I was so horny it made me sad.

Anonymous — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 07:38:03 -0800

Depressionfilter: Help me understand a sudden increase in libido and its emotional aftermath. Context: Male, British, 26, straight, depressed (but not too badly, but then again maybe terribly).

I've been single for over three years. No sex, no kissing, nothing. No attempts made to be otherwise. No approaches from any women. Until recently, this hasn't been a problem. My sex drive has been easily managed, and my loneliness has been kept in check by my depressive thinking (women are beautiful magical wonderful creatures, but they'll never want you, ever, because you're awful, so go read a book or just die or something). This was all fine and well, or at least bearable, until a few weeks ago.

Then, out of nowhere, my sex drive exploded. It was like when you hear about a transgender person first being given testosterone - throbbing pulse, mind flooded with pornographic visuals, sexual desire like I've never felt before. Everything made me think of sex. I practically wanted to chase after women and start humping their legs in the street. It was absolutely horrendous. I could barely think. This lasted for about two weeks then finally abated.

Since then my sex drive has still been higher than it was before, but it's no longer driving me crazy. And, heartbreakingly, my perception of women (and myself) has changed slightly. Instead of seeing myself as fundamentally broken, awful, and disgusting, I've been thinking that, hey, I have a lot of good qualities and there must be a girl out there who'd think I'm okay. And instead of seeing desirable women as something completely alien, like a unicorn, I'm seeing them as real people who might, just might, maybe, one day, be interested in me. This is a big shift, and I suppose it's a good thing, but it brings into sharper focus how lonely I am and how much I crave sexual release, intimacy, and companionship. (Although, clearly, I'm not in the right place for a long-term-serious-relationship, and nor do I want one.) It's as if almost overnight I switched from being one of those sad, lonely guys to being one of those sad, desperate guys. And it hurts.

So I have two questions for you. One, what actually happened here? Two, what should I do next?

[And a few specifics about the depression: I think I've been suffering from a long-term non-crippling depression. I am functional, but self-esteem is an issue. I saw my GP a few months ago and he suggested computerised CBT, which I've singularly failed to engage with. I'm thinking of going back to see him soon.]

Disposable email at nonboinker3000000000@googlemail.com

[I asked this [http://ask.metafilter.com/134559/Too-horny-Cant-think-Need-sex] question previously, when I was in the grip of mind-warping hornyness. I'm quite ashamed of it now. I think this new question is more honest, but to me writing always feels like a kind of lying.]

Thank you.

How creepy is polyamory?

pornucopia — Fri, 09 Dec 2005 08:39:58 -0800

Non-swingers and non-polyamorous people: Do swingers and polyamorous people creep you out? Yes, this question is directed at people who don't have experience with polyamory or swinging. Thanks.

Let's imagine you have a coworker, and it comes up in a conversation that he or she is polyamorous. How weirded out would you be? For example:
You: Hey, why didn't your husband come to the party last week?
Coworker: Oh, he was out with his girlfriend.

Or maybe..

You: Who's that guy your wife was flirting with at the BBQ?
Coworker: Oh, that's Jeff, just a guy she's having a fling with. I'm dating his wife.

I can imagine that this information could be presented in a very creepy manner, leering and winking and snickering, and so on, but let's just imagine that there's nothing creepy about the person or the presentation... we're just judging the creepiness of the fact that this person is polyamorous, and you know them/work with them.

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I was so horny it made me sad.

How creepy is polyamory?