Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with inheritance

Am I crazy to offer a gift of financial planning services to my cousins?

RecalcitrantYouth — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 05:10:13 -0800

My Aunt, Uncle and cousins have never been good with money, and have also never had well paying jobs. My Uncle has just inherited a (low) six-figure sum. Do I try to help them out by offering to build a financial plan for them? I'm a well-off thirty-something professional, with some accounting and finance training. My Aunt and Uncle are in their fifties, and the cousins are in their twenties and still living at home. From what I can tell, they have lived paycheque to paycheque for years. They own a home rather than renting, but that is mainly because of an earlier inheritance (and the home is not paid off). Without help, I fear that they will fritter away this latest windfall, and there's no more inheritance money to come.

They live about two hours away from me, so most of the planning work (other than an initial consultation) would be by phone or email.

I'd like to help them out, but I'm afraid it's just a recipe for unhappiness and family strife. Has anyone tried this before? Did it work out well or poorly? Any other ideas for ways to help?

Fuck death

Bageena — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:58:49 -0800

Both of my wife's parents died. Her dad first in January, now her mom in September. My wife is the oldest child. No will was left. What do we do? I tried this question before but I put way too much information on it and I had to get it removed. I thought we'd figured out what steps to take, but we're back at square one. There's several properties, several vehicles, life insurance policies, monies in bank accounts, bonds, et cetera. My questions are;
1. Is there any way to do this without a lawyer?
2. If not, is there cheap or free legal counsel I can find online or where we live, in Arizona?
3. What should we be expecting in the way of hurdles? Probate, taxes, things like that.

I don't know. I'm hyper-depressed. I really didn't want to handle all of this shit and with all the family in-fighting, I wish the state would take it all. However, my wife has a vested interest I guess, so here I am. Please help Mefi.

(I'm in AZ)
(If your an attorney who can help me, please, by all means, drop me an e-mail)

How to get on track to make major life decisions with the best outcome for me and my son?

stormpooper — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 08:16:29 -0800

Major life decisions thrown my way. Feeling totally inept at making a good decision. Any ideas on how to sort it out and get on track? All at once three major decisions have been thrown my way since the birth of our son.
1. my mother has terminal cancer and my father has a history of major cardiac issues. Essentially their time is almost up (esp. my mom). They have to update their will/trust but are calling me daily on how to word it since they hate (and that is describing it lightly) my husband and don't want him to get the money and what to know what I'm doing about my future with him. They are caught on the beneficiaries (me and my son and maybe future children?) and I just don't know how to answer it because of issue #2.

2. I'm in limbo on what to do with my marriage. We have a 10 month old son who is our whole life. But since his birth, it is like I had an eye opening experience. My husband and I don't have a real partnership and/or future together. I am the only one saving for a 401k, savings, managing bills, etc. but can do little else because he doesn't make enough with his own business to participate but he also doesn't try or think about ways to improve it.

Same goes with a college fund for our son. I figured to transfer his formula expense over to a college fund when he's done eating formula. My husband doesn't think of those things.

His business is not thriving very well and the income fluctuates way too much. It's not like he isn't trying but you can't make people buy and you can't make people pay an invoice on time. He spits profits with partners and is going back and forth about going on his own.

My point is that his business has had huge ups ad downs for 8 years and now we have a child and I want him to get a regular job (keep his business on the side). He won't. Get a 2nd job. He won't. Sell some luxuries we really don't need. He won't. Let's talk about our future and how to get things in line so we have one (we're nearly 40 for Christ's sake). He won't.

In short I hear that I stress him out. In an attempt to reach out I outlined my feelings in an email to him and he said he disagrees with everything I outlined (like the points above). He gets very defensive and all I hear is everything is my fault/making mountains out of moehills. The final straw is I'm begging him to go to marriage therapy since me going alone is stupid and pointless. He feels that therapy only goes in circles and causes fights. My therapist is very anti-divorce and sees it as a worse scenario for me and my son.

I don't know what to do. He can be amazingly supportive, caring, loving, fun, etc. But the practical side aligning with my wants and beliefs aren't matching up at all and I, and many of my friends/parents/his parents/siblings feel he will NEVER change (let's live life like a partner and create a solid future instead of this circling day to day, paycheck to paycheck crap).

Divorce is expensive (I make more), scary, and a huge hassle esp. with a son involved. I'm scared and confused. I don't want to scar my son since I worry about making sure we both remain adults in handling his care. (I am more level headed but he knows how to push my buttons). It breaks my heart that I"m trying to make a better life for everyone yet if I divorce, I have to split birthdays/holidays/time with my son.

And to create a future for myself? I feel I can't fix our problems--financially, romantically, etc. How the hell am I going to do it on our own? How can I raise an emotionally healthy child who has a solid, determined, good future away from drugs, picking the right crowd, throwing tantrums, going to college, experience life abroad, getting a good job, etc?

And if I chose such a husband who we always had big ups and downs with, who will be the next person I choose? I'm terrified of picking someone with a gambling problem, an abuser, a drug addict, someone else who has no goals, etc.

I just feel I can't make these decisions yet I have to. My parents' inheritance is the only guarantee for a future for me and our son--in a marriage or alone. Yet my husband has always been incredibly dumb with money and pushes me into really bad financial decisions (HELOC where we had to refi with a cash out!) and never thinks ahead. They've been discussing to give it all to my son and that leaves me out of any retirement or even buying a house if I did divorce.

3. Who would you recommend seeing to get daily financial advice from. For example, I need someone to help me set a financial budget for daily life and how to achieve life goals like retirement, paying off credit cards, contributing to college, paying off my home, etc. A CPA? My Fidelity investment manager can't answer our financial budget "this is how you need to live life daily and for x amount of years". He just said "you need an emergency fund first." Um no shit. How do I get there when we have major bills and it feels like pay check to pay check?

Where do I start on figuring out point A-Z with the best outcome? Therapy isn't helping jack. My parents are dying and were never a good example to follow in marriage advice (they live in a very abusive/dysfunctional relationship).

I just feel like I'm in my late 30s with a son, married yet doing everything alone and wrong.

Very sorry for the length of this but appreciate some advice.

What do we do with a 140k inheritance?

veritas — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:39:03 -0800

We live in San Diego. We have 140k in cash after an inheritance, a mobile home we can't afford, crappy jobs, and have never had this much money ever. How do we best invest this money? My husband and I grew up in San Diego - it's expensive, the schools are terrible... but there's lots of parks, great beaches, and we have good friends here. We're 22+23 - he's in college double time for massage therapy and I'm working as an admin/personal assistant. Right now, we're the usual poor college students - I pull in about 20k a year after taxes.

The Good: We have no debt except for his school which is a $400 a month payment debited from our account. There's 8k left on his school. We're both healthy, have a huge mobile home that was also left to us, no kids. We used part of the money to get a reliable car, so that's not a problem.

The Bad: We live in one of the worst neighborhoods in town, paying $700-900 space rent + utilities on the mobile home. We both have to drive about an hour each way for work/school. We have no health insurance, and after bringing all our debts to the bare minimum, we're still in the hole 600 every month. We have someone moving into the extra bedroom soon, but that will only let us break even. We doubt we'll be able to sell the house, because there's a dozen others for sale that haven't sold, including one across from us for 29k, which is cheaper than some cars.

Our options, so far, seem to be buy a house in a crappy/still far away area (El Cajon, Lakeside, City Heights) which would use up all our saved up money, or rent a place (presumably prepaying the rent, because we just don't have credit histories), get a second car, and invest the rest in retirement/savings and making our lives better (buying clothes for once in our lives, a second car). I checked some of the other inheritance posts, but none quite dealt with this large a sum.

Does my dad's will override POD designation?

Anonymous — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 12:11:53 -0800

My dad's accounts are designated POD (payable on death) to me. Is that overriden by his listing of those accounts in his total assets, which his will divides among me and others, and which will is going to take some time to execute? My dad's estate is going to be complicated and take some time -- there's several apartments which will have to be liquidated in order to execute the will, which is set up 3/12ths of total assets to me, 1/12th to 9 other people IIRC.

He did name me as POD (payable on death) on his bank accounts. My understanding is that this bypasses the probate process -- I just show up with ID and death certificate and the bank turns over the accounts.

These are checking accounts whose balance fluctuated, but are small (<1%) compared to the total estate. I could use some cash right now to keep me in cellphone service and cigarettes.

However, he included those accounts in the listing of assets attached to his will. Specifically, he had a spreadsheet printout with those accounts' balances at the time, the appraised values of apartments, IRA and money market account balances, etc. I'm not sure if he filed updated versions with his lawyers each year or whatever, but there have been different versions.

So my question is, does his listing of those accounts among his assets override the POD designation? If it does, is the asset the account itself, or whatever balance was listed with the "official" balance sheet? Would I be able to get some money now?

This is one of those things I've always just asked my dad about.

Anonymous — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:54:04 -0800

Should I open a joint checking account with my ailing dad and his wife? My dad remarried after being widowed when my mom died. He has a prenuptial agreement and a will that makes a dividing line between how his assets will be handled when he passes away: what he made during his first marriage will go to me, what he made during his second marriage will go to his current wife. He has kept his bank accounts and other financial assets from his 1st marriage in his name only while his wife has kept her own bank accounts under her own name only. He covers all the maintenance/insurance costs for their house (which is willed to me as it was purchased/paid off during his 1st marriage), she contributes by buying groceries and paying for various bills such as phone and cable. All good so far.

Now he's in failing health (after a series of strokes) and he would like to set up a new joint bank account with his wife in order to ensure bills get paid as he's concerned that he might soon get to a state where he is physically unable to write checks by himself. He and his wife plan to fund this joint account with deposits from their individual bank accounts. The joint account would be used to pay for regular household expenses (homeowners insurance, power, water, phone, cable, and petty cash) but not a mortgage.

My question: will the creation of this joint account cause a problem with the assets (savings, other checking, house, stock, bonds etc) they have so carefully tried to keep separate all these years? Does it matter what kind of bills are paid from it? Would it be better for the joint account to be set up so only his individual accounts fund it?

He and his wife also want my name on this joint checking account. I'm not expected to contribute anything to this account, his wife wants my name on there "in case something happens to both of us" (meaning her and my dad), my dad wants my name on there just because he wants my name on there. Will that faff anything up in regards to taxes?

We all live in California. We all like each other a lot and are falling over ourselves to make sure the other person doesn't get screwed. I believe he's consulted the attny who wrote his will but he's also suffering from a lot of confusion post-stroke and thus it's difficult to get a reliable answer or feel confident that he clearly understood what was said. His wife is awesome but has zero interest in financial details. I understand you're neither my accountant nor my lawyer but I'd like to get a read on this while I'm waiting for those two to call me back; your input will help me ask more intelligent questions from my hired pros.

We knew she liked jewelry, but not THIS much!

globetrotter30 — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 20:53:43 -0800

What's the best way to divide a large jewelry collection among 12 inheritors? A relative recently passed away, and the will states her entire estate is to be evenly distributed among 12 nieces and nephews. Easy enough to do with cash and proceeds from house sale, but what about the jewelry? There are a few heirloom pieces, which will be handled separately, but we're not sure what to do with the "everything else". She has thousands of pieces, ranging in appraised value from a hundred bucks to several thousand dollars each. The inheritors range in age from teens to fortysomethings, with varying levels of interest in the jewelry itself. Eight live locally, four live out of state. To the best of our knowledge, nobody has sentimental attachment to any pieces in particular, yet some would presumably appreciate a chance to go through and choose items that catch their eye.

What to do? Now that we've realized we're dealing with a serious kitty, we want to make extra-sure we do this right. Some have suggested total liquidation before distributing, because basing distribution on estimates alone could get ugly down the road if and when actual sale values don't match appraisal values. Some have suggested liquidating NOTHING, and letting the inheritors have no say in what they get - just arbitrarily dividing into 12 equal-based-on-appraisals piles and handing everyone a big bag-o-jewels. Some suggest allowing those who want to choose their own loot to do so, but is that fair to the out-of-towners who can't be here in person and will be left with the reject bling? Taking thousands of pictures for the out-of-towners to preview seems like overkill.

I've done the googling, know the basic pros and cons. I'm just curious what Real People Like You might think. Ever found yourself in a similar situation and liked/disliked the way it was handled? Or have any other creative alternatives? Thanks in advance - best answer gets a blue topaz ring! [i wish, but she didn't have the foresight to mention that in the will....]

Disinherit me, please!

medea42 — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 12:46:49 -0800

What steps do I have to take to ensure I do not inherit anything from my family's estate, even if I'm included in the will? I want to make sure that my sister gets everything when my mother passes away, but my mother is insisting on leaving me in the will and that everything that might possibly be left be divided evenly between us. I don't want anything in an active, deep, might-set-fire-to-it way, and despite repeated requests, my mother will not remove me from her will and name my sister the sole heir.

What can I do, in the event of my mother's death, to make sure that everything goes to my sister?

If it helps: we are in the U.S. I live in a different state from my mother and sister. My sister lives with my mother.

Inheritance v. Debt - What to do?

Anonymous — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 10:09:27 -0800

A few months ago, my father passed away, and it turns out he has left me and my two siblings each approximately $20,000. My problem is this: I have huge unpaid medical bills from the past three years - in excess of $100,000, and they are totally in default, as my ordinary income is not quite enough for me to live on without the occasional assistance of my roommate and my siblings. In short, I live hand to mouth and sometimes come up short trying to fill my prescriptions. (I am uninsured, obviously.) I have some old student loan debt that has also gone into default over this time period.

My question is: what happens now? If I take the $20,000, which I do desperately need, won't I have to just turn around and send it all in to the medical collection agency/student loan people? Is it *legally* kosher to just refuse the money and allow my siblings to split it, to help defray their own costs of bailing me out? Is there some way to keep it? I don't want to be a deadbeat, but this money would barely make a dent in my medical bills, while it could make a real difference in day to day life.

If anyone has any ideas on how to handle this, I'd sure be grateful to know them. Any private suggestions can be sent to: MedDebt@gmail.com

Inherited an acre of land. What should we do with it?

omegar — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 21:30:09 -0800

Inherited an acre of land. What should we do with it? Is there any way to make it profitable, and to help the comunity around it by creating at least some jobs? Or should we just sell?

My wife and I just inherited an acre of land. It is in Mexico (somewhere around here); it is near a highway, two hours from Mexico City. It has all utilities (plus two wells). It is in a residential/farming/other uses area. In the past it had been used to raise rabbits, deer and chickens, but that did not work out because of negligence by the caretakers, we were told. It was also used to grow onions, cucumbers, apples, bananas, pears, radish, apples, watermelons, mangos and lemons, all in a small scale (non profitable, but good). Then it was transformed into a private weekend getaway house with lots of garden (and a small river, did I mention a small river goes through the property?) Right now it has some living quarters, a small pool and some abandoned amenities (a tennis court, a jogging track) all of which needs urgent fixing and mending or could be torn down without spending too much.

So, the thing is we are wondering what to do with it. We don't want to go live there full time but it is near enough that we can go every weekend or so. We can pay for someone to manage the property and all aother expenses (assume money is no object). So far we have come up with the following solutions:
We could just sell the land, but in its current state we will wind up not getting what it's worth.
We could section it and build really nice little houses with a common pool (4 houses or so) and sell them for profit but, where's the good for the local community in that?
We could start producing something. The climate is really good and everything grows. What could we possibly produce that is not very time consuming for us and can at least not loose money in medium to long term?
We could start a small factory. Again, assuming money is of no object, what could we build? (It must require simple labor as local people are probably not trained to even use a computer)

Only four no-no's:
The thing we grow or build or wahtever cannot be loud. No loud machines, a tractor is ok.
We do not want to pollute anything. Not the river, not the land, nothing, so it must be clean.
Nothing illegal (no drugs).
Nothing to do with tourism, the area has all needed hotels already.

Any help would be greately appreciated.

Help my friend find out if she can claim her inheritance.

somas1 — Mon, 11 May 2009 08:46:37 -0800

My friend would like to know if is she is entitled to her father's and grandmother's properties, so I thought I'd submit her question to metafilter. Her father and grandmother have been deceased for several years now so she is unsure where to start looking for answers. This is the full text of her question:

I am interested in how I can find out more about whether I am entitled to my father's and grandmother's property. Both are deceased. I'd like to know where I can go to find out certain information such as what I may be entitled to with regards to property, land, and veteran's benefits. Here are the facts:

My father was a Vietnam veteran. He and my mother were married but divorced shortly after I was born. He never paid child support until she went to court about it before I started college for help with expenses, and he made two $100 payments and no more. According to court papers, he owed around $20,000 in child support as of my 16th year (1996)

My father remarried a woman who had a (grown) child from a previous relationship, but he and his new wife never had any other children. As far as I know, I am his only child. He had one brother, now living in Germany, who has children, but I'm not sure how many, or any other information about them. As far as I know, they've been in Germany since I was a child.

My father lived in another state, so I only saw him every couple of years or so, in the summertime. He would take me to my great-grandmother's farm and tell me that it would belong to me one day. I was very close to them, closer than to my dad, I'd say.

My father died in 2000, shortly before his 50th birthday. My grandmother and great-grandmother had both passed the year before - 1999.

I was in college at the time of all their deaths, and did not wish to pursue any kind of estate entitlement at that time - I thought my father's wife would handle everything, and I didn't press it, considering she had just been widowed. We were never particularly close, but we had no problems with each other, either. However, I never heard anything more about it except one note not long after his death that she sent me regarding the sale of his truck.

As far as I know, here are the assets that my father had at the time of his death: the house that he and his wife shared. The house that my grandmother lived in (possibly). My great-grandmother's land, home, and belongings (he should have been at least a partial owner of that, with his brother). He most likely also had Veteran's benefits, and possibly SSI/Disability. As of today, I believe his wife still lives in the home that she shared with him, but I have no idea what happened to everything else.

I'm not particularly interested in getting his house, since his wife still lives there, but I am interested in my great-grandmother's land and property. I also don't particularly want my family's land and belongings to be left to his wife's daughter and her children. She's nice and all, but she was an adult when he married her mother, and was not raised by him, so I feel she has no real claim to it.

It's been several years now since he passed, and it's only recently that I've begun to really think about pursuing this information. I'd like to know what, if anything, I may be entitled to, and where is the best place I might go to find out all this information.

Thanks!

Tax law question for POD CD

RobotHeart — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 18:11:09 -0800

Tax-filter and estate-filter. I live in Ohio. The deceased lived in Ohio and gave me a certificate of deposit upon her death using a payable on death designation during 2008. I then cashed it out and placed this money in a checking account. I am not otherwise involved with the estate in any way. I have usually used "free-file" to do my taxes.

Two-part question: a) does this money count towards adjusted gross income? and if so...um... how? (I know so little about it I'm not sure what I'm asking) b) assuming my AGI is still under the $56k limit for free-file, is there any other reason why I cannot or should not do my taxes in that matter since I inherited this CD? (Hopefully this wasn't asked before but I couldn't find it. Also, irs.gov search sucks a long one.) Thank you!!

Who wants to be a multi-thousandaire?

Anonymous — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 08:47:35 -0800

My father died and we have to sell his house. I'm going to be inheriting $200,000+. Realistically, what would you do in that situation? I'm a 40-something female who has spent time actively changing her relationship with money this year (had to since I knew this was coming -- don't want to look back and have regrets). I'm starting to interview financial advisors right now (this book says to look for fee-based CFPs, any thoughts on that?). My basic goal right now is this... pay off all of my debts first, allocate 10% to create a better life for myself and the rest to build a solid retirement savings and hopefully live off of interest someday if the market ever decides to turn around. For the next fifteen years or so I plan to continue living off of my own income but I'm hoping that now I'll be able to allow myself more freedom to focus on projects I'm passionate about instead of freaking out about paying bills and being forced to accept work I don't enjoy.

I'm making lists of all of the ways I could utilize this money to create a life that will bring out my best self over the long term. I want to use this money towards things that will allow me to be a happier, better person and friend. I'm thinking up things ranging from the most mundane little things to the most fantastical (just 'cuz they're on the list doesn't mean I'm going to do them but I'm brainstorming), including things like getting my teeth totally fixed, traveling more, having a housekeeper once a month, surprising one of my best friends by flying across the country to help her pack when she moves, recording my music, doing volunteer work overseas, paying my nieces' night school tuition, finally decorating my apartment the way I want, taking a bunch of fun classes in things I'm really interested in, expanding my businesses, getting spa treatments once a month, hiring a personal trainer to help me get into shape quicker, etc.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do? I'm basically trying to see if there's anything I haven't thought of that I can put on the list so that my head is completely empty of any thoughts about this money long before I actually have the cash anywhere near me. When this money actually arrives, I want there to be no adrenaline rushing through my brain, by then I want to have already sorted through every crazy idea and have formulated a solid, unemotional game plan that I don't have to stress out about or second guess.

Hellllpppppp! :)

Good inheritance lawyer in NYC?

korpios — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 13:51:01 -0800

My maternal great aunt's husband just died; this guy had been lying to my great aunt for years, claiming they were destitute and living off of her while squirreling away all his money. It looks like he's trying to leave everything to his son, and leave her cold; where can my mother find a good inheritance lawyer in New York City? Neither my mother nor her aunt is rich. There are complications, of course:

- My great aunt had been showing signs of dementia for some time now, meaning my mother may have to assume power of attorney.

- *However*, my mother claims that her aunt has been much more lucid since the husband was hospitalized (prior to his death); my mother has suspicions that he had been drugging my great aunt based on this and items found in their home (her favorite wine being re-bottled by him, a jar with a funnel containing some of the wine, etc.). I'm not sure how you call the police on a dead guy based on stuff like this, unless his son was in-the-know.

Does my great aunt have a case here? We're talking around $500k, which is nothing to sneeze at, especially if my great aunt ends up needing a nursing home. I don't argue that her husband didn't have a right to leave *something* to his son, but leaving her with zip, while claiming all along that they were in the poor-house, is pretty cold.

What should my mother (who would be trying to help here) be doing? I'm assuming (as per the question) that it's "find a lawyer", but she doesn't even know where to start; she lives upstate about 90 minutes away, she doesn't have money to be throwing at this, and she doesn't know any lawyers in the NYC area.

NYC LegalFilter exocortical module: help? ^_^

How to handle a retro-reduced inheritance?

Anonymous — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 06:28:52 -0800

How to handle a retro-reduced inheritance? This spring I received an inheritance from my grandmother. Initially there was a check to each of us for $n, and later a (much larger) check for %x, the leftover balance. Now I am told that the executor/overseer, her step-son (btw), claims to have made a mistake on the calculations and the % portion was distributed before someone "cashed" one of the $n checks (for $100,000). He is now seeking to recollect on this error. For me, this is to the tune of about $20k.

Perhaps ordinarily I would just shrug and be as helpful as possible. But the timing is odd. After watching my family's portfolios fall nearly 40% in the past few weeks, combined with a suspiciously dispersed inheritance in our family 20 years ago, it is cultivating,harvesting, and curing some weird feelings.

1) Who "overlooks" a $100,000 check? I learned in 6th grade math class to balance a checkbook by what you write out on it, not what is already cashed. If this moron missed this, what else did he miss? How large was the estate in order to miss this?

2) What are my actual obligations? If the check was already cut to me, do I legally owe anything?

3) Obviously, I am seeking legal advice ASAP but wanted any immediate nerd wisdom/questions to ask/etc

4) Tips for negotiating with family that I am socially very distant from? My sister and I are the only surviving islands in this midwest-conservative river. The executor in question's father had framed pictures of Reagan and Bush on his wall. I was essentially shunned from this part of the family at age 15 for having a pierced ear. My sister was not given college funding (as everyone else in the family was) because of her controversial decision to study art instead of home-ec or teaching (the only appropriate options for a woman).

I would really like any guidance, how to talk to a lawyer, what to ask, how to socially handle this, anything. Its just not stuff I want to deal with and I resent that I am even needing to. Thanks for understanding and any possible guidance.

Where to invest during a financial meltdown?

Anonymous — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 14:30:25 -0800

I recently inherited about $100k. I'm pretty dumbfounded. This is the largest amount of money I will probably ever have to figure out what do with, so I want to be safe and smart and invest in the long term. I have no debts. I'm 30 years old and single. I know no one has a crystal ball, but what are your best guesses for what I should do with this money in light of our current financial meltdown? (I haven't even deposited the check yet... my bank is Wamu and I wasn't sure if it would fold).

I wanna be a woman of independent means... for more than a few months.

Anonymous — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 14:01:15 -0800

Okay, so let's say you're a broke, middle-aged single female creative professional who infamously sucks with anything involving numbers. You do have expensive tastes, but you're generally quite frugal and like to shop at the 99¢ Store & swap meets. Even so, much to your own annoyance, you have just never done *well* with money when you've had it or ever done much grown up "long-term life planning"... but now you're about to come into a one-time windfall (possibly a six to seven figure sum in all). Oh Lordy. Time to grow up. You have no real retirement or savings and you've never owned property or real investments of any kind, really. You definitely have an entrepreneurial mind and some great business ideas and you *could* be a great businessperson, but haven't progressed because unbeknownst to most people you are insanely insecure about your ability to succeed so you've a history of sabotaging yourself or talking yourself out of pursuing things. You never take your business ideas as far as you want to, instead always going back to doing work for hire jobs as a freelancer, making your wealthy employers wealthier while you're living paycheck to paycheck. It definitely doesn't help that you've never had any good role models financially. (Other people in your immediate family are even more irresponsible and messed up than you are, and you're terrified of this being your self-fulfilling legacy too.)

Now that you're going to suddenly come into some money, you don't want to screw up this one opportunity to provide for your future and open doors. You want to make good, intelligent investments of your time and money and stop being afraid of success so you can fulfill your potential in life and finally feel secure financially. You want to make your future a great, happy, relatively carefree one and to FINALLY become smart about these things and secure your status as a responsible, successful, happy adult... rather than fulfill your worst nightmare: that you'll end up a drunk old baglady whining about how she once had a gazillion dollars but let it slip through her fingers (Pass the Thunderbird please).

Sooooo, what should your gameplan be?

I've heard many a tale of people who won the lottery or inherited huge amounts and ended up fucking it all up. I REALLY don't want to be that stereotypical loser. I'm thinking it would be good to invest this money and live off the interest eventually, but I'm not sure how to make that happen realistically. I feel so freaking clueless on this stuff! There are things I would LOVE to do besides sit all day at my day job (travel, pursue business ideas, buy some new clothes, etc.), things that would make me happy and be fun... it would be great to have the financial freedom to do those things but I don't want to regret any choices so I'm hesitant. Unfortunately, knowing myself, while I stand around wondering what I should do with the money, it'll disappear. I just can't let that happen. I need a plan.

I want to look back and be proud of myself instead of hitting myself upside the head with profound regrets in my old age. Your insights, please. Thanks. (Oh, and I live in Southern California, if that matters.)

Can I opt out of income taxes on inherited retirement benefits?

xanthippe — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:01:02 -0800

Can I opt out of paying income taxes on inherited retirement benefits in the USA? I won't be filing a tax return, anyway. I am a beneficiary of my deceased mother's state retirement plan. I have been given the option to either roll the amount over into an IRA (which I don't want) or take a direct payment, which appears to be subject to a 30% tax: 20% is automatic, and the other 10% appears to be related to electing not to put the money into an IRA.

If I choose a direct payment, the forms give me the following options:

A) "10% federal income tax withholding from any taxable portion of the accumulated account"; or

B) "no federal income tax withholding from any taxable portion of the accumulated acount"; option B continues, "If you request no withholding, you may still be responsible for payment of federal income tax on the taxable portion of your distribution. You may also be subject to tax penalties if your total estimated tax payments and withholding are not adequate to cover your tax liability."

Firstly, could someone please clarify the meaning of option B? I assume it means opting out of an automatic tax payment and agreeing to voluntarily pay it on my next federal income tax. However, I have been living outside of the USA and not filing tax returns for several years, and I intend to continue doing so. I am specifically confused about the ramifications of the last sentence considering, as far as the IRS is concerned, I will not have any income this year.

My real question is therefore: What, if any, consequences will I face if I simply take the maximum amount in cash and do not later declare it as income? If there is a penalty for this, is it subject to a statue of limitations? In other words, is this an easy way out or a really bad idea? I intend to remain invisible to the IRS for the forseeable future; will this ruin my plan?

Lastly, given that I am unlikely to ever live or retire in the USA, is there any other reason, specifically relating to taxes or avoiding such, that I should choose the IRA rollover option instead of a direct payment?

Thanks for any advise. I know I should see a financial advisor/accountant but I currently have major logistical obstacles in this regard.

Liquidating an estate in the USA... in today's economy. Shouldn't we just wait a while?

Anonymous — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 07:33:00 -0800

How should we handle liquidating assets in an estate in the USA right now? Assets consist primarily of a stock portfolio and a house. My father recently passed away, leaving behind an investment portfolio worth about $650,000 and a house valued at $300,000. This will be split 6 ways; four of the inheritors have expressed a preference to liquidate everything straightaway and wash their hands of it.

Aside from the emotional issues the other 2 inheritors have with rushing into this, we are wondering financially what is the best way to handle this given today's market conditions. My understanding is that housing prices are very low, and we can all see what's happening with the stock market. My first reaction is that now is an extremely bad time to be liquidating any assets from a strictly economical perspective; this view is what I am asking for your feedback on.

None of us are very experienced in financial matters; we plan on searching for a financial advisor next business week, but in the meantime I would appreciate any informed advice about how we can best retain the value of these assets as we decide how to handle the estate.

Specifically:

1) Should we sell the house now and take what we can get, or is it likely that we could get more value from holding on to it for a year or so and possibly trying to rent it in the meantime? I think that there are two factors that would contribute to the house being sold under value: today's market conditions, and the desire on the part of the executor of the will to sell the house as quickly as possible regardless of any loss. At least one of these seems avoidable, but if the market is expected to worsen, it would be an advantage to sell it now. No one plans to live in the house, but there are local family members who have offered to help with its care and administration if needed.

2) Same as above for stocks; I have not yet seen the contents of the portfolio, but am inclined to believe that after the November elections, there is a good chance the economy will be positively affected. We also know that the portfolio consisted of low-risk stocks aimed more at stability and long-term returns. Should we wait and see, for this or any other reasons, or should we cash it in now in case things get even worse?

3) The biggest concern: what happens if the 6 beneficiaries disagree on the questions above? One of the four who wants to eat the whole cake now will have power of attorney by Monday. If the two of us strongly disagree with his opinions on how to handle the assets, what happens?

More important background: the 4 who want to take the money and run are all 40-something homeowners who are married with 2 or 3 kids apiece, have Masters degrees, are stably employed in long-term careers, and generally already have all the security they could ask for as far as I know. We (the other two) are in our early twenties, have bachelor's degrees, are employed but with very modest salaries, and are unmarried. I think these differences are serious and, without being selfish, I feel that given that they have so much more security, our needs for the near future should be prioritized. The people who left this inheritance were there to support them when they were our age, and we no longer have any sort of safety net. Side question: is this incredibly selfish of me? I realize that they are probably looking forward to using their share towards their children's college tuition and their retirement funds, but the fact is that a few thousand dollars lost by liquidating sooner than necessary could mean a lot more to the younger beneficiaries. We are not sure why they want to rush into liquidating everything immediately when none of them have any immediate need for large sums of cash that we know of, and certainly no one was anticipating this to happen now.

Again, we will look for a financial advisor and are going to speak with some attorneys in our local network as well, but appreciate your advice in the meantime.

Oh the joys of family

Sufi — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:01:07 -0800

Inheritance issues. Grandparent passed leaving money to my dead mother. Auntie wants to keep mother's share. My grandfather passed away and left my mother with an inheritance. Mother passed away several months before grandfather, but the will was not updated. Aunt #1 wants me to have my mother's share, but aunt #2 is trying to keep it. I will be speaking with a lawyer next week, but I'd like some advice from the hivemind before I go.

Does anyone have any experience with this situation? Does aunt #2 even have a legal leg to stand on?

How can I sell a collection of gemstones?

wingless_angel — Fri, 30 May 2008 00:46:14 -0800

My husband inherited his late father's gemstone collection 6 years ago, and we want to know how to sell it. Thousands of rocks and stones are in the collection, some valuable, some not. Some are labelled, some not. Should we ask/pay for an appraiser to come to the house and take a look? Where would I find an appraiser? Can we sell them as a job lot? I'm worried about getting ripped off since we have no skills in this trade ourselves. How hard would it be to sell individual pieces on eBay? (We're in Australia).

This collection could potentially be a down payment on a house for us, so if we are going to sell it, we want to do it right.

How to report tax info I don't have?

daisyace — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 13:48:20 -0800

What date acquired and cost basis should I put for two items reported on a 1099-B, when there are several unknowns? I have this on a 1099-B:
10/26/07.......Avaya cash merger at $17.50 per.......quant:16.......box 2: $280.00
4/5/07..........LSI corp cash in lieu............................................box 2: $7.94

These companies came from Lucent, which my grandmother gave me years ago, before she died, and I don't know what to put for date acquired and for cost basis.

For date acquired:
- 1947 is when my grandmother's husband bought att, which both of the above eventually came from.
- 1958 is when my grandmother's husband died. I don't know whether he gave Grandma att before he died, or whether she inherited it.
- Roughly late 90's is when Grandma gave me Lucent, which had come from att.
- 12/1/06 is the date that Avaya spun off Lucent.
- 10/26/07 and 4/5/07 are the dates of the reported events on the 1099-B.

For cost basis, I know that the basis of a gift is the giver's basis. But I
don't know:
- what Grandma or her husband's basis was, and which of those is relevant.
- what percent of the investment that had that basis they gave to me.
- what percent of what they gave me became the two companies in question.

If it matters, my mom thinks that when I was given Lucent, it was worth
about $25 per share, and $9500 all together. Now, all the parts taken together are worth much, much less.

I know that, to be safest, I could treat the entire $287.94 as capital gains even though they may actually be losses. This would cost me $75 in Federal tax, I'm not sure how much in state tax, plus the value of whatever loss I could have written off against other gains. I could try to find a tax advisor to help, but I suspect that would cost more than I'd save (plus, at this time of year, it would be a challenge to find one). I've tried the IRS help line and the investment firm where these are now held, but I reached dead ends because of the information I'm missing.

Money and mental illness

Anonymous — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:34:29 -0800

How to manage an inheritance when we don' t know how responsible the person (now 18) will be? My daughter just turned 18. For the past two years, she has really struggled with major depression (include bad voices in her head at times), PTSD and some borderline characteristics. Generally she doesn't spend much money even if she has it but she has moments of being very impulsive.

My father is planning to leave each of my kids (there is an older brother) about $150,000 in his will. He is asking me for advice on what he should do for my daughter. I'm hoping that by the time he passes on (he is 77), she will have mostly recovered and be functioning well but at this point I have no idea if she will turn into a responsible adult (and able to deal with any remaining challenges from her mental illness) or not. In other words, by the time she is 25, there is a reasonable chance she will be able to handle the money. But there is also a real chance that she won't.

At the same time, my father doesn't want to do anything more complicated/expensive than necessary. Any advice?

Also, any advice on the equity issue of whether we need to do the same for her brother (who is 3 years older and extremely responsible with his money)

You can also contact me at need_advice1@yahoo.com

a slow moving train wreck.

jlowen — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 09:52:21 -0800

My grandfather recently passed and left me as the co-owner of a house with my VERY irresponsible uncle. How can I protect myself from liability and how do / should I attempt to save my uncle from himself? What kind of professional should I talk to? My grandpa still owns the house that he grew up in(in addition to his primary residence). This house is set to be split two ways between myself and one of my uncles who has lived in the house for several years rent free. My uncle is chronically irresponsible and despite living off government checks which total a large monthly sum ($3,500 ish) he was a huge financial and psychological drain on my grandfather. Long story short my grandparents when they were alive was the only thing standing between my uncle and ruin. Perfect example of his behavior: Yesterday he went to his bank and pulled out $1900. The next morning he was asking for money to fix a flat tire from family. It appears that he spent a very large portion of the $1900 on lottery tickets.

I am scared that I now am co-owner of a house with him. I am concerned that he will not make all the utility / insurance / tax payments to maintain the property. Nor do I want this property to become a financial drain on me since I dont live there. Furthermore I am concerned that he will not maintain the property and fear that in the event of some visitor getting injured that I may be held legally liable.

My uncle has expressed interest in selling the property and taking his half and moving somewhere else. While this would let me off the hook I KNOW that my uncle would end up homeless in a year without the free rent of his current situation. Then I KNOW he would start asking me for money.

Do I consent to the sale and let him ruin himself? Or do I hold out and maintain the liability of the house just for his own good?

Finally when the time comes that he hits me up for money, what kind of formal legal relationship can I set up so that instead of giving him any of my money I just help him manage his? Do I need to consult a lawyer, accountant, or some other professional?

Do I risk it?

Anonymous — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 18:12:14 -0800

I'm receiving a sizable inheritance in the form of stock from a deceased relative. However, there's fairly good evidence that the person who's managed the relative's affairs all these years (due to this relative being incapable of managing their own affairs) has intentionally sold a vast majority of that stock because they didn't want to draw down their own inheritance. If I contest this, though, there's a clause in the will that cuts my inheritance to $1. Do I take the stock that's offered me, or should I risk it on recovering the rest? I'm looking at a large inheritance from a relative who has passed away, let's say $X. But based on conversations with accountants involved with the estate (and some independent advisors), I'm probably looking at receiving more than three times $X that if I can prove malfeasance. And there are tell-tale signs of malfeasance.

The relative had substantial holdings in two companies. I was to receive Y number of shares in company #1. At the time of the will's writing 20 years ago, company #1 and company #2 were about equally represented in the portfolio. A quick glance at the current balance sheet for the estate shows that there are many, many more shares in company #2 than company #1 -- and company #2 is much more valuable per share than company #1 (and has consistently been so). Company #1 stock was apparently sold off over the years while company #2 stock wasn't. The person managing the affairs of the relative (he/she had power of attorney) is listed in the will as receiving the stock in company #2 but none of company #1.

In addition, both stocks paid large dividends, to the point that a person could live very comfortably on just the dividends -- there is little reason for anyone to be selling that much stock to take care of expenses.

The person who had power of attorney over the relative's assets had prior knowledge of the will, and these financial decisions look quite suspicious. This person is also the executor of the will.

There are other signs of malfeasance there as well. We think a forensic audit should be able to build a solid case. But once we move beyond the forensic audit, then we're contesting the will. There's a clause in the will that states any heir who contests the will shall receive $1. If the case went to trial and I won, the ruling would supersede that clause. But if I lose, I lose the original $X.

These numbers are huge for me. I didn't expect to inherit anything from the relative, and now I'm looking at substantial sums of money. I'm not sure what to do. My significant other thinks I should take $X because we would be debt-free, we could build a decent nest egg, and we could have it sooner rather than later -- due to the structure of the estate the stock will not need to be probated. (And honestly, our debts are becoming an increasing drag on our bottom line.)

Others close to me think I should pursue the case and go for the $3X, even though I may be looking at years going in and out of court. The lawyers I've talked to have all said it smells fishy and think there's a case here (and they'd take it on contingency.) I'm just still in shock I'm getting anything. $X is a large amount of money; $3X would satisfy every one of my long-term financial goals. But still, even with the initial evidence, I don't know if it's worth giving up $X to try for $3X.

Should I take $X and walk away, or should I risk $X and sue for the $3X I should be receiving? Lawyer up or cut my losses?