Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with individual

I hate groups..

Anonymous — Fri, 01 May 2009 14:01:06 -0800

I feel overwhelmingly anxious over sentimental-ish type situations, like seeing long lost friends, reuniting with family, etc.. to the point I avoid it entirely. How can I just ease off?? In the facebook era of running into all these people I knew it's making me face my biggest fears.

It's probably more emphasized with my family, since I haven't seen them in years and most of that has been voluntary on my part. But there never was bad blood, it was mostly me and being insecure over certain things, I had a really avoidant nature while I was with them (going off to other rooms to eat, not going to anything 'everyone will be there', etc)

So like my family, my old high school friends were like an extended family too. I was one of them, I assume that meant they must like me and thought of me as one of the crew, but I just drifted off one day, and it's been 15+ years, and next thing I know I see them all on facebook and that mixed with the prospect of having to see them again in real life is bringing back these anxiety/avoid type feelings.

I thought I was over this. This past 15 years just doing my thing alone, had few friends, I like it but I hate it. I like that I don't have the anxiety.. yet I hated the loneliness. So that's why I signed up on facebook cause I knew they're all on. But now that they're adding me.. and I'm seeing other people connected to our group who I haven't added nor want to.. the anxiety is mostly "oh s**t.. they now know I exist. Sooner or later they're going to ask me to hang out. I'm going to have to see other people I don't want to. I can't/don't want to fake that I like them and miss them. But maybe one or two of them I really do want to see."

I guess that's where I get my anxiety.. having to control the situation so I only see X and Y, but not A, B, C, D, E and everyone else. But since they're such a close knit group, like a family, it's impossible to know one without having to know the others.

The problem is in doing so, I exert a lot of energy in maintaining this. And sometimes, X and Y don't understand I feel this way, so they see my avoidance of the rest as me not wanting to be a part of them. It's like they want me, but only if I also embrace the rest of the gang. It is like an eternal high school life, but that's how everyone I know is.. even after they're married. Their kids just join into the group dynamic.

I'm such an individual person.. group dynamics make me clam up and not be myself.

How can I keep things limited to just the few people I DO want to know, considering they might not be capable of understanding this or really enjoying it. They're just social ants who are part of a larger thing, and want you to join.. but when you want a more personal individualistic relationship with them, maybe it scares them.. cause they don't know how to function like that, but only as part of a group??

Can has higher education?

Anonymous — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 04:09:34 -0800

How does one apply for financial aid at a public university as an independent party? This is to imply there will not be financial assistance from the parent/guardian; is there a way for their income to be excluded as criteria in evaluating aid eligibility? The situation is this. A student has been attending a public university for the past two years and has been denied financial aid from the government and university for both years. These applications included the parents financial records/income.

The situation has changed and the parent will no longer be financially able to assist in payment for tuition/housing for certain reasons and the student will be one their own. The income of the guardian is such that financial aid requests have been denied in the past but various obligations/expenses make supporting multiple college tuition bills unfeasible.

Is there a way for the student to prove financial independence from the parents and have their request evaluated solely on their income and financial situation? Would this simply require not being claimed as a dependent?

This is for a California university if this impacts the situation at all. This question at MeFi is meant to serve as the groundwork prior to meeting with the university financial aid office. I assume this it's not possible for one to just say their parents will not be assisting in paying for one's education since most everyone would do that. Any help is appreciated, MeFites.

Help me find someone who will find someone to insure me!

np312 — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 16:32:31 -0800

Can someone tell me how to find a good health insurance broker in LA, or recommend one you've used? Finding individual health insurance here is MUCH more difficult than I expected it would be, seeing how I'm extremely healthy. I need to find a professional to help me with this! Some background: I'm 26 and in the prime of health, except for a very slight heart arrhythmia which doesn't affect my life in the slightest except that I have it on my medical record. I don't take medication for it, mostly don't even notice it, but it's suddenly keeping me from getting health insurance. I keep being told to get a health insurance broker, but I don't know where to start looking.

I had health insurance through HIP/freelancer's union in NYC, which I stupidly canceled when I moved to LA six weeks ago thinking it wouldn't be hard to get individual health insurance here. I will be eligible through my California freelance work for guild health insurance in about 6 months' time, but until then I need insurance. I applied for both Tonik (through Bluecross) and Kaiser Permanente, and was rejected because of the heart thing. I'm fine paying a high deductible and a low monthly rate, because I almost never need to go to the doctor anyway, I just want to be covered in case I get run over by a Hummer. I don't want to just flip through the yellow pages because I don't know what to look for, what kinds of scams are out there, etc, so I'm hoping someone in the ask.me community has a name/company for me to contact, or at least some guidelines to be aware of before I dive in.

Lastly, it would make sense for me to have a physical check-up by a company's doctor so they can SEE that I'm ridiculously healthy and insure me. Does that even happen anymore?

Please help! The more specific the better-- I need a broker/brokerage company to contact immediately about this. Thank you!

Please help me find affordable individual health insurance as a recent college graduate who is unemployed.

orangeshoe — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 15:42:30 -0800

I need affordable individual health insurance not merely a discount health plan - where do I get it? I recently graduated from college, where I was enrolled under the college's student health insurance. I have not yet found employment, but I need health insurance. I do not like those gimmicky "discount" health plans. I want real health insurance - specifically one that provides for individuals, not for family or small businesses health insurance.

I am willing to pay a co-pay but do not want any deductibles if possible. I also would like to have prescription medicine discounts. My budget for health insurance is preferably around $200 to $250 per month - is this too little to get the type of plan I'm looking for?

I am totally lost in the plethora of sites that pop up when I enter relevant search terms. Please help! I appreciate insight from anyone who's gone through this as I'm sure many have.

Free political blog templates?

By The Grace of God — Sat, 19 Nov 2005 07:11:59 -0800

When, in the course of human events, an awesome individual decides to run for office, and when an amateur nerd overhears this and is tickled pink, and wishes to set up a blog for this awesome individual, where would this amateur nerd find free political candidate's blog templates? I'll prolly build my own but some nice red-white-and-blue templates would be muchly appreciated as a starting point.

Interactive storytelling – good examples of both traditional and electronic?

chocolatepeanutbuttercup — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 18:28:43 -0800

There’s a long tradition of telling a story, say, around a campfire, or to a group of friends in a bar, and based on the feedback you get, changing the story to suit or entertain your audience. Today, the web gives everyone the ability to tell a story and receive feedback from a much wider audience than was previously possible. Two examples I can think of are the blogging phenomenon and Shelley Jackson’s hypertext writings. I’m looking for traditional/historical examples and sources as well as as well as online equivalents?

Alternate history fiction and the people that did it

mrkinla — Mon, 24 Jan 2005 21:52:22 -0800

FictionFilter: what are the legal ramifications of using living or dead individuals and corporations in fictional works, without obtaining consent and in ways which diverge from history?

Let's say, for example, I'm writing a novel about the movie business and a fictional motion picture studio. For sh*ts and giggles, call it MetaMovies. Can I write that MetaMovies purchased the MGM library of films in the mid-90s, and that the fictional founder of MetaMovies (the MetaMogul, if you will) was, at various points in his life, married to Marilyn Monroe and Ava Gardner? Fueded with Orson Welles? Famously knocked out Marlon Brando when Brando walked off the set of a completely fictitious movie? I've seen novels that have dealt fictitiously with the lives of public figures, but I've never seen corporations woven into those stories -- nor do I know whether their authors have had to approach the estates of celebrities to authorize said treatment. However, I recently finished the excellent Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, and the detailed descriptions of the English government's attempt to use magic against Napoleon's encroaching army lent a cogent sense of verisimilitude to the otherwise fantastic subject matter.