Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with health and weight

Weight Question

dmbfan93 — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:53:28 -0800

When is the best time of day to weight yourself for the most accurate read? Why do I always weight several pounds more in the evening than in the morning? Also, what impacts the scale the most from day to day? What you eat/drink? Is it possible to gain three pounds overnight? I realize my scale may be faulty, but I get the same kinds of readings from the scale at the gym.

Where can I get 2,4-DNP in Denver or by mail order?

CodeMonkey — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 07:26:51 -0800

Looking to buy 2,4-Dinitrophenol in Denver or good mail order company. Can't seem to find one that I recognize on the Internet and I don't trust just anyone. Any suggestions?

How do you know when you are at a healthy weight?

seppyk — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 11:19:00 -0800

How do you know when you are at a healthy weight? I am a large-framed, 5'11" male that has been overweight for the majority of my adult-bodied life, starting when I was a teenager. At my peak, I weighed as high at 340 pounds reaching that point for a variety of reasons (anxiety, apathy, low self-esteem, genetics). At a certain point, I got fed up with the negative side-effects of being overweight and started dieting and exercise. After hundreds of miles of running and calorie restriction, I am currently at 224 pounds; approximately losing 1-3 pounds per week. I feel comfortable with what I have achieved and where I am headed towards.

I definitely have my Dad's gut along with a good amount of body fat that I would like to reduce. Based on the BMI as a generic, yet flawed benchmark, I think I would like to get down to approximately 170 pounds in order to tighten everything up, but I am unsure.

I have no perception as to what it means for me to be average weight or skinny, so I do not know when I should switch from a weight loss routine to a healthy weight maintenance routine. All I have to go by currently are numeric metrics (weight, body fat %, pant size, etc.) but I don't know how low is low enough for me.

For those who have been on a weight loss program of any type, how do you determine when you are finished with your regimen and what criteria did you use for that determination?

Has anyone ever truly lost weight and kept it off?

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:17:37 -0800

What kind of hope is there for the average person to lose weight and keep it off when someone like Oprah who has personal trainers and personal nutritionists and personal chefs and personal minders and more money than God can't manage to do it? I never used to be a heavy girl. I ate terribly, but I exercised at the gym every day, and I was slim and fit regardless. But then I moved, and I got older, and I put on close to 80 pounds in a decade. I have watched people all around me struggle to lose weight and then they put it all back on plus more. I can't even motivate myself to try because it looks like I'm just setting myself up for disappointment--I'd have to radically change how I eat (learning to cook, for a start, which is a whole other hurdle). I keep reading that none of it works anyway, and everyone has a "set point" or something, and only 5% of people manage to keep weight off after losing it.

Canned milkshakes are gross. I sat in on a Weight Watchers meeting once and I felt like I was in a cult. I'm at my wit's end.

Has anyone here managed to lose real weight and never gain it back?

Lose Weight Now, Ask Me How

mippy — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 08:53:30 -0800

How can I lose weight, not through dieting, but through acquiring good and non-punitive habits? There is a lot of diet advice out there - don't eat dairy, don't eat meat, don't eat bread, take up our new diet and spend £70 on supplements each month - and what I want is to know how to have a balanced diet that doesn't involve cutting out most foods I enjoy, cutting out whole food groups altogether, or feeling guilty because I have a square of milk chocolate rather than dark?

Relevant information:
- I work in an office, and at the moment cannot take on the financial commitment of gym membership. I occasionally swim but in practise this is once a month if that. I want to start walking the 20mins to and from the train station during the week rather than taking the bus to give me a bit of activity. I would very much need a sports bra for anything more intensive than this, plus my once-fractured metatarsal gives me gip occasionally. I recently learned to cycle but am not ready for the road yet.

- I've put on two stone this year, partly from a broken foot and partly from taking sodium valproate - if you're unfamiliar with this, the side effects cause weight gain and seem to increase my appetite. Therefore any diet too restrictive (ie. to get rid of the extra weight) would be torture! I am quite tall so can carry extra weight without it having a huge impact on my health, but I don't *feel* healthy and my self-image is pretty sucky.

- I've previously put on weight from taking Depo-Provera a few years back at the same rate, most of which just dropped 'naturally'. I've never embarked on a determined weight-loss program and tend to fluctuate a lot. More gain than lose on balance.

- I eat meat, although not very much. Not a big sweet snacker but I love houmous, cheese and toast (though don't buy as much cheese). I don't tend to spend a lot on my food and know I could up my veg intake. I tend to make my own lunches at home to bring into work, and have museli in the morning and maybe yogurt or a cookie as a sweet snack int he afternoon.

- We get a few chocolates from time to time at work. I also like pizza and fast food, but have this once a fortnight if that. I don't tend to buy ready meals and try and make healthy choices if I can.

Why Is Obesity Help Often Excluded By Health Insurers?

WCityMike — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 19:26:28 -0800

Why do medical insurers treat obesity different than other vices? Not a GYOB (I've got one); I literally don't understand the facts of the situation. What do I mean? A moment's thought yields thousands of examples every day where medical insurers cover medical treatment that helps people recover from the aftereffects of their own choices. Childbirth. Smoking. Heart attacks. Lacerations incurred while drunk. (And accidents caused by drunk driving.) Alcohol and/or drug rehabilitation programs. And so on. We make mistakes with our body every single day, and they incur a medical cost to our body's well-being. Most of those medical costs are alleviated by insurance.

But medical services available to help people recover from the aftereffects of obesity seem to be almost specifically excluded. Nutritionists? Nearly always excluded in every plan I've seen. Physiatrists or sports medicine for medically safe exercise? Ditto. Removal of large amounts of loose skin post weight-loss? Some people have navigated their way through appeal processes into coverage, but it's not covered without great effort and trial.

What puzzles me is that preventative and "repair" treatments has got to be more cost-conscious than paying for heart bypasses, etc., so it makes from the ultimate viewpoint that means the most to these companies, the Almighty Buck.

So what's up? Where am I making the mistake in thinking this through? The pattern seems to have boundaries that are clearly enough defined -- it seems highly, highly improbable to me that this wasn't a purposeful policy decision.

Long weigh to go

t0astie — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:44:27 -0800

Have you, or anyone you know personally, every lost more than 20kg in weight – and kept it off for five years or longer? And what was your / their key to long term maintenance of the new healthy weight? I'm just curious. I know a couple of people who've lost recently shed substantial amounts of weight (20kg-plus) They've done it, as far as I can see, through moderate, health eating and exercise.

Lots of people who lose weight *do* put it back on. But that's not what I'm interested in.

I really want to know about people who've shed the kilos, kept the weight off for a long period of time - and what it was you/they did (or didn't do!) over a period of years, rather than weeks or months.

Set Point Blues

freshwater_pr0n — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 19:22:41 -0800

I have been trying, off-and-on, to lose five to ten pounds, or at least decrease my bodyfat percentage, but I've had no luck. I'm not overweight, but I would like to get back to the body weight I had ten years ago. I'm a pretty active person - I row several times a week, take Pilates classes regularly and hike at least one hour every day. I tend to eat fairly healthily.

When I fall into a rut and neglect my exercise routine or eat lots of junk food for two weeks, my weight doesn't go up appreciably. But when I stick to a 1500-calorie per day diet plan for two weeks, my weight doesn't go down at all.

Is there any way that I can convince my body to quit holding on to it's favorite weight of 118 pounds for dear life without starving myself, and maintain that lower weight once I get there?

Gift guessing that involves height, weight, birth date, address?

acoutu — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 12:03:42 -0800

Gift guessing filter: help me think of what this could be. My friend, who happens to be my personal trainer, recently asked for confirmation of my height, weight, address and full birth date (but not birth time or day of week). She says it is for some sort of gift that will arrive in a few days. What on earth could it be? I'm baffled. It's not for my birthday. It's just some sort of surprise.

Thanks. (I'll come back to say what it was. And I promise that, given the range of possibilities, you're not ruining the surprise)

my metabolism is broken

Anonymous — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:22:11 -0800

How can I get my metabolism back up? Basic states: Female, 28, weigh about 160 lbs, height 5'3". For what it's worth, I also poop regularly - usually once or twice a day.

My metabolism is slow. It's been slow for a long time. Is there any way I can (healthily) rev it up?

A little over a year ago, I moved out of suburbia, sold my car, and moved to a new city. Since then, I've gone from a drive-3-blocks-to-the-grocery-store style, to what I call old-school active - I don't necessarily work out, nor do I own a gym membership. But I walk everywhere, carry stuff everywhere, utilize stairs much more often, and consider myself pretty active. On a lazy day, I walk about 2 miles (door to door, not including steps in a building). On an average day, about 5 miles.

Since I've moved, my diet is a bit healthier, but I've lost a whopping... about 2 pounds. I don't know if I've gained muscle, but it doesn't matter, because my clothes from suburbia fit about the same as they do know. I can't lose weight.

I eat about 1200-1600 calories a day. Mostly going something like this, with some variation:

Breakfast: One cup coffee with splenda and skim milk, plus a piece of fruit (apple or nectarine usually) OR a cup of cream of wheat (made with water, not milk)
Lunch: Half a chicken or veggie panini, with some snacking veggies (raw carrots, celery). Occasionally a chocolate chip cookie.
Early dinner: the other half of panini
Evening snack: a piece of fruit, or maybe a small bowl of cereal (cheerios, or wheaties with skim milk), sometimes with a tablespoon of organic granola added.

I don't drink soda. Occasionally drink juice. All water (and enough of it), except for the morning cup off coffee. I'll have a glass of red wine about twice a month.

What I want to know is this - it's been stated that if Americans adopted a healthier lifestyle, they'd be healthier, and less obese/overweight. I feel like I live this "lifestyle" - I walk everywhere, and I don't eat terribly. I refuse to believe that it's the occasional chocolate chip cookie that makes my metabolism so slow, and makes me unable to lose weight.

Other than my weight, I'm healthy - blood pressure, cholesterol, etc, are all fantastic. And maybe it's superficial, but I'm tired of being the chubby girl who is perpetually inclined to this body type.

I think in my teenage years, some crash dieting severely messed up my metabolism, and has been wonky since then. When I was 15, the same height I am now, and 125 lbs, I was convinced I was fat. I became a vegetarian for all the wrong reasons, thinking that meat made people fat. For most of one summer, I ate 300 calories a day. A small bowl of cereal with skim milk, and a small piece of fruit. That's all I ate day in and day out, and also exercised rigorously - upwards of 4-5 hours a day. I went down to about 100 lbs. Once classes resumed, I upped my caloric intake to 1000 - which for an active 15 year old, is still normally insufficient (these were all "good" calories, mind you). Within 4 months, I gained back all the weight I lost, and gained a few pounds extra. I know that it's because my body was recuperating from starvation mode, and holding onto this seemingly surplus of more than three times what I had been eating previously. I have never crash dieted since.

This was over a decade ago, but I think some of the damage I did during that year still affects how my body metabolizes food. I'm wondering if as an adult, there is anything I can do to change my metabolism to achieve a leaner body. Since my move over a year ago, I feel healthy, and thankfully have a clean bill of health every time I go to the doctor, so this is mostly a superficial thing.

Thank you for all thoughts.

Abs Diet vs. Hacker's Diet: what's the truth?

Zeker — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 17:36:22 -0800

Abs Diet vs. Hacker's Diet: what's the truth? I'm having a hard time figuring out how to lose weight because both claim to be "common sense" approaches (and they make sense upon reading), but they contradict greatly on large aspects. Also, a question about protein powders... Some contradictions through comparison:

HACKER'S DIET: (which Weight Watchers copied/is based from) claims that:

*The only real way to lose weight is to count calories, because what your body consumes = what your body expels. If it can't use all the food you eat, it's stored as fat, and to lose weight you have to eat less calories. (Explicitly states that starvation is NOT a bad thing, even necessary.)

*The weight is lost by having your body use the fat reserves as energy, and its triggered by starving yourself.

*What you eat doesn't really matter (although quality food is recommended) so long as you stick to using less calories than your body uses.

*Exercise is optional but recommended. LOTS OF SUCCESS STORIES.

ABS DIET: (by Men's Health)

*Starvation is BAD BAD BAD and should never be done. Claim is that if you starve, your body goes into some weird energy saving mode and will store fat like crazy in response to lack of food.

*Always feel full. Eat 6 meals a day to ensure you never starve.

*Calories don't mean anything. Quality over quantity.

*Exercise is a must, because without muscle there is no weight loss. LOTS OF SUCCESS STORIES.

So what's the truth? Why is losing weight so complicated?!

Also, I've been told everywhere that protein powders are a must. I forgot what kind I've bought before, but I've bought 2 different kinds and both left me looking like a bear after a few weeks. I didn't lose weight, I got much bulkier and not in a good way. Yes I exercised with weights, no I didn't take too much, just a table spoon with a milkshake a day. Was I doing anything wrong? Is it always necessary to take shakes?

Fun with a purpose?

Bardolph — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:22:51 -0800

I like the mood and health benefits of exercise, but hate the inherent pointlessness of the activity. Short of going into construction work, what are some activities or hobbies that involve physical exertion, but to some other purposeful end? I had this revelation a few weeks ago, while helping break down a stage for a local theatre: spent several hours lifting, carrying, writhing, running, and stretching, ended up completely exhausted, and loved every minute-- while in the gym, it's as much as I can do to make 20 minutes before my willpower collapses and I'm out the door. I think the key factor was having some immediate purpose to focus on besides just the exercise. If you're building/moving something, well, it's got to get built/moved, whereas in regular exercise the long-term health benefits quickly become insufficient justification for that next excruciating rep. Sadly, my brain has also proven too devious to for most artificial reward schemes-- if there's no point, I can bloody well see there's no point, sticker or no sticker. Plus, I like doing stuff, and would like to be able to do stuff while exercising, if possible.

Since I'm fresh out of friends needing apartment-moving assistance, what might be some other physical-exertion-intensive, yet constructive, activities to take up? For what it's worth, I'm a girl, and super-uncoordinated (can't throw a frisbee, can't catch a ball) so (1) extremely heavy lifting, and (2) any kind of sports are probably out of the question. Suggestions?

Please tell me what to eat!

Anonymous — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 09:24:51 -0800

I make bad food decisions. I would like someone to tell me exactly what to eat for every meal, every day. After a bad few years, I need to get myself back down to healthy weight but I fail at food. I know all the principles of a healthy diet in theory, but that knowledge does nothing to make me eat better, it just makes me feel guilty.

I am tired of thinking about food. I don't want to try to figure out what to eat, or feel bad about what I do eat, or keep making excuses for why eating a giant bowl of pasta and some chocolate chip cookies is probably not that bad, right?

I've tried a couple diet plans, but they are all so open-ended and full of choices that I find it really, really easy to justify even more bad food decisions.

Are there any people or books or websites or diet plans or anything that will tell me exactly what to eat and how much, in order to lose weight and be more healthy? I don't want 'cheat days' or my choice of dessert or a list of 100 'serves 4!' recipes for me to put together and modify myself. I don't mind spending money or cooking, but I don't like wasting food, so having to buy a head of lettuce or whatever for one meal, one day, and then throwing the rest away wouldn't be good. I'd like the meal plans to make sense in grocery-shopping, weekly-planning way. Does anything like this exist?

(And just to be clear, I'm looking for the type of healthy diet that includes whole foods and common sense, not any fad diets)

How do I get started using a treadmill?

zooropa — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 08:50:32 -0800

How do I get started using a treadmill? I just bought a treadmill from a co-worker. I am 33 years old, overweight by about 30 lbs., and type-2 diabetic. I know I need to get in shape for many reasons. Please no judgments about why it took so long.

Is there anywhere online with a good resource for beginners? Ideally, I'm looking for a resource online where I can keep a log or record of my progress.

But most importantly of all, I don't know where/how to begin. Almost everything I've seen so far is geared toward experienced runners. I'm nowhere even close to that. I would like to follow something like this:

* Day 1, walk 15 minutes at 3MPH
* Day 2, walk 15 minutes, jog 5 minutes
* Day 3, walk 10 minutes, jog 10 minutes

And so on and so forth.

So I'm really looking for two things:

1. A guide to getting started with a program that details what I need to do

2. An online tracker

How do I start a dialog with my wife about her weight?

Anonymous — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 22:01:28 -0800

How do I open a dialog with my wife about her weight gain? I need to find a way to constructively broach the topic of my wife's weight gain. I won't try to couch my concerns in anything but incredibly selfish terms. I don't want to have sex with her anymore because she's overweight and unattractive to me. She complains about her weight but does very little to change her eating habits or get more exercise and then complains that we're not intimate enough without ever seeming to put the two together.

The one time her weight came up in conversation and I hinted at something along the lines of "losing weight would be a good thing" she got extremely defensive and promised to show me just how much weight she could pack on. Which is self-defeating and would do nothing but push me further away.

I do love my wife and want to make this work but I am not willing to put my libido on the shelf permanently because she's unwilling to address the issue. I do not want to cheat on my wife but I have needs that aren't being met at home and there's only so many years I will be able to just put up with it.

How do I constructively tell/encourage my wife to get herself back into something more closely resembling a fitter and healthier lifestyle?

And yes, it goes beyond sex, I want to be able to go bicycling with her but she's so out of shape that I get frustrated having to wait and wait and wait and go incredibly slowly. And I also know that she'll be a happier person if she gets rid of the weight too. She just seems unwilling to actually accept responsibility for her weight gain which allows her to not do anything about it.

Please keep responses to constructive ways to address this issue. I have zero interest in being told I'm a shallow jerk because I can't see beyond her physical form to the woman inside her that I do love. I'm well aware that part of the problem here is me. But I live a fairly healthy lifestyle, eat well, get exercise, ride my bikes and workout not only because it makes me a healthier person but because a fit person is an attractive person (or so I believe).

And yes, I have read previous threads but found them to be not quite the information I am looking for.

Weight loss strategies

stenoboy — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 08:58:39 -0800

One hundred pounds overweight and 41. Will I ever get washboard abs again? OK, I've let myself go - badly. I used to be muscular, had washboard abs, 31-inch waist, and after ten years of depression and other difficult life stuff, I've put on 100 pounds and am basically a tub of wobbly lard.

And given that I'm getting no younger, I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to get fit and trim again. Every time I start a healthy eating and exercise program, I stay on it for about two months and then a holiday or a busy period at work sees the routine being broken and I just give up.

What I want to know is is it possible that I'll ever regain my athletic physique again or should I just accept I'll always be overweight? Has anyone ever lost 100 pounds and built muscle? If so, how did you keep doing it until the goal was reached? Does age play that much a part as all the health articles we read say they do?

I understand the hows are fairly simple: eat better food, fewer calories and get to the gym. Actually doing it is another thing. I don't want to eat mountains of tuna and chicken (as I used to), and getting to the gym on a regular basis seems much harder than it did 10-15 years ago.

In fact, with all things in life, if I'd just kept doing them I'd probably be hugely successful and probably much richer! I'd be able to speak Italian, have a few novels published, be a concert pianist etc etc (OK, a few dreams there perhaps!), but if I'd just been consistent in what I did, I wouldn't be in this state now.

So another question, I guess: how do you keep a project going, especially when it gets tough?

Is what I'm doing binge eating/drinking?

blackout — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 16:36:53 -0800

How do I know if what I'm doing is binge eating/drinking? More explanation after the jump. What is defined as binge eating/drinking.
Sometimes when I come home from work I'll order a large pizza and eat half of it and drink a bottle of wine in one sitting (by myself), I did this tonight. I don't do it all the times, nor do I have a crazy desire to do it. Sometimes I even only eat once a day, today I ate twice including the pizza.
What's too much? I don't sneak food, or anything like that.
I'm 22, just under six feet tall and wight 190 pounds. I'd say I'm about 10 pounds over weight for my body type (no clue what my BMI is, nor do I trust it).
I'm a helicopter flight instructor so my weight is a factor in my job. In high school I weighed 230 and when I started my helicopter flight training I lost 40 pounds, down to 180, via Atkins. I still try to follow the diet, when I can but my schedule kind of precludes following it all that well.
I just moved to Florida (the other side of the country form my family and friends) and I live alone. I don't cook for myself as much as I should. Not because I don't like it but because I get sick of eating the same thing over and over (eggs for breakfast, chicken and broccoli for dinner). So I order pizza or get fast food instead.
It's not like I have no will power or whatever you would call it to not eat my diet, it's mostly that when I get home from work it's easier to call in an order for pizza then to make some food.
Is this still binge eating, and I have a problem?
Is the whole bottle of wine (sometimes four Henneikens when I'm really off my diet) a night binge drinking?
Do I have a problem?

Too heavy for Couch to 5k?

aebaxter — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 17:35:15 -0800

I just had a doctor tell me I'm too heavy to run the Couch to 5k program. Is this really true? I'm 25/F, 5'6, 240 lbs with a sedentary job and no exercise routine to speak of for the past 6 years. About 3 weeks ago, I decided I was fed up and I started the Couch to 5k program at home on a treadmill. I made it through week 3 feeling great, still motivated and really enjoying the challenge. I was also doing lighter walk/runs and weights on the in between days of the program.

In order to work out with a friend, I started running outside at the track. Within 2 workouts running outdoors, I started having crippling pain in my knees. Worried I'd injured myself, I went to an osteopathic doctor. She told me that I was "100 lbs too heavy to be running" and that it was an unacceptable form of exercise for me. She said that "all the extra weight had pounded my knees into a severe sprain." She told me to stop eating too much (without even asking about my diet habits, but oh well) and to stop exercising period until my knees healed, and then to only do low-impact exercise.

I agree that my knees are injured (obviously, the pain tells me that), but is it really that I'm just too heavy to run? Have others been successful doing the Couch to 5k program beginning at a similar weight? Is my being overweight truly the problem, or did I just overdo it by exercising with a bit too much zeal on the off days instead of resting as is recommended with the Couch to 5k program?

Finding a weight loss community that doesn't drive me batty...

catfood — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 11:24:18 -0800

I'd like some help finding a new weight loss community to join - one with a relatively intelligent / fun user base but that takes healthy weight loss seriously. Any suggestions? I was a long time member of a forum that focused on one specific diet plan (WW) and that specific diet plan only. I really loved the group, but because I am trying something different right now (calorie counting + no-s) I need to find a new "home base" for chatting about diet stuff.

As you can see from some of my old posts, I am working very hard to lose a large amount of weight. I can use all the support I can get, but I find myself completely turned off by most of the popular weight loss forums. They seem overpopulated with members with names like "kayleezmommie", "jeremysgurl" and "findingmyWEIGHtojesus". Basically, people who are more focused on issues other than weight loss, and who just pat each other on the back and whine together about how hard things are without looking for solutions.

I just want to find some like minded people who take weight loss seriously, who can appreciate emotional weight-related issues but who also believe that there is a way to plan for most problems and succeed nonetheless. And people who don't identify themselves solely by their mommy-status or their wife-status or their religious-status.

I saw WCityMike's question about an e-mail list, but that's not really what I'm looking for. I'd like a plain ol' message board for check-ins and stuff.

Also, I have checked out Spark People - it's a great site but the community is way too scattered and all over the place. I'd really like a place where I can join a more close-knit group.

Don't Want a Career as a Competitive Eater

SansPoint — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 07:07:08 -0800

How can I learn to slow down and enjoy what I'm eating? I eat too fast. I know I eat too fast. When I'm given food, especially food that I like and tastes good, I'll wolf it down real quick, but I can't be sure as to why. I'd love to be able to slow down, to not be the first person to finish at the table, to enjoy to the fullest what has been presented to me. Furthermore, I'm trying to lose weight, and I know that eating slower helps you fill up faster.

So, what can I do? Anyone else who has this problem?

Desperate to set up an effective weight loss strategy

catfood — Tue, 29 May 2007 12:18:47 -0800

I badly need some help / advice on getting my weight under control. I get mixed messages everywhere I turn, but I feel like I don't have time to play around anymore. I'm completely desperate to get myself to do something and stick with it so I can at least get from "obese" to "overweight" if not to "normal". I'm 27 years old, female, and over 100 lbs overweight. This morning at my doctor's for my yearly physical, she pointed out how I have gained 60 lbs in the past two years, and asked me if I had considered a diet or exercise program. Of course I have, in fact I would dare say I have spent 50% of those two years on Weight Watchers or doing some light aerobics videos at home. It's just that the other 50% of the time I get stressed out, frustrated, distracted, and lose my way, and it takes forever to get myself back on track. I tried to explain this to my dr, and she basically said that she knew it was hard, but really the only thing was diet & exercise, and if I made a serious effort for the next 6 months and still didn't lose, she would prescribe me Xenical (which I think sounds really unappealing).

I have struggled with my weight since puberty, but I never really packed on the pounds the way I did since college & after college. I know that part of this is the sedentary lifestyle of being an office worker. I also know that part of this has been my battle with depression (which often makes me feel lethargic and apathetic), and probably not helped my my antidepressant (Paroxetine) and birth control pills. Or the fact that when I fall into a depressed funk, I stop caring about my weight and thus have no reluctance to drown my sorrows in food.

After this morning, and realizing that if I keep gaining an average of 30 lbs per year, I'm going to be in trouble, I do think I am ready to pick myself up and try again. But I'm overwhelmed with different options and approaches. I don't know if going back to WW is worth it since I have failed so many times. Online communities and meetings are starting to get under my skin because it feels like it's all one big pity party for people who can't stick to a goddamn thing. That's not motivating, that's just depressing and only fuels my apathy.

Here are options I have been thinking about:
- Doing the No-S diet with some modifications (e.g. giving myself some requirements to make sure I eat enough fruit & veg)
- Skipping WW and instead doing some basic calorie counting with help from Spark People or FitDay or something.
- Adding the OTC drug Alli to whatever diet plan I choose.
- Joining the YMCA when I move to my new neighborhood and signing up for some classes.
- Buying a bike so I can ride with my husband during the summer.
- Giving South Beach another try even though I don't really like meat that much.
- Going back to WW. But WW just reminds me of failure at this point.
- Maybe buying a few sessions with a personal trainer.
- Joining some kind of online thing like Ediets or something. (Yes I have done WW online, same shit different format).
- Researching lap-band surgery. Not even sure I'd be allowed since I'm on antidepressants.

I've done the whole "just try to eat healthier and watch portions" thing without stricter guidelines ... and gained like 20 pounds in 2 months while doing it. I try to only eat when hungry, but when I'm constantly asking myself if I'm hungry, I always feel hungry.

I know it's not going to be easy, I know that no one can do it for me, but I need some advice or suggestions that aren't solely from the WW groupies I know.

My wife and I don't have sex. And it's my fault. I'm looking for answers.

Anonymous — Wed, 16 May 2007 14:06:50 -0800

What is the problem? Why can't I have sex? This post is probably a long time coming. Forgive me in advance for the long post, but this is difficult for me to talk about.

For the purposes of ID'ing me, you can call me A. I've posted this anonymously, but have setup an anonymous email account at mistera75@gmail.com if you need to reach me privately.

BACKGROUND
My wife and I met in early 2003 and were married in late 2005. I'm 32 and she's 28. We are very happily married and while we wouldn't go so far to call ourselves "the perfect couple", we have talked about how we just fit together in almost all aspects of our relationship.

The one aspect that we don't fit, however, is sex. Before we got married, we used to have sex almost every weekend (we only saw each other on weekends because we lived in different cities). Even after we moved in together, we had sex fairly often. But since we're married, we have sex once every few months.

Please don't think that "the thrill of the chase is gone." I really don't think that's the case at all. Also, it's not that I'm not attracted to my wife. Far from it. I think she is very sexy. Physically, we're both larger people (overweight), but that truly doesn't matter to me. I find her physically and mentally attractive in all respects.

But I'm not blind. I know intuitively that the lack of sex bothers my wife. But we don't talk about it. I have a difficult time talking about sex, and the few times we've tried to do so, it's been frustrating because of my sheer mental block about it. I think she's given up on talking about it, and honestly, it's relieving to me to not talk about it. I know that's not helpful, but I can't help but feeling that way.

OTHER ISSUES
Other issues that factor in here include:

* I just don't get as tired as she does. My wife goes to bed by 9.30 because she tired earlier in the evening, and since I'm not all that tired, I usually don't go to bed until 1 or 2.

* I'm overweight and diabetic, which I know don't help. I'm pretty sure that one of the side effects of my daily meds for diabetes is that it reduces sex drive.

* There are performance issues here, too. I don't stay hard all for any length of time. When I do manage to stay hard, it takes me a long time to climax. Even though she is very sweet about it and tells me that it doesn't take as long as I think it does, I can't help but feel that it shouldn't take as long as it does. I feel guilty about it, which of course doesn't help me relax and just let it happen.

* Before we got married, she once told me, "I'm a very sexual person." I feel guilty over the fact that I've probably deadened her sex drive.

* I work for a marketing start-up where the hours are killer and the stress is up. I know that doesn't help, either, but that situation is not going to change overnight. That's part of why I'm not so tired in the evenings. I come home at 7.30/8.00, we have dinner, and then relax together for a short while. Then before you know it, she's ready for bed and I'm still winding down from the stresses and emotions of the day.

*sigh* *deep breath*

WHAT DO I DO NOW?
I really don't blame my wife for this at all. The responsibility really is mine here. Even if we talked about it, the issues here really are mine to deal with. But I don't know why or what to do about it.

* Is it all in my head? Do I go see a psychiatrist? A sex therapist? I wouldn't even know where to begin. Plus, let's be honest. "Talking" anonymously to AskMeFi is a helluva lot easier than talking about it with a shrink or my wife.

* Am I masturbating too much? Even though we don't have sex, I *am* able to masturbate. I feel guilty about it, but I do masturbate to Internet porn usually twice a week.

* Is it sexual health-related? Should I get a prescription for Viagara or Cialis or something like that? I'm not opposed to it, but I'm afraid of any negative side effects, especially related to my diabetes.

* Is it health related? I know that I could always lose weight, but I need to do that in general, anyway. I'm *very* hesitant to blame this on my diabetes meds, because I need them to stay in balance with my sugars (I'm type 2, BTW).

*Sigh* *deep breath*

I'm genuinely curious for advice and counsel here. But please don't advise the simple -- "Just take her to bed" or "Just go have sex" or "Lose some weight." It's not like I haven't thought of any of that before, and believe it or not, it's just not that simple.

I really don't know what to do. I want to be more sexual with my wife, but I just don't know how to start. I am so tired of feeling guilty, ugly, and sexually "broken."

Help. Please.

p.s. I've posted this anonymously, but have setup an anonymous email account at mistera75@gmail.com if you need to reach me privately.

Why, this isn't an input/output problem at all

schroedinger — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 06:01:57 -0800

Why aren't I losing weight? I'm doing everything right (aren't I?). Extensive explanation of weight-loss methods inside, so this is a doozy. So I embarked on a weight-loss program about three weeks ago. I'm 5'6', 162 (now), 26% body fat. I'm pretty healthy, but I'd like to trim 10 or 12 pounds to take the weight off my shins, improve my biking, and help me tame the elusive pull-up. Here's my program:

Weight:
Taken every morning as prescribed by the Hacker's Diet, entered into PhysicsDiet.

Workout:
I work out about an hour and a half a day, six days a week.
Couch-to-5K: 3 days a week, ~20 minutes
Interval training: 3 days a week, ~25 minutes (~15 minutes of warm-up followed by 10 minutes intervals)
Intense bodyweight exercise: 5 days a week, ~60 minutes or more
Capoeira: 1 day a week, ~90 minutes (plus whatever practice I work in)

Diet:
Tracked nigh-obsessively with Fitday and entered into PhysicsDiet. According to these journals, my average intake is 1500-1600 calories per day, while I burn an average of 2600 calories per day. I eat six small meals, aiming to finish before six or seven at night unless I have a late-night workout in which case I eat a little protein and complex carbohydrates afterwards. I aim to eat at least 100 grams of protein a day to preserve muscle mass while I'm cutting the fat. I drink water (though probably not as much as I should).

So, the nutrition experts predict I should have lost about six pounds by now. What do I get? Two pounds, probably less than that since some of it is water weight lost during the Red Tide. I mean, sure, I feel great, and I'm getting stronger, but I highly doubt I'm gaining muscle mass quickly enough to compensate for the amount of fat I should be losing. It's not like my clothes are fitting any looser.

Now, I could simply enjoy the working out and getting stronger, and I've definitely done that in the past. But this time I really would like to cut down some of the body fat. So what's up, Metafilter?

Ah yes. I'm on Ortho-TriCyclin Lo. It hasn't made me gain weight, but could it be preventing me from losing it? C'mon, it's can't be the birth control, right? That would be lame.

Daily Weight Watchers Points after Weightloss

jwiener — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 19:53:47 -0800

How many weight watchers points should I eat daily to maintain my weight, not loose any more? I've done weight watchers for quite some time and have lost 50 lbs. I did it without attending meetings or being a member, so I don't have a lot of information about it aside from the formula. I have a table for how many points each weight range should eat in a day in order to loose weight, but I'm wondering if there is such a table for maintaining weight. For instance, right now I'm eating 24 points a day (I weigh 200 lbs). How many should I eat to keep myself at 200? My wife and I are both doing it, so if anyone has the whole table, it would be greatly appreciated.

No-nonsense, serious weight loss community via mailing list?

WCityMike — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 11:24:22 -0800

I am looking for an e-mail mailing list in which weight loss is discussed. However, I'm looking for one with a very specific sort of attitude. Essentially, I'm looking for a weight loss mailing list that approaches weight loss with a certain attitude — practical, logistical, calmly, assertively, tough, without as much of the focus on extraneous emotional baggage. I understand that emotional baggage can be part of weight loss. I'm not saying that it has to be entirely absent of emotional revelations, but this theoretical online community is not the place to expose and wallow in one's angst and drama, and ideally the theoretical list participants would kinda be thinking "get a grip!" if someone did so.

Reason behind this is that it seems the majority of the online weight loss communities that I've found out there are very focused on the emotional reactions to weight loss, and I think it's not assisted me in my own endeavors. When I was writing down a note to myself to remember this question, I wrote down, "A mailing list for serious people getting down to the deadly business of concerted effort towards losing weight." That's more than a little melodramatic, but hopefully it gets the point across.

Preferably food plan-neutral (i.e. not Atkins-specific or South Beach-specific), or at least accommodating of other plans.

A few ideas to kind of convey what I'm looking for: I'm looking for a mailing list whose attitude towards weight loss is similar to the attitude that productivity pundits have towards weight loss (43 Folders, Lifehacker). Bootcamp Buddies has a philosophy statement that's fairly close to what I'm looking for — but the problem with Bootcamp Buddies is that I am strictly looking for a e-mail mailing list. I am NOT looking for an online message board forum. They just don't work for me as a method of online communication.

The above is the primary question I'm seeking an answer to. However, as a corollary to it, if anyone is aware of websites that have the same relationship and approach to weight loss as 43 Folders and Lifehacker has to productivity — "Weighthacker"? — I'd appreciate linkage.

Thanks in advance for any assistance offered!