Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with homeless

A Shaggy Gentleman

electronslave — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 03:11:50 -0800

What is the difference between liking travel and being a global bum? From the tender age of six months, I've been rambling around the world nonstop. I'm considering departing my current location and settling in another, but I'd be sacrificing yet another relationship, yet another job, yet another life. So on. What do I have to look forward to, anyway? Finding out that girlfriend #n has yet another exotic STD?

Can someone else with a compulsion to move every so often tell me what's going on? When I was 18-22, I was fine in one place -- take a road trip, the itch left me just fine. When I was 23 and 24, same deal but longer haul. I had to really put my soul into escape. Last year and this one have seen me jumping like a flea between continents and countries, doing what I please, in every sense of the word "do." I can't make myself stay still or feel happy, and something is very very wrong.

Yes, I understand the acceleration of time as one gets older. It hurts, but that's not the question.

Am I becoming a bum? Whereas before I had to have a specific Dansk flatware set, a full set of Bodum Bistro glasses, Great White plates/bowls/teapot from Pottery Barn, a full 1000 thread count dining set from Linens and Things, and a bedroom set from Crate & Barrel ... now I feel like I'm happiest living on the street with long underwear and a toque, programming websites on my eeePC for booze money.

Can someone else along this path answer my next question: am I an entrepreneur for hiring other people to do my jobs for me, or am I entirely insane? I'm fairly sure this business venture is illegal, but it seems like if I make enough cash, I can immigrate here.

And dear sweet internet, spare me from romanticizing my ordeal, like this dude here, k?

One more week to find a place

squidlarkin — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:01:42 -0800

Is apartment moving always this hard? For everyone? I feel like I must be missing something. Apologies for this vague, panicked, ranty "question" but I really would like to know what I'm doing wrong and how to avoid this in the future. As far as I can tell, the process goes like this:

-Most openings don't start getting posted until a month before the move-in date.

-Your existing landlord needs to be notified in advance, so you're already committed to moving out.

-The vast majority of places require a $30-$50 credit check fee per person, non-refundable, guaranteeing nothing, before you're even in the running. Which severely limits how many places you can apply to unless you have a lot of money to throw away.

-At least four other people have applied at each apartment. Some of them have better credit and references. Eventually you find out that the places you applied at have all been giving to someone else.

-You start checking prices of self storage units and calling in your couch-surfing favors and hope next month goes better.

Except I don't think the last step is part of the standard procedure for most people. So what am I missing?

How do I photograph, help, and respect the homeless in my community?

JRGould — Sat, 17 May 2008 07:45:40 -0800

Hey MeFi, long time listener - first time caller here. I'm looking for guidance on how to help out the homeless in my community, further my photography career, create awareness, and do this all with the utmost respect. I've had this idea for a bit and now I feel really compelled to bring it to action. I want to go out into my community with a camera, a recording device, and some compassion to interview and photograph some of the homeless that most people look through every day. I'm pretty sure that my local weekly will help me to publish these photos and brief stories and I think it would be a great way for me to overcome some fears, take some great photos, and hopefully help these less fortunate people by causing awareness in the community, as well as providing them with some sort of 'thank you' that will make their lives a bit easier, however momentarily.

So to cut to the chase I have a few questions:
1. How do I approach this in the most respectful manner possible?
2. What can I give these people? Preferably something that can be donated by local businesses and in a large enough quantity that I don't have to only give it to those who agree to be photographed, interviewed, and sign a release.
3. What questions would be the best to ask?
4. Is there anything missing from this equation?

Thanks so much for all of your help! (I am leaving for the day now, but I am anxious to check in on all of your sagely advice tomorrow morning!)

Graduation gift for a future homeless counselor?

scottso17 — Wed, 14 May 2008 09:43:22 -0800

My sister graduates college this week, and I want to get her a gift that will be useful for her at work. She'll be counseling homeless people at various shelters and other locations in Washington DC. Besides pepper spray (our running joke), what are some practical gifts I could get her? Price is not important. This will be her first time in the workforce, so some general work stuff might be good, but I'm at a loss for ideas. Also -- something that a mobile worker (i.e., without a regular desk) could use might work too.

I tend to buy her techie gifts, but that's certainly not a limitation. She's very stylish and loves trendy things.

Thanks for your ideas.

Help us fill 100 hungry bellies.

deathofme — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:40:01 -0800

Help us fill 100 hungry bellies. We want your ideas for a good meal to serve one night at a temporary warming shelter. Our group of four is in charge of dinner for the night of March 14. Our main limitations are that the meal be hearty and filling, but not too complicated. And, since we all work 9 – 5, that it can be (mostly) made the night before and heated/finished the night of.

Ultimately, we want to make a full meal with entrée, sides and salad.

We are expecting approximately 100 people.

This is in Michigan and it’s cold!

Staying classy as a homeless in San Diego

hobbes — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:20:05 -0800

Staying ~~classy~~ cheap in San Diego.. where should I stay overnight? And any neighborhoods to avoid? Flying from SF down to San Diego to listen to a Robert Irwin lecture in La Jolla. Don't have any hotels/hostels booked, and I wanna minimize how much I spend.. what are some parks I can stay in overnight without being bothered by authorities? If this is actually too sketch, I'm open to staying in a hostel, but it seems like most of them only accept out-of-state, or international residents.

Thanks.

PS Anyone wanna climb on Friday, or Saturday? I'll bring my harness and shoes in that case.

Homeless in Florida

pearlybob — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:23:37 -0800

Temporary emergency housing in Stuart, Fl.? A very good friend has found himself in the awful position of being evicted tomorrow. The reasons are long and varied, some his fault, some not. Regardless, he needs a place to stay ASAP. He is a wonderful person with a teaching post at a very established institution. He's just had a run of bad luck. Any ideas what someone in this situation should do? Resources? Etc.? Any help is VERY much appreciated.

Trying to avoid being a Lady Bountiful

Jess the Mess — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 10:17:17 -0800

Is it condescending to give money and/or food to a homeless person when the haven't actually asked for it? So, as I was walking home this morning in the gray drizzle I noticed a man sitting under my el station, on a piece of cardboard with his dog, listening to a radio. I have never seen this guy before and there aren't all that many homeless people in my neighborhood.

I sort of smiled at the guy as I walked past, as I normally do to people with cute dogs, and he smiled back at me in a friendly way but made no attempt to engage me in conversation. He definitely wasn't leering at me or trying to get me to come over or anything.

I don't usually give money to homeless people who aren't Streetwise vendors but I'm a sucker for animals and in my mind anyone who's a friend of animals is a friend of mine (and it was clear his dog was well-taken care of). I know it would just be a band-aid solution (and yes I have volunteered at homeless shelters before) but I would like to help this guy and his dog out a bit. However, I don't want to be an insulting asshole since he didn't actually ask me for money.

Do you think I should attempt this or mind my own? For what it's worth, the area where he is is safe and well-lighted with plenty of people passing through, so on the off chance he turned out to be a psycho I think I'd be okay.

Homeless Amputees

shwynn2 — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 07:06:37 -0800

Why are there so many homeless amputees in my city? I live in a large southern city of more than a million people. I work downtown, and though I have lived in large southern cities my whole life, I am floored by how many amputees are around our downtown. I work very close to the city's largest homeless shelter, and on any given day I see at least 6-8 men who are missing one or both legs, some of whom I recognize, but there are always new people as well, some in wheelchairs, some on crutches.

At first I assumed they were veterans, but now I'm not so sure. They seem to range in age from 18-70 and are either caucasion or african-american. As for the younger guys, I know they could have served in many recent conflicts, but wouldn't the VA have given them prostheses? I've only seen a few men with prosthetic legs.

Is this all related to simple lack of healthcare? Small injuries leading to large infections and amputations? How are so many missing both legs then? Why is it all missing legs and almost no missing arms? It's really been boggling my mind.

How do I get a homeless person(s) to stop peeing in my front doorway?

tangelo — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 15:39:08 -0800

How do I get a homeless person(s) to stop peeing in my front doorway? My friend has a business. There's some person who, at some point during the night, pees in the building's doorway. This happens almost every night. My friend installed a bright light in the doorway that stays on all night, but that didn't stop the night urinator, so my friend installed a four-foot-tall metal gate across the front of the doorway AND added an attractive ficus tree/plant thing as well. And then the next day my friend went away on business and left me in charge. The following morning there was urine on the doorstep. Apparently the gate and ficus are no kind of deterrent whatsoever.

What can I do? Short of staying up all night, lying in wait? And supposing I did catch the person peeing in the doorway -- what would I say or do? (I'm a short, extremely non-threatening-looking woman.)

Good lord.

somersault — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 16:15:53 -0800

How do you maintain dignity and self-control while being dumped? Furthermore, where do you live? I realize there are a million questions floating about on Ask MetaFilter in regards to post-break up blues, heartache, et cetera. I've skimmed through as many as possible but nothing seems to quite fit my situation and inquiries. I hope my questions, though cliche, are not redundant.

Previously, I posted this question in regards to my now defunct relationship. He broke up with me last night. Please feel free to insert my regret, stupidity, and humilty right here. Needless to say that I did not break up with him nor did I even mention that I had been seriously considering it. Firstly, this is because I am a coward and despite my "slumbering" displeasure, I would rather endure than face it. Secondly, this is due to the fact that although we were not together for a long period of time, we were living together. I moved in with him several months ago. The lack of my living options (due the fact that I'll be moving in the fall for grad school) were definitely a deterrent to breaking up with him. He covered most other expenses. I know. I'm an awful person.

Anyway, last night we got into another horrible, alcohol-fueled argument and he broke up with me. We have had similar arguments in the past month, one in which resulted in me packing some of my stuff and threatening to leave. In the light of day, the issues we argued about were petty and absurd. However, the smallness of such arguments obviously did not negate the blow outs that took place. I feel that I am mostly at fault for these arguments. Had he not cared about me as much as he did, I think things would have ended a lot sooner.

Long story short, he told me to pack my things and get out. After some negotiating (on my end), he slept on the couch and I slept in the bedroom. He said some things about the possibility of working things out the next day. In the morning, he woke up early and took a walk. I began packing some of my belongings. When he came back, he did not say a word to me and got ready for work. Despite the glaringly obvious "get-the-hell-out-we-are-over" evidence, I felt at a loss. I asked him if we could talk and he shortly retorted that he did not want me to be there when he got back from work and then left. I promptly left as well, carrying my purse and a small shoulder bag.

Aside from the emotional upheaval of the situation, I feel completely fucked in other practical issues. I have nowhere to go and limited funding. It is impossible that I could put both a down deposit and one month's rent as of right now. I could possibly scrounge up enough money within the next two weeks, but that is two weeks from now. As far as family and friends are concerned, I feel they are out of the question. Has anyone here slept in their car for an extended period of time? Have you ever been in a situation where you do not have anywhere to live for the next two weeks to one month due to a break up? If so, what did you do? How does one go about applying for a second job (to earn more cash) without a mailing address?

Also, several days before our unexpected break up, he gave me an expensive birthday present. Would it be wrong of me to either return it to the store or pawn it in hopes of making ends meet now? Or do you think I should give it back to him?

Furthermore, I am supposed to pick up the rest of my belongings (some of which I need right now in order to job hunt) on Sunday. How do I deal with this difficult situation? I am very angry, sad, and hurt. I wish we could work things out and part of me believes we could. Then again, I might be the delusional ex. Regardless of what is plausible and what is not, I know I should not act rashly. I know I need to be objective, which is difficult for me right now. I also know I need to avoid being the crazy, needy ex begging for reconciliation. I feel that would just frustrate the situation. Is there any hope for reconciliation? If so, what can I do? If not, what can I do to make things easier? As stated previously, there are some things that I left (in my haste) that I need to assist me in finding a job or a living space. Would it be inappropriate of me to contact him tonight and ask him if I could stop over?

Sorry for the lack of brevity. Thanks in advance.

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

elr — Fri, 18 May 2007 09:21:50 -0800

Should I leave the city I've spent my whole life in when it seems like things are starting to go my way? [apologies in advance. more information than is probably necessary/confused word vomit follows] I'm 24. In my whole life I haven't spent more than three consecutive weeks outside of Chicago. I love this city with all my heart and soul, but I feel like I should see more of what's out there. It seems stupid not to.

I don't know if I should move or just travel. I don't really have any responsibilities right now. I'm not on the lease at my apartment and all of my income comes from temp jobs and gigs. I'm in love, but she's thinking about leaving soon too. I don't want to be one of those idiots who leaves town because of a girl only to have everything fall apart, of course if nothing falls apart, then I guess I won't be an idiot.

If I'm just traveling, and not moving altogether, I don't have a lot of money, and will probably be running the squatter/punk house/friends'-and-family's-couches route across the country. I could see this as a good thing, I'm kind of sick of being tied to all this stuff. I'm kind of sick of trying to live this lower-middle class-with-an-upper-middle class-safety-net artschool brat life that I understand on what is usually a poverty level income.

The problem: All of my art school fantasies are coming true little by little. I'm starting to get published in the free papers and the Chicago websites and making some inroads on the real papers. I'm getting paid good money just to DJ, and people are starting to come to me about doing shows and collaborations and such without me asking them first. I've got a lot of good friends, and a lifetime's worth of connections built up. I'm creating things and getting things off the ground and a part of some things that I think are truly special. I don't know if any of this will carry over to a new place, or if stopping the momentum would be a terrible idea.

Besides, for all my life's worth of good people, fun places and secret routes to get from here to there, I've also built up a lifetime's worth of people's perceptions about who or what I am and how I act, a lifetime's worth of hate and cynicism about the city and the scenes within it. I feel like if I went to a new place, and really put my heart into it, I'd have that same wide-eyed Everything is awesome look I see on the people who show up here.

If I go... where should I go? Where's a place where I'll be able to peddle zines and DJ and make awesome weirdo friends and get a decent job if I need one and a good job if I want one?

How can I help the homeless?

palet — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 22:05:31 -0800

How can I help the homeless? I find myself interacting with homeless people every now and then, and would like to be of some help when I do so---perhaps let them know about shelters, job programs, drug recovery programs, etc.

I realize helping the homeless (or helping people in general...) is a rather tricky issue. I think respecting the dignity of people is very important, and I would hate to send somebody to some careless organization that would do more harm than good. I live in Atlanta, and did some search for homeless shelters here. I'd like to know a few "good" ones, but it is hard to tell from the websites. Do you know about any good (nationwide or Atlanta-based) organizations?

Sometimes I do things like getting one guy some coffee in a cold morning, giving another some extra food I have, etc. (I try to avoid giving money). Do you you have any (positive/negative) comments about such things? Any other suggestions?

If you have worked with the homeless, or have read or thought about these issues, any philosophical/practical thoughts/advice, or pointers to good reading material would be greatly appreciated.

Quick, Easy and Free Emergency Shelters

dropkick — Sun, 08 Oct 2006 05:47:18 -0800

I need ideas on emergency shelters, for the homeless in urban environments, as well as for out in the boondocks. Must be inexpensive or free and easy to set up. Please blow my mind.

Where did it all go wrong?

ChazB — Fri, 21 Jul 2006 06:32:46 -0800

Are there any confirmed and documented cases of famous people that have lost everything for one reason or another and ended up broke, alone, and homeless? Guns 'n' Roses' Sweet Child o' Mine just played on the radio here at work and it got some of us talking about how great they were. I make a joke about how poor, crazy Axl Rose was going to end up either dead in a hotel room full of hookers and blow, or broke and homeless wandering the streets of LA singing for spare change. It made me wonder if anything like this has ever happened before.

Is it a sausage party on the cold streets?

Brainy — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 10:09:42 -0800

Why do you see more male homeless than female homeless? A friend of mine pondered this aloud to me, and not having an immediate response, I thought I'd offer it to the hive: Why is the ratio of male to female homeless so high? Is it? Or is that just the way it seems? If it just seems that way, why?

I thought that maybe females tend to cluster together so as to protect each other while men tend to stay away from each other but that seemed overly simplistic. Are there environmental factors (women have children and are more willing to go on state support, men have pride and won't?), biological (mental illness is more common in men?), sociological (landlords evict men with less thought than women)...I'm just throwing up absurd guesses here.

I don't want to think too much about it because I could probably find a satisfactory (and possibly false) answer, but I'd like to hear all of your thoughts on the matter.

Please help me stop the homeless person(s) from crapping on my stoop and rummaging through my trash.

paulrockNJ — Tue, 06 Jun 2006 15:38:23 -0800

Please help me stop the homeless person(s) from crapping on my stoop and rummaging through my trash. The brownstone I live in in Brooklyn has a stoop, and on the side of the stoop is a small alley about 10 feet deep where we keep our garbage cans. We have, on multiple occasions, found human feces in the alley. I'm assuming this person prefers pooping on my stoop (next to my stoop technically) because it's a little dark (although it is light enough to be seen back there at night from the sidewalk) and they can take cover behind the garbage cans. (unfortunately there is no place else to keep my garbage cans)

On a probably related note, we've also found lately that someone has been rooting through our garbage cans in the alley and making a HUGE mess of things. Garbage that was neatly bagged and placed in the cans winds up strewn about, all over the alley. It's bad enough to have someone using my property as their bathroom, but now I have to clean up after them too?

How do I keep these people from messing up my alley? I thought about calling the cops, but I really can't imagine what they could offer me. Presumably, cops in Brooklyn have more important things to do than staking out my brownstone waiting for someone to poop on it.

The other option I've toyed with is getting one of those sprinklers that work on a motion sensor -- the ones people use to keep deer out of their gardens. But that just seems mean, if a little fun. It's also probably not wise to provoke these people.

Any thoughts at all would be very much appreciated.

Murder suspects outed on web

Mid — Mon, 16 Jan 2006 14:52:22 -0800

So the Florida kids who beat up three homeless men (killing one of them) were apparently outed to the police on a website discussion forum about street racing. Anyone know (or able to google) the site? I'm always interested when real-live criminal suspects have some connection to an on-line community. It would be interesting (maybe even worthy of the Blue) to see the web discussion forum that led to murder charges. I'm sorry I don't know how to make a link in AskMe (without the buttons), but you can read about the website outing here: http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/nation/sfl-chomeless16jan16,0,7763510.story?coll=ny-leadnationalnews-headlines

I haven't been able to find anything on google using combinations of the suspects' names and "racing," "Florida," "tuner," etc.

What's a good SF charity that helps the homeless?

Nelson — Mon, 19 Dec 2005 11:30:01 -0800

What are the effective non-religious charities that help homeless people in San Francisco? It's my time of year to make charitable donations and I'd like to give some money to a local organization that's helping homeless people. I would prefer to give to a group that actively works to get homeless folks on their feet with counselling and support services that changes their lives for the better. The Delancey Street Foundation is one group whose results I admire. But they seem part of a larger foundation and I'm motivated by smaller and more local groups. What are some other effective charities?

Hanging Out Shirts In The Dirty Breeze

fandango_matt — Tue, 13 Sep 2005 19:52:44 -0800

NIMBYFilter: The area behind my building faces an industrial and unincorporated area of the town, and homeless folks have begun to move in across the way. They use my hose to refill their water bottles and they go through my dumpster--I was willing to leave them alone since they've (mostly) respected my requests to close the gate and turn off the water, but the area is beginning to look like a trash dump and smell like a toilet and now I'd prefer they move elsewhere. I suspect mine is a typical pattern--homeless folks move into an area and are ignored/tolerated until the trash and filth become a nuisance, at which point they're asked or forced to leave, and the cycle begins anew.

Is there a polite way of asking them to leave, or should I simply tell them in no uncertain terms they're not welcome to use my facilities and trash the neighborhood? Call and let the police handle them? Write a note asking them to please return the respect the neighborhood gives them? Give them maps to local shelters? I've been respectful, accepting, and tolerant, but my patience is at an end.

What's the deal with Phil Sanders?

Servo5678 — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 19:20:21 -0800

I've been watching the Night Court marathon on TV Land and found myself wondering about Phil Sanders, the homeless man who works as a lackey for Dan Fielding. Was it ever shown or explained just how Phil met and began working for Dan? Online episode guides offer no explanation that I can find, and after nearly twenty years I have to know for sure.

How do you handle witnessing small scale injustice when in public spaces?

verysleeping — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 10:24:04 -0800

On public transit last night, I watched a man tell off a panhandler with such vitriol I found it roundly disturbing. Yet, I did and said nothing. How do you all, and how should I in the future, handle these moments of small scale injustice? This panhandler on the el train was utterly berated by another passenger when he asked for some change. It was an ugly scene. The passenger went into a 5-10 minute rant, taking the panhandler to task using vulgar language, racial slurs, outright yelling and threating violence. The panhandler did not respond, but was visibly shaken and got off the train at his next opportunity. Everyone on the train, including myself, watched this unfold, saying nothing. As you might imagine I felt pretty icky afterwards, with a strong sense that I had shirked a moral obligation to intervene, to verbally defend the panhandler or at the very least comment (to the other passengers? to the Public? to the gods?) my distaste for the passenger's actions.

Mine is a somewhat extreme case but I feel like these moments, which are not so serious as to be deemed criminal but not so trivial as say overhearing an off-color joke, are fairly common. I'm wondering what to do when they arise again in the future.

Homeless or incarcerated?

robbie01 — Thu, 17 Mar 2005 22:27:33 -0800

I live in a city with a fairly high homeless population, and sometimes I wonder why the *really* destitute people (those seemingly beyond any help) don't just commit a crime bad enough that they would get put in jail for several years, where they would at least receive 3 meals a day, regular lodging, medical attention and the chance to learn some sort of skill or get a GED or something. I imagine a great majority of the homeless have a drug and/or alcohol addiction that they realize couldn't continue in prison, but is that the driving factor? If you were beyond hope and had to choose to either be homeless or incarcerated for the better part of your life, which would you choose?

Question number 14893

nobody — Tue, 08 Feb 2005 08:18:59 -0800

I'm sure I'm mangling the pronunciation, and I'm sure I misheard a few syllables, but last night while waiting for a bus in Brooklyn, a man came up to me and more than once said something that sounded like "Sheh-deh-mah-shen-see." Does it mean anything?
Some clues: He was polish, also spoke -- in english -- about having just gotten out of a hospital, about how he was crazy, about how his wife was in poland, not america, about how he hadn't eaten, about how he was crazy, about "oh my god" (x3). I gave him some food and a cigarette: he walked a few paces away, looked up at the windows of a second-floor gym, laughed, and did a little dance that mimicked the man on the treadmill. Oh, and he kept apologizing: "I'm so sorry. I so crazy. Oh my God." (x3). Any ideas? I hope to see him again, and I hope to be able to reply appropriately.

Question number 14519

josh — Fri, 28 Jan 2005 07:46:42 -0800

My girlfriend and I are opening a savings account where we can put away some money to give to a charity for the homeless. We live in Boston--what organizations should we be looking at around here?