Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with interest

A routine malaise?

the foreground — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 18:38:33 -0800

Recently I have been having trouble finding enjoyment or excitement in almost all of my regular recreational and social activities. I'm pretty sure I'm not depressed, this is not an overall feeling of hopelessness, as I am petty happy with the general outline and direction of my life. It is more of a specific, lackluster feeling of blandness that has gradually crept into most activities that I supposedly do for "enjoyment." I'm only 25. What gives? This affects things like enjoyment of music, sport, and meeting new people, a feeling of "having been there before." I don't think it is simply a matter of mixing it up and doing new things, because I do try out new activities from time to time and I routinely meet new people. I am happy at work, have a nice girlfriend and otherwise engaged happily in the world. Some specific examples of where this feeling persists:

-I am a music fanatic, yet I haven't heard an album that has given me goosebumps in at least two years. This used to happen a lot more often.

-I follow a sport quite passionately yet I can not remember the last game I watched that I truly enjoyed and gave me that feeling of excitement that caused me to watch the sport regularly in the first place.

-Often when I am taking part in a hobby that I have always enjoyed, my mind wanders and thinks about all the other things I could or should be doing to the point where it becomes quite difficult to actually enjoy the hobby.

-When I meet people now I often automatically categorize them into pre-disposed groups like "hipsters" or "bros" without actually really caring to get to know them on an individual level. I used to be a lot more open minded.

-I have run out of all patience with politics/media (another formerly enjoyable subject) to the point of true apathy.

Is this just a symptom of being a few years out of college and adjusting to the tedium of the 9-5 grind? Have I begun outgrowing all my interests and just not found the new thing or things to replace them with yet? I would love to just be able to go back to being able to enjoy watching a movie or listening to an album and loving it without reservation, but I feel as though I've become too critical or jaded for this to be a possibility. Has this happened to you? How did you get over it?

Which student loans to pay off first: Stafford or private?

Muffpub — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:03:02 -0800

Student loans in the United States: I have larger fixed-interest Stafford loans, and smaller private loans tied to LIBOR. Which should I pay back first? Thanks to anyone in advance for being patient enough to read this.

I'm just entering the beginning of my payback period for my student loans in the U.S. and I'm wondering which I should prioritize fiscally and pay off first, seeing as I'm going to have to lower my monthly payments on at least one set of loans.

So I have two sets of student loans:
- A set of three private loans with quite low interest rates (~3.29% right now - around LIBOR + 3%) but which may rise in the future;
- A set of four Stafford loans, three fixed at 6.8% and one mysteriously at 2.48%. (I have not yet consolidated, but plan on exploring that ASAP.) Together the Staffords add up to about 1.5 times the size of my private loans.

A part of what complicates the situation is my ignorance about consolidation, which is something that I have to explore further with Sallie Mae (who services my Staffords.) One of my loans is now a Department of Education loan (but not the 2.48 percent one...) and I have no idea if I can even consolidate those altogether.

The larger question I'm facing is this: I can focus on paying off the private loans, but get hit by the Staffords' higher interest rates compounding on an already significantly greater sum. And I'm assuming the interest rates, even fixed, will be even higher consolidated / pushed out.
Or,
I can focus on paying off my Staffords, but risk the LIBOR going up past six percent, as it has done in the past, which could really hurt down the line. If these were relatively small amounts I can see it not making much of a difference, but with sums as big as these (over $10,000 each) I don't want to take a decision lightly.

I feel more comfortable owing the government than owing a private lender, but apparently while I was in college the world decided that I could no longer make financial decisions based on fuzzy feelings. So I'm making them based on the hive mind's judgement instead. Thank you all.

Pay down the mortgage?

acoutu — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:19:11 -0800

Should they pay down their mortgage? My friends, who think I'm a financial guru, have come to me seeking some advice on their mortgage. However, while I have an opinion, I thought I'd ask the folks here at AskMefi too.

Should they pay down their mortgage?

Due to several unexpected windfalls, my friends have about $100k in the bank. They have earmarked $25k for retirement savings, general savings, a trip, and so on. They have ample emergency savings and decent retirement savings funds already, as well as college savings. Their car is paid off. They have no debt outside their mortgage. They live on one income and use the other to pay down their mortgage. They have 2 children and one parent works part-time, while the other has a very good job. When the other parent returns to f/t work, their income will rise substantially, but they are already in a very comfortable household income bracket.

My friends can pay up to $65k as a balloon payment on their mortgage each year. They have previously made several balloon payments, but none this year.

Their current *fixed* rate is 5.89%, with 2.5 years left in the term.
Their marginal tax rate is around 35-40%.
Their mortgage payments are around $2050 a month.
The outstanding balance is now $275,000, down from $350k when they bought 2.5 years ago.
Their condo is worth around $600k and is in downtown Vancouver.

If they break the mortgage, they would pay an interest rate differential of about $17k.

They could refinance at around 4% fixed or 2.2% variable, give or take.

They have excellent credit.

My friends think they should pay down their mortgage by $65k, so that they get a 5.89% return with no tax. This will reduce the burden of a mortage (in a city where a house is $1M) and also mean that, when the term is up for renewal in a few years, they can shorten up the amortization or else benefit from much lower payments. They don't think it makes sense to break the mortgage ,since, over the course of the entire mortgage, they would actually save much more by applying the $17k penalty against the mortgage instead. Besides, they have money sitting in the bank.

Does it make sense to pay down the mortgage by $65k?

Thanks in advance.

Protection in a weakening economy

CollectiveMind — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 05:16:04 -0800

Our deficit and our debt are at record levels, even compared to WWII. Then, the debt was financed internally, not by other countries, so the interest we could pay was lower and the money was recycled in the U.S. Now, the debt and deficit are mostly financed by other countries through bond offerings and the like. And as they grow, those debtor countries will want higher interest rates on repayments, which drains money out of the U.S. Does anyone know of, or can anyone suggest a position to take in-case our national financial fortunes deteriorate slowly? A crash, understandably, wouldn't offer much safety for anyone except the very rich. And I'd expect social unrest would threaten even them at that point. But in general and for the average investor, are there any suggestions for investment or money/asset movement strategies that can protect one in an economy with (a) increasing foreign debt payments in the short term, (b) potential significant interest rate increases in the medium term and (c) lessened national economic influence on the international currency markets in the long term? I just can't seem to find any financial wonk willing to speak plainly on this.

Need formula to calculate a lease rate factor from a %.

thinktwice — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:05:45 -0800

Need formula to calculate a lease rate factor from a %. I'm not quite sure why I can't get a straight answer on this. So here goes.
Equipment lease have some variables.
Term in months/yrs i.e. 24, 26, 48, 60, 72
Advance payments 0,1,2 (mostly first month or first and last)
end of lease term option $1 Purchase Option, FMV, 10 PUT etc...
Rate factor (usually expressed as a 4-6 digit decimal)

For the purposes of discussion of this specific problem we will be using a 36 month lease, $1 Purchase option, 2 advance payment lease, and 11% rate. Equipment price will be $10,000 as when we get the monthly payment the rate factor can easily be obtained by moving the decimal 4 places to the left. i.e. $300.00 gives a rate factor of .0300.

Using a FinLease calculator from ParanzaSoft we get a monthly payment of $318.91 or rate factor of .0319

Using the FinKit calculator from the same company we get a payment of $321.57 or .0322 factor.

Whatever calculation FinKit is using seems to more closely model the bank's actual rate sheet.

I am wondering why there are such large discrepancies, even within the same software company's different products, and if there is more straightforward method using Excel. (read not with a HP17b - if so is there a HP 17b emulation method in Excel or, more importantly, for OS X)

I would interested in the following formulas
$1 purchase option, FMV @ 10% and 20% residuals.

I have asked several people about this and get wildly differing responses. No wonder we have a financial crisis on our hands.

Savings for convenience?

Raze2k — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 09:55:09 -0800

Should I bother with a savings account? I recently dug myself out of credit card debt and for the first time in years, I'm finding myself no longer living check to check. I've continued to use one of my cards for most of my expenses, partially for convenience, but mostly for the cash back rewards now in tandem with Chase Blueprint (specifically 0% APR on all purchases, as long as I completely pay my bill each month with extra points for having a Chase checking account).

Having said that, I now find the balance of my checking account growing and I feel as though I ought to be earning interest. The sticking point here is that I need the money to be very liquid and easily accessible. Most of my accounts are with Chase and I'd like to keep it that way. Unfortunately I don't have a high enough balance to qualify for their interest-bearing checking accounts and the interest on their savings accounts is currently a pathetic 0.01%.

Since I'm not sure of my financial needs over the next year and I want to keep my funds readily available at a moment's notice, is it worth bothering with a Chase Savings account -- if only to provide the convenience of separating theoretical savings from day-to-day funds?

I'm not at a point where I feel comfortable transferring funds to an online-only bank and, admittedly, convenience is huge to me. Are there any down sides to opening a new savings account (other than the obviously terrible interest rate)?

Note: Chase Savings accounts are free as long as you have a minimum balance of $300.

Close the card or take the hit?

dforemsky — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:10:36 -0800

Should I reject a credit card's rate increase if I cannot pay off the balance right away? I received a letter from a credit card company (Chase) saying that my interest rate would increase to a variable rate of prime + x%, but I could opt out of the increase if I were to close the card.

The letter also stated that I could continue to pay the balance off over time at the current rate, but I could not use the card any more.

I have no problem with closing the card, but I cannot afford to pay off the entire balance right now and would like to take advantage of paying the balance off over time, while keeping the current interest rate. I am, however, afraid that if we close the card, in six months the company will come back and say that they need the entire balance immediately.

Has anybody else done this - closed a card and kept paying it off over time? Has the bank ever asked for the entire balance due at one time? Am I better off taking the interest rate hit and leaving the card open?

I'm not worried about the FICO hit for closing the card, and I know it's bad to carry balances, but this one snuck up on me.

Calculating Interest

goalyeehah — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 16:58:40 -0800

How do I calculate interest on a short term loan? I am borrowing $2,300.00 from a friend for car repair. I have promised to begin paying him off $300.00 a week beginning Sunday, August 16. I told him I would give him 5 %. This will be paid off in 8 weeks. How do I calculate the interest?

I have $30,000 burning a hole in my pockets.

brenton — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:11:08 -0800

Where is the best place to put my $30,000 as I slowly withdraw from it over the next 2 years to pay for Grad School. As of today, I saved exactly $30,000. I will quit my job in a month, and I'm starting classes in the Fall. I won't have any other source of income for two years, besides school loans and these savings.

I currently have them in a WAMU Online Savings account, which was paying 4% interest before, but now is paying next to nothing.

Payment schedule for dodgy debtor

southof40 — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 15:52:50 -0800

How to determine how much I'm owed by someone who's not going to pay regularly ? (in Excel preferably). I lent $x as a favour to a person I knew on the basis they would make six monthly payments of $y - the idea was they were paying me an interest payment of 7%.

It's pretty clear now that rather nice picture of life is not going to be how it is.

In the best case what's going to happen is that they're going to make more than six payments and they're not going to be monthly (the worst case is I get an expensive lesson in life).

I want a model I can use to show how much is outstanding at the end of each month and then add the interest onto the principal.

There's an awful lot of 'if you borrow this much how much will the bank charge' stuff out there but I need something which will cope with irregular payments and recalculating the principle based upon the interest received.

Something in Excel would be great but just a desciption of how it should be done would do.

Help me avoid being a loan shark.

Salvor Hardin — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 07:08:54 -0800

What's the scoop on the interest rates charged by Kiva's microfinance institutions? I am interested in lending some money via Kiva.org. Kiva has gotten pretty positive press, and the concept makes a lot of sense to me. However, I have heard conflicting and worrying things about the interest rates (averaging around 20%) charged by the regional microfinance institutions that Kiva uses to actually lend the money.

I have heard both that the interest rates are usurious, and also that they are way better than other interest rates that are available in impoverished areas of the world. It seems a bit suspicious that Kiva doesn't tell the lender (as far as I can tell) what the interest rate charged on their loan is. This FAQ from kiva.org seems to explain the high interest rate pretty reasonably, but IANAeconomist, so I feel like I could get suckered. This AskMe question has a bit of a side thread about this topic, but it wasn't very conclusive.

So: What's the real deal about Kiva? Do they suck the life out of poor people with predatory interest rates? Or is it the shining beacon of a new and better way to alleviate poverty? I also welcome any other insight about the pros/cons of kiva.org. Thanks!

Most efficient balance for earning interest?

electric_counterpoint — Tue, 26 May 2009 08:46:44 -0800

Mathematically speaking, what's the optimal amount to keep in an account that earns a high rate below below a certain sum and a very low one above it? So I have an account that pays 4% APY on every dollar balance below $10,000 and 1% for every dollar beyond. To maximize the interest I earn, it seems like I should pack it up with the full $10K, right? But then my annual interest dollars are only getting 1%, so they won't compound as much.

Second question: imagine I have two such accounts, with equal terms, and $10K to distribute between them. Am I right to think the best option is to put $9615 into the first account, $385 into the second, and at the end of the year move the first account's new $385 into the second account (which then has a balance of $385+15+385, given its own interest)? Or am I missing something?

(The account is AmericaNet Bank's rewards checking offering, if you're curious. This question is mostly something I'm curious about rather than something I'd actually do, since earning the 4% on two accounts would require twenty debit card purchases a month, and who knows whether the terms will stay the same for more than a year?).

AskMeFi, what's AmOREtaZeeAtion?

hellogoodbye — Fri, 01 May 2009 23:01:26 -0800

Upon examining my student loan payments, it appears that my "interest amt last payment" numbers sometimes increase, even when I pay the same amount (more than I need to pay) on the same day of the month. What!? I am not a math person, nor one that has been very curious about the actual calculations on accruing interest. Here are what I think are the most important facts in this situation; I know there are many variables, but I'm hoping someone can explain this to me w.o me going into all of them. That said, I'll definitely clarify if it will help accurately answer my question.
I have been paying ~60-90% more per month on my student loans than is necessary, no principal has been added, interest rate is fixed and calculated on the formula "Interest rate x current principal balance ÷ number of days in the year = daily interest". I'm pretty sure the way my loan holders calculate interest has not changed in this time period.

So, why is it that on Feb 2 09 they received my $X00, and $X1.32 of that went to paid interest, but my Mar 2 09 payment of $X00 (exact same amt as last payment) put a higher amt $X6.11 to paid interest. Shouldn't the paid interest go down, while my contribution to the principal go up? Another confusing thing, as implied above, I pay varying amounts above the amt I should each month...but I noticed that particularly when I pay $(X-1)50, the amt of interest paid shoots waaaay up from the rest of the months...even from those where I pay less than that.

When I enter my data into amortization tables assuming I'm overpaying by a consistent amt every month, the interest correspondingly goes down every month...never up, so I have been blissfully assuming that that principle applied to my specific loan situation.

Sorry if I've made this needlessly complicated OR not detailed enough, but please shed some highly informed light on this puzzle!

Almost enough to pay for Grad School

brenton — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 13:06:08 -0800

I have saved up about $25,000 for school, which starts in September. I have it in a WaMu online savings account which had very high interest, but now the interest rates have plummeted so that I am barely making anything anymore. It went from getting $50 a month on $10,000 to making $17 this month on 25k. :( Where should I put my money where it will be safe, easily accessible in a fairly short term, and yet with as high of an interest return as possible. I also need to be able to continue to input money into the account every month when I get my paycheck. PS: I am planning to take loans if they are interest free and hold off paying them until I can't defer any longer. But when I quit my job, I will need to start withdrawing money for daily living expenses.

How can I decide on a college major when I have NO interest?

isopropyl — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 21:35:33 -0800

How am I suppose to decide on a major when I have no real hobbies, interest, or passions for anything. Other than sleep or a good book I don't really do anything. I'm not the greatest writer and you can't support a family with sleep so what so I do to find something I truly enjoy. Something that actually will make me look forward to the day while I'm wasting away in minimum wage jobs while I decide on a major; After 60 semester hours at my school you have no choice.

Do inflation cancel my loan interest?

delosic — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 11:12:22 -0800

Will my student loan interest rate and the rate of inflation cancel one another out? Thanks to law school, I currently have about 60k in student loans. About 43k of that is locked in at 2.625% The remaining amount is locked in at 4.5%.

The long-term average inflation rate is 3.42% and, by the decade, hasn't dropped below 2.6% since the 1960s.

My question: does the inflation rate paired with my interest rate mean that I am effectively paying 1% on part of my loan and actually making 1% on the larger chuck? Logically, this seems to make sense and, following that, there is no harm and possibly even some benefit to paying these things off as slowly as possible.

Of course, I could be completely wrong and I can't find any Internet site or online calculator to back me up. Can the hive help?

Is this my personal bailout for the credit industry?

Anonymous — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 08:24:53 -0800

Yesterday, I paid off Citibank for the last time. Today, I logged in to verify it had posted, and noticed my interest rate had jumped 5.5%. Has my new regime of frugality displeased the overlords? (Anon because I know some of you and am embarrassed about my money issues.) Last year when I got serious about my consumer debt, I used Citi's low-APR balance transfer offers to consolidate all my credit card debt. The total of transfers and existing Citi debt gave me a balance in the mid-$20K; the transfer APR was 2%, and the purchase/existing APR was 13.3%.

The balance transfer period is about to end, so I decided to clean the dogs out of my investment account and get out of debt in one easy payment. Yesterday was the last day of my statement period; I paid the current balance in full. When I logged in today, the current balance was only the interest charge on the previous period, so I paid it off too. Then I noticed that my APR had jumped to 18.8% overnight!

I've seen a number of stories about Citi jumping people's rates inexplicably since the current crisis started. I know that, by not using my credit, I am less useful to Citibank. Still, I wasn't expecting a hike back to where I was in my less creditworthy days. Are they betting that I will be unable to resist using my card again and that I didn't notice the boost? Is the hike coincidental to the zero balance, making my ragefest at Vikram Pandit meaningless?

What are the pros and cons of giving back unused student loan money at the end of the semester?

SuperNova — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 14:32:48 -0800

I'm in my first year of law school and also a first-time student loan borrower. I ended up having a decent amount of loan money left in my bank account at the end of the semester. Should I pay it back or hang on to it? All my loans are federal -- both types of Stafford and GradPLUS. The PLUS is my highest-rate (8.6% I think?), so if I were to pay the money back, it would go there.

The PLUS had a 3% origination fee that I believe I read would be waived if I paid back within 120 days of disbursement (i.e., this week). The deal is, you borrow"$X", you actually receive ($X-fee), and then you have to pay back $X. Theoretically, if you paid back the ($X-fee) before the time ran, you would be clear of the whole amount -- or at least that's my understanding. That won't happen, in my case, but I could pay back around half. The fee is not huge -- less than $300 total, so less than $200 at stake here.

Maybe more importantly, what's the story on in-school interest? Both the unsubsidized part of the Stafford and the PLUS loans charge interest while in school, and say that it will be added to the principal amount if not paid back during school. My lender's website reports a "Payoff Balance" around $500 higher than my loan amount (which, for the PLUS, is around 3.4% -- which doesn't correspond to anything that makes sense to me relative to my interest). Is that difference the interest? Should I pay it back now?

My priorities are keeping my ultimate burden as low as possible, but also not running short of money now (when I have much less of it!). Based on this semester, it looks like I should have plenty for the spring, but I might end up needing to save some for this summer if I don't have a paying job. I'm not opposed to paying as much as I can back now, but only if there is a good reason to do so.

Can anyone offer some advice on what I should do or at least on what I should consider?

(Lender is Citigroup/Student Loan Corporation, if it matters.)

Is our money system broken?

symbollocks — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:01:56 -0800

[EconomistFilter] Are interest based money systems fundamentally broken? Here's the logic: You might have heard the thought experiment where we're all on an island using a fixed number of coconuts for money, and if we start lending coconuts at interest, we create imaginary coconuts so it's impossible for all the debts to be repaid. To make the simplest possible example, if there's only one coconut, and I lend it to you on the condition that you pay me back two, we now have two imaginary coconuts and only one real coconut. You can't pay me back two, so instead you pay me back one and become my slave.

So, are interest based money systems fundamentally broken? And how does this idea relate to our economy today (how does it translate into reality)?

Why Invest in Negative Interest Rates

jsonic — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 13:08:13 -0800

Hey Financial People: The interest rate on 3 month Treasury Bills just went to -0.01%. Why would anybody, or any institution, buy them? Why not just hold on to your capital as cash? Or does a negative interest rate not mean what I think it means?

Compound Intrest for Dummies, part 892

anastasiav — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:30:19 -0800

Lets say I have $20,000 that I want to become $100,000 (or more) by the year 2024. What (if any) lower risk options do I have to make this dream a reality? Assume for a moment that I really don't want to put this in the stock market because I can't afford the risk of a major loss.

Is a lower interest rate worth the closing costs?

MtDewd — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 11:28:58 -0800

Interest rates are down, so my mortgage broker contacted me to see if I want to refinance. I'm under the impression that every time you refinance, you lose value in the house, so is this a good idea? I'm only 16 months into a mortgage @6.75%(fixed, 30-year) and am being told I could get one @ 5.625%(also fixed, 30-year), saving $150/month. Closing costs are around $3000. This sounds good over the long run, but is it really?

What's the money angle? Who is making money here, and who isn't?

Bonus question: my wife thought if we were refinancing anyway, why not get another $10K to fix up the bathroom (and only saving $100/month). Is this a worse idea?

Help me save money on a mortgage.

halogen — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:24:51 -0800

Mortgage filter: is there any reason I shouldn't get a 5/1 ARM at a slightly lower interest rate than the 30-year fixed option? Asking for Dad.

I am buying a $247,000 foreclosed townhouse in Houston, TX with $50,000 down. I am financing $197,000 and currently have the following offers for mortgages (closing date is December 3rd, so I don't have much time):

A 5/1 ARM with an interest rate of 5.25% through ING direct. They have relatively few fees ($3,000 or so closing costs, no escrow, etc.), but unfortunately I do not have a crystal ball and don't know what interests rates will be in five years. (Current plans are for us to live in the new house for longer than five years.)

A 30 year fixed-rate mortgage at 5.625% with a local broker. My payments with the fixed-rate mortgages will be approximately $50-60 more a month, adding up to about $3,000 over five years. The broker has not been particularly upfront about fees (they keep changing on a daily basis), but it this loan will be more expensive than through ING Direct. My real estate agents says that I should go for the fixed-rate mortgage if I don't mind paying an extra $60 a month for the security of a low interest rate.

Hive mind, which option should I choose? Any additional advice when choosing a mortgage is also welcome, since I have never bought a home before.

Curret Canadian Great Credit Card Offers?

figTree — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 18:39:17 -0800

I'm living in BC and and have a money on a credit card that is at around 15%. Every once in a while I hear about some offer that they will transfer your debt and give you 0% or really low interest for a year or something. Any good offers out there right now??? Thank you!

can girls get friend-zoned?

paperlanterns — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:06:05 -0800

I'm a girl. How to get out of the friend zone with a guy? I know, I know. All that ladder, friend zone stuff is kind of silly. But I don't have a better way to describe my dilemma. I am in my mid-20s, I don't know how to rate my attractiveness but I think I am okay. my interests range from having good discussions about politics and history to conversations about great books to being a completely girly-girl to talking about fashion, makeup, celebrity gossip to sports to blah blah blah... the point is i feel comfortable participating in conversations about lots of different topics.

i have noticed sometimes that guys that are, i guess, for lack of a better word, fairly desirable (i.e. they are good looking, well educated, etc) in the area i like tend to befriend me and seem to enjoy conversations with me on the phone and in person. i do not really initiate these conversations but i am happy to partake.

i feel like (and this has happened with a couple of guys) what happens though is that i am always there as "the girl who is so easy to talk to" but i am never the girlfriend. like, i get told "you're so much fun and so easy to talk to, i cant do this with alot of other girls" and we end up talking alot and (i am sure, subconsciously i start to get emotionally attached on the basis of long hours of phone conversations) - but i never am the girlfriend of these guys. i am always the girl whose the friend.

does any of this make sense? i am sorry i am not verbalizing this well. i mean, i have ended up talking to some of these people alot (them always initiating) in the quantity that a girlfiend-and-boyfriend would talk; OR about very deep and personal things.

i am not saying guys and girls cannot be just friends -- i am happy to be a good friend and i think i am. but i guess, after talking to a guy like this for awhile, sharing your hopes/dreams/thoughts, etc. i start to get emotionally attached and begin wishing i had more of a relationship that just being "one of the guys."

how do i get across the point that i am interested without scaring a guy like this away? i feel like if i am blunt and express my interest, he will say no (which is fine and i can go back to bein regular friends), but he may not want to be as close to me anymore b/c he may think he is sending mixed signals.

i feel like, sometimes, if he hasn't expressed his interest in me by now, he's not interested. but i guess it would be foolish then, of me, to keep giving myself emotionally in these conversations correct? i should dial down how much i talk to this person, right, if my needs aren't being met?