She stole my name, now I get her mail

Anonymous — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 11:10:20 -0800

[unwantedclonefilter] Someone in my organisation got married and now has the exact same full name as me. I'm getting daily post, emails & phonecalls for her. What to do?? Background: I've worked at my (large) organisation for 4 years. Let's call it Microsoft. I have an unusual name. Let's call me Regina Phalange.

Now let's say there was another Regina, Regina Vandalay, who also worked for Microsoft in the same city, but did a completely different job in another department, another building.

Regina and Regina are blissfully unaware of each other's existence until one day, when Regina Vandalay marries an Art Phalange (with me still?) and decides to use her married name from now on. So lo, another Regina Phalange is born.

The original Regina Phalange(RP)'s work email address is the sensible regina.phalange@microsoft.com

The new RP changes her work mail, from her maiden name, to regina.t.phalange@microsoft.com

Immediately the original RP starts getting mail for the new RP -- much of it sensitive, confidential client information that she really shouldn't be seeing. No problem - she just forwards it back to the new RP.

But then the number of erroneous emails, phonecalls, voicemail messages (which then obviously have to be followed up) and snail mails that the original RP receives starts to become stupid. Let's take this back to the first person...

I am now getting 5-6 emails, phonecalls, phone messages and post PER DAY for the other RP. What prompted me to write in is the fact that I'm working from home today. Someone in my office took a message for me and called me to let me know. I don't have a company cellphone so had to call them back on my money, was put on hold for several minutes, only to find out that it was FOR THE BLOODY OTHER RP.

Grr! There is a certain amount of petty miffedness here ("she stole my name!"), but I'm now getting pulled out of meetings, etc. for "important phonecalls" that turn out to be for someone else, and it's eating into my workday.

Both the other RP and I have informed the post room, and when talking to customers we've both been specific about our titles (Miss/Mrs) and work addresses.

What else is to be done? Other than stomping over there and calling her selfish for not keeping her maiden name? Which would be incredibly inappropriate.

MeFites, I kneel before you. Bestow upon me your wisdom.

What does it mean to "be yourself?"

philosophistry — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 00:19:53 -0800

How do you "be yourself?" It seems intuitively people know how to "be yourself." However, I have a few problems:

- It seems paradoxical. How can you NOT be anything but yourself? It's like the oxymoron "act naturally."

- One of my inner desires involves the supression of my flaws and self-improvement. If I were to "be myself," would that involve surpressing that desire? If so, then is "being yourself" contradictory to change?

- Where does learning fit in? You may hear the aphorism "be yourself" when your friend notices you acting uptight at a club. However, a few minutes later, he may offer some criticism of your social behavior, such as, "stop acting the fool."

In my limited literature review, I found a two locii: identity crisis and self-actualization.

Identity crisis involves situations where people are committing to a false identity. But what makes one identity false and other's not?

Self-actualization is one of Maslow's terms, which involves cultivating your true potential. Again, what is your true potential? Here is some criticism from Heylighen [pdf]:

Though the need hierarchy seems relatively simple and consistent, the concept of self-actualization is not clearly defined. There is a difficulty with the concept of "actualization" itself, because it presupposes that there is somehow a well-defined set of potential talents an individual is capable of developing, but a human system is much too complex to allow the discrimination between "potential" developments and "impossible" ones.

The Greeks inscribed the maxim "Know Thyself" on the Sun god Apollo's Oracle of Delphi temple. However, I've studied myself, written countless journal entries, and seem to know every little thing about myself. And yet, I don't really think I'm being myself.

However, this may have something more to do with "self-acceptance." But then again, where do you draw the line between self-acceptance and challenging your limits?

What strategies do you employ to "be yourself?"

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She stole my name, now I get her mail

What does it mean to "be yourself?"