Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with interests

I'm in need of a (new) hobby!

cofie — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:10:47 -0800

How do I go about getting back into hobbies, or finding new ones (suggest some)? I'm slowly lost a few of my hobbies - stores close, friends move on, interests wane and change. I've recently finished uni, and I'm just having a break until I start full-time work next year.

What I'm after is something (or more than one something) to get me out of the house and doing things that are quite different from my usual routine. Stuff I can start now and keep going even when I have less time due to work.

Some background: I'm a web developer, both as my job and my past-time. I have a large collection of Magic The Gathering cards, I cycle (although I don't want to cycle competitively), I used to (and want to) play sports - volleyball, touch, indoor soccer. I'm interested in creative pursuits but have never really given any a good go.

I have some ideas, but what I'm really after is brand new ideas or some discussion of how best to get into something, and stay with it.

Moving past social anxiety

Garden — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 07:25:17 -0800

Does anyone else feel like an imposter? I often have a hard time building relationships with people. I can be polite and make small talk with other people, but I struggle with making friends. I struggle with social anxiety which is part of the problem, but how do you move past it and build relationships with other people so that they are genuinely interested in getting to know you better? This is the part that is the most tricky for me. I'm good at being polite and making small talk, but talking about things past this is where I really struggle. For most of my life I've always gone with what the other person wants to do and I've followed obediently. The problem is that I don't know how to lead in a friendship. I frequently worry about the fact that the other person I'm hanging out with is getting bored. I don't know what to talk about most of the time beyond small talk and being polite so I'll rely on meeting my friends and hoping that they have something interesting to talk about. Some of my friends from the past that I still hang out with enjoy having conversations when we have a drink and that's fine. I guess the problem is that I don't understand what the next step is with talking to people that I've just met. I think that a lot of people become disinterested and think that I don't have much going on in my life due to the fact that I don't know what to talk about. Perhaps this is true, as most of my hobbies are solitary activities such as reading and working on the computer. However, I also enjoy going to the art institute, museums, and baseball games. I'm sick of being so unsure about what to talk about. This is one of the reasons that I don't date very much as I can sense that the person I'm with feels bored. A lot of the times, I feel bored as well but I don't know what to do about it. I've been seeing a therapist for a while and we talk about the social anxiety being a problem, and I'm trying to get past it, but I just don't know what to talk about. Any suggestions/ideas?

How to create an interest-based survey that groups users/discussions based on matches?

dael — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:29:16 -0800

I'm looking for help in finding good examples of interest surveys for social sites that match a user to a group/other users based on interest survey results (very much like StumbleUpon process but its focused on matching sites I might like). I'm looking for best practices, too, to decide on hierarchy structure (what is a considered a top level and second level category). The idea is providing ~30 "top level" interest areas that also allow a user to go deeper, if they choose, to sub categories that are more specific. (Example 1: top level category Entertainment, subcategories celebrities/gossip, gaming, internet, movies, music, books, etc. Example 2: top level category TV shows, subcategories Family Guy, Heroes, the Office, Dancing with the Stars, etc). Once a user selects their interests they will be matched to other users/ discussion groups based on matches with other users. Any examples of sites that do this (other than StumbleUpon, which does a great job) are greatly appreciated.

Suggestions for my new job or career?

springo — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 14:01:35 -0800

I've done some soul-searching, and I've come up with some ideas for new jobs or careers for myself, but I know there are other possibilities out there that I just haven't thought of yet. Based on my skills and interests, can you think of a great job or career for me? My three favorite skills are:

Creating unusual and hilarious new ideas quickly and spontaneously.

Deeply evaluating new ideas created by others and making recommendations on the best ones to use.

Enthusiastically adapting, experimenting with, applying, improving, and promoting other people's good ideas, particularly if the ideas aren't well-known.

My three favorite interests are:

Personal counseling and guidance: finding, integrating, and using new ideas

Entertainment: humor, oddity, and other forms of surprise

Writing

I have technical experience (computer programming and other work for fifteen years, project management) and creative experience as well (acting, music, and writing). I also love taking care of people--service and support jobs have suited me well in the past.

What career fields do my skills and interests suggest to you?

Fizzled Out on Passion

divabat — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 02:36:41 -0800

Depression has knocked my passion (for everything) out. Gwargh. What do I do while I get therapy sorted? I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for about six years, and have been on and off treatment for that time. Last year (after about 3 years of being treatment-free) I had a bad relapse and went back on medication (Effexor XR) and counseling. They helped, and I was getting better, but recently I had a big setback and never managed to recover properly.

I've found that this wave of depression has robbed me of the ability to feel passionate about everything. I was once really passionate about changing the world (in various ways), and was invited to an exclusive summit last week for 100 other young passionate people. I felt like a dullard next to them - I didn't feel like I had anything of substance, and at one point I sat alone in a room crying and declaring that "I'm done". Surprisingly, even though my only contribution was wise-cracks in lectures and a Thank-You card for the organizers, the rest of the group accepted me wholeheartedly and felt that I was one of the most memorable people in the whole summit.

After I came back from that summit, my boyfriend and I went on a weekend vacation, but I couldn't muster any sort of enjoyment whatsoever. My boyfriend's showing me so much affection and love and care, and all I could do is go "meh". This got worse in the following week, and I felt really guilty that I couldn't feel as much love for him as he obviously does for me. (According to the Triangular Theory of Love, the companionship and intimacy is strong, but the passion's gone missing).

For a while I felt like I was holding him back, that I wasn't the best person for him, even offered to find him someone else that could treat him better. In all other respects, our relationship is actually going great - we communicate well, we deal with ups and downs maturely, we respect and care for each other deeply. I just am an emotional wreck, and I didn't want him to suffer because of that. Nonetheless, he still insists that he loves me, and that he doesn't mind the lack of emotional passion. (For example, I like cuddles and embraces, but felt guilty that I was being selfish and not bursting out with love for him. He told me not to worry because he didn't find it selfish at all.) It's good, I guess, but I still can't help but feel guilty that the only emotional response I can muster to anything is "blaaaaaaah".

I went to see a GP (my regular one was away) and made appointments with my usual counselor. It's two weeks away though, so I have some down time. I have work placements this uni semester (my last!!) and I'm still waiting for those to be sorted out so I've got nothing to do for a while. I'm already wallowing away in sorrow and despair, and find it hard to do stuff - I'd rather nap all day (and indeed do sleep a lot) and it takes a lot of effort to make myself shower or prepare a meal. I have things I could do, but I'm too lethargic and bored to do anything other than think about them. My boyfriend and I are also looking at relationship counselling to see how else we can deal with my depression - we're talked out and we're out of ideas.

How can I cope with the lack of passion and energy? Should I feel guilty for not being as romantically inclined towards my boyfriend? What about my current apathy towards making a difference, when I once was such a passionate worldchanger? What can I do in these two weeks (until my counselor appointment) so that I don't drag myself down into further despair and actually feel better?

(I'm doing a little better now as I write this, but my moods change so quickly and intensely that I'd rather have some practical ideas for when I get another "sad attack". Also, I've found lots of relationship questions about dealing with a depressed partner, but not much about being the depressed partner itself.)

I've got all the time in the world, and nothing to do with it.

hamhed — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 23:37:47 -0800

How do you try new things? Lately I've noticed that my life is pretty boring. I wake up, go to work, come home, watch hockey while I endlessly refresh web sites or play video games, exercise a bit and then go to bed and read until I fall asleep. My life has been like this with small variations for as long as I can remember. I want to do new things and meet new people, but erm, I have no idea how.

To make things a little more difficult, I moved to a new city (Costa Mesa, CA) about 6 months ago. I'm not really familiar with the area and most of my friends are prohibitively large distances away.

My current interests are programming, video games, hockey, and pulpy science-fiction/fantasy novels.

How do I find interesting new things to try? And once I've found something that interests me, how do I actually go about doing it?

Can I be a snake-breeding, table-waiting professional crocheter?

d13t_p3ps1 — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 08:46:27 -0800

I love everything. How can I narrow down my field of interest to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life? I have a very diverse list of interests, ranging from genetics to painting, from reviewing music to crocheting to snake breeding. Basically any non-chem science, anything creative, anything relating to linguistics and anything involving animals. What can I do to prevent being a jack-of-all-trades, master of none? How can I figure out what I really have a passion for, so I can focus on it?
Also, I'm not in college right now. I don't want to sink money into it with no idea of what I want to do. Just to ward off any "that's what college is for" answers.
(Background: 19, female, I live with my boyfriend, don't have a drivers license, and am a broke waitress.)

It takes time to make time

Brittanie — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 00:34:13 -0800

How do you fit everything into life that you want to do? Two years ago I found myself (happily) unemployed. At first it was difficult to get used to and I was bored all the time, but now I have finally found a comfortable schedule that allows me time to in-depthly peruse several interests. However, there are many, many more things I'd like to do with my time as well.

For example, I take taekwondo three mornings a week, and I also try to run three times a week. I'd like to start taking yoga again, but how can I fit this into my already full schedule? Taekwondo takes about two hours, running only one (showers and commute included).

I also like to devote a part of every day to writing (usually an hour, more if I feel moved). In addition to that hour, I also keep a journal and try to write in it at the end of most evenings. There's another two hours.

There's so much more — I have a list of about 100 books I'd like to read, and it grows exponentially. For every book I finish I add two more. The same with my list of knitting and sewing projects. I want to learn to play the guitar, I want to take dance lessons, I want to go back to school, I want to learn Spanish. The list is endless.

In addition to this, I also run my household, since I do not work. This includes cooking and cleaning, which I'm happy to do but which consumes a lot of time.

Next year I'll probably start working again (maybe only part-time) but that will still take another huge block out of each of my days. The biggest problem I see is that I'm not happy devoting small amounts of time to these interests. I want give them each enough attention that I become good at them, not just as a passing whim.

I'm also wary of spreading myself thin, but at this point I don't think that's the case (yet). There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the week to do everything I want to do!

Mefites, how to you balance everything?

Want to help me figure out how to figure out what I like to do?

Anonymous — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 06:55:22 -0800

I have a lot of free time now that I'm single again, but I don't really know what to do with it. Help? I was talking to my therapist today about how to fill my time now that the guy I was dating has exited my life without explanation, and she suggested that I spend more time on my interests and hobbies. But I realized that I can't think of any interests or hobbies that I have. I waste away my free time taking walks, readings books/mags, and surfing the internet. And formerly with this boy. Now that the boy is out of the picture, I have much more free time on my hands. I'm hoping to motivate myself and to use some of it to begin going to the gym regularly (I could stand to lose about 15-20 pounds, suggestions on how to do that are also welcome), but mainly I'm wondering -- how do I figure out where my interests lie, what sorts of hobbies I might want to pick up, and where I should meet people (not just guys, but also new friends). I realize that it's strange that I don't know what I like, but I really was at a loss when asked about them.

What can we do together?

justonegirl — Fri, 14 Apr 2006 10:05:55 -0800

What do you and your significant other like to do together? I'm ashamed to say that, over time, my husband and I seem to have forgotten how to spend time together. Due to his constant work schedule (full-time office job plus owning/operating a very busy DJ company), he doesn't have a ton of time to dedicate to our "togetherness." Meanwhile, my pregnancy (11 weeks, just now starting to feel not-so-horrible all the time) has caused me to become quite the couch potato, spending hours a day watching TV and napping.

We've agreed we both want to spend more time together, but I feel like we've drifted so far apart in terms of interests that I don't even know where to begin. I don't even know that I *have* that many interests left, while his don't appeal to me in the least.

He's asked me what I want us to do together, and I know he'd at least try whatever I suggested, but I'm kind of stumped. It's like I've forgotten who I am (or who we are as a couple) and I don't know what to tell him. This is embarrassing because I look at other couples and hanging out seems to be so natural to them. This man honestly and truly is my best friend and the best person I know, yet I don't really know how to be around him anymore in a capacity that isn't eating a meal, doing chores, or fulfilling family obligations.

So...I'm looking for inspiration. What do you and your spouse/partner like to do in your free time? Bonus points for pursuits that aren't overly athletic (due to my condition) and don't require a huge monetary investment (though we do have some money to spend). Thanks in advance!

Help me find what I want.

Tolerant — Thu, 16 Mar 2006 09:20:58 -0800

All of the guides to life planning or career management start from the assumption that the individual knows what they want or at least what they like. I have no idea what I want. What can I do to discover or rediscover direction? My family is somewhat stoic and really taught me how to ignore my desires or bury them to support the desires/interests of others. Thus, I have become quite gifted at delayed gratification with little gratification at any point. I tend to focus on long-term goals and sacrifice happiness to meet those goals. A college degree put off thinking about what I wanted for 6 years, graduate school delayed it for another 8 years, and chasing tenure occupied 7 years. Over this time it has become increasingly difficult to set and achieve goals because I have lost sight of what I want and what it means to me. Right now I am completely stalled. Friends have suggested following my skills – but I am really a jack of all trades. Others have suggested following what I love or what makes me happy – but I don’t get those feelings from anything or at least not in a long time. How do I discover or rediscover the things that I want or things that I like or love?

Help me decide on a project...

jackofsaxons — Thu, 22 Dec 2005 21:35:50 -0800

Help me decide on a project... I need to find a project, hobby or a business to start. I'm a reasonably intelligent person with interests ranging from graphic/web design, music, art (digital and traditional), computers and trying to cook up the next big idea. I used to run a local music website that was fairly popular for a few years, but I eventually closed it due to lack of participation.

I've got a huge itch I need to scratch. My brain is hungry.

I devoted a huge amount of time to my old site, and now I have this void in which I feel I need to create something. Past endeavors somewhat interest me (freelance design, fixing computers, photography, even rock climbing) but I find that I'm just too varied in the different things I want to do and try.

Give me some suggestions, or help point me in the right direction. I know this is a bit vague but I am very much at a loss.

How to gauge a persons musical interests?

Botunda — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 08:29:44 -0800

My girlfriends brother wants some new music to listen to. What questions can I ask to better gauge what suggestions I make? He listens to mostly country now and I have a wide range of interests none of them relating to country. I would like to broaden his music taste without scaring him off of some good stuff.