70 posts tagged with inlaws.
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Advice for long road trip with baby and young child?

Please help me and my sweet, innocent children survive a 2-day road trip. Kids are ages about one and preschool age. We will be staying with family as well, so any advice for navigating a potentially dealing with the usual type of slightly obnoxious in-law difficulties is also welcome. How do you make time for yourself or find time to relax during stressful family visits? Is that even possible? Posting anonymously because spouse sometimes read mefi and I prefer they don't know exactly how much I'm dreading this trip. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2016 - 13 answers

Family negativity

I'm technically not married, but my boyfriend and I are in a very committed relationship (we bought a house together, adopted two dogs together, and I foresee no separation in our future). Anywho. My boyfriend happens to be a twin. As you can imagine, he and his twin brother are very close. Problem is, I can't say that I share the same affection for the twin as my boyfriend does. In fact, I find it very difficult to be around both him and his wife. They are quite negative people. I feel like if the four of us (me, boyfriend, twin, twin's wife) were all in a difficult situation, twin and wife would be the first to point out everything that was going wrong. As you can imagine, it's pretty emotionally draining to be around them for extended periods of time. [more inside]
posted by Teradactyl on Aug 2, 2016 - 27 answers

Me vs. My husband's family

I just had a big blow up with my husband's "mother" and while he's taken my side, the more I think about it, the more it seems his story doesn't hold up, and I feel he kind of provoked the argument, but maybe not on purpose. Looking back, this seems to be a pattern. [more inside]
posted by serenity_now on Jul 30, 2016 - 55 answers

How do I deal with my in-laws' rejection of my veganism?

I've been vegetarian for 25 years; mostly vegan for 4-5. I don't claim to be vegan but I don't eat or cook meat (I am our family's homemaker). Almost all of my friends/relatives are not vegetarian or vegan. Most are fairly considerate when sharing a meal. Whenever I share a meal with my in-laws however, there is little consideration of my veganism, and most of the food includes meat. How can I deal with the perceived hostility, and how can I get enough to eat? [more inside]
posted by mrgrimm on May 2, 2016 - 76 answers

interesting family composition.

So my partner has an interesting family that we cannot, sort of, steer around or clear of since they live practically next door (small village) and the father in law is ticking me off something extreme. [more inside]
posted by xcasex on Apr 21, 2016 - 29 answers

Help me avoid the WASP trap.

My super-rich, super-WASPy, tangential in-laws, have invited us to stay with them for a few days. I do not understand their ways and am terrified of making some huge social faux pas and creating offense I don't understand that will last for forty years. What do I wear? What do I say? How do I avoid weird undercurrents? Please advise! [more inside]
posted by corb on Apr 13, 2016 - 105 answers

resources for troubled in-law relations?

Yeah, I know, in-law problems are so common as to be a cliche. But I don't want my family to be a cliche! The resources I've found on in-law relationships have typically been super conservative/religious, or deal with highly toxic and dramatic situations (which ours isn't), or are mostly parenting-focused (we don't have kids). Surely someone has written a book or a blog about in-law issues that are mostly about clashing personalities and priorities? [more inside]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese on Dec 28, 2015 - 23 answers

I need a fabulous gift for my future in-laws

During my upcoming trip to Japan, I will be staying with my boyfriend's parents. Please help me get them a gift that says "thank you for taking the trouble of having me, and I'm the perfect daughter-in-law." [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Oct 12, 2015 - 13 answers

Parent inviting their friends to our wedding

My fiancé and I are planning on having a smallish wedding, and we are organizing it relatively quick (only 7 months in all). We cut our invite list down to 45 guests and found a perfect reception hall that provides catering (cocktails and sit-down dinner) for a maximum of exactly 45 guests. Yay, perfect! Beautiful location, great prices, and no need to find a caterer. Until his father announced that he is inviting 5 guests . . . . [more inside]
posted by Blissful on Aug 17, 2015 - 50 answers

Grandparents hate us, want to continue loving baby. Now what?

My husband's parents are the only grandparents my child see regularly (we live in his country rather than mine) have decided that they no longer want a relationship with us. They do, however, want to continue their bi-weekly visits to see the baby which I would be "hosting". We don't want to cut them off, but I am not enthused. Reassurance and tips on navigating this requested. I am so confused!! [more inside]
posted by jrobin276 on Aug 12, 2015 - 92 answers

LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear you!!

It's the same old story, partner loves his parents, they make me a little crazy (and I think make him unhappy). Help me better understand them, and their family dynamic, so I can better navigate the minefield, watch out for potential negative affects on my children, not let their negative patterns become our negative patterns, help my husband be his happiest self and not let it make me a neurotic mess. [more inside]
posted by pennypiper on Jul 7, 2015 - 12 answers

Partying with ex-in-laws, sans the ex

I'm planning a #MEDIA-themed party. Some of my current siblings-in-law would totally dig this and it would be fun to have them there - we're all on good terms. However, I absolutely do not want my almost-ex (divorce proceedings underway) present. Is there any acceptable way to invite them but not the ex?
posted by anonymous on Jul 2, 2015 - 27 answers

You're family! Just not, you know, my family.

I got married last weekend. Yay! Now I'm trying to navigate my relationship with my husband's stepmother. Boo. [more inside]
posted by ann_disaster on Jun 30, 2015 - 32 answers

Making International Jetlag + Inlaw Visits less yucky

About once a year, my family and I travel internationally to visit my spouse's family. I am horribly affected by jetlag (both mine, and our preschooler's) and the intense visiting. This is steadily putting a strain on my relationship with my partner, since we have pretty gnarly arguments during the visit. Since I think it is important that we continue to do these visits -- for my husband to maintain relationships "back home" as well as our daughter to foster relationships with her relatives -- I need some help modifying my behavior/tips for making these visits less yucky. [more inside]
posted by Ham_On_Rye on Jun 17, 2015 - 25 answers

Engaged in vicious war with partner's identical twin. Break up now?

I live with my partner and their identical twin. The twin and I want to murder each other. One of us has to move out. My relationship is going well for now, but I can't guarantee it will last, and I don't want to come between them. On the other hand, this conflict is definitely the twin's fault, and my partner and I would not be breaking up this soon otherwise. Who should go: me or the twin? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 22, 2015 - 33 answers


Can you recommend some classic or contemporary jazz albums with the same aesthetic as Sun Ra's "Sleeping Beauty"? [more inside]
posted by stinkfoot on Dec 22, 2014 - 9 answers

I would like to be invited back next year...

I'll be spending my second Christmas with my boyfriend's lovely family, and want to get them a gift they'll enjoy. Unfortunately, I don't know them that well, and feel pretty stuck. Deets inside. [more inside]
posted by i_am_a_fiesta on Dec 9, 2014 - 16 answers

Father in law insulted me

Is it time to chat with my father in law about how he feels in regards to my income and supporting his daughter? [more inside]
posted by ljs30 on Sep 16, 2014 - 51 answers

I want to hear about your weird yummy pizza orders!

My in-laws order pizza a lot. They love it. Some people pepperoni, some just cheese. No matter what I do, it's always dry bread with cheese and grease. I'm even getting tired of Hawaiian style, my favorite. Help me innovate more pizza ideas! [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on Aug 19, 2014 - 90 answers

How do I stand up to my father-in-law?

My father-in-law is hard to get along with and demanding. I really don't like being around the guy, and quite honestly neither does my wife. He wears us both down. My wife does want a relationship with her mother though, and so we both endure family dinners from time to time. We usually put them off as long as possible until it is unavoidable. There is only so many times we can decline until we feel like we are being jerks. We have largely handled these dinners by ignoring and/or giving in to my father-in-law. Now we have a child, and I want to stand up for us. How? [more inside]
posted by ohjonboy on Apr 28, 2014 - 37 answers

Wow, it's beautiful, please can I take it back?

For a sentimental family occasion, my inlaws got me a very sweet present of some expensive jewelry-- after being told very clearly that I don't like expensive jewelry and don't really wear it. How terrible would it be (politically, ethically, relationally) if I were to return the item in question to the store? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2013 - 60 answers

Other than Naomi and Ruth...

What are some stories (real/historical or fictional) about good mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships that I can read? [more inside]
posted by peacrow on May 30, 2013 - 2 answers

How should I address my soon to be in-laws?

I have no idea how to address my in-laws. Please help. [more inside]
posted by reenum on Apr 25, 2013 - 25 answers

Is my boyfriend's mom trolling me?

I received a gift from my boyfriend's mother that is at best in poor taste and at worst extremely offensive. How do I proceed? Super-fun cultural/religious beanplating inside. [more inside]
posted by coppermoss on Mar 28, 2013 - 99 answers

How do I put my negative feelings aside about an upcoming vacation?

My husband (A)'s family (parents, brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew) are going on a trip in a couple of weeks. The trip has been planned for months, and he and I had decided long ago that it wasn't going to work for us this year. Yesterday, A. decided he wants to go. There are no hotel rooms available. We will have to stay on the pull out couch in his parent's room. I could use a reality check. Longer explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by mary, queen of socks on Mar 11, 2013 - 52 answers

The mom of my ex wants to get in touch... what now?

Out of the blue, the mom of my ex-boyfriend (whom I thought I was just starting to get over with) wants to reconnect, but without his knowledge (we haven't been keeping in touch since Christmas). She wants to have "a little chat" -- when I pressed for details, she said only to keep in touch whenever I find myself in town. As well-intentioned as she may be, I feel this is quite manipulative of her due to the context of our breakup and I'm not sure how to respond, if I should, and if I should go ahead and meet up with her (I'm half-scared of being ambushed and reprimanded -- because she wants his sister to tag along on this chat, too -- plus I feel I'll be complicit in the mother's going behind my ex's back, whatever the outcome). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 19, 2013 - 81 answers

How can I support my husband while he sets boundaries with his family?

How do I best support my partner when he sets boundaries with his passive-aggressive family, particularly when the boundaries are about how they've been treating me? Wall of text, with bonus holiday drama, inside! [more inside]
posted by SeedStitch on Dec 26, 2012 - 38 answers

Why can't I just get over this?

How do I get more onboard with my in-laws' presence in my life? [more inside]
posted by agress on Dec 16, 2012 - 37 answers

What to do about my mother in law and her parenting?

My Mother-in-law is sending her children to my house as punishment and it makes me very uncomfortable and I need help figuring out how to get her to stop. [more inside]
posted by julie_of_the_jungle on Aug 15, 2012 - 43 answers

Please help me negotiate with this family that I am now a part of

So, my inlaws are visiting, I'm not sure how to iron the details out with my SO. We have very different ideas about how this should transpire. I am also having trouble dealing with the culture of their family I'm trying to be as short as possible. Thanks. [more inside]
posted by ibakecake on Aug 6, 2012 - 41 answers

Tips for living with inlaws?

Tips for living with inlaws? [more inside]
posted by oink on Jul 22, 2012 - 11 answers

How to let go of anger?

How to let go of anger? [more inside]
posted by DeltaForce on Jun 20, 2012 - 38 answers

Mother-in-law triggering PTSD

How do I keep sane when my mother-in-law does crazy things? [more inside]
posted by mild deer on Feb 17, 2012 - 43 answers

Aunt In-Law Once Removed?

What do you call your brother-in-law's mom? [more inside]
posted by janelikes on Jan 10, 2012 - 36 answers

How do I deal with an unwanted Christmas guest?

My brother-in-law may be back on drugs, or possibly beginning to show symptoms of mental illness. He's recently become verbally abusive to my mother-in-law. He's also been invited up for Christmas with the rest of the in-laws. Of course, things are complicated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 7, 2011 - 23 answers

Making My Own Misery

I need some wisdom to get the chip off my shoulder. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2011 - 54 answers

Seeking long term advice for dealing with "asker" in-laws as a life-long "guesser."

Seeking long term advice for dealing with "asker" in-laws as a life-long "guesser." [more inside]
posted by anony moose on Nov 22, 2011 - 24 answers

How to handle a cheating in-law?

My MIL is having an affair, is not being smart about it and I don't know how to be around her now. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 15, 2011 - 33 answers

Von Dune'll Getcha if You Don't Watch Out!

My in-laws are in town and are arguing about a weird family story/old news story. Help me get to the bottom of this! [more inside]
posted by coppermoss on Oct 8, 2011 - 7 answers

SO and I are at an impasse regarding his parents' behavior towards me.

SO and I are at an impasse regarding his parents' behavior towards me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 2, 2011 - 50 answers

Mother-in-law troubles

I need some help regarding my prospective mother-in-law's involvement in our lives. [more inside]
posted by smockpuppet on Sep 12, 2011 - 24 answers

How to cope with being hated by in-laws?

How to cope with being hated by in-laws? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 10, 2011 - 41 answers

I will not let this cycle of stupid behavior continue.

Met the parents. They're crazy. Need to develop strategies to cope and set clear and unavoidable bondaries NOW before the cycle of stupid and exploitative behavior continues. [more inside]
posted by These Birds of a Feather on Jul 6, 2011 - 45 answers

Is it ever okay to go behind your wife's back?

My wife doesn't get along with my sister. My sister is graduating. My wife discovers that I am buying her a graduation gift without her knowledge. She is upset I went behind her back. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2011 - 71 answers

Help me figure out how to get along.

Help me make the most of a beach vacation with my future in-laws. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 28, 2011 - 31 answers

Help me enjoy Boxing Day with my in-laws (more) this year.

Help me enjoy Boxing Day with my in-laws (more) this year. [more inside]
posted by braemar on Dec 25, 2010 - 12 answers

Reality check, please!

Mother in law invited herself on vacation, I'm not happy. Am I being unreasonable? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 14, 2010 - 34 answers

Fed up.

Help me understand/deal with my in law's [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2010 - 33 answers

My wife's parents are separating.

How can I be most helpful & supportive to my wife as her parents go through a trial separation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2010 - 7 answers

Why can't I win even if I win?

When you "win" an argument with your spouse, it's not really winning, or is it? [more inside]
posted by abdulf on Sep 17, 2010 - 47 answers

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