I am feeling such anxiety about an in law family incident about a month ago. I am a conflict avoider. I don't think fast on my feet. But on the other hand, I am trying to stand up for myself more, because I have noticed how much it affects my health to hold my anger/resentment inside. It literally makes me sick to my stomach and tense all over. I wrote about the incident and how I feel my sister and brother in law are very inconsiderate about other people's time and money. I understand this is not my problem except when it affects me. My question is, what am I supposed to do now? I am not sorry for standing up for myself. But this family does not discuss problems, they give silent treatments for 10 years. It makes me so so so uncomfortable and I feel anxiety just anticipating the next family event. I don't want to feel like I am getting the silent treatment. However, I cannot avoid these people for the rest of my life.
Is it sociaIlly acceptable to google someone I knew, say 10 years ago, to find out what happened to them (e.g. where they live, what their career is?) I am not planning to contact them, I just get curious about where people ended up. If I search for someone on Linkedin, will they find out information about me at all, seeing as I don't have a Linkedin profile?
My partner and I have been together a long time and I have posted about issues with his sister before. I can see that his inability to draw boundaries is the real issue here and so my question is combination of how does one deal when a SO can't and won't draw boundaries and has a needy sibling who has a hard time backing off. We are all in our late 30s but emotionally in our relationship, it feels like he needs to take care of her, and be there for her and I can't get over the feeling that her very existence is now sucking oxygen out of my relationship, and i need to stop feeling like that. Details inside. [more inside]
This is my first time posting so I hope it's worded correctly. My husband is Hispanic and I am not. He is the oldest boy and his family and is extremely loyal to his siblings. Sounds great, but it isn't for me. My husband's brother and his wife take as vantage of my mother-in-law by dumping their kids at her house all the time. OK, this isn't technically my problem but it affects me in a lot of ways .... Like when she has an appointment and needs to drop them off at my house Etc. [more inside]
We are looking for a small city without cold winters that has a large body of water - no inland towns for us- and is vibrant, cultured and intelligent. We have lived in LA, NY and Miami and are now in Durham, Nc - finding it too woodsy and land locked and way to hot in the summer here. We both work and are in our early sixties.
Hi, I'm trying to put together a week of lectures on Women in Refrigerators for my students and I have gone and found Gail Simone's old list and looked at Feminist Frequency's episodes for Bitch Magazine, and I have some passages from a myth textbook and Joseph Campbell's work. But I want to add one of my favorite podcasts, On the Media. I vaguely remember the host Brooke Gladstone talking to a guest once and she says that when she was younger and she remembers watching those old black and white movies like Perils of Pauline she remembers there being something vaguely erotic or sexual about the way that the evil villains would tie up the damsels in distress and leave them on the railroad tracks, and she may have said she wrote her masters thesis on it? But I can't find a thesis on Proquest or JStor that Brooke published, anyone with a fantastic memory?
So took the cat to the vet because she had bloody stools for 2 days. We did fecal test is negative. Now she drew some blood and we are waiting for those results. We might do an ultrasoubd she said to test for colitis and other rumors. We had that happen before and can't tell you what it was. Just went away after treatment with metronidazole. They has giardiasis and coccidia on the past but that's 9 months ago. Got treated She is 1 year old ragdoll cat Any experience with this ? Any advice?
Today's reminder of why I hate airlines: Not a big United flier, but I have a flight tomorrow. Bought the ticket at united.com and created an account there. I did not create a MileagePlus account. Trying to install the United Android app, I find it won't accept the united.com username and password. At united.com, I can't log in with the username and password. It tells me it is not accepting username/password logins and refers me to the MileagePlus page. [more inside]
I have a younger half-brother who got married 2-3 years ago with a woman that he met at work. The two of them got married in court, and I had no idea that this even took place up until someone told me about it. It was either a family relative or someone else who told me. The two of them are introverted people who kept to themselves. The sister-in-law is a quiet person who was fully accepted by our family. The two of them eventually bought a house, and had a child at the beginning of this year. Everyone was excited about the new munchkin especially our parents. However, it was brought to my attention that the two couple have been very distant for the following reasons. [more inside]
My mom is struggling with a heart problem. She is not married and none of her children live in the same state. I want to get her signed up for a service that can help out when an incident crops up so she does not have to rely on friends and neighbors in emergencies. I've never dealt with anything like this before and I'm looking for advice about how to help her choose and engage a service. [more inside]
My partners kids (two-8 year old twin girls) came home last night after spending a weekend at their other home with their other parent. They were telling us about their weekend and told us that they were left in the car twice (Walmart & Target) while their mom shopped. They said the first time seemed like an hour & the second time they were scared so hid where people passing by could not see them. They said she left the doors locked, air conditioner on, car running, and that they were told not to open the door for any reason. I feel really uncomfortable with this for so many different reasons!! So my question is: Is there any way leaving kids in the car is ok? My feeling is 'absolutely not'!! and my partner feels the same. I'm new to this (no kids of my own) so I'm trying to determine if my really really uncomfortable feelings about this are in any way an overreaction. Thanks all!!
I think it's Bruce. I think he's wearing a denim jacket. He's raging against OR telling the young people to rage against the impending onset of liking jazz that happens when one ages.
My soon to be brother in law will be moving in with my partner and me for 3 months, and for a number of reasons, I am feeling very anxious about this. Looking to hear from others that might have had to deal with living with (difficult) family members, and anything proactive that we could do beforehand to make this living situation bearable. [more inside]
During the final battle in Big Trouble in Little China, one of the Storms is killed, and the lightning Storm enables the escape of another. When the lightning Storm flies away, Egg Shen says something in Chinese; a curse perhaps. What does Egg Shen say?
Early MMR for a 6 month old infant traveling to Belfast, Northern Ireland? [more inside]
I have old Spanish olive oil label, apparently from the 1930s. The printer's name, in small print at the bottom of the label, reads "A. Martinez" (although there is a slight chance that the "A." is actually an "R."). This name is followed by a dash and "Barcelona" and preceded by what looks like T* G*. The "asterisk" looks something like a superscripted yen (currency) symbol. All this is difficult to read because it is printed in black on a dark green background. The brand name of the olive oil is Vulcano.
I had phone and in-person interviews for a new job last week that went extremely well. I think odds are very good I might be hired, but I need a strategy for negotiating a salary! [more inside]
Boyfriend of 1.5 years and I considering joining homes. Some extenuating circumstances... [more inside]
Next week my wife and I will be driving our daughter from the DC area to Missouri to start college. It's I-64 almost all the way. We are going to hoof it going west, but coming back we thought we'd take our time and only drive 5 or 6 hours a day, turning it into a 3 day trip. That will leave us several hours a day to stop. [more inside]
I typed a bad PDF name, and the download failed. Now every time I load Firefox, it tries to download the file again, and it fails again. How do I get the file name out of the "to do" list?
I have two brothers-in-law, my husband's younger siblings. Both of them are getting married. The older of the two, who we'll call Brother A, has been planning his wedding for a while. His fiancé and he have been dating for a few years and are planning a traditional wedding for next year in August. The younger, Brother B, is getting married ASAP to a girlfriend he has only been dating briefly, for well... the classic reason for getting married in a hurry. They also want to get married in August, of this year. Brother A says that's "his" month. Is that even a thing? [more inside]
We're tired of sleeping on a twin sized futon mattress. Literally. Help us find a solution. Difficulty: Spiral stairs! [more inside]
Oh nooooo! Square reader connector pin broke off in my beloved iPad's headphone jack It doesn't protrude, I tried tweezers, needle nose pliers, and as suggested by some:bent thumb tack, hot paperclip, Bic Pen refil, everything but glue. Can't loosen it, I think it is really jammed. Others report apple can't/won't fix. PLEASE HELP, thanks
My bf is back in the us and has been living with me for 3 weeks. At first I made it clear that leaving the toilet seat up, not pushing in chairs, leaving everything plugged in/lights on and not closing closet doors bothered me. Small things to ask for, right? However, I had to mention these things far too often in the beginning until the point where I had to suggest he start looking for a place soon b/c I am used to living by myself and like to be comfortable in my house. He apologized and since then has made a concerted effort. He's gotten better and I've backed off on constantly reminding him as per his suggestion (giving him the chance to self correct), but some of his old habits are kicking back in. I'm trying to be reasonable but looking for advice on how to get him to be more self aware [more inside]
What I’m trying to figure out now is how to trust people again, trust myself again, and find myself/my voice again. [more inside]
So, Pete Seeger passed away, and I've seen a few people on social networking sites write "rest in power" when eulogizing. I noticed the people who are writing this are the activisty kinda folk (ultra-left, mostly atheistic). What does it mean? Is it a new phrase amongst these circles? [more inside]
I'm in the market for a new Android phone (currently wavering between LG G2, HTC One, Sony Experia Z1, Galaxy Note 3 with G2 the current favourite) and I will be back in my home country (Australia) for a week next week and want to try them out in store. What are your tips for testing phone sin stores to get an idea if you like them or not? [more inside]
Need Epic Italian restaurant in Manhattan. This may have been asked before but restaurants change and close all the time. Relatives are coming into Manhattan this Friday from Texas (originally from Long Island) and seek "epic pizza and Italian food". I know places in Brooklyn etc so please only Manhattan. They have a family of 4 and subways to Bensonhurst would be prohibitive. Special "Awesome Points" for "hole in wall" tiny places. Mifi-ites don't let me down!
I'm visitng NYC for the next couple days and would like to pack in some quintessential Christmastime in New York City activities. ! [more inside]
I haven't had many medical problems over the course of my life, but recently I had two (separate) "emergency" hospitalizations for a condition that I had been unaware that I had/have. (Complicated diverticulitis with perforation). Both hospitalizations were truly harrowing and have pretty much turned my life upside down. Very serious! In the hospital (the 2nd time) a surgeon who was on call told me that it really is not a matter of if I need surgery, but when I need surgery. (He says I need a colon resection). [more inside]
For reasons that were mutually beneficial at face value, I sold my car to my SO's parent. However, therein lies the problem.. any way to get myself in a better situation than the one I've inadvertently gotten myself into without realizing the full ramifications of my decision? [more inside]
My husband and I are looking for a hip, progressive, ethnically mixed city that is not over-priced yet. We have lived in nyc, Miami and La and have been priced out of all these markets with the overpriced housing. Considering Baltimore as I heard its not completely off the charts housing wise. I am a chef and teach cooking classes and he is in the renewable energy business and we work for ourselves. Both of us like good food, outdoors stuff like biking and hiking and enjoy a liberal atmosphere. Are we dreaming or might Baltimore be a good fit?
While on facebook, I saw a group photo of Catholic priests in India at St. Alphonsa's Tomb and Chapel, Bharananganam, Pala. While I am aware that it is the norm for Catholic priests in India (and some other countries considered tropical) to wear white cassocks as their street dress, and indeed, a number of the priests in the photograph were wearing them, there was something that was truly puzzling to me in spite of growing up Catholic and having attended mass and otherwise had contact with the Catholic church in two Asian countries, Japan and Thailand. In the picture of these priests gathered at this saint's tomb in southern India, there were some among them who were wearing robes or cassocks in shades of peach or puce, and light goldenrod. I have never seen priests dressed this way in any country, and I want to know if there is some special meaning to this. (For those who don't know about Catholicism, there is a lot of symbolic meaning attached to what priests and other members of the Catholic hierarchy wear, and why. There is actually a webforum devoted to people discussing what then-Pope Benedict was photographed wearing on public occasions and the philosophical and political implications of same). [more inside]
Six weeks ago I was flying high! Nothing could go wrong in my life and I woke up every morning with the smug satisfaction that life was superb and nothing could bring me down....Unfortunately, everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong in the last few weeks and I need help bringing myself out of this funk. [more inside]
A week before my former roommate moved out her dog came into heat, resulting in my own ankle biter marking everything he could hike his little leg at. Apparently in his haze of lust he decided that bathing the house in stink would boost his chances of getting a bit of action. Defiled items include the back of my couch, my box spring and the linoleum in the kitchen (where I keep him penned up when I'm out). Also some bedding and other small items I'm comfortable throwing away instead of trying to clean. Next week I'm moving to another property under the same management and hoping to get back most of my deposits (as well as keeping in the landlord's good grace) by getting the house as minty fresh as possible before I turn in the key. I'm looking for some low budget recommendations on getting the stench out. I would prefer they be methods that you've used with success, so if I have further questions I can actually discuss it with someone who has experience with the specific method. [more inside]
Basically I am a SERIOUS daydreamer and while I love this about myself and it makes me-time fun etc I have been told that I seem floaty and spaced out even in social interactions and I have noticed that people don't connect with me as much/take me as seriously!! This has not affected my daily functioning, but it is becoming a problem in my personal life and also in my work life because how am I supposed to achieve my goals if people don't connect with me or dismiss me because I seem 'distracted'... I would like to be more lively and focused and I would be grateful for any advice on that (I am anticipating lots of 'meditation' but would like other suggestions if possible as meditation is torturous and I have tried it and hated it.)
How to see the best in other people? [more inside]
Florida to New England road trip, [more inside]
The four of us (2 parents, a 12, and a 7 year old) will be there at the end of June for a week. We’re looking for a place that is clean, not crazy expensive, right on the beach (or certainly not more than a few hundred yards). It’d be nice if it has an oven and a fridge, but if not we’d definitely need it to have an on-site restaurant. We’d like a beach that is “gentle” enough that the young’uns need not worry about being swept out to sea, and prefer to stay away from the big box hotels, but are really open to any good suggestion. Gracias mil por sus sugerencias.
I recently dated this guy whom I have to admit I liked him a lot for the sex in spite of everything else I hated about him. He is your definition of a player, he is hot and cold, talks to you one weekend, and not talk to you the next. After three months of hot and cold behaviors, I have finally decided to let him go but inside I am still hurting. Any heart to heart advice? [more inside]
Is it possible for a person with dual citizenship (USA and Ireland; residing in the USA) to register and get insurance for an automobile in Ireland (the north of Ireland to be specific) if the person does not reside in Ireland? And if so, how? [more inside]
Low-income housing exists, obviously, for, e.g., a mother of four children with any kind of job. But I'm a man, 53, no kids, unmarried, and work independent contractor jobs. [more inside]
Have an oil painting, self portrait of my old man, there is an L shaped rip around 6x4in flap. What's the best way to repair it?
My 80 year old mother- in- law of 30 years talks non-stop about things I am not interested in----- but the people-pleaser in me keeps listening to her politely and I end up feeling exhausted. [more inside]
I have an olive oil label printed in France by A. Oliveau & Fils graveur in Bordeaux for a grocery store or outfit in Mexico City, Cia. Abarrotera. The label looks like it is from the very early 1900s. I would like to know when Cia. Abbarrotera and/or A. Oliveau & Fils graveur was in operation.
We're headed to England for Christmas. The plan is to fly into Birmingham and then use Stratford-upon-Avon as a home base (there are two productions that we want to see at the RSC). Are we crazy to consider renting a car and driving in England? Pros = We'll be able to drive to other locations we want to visit; we'll be able to get to supermarkets to stock our vacation rental. Cons = December weather (snow? ice?)? Driving a manual (will renting an automatic be cost prohibitve?)? Most importantly: driving on the left? Thoughts? Advice?
I am considering moving to Asheville and hear a lot about how hard it is to make a living there and how over saturated it is already with entrepreneurs. I am in my mid 50's and have been a successful private chef who is now teaching cooking in various small schools and in private homes. I am not thrilled with the northeast weather and thought of Asheville as a relocation spot. Having just visited there it seemed there is a lot of food buzz going on- I know it's a "foodie" town and think I might be able to succeed there. I am concerned about the rising cost of buying a house in the area and that I could find enough work there. Any input?
Solo January roadtrip from western Indiana to RI. Up to a week to do it in (if I really wanted to), want to visit a friend in State College, PA on the way. How can I make this the least amount of terrible? [more inside]
What is it like working in Asia? [more inside]
Should I trade my rebuilt title vehicle for any other vehicle, just to get an increased trade in value? [more inside]