Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with identity

But I didn't even get to say goodbye!

Anonymous — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 20:25:24 -0800

I'm pregnant, and having a horrible time coming to terms with this new maternal identity. I know having a baby changes everything, etc., etc., but is it possible to become a mom and still stay, well, yourself? It's eight weeks right now, and while things have been pretty average in physical terms, I'm having a really rough time emotionally. The pregnancy was planned, but despite wanting kids I was never one of those women who was dying to be a mom; now that everything's taking on some physical reality, I'm kind of feeling as though I've been secretly replaced with another person entirely, one who's at present essentially a bloated, miserable fetus-incubating machine and who can only look forward to life as a faded appendage to Whomever that fetus grows into.

I think I was prepared for some change, but not for the suddenness or thoroughness of the switch-- right now, it feels like waking up in an entirely strange place, far from home, every single day, and I basically end up alternating between numbness and periods of gut-wrenching grief and longing for the person I used to be, before I was just Somebody's Mom.

I'd chalk this up to first-trimester hormones and try to soldier through, but it really does seem as though mothers, in many cases, end up losing themselves-- physically, emotionally, mentally-- in their babies, so I'm not sure there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I've read this thread, but I guess I'm just looking for some more specific perspective or reassurance on the whole identity issue. Is there a time in the future when I can expect the beloved old Me to come back? Moms, did any of you manage to maintain continuity between your pre-baby and post-baby selves? And if so, how?

Jungian literary criticism

leibniz — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 08:49:45 -0800

Help me find examples of literary criticism adopting the Jungian idea that all the characters are aspects of the same person. I am researching character from the standpoint of analytic philosophy of mind/emotions and aesthetics of literature. I am interested in exploring the idea that every character in a book is really just different aspects of one person. I take this to be derived from Jung's claim that everyone in your dreams is really yourself. So first of all, can anyone point me to an exact reference to this idea (preferably accessible online). And if not in dreams, then in literature, or even in real social life? Related to this is of course the stuff about archetypes, but I consider that idea completely secondary to the first one about distributed identity and I am much less interested in it.

Second, I am interested in finding examples of literary/film criticism that use this basic assumption to analyse a work. I am personally applying it to the work of Herman Hesse (who was analysed by Jung and where the connection to his works has been made before). But can anyone provide references to scholarly articles that do this (again preferably accessible online)?

By the way, I don't know much about the literary criticism tradition, and am generally sceptical of their style, so tips regarding that are also welcome.

Can you identify this caterpillar?

Phillycook — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:20:32 -0800

We keep finding these caterpillars in our house - Philadephia, PA - and haven't been able to identify them. We've asked the Terminix guy but he had no idea. We find them usually on the second or third floor, near the baseboards on the fitted carpet. We've Googled "caterpillars, orange, black markings, half inch to three quarters long.
We've been in the house for eleven years and we only see them in the spring and summers. Have shone them to a number of people and no-one has been able to identify them.
I really don't care, but Mrs. GoS is totally freaked out by them, as she is by any creepy crawly.

Facebook a privacy problem? Never would have guessed.

Slam I Am — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:47:24 -0800

Someone has accessed a friend's Facebook account more than once, despite the fact that my friend changes passwords on a regular basis. How? My friend logs out of Facebook after each session, and surfs on an unsecured wireless connection. I'm told no one else has had access to the computer.

What are the possible ways this is happening? What should be done to prevent it?

Are there seeds in this applecore?

self — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:23:57 -0800

How do I build a stronger personality? This is a complicated question, but I really want to simplify it- boil it down to a few points so that I can take your insight and explore their ideas in a branching manner.

It comes down to this:

I feel like I have but a small amount of real personality- that I have little in the way of moral values I can claim as coming to on my own, that I have only one or two main focuses of energy at any given time (and these often shift around randomly), that people can't point to me and say "this person is a real so-and-so", or "that's something so-and-so would say/do". Maybe people do say or think these things, but I certainly don't feel like they'd have any certain compass point to do so.

The flip side of this is that I feel like my self is very malleable- that whenever I'm speaking with someone, I will bend my conversation, mannerisms, and whatever else to suit them. This is unconscious. I feel like there's no other way to be around them.

I'm aware that there can be different instances of a person- that you wouldn't necessarily act the same way around your mother as you would your best friend, but this goes beyond that. Friend to friend, no matter the status of knowledge of each other, I change.

Have you ever seen Zelig by Woody Allen? I feel like the central character- but to me, it's not so funny. Helpless, I guess.

So I'm asking- has anyone out there have advice as to how to solidify myself? To get over what appears to be a lack of identity? Should I write out my feelings on various controversial topics and work out my critical thinking (this I have done, it doesn't seem to stick)? Should I shout out to the dawn my most terrible fears and violent passions and see what I blurt?

How do I get to know myself to the degree that, if one were to draw a graph of my personality where X was my interactions with various individuals over time and Y was the amount of change in my character, one would see a straight line?

I know, this is all very eponysterical. But thank you in advance. I hope I don't have to point out how vulnerable this feels to post non-anonymously. Be kind.

Sincerest form of flattery, or worse?

cobra_high_tigers — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 10:39:53 -0800

Somebody is joining social networking sites using my personal email address. Should I be concerned? Last week I got an email from Friendster, and yesterday an email from Orkut (in Portuguese, even!) about the account I'd just created at their sites. Only problem: I hadn't created an account at their sites. Obviously I did not click on the confirmation link in the email, but still. This is my personal email address (not the one in my MeFi profile), which consists of my real first and last name at gmail.com. It got me wondering... is this an attempt at some form of online identity theft or fraud?

I emailed Friendster about it, and explained the situation, and the CSR who responded said he deleted the profile that was created, but he explained it away casually, like "oh somebody probably just made a typo entering their email address." I was already kind of skeptical (like somebody made a typo and spelled my first and last name exactly, by accident?), but with another confirmation email from a different site, now I think somebody is doing this on purpose.

I know it seems kind of silly, like what's the worst that could happen with somebody setting up a profile using my email address on some dumb social networking site? But at the same time, I don't want some future employer to do a search on my email address and turn up a profile I didn't make with information about me that may range from just incorrect to outright negative.

Is there anything I can do to try to figure out who's doing this, and should I? Or should I just keep up this approach of waiting for confirmation emails, then writing the customer service department of that site and asking them to delete the account?

NYPL/Pylon font match?

activitystory — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 13:56:00 -0800

What is the font used by Pylon on all their records and singles and everything else? You know, this one. It looks similar to the font used for the word "Police" on some 1970s NYPD squad cars-- is it the same one?

It's the inside that matters. Right?

sixcolors — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:58:32 -0800

Do I have some sort of identity-crisis? I notice that more and more people are disturbed about how my self-concept has formed. Some people are disturbed that I will identify myself by personality type (strong extrovert and very spontaneous), my hobbies/interests, political views, and age group before I would identify myself by occupation, relationship status, gender, and race. Sexual orientation, physical appearance, and class falls somewhere in the middle.

I also relate to others the same way the same way I relate to myself. I sometimes get strange looks when I say I’m searching for a partner who is outgoing, liberal, likes sports, and likes the same type of music/food/movies. People often don’t believe that I would choose the above over someone who has a nice job, who is the same race, and super attractive (who doesn’t have the qualities I listed above).

People seem the most disturbed that I don’t identify by my race and gender. Well, I do, but they come very last. I’ve been accused of everything from having self-hatred (I don’t) to being plain stupid (according to them those are the two things that impact my life experience the most). I understand where they are coming from somewhat, but 51% of the population has the same gender and billions of people on this earth has the same race as myself. Why would I identify by those two things first? As for occupation, why would I identify myself by something I only spend 40 hours a week doing? I know this stuff is important in our society, but that doesn’t mean it has to be important to ME.

Do I have a fucked up sense of self? What are the consequences of me having a “strange” self-concept? As for relating to others, could this be the reason why I have trouble building rapport sometimes, they identify themselves as something completely different? Links to sources on this subject?

Can I replace a lost UK passport at short notice?

altolinguistic — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 08:00:30 -0800

Lost my UK passport, travelling on Wednesday - am I screwed? I can't find my passport, and I'm supposed to be going on honeymoon on Wednesday, to France (flying Ryanair). I live in the UK. I phoned the Passport Helpline to try and make an emergency appointment but they say I can only get a same-day passport if I'm renewing an existing passport, not to replace a lost one. They say it'll take 7 days to provide an 'emergency' replacement.

With no national ID card (though I do have a photo driving licence), is there any way I can leave the country without a passport? And get back in again once I've gone?

Bonus question - where might I have put my passport? I usually have a safe place where I always put it, but for some reason failed to do so last time I used it.

Does a freelancer really need a brand, identity and/or logo?

gottabefunky — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 12:21:50 -0800

This one's for the Mrs: As a successful freelancer in a creative industry (writing-ish), is it enough to have a decent website and nice business cards, or is it worth it to a hire a graphic designer to come up with a business "brand" or "identity" for you? (And what should this involve besides just a logo?) From a quick glance around, this service seems to start in the $thousands. There are always higher levels to aspire to, but still, it ain’t chump change, and marketing/promotion for freelancers seems so amorphous (Do I need it? Did it help get me more/better work?) How can you tell if the payout will be – or was – worth the investment?

How do I break into brand and identity design?

milarepa — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 08:55:50 -0800

I would really like to get into brand and identity design. What are my best options? I really enjoy everything about brand and identity design (the naming process, product or company positioning, the logo design, letterhead, business cards, etc). Luckily, in addition to liking it, it turns out that I am pretty good at it, too.

I just sort of realized all this in the last year, but have managed to pick up a few well known clients (e.g., designing a logo for a new product line launch of an international company). However, I really want to take this to the next level. My friend and started a design business together where we share responsibilities and that's going ok. But I really want a more long range plan.

1. What sort of higher degrees would serve me best? I was thinking of getting an MBA in marketing to help with setting up my own businesses and so I can be more reputable when making suggestions to clients.

2. Where can I go to submit my portfolio for possible freelance jobs?

3. My optimistic goal at this point is to somehow make a living doing this sort of work. What should I do to achieve this goal?

4. If you do this for a living, what do you wish someone would have told you or suggested years ago?

Thank!

How to start your life over from scratch?

Smarson — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 12:35:57 -0800

If you had to walk away from your life in a split second, how would you start over? Writing a short story about a character who has to leave everything behind in his life with no prior warning. Literally set up as walking down a street and sees "x event" (something from his past) and realizes that everything associated with his current identity is compromised. Consider he has no wish other than to get away undetected and set up a new identity from scratch with only the clothes on his back and the twenty odd dollars in his pocket.

I'm struggling with how my character can accomplish this. It seems like obtaining official forms of ID is a lot harder these days than just splicing a photo booth picture of yourself over someone else's drivers license a la The Fugitive or stealing the SSN of someone who is deceased like in Enough. Not looking for a step-by-step guide to identity fraud, more just a way to reasonably explain how my character is going to manage recreating himself. Beyond identification, what steps must he take to re-integrate into society as a new person?

For the sake of argument (and those who might want to play with the narrative) assume this person is male, between 27 and 37, college educated, middle class suburban/ urban upbringing and would be trying to fit back into that cross section of society. Classic protagonist moral outlook (morally opposed to hurting others unless provoked), but willing to resort to petty crime (robbery, fraud, etc.) on a short term basis for the purposes of survival. Contacting Police/Feds/Witness Relocation Program is out of the question.

I bought what???

JakeLL — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 17:29:23 -0800

Someone bought a telescope in my name on Nov 7th. That's all I know. How do I protect myself even though I don't know what store, or more importantly, what method of "payment" was used to complete the transaction? Recently in the mail I received a United Airlines Mileage Plus card addressed to a Dr. JakeLL. I'm not a doctor. My name is not at all common. At first I thought it could be a solicitation, but I decided to call the customer service number to confirm.

It seems however, that my membership was through an auto enrollment program because I seemed to have purchased a telescope. I did not buy a telescope. I asked for more information and to talk to a supervisor, but they had no more information than the product purchased and the date (Nov 7th). I would have tried demanding my way up the authority tree, but it became clear that I had reached only a calling center, and it seemed they genuinely had no additional information for me.

I'm not exactly sure where to go from here. Nothing is on my credit report considering the fact that the purchase isn't even a month old. I don't know where the purchase was made so I can't call the store. Because I can't call the store, I can't find out the method of payment. Because I can't find out the method of payment, I can't call to have whatever account they used closed. They're must be an option that I'm simply unaware of.

If you have any ideas that will help me protect myself, or that will help me discover more information so I can do something now, it would be greatly appreciated!

Wicked Stepmother Trashing my Good Name

almostmanda — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 14:06:51 -0800

The financial problems of someone who shared my name and former address are showing up on my credit report! How do I even begin to go about disputing this, should the credit agency's investigation not go in my favor? My father, who I am on shakey terms with, remarried a couple of years ago, to a woman who shares my first name and middle initial. So now we share a first name, middle initial, and last name. They've since divorced, but in the time that she was there and occupying my old address, she's managed to rack up a loan, a credit card, and a bunch of medical bills that Transunion seems to think are mine, and hasn't paid off a one of them. They've gone to collections. My Equifax and Experian reports are correct and show only good accounts (two credit cards without balances, a consolidated student loan, a private student loan--I've tried to take care of my credit).

I've disputed these accounts through Transunion and am waiting for them to investigate. In the meantime, though, what can I do to prepare for dealing with this? Since I gave Transunion my current address, I'm worried that her collectors are going to start hassling me. I don't know if this is a mistake on Transunion's part, or if this woman is opening lines of credit with my SSN--she's not exactly of high moral character.

My question is, how do I go about proving I'm not her, when we share a name and past address? Would all of these accounts have required a SSN number to open, and is there any way I can find out if she has used hers or mine? If she didn't open them with my number, the dispute should clear that up, but what actions do I take if she has been opening accounts with my information?

I'm in ur creditz, givin you old bad debtz

WolfDaddy — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:18:06 -0800

I have recently discovered that my identity was stolen. Fifteen years ago. I know the person who did it, or I did ... fifteen years ago. The person in question was once very close to me, and we shared all kinds of information at the time to be used "in case of emergency" and because our families lived nowhere near us.

The person in question only opened one account in my name as far as I can tell. It has taken the collection agency (or agencies, this debt appears to have been sold several times to several agencies) fifteen years to find me, and as of right now this debt does NOT appear on my credit report. Though after today I suspect it will. Which is annoying since I have enjoyed stellar credit. Until, I suspect, now.

I no longer know any details about the person who fraudulently used my ID to open a credit account. The last contact I had was nearly 10 years ago and we hadn't been close for about 12. I'm stunned that they did this at all. I've never heard of something taking this long to be discovered. I'm not sure what to do. Treat it as a "normal" identity theft? That makes me uneasy, as I can find nothing with the various reporting agencies that take into account my current credit and the age of the debt (and its absence from my report).

We've Been Revealed

SansPoint — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 08:47:09 -0800

Is my college being negligent about the safety of my housemate and myself? Recently, I filed a report with university police about my housemate who has made violent threats on another housemate and me. The school is holding a disciplinary hearing on Thursday about him, and has called the other housemate and I to testify. They notified the housemate who made the threats as well, informing him that we would be testifying against him.

Because of this, when I came home, I spent much of the night with my bedroom door barricaded, in fear for my own safety, and stayed awake much of the night. He did not come home until six AM, though I was worried (with cause) as to what he would do. Has the school endangered my housemate and myself by revealing our identities?

I can't believe I'm writing a follow-up question!

Anonymous — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 09:35:52 -0800

Now what? I disputed a debt as a case of mistaken identity, but I'm still hearing from the credit agency! I can't believe I'm writing a follow-up question!

A while back I asked about a threatening letter I had received from a creditor (J.A. Cambece) about a $5,000+ credit card debt in my name. Once again, I have no credit card from Citibank and I do not owe anyone anything. I got some excellent advice from the HiveMind, which I followed. I put fraud alerts on all three credit accounts, I ordered three credit reports, and I sent a certified letter from this site.

After I posted here (and before I had mailed my dispute or received my credit report), I got a phone call from Cambece. Now, that first threatening letter was the first bit of correspondence I ever received pertaining to this account. This was the first (and, to date, last) phone call I received from them. The man I spoke to said that he was calling to verify if I was the owner of the debt. I emphatically said I wasn't, and he told me the last four digits of the social security number associated with the account. They didn't match mine! I was so excited and thought the rest of this would be a piece of cake.

I sent out the dispute letter. I said that I was disputing the account and its charges. I said that I spoke to someone from their office and the person told me those four digits from the SSN and that they didn't match. I did not give the last four digits of my SSN. I was told not to give any personal information to them. I went on to say that, if there was still a question of whether I owe the debt, I wanted certain information about the account (name, SSN, contact info, date it was opened - really any information available). The form letter that I chose heavily quoted the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act, the Fair Credit Reporting Act, and possibly some other things I didn't understand.

After I sent it out, I got my credit reports. They're clean! They have my single credit card, which is in very good standing, and not one mention of a Citibank card (which is the one I was accused of owing money on). Nothing even slightly suspicious! So, it doesn't seem like identity theft is actually an issue here. And, once again, I don't owe this money. I'm not trying to get out of a debt that is mine. I don't have this card, I have no account with Citibank, my SSN doesn't match the one associated with the account, and it doesn't appear on my credit report. According to How Many Of Me, there are 88 people in the US with my name. There's a good chance that at least a fraction of the others got this threatening letter, right?

Basically, I thought the SSN not matching bit would have them instantly cross me of their list of potential owners of the debt, but I was wrong. Today I got another letter, also from Cambece. It didn't in any way address the fact that I had disputed the debt OR that I mentioned the SSN issue and suggested mistaken identity. It only relates to the bit where I asked for more information. The only thing different about this letter is that it was actually signed. It says (bolding is my own):

RE: Original Creditor, Citibank - Our Client, CFG

This firm represents the above named CFG. Our client is the valid assignee of Citibank contractual rights originating from the credit card agreement between you and Citibank. This firm received your request to provide you with verification of the above - referenced debt. We conveyed your request to our client and upon our receipt of the verification documents the same shall be forwarded to your attention. Often the information you requested is in storage and on microfilm or microfiche. It may take some time before the information you requested is located and forwarded to your attention. There is no deadline for the production of these documents.

Okay, I bolded the first bit because there never WAS an agreement between the creditor and me! Why was the dispute not referenced in this letter? Second, interesting that they should define that there's no deadline for them, even though they imposed a 30-day deadline on the last response, and probably will impose deadlines for me on any future correspondence. I recall, in my last post about this, that I asked how I could prove my innocence, and someone said that they had to prove my guilt (not the other way round). It's starting to seem like they've skipped that step!

What does this letter mean?! What do I do next?! What do I do if they keep contacting me like this!? How do I get this fixed?? Preferably, I would like to deal with Citibank personally. I don't have any plans to give any more personal information to the Cambece office. I have read a lot about them online (nothing favorable.. well, unless you count their own sites).

Thank you for any advice (the first post has the entire backstory)! I really am at a loss.

Who was Les Cripe?

seeka — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 23:23:11 -0800

Who was Les Cripe? Saw this name on a tombstone in Westwood Memorial. The name stuck with me because I thought it was a French phrase - which I tried to look up when I got home later in that day - no dice.

A month later, I checked out a book from the Los Angeles Public library. The front piece of the book said it was dedicated to the memory of Les Cripe.

I tried an imdb search for Les Cripe, and found the movie "Gods and Monsters" was dedicated to him (her?). Alas, the information trail has grown cold...

Anyway, is anyone familiar this person and what his/her impact on Hollywood (or other places) might have been?

I'm simply curious - the name and the potential mystery stirs my historical imagination. Thanks in advance for any information!

Give me back my identity!

Anonymous — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 07:08:12 -0800

Identity Theft Filter: How do I convince debt collectors of my innocence concerning an outstanding debt in my name (that isn't mine)? On Friday, I received a letter from a Boston-based attorney's office about an outstanding debt of over $5,000 on a Citibank credit card. The problem is that I don't have a Citibank credit card. The letter says that I must respond within 30 days to dispute the debt. If I don't contact them within that time, I would be, in a sense, accepting responsibility.

A bit of my financial history: I'm unemployed and live with my mother. I have a joint credit card with her (I'm the secondary name on it), and I don't really have any need or desire for it, so it's just for emergencies. I haven't charged anything.. probably in about a year, and we've never been a family that uses credit cards recklessly. I have never had any debts, and, in the rare case that something is charged, the balance is always paid off in full. No carried balances, no debt. Never. And that joint credit card is the only one I've ever had or applied for. Any credit card offers received in the mail are shredded to infinitismal bits. My credit report was clean as of May 11, 2007.

I haven't contacted the credit agencies yet (though I will in the next few days) because I already requested my free credit report this year. In May, I started receiving phone calls from a debt collection agency about a J.C. Penney credit card with an outstanding balance, and I assumed that my identity had been stolen. Many of the calls were recordings, which seemed a little fishy. Before I actually was able to speak to a real person at the debt collection agency, I ordered my credit reports and, luckily, they were correct and there was nothing remotely suspicious on them. When I finally was able to speak to a person at the agency, I found out that the person who held the account that was in debt had the same name as me (but with a different initial), as well as a different social security number, birth date, and mailing address. In short, it was determined that they just had the wrong telephone number for the woman, and I've never heard about this situation again. So, the only problem is that it's only been a few months since I've ordered my free credit reports. I thought I had read that if you suspect a theft, you can request a free copy (regardless of when you received your last copy), but I also read that getting your credit report via the website would be easy, too, so I'm guessing that neither are true.

Okay, so, I plan on checking my credit reports early next week, but I'll be contacting this law office (over the phone) before that. I have to follow up in writing, so I would get the credit reports before I send a letter. So, as I said, I don't have this credit card, and I've never had any sort of account with Citibank. I've also never received any correspondence (from Visa/Amex/MC, Citibank, or store, if this was issued by a store) indicating that there is an account in my name. I never received a card, bills, late payment notices, or any other correspondence. Why this sole correspondence now?

I have articles on what one is supposed to do at the sign of suspected identity theft, but before I do any of those things, I'm going to call the law office to dispute the debt. I am REALLY bad at phone communication and feel nauseous about the thought, so I want to plan exactly what I'm going to say in my defense and the questions I'm going to ask before I seek further action. There's a lot of information I'm going to demand - the full name the account is under, any full mailing addresses associated with the account, a social security number, the date the account was opened. What else should I ask that I haven't thought of? How do I dispute the debt? Based on what I've divulged here, is there anything I can say to prove that this is identity theft or mistaken identity? What should I emphasize to make a good case over the phone and, in subsequent written correspondence? Is there anything that I've said that I shouldn't mention.. that might even be detrimental to my case? I was told by a family member not to mention the J.C. Penney situation as it doesn't appear to be linked (or identity theft). Finally, how bad does this whole situation sound? Based on your past experiences or anything you know or have read, how difficult to rectify, and potentially damaging, does this sound? Do you have any advice??

Sorry for the length! I wanted to be complete, and I hope that I did provide all important information. I'm posting this now since I'll have to act quickish, but I won't be able to check responses until evenings. Also, if you should want to email me try my
Contactify, and, I'm in a right state, so any help/advice will be appreciated.

Should I segregate mefi and facebook?

jacalata — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 20:55:19 -0800

How much should I worry about having separate online and offline identities? I have tried to keep my real name and username pretty carefully separated online, so that knowing one doesn't easily get you the other, but now I have the chance to link from (realname) facebook to (onlinename) mefi and back and so on, should I stress about keeping them separate? What are the benefits I'm missing by keeping the identities apart? What disadvantages will I come across if I let them cross-pollinate? (Neither identity is famous or particularly strange so far as I've noticed).

If your leet hacker skillz itch to test my hypothesis that they are separated, please email me your findings rather than litter them in the thread.

Steal my family secrets?

GeneticFreek — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 20:42:04 -0800

Can people access information on Geni.com to steal an identity? We have started a family tree on geni.com and it is growing fantastically. However, as with every family, there are a few spoil sports. They keep telling relatives that it is an easy way for someone to steal their identity. Many visits to the security area of the geni site and explanations from geni have not laid these issues to rest. I am looking for anyone that can give me a story of were an identity was stolen and it was, unquestionably, due to geni.com

Manually developing a sense of identity

philosophistry — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 23:18:47 -0800

What are the benefits of affiliating or identifying with a subculture/culture? This usually happens in adolescence, but I've noticed people who all of a sudden turn goth or punk. It also happens in college, when an otherwise ordinary person becomes affiliated with a fraternity. Other people cling tightly to an ethnic group, joining ethnic clubs, and participating in their associated ethno-religious organizations.

Is there a benefit to seeking this out if you don't already have a particular social affiliation? Is it even concievable to manually sidle yourself into one rather than going about it naturally? Is the opposite even better... i.e. retaining some sort of glorious independence?

In other words, I'm considering making a list of various cultural sub-groups that I have some sort of identification with, picking the most relevant one, and committing to it for the sake of social expediency. Is this a good idea?

What's the Secret Password?

kaizen — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 16:51:36 -0800

How exactly does authentication work in a website like Basecamp, or more generally, a site built on Rails or LAMP. When I sign-up, I enter a username and password. I presume this is stored in a database table. But after that, how does the server know who I am during the course of my 'visits' and how does the SQL database know what I have access to ( only my projects ) and what I don't have access to ( Other peoples projects)? Where do cookies, if at all, come into play. If cookies do come into play, can they not simply be forged? I am completely clueless regarding the subtleties of authentication, user sessions, and security. Please enlighten me.

Did my ID get lost in the buyout?

de void — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 09:45:28 -0800

Should US DOJ I-9 Employment Eligibility Verification forms (and associated copies of ID) for employees of Company A transfer from Company A to company B if Company B buys Company A? Of course, there's So I previously worked for Company A and am now an employee of Company B via the buyout of A by B.

Buyout occurred in middle of 2006.

HR Manager of Company B is just now (Feb 2007) demanding that I, and other former employees of A, fill out a new I-9 and provide copies of the requisite identification.

My issue is - what happened to the I-9 and ID copies I originally provided to Company A? I'd hate to think that mine, and hundreds of others, are sitting in an old file cabinet somewhere just waiting to be brokered to the identity trading underground...

Should I be asking Company B where Company A's records are, or do I need to just shut up and fill out the new I-9 and bring in a copy of my passport again?

Stay at or leave my part-time job?

frosty_hut — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 13:11:20 -0800

I've always been a late-blooming underachiever. Is it time to get off my butt and get out of my lousy part-time job, or should I keep my lousy part-time job because it gives me time to work on my book (I'm writing a novel)? I'm torn because there are good and bad things about my work situation (it's a radio job). Long story short: I'm currently doing an on-air shift and some audio data entry. I've been told that my on-air stuff will be going away in 2007, so I'm going to be a grunt again.

The good things are that people leave me alone to do my job, and I don't have to interact with a lot of bozos. The bad part is, I'm losing support (my mentor and supervisor was laid off recently), I've been here seven years and have never gotten a raise (and won't be getting one), and the creative, fun aspects of my job are going away. There's no sense of development, no challenge, no career path, etc. I just type some stuff into the computer and go home. It's like punching the clock at the tool and die. I have no pride in my work, don't feel any passion (how could I, for data entry), and there doesn't seem to be a way to improve my situation if I stay here. My vanity has been wounded, I feel taken for granted, I've lost my main champion, and I'm down every day at work.

My DH says I should think of the job as a source of money, end of story--that I should use it for what I need and stay glued to my novel the rest of the time. I'm leaning toward this, but find myself waxing nostalgic for the kind of job where there was a palpable sense of being considered talented, attended to, appreciated. Haven't had that feeling in a while and I miss it. Am I just a whiny egomaniac in withdrawal?