans to travel around the world, at my own expense and on my own vacation time, to be there to celebrate Larry's special day, and now I am essentially forced to do it "stag," probably sitting at a table with people I do not know, likely next to some friend of the bride that she thinks I'll be just perfect for, who I will have no interest in. I've been in these shoes before and choose to avoid it these days.

Questions:
1. Am I on a high horse I need to get off of? I don't have anyone in particular I desperately want to be there with me, I would just not like to be "alone" and ostracized as such at said wedding (large protestant WASP group where its generally assumed if you're diddling around in you're 30's and not married or fast approaching, there's something fundamentally amiss with you).

2. Are Larry and his fiance as pretentious as I'm currently now wondering? (Picture Tim Robbins' character in Shawshank Redemption - I feel like asking Larry "How can you be so OBTUSE?")

3. Where do I go from here? I don't know why this throws me off so much, but I'm at the point of considering not even going. I know I will, in the end, to avoid the headaches of "why didn't he make it to our wedding," but at the same time, I don't want to show up and concede the point that I've failed at being relationally successful.

4. Bonus: Why am I so angry about this? I know I shouldn't be, and I'm mad that I'm letting it get to me. It just strikes me at its core as something I shouldn't let pass with a sad, sunken gaze. It should be alright that I'm not engaged or married, and yet still want someone to be with me, right?

Examples of handmade cards for small business invitations

acoutu — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 11:33:27 -0800

Where can I find examples of handmade corporate or small business event invitations? I own a small business. I want to invite about a dozen business owners to an event I'm putting on. These people are all part of my close business network -- even friends. I'd like to send handmade cards to invite them to the event and I'd like to also include the seminar flyer/postcard. I'm looking for a eye catching way to present the invitation, but not in a way that looks romantic or wedding invitation-like. Really, just some interesting ways of putting together paper and cards (with the postcard/flyer enclosure) would be great.

I have a small budget for the cards, supplies and mailings -- probably less than $40-50 total. It's a one-off project and I can't focus my investment here. I don't want a designer. I'm quite happy to do it all myself. My local Sears has some examples of paper invitations and ways to put them together -- that's the sort of thing I'm looking for. But I'd like something online, so that I can spend some time thinking about what I see. (I am not good at seeing something in a store and remembering how to do it.)

Thanks!

Help choosing a font please?

ersatzkat — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 18:50:12 -0800

Can you give advice about a font to go with another font? A friend wants to use Occidental as the "big, pretty, featured" font on a wedding invitation (think bride and groom names), and needs another "simple" or "goes nicely with" font to do the rest of the details. Can you help? It would be ideal if it were either free or comes with Windows (up to Vista). I'm a dummy about these things, and I know a lot of you are *not*. Thanks!

I don't need your stinkin public service!

mhz — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 12:05:44 -0800

How can I deal with bloggers uploading pictures of private events? In my small-ish community, there are a LOT of 'events,' usually a few every day. While tradition calls for most of these to be modest affairs, people have gone crazy with size and cost over the years. Specifically weddings and engagement parties, where anyone with any tangential connection will at least show up for a few minutes of congratulation. I don't have a problem with that, I do it myself occasionally.

While I'm still old-fashioned enough to think that invitations should be personal (and everyone still does make those personal invitations to everyone they might otherwise miss), it's become common for local 'community blogs' to publicize the dates, times, and locations of all of these events. This huge invasion of privacy is often overlooked, but…

Recently, they've 'upgraded.' Now they're posting PICTURES of many events online. Still many people are happy with this, and even consider this (along with the 'notifications' of the events in the first place) a public service. I hate it.

So, what are my options to stop it?

We're talking about various websites, who use many, many, photographers. Should I ever make such a party, there's no way I'd know everyone there, and there's no way I can stop people from entering. I don't like the idea of a sign asking people not to photograph (a. I have no problem with guests taking pictures, posting them to their Flickr and Facebook accounts etc, so the wording would be weird. b. It'd probably be ignored anyway).

I can't know for certain who might be doing this, although a good hint is anybody who's not family or hired carrying an SLR. Should I see learn somebody is taking pictures for one the (I think it's now 5 or 6 different) blogs, what are my rights?

These parties, despite what they've become, are privately paid for, etc, so I imagine I can throw them out. If somebody goes without making a big deal of it, can I insist (read: force) him/her to delete the pictures taken without my authorization? What are my options if they don't want to leave? Don't want to delete the pictures? Can the fact that the time/date/location has been posted online be construed as an invitation? Does the fact that someone is invited help them at all? I don't like the idea of somebody who isn't a guest taking pictures, even if they're not being published – it's still creepy. (Nobody who's there as a guest will be taking more than a few, these bloggers routinely take hundreds.)

How to print my wedding postcard?

gilgamix — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 18:11:15 -0800

We're printing our wedding invitation as a couple of postcards. It's classier then it sounds, but where's the classiest (cheapest) place to print them. So we're having a (not) small (enough) ceremony and luncheon (to which there is one postcard invitation, and then a larger reception/studio party later in the night to which there's another postcard invitation. For the ceremony guests, we'll put them both in an envelope and send it out normally. For the party only guests we'll stick the postcard in the mail directly. OK: so where can i get digital (or comparably priced) printing, on nice matte stock that feels like it's meant for a wedding and not ladies night at the club? You know? So it works in the envelope and out...?