Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with insight

Long Term Relationship Advice

xopaigexo — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 22:51:53 -0800

Long Term Relationship Advice My boyfriend and I have been going out nearly 10 months. We have our ups and downs, not too many downs. We get along really well as we were good friends before dating but i still find that i learn new things about him all the time. Not really good or bad things, just things that make me realize how normal he is. (Not perfect like he seemed at the beginning, and not a a** like he seemed for a little while after that). Still, I wonder if he ever takes a step back and thinks about the relationship as a whole, like I do. I'm a deep thinker, and im also insightful of why other people act and say what they do. I dont really talk about these things with him, so I dont know if he does think about things deeply or not.
I brought this up because I got kinda upset with him tonight, and it made me think of something even bigger. But anyways, I got a bit upset with him because I've been with family and friends for the past few days, and so has he. i've been pretty busy, but I still make an effort to talk to him at night or in the morning, just to say hi or whatever. I'll text him (yeah i know texting is lame, dont give me hell about it), and he'll kinda give me a quick response, like he has something he wants to get back to, and then the conversations pretty much over. That's how it's been the past couple of days. I'm just really not used to it being like that, because generally we see each other almost every day. I tried talking about it with him tonight, saying that i feel dumb whenever im the only one trying to talk. I told him Im not mad, and that i want him to go enjoy his break, but that i just felt dumb because he would hardly respond to me. I tried to say what i meant so that he would understand that im not mad, which is what brought me to thinking if he thought in that way.
Then, he said to me, like it was no big deal,"Well maybe i didnt wanna talk?" He made it sound like it was completely normal, and maybe it is, i dont know, but i hate how he assumes that i completely and totally understand him. I try to spell things out for him when im upset because i know he doesn't completely understand me when im like that, though he thinks he knows me inside out. Of course, when he said he didn't feel like talking, i said without thinking,"Well text me when you feel like talking then." It felt dumb, having this debate over text message.
He's the kind of person who just goes with things mostly. I havent been able to be like that because of deadlines, alot of stress, etc. He has deadlines too but he just seems to take things like that so much better than i do.
I guess im asking a number of things right now. Do guys who are in long term relationships ever really step back and think of their relationship as a whole, or do they mostly just go with things? Is it normal for a guy to simply not want to talk? Why does my boyfriend just "assume" that i understand things without even telling me? (iffy) And one last: What should I do about the fact that I told him,"Text me when you feel like talking then"? I know I overthink things, I am OCD and keep it nearly all to myself, but what if he...doesn't? Should i just text him, or wait until he texts me? Im not very good at being upset with people, i hate anticipation...help?

Is l33tness acquirable?

gadha — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 16:45:51 -0800

Doing intellectual tasks. Does it ever become second nature? When do the insights begin to appear? I'm going to ask this question in my context, but I'm happy to receive input from anyone in any context.

I "do" computer science. This means I end up doing a lot of coding. I love what I do, and I would say (perhaps with bias) that I am better than average at it. But I'm not great. By great I mean it doesn't come as naturally as I think it should.

I'll illustrate with a couple of examples.
- Supposing I had to write a search routine, and I chose quicksort. I need to go lookup the algorithm and write it, it's not at the top of my head.
- Supposing I was writing a sort routine using brute force. I'd need to carefully check my boundary conditions made sense.
- Supposing I am setting a certain bit-pattern in memory. I need to visualise it paper (110110) and convert it to the hex equivalent.

I feel the difference between being good and being really good at what you do is to have these things naturally (empirical evidence noted from studying better people around me). Does this ever come? Can I make it come?

A second related question is, do I need this level of "quickness" for the clever insights to appear? While I can do very simple optimisations the more complex optimisations or clever tricks elude me. Overall I feel the basics should be things I don't have to think about if I'm to make any bigger contributions.

I suppose you could reword this question as "how do I become sharper/more skilled at what I do?"

Insight, the big brother, or bigger brother?

7life — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 10:17:10 -0800

BuyingCarFilter: Should I get Honda Insight, Prius, or Prius 3.0? So I test drove the Honda Insight a few days ago. Loved it. It's small, handles well, and cheap. Or so I thought. All the dealerships I went to tacked on 1-3 grand of "market adjusted value"

With the tacked on price, I really see no reason for getting the Insight over the Prius. I would go and get it right now, except for one thing: the 2010 Prius is coming out.

Nobody seems to know the exact date though I'm led to believe it's 6 weeks away. It's a brand new model and even if I don't get it, my reasoning would be that if I wait till it comes out, the 2009 model would drop in price.

So...should I wait? I personally have no problem waiting but my better half is itching to get a new car. Maybe by that time the Honda dealership would finally face reality and price the Insight the way Honda wants it in face of economic conditions and dropping hybrid demands (I'm rather fuming about this right now actually)

Thanks in advance for your input

What kind of car should we get?

arnicae — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 16:23:36 -0800

Used hybrid-filter: With ~10k to spend, in terms of upkeep costs and resale value should we buy a Honda Insight or a first gen Toyota Prius? We're in the market for a new (to us) car and can afford to spend around $10k. We may be able to do a little more for the right car.

We've looked at CR's fuel efficient used car page. CR claims the Insights get 51mpg, the 1st gen Priuses get 41mpg. We've tested a few Echo's but the older ones really have some problems, so they're out.

It looks like we can get a 7-8 y/o Insight/Prius for ~9k. It looks like we might be able to get a second gen Prius ('03, maybe '04) for 14k.

We live in the Bay area so there is a 'California premium' on all of the used hybrids available.

We know the Insights generally need a new battery pack at 150,000 miles which costs 3k, and that 1% of the first gen Priuses have had battery replacements for 2-3k, .3% of second gen Priuses have had battery replacements.

Any opinions on which of the cars will hold their value best and be the cheapest for upkeep? CR seems to give them all similar ratings except it considers the Insight pretty uncomfortable and difficult to get up to highway speeds. Would it be worth stretching outside our comfort zone to try to get a 2nd gen Prius? Thanks!

Atheist looking for inspiring -religion-free-please-!- references... (more inside)

Jireel — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 00:51:46 -0800

Atheist looking for inspiring -religion-free-please-!- references... as long as they don't involve any personified or anthropopmorphed Divinity. Following Can you think of any " " "daily devotional" " " or inspiring book for atheists, that one could pick up every single day and read from for a short moment in order to get a fresh start ?

I wondered if Unitarian universalists have any publications - any UU out there ? Philosophic writings work, maybe even Baha'i stories could, but even baha'ism is considered somehow religious

I thought of The Prophet, by Khalil Gibran.. and can't think of anything else apart from zen writings.
Any Ideas ? thanx

Quotes that offer insight?

quadog — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 10:44:00 -0800

What single quote is the best introduction (or accurately encapsulates) a philosophy, belief or conviction that you hold? Or alternately, a quote that describes something in a way that gives you a deeper understanding of a particular perspective that you may or may not endorse. I'm looking for a type of quote that articulates a view something, or lends insight. Perhaps it informs us of a familiar belief in a way we hadn't thought of before.

I need thoughtful Chicago insights!

Lieber Frau — Sun, 27 May 2007 12:41:00 -0800

I'm from Chicagoland. Me and my Canadian gal are soon moving from Toronto to the City of Big Shoulders so she can go to grad school there, and she's been asking me all kinds of questions about the character of the city. Though I consider myself a Chicagoan, I am embarrassingly tongue-tied. Please give me your insights on the character and atmosphere of the jewel of the Midwest! Pictures of architecture are lovely, but what do they end up really saying? We tried renting movies shot in Chicago, but invariably, they mostly focused on the money shots of the Wrigley Building, Sears Tower, Hancock Building, or swooping camera action over the Chicago River, completely eschewing more intimate representations of Chicago's great neighborhoods and history. Because I lived and went to school in Hyde Park, I can accurately describe that particular area to her, but even areas I frequented, like Wicker Park, Boystown, Andersonville, and Rogers Park are difficult for me to describe. She is a very observant woman who likes rich details, and most of the time, I am happy to provide them, but I'm having some trouble here. I have a few insights, but I'd like to gather more.

I would like to tell her what the residences are like, what attitudes people carry, how the idea of community plays itself out, how its industrial/social history figures into the present-day behaviors, what the art scene is like, how city planning figures into the general "feeling" there, how it compares and contrasts to Toronto or our previous home in Brooklyn, NY, how its issues with segregation manifest themselves, how you can generally expect to be treated, if many people are polite, laidback, neurotic, conservative, liberal, blue collar, white collar, etc. and just as many details as I can possibly cram in before we make this huge move.

Oh, and I encourage the use of metaphor and lyrical language.

Depressive Compulsive?!?!?!?!Then please help

eve28 — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 01:41:53 -0800

Is there such a thing as DEPPRESIVE COMPULSIVE? Is it something real? Chemical? What and why can't I stop feeling sad, depressed, inadequate? To just put it out there I am a depressive compulsive and I have been dealing with this thing MY WHOLE LIFE!!!!!Literally. I'm a 28 yr. old female, who had a very traumatic life, who has dealt with many therapists, written many journals, talked to friends, family, GOD, and hell, about a year and a half ago, I started taking Zoloft. I met a therapist, whom I liked very much, got on the pills, started to feel a little better, (at least for the moment) even though therapy was excrutiating EverY Single TimE!! I stayed with her for over 15 months. I could really trust her.

Later, like 7 weeks ago, I moved and although my rational mind knows that a transition such as moving cross-country is stressful and can take some time for adjustment, I am still feeling low. I know no pill is available to heal this illness 100 percent, but I am starting to believe that some people, me mostly, must be lacking some sort of chemical. A transmitter or receptor or something that gives me the power of happiness, motivation, dedication. Is it possible that these are genes that some of us have in our DNA and some do not? Or, am I just crazy. Look, I guess I just want to know what This is...Is it something that depression does to you? Is it a gene one holds in their DNA? Is it all chemical? Is it how close one is with God? WHAT is it?

I feel tired, I have sleepless nights, racing thoughts, hurtful images, tired, low, sad, I feel as if I wont make it because I have no idea what I want and where I'm going even though I have dreams and ideas. I have a job, not totally in love with it, but I do like it, yet at the same time, I am still keeping my options open. I also see faces as I am trying to sleep. Sometimes they are good, sometimes bad, sometimes indifferent. This has happened my whole life. I am not sure if anyone thinks I'm crazy, but I really don't care about that. All I care about is if someone out there is willing to give a helping hand and provide me with some insight.

I am looking for a legitimate answer here. Please do not forget I have had this my whole life. I can not get into all the details of my haunting past, but even if I could, a man once told me, "no one cares about your past and no one cares where your at.."So thats it any and all thoughts accepted, even if it hurts....