How do you tell creepy jerks to bugger off NOW?

wonderwisdom — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 12:28:04 -0800

CreepyGuyFilter -- my lovely wife is getting harassed and hit on (mainly at the grocery store) by different creepy guys. It is making her *very* unhappy, freaked out, and feeling dirty. What is the best approach for her to deal with this in an assertive and satisfactory way? There is... Here is what just happened an hour ago -- she called me and told me about it:

Produce Aisle:
(After seeing this guy several times, creepily, around the grocery store, not *quite* following her, this is what happens:)

Wife: (looking at carrots, minding her business)
Creepy Old Guy: "I wonder if your husband would mind if I took *you* home with me."
Wife: "Uhhh, yeah, he would." (walks away quickly)

She is quite attractive, and dresses very modestly. She is shy, she does *not* smile/talk to strangers, especially men. (It took me months to even get her attention - lol) I love her very much for just this - her beauty, her modesty, and her stubborn streak. She just asked me "What do I say in response to these jerks at the grocery store? I want them to feel 3 inches tall!"

I (jokingly) said to go ahead and pepper spray them in the face, but that wouldn't be constructive. I don't want her to piss anybody off so she might be in danger, but this happens almost *every time* she goes to the store. It makes me very angry and worried for her. I am a dude with training in the deadly arts, but I'm at work when she goes to the store -- I feel powerless. She left the store today without all her produce because she was so freaked out. Help!

Appropriate response to unwanted gay advances.

AllesKlar — Sun, 16 Oct 2005 01:20:28 -0800

What is a respectful, succinct response to being hit on by someone who prefers your gender, when you "don't swing that way?" So I was at this dive ass (jive ass?) bar in the burbs that I frequent, as it is within walking distance. I'm saddled up the bar, enjoying myself, and this older gentleman, starts talking to me. Picture a shoebox with bar stools and crappy tv's strewn about the joint. Somehow he initiated the situation, and I was there alone, so I shot the shit. I like to think I'm not bad looking per se, I'm a blond hair blue eyed d00d looking for a night cap, listening to my head phones drinking some beers. I suppose, as a caveat, when I used to bartend down in A-town, I was hit on rather regularly... None the less, I not only prefer women, but insist! I'm not uncomfortable with the scenario, but resisting the comments only invited more biting comments. It must be a common theme among men, as it's a tactic I've used with women, not biting, but being "playful." I realize what's fair is fair, but this guy didn't get the idea... "I can see why you wouldn't have many friends around here.... are you sure your not a woman? ... you're very complicated, are you sure, blah blah." I'm a very respectful, polite person, and I could care less about his "business."

So. Is there something I can say that would not be offensive, but drive the point home enough, that I'm clearly not gay, and a litany of questions and comments is unappreciated? Code word "I'm not teh ghey," I'm flattered, but if I wasn't gay 2 minutes ago, surely I won't be 5 minutes from now. All perspectives (shy of ignorant, snarky ones) are appreciated. I tried searching google, forgive me if this answered already, delete away, if necessary.

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How do you tell creepy jerks to bugger off NOW?

Appropriate response to unwanted gay advances.