Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with insult

Hive mind, please help me get my foot out of my mouth.

Anonymous — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 21:20:27 -0800

I´ve stupidly managed to insult a guy I´ve been seeing. By voicemail. Now he doesn´t want to see me again. Can I fix this? So I´m a woman (mid 30´s, but not a lot of capital-R relationship experience), and I have managed to get myself all twitterpatted, crushed-out, sexy brain chemicals that make you not think straight, over a man (late 30´s, hereafter referred to as ¨he¨ and ¨him¨) that I´ve been on about 8 dates or so with. He lives just far enough away that some of these have been planned as him visiting me or me visiting him, but probably too nearby to be considered long-distance.

Other instances of twitterpation on my part in recent years have involved guys that I have not actually managed to go on any dates with, so I feel like a dumb teenager about this whole thing. I generally go on dates with guys that I don´t really feel a ´spark´ for and had pretty much given up on getting that feeling out of dating ever again.

Things have been pretty much undefined in terms of what sort relationship we have exactly, and I have been trying to just enjoy time with him without worrying about if I would see him again (although last time we went out he did let me know we would go out again at some point), when that would be, etc. There´s been a consistent pattern for me of stressing out that I won´t hear from him again after I haven´t heard from him in 4 to 6 days. I realize that I´m under the effect of weird twitterpattion brain chemicals that are having an effect on my thinking and emotions, so I´ve generally been successful at chilling the hell out about this and telling myself that I just need to wait and see what happens, restraining myself from besieging him with more emails and phone calls.

Until yesterday, when I did something really stupid. I was frustrated that I hadn´t heard from him, called and left a message asking when I would see him again and saying something to the effect of that if he didn´t want to see me again I would find it more honorable if he would let me know. I continued this decent into idiocy by listing a few reasons he might not want to see me, including the possibility that he might have a girlfriend/old girlfriend (Oh, I´m not sure which one I said, and there´s a big big difference there) back where he used to live. I think I was thinking something along the lines of him getting back together with someone rather than it being a continuous thing, but I don´t remember if I said that. I wasn´t in a good emotional state to be making a phone call and I said a bunch of stupid things.

He called back later and left me a message stating that he had been just about to call me, was upset at the implications of my message, and didn´t want to see me again. I then left an apologetic message saying that I was sorry and shouldn´t have said what I did. Have not heard back from him but it would really be too soon to hear back at this point, but I think I have really made a doozy of a mistake here.

Is there anything I can do to fix this? I can´t unsay what I said, and I shouldn´t have said it. Is there anything I can do or say to make amends somehow?

Have I just made a mistake in getting to emotionally attached here, is it time to cut my losses and try to forget about him?

I don´t know any of his friends, and I am sure he would be very upset if I were to just show up at his house or something, so those are no avenues for a solution.

I really dislike the process of dating new people in general, this was a rare pleasant surprise. Perhaps I´m too stuck on solving this situation because of that? Should I just figure this is one of those painful learning experiences?

Why "scrub"?

dagnyscott — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 14:07:13 -0800

Why is "scrub" suddenly the most popular insult among 12-year-olds? It seems like I can't play World of Warcraft for 5 minutes any more without someone being called a "scrub". This has just happened in the past few months. I feel like I've walked into The Outsiders. WTF is up? What piece of popular culture am I missing here?

Help me diffuse a neighbour dispute...

gwenzel — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 09:05:14 -0800

I want to avoid a feud with my neighbour - what is the best way to go about doing this? Of course there's... Here's the background: I live in an upper-middle-class suburban neighbourhood. The neighbours are generally friendly, respectful people, with one exception - the people next door. They appear to be a nuclear family (mom, dad, two university-aged kids).

These people have assorted junk strewn about their yard (garbage cans, aquariums, etc) and their back deck is literally falling apart. In short, their back yard is an eyesore.

I could live with the back yard looking crappy, but a few years ago they left a rusted-out deep freeze sitting on their front driveway. After it was there for three weeks (!) I called the city's bylaw enforcement department, who came out and sent an official request that the junk be removed from their driveway (if they don't do it after the official request, they get fined). I know I should have just asked them to move the freezer before calling the city, but I didn't know them or want to have much to do with them.

This past weekend their son had friends over. One of the friends was kind enough to park his truck such that it was completely blocking my driveway. I was pissed off, went over and rang the doorbell, and asked that they have the truck moved. To their credit, the owner of the vehicle did move it right away, but I made sure that I voiced my displeasure about his poor parking decisions, pointing out that there were plenty of parking spots on the other side of the street that wouldn't block any driveways. The son and his friends came out, and seemed surprised that I was pissed off.

This morning I ran into the mom out front, and tried to ask her to remind their guests not to block my driveway. This deteriorated into a shouting match complete with assorted insults (going both ways) and several complaints from me about their yard, parking choices, etc. It became clear that these people don't like me because I called the bylaw people a few years ago (I knew they always suspected it was me, but I confirmed it for them this morning). The main insult that the mom had for me was to call me "a woman", which I found most ironic given her gender.

Anyhow, I've now calmed down and want to put this dispute behind me. I don't want this problem to escalate. Here's my plan:

- I will bring over a peace offering after work today, and sincerely apologize for calling the city before talking to them, and for any insult or offence I caused this morning and last weekend.

- If they don't accept the apology, I will leave the peace offering on their step, and let them know that they know where to find me if they want to put the dispute in the past.

After all that, here's my questions:

1) Is the above plan a good idea? Should I apologize ASAP, or wait a few days?

2) What is an appropriate peace offering in this situation? I was thinking something like a coffee gift basket or something similar?

3) The family is of Asian descent (Chinese, I think). Are there any cultural mores that I should know about that would let me handle this situation without creating more insults?

4) Any other advice from people who have had similar disputes? Any other advice at all?

If you ain't dutch, you ain't much.

tweak — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 13:14:29 -0800

Can anyone translate this? I believe I was just insulted in Dutch, but Babelfish isn't translating more than a word or two, and I don't know much. Dutch. Here is the message (from a game I have been playing online)
---------------

Subject: klote vent

Message: homo kutvent gatver klojo minne hond dorre struik lelijke aap goore vieze stinkerd

----------------

Does anyone here speak the language? Thanks! Also, is there anyway to say in Dutch 'sorry, that's just part of the game'?

Compared to him, you're... George Clooney?

Anonymous — Sun, 18 Sep 2005 22:26:56 -0800

My husband's not speaking to me. Was what I said really so bad? I was telling a story about my boss, who has macho jerk tendencies and never wants to show emotion. And I said to my hub, who is fairly reserved emotionally, "I mean, compared to him, you're practically Richard Simmons."

And that was that. He's not speaking to me, and I swear I don't get it. I was trying to make a point about my boss, not him, and yes, it was an exaggeration, but I tend to those.

All he'll say is, "Tell any married guy you know that story, and see what their reactions are. You'll understand."

So, be straight, I can take it.

Thumbing Your Nose at Ameslan

forrest — Wed, 01 Jun 2005 12:14:16 -0800

Does thumbing your nose have some hidden meaning in American Sign Language? Someone told me that, in ASL, putting the tip of your thumb to your nose with all fingers extended is the equivalent of suggesting that your co-conversationalist has sex with his/her maternal parent. This sounds BS to me, but I don't know ASL nor has Google yielded any clues. Anyone heard of this?