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Users that often use this tag:
Anonymous (37)
rhythm_queen (2)
themaskedwonder (2)

How can you recognize a secure person if you’re insecure?

Am I ruining a great relationship with my anxiety or am I anxious because my relationship is not great? Is there a way to tell the difference between irrational anxiety and alarm bells? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2014 - 9 answers

I will go down with this ship

How does an insecure person become a good manager? Is it possible? - [more inside]
posted by themaskedwonder on May 28, 2014 - 15 answers

Boyfriend's ex is seriously ill

My boyfriend's ex has leukemia. While she could recover if her bone marrow transplant is successful, there is a strong possibility that she could die. My boyfriend is very sad about her illness. This seems completely natural, and I want to be supportive. But at the same time, I am uncomfortable with what he has told me about his feelings. Are these feelings romantic? If not, how can I support him? [more inside]
posted by Triscuitier on May 27, 2014 - 40 answers

How to stop having crushes and/or stop feeling bad about them

Single woman in her late 20's here. I am in the habit of getting a crush on a new person 3-4 times a year, or basically every time I venture out into a new environment (new job, new activity, etc). When I'm not crushing on anyone or dating someone, I feel content with being single. (Actually when I am done dating someone it is a relief to be single!) I know getting crushes is normal. But they usually just make me feel bad. [more inside]
posted by picardythird on May 12, 2014 - 12 answers

Help me break this self-destructive cycle of insecurity and clinginess

I am a very insecure person (who is working on it, in therapy/in recovery/rocking it). I get in these head spaces where I feel crippling insecure, especially with my boyfriend. I want verbal validation from him, but my asking for it makes him feel pressured. When he feels pressured, he gets distant, and then I feel even more insecure. We both know this is happening. What tricks can we use to make it stop before it gets out of hand? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 7, 2014 - 12 answers

What is it that people want when they give you the silent treatment?

I am currently getting the silent treatment from a friend/my roommate. I know that I offended her, and I have apologized, but she still just sort of glances at me when I come in a room and then goes back to doing whatever she was doing before. I have never encountered this kind of behavior from anyone before, and I am not sure how to respond, or if I should respond. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 39 answers

Anxious jealous insecure EEEEEEEJASFADF​JKLSAJKFLSDJ!!

What are some things I can do to 'work on' my anxiety? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Apr 14, 2014 - 20 answers

Von Neumann I am not

I’ve spent my 20s building a BS “identity” as an “analytical type of person". Help me grow up. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 29, 2014 - 10 answers

I feel unable to participate in a normal, healthy dating relationship.

I am 34 years old, and for the first time in my life, I am embarking on a 'normal' relationship. My insecurities are causing me extreme anxiety, and I'd like your stories and insight and tips on what I might be being realistic about, and what I'm not. Apologies for a long explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2014 - 29 answers

Insecurity over partner's ex-boyfriend who dumped her

I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year, and we are really in love. A few months into the relationship I discovered some diaries etc of her, which I know I should never have read, but did. I discovered how obsessed she was for years about an ex that dumped her and who she idealised, and now I really need some help to get out of this rut of insecurity and jealousy which I have created for myself. [more inside]
posted by lichen on Mar 6, 2014 - 32 answers

Hey look at me!

I am fascinated and more then a little curious about self-promotion. Not the kind that you use to get hired or promote a new project or in a professional way, more of the spectacular kind of like the Xmas letter variety where everyone and all is so super great, but not just limited to that. [more inside]
posted by lasamana on Jan 4, 2014 - 27 answers

What are good fashion choices for an overweight male?

I am a 29-year old, 230 lb male, living just outside of Toronto. I would really like to update my wardrobe but feel completely lost. I have tried looking up various stores and so on to see if any of their product catches my imagination, but it mostly seems tailored toward people who are in excellent shape, and I am tired of putting off looking good until I lose weight. [more inside]
posted by jamincan on Dec 1, 2013 - 13 answers

I never want to cry about my body again.

I'm 21, got both legs and arms, a working brain, am decently attractive and completely healthy. I have periodic crashes where I whole-heartedly despise certain parts of my body and fall into deep despair. What can I do to help avoid these crashes? I am seeing a counselor and she's been helpful in that regard. I ask: other than therapy, when did YOU stop giving a crap about your bodily imperfections? And what's helpful to you when you do start needlessly worrying? [more inside]
posted by rhythm_queen on Nov 30, 2013 - 50 answers

The ethics/practicalities of an older woman dating a younger male virgin

[This post contains somewhat graphic descriptions of our intimate experiences and sexual topics generally, so if you are sensitive or perhaps at work it is good to know that.] I am in my early 30s and my new boyfriend is in his mid 20s. I am the first woman he has ever dated, the third he has ever kissed and if we progress in the relationship I will be the first he has ever had sex with. He is a phenomenal human being and I can hardly believe how lucky I am to know him let alone get the chance to have a relationship with him. I am worried about a few things, however and want to weigh them carefully before proceeding any further. [more inside]
posted by telomere on Sep 16, 2013 - 36 answers

Someone I love has intense insecurity issues - how can I help them?

I ended my LTR a few weeks ago, but can't shake the feeling that I'm abandoning someone in their hour of need, so to speak. My ex was a delightful person, but suffered from the most bizarre and extreme inferiority complex I have ever witnessed. (It was so bad at times that he would sometimes escape from parties by exiting through a window in a back room somewhere.) It got to the point where his behavior was starting to wear me down, and things unraveled from there, but it tears me up to think that he'll no longer have someone to help him stave off his self-loathing tendencies. [more inside]
posted by Teradactyl on Aug 27, 2013 - 29 answers

Did I fuck up? How shall I do it differently next time?

I'm in the post break-up re-evaluation phase ('bargaining' phase in the grieving process?). I veer between feeling I tried my best while also holding onto ways I could have done things differently while dealing with our core problem to feeling that I fucked up majorly and just lost a potentially fantastic life-partner. While par for course this state of affairs is I believe, this is really eating me and I would be grateful for some perspective. [more inside]
posted by drummergirl80 on Aug 12, 2013 - 17 answers

Current boyfriend has lots of female friends...and I'm bothered...

Have you ever dated someone with several friends of the opposite sex? What about someone who is friends with many of their exes and still keeps up regular contact with them? He's given me no reason not to trust him, but I'm still hung up on this. Is it just a matter of me working on my insecurity? Or should he be changing his behavior? More details inside... [more inside]
posted by singinginmychains on Jun 11, 2013 - 57 answers

"Validate meeee"

How to be a better friend to a very insecure person. [more inside]
posted by sockandawe on Mar 26, 2013 - 18 answers

Is there a way I can nip my depressive moods in the bud?

I have major depression, and I am receiving treatment. However, I am still not master of my own mood, and now I would like some specific tips, pointers and ideas on how to stop myself from harassing my poor husband about imaginary problems. [more inside]
posted by ADent on Mar 8, 2013 - 15 answers

I want to bring something interesting/attractive/appealing to the table

Help me process my post-foursome thoughts about being less interesting or sexy than the other participants. [more inside]
posted by A Special Kind of Weird on Feb 19, 2013 - 24 answers

Am I a bad person trying to control my partner?

Am I a terrible person? My partner and I have been dating for 3.5 years, living together for one. In that time, he's cut off contact with two of his friends who were also significant exes. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2013 - 38 answers

I have two questions related to my mental health.

I'm 24, and I live in the suburbs a half-hour north of Boston. I'm about to get health insurance that includes mental care. I don't know how the private healthcare system works. How should I get a mental-health diagnosis? What doctors and therapists in the area could help me with whatever problems I may have? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Rustic Etruscan on Feb 1, 2013 - 8 answers

TIRED of being a virgin!

I'm a 20 year old girl, and I've never been in a relationship. I feel weird about that. Where do I meet guys, apart from school, and how do I get more confidence? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 17, 2013 - 19 answers

I like to draw. I fear I suck. Thus, paralyzed.

Creative wibble: Feel like I could do some cool stuff but crippled by insecurity and thus don't sit down and DO IT. Hope me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2012 - 14 answers

Why am I so hung up on this?!

I am heterosexual. During a party, I was asked by a roommate if I was gay. This is not the first time - I need help navigating my insecurity regarding my sexuality. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 22, 2012 - 52 answers

Need non-therapy therapies.

I need therapy for really bad and unwarranted relationship jealousy and insecurity but I wouldn't be able to get started until sometime late January. What would be some alternatives I could pursue in the meantime? [more inside]
posted by TheManChild2000 on Nov 30, 2012 - 13 answers

How to get over insecurity about boyfriend's divorce?

What can I do to stop insecurity from boyfriend's from seeing into our relationship? The divorce isn't final, and it's placing a strain on our relationship. I'm afraid that my anger/confusion/fear may sabotage the relationship. [more inside]
posted by lastcall17 on Oct 28, 2012 - 14 answers

I want to love sex again!

Help me regain my sexual confidence, after some bad experiences. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 27, 2012 - 27 answers

Please help me to see if I'm overreacting or not...

My boyfriend and I met with a female friend of his last night, and he started behaving very uncharacteristically distant with me while we were with her. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill or was something more going on? [more inside]
posted by chatelaine on Oct 24, 2012 - 25 answers

Dealing with insecurity in the BDSM/poly life

BDSMfilter: Newbie male bottom + experienced poly top = insecurity vortex! Help! [more inside]
posted by RockPuppet on Oct 22, 2012 - 13 answers

Feeling like a fraud when faced with compliments about my looks: How to Deal

How do I stop from feeling like I am a fraud (because I have a lot of flaws) when people tell me I'm physically beautiful? This insecurity in my looks/my reaction to compliments is affecting my life in a lot of ways. I'd appreciate any and all advice on how to deal with this! [more inside]
posted by rhythm_queen on Aug 30, 2012 - 67 answers

New relationship jitters?

Please help me be happy about my new relationship and stop nitpicking every little thing. [more inside]
posted by heavenstobetsy on Aug 3, 2012 - 12 answers

How can I give romantic relationships a different place in my life?

How can I give romantic relationships a different place in my life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2012 - 24 answers

Help me be less insecure

Insecure as hell. Hope me [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Jun 23, 2012 - 33 answers

What is normal and how do I minimize any discomfort?

Are my boundaries "normal" or oversensitive, and should I apply them to this person I am soon to meet? Supersnowflakery within. [more inside]
posted by thrasher on Jun 3, 2012 - 18 answers

Does any woman want to date a woman with no experience?

I'm a woman who identifies as queer and is out about it. Until now has mostly dated and had sex with men. I have always been more attracted to women though, and do not want to date guys any more as I just do not have the same romantic feelings and it turns out badly for everyone involved. But I am scared no woman will ever want to date me because of my lack of history dating women and my lack of confidence in talking to them. Apologies for the length. [more inside]
posted by Hey nonny nonny mouse on Jun 2, 2012 - 16 answers

How to deal with neediness in a relationship?

How can I deal with neediness in the early stages of a relationship? [more inside]
posted by peterf12 on Apr 15, 2012 - 16 answers

"why, what a remarkably self possessed young woman"

What are specific things have you done that have improved your self-esteem and confidence? [more inside]
posted by geegollygosh on Mar 16, 2012 - 40 answers

Not sure if it's trust or communication that's the problem here.

If my boyfriend says he's coming home late by txt, and I want to know more basic information, like who he's hanging out with, maybe also where, how can I communicate my need to know (for my own peace of mind) without coming off as insecure or controlling? [more inside]
posted by Sa Dec on Jan 27, 2012 - 86 answers

How do I overcome procrastination when it comes to difficult subjects?

Help me deal with this particular procrastination/brain paralysis problem around doing difficult schoolwork. [more inside]
posted by hought20 on Jan 25, 2012 - 10 answers

Help me stop freaking out at my bf

Help me conquer my insecurity in relationships! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 13, 2012 - 22 answers

Why do I have to hang up first?

Help me figure out and overcome my instinct to distance myself from my SO. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 6, 2011 - 19 answers

god I hate dating.

A kind of inane dating question about whether I got blatantly blown off by a guy or whether I'm completely overreacting. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 5, 2011 - 43 answers

I Feel So Average

I feel so average and uninteresting. What can I do to remedy this situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2011 - 22 answers

just please don't hate me more

I would like some help in dealing with my insecurities. How can I ask it from my loved ones without coming across as selfish or annoying? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 6, 2011 - 21 answers

First Time Dating Blues.

How do I overcome insecurity in the first stages of a possible (first) relationship? [more inside]
posted by themaskedwonder on Mar 20, 2011 - 14 answers

It's not a zero-sum game, guys.

My partner is very liberal and effusive with compliments. I am generally much more reticent. When I realize that he has said the same things to others that he has to me, I can't help but feel like those compliments are now devalued, and that his esteem of me can't possibly be as high as he says it is. [more inside]
posted by Be cool, sodapop on Feb 26, 2011 - 15 answers

"If we ever create a sport whereby monkeys fling poo at one another, and there's one dedicated supporter, there's a solid chance that shit will hit the fan."

What are some things you like to tell or remind yourself about when you have "woe is me" moments to steer yourself out of self-pity/moments of weakness and back into awesomeness?
posted by Christ, what an asshole on Feb 16, 2011 - 55 answers

Am I being too sensitive? Valentine's Day stupidity inside.

How should I be interpreting this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 15, 2011 - 63 answers

What exactly do you do to "work on a relationship"

I want to salvage my relationship but am not really sure of the nuts and bolts of rebuilding trust and commitment. If we want to be able to say we gave it our best shot, what does that look like in practical terms? [more inside]
posted by Pomo on Dec 30, 2010 - 14 answers

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