36 posts tagged with indecision.
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How do we break out of a years long separation limbo?

Over five years ago I (male) decided to separate from my wife. We’ve been married for 16 years. The dam burst of emotion that fueled my decision to separate was spent before going all the way to divorce. She hasn’t divorced me either. Neither of us has dated anyone else. Things have simmered to an uneasy state of limbo, where we’re technically married, yet more like just friends and co-parents. How do you break out of an indecision so powerful that any choice feels like dying? Warning: tsunami of text inside! [more inside]
posted by star fruit on Apr 15, 2016 - 22 answers

How do I stop regretting a 'wrong' decision (when it was really right)?

A few months ago I turned down the opportunity to attend Air Force Officer Training School, a dream I've been pursuing for years. This was probably the right decision, but not the one I wanted to make. Now I'm struggling with regret. [more inside]
posted by mannermode on Mar 30, 2016 - 22 answers

I am being gifted a new mac laptop and I need help choosing which one.

My macbook is from 2009. I haven't followed Apple news/updates for many years now so I am at a loss on how to prioritize the options available. [more inside]
posted by futz on Mar 20, 2016 - 26 answers

Take this job and...keep it?

Should I keep my stable, reasonably paying job with decent work-life balance that I've had for ages but which also makes me kind of sad? [more inside]
posted by whistle pig on Feb 14, 2016 - 29 answers

How to pick a therapist to help my anxiety (before pregnancy/parenting)

How do I pick the right therapist to help with my anxiety, stress, indecisiveness, and perfectionist tendencies? What kinds of therapy/techniques/approaches might be most helpful? How do I quickly assess whether to stick with someone or look elsewhere? What are reasonable expectations of how much I can improve in therapy and how quickly? I'm terrible at making decisions-- I need help! (Especially since we want to start trying for kids in a few months so I feel real urgency to make progress quickly to feel comfortable going ahead, for both my and the kid's sake.) DC-area, FYI. [more inside]
posted by SockHop on Nov 24, 2014 - 4 answers

This indecision's bugging me

For the past two and a half years, I've been in a relationship with a Very Nice Man. We are both in our early 40s, and when we met we had both recently left much longer relationships, although neither of us came straight into this. We own our own houses, and neither of us has kids, although we do have pets. So we're fairly stable, with few obvious complications. The Little Big Words were said long ago and are repeated sometimes, and he describes the relationship as serious. There are no significant problems in the relationship, and things are always good when we're together. So what could possibly be wrong? [more inside]
posted by sockasm on Feb 24, 2014 - 33 answers

I have too many interests and I'm losing it

I have always had multiple interests, and the list has grown as I've gotten older. I can't decide how to pursue them without losing my sanity. [more inside]
posted by Cybria on Feb 18, 2014 - 16 answers

Were my relationship expectations unrealistic?

Having been in a nigh 4 year relationship, it's ended and I'm left wondering did I just expect too much? [more inside]
posted by Junghans on Oct 25, 2013 - 29 answers

What does a jack of all trades, master of none major in?

I'm making it my goal this year to pick a major for Spring 2014 and actually see it through the end. The problem is I can't seem to stick with anything. I'm interested in almost everything. What do/have you done in this situation? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Oct 17, 2013 - 54 answers

What are some alternatives to going to college?

What are some options for a bright young man who wants to delay college? It can be volunteer-based, overseas, career ideas, special programs, alternate ideas of how to approach higher learning...anything. The main thing he wants is real-world experience outside of a classroom, something that will help him grow as a person and help him learn what he wants out of life. [more inside]
posted by piratesriding on Aug 10, 2013 - 38 answers

For the love of God, please help me make up my mind

I need to change careers. But I can't make up my mind about which one to go into, and it's driving me nuts. Please help me understand why I can't make up my mind, or what I should do about it. [more inside]
posted by indognito on May 27, 2013 - 10 answers

Please help me decide my next step

I have been feeling discouraged with my life since the last half of 2012 but this year I resolve to make definite changes. I am 25 and earning my living as a part-time software tester. I have been on food stamps since August. I make *just* enough every month to pay rent, pay bills, and save a little bit. I have been aggressively and earnestly looking for full-time work. I have an undergraduate social science degree from a good university but I have a terrible, terrible GPA. I have internship experience with policy research and analysis, and held jobs in nonprofit administration and development. My references are excellent but my resume is pretty patchy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2013 - 9 answers

What do I doooooo

Need advice on how to "break up" with a guy I've only been seeing for a few weeks... and whether or not I am being an idiot. [more inside]
posted by anonymousme on Nov 13, 2012 - 28 answers

How do you manage anxiety and indecision when it comes to timeliness and scheduling?

How do you manage anxiety and indecision when it comes to timeliness and scheduling? [more inside]
posted by ArgyleMarionette on Jul 13, 2012 - 18 answers

Help with Being a Healthy and Honest Individual, after Trauma

Having grown up in an abusive home where every move of mine was watched and controlled like a hawk, and I had to anticipate reactions in order to survive, I ended up molding many of my desires around those anticipated reactions. So now, as an adult of advancing age, how do I learn to know what I want, and act on those desires with honesty and integrity? What are some steps I can actually take? Books I can read? Simple thoughts to repeat to myself? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 19, 2012 - 27 answers

Too bad money isn't confetti, or I'd throw it at school.

Pay less for online classes or more for sitting in a classroom? Get clicky for career-switching details... [more inside]
posted by mild deer on Apr 12, 2012 - 10 answers

Choose my adventure: Bard retreat or Tufts advance?

Please be my crystal ball and tell me if I should get my MAT degree at Bard or Tufts University. I hate decisions in general, but in this case the financials are equal, I like both city and country, small settings and larger ones, and a longer haul seems only differently attractive than a short 1-year sprint, plus I probably can't break the tie by visiting. [more inside]
posted by reenka on Mar 29, 2012 - 13 answers

32 years old... should I go back to school or should I get a job?

another thirty-something with only a bachelor's degree uncertain about what to do career-wise. Also uncertain as to what transferable skill(s) to highlight, if any, were I to apply for a job. What should I do with myself? (longgggggggggggg, slightly snowflake-y post ahead) [more inside]
posted by ditto75 on Mar 20, 2012 - 17 answers

Passion vs. Security in Career - Which should I pursue?

Hello. I'm facing a big career dilemma and I would love some feedback. The short question is whether I should call a job I already declined to ask for it back (it's been 5 weeks), but in order to best explain what is causing this dilemma and (hopefully) get some advice, I think I should give some historical context. My apologies in advance for the long question and thank you for any perspective and/or advice. [more inside]
posted by curiousone on Feb 24, 2012 - 13 answers

who am I?

I feel like I just have moment-to-moment mindsets; that I have no underlying unitary will. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 2, 2011 - 12 answers

Noise, both external and internal.

Apartment noise, and my own hypersensitivity to that noise, are intersecting with some bigger psychological issues for me about when to stick up for my needs. Help. [more inside]
posted by chameleon on Aug 22, 2011 - 30 answers

Sitting on this fence is getting uncomfortable. Shove me.

I'm in a very long-term relationship and am unhappy. However, I don't know whether that's because my expectations are too high or because I am in a legitimately flawed relationship. Should I stay or should I go? Hope me, Hive-Mind - give me the outside opinion (Advice? Anecdotes?) I need to free myself from my crippling inability to decide. A blizzard of snowflake detail inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 6, 2011 - 40 answers

Girls, distances, and decisions about them.

I have no idea how to make big decisions about relationships, because they involve emotion. Help my rational brain reassert its dominance, or at least allow reason and feeling to coexist happily. Specifically: [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 4, 2011 - 8 answers

Just pick a camera for me so I don't have to! Please!!

Yet another "pick a camera for me" question. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anastasiav on Dec 30, 2010 - 23 answers

I made up my mind: I'm very, very indecisive. Please help.

How can I learn to be make better life decisions AND accept my choice once I've made one? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2010 - 13 answers

Turning 30. Handling it poorly.

I'm not talented at anything useful. I'm not passionate about anything specific. And I'm getting older. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2010 - 32 answers

How can I stop torturing myself with regret and learn to make decisions again?

Grass_is_always_greener Filter: How can I stop torturing myself with regret and learn to make decisions again? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 13, 2009 - 18 answers

Well worth it or just a waste of time?

Will taking the saying "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" too seriously lead a person to self-sabotage, specifically when they know the affair is doomed from the start? [more inside]
posted by afabulousbeing on May 7, 2009 - 27 answers

Conan, what is best in life?

I'm at a loose end in life, have few real constraints... so what shall I do next? Go wild. [more inside]
posted by so_necessary on Jan 19, 2009 - 16 answers

A suggestion box

I graduated from university a few months ago, and have absolutely no idea what to do next. After reading about my past and current circumstances, could you swell folks offer me some suggestions? [more inside]
posted by Lemon of Byzantium on Nov 4, 2008 - 8 answers

How to cope with crippling career regrets?

Followed my dreams, now totally wish I hadn’t-- how do I stop regretting it, make the tough choices and move forward with my poor mangled career? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2008 - 30 answers

What do I need to know to start an outdoor compost pile?

I want to start composting, but I'm clueless: what do I need to know? [more inside]
posted by davidriley on May 16, 2008 - 24 answers

Metafilter tell me how to fix my life

January is Quarter Life Crisis Month on Ask Metafilter. [more inside]
posted by lemur on Jan 29, 2007 - 20 answers

How to be a more stoic bitch in the face of a break up?

How do I deal with an emotional roller coaster ride with my (now) ex boyfriend? [more inside]
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! on Jan 3, 2007 - 17 answers

Should I take a Ride on the Sony Pony?

PSP: Buy or no buy? [more inside]
posted by oxford blue on Aug 9, 2006 - 21 answers

I need a plan!

I'm going to start my second year of college in September. Only problem? I have no idea which college I'll be at. Help me out. [more inside]
posted by punishinglemur on Apr 16, 2006 - 25 answers

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