I'm sick and depressed and I don't know how to stop it [more inside]
How can I maintain some optimism about my child's future, given the crappy crappy world we live in? [more inside]
I would like to sense God in my life. I go to church regularly, pray, and read the Bible to understand Him better but I still have such deep bouts of depression where I either don't trust or sense his presence. There is a wide gap between what I believe with my heart and what I understand in my head. For example, I understand and believe in the sovereignty in God but when hard times come or extremely difficult emotions (despair) arise, that is the first thing I question. I am not looking for an easy life or a perfect life, just one that is able to trust God more. Any opinions on how to do this? I feel a great tension between trying harder, and just letting go but my letting go resembles more closely giving up than "letting God" if you know what i mean. To summarize, I want a stronger faith. Any ideas? Thanks so much for input.
I remember seeing about 2 years ago a clip where Anna Deavere Smith was doing a piece on Cornel West. Channeling him saying that he uses the "language of despair" because you must despair before you can hope. Something like that. It was quite moving...and I've thought about it many times in the interim. [more inside]