I need to start to shift the work culture among a couple members of our support staff. Snowflakes and unicorns inside. [more inside]
How can I teach an adult on the Asperger's/Autism Spectrum social skills specifically tailored to the office environment? [more inside]
Co-worker with a temper blew up at me today. What do I say to him tomorrow? [more inside]
I'm caught in a casual, hot and cold relationship with a person I fell in love with years ago. I can't tell anymore what is normal relationship behavior. I'm a female in my 20's, involved with a person in his 40's. We have similar sensibilities and get along great but then he goes cold. He always let's me decide if I want to stay or not. Everytime I leave, I end up coming back because I miss him and I'm greeted with enthusiasm. He's a sweetheart and never acted aggressively towards me which leaves me confused. 'Cause he'll go out of his way to help me with anything I need and once I get comfortable and thankful, he grows cold. He never saw us as "dating" even though we were plus the issues of him getting over an ex. I can be a bit of a people pleaser at times but I always abide by the rule of if you don't want to be with someone and they have strong feelings for you, you cease contact. He doesn't do this and I'm confused. I feel like a puppet. I don't know what's going on in his head. I don't even know if it's abusive or not. I have been in an abusive relationship and this doesn't mirror it so I'm having a tough time processing what's going on. Please help.
I feel that I am generally somebody who ends up being taken advantage of. What can I change about myself to avoid this? [more inside]
I'm a first-year masters student taking a course that is supposed to be the core curriculum of my discipline. My program is in systems ecology. I find myself increasingly frustrated with this professor and increasingly unable to hide it, and now he wants to "meet with me to talk about student-instructor dynamics". I need some help coming up with some strategies to deal with this professionally. Difficulty level: I'm a new graduate student, and he's the director of my program. The program is brand-new (just started spring semester of last year) and this is one of two core courses, both of which are taught by him. His course is so terrible that I'm considering transferring to another program within the university. Excruciating detail inside. [more inside]
I am constantly monitoring other people's tone, actions, facial expressions, etc. for signs of anger, frustration, irritation, etc. I am not conscious of it until something happens, and then I tense up, feel some adrenaline hit, and generally become really conscious of it until the situation is resolved. How do I reduce this impulse? [more inside]
Can anybody recommend a book that will teach me how to be assertive without sounding bitchy? Or, maybe it's a self-esteem issue that I'm dealing with. I'd like to communicate better. [more inside]
This is going to seem like a very strange question, but how do you know what you want when you don’t know what you can have? Especially when other people are involved, trying to speculate on an “anything’s possible” basis seems like pointless daydreaming to me. I’m trying to work out whether I’m approaching this differently to other people, because their questions make no sense to me and my answers make no sense to them! [more inside]
Moving away to university in September. What can I do to meet people, and improve my abysmal social life, confidence, and interpersonal skills? [more inside]
I am in a negative, dysfunctional office environment with very little supervisory support for all parties involved. I have been seeking other employment but that's besides the point of this post, I would like any advice on my immediate options in this situation and how to make it any more tolerable? [more inside]
We talk friendly, appropriate coworker talk about our lives, but he never talks specifically about his spouse though he's married and uses the pronoun "we" when talking about his personal life. I'm feeling awkward not asking him any other details about this part of his life, but also wonder if I should just leave it alone until he brings it up since it's really none of my business and this is a professional work environment. What to do? [more inside]
My social relationships start out as acquaintance with classmates, coworkers, and roommates. Then they progress to casual friendships, in which I hang out in bars and do small favors (help carry stuff, give rides). Then they stagnate or die. I have little in the way of family, so "chosen family" is an ideal that appeals to me a lot. Sadly, I have no one like that and things aren't moving in that direction at all. [more inside]
Book filter - I am looking for books and other resources that teach interpersonal communication skills. [more inside]
How do I handle debating people who either ignore data-based arguments, or respond to them with anecdotes and opinions? [more inside]
A new part of being in a relationship: sharing illnesses. Having some mental (as well as practical) difficulties with this. Special snowflake details below. [more inside]
How can I keep my cool during a confrontation with a co-worker who is angry? [more inside]
As a transfer junior in university in another city, the distinctive line between casual school friend and potential true friend has become more confusing to me than ever. Over the past few days, I've read many related posts, websites on interpersonal skills yet to find myself in the position of over-worrying again. So how do can you tell that they aren't just your friends of convenience and if not, how do you become better friends with them without appearing too clingy or starting an unbalanced, one-sided friendship? [more inside]
An already-existing "okcupid.com" for finding a business partner? [more inside]
Jury deliberation was utterly exhilarating. Help me find more situations like this. [more inside]
A great kid. Uncomfortable in his own skin. Teen pressure. We've all been there. Help me help him. [more inside]
I have had self-esteem, confidence, and anxiety issues my entire life. Lately, my confidence has been getting much better, but it is still very unstable. More than anything else, I want to be able to feel good about myself consistently. Is this possible, given my background (see inside)? If so, please share your success stories or advice on what I can do to feel good. [more inside]
How do I become more calm, or at least appear to be more calm? [more inside]
My facial expressions don't match my emotions. Sometimes when I think I'm being friendly and warm, I actually look condescending, anxious or just weird. As far as I know I'm neither crazy nor autistic. How can I fix this? [more inside]
I'm about to not get acknowledged for my work on a project I put my heart and soul into for several months (at a junior level). Others working on different aspects of the project at similar levels are thanked. There's still time to change the course of events. Should I approach my boss and bring this to his attention? If so, what's the best way to do this professionally? Suggestions on what to say? [more inside]
Help my friend not be misperceived so that she can get a job!
My friend is super smart, very industrious, a wonderful team member but... makes faces and has a certain demeanor that makes people think that she has, as one person put it, "an attitude problem."
This label is TOTALLY NOT deserved, but I do understand why people might get this impression.
What can she do to ensure that she comes off as more "likable" in a job interview? [more inside]
Our former roommate had a cat, which he was babysitting for his ex. He lived with us for 6 months and barely acknowledged this wonderful, personable animal - they hadn't bothered to give her a name - and my girlfriend and I became close with her and kept her for 2 months after the roommate moved out. Now he has reappeared and wants to take her back to a lonely, neglected existence. We want to say no. How can we do this? [more inside]
My girlfriend and I need questions and inspiration for our bedtime question game before it dies of creative block. [more inside]
What are some of your favorite interpersonal tricks and techniques. I am trying to be a little more engaging in my interpersonal relationships. Bascially, I want to up my charisma quotient. Answers to this question would be along the lines of stuff found in a Dale Carnegie book, like saying a person's name during conversation, keeping up correspondence ( letters, emails, x-mas cards ), etc. etc. Lyndon Johnson used to grab people by the lapel while talking to them for effect. Benjamin Franklin said, "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged." What things have you seen others do that seem to have a positive effect on other people?
Generally in most states, especially Oregon, if one person claims another has "personal property," do the police deal with this in an immediate sense or is this a case for small claims? [more inside]
What topics are taboo for casual conversation? [more inside]
How (or: Why) do people begin to stop being racist? How did you begin to learn to appreciate people of different races to your own? [more inside]
I am not good at interacting with people, making friends, or handling stress. [more inside]
EPISTEMOLOGICAL INTERPERSONAL DILEMMA AHEAD:
How does on convince someone else, who has many options available to them and who has no serious financial restrictions, to not shop at Wal-Mart? (more inside) [more inside]