Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with insults

Help me roast a friend.

ieatwords — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:45:41 -0800

I am roasting a friend for his birthday in a couple of weeks and I need some one liners and zingers. I know that there are a lot of one liner websites out there but I wanted actual human input. My friend is turning 30 in a few weeks and I'm wondering if any of you have any one liners, zingers, or insults on the following subjects:

1. Turning 30
2. Being bald
3. Unemployed
4. Being in a long relationship and unable to commit to marriage.

Feel free to add any general insults that could tickle a drunk audience.

I have some very specific things I'm going to joke about in regards to my relationship with him and his personality but need some comedy to fill in the gaps. Your comedic genius is greatly appreciated!

Easy Street, maybe?

srrh — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 22:53:57 -0800

What does the insult "There are street named after her" mean? A friend of mine was complaining to me about a mutual friend of ours, doing some things she considered to be selfish and greedy. She ended her rant by saying, "There are streets named after her!!" I didn't ask her what it meant at the time, it would be strange to do so now, but I cannot get this out of my head. What the heck does it mean?

I need all your best jeers, razzes, taunts, and insults for baseball games!

ORthey — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 13:36:34 -0800

Baseball season is fast approaching, which means one thing above all else: I need all your best jeers, razzes, taunts, and insults! If there's one thing I love more than going to baseball games, it's yelling things at baseball games. Some of my favorites, a mix of standards and homemade ones, include:

"The AFL-CIO throws better strikes than that!"
"I've seen better swings on a porch!"
"Hey blue, if you had another eye, you'd be a cyclops!"
"Get off your knees, blue, you're blowing the game!"
"Hey [player], too bad you aren't as good at playing baseball as you are at being ugly!"
"I find [player] to be a subpar athlete!"

As you can see, I don't have strict or high standards. They can be lewd, crass, long, short, idiotic, clever, obscure, esoteric. My arsenal is limited and I am looking to expand... for that, I turn to MeFi!

Errr ... uh ... ahhh ... yo momma!

WCityMike — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:19:32 -0800

Mefites, help me be clever yet immature on the playground of our lives. I need to know how to more effectively tell someone he's a boogerhead. Scenario: stranger does something annoying and I choose to let it go and move on, or comment. 95% of the time, I let it go. 5% of the time, I comment, and perhaps 3% of the time, it escalates to a brief exchange of words.

At the moment, I'm morbidly obese. I've lost almost 20 pounds from my highest weight. It obviously ain't gonna happen overnight, but in the meantime, it's just what I'm wearing, not me (without going into a whole Stuart Smalley routine) and it doesn't bug me that much.

But in the meantime, it's the first thing the other person reaches for. I'm actually not insulted anymore; it might've bothered me once, but nowadays I actually kind of chuckle at how unoriginal it is to grab something so obvious. [Guy's thoughts: Errrr ... he's fat! So ... "Shut up, fatass!"] But what does bug me is that, because I'm not good at the whole "yo momma!" come-up-with-insult-quickly thing, I end up kind of going at the moment "urrrrrr ... ".

So I'm looking for some clever comebacks to the "debate opponent" hauling out the "fatass" or "fattie" remark. (The comeback doesn't necessarily have to involve fat, though — just anything that's fairly universal, and good. The kind that'd have a crowd going "Oooooooooooooooooo!")

At the moment, if I have the presence of mind, I usually unbotheredly chuckle and say, "Verrrrrrrrrrrrry creative."

It lacks something. The "yo momma" vibe, I suppose. And it does have that sort of "I'm insulted but laughing it off" vibe. Given that I'm not insulted but just trying to make fun of the unoriginality, that's not the desired vibe to project.

So ... how can I more effectively do the "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly"¹ thing?

Two minor preferences for responses.

First, it would be good if the comeback can be fairly universal, and doesn't need to be tailored to something specific about the person. That way there's not a pause that would be needed for the "examination of opponent - thought - integration of response into insult template" process.

Second, yes, name-calling is kiddie playground stuff. But you can't tell me that you've never found yourself wanting a handy comeback in a situation akin to this. So doing a whole "childish" riff or the whole "it's better if you avoid disputes like this by doing procedure x" — *nod* understood, and I agree with you. But this is for rare, not constant usage: I don't plan to use these except once in a blue moon, but I'd like it handy in order to more adroitly slap 'em down when they go for the obvious.

¹Annoying, evil, chipmunk-y but nonetheless funny song.

Pretty harsh words

LobsterMitten — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 21:45:25 -0800

Seeking a word: Is there a term other than "euphemism" for couching an insult in fancy-sounding words, so your insult sounds less harsh to the inattentive ear? A student of mine is confused about what "euphemisms" are. The example we're looking at is "Mr. Jones is a notorious zealot". To my student, those words are unfamiliar, so he feels like they are cloaking the speaker's true insult in $10 words. Now, "notorious zealot" isn't a euphemism. In fact it's a harsh thing to say. But is there a word for what my student is getting at -- dressing up one's insults?

I need to be insulted! But use your native tongue.

Davidissimo — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 09:43:19 -0800

I'm looking for insults from around the world, in their native tongue, English translation and phonetics. Not truly offensive, but more like the Shakespearian "I bite my at thou." The stranger/smarter/culturally varied, the better. I have scoured the web and unfortunately have only come across some truly vulgar suggestions. Do you have something? Have parents, grand parents etc who might have some ideas?

"May you live in interesting times" - The Chinese proverb is a great one as well.
"Noch a chochem!" - The Yiddish "Such A Scholar" is good to.

So anything you got...insult me!

He/she has the IQ of a...

adverb — Wed, 23 May 2007 09:59:00 -0800

Fill in the blank: "He/she has the IQ of a _________." I've heard various phrases to refer to stupid people. Googling brings up interesting simple or inanimate objects such as a sugar beet, tapeworm and dirty sock. (I've always used doorknob for some reason...) I'm looking for the ultimate funny comparison!

Where can I find Canadian cussing?

languagehat — Mon, 21 May 2007 08:52:19 -0800

I'm working on a book of international curses and insults and I'm supposed to write a section on the U.S. and Canada. Now, I have no problem finding examples of invective by Yanks, but (like a typical Yank) I'm completely at a loss when it comes to the Great White North. I'd appreciate any pointers to good use of wicked language by Canadians (doesn't have to be obscene; cf. Twain's "Harte is a liar, a thief, a swindler, a snob, a sot, a sponge, a coward..."), old or new, online or off. Thanks!

I'm insulted! (I think.)

carsonb — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 11:20:22 -0800

Pardon if this is vulgar or offensive: What do "Mada chod" and "Bey shalam" mean? How is the latter a retort to the former? I just had an odd chat while playing a board game online. I was asked for my "asl plz" and told the guy to shut up and play (not too classy on my part, I admit.) he responded with "mada shod." I googled the phrase and got a general idea that it could be like calling someone a 'jerk,' but if anyone knows what the appropriate English translation is, I would appreciate knowing.

anyway, I skimmed the google results during the game and decided to try responding with "bey shalam" just for kicks. my opponent promptly apologized and we played on.

can anyone explain that exchange to me?

Who fired the first musical shot?

weirdoactor — Sat, 28 Jan 2006 18:17:22 -0800

[TriviaFilter] What could be considered the first insult/dis/call-out song? I was talking with a friend who is a big Neil Young fan; and we got to talking about the Lynyrd Skynyrd song "Sweet Home Alabama", which calls out Neil for his songs "Southern Man" and "Alabama". We tangentially started talking about the genesis of the insult/dis/call-out song, a popular past time in the rap world. Another example would be the Rainbo (aka Sissy Spacek) release, "You've Gone Too Far This Time, John"; referring to John Lennon and Yoko Ono's full-frontal cover for their "Two Virgins" album; but I'm not sure that was intended as insulting, but as a "shame on you". I didn't think that the practice was terribly popular outside of rap, but not knowing for sure, I started researching the topic.

This list was helpful, and that led me to this list. Unfortunately, these lists only catalog references, not insults. I still can't seem to get a definitive chronological picture of who was first. I should qualify my question; I'm only interested in songs that insult other singers/bands. Does anyone out there have an answer?

Is it misogynistic to use the "C-word?"

bunglin jones — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 21:43:11 -0800

Is it considered misogynous to use "the C-word" ? It had never even occured to me that it might be until my sister asked that I never use it as it was "so anti-women." At the right moment, it's SUCH a useful word, but I don't want to appear to be "anti-women", since I'm not . Is my sister's view unusual?

What's the origin of "all hat, no cattle"?

JollyWanker — Sun, 25 Jul 2004 16:54:50 -0800

I'm looking for the origin of the phrase former Governorof Texas Ann Richards used to describe George W. Bush, "All hat, no cattle." A cursory look has turned up the fact that it's a traditional Texan putdown, but I haven't been able to dig down any further to where it might have originated. Ideas? Similar local or regional putdowns?