Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with housemates

How to rid a communal housing situation of fleas?

dustyasymptotes — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:47:28 -0800

My house has fleas. My cat seems fine. What to do? I got my cat last September from a friend who had rescued him off the street. The cat had infested my friend's house with fleas, as well as my friend's parent's house. I brought the cat to the vet immediately after I got him and treated him with Advantage. No fleas on cat. No bites on housemates. No fleas.

My cat is mostly an indoor cat now, but he escapes all the time and we've let him out a few times in the summer because he enjoys being outside so much. I was negligent and didn't think about the flea risk until I noticed my cat scratching a lot at the beginning of September and a housemate mentioned that she had a few unidentified bites. I applied the remaining tube of Advantage immediately and the cat has stopped scratching and my housemates haven't been bitten. BUT about a week ago, I started getting 2 - 3 bites a day and saw something jump off of my leg that looked like a flea tonight. I've checked my cat for flea dirt and so far he's been clean. I'm going into the vet on Saturday to get more Advantage to apply on the cat for the next few months, but I'm worried that the fleas will continue to stay off my cat and start biting more people.

I've read some of the other threads about cat fleas and many of the proposed solutions don't work because:

- I live in a co-op house with 11 other students. we can't take off on vacation for a few days while the house is being fogged
- The house is an old 3 story Victorian with a gazillion little closets and nooks. The cat sleeps and hangs around /everywhere/. I don't think we can coordinate daily sweeping/vacuuming in such a way that it will actually make a difference
- My housemates will probably be unwilling to be exposed to borax or any other overly toxic treatment
- We have a tight budget. If there is a fogging method that doesn't require people to leave for a few days, I shudder to think of how many foggers we'd need for all the rooms and how expensive it would be.

I'm going to ask the vet about it when I go in. I'm a bit doubtful of her knowledge about human-flea problems because when I asked last year about other treatment methods that could complement Advantage in the case of a severe infestation, she was very dismissive and didn't think severe infestations happened in Toronto anymore.

YANMPestController AskMefi, but please help me think up of some creative ways of kicking out the fleas!

(I will try the soupy water with lamp method tonight and report back)

TaxMe Questions

ottereroticist — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 07:55:25 -0800

Questions about handling income from housemates and home office deductions. I've had housemates since I bought my house ten years ago. This has been an informal relationship, with no lease or written agreement. I've never declared this income, considering it more in the line of friends sharing living expenses than a rental business per se.

Now I have an accountant for the first time, who is recommending that I start declaring this income. I'm trying to figure out what to do, but I'm confused by what I've heard and read.

What are the downstream implications of treating one's home as a source of rental income, both in the current tax year and when I sell? On the other hand, what are the risks associated with not declaring this income? If you or someone you know is in this situation, how do you handle it on your taxes?

An additional question on the home office deduction. If the square footage of my office is only 10% of the area of my house, is it still worth it to take the deduction? Is there any downside to doing so, such as post-sale consequences? My mom says taking the home office deduction puts you more at risk for being audited. How true is that?

Thanks for your patient explanations, Mefites.

Chew her out, stick it out, or move out?

Anonymous — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 20:27:57 -0800

RoommateFilter: My roommate of over a year really gets on my nerves, and I’m too timid to confront her. Is it too late to do anything besides move out? Last year, I moved into a beautiful apartment with one of my best friends at the time. You can probably imagine the end result: she’s not one of my best friends anymore. We rarely hang out anymore, even at home; I have been avoiding her and she may be doing the same. The very things that I found fun about her as a friend come off as immature and irresponsible now that I’m living with her. Sometimes I’m not bothered by her, other times I can’t stand to even hear her name, but overall I am not happy sharing a place with her. We’ve lived together for over a year and have over six months left on the lease, and I’m wondering if I should bide my time until the lease expires or do something about the situation now.

For starters, she’s an unabashed slob. I don’t mind clutter and am often guilty of it myself, but I try to keep it contained. However, she lets her mess spill out into the kitchen and living room, including and especially food-related mess. There are frequently dirty pots and pans in the living room. I barely go into the parts of the apartment that are covered in her stuff – there might as well be an invisible line down the middle of the apartment between her space and mine.

I also don’t find her reliable. She’s generally good with getting the rent on time, but she’s been known to flake out on things she’s said she’d do with or for me. She recently agreed to host a surprise party for a mutual friend, for which she didn’t prepare and didn’t even arrive to until after some of the guests did. She’s also been known to invite friends from out of town to stay at our place without asking me. We have more than enough crash space, so I don’t have a problem with it in theory, but “oh by the way Jane’s staying over tonight” gets on my nerves.

How could this have gone on for so long? Simple: I’m a wuss. I’m terrified of confrontation and, when I do get frustrated enough to speak my mind, I often soft-ball it or get talked down easily. I’m scared that confronting her would turn our cold war into an all-out battle, and my living situation is stressful enough as it is. On top of that, I’ve kept my frustration quiet for so long that I worry anything I say now would be too little too late.

We haven’t had official house rules, and I’m not sure they’d work at this point.

Lately I’ve been thinking of moving out. At this point, this is a bridge I don’t mind burning, but I also want to be diplomatic and fair. I don’t want to be too much of a jerk. And, since we have several mutual friends, I want to be able to make a clean break without jeopardizing my friendship with them. Moving will put considerable financial strain on me, though I should be able to find a small apartment that does not cost too much more than my current share of the rent/utilities. If I move, I will likely live alone.

Whether I move or whether I talk to her, I’m not sure how to go about doing it. Both options make me quite anxious and I’m not sure I can pull either off. I can survive with things as they are, but it’s not ideal. My strategy so far has been one of disgruntled avoidance, but considering I’m posting this question, it’s not really working.

In case you need it: timidroomie@gmail.com

"why do I always end up being the one who..."

Oobidaius — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 13:04:48 -0800

What are some good ways to avoid strife and keep things fair in a shared living arrangement? Somewhat exhaustive explanation inside. Some background: three of my friends and myself will be moving into a four-bedroom house this week. We are all going to be paying the same amount in rent, since the rooms are all more or less the same, but I think there's some other areas in which the financial burden is less clear-cut.

We've all been on vacation the past two weeks so we haven't had a chance to sit down and establish some rules, but I was wondering what sorts of things have helped minimize discord in similar arrangements any of you have been in? Specifically, how can we make sure that we are all contributing equally (or contributing commensurate to our usage of) with regard to things like food, toilet paper, utensils, etc? That is, to the best of my knowledge, none of us really own the sorts of things that in a house, you take for granted as being there (like cutting boards, or vacuums, or whatever). Since these are things we're all going to be using, what is the best way to split the cost without making it impossible to figure out who gets what when our lease expires (we only have the house for a year since it is getting developed, so there's no question that we'll have to divvy up some of the stuff at the end of the year)?

Slightly more potentially sticky is the question of transportation. Since we'll all have more or less the same schedule, we'll probably want to carpool since it wouldn't make sense for everyone to go separately. But, only three of us have cars (that is, the three of them since I'm the one that doesn't). If you've ever been the person with the car, what sorts of things did your ride-bumming, car-borrowing friend do that made you feel less exploited about the arrangment? Obviously, chipping in for gas money, but what about insurance, etc? Public transportation isn't really much of an option where we are, so I'll probably need to borrow a car to do very basic errands as well.

Ultimately, I want to make sure that we have a system in place to preempt any misunderstandings caused by misjudging the liberties our respective friendships might allow. You might trust someone with your deepest darkest secrets, but that doesn't mean you won't get annoyed if they consistently don't do their fair share of grocery shopping/cleaning/whatever.

I realize this is a big question that can be answered with regard to a variety of aspects, but I'm looking for any sorts of guidelines that you have succesfully used to keep things fair in an arrangement like this. Thanks in advance.

How can I get my roommates to clean up after themselves?

k8t — Tue, 25 Oct 2005 08:28:17 -0800

How can I get my roommates to clean up after themselves? I am living in a new house situation with people in the 20s, all graduate students, all female -- 2 of us have lived on our own for many years, 2 are right out of undergrad. The 2 out of undergrad are the subject of this post. We have a shared kitchen. We aren't sharing food - using the sticker method instead. We have plenty of plates and flatware but lack in pots and pans. We generally don't cook together. Two of the 4 roommates NEVER clean their dishes or pots. They also tend to leave stuff around the living room area for days on end. I wouldn't care, except when I want to cook, I have to deal with washing out pots myself and cleaning off the counters for there to be space to prepare. And occasionally if I left the plates/flatware stack up, there aren't any of those either. I've been VERY direct (while being polite at the beginning) about asking them to please wash their dishes and cookware after they are done eating. I've done this on a number of occasions. I've also tried being indirect and sending e-mails. I've said it to them to their faces, while friends are over, etc. I also called a house meeting and addressed this (there is one other roommate who is also annoyed but is being passive-aggressive about it.) They only response is that they feel that putting dishes in the dishwasher is ENERGY WASTING. (and this was their one complaint about myself and the other roommate - that we tend to use the dishwasher and the dryer more than they do.) My next idea is to tell them to suck it up and put the dishes in the washer or ELSE. But what can my else be? Thanks! PS, I'm only living here (and in this country) until June, so I don't want to have to buy more pots and pans.

Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun...

Anonymous — Fri, 19 Aug 2005 20:27:57 -0800

Booty call etiquette: I'm flying to Hawaii for two weeks to meet a guy. So now what? (inside text maybe NSFW) I'm a somewhat inexperienced woman, going to meet a man I've been corresponding with for two months. He lives in Maui right now. We met online through springstreet. We anticipate being at the very least good friends, with the distinct possibility of something more.

Bare facts: Both have reviewed sexual history/exposure to mutual satisfaction and been tested as appropriate. I have reviewed his (extensive) online presence and am satisfied to his sanity and the improbability that he is a serial killer/rapist. Will be staying (on the spare bed) in his rented house with three other roommates (two are dating each other). He has his own room and bathroom. The kitchen is shared.

I'll be bringing all the usual vacation stuff (sunscreen, sunglasses, swimsuit, etc.), plus condoms and the like.

So my questions:

1) Is there anything that is not immediately obvious that I should toss into my suitcase? I have a strong preference to avoid checking any luggage, so carry-on appropriate items are okay; things that have to be checked, not so good. (So, you know, no handguns, okay?)

2) Have any of you done/been in a similar situation? Did it turn out well or...not so well? Do you have any recommendations or guidance to offer this sexually inexperienced questioner? Any kind of guidance is welcome, regarding both social and sexual situations.

3) Is there anything I absolutely should avoid doing/bringing?

4) What about the housemates? Yes, common courtesy and cordiality rules, but I've always found the concept of housemates kind of weird, so are there some huge no-nos about housemates?

5) Is bringing any nature of gift appropriate or overkill? I'm running up against the polite bringing something to your host vs. ...well...maybe shagging him. What to do?

6) Anything I should make a real effort to see/do while there? He lives in Makawao.

Not helpful: warnings about the dire foolishness of this endeavor. I have a mother for that, thanks.

Should anyone respond anonymously I can be reached at my username at gmail.

If you don't trust your housemates, where do you keep your washcloth?

bingo — Mon, 30 May 2005 17:25:40 -0800

If you don't trust your housemates, where do you keep your washcloth? Well, it's not that I don't trust them per se; it's that I don't trust them not to use my washcloth, or my razor, or my soap, etc....and anyway, there really isn't any place in the bathroom to hang my washcloth, except the shower rod.

The issue is that my bedroom is tiny and crowded, and if I bring wet stuff (soap container, washcloth, what have you) back to my bedroom, I don't know what to do with it that won't end up in mold or some other unsavory result.

Right now I have a dop kit that I carry my razor and other small essentials in, and I leave the big items, like the shampoo bottle, in the bathroom. And my soaps are all liquid, in bottles, so I just rub them on with my hands, and the thought of others using them doesn't squick me out too much.

Still, the situation is silly and I keep imagining that others have found an easy solution that I just don't know about. Sometimes I think about putting some kind of small basin in my room, with hooks above it, whereon I could hang a shower caddy that I would each morning take to the bathroom with me. And yet, this seems ridiculous. Has anyone found a simple way to deal with this kind of situation?