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Oh my aching right foot that, along with its counterpart, is about to run a marathon...

holdenjordahl — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 17:03:09 -0800

i can't see a specialist for three weeks but i've got a marathon coming up and i need to know before that. these are the facts and i'm trying to figure out the cause...
1. i wear orthodics. the right one is the neutral one. it cracked. i noticed a few weeks before that that, below the third and forth toes, a dull sensation. i originally thought it was caused by the crack in the orthodic.
2. i went back to my prior set of orthodics. they were essentially the same orthodics as the pair i had been using.
3. now i'm noticing that EXACTLY after 75 minutes i get this sudden pain, as if i'm stepping on a marble (not a beebee, not a golf ball, a marble). it hurts like crazy. the pain doesn't radiate throughout the foot or up the leg.
4. and then, after EXACTLY 15 minutes, the pain suddenly vanishes.
5. i haven't done any sudden ramping up of mileage, i run mostly on sand, grass, or dirt. there's nothing that i've stepped on that could have wedged in my shoe, the interior of the shoe is smooth, et cetera.
6. i've looked on all the obvious running sites and can find nothing about what this could be. any suggestions, please???

The right time / way, to discuss moveing in together (going from long-distance relationship to near-distance). Help.

audio — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 20:55:44 -0800

When is the right time to discuss moving in together when you've recently translated your relationship from skyping for 3 years to actual dating in person for 2 months? Basically, I chatted with a guy via skype for 3 years. We finally met two months ago and it has been dynamite between us, but he has never brought up living together. I can sense he doesn't want to get his own place yet ect (young adult) but I want to settle down and live with him so I don't have to return to my country of origin. This long-distance thing isn't my thing, in other words.

When is the appropriate time / way to bring up this kind of sensitive subject?

How does your comfort level in relationships show?

hollygirl — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 19:46:28 -0800

This is REALLY not about the toilet seat...or is it?!? Men, I need your advice!! Women, there is a question inside for you too! Help! My wonderful boyfriend of 2+ years has ALWAYS been considerate and has put the toilet seat down when he is done. I've never asked him to do this; he just did, which I really appreciated and expressed to him in the past.

We are very close. Have a solid relationship and have learned to adjust to each other.

Here is the weird part: All of the sudden, out of nowhere, he starts leaving the toilet seat up. All. The. Time. I've fallen in. I've shrieked in the middle of the night. I've asked nicely. It still stays up. AND AFTER TWO YEARS OF ALWAYS PUTTING IT DOWN!!!!!!

I've always believed that a change in behavior signifies something....I'm just not sure what in this case!

So I asked him about it in a relaxed, "Hey honey, I've always appreciated how you've been so thoughtful about this. Can you please make the effort again?" kinda way.

His response is that he is now comfortable with me to a degee that he was not before. I appreciate this and I want him to feel comfortable, but to me I feel like I'm being taken for granted. (GF has been around 2 years...no longer need to make the effort. That's how I see it.)

This issue of asking him to try and he saying he will and then doesn't has been going on for over two months now.

FWIW, I've been wanting to get married. He is completely committed to me but needs small steps to get there so part of me thinks that there is truth to his new level of comfort...and he DOES act as if he is more comfortable too. He is 43; I am 38.

My questions: Men, I want to know from you: is this REALLY an issue of comfort? Do men really get to a plateau that is truly indicitive of a level of comfort--that shows in an overt way?? Is this a passive-aggressive way to piss me off (ha ha)? For women: When do my feelings factor in? How do you factor comfort with the courtesies of keeping a relationship alive? And yes... I even told him I'd be willing to leave the seat up for him when I was done.

I HAVE seen all the other posts about the toilet seat, but my question is really one of reaching comfort levels in relationships without turning in to roommates....this just happens to be coming through in way of a plastic toilet seat.

Any advice and personal experience will be most helpful. Thanks everyone!

I'm sure I'm being unreasonable, but...

Anonymous — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:38:25 -0800

What can I do to get along with my husband's family? My husband and I have been married 12 years, the last several of which have been somewhat rocky. He "met up" with a high school crush on Facebook and began an online emotional affair with her (she is married as well and lives in another state). After a couple months of high drama, that relationship ended and we are both working together on repairing our marriage. We feel pretty solid and have come quite a long way and I don't feel that this woman is a threat at all. The sticking point is that she is Facebook friends with my husband's brother and his wife, along with a few other mutual friends. My in laws know the entire story of their relationship and they know that it dredges up all sorts of memories of a particularly horrible time whenever I see her name, much less cheery messages back and forth between them. I've asked them once to please respect my feelings and to be supportive of what my husband and I are going through and to "unfriend" this woman, which ended in them giving me blank looks and vague "we'll think about it" answers and of course, they are still friends.

I'm really really trying to be the bigger person here and not let this bother me, however I agreed to watch their child while they go on a vacation next month-it was only after I said that I would that I found out that they are going on vacation with this woman. For some reason, this has me really angry. I feel as if the friendship with her is more important to them than my feelings and how seeing them make plans together and be all buddy-ish might be hurtful to me isn't a concern of theirs at all.

I realize I have no right to tell them who they can be friends with and I really should be the bigger person and go about my life, but it's difficult since my husband and his brother are close and my son loves his cousin. How can I spend time with these people who I feel are disrespectful of my feelings and still act like none of this bothers me? I'm trying to keep a friendly relationship for my husband and son's sake, but it's very difficult some days.

Ideas for a garden in the woods?

priested — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 09:41:56 -0800

Ideas for backyard garden on heavily wooded lot? Just bought a house in the mountains. Not a super large lot (about a third of an acre). The back half of the lot (past the fenced area of our backyard) is heavily wooded on a downward slope to a run-off that is dry 99% of the time. From the fence to the run-off is about 30 yards or so.

I'm interested in ideas that would accentuate this area but also lead to enjoying it more. I don't necessarily want to tear down the fence, but I do want to do something more than putting a picnic table out there. Any ideas? Has anyone ever done a water feature in a heavily wooded area?

Where can I find some USA-made jeans in Los Angeles?

rybreadmed — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 22:06:21 -0800

Where can I buy jeans in Los Angeles that are made in the USA? I got sick of all my clothing being made in China and Vietnam. It seems that no matter what store I go into (including "high-end clothing"), everything is made in Asia.

I want to wear jeans made here in the USA--without spending an arm and a leg. That means I want to spend less than $100, and closer to $50 would be much better. I want something comfortable, long-lasting, and perhaps in a boot cut--but I'm not a cowboy. I'm not looking for rodeo wear.

I went into an American Apparel, and did not like anything. It's perhaps too hip for the likes of me. I'm impressed with their desire to provide livable wages and make their product in downtown LA, but it's not my style. Up until now, I've mostly been a Gap and Banana Republic type of fella. I'd also like to be able to try on my jeans first, so buying something online sight unseen isn't going to happen.

What's a 14 Year Old Boy to Do In NYC???

musofire — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 07:38:11 -0800

My 14 year old stepson is bored in New York. What should he do? How about Montreal? My 14 year old stepson can't think of anything fun to do in New York. I know, I know. Me, I would go to the Natural History Museum. The Museum of Television and Radio. Ellis Island. The Cloisters. I would walk around. I might go swimming at the Y. I might even sign up for a language course.

He has rejected all of these. What other things are there to send a 14-year-old boy off to do by himself? He has no friends in New York, and I'm in Canada.

Also, he'd like to come back and spend some of the summer with us, in Montreal. Aside from the Just For Laughs Festival and La Ronde, what other fun things am I missing for him to do?

Help Finding an Election Day Piece

knmr76 — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 10:24:35 -0800

This is a shot in the dark, but maybe you well-read, politically minded people can help: I am trying to track down a short commentary I remember reading around election day 2008. It was written in a French newspaper, I believe, and it was a short piece, but the basic gist was: "Today we are one with america. that may change later, but today we're one" re: the Obama win. I feel like I saw it linked in Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish, but couldn't find it in the archives. I was voraciously reading so many sites at the time that I have no idea where it actually was. It was just a beautiful piece and I would like to read it again and keep it around. If it rings a bell with someone, that would be great!

How can I make a rad Stop-Motion animation in Final Cut

andromache — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 07:31:33 -0800

How can I make a stop-motion animation in Final Cut Pro from a series of many photographs? Details inside. I have a bunch of pictures that I'd like run in time with Grieg's "In the Hall of the Mountain King." I want to end up with a sort of stop-motion animation of these hundreds of pictures. Ideally, they'll play in time with the percussion (which speeds up--another headache).

When I drop a photo into my timeline, it automatically plays for 10 seconds, which is way too long given A. how many pix I want to show in a two-minute song and B. I want the project to have a filmic quality, and ten-second long frames don't give the illusion of motion. I can shorten their duration manually, but I'm dealing with more than a hundred shots here, but I'm guessing there's an easier way. So my question is:

How do I change my settings so that once I figure out how long (say, 14 frames) I want each picture to play, I can just drop a hundred or more of them into my timeline and they'll play for the proper duration?

Also, any tips on dealing with jpgs in FCP generally? I've played with them a bit in the program, but I've never done a project dealing exlusively with stills.

(My source files are over 100 jpgs, 1200x800px, and I need to end up with a 480x853 aspect ratio. I think I'll just have pillarboxing in my frame so as not to distort my images.)

Please ask for clarification if my query's not clear--I'll check the responses often. Thanks very much.

CBT therapist in nyc

skowtz — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 08:05:53 -0800

Looking for a good CBT therapist in nyc who takes GHI insurance? Any recommendations?

I'm boring, depressed, lonely and extremly pessimistic

Anonymous — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 06:51:18 -0800

I have no interests at all. Nothing appeals to me. I don't know if it's cause I'm depressed or boring. What's the difference???? Is there really even a difference???

If someone is chronically depressed, most people don't care. To them, they're just boring. Nobody cares about why they are boring, they're just boring.

I know I'm depressed. I been since I was 21.. but now I'm stuck in this position.. I'm older.. in my 30's.. have NO friends, and no real interests.

I try, but everything feels so, like I'm forcing it. I took up photography. But it feels forced. I took up art.. again it feels forced. I take classes because that's the only way I will actually do anything. I have no desire to do it if I'm just sitting at home..

When I'm home, like right now, it feels too lonely to do anything. I think the problem is all these things I'm doing are solitary and I can't figure out what the hell to do that involves people--yet I actually enjoy. And how do I experiment with this?? Everything feels so committed. Like if you want to join something that involves people, there is no 1 hour trial. You gotta buy equipment, you gotta train, you gotta be all serious about it. How can I just go out, one Saturday afternoon, and try some stuff. Not commit, not be too involved, in fact, not even be seen. I don't want to interact with people while I'm figuring this stuff out. Cause I'm way too freaking depressed. I'll be moody and grumpy and won't have that "positive attitude".

But if I can find something I truly enjoy, involve with people.. I might be able to be positive. But what??

ESL Textbook Recommendations

sdis — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 17:22:37 -0800

ESL Textbook Recommendations, anyone? I'm starting to teach English to some private students and to a few classes. With my private student, I'm going through my teaching resources relatively quickly, and I'm going to need some new resources relatively soon. I'm in the states for a couple of weeks and figure that this is a good opportunity to buy a textbook or two and use it to help build lesson plans.

My lessons have currently been broken up as follows, which has turned out very nicely so far:
A. 10 minutes: Review of previous lesson
B. 20 minutes: Lesson on English in some new context: How to talk about locations of objects, how to do introductions, how to talk about your family, etc. Currently using http://humanities.byu.edu/elc/Teacher/sectiontwo/sectionII.html lessons
C. 10 minutes: Accent elimination work, etc (My private student is Korean)
D. 20 minutes: Grammar lesson: working on some verb tense

I need good source material primarily for topic B. Any ideas or recommendations?

Inexpensive RCA-in, RCA-out, In-line DVR with no subscriptions?

Quarter Pincher — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 14:55:28 -0800

Inexpensive standalone (non-computer) DVR solution for in-line video game recording? Preferably RCA in, RCA out, with 10+hours record time uncompressed/highest quality. I'm looking for something that'll essentially perform like a "press record now" device akin to a VCR, that will record anything coming in through the RCA input, but with relatively uncompressed quality. I make a lot of video game YouTube videos, and most games do not have their own go-back-and-watch features.

I tried this with a VCR to "technical" success (but with hideous recording quality) and am considering digital options now. My father suggested a hard-drive-based digital video camera that has RCA ins and outs, but I wouldn't know where to begin.

Any suggestions for brands and models to start looking, or have similar experience to share?

Catfilter: If I spay my cat while she's in heat, will she continue to yowl for the rest of her life?

bunky — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 15:57:00 -0800

I thought my cat had just _finished_ her first heat and made a vet appointment to have her spayed tomorrow. Well, guess who started yowling and moving her tail sideways to display feline private parts?! Should I keep tomorrow's appointment and have her spayed _during_ her heat, or should I wait? I once knew a (human) female who took the Depo-Provera shot for birth control. Well, they gave her her shot at the wrong time in her cycle and she ended up having her period _all month_. I'm worried about something like this happening with teh cat if I go through with the spaying...and combing the internet for answers, I've seen it written that this can happen. Readers, do you know of this actually happening to a cat you know?

How to start off in life without begging

bookwibble — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 19:40:30 -0800

How does one who is just starting out in the world pay for starting out? I am currently a senior in college who is looking for a job. While I have yet to find one, I am still nonetheless concerned about where I will be living. Namely, I'm concerned as to how I'll be able to pay for everything.

I go to school near Boston, and I'm looking for jobs there and in NYC because I would like to stay in the Northeast and I don't know how to drive. I'm from NJ originally. I am well aware that the places I would like to live in are not cheap, but even if they were, I don't think I'd be able to pay for the first month's rent and security deposit that you usually need to move into someplace. I can't cover it myself, and, unlike some of my classmates, my parents can't help me out--they are not too well-off either, and I'll be lucky if they will be able to come up for my graduation. None of the jobs that I have been applying for thus far pay for relocation.

I know I shouldn't be thinking about this now, considering I don't even have a job yet, and I plan to move back home if I am unemployed by graduation, but this has been eating at me for a while. I tend to get worried about the little things sometimes, and listening to more and more of my classmates talk about their jobs and where they will be living does not help.

I've done some research on this problem online, and it sounds like my only real option is to take out an unsecured loan and use that to pay for everything. But I've done some research on that too, and I'm not sure if anyone will lend to me, especially now--last time I checked a few months ago, my score was in the lower 600s, but that was because of my student loans. I haven't had any credit cards or anything.

What I am asking AskMe for: what should I do? Has anyone been in the same situation? Will a bank lend to me? Am I stressing out over nothing? How do I stop being a big ball of nerves? Anything you can tell me will be much appreciated.

How do you center yourself, if you were off center to begin with?

kanemano — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 11:53:27 -0800

I have been blind in one eye since the age of two, so I know nothing of this whole binocular vision thing that people keep talking about, I have made it to forty without feeling I have missed anything (except the whole 3D magic eye posters from the early 90’s) but last year I started taking yoga and now I feel unbalanced, as if I am leaning to the side with the good eye, as a possible result I have developed tendinitis in the leg on my dominant side, Has anyone else have the result of feeling off balance from yoga and how do you realign yourself to a position that wasn’t plum to begin with. I just started a new job so I will have to wait a few weeks for my health insurance to catch up before I can start going to physical therapy.

Help me find this travel commentary!

jefficator — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 14:53:21 -0800

Help me find this travel commentary! About ten years ago NPR reviewed a book by a European (possibly French?) author about the European counterpart to American fascination with "quaint" European villages and towns. According to this author, Europeans are transfixed by the ubiquitous McDonald's and the identical layout of hotel and motel rooms across the country. Apparently, he and his travel companions made a game of always finding the light-switches in every hotel room without searching, because those switches were always in roughly the same spot.

The book may have been an attempt to retrace de Tocqueville's steps, though I'm not certain that was part of the book or part of NPR's comment.

I need to cite this book for an essay I'm writing. Can anyone recall the author or title?

My fingers are so tightly crossed!!

How to advertise my apartment for short term rent?

simmzu — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 01:08:47 -0800

I made a website for my apartment to rent it out in short term let. Somebody has any idea what to add there or where to advertise this. Was thinking about facebook. Somebody has experience? Tried sublet.com but it isn't working very good so far. [link removed. apartment is in milan] Thanks ahead for all help!

Why are file sizes different on XP to Vista Machines??

maxmix — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:44:22 -0800

Why do file sizes vary from Windows XP to Vista????? I have been transfering Photo files from my old XP desktop to my new Vista Laptop and noticed that the file sizes were sometimes smaller on the Vista machine by 200MB on a 1Gig file. I initially thought that some pictures had been missed, so tried copying them again. Noticing that they were still smaller. I decided to count the actual pictures and there was the same amount!!!
So, how/why is this possible???????

American working in Canada

kestralwing — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 20:47:09 -0800

What does an American who wants to look for work in Vancouver, Canada need to know? What steps are necessary and what's the best order to do them in? If you get a job, what is the usual way to handle questions like health care, American Social Security payments, currency you're paid in? Other questions I can't even imagine. (details below) My son-in-law is an architect with extraordinary computer skills. He has been working for a software company, sent around the country as a consultant to companies who purchase complex architectural software. He's just been laid off. He lives in Bellingham, Washington which is a 20 minute drive from the border. He'd like to stay in his (newly purchased) home, and Vancouver seems the best bet for having jobs and being within commuting distance. There seem to be jobs that would fit his skills, he has a great work history and excellent credit. But he knows nothing about the process of cross-border employment, and would rather not learn the hard way.

Any suggestions to make the process easier will be appreciated!

During reboots Win 2000 desktop box is not visible on network unless I log into it

flyby22 — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 21:45:26 -0800

I have a few Windows 2000 desktop boxes on my home network. One of them has been having a problem for sometime where after it reboots, I need to log into the box for it to be visible on the network. Otherwise pings from other machines keep failing. I usually log in using the Administrator account. All of my windows boxes are pretty musch same config having ZoneAlarm firewall, AVG antivirus, spybot, spywareblaster. I am wondering how should I try to figure out where the problem is. I have seen netbt 4319 errors in event log, which is about being another machine on the network same name. BUt I have tried shutting down all machines except my XP laptop which does not have same name at all and the main network problem i described earlier still persists. Any pointers would be very appreciated.

Can I lock in todays rates for a future building project?

Thrillhouse — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 07:43:13 -0800

Mortgage Expert Needed: How do I take advantage of these low low mortgage rates BEFORE I gain building approval. I currently own my home. Now that financing rates are crazy low its time to start planning that addition we've always wanted. Using home equity isn't an option since the cost of the addition would bring us well over our current home value.
Our only option SEEMS to be a construction loan but that requires that you have all your approvals before you can secure the loan.

My problem is that we need to complete a conservation commission review and approval before we can build. The problem with that is that we now have 2 freakin feet of snow on the ground and conservation won't even look at it until they can see the ground, spring at the earliest.

I'm afraid by then the loan rates will not be anywhere near where they are today and this will become less cost effective for us.

Is there ANY way to lock in today's rates for a future building project??
Are there ANY other options??

Friends episodes in Spanish?

By The Grace of God — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 05:29:31 -0800

Friends episodes in Spanish? Hi folks - where can I find Friends episodes in Spanish? My friend is looking for them as a christmas present, so they can't be all, erm, downloaded and stuff. :)

A box set of several episodes under £25 would be good. I assume she will pay to have them shipped from wherever, although it may be getting a little bit tight for Christmas Delivery but oh well.

English subtitles would be good but not essential.

Bonus question - any good Christmas Carols in Spanish collections you would care to recommend?

What is an appropriate Alice in Wonderland quote for a memorial?

namesarehard — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:08:04 -0800

Can anyone think of an Alice in Wonderland excerpt appropriate to the funeral of a dear friend? An old friend passed away after a long and difficult struggle. When we met, she introduced me to her favorite book, Alice in Wonderland, and it became a favorite for me, too. Her family asked that I say a few words at the memorial, and I would like to quote an excerpt from the book, perhaps about friendship... Does anyone have a more immediate familiarity than I do (it's been years) and have a suggestion? Friendship is not the only acceptable topic, but poignant is preferred (no Jabberwocky, please.)

Any other eulogy advice also welcome.

Thanks.

Where can I find the clip of Andy Hurley on Cable in the Classroom?

thebrokenmuse — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:13:39 -0800

Where can I find the clip of Andy Hurley on the safe sex Cable in the Classroom speical on MTV last night? I don't know what it was called but he, along with members of Liz Phair, OK GO and other random people on the street were talking about safe sex and sex myths. I can't find it anywhere, my google-fu is failing me.

In the clip, he said that he heard that "pulling out was kind of effective."

I can't explain why I need this, but its urgent. Ha.