Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with health and depression

How do I get SSI/disability for mental health?

loquacious — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:32:34 -0800

How do I navigate Social Security to qualify for Medicaid, SSI and disability for mental health services? How do I find an advocate to guide me through the walls of paperwork and decisions? Sub-question: what are current mental health institutions like for in-patient treatment? I qualify for an array of symptoms for mental health disability - namely marked social dysfunction, severe anxiety, depression (most likely rapid cycling bipolar), persistent ideations and the inability to function normally and keep a job, set or keep goals or otherwise function at life. I have trouble maintaining all kinds of relationships. I also have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and tobacco as self-medication.

In case it needs to be said - I also qualify financially. I have no job, no money, no property and as much as I hate to admit it I'm basically indignant and losing my housing.

I'm having a hell of a time finding services, doing my homework and wrestling with the bureaucracy while in the midst of these symptoms. How do I find an advocate, case worker or guide? This process is daunting enough without struggling with the symptoms at the same time, and dealing with the bureaucracy is aggravating the symptoms and often sending me spiking off into severe manic or depressive territories.

Also what can I expect these days if I sign myself in for in-patient treatment at a mental health facility in Los Angeles? I'm considering this as an option to get the process kick-started, as I'm more or less on the edge of crisis territory. What's the process like? What can I bring with me? What can't I bring? How much control can I expect to have over the process?

(Paging The Straigtener)

Insert worried question about U.S. health insurance here.

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:54:34 -0800

Best U.S. insurance company for a pre-existing condition (depression) - advice please! Yet another question about U.S. health insurance. I'd like to have some basic health insurance that's not tied to an employer - I'm unemployed and don't know when I'll find work. The catch is that I have a pre-existing condition (well, two - chronic unipolar depression, and ADHD, both of which I've had since my teens). It means for me (at least) that I go through periods of unemployment, including right now. My coverage (under my ex-husband's plan) is about to end, and I'm panicking. AskMe has been invaluable about the topic, but I'd love some actual 'I have x company, and they're good/bad/good enough' testimonials. I've seen Tonik mentioned a few times on here and will be looking into them, although they don't cover mental health.

I'm primarily looking for basic physical health coverage (i.e. catastrophic, so that if I get hit by a truck I have *some* kind of coverage). While I'd love to have a plan to include mental health, I know that's going to be hard to find. I'm worried about even finding any basic physical coverage considering the pre-existing condition thing. I'm on medication (Zoloft and Adderall - prescribed through a psychiatrist covered by ex-husband's coverage) and am otherwise healthy (a few minor surgeries as a kid) in my mid-30's. The past year has been hell (for a number of reasons - let's start with divorce, death of a parent and losing my job), but hopefully qualifying for insurance won't be...impossible (she says, crossing her fingers hopefully).

I'm in California, a permanent resident (if it helps) and am willing to look around for community therapists etc. and already go to the local NAMI affilated support group, do the 'exercise, eat right' etc. etc. thing and have a therapist I'm willing to pay out of pocket for - and maybe get the meds via Walmart etc., if I have to. What I want is the basic coverage, since waiting for the folks in Washington to decide on health insurance is NOT an option. Basically, is there a way to have the physical insurance and mental health insurance be separate? When do I have to tell them about my mental health history?

Has anyone had any experience trying to get group insurance via things like the Freelancer's Union or AIGA? I'm a designer, and I'm open to suggestions. What about going through an individual insurance broker - any good experiences? Any advice is appreciated. I'm going through all the info I can find (on AskMe and elsewhere) and really appreciate any help, as my head is spinning and I'm worried to death.

St. John's wort + ADHD medications?

Anonymous — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 18:36:45 -0800

What are your experiences with St. John's wort? In particular, have you ever taken it at the same time as ADHD medications like Ritalin/Focalin (methylphenidate), Adderall (amphetamine) etc? Some sources seem to warn against taking then together, some say only that one will might decrease the effectiveness of the other, and many don't say anything at all, so I'd like to know if there's anything to worry about. Even if you have never taken the two together, I'd still be curious to hear what you thought of St. John's wort in general.

Throwaway email: sjwquestion@yahoo.com

(Please don't tell me to ask a doctor; I'm asking because the doctors that wrote all the information I've read seem to disagree.)

How to become more confident in my life?

Anonymous — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:49:09 -0800

I've lacked confidence in every aspect of my life, and it's holding me back. What can I do? Since I was a young boy, I've felt like I wasn't good enough to be successful. I never felt like I was as athletic or smart as others. In college and grad school, this sense of being a fraud and not smart or talented enough carried over.

This feeling has pervaded my entire life. I didn't apply for internships and scholarships in college. I didn't apply for jobs or scholarships in grad school. In these instances, I felt like there was no point in applying because I wouldn't get them. There would also be times when I would be paralyzed by fear of applying and being rejected, and would go sleep or watch TV.

Now, I'm in a dead end job, and am too unconfident to try and get another job. I look at jobs and my mind instantly goes to reasons why I won't be qualified for the job. Other times, I'm very fearful of being rejected. This is severely hampering my ability to advance my career.

This lack of confidence has also extended into my romantic life. I never approach women because I assume they'll say no because I'm too fat or ugly. As a result, I didn't have my first girlfriend until 25, and have only had 2 serious relationships in my 30 years. My lack of confidence has me worried that I will never find anyone or die alone.

I've been in therapy for a couple of years, and have been tangentially discussing these issues. I just recently realized through talking with my therapist that this lack of confidence is why I never take risks and why I've been held back in my life.

Are there any methods that any of you have used to get over this sort of problem? Are there any books or sites I can consult when I can't see my therapist or that will give me additional insight?

Thanks for any help. If you need to follow up, I've set up a throwaway e-mail at unconfidentman@gmail.com

Help my brain...in Japan!

Griffinlb — Tue, 26 May 2009 08:32:53 -0800

Looking for some advice on how to cope with long-standing psychological issues - except...I'm studying in Tokyo for the next month, which adds some unique twists. I'm studying Japanese here in Tokyo for the next month, and I'm feeling relatively isolated - by the language, by the living arrangements, but mostly by myself. While I expected to have a fresh outlook, and leave my old mindset back in the states, all of the issues I've been dealing with for the past few years followed me here with a vengeance.

I realize I need a therapist, and I had one in the past, but the prospects of seeing one here in Tokyo are both complicated and probably expensive...and I'm only here until the end of June.

So, now for some background info:

I'll try to be as concise as I can, but it's very hard to break down logically. I'm sorry if this gets obtuse - or if I leave out anything pertinent.

I'm 18. I grew up with a (mildly) bipolar father & both my parents were relatively young. I've always (since a very young age) had issues with anxiety - since I was 7 or 8 I have never had any lasting period of contentedness. A few years ago, however, things took a turn for the worse.

During the summer a few years back I had a traumatic breakup with my girlfriend - I made a lot of reprehensible decisions and dealt with shame, guilt and self-hate for the subsequent year. Without getting too detailed, I had a period of total confusion following the breakup, (I was reading crime & punishment which didn't help), and I came out of it feeling like my brain had been dipped in battery acid.

I suffer from low to...less-low anxiety constantly, but generally it feels a little bit more like depression. My anxious tendencies have a lot to do with control - over my life, my environment, my self. More importantly though, I have deep issues with self worth - and beneath the surface I feel constantly evaluated/judged in everything I do. I also have come to realize I have difficulty connecting with other people in a healthy way.

So.

Now I'm in Japan. In the past, all of these issues seemed to subside when my circumstances changed. Sadly, they've shown no signs of going away. I guess these things truly do come from within...shucks.

I'm attending a language school where there are mostly Korean and Chinese students. I feel like I do not know enough Japanese to strike up meaningful friendships with my non-english-speaking peers, and it's even harder to communicate with native-Japanese-speakers. On the other hand I feel like I do not connect with my US peers, and I find the few friendships I have un-fulfilling. I would like to be happy without needing a peer group I connect with, but I've come to realize I rely heavily on the approval of others - and even when I receive it, my own negativity renders it meaningless.

In combination with the feelings of isolation, I feel demotivated, often depressed, and lackadaisical. I know a fair amount of Japanese grammar, so I have little motivation to study for my class. I've tried my best to practice independently using some nifty websites I found, but lately I haven't been keeping up with that - I'm dying to improve my Japanese, but I'm not confident that studying from a textbook is the best way to do it. I also feel constantly anxious that I am not taking advantage of my time here in a place that has inspired me since childhood. I have been sketching every day, which feels like the only thing that has kept me going.

Here are some technical factors: 1 - I have a limited budget from my parents (and I feel often guilty about 'wasting' their money). 2 - I have class from 1- 5 with a 45min-1hr train ride there and back, which breaks up the day inconveniently. 3 - Because my dorm is so far away, (and allows male guests only, and only until 9pm), it is hard to find any activities that do not require copious amounts of money. 4) I often feel compelled to take advantage of the meal plan and go home for dinner, which leaves me trapped in a (very) boring town.

Right now things are a little better, but as always my feelings are day to day with me. The past two nights I've stayed up late drinking alone and drawing, which feels liberating, but probably isn't such a good thing. Today I slept until 3, and didn't go to class for the first time.

Well, this is certainly obtuse. I'm sure that's more than enough information...

I'm just looking on some advice on how to turn things around, feel more confident and alive here in Japan. I would love to be jazzed about being here, and motivated to do things every day - without feeling like I need people that I connect to. (For me, 'people that I connect to' is code for 'girls that I adore' - in case that helps at all)

Any advice that goes above and beyond my stay in Japan is more than welcome.

I'm sorry that this turned out so long and complicated. It probably didn't need to be.

Thank you Hive Mind, for taking the time. I really appreciate any advice, comments etc.

If you come to work with the 'flu, why can't I come to work with the weepies?

Anonymous — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 08:13:45 -0800

I disclosed depression at work. Most of the things people tend to do in response to a depressed colleague are things which actually make me sicker. What to do? I've lived with depression for years. Mostly I manage it quite well and I've never disclosed it at work. Today, my boss caught me crying and asked me straight up what was wrong. I told her. She was cool, and understanding, and has promised to keep my disclosure confidential. But she told me to go home and wants to talk with me later about workload.

How do I work in an environment where the person managing my workload knows that I'm impaired? It's a stressful industry. Everybody has bad days and the work still has to be done. I don't want to be the emotional gimp of the office and I don't want special treatment. It's embarrassing to be allowed not pull my weight and I'm afraid that any reduced output will reflect poorly on me in the future.

I'm young, ambitious and working on a short contract in a very high-pressure industry. I know my workplace probably is full of crazy people of various descriptions, but there's a lingering attitude that if you can't handle the heat, you should get out of the [metaphorical] kitchen. I'm already concerned that disclosing my condition, whether directly or by being seen to have a meltdown at work, will mark me out as being ill-suited to this job. How can I convince my employer that I can handle a stressful job despite having a stress-sensitive illness?

I would very much like to hear from successful people in stressful jobs who have managed depression at work without becoming the Fragile Employee of their department. I just need to know that it's possible.

How to get treatment for depression without income or health insurance?

jnnla — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:14:14 -0800

I suspect I am suffering from Depression and I have no health insurance or current source of income - how do I get help? Three months ago I quit my high-paying job due to extreme job dissatisfaction, and with the job, I also lost my employee sponsored health care. I have since missed the deadline to file for COBRA (I live in California).

As a result I am currently unemployed (by choice) and without health care. I am 26 years old and am extremely fit and healthy physically (gym 3x at least per week), but mentally I suspect that I am suffering from depression.

I was diagnosed with depression as an 18 year old, but overcame it and within a year and a half became happy and healthy again.

Within the last two years, however, I have felt "flat," and I feel the familiar pangs of depression - a general all-encompassing apathy, constant anxiety and intrusive negative thoughts, as well as the random urge to cry or hole myself away in my bed. My omnipresent negative emotions and worries, I feel, prevent me from reaching my potential. These feelings partly led to my decision to quit my job, which was only exacerbating my condition. I committed to take time off for a few months to work on personal projects, explore other possible career paths, and to try to handle my negative feelings. I have saved up money (quickly running out) in order to facilitate this plan.

I would like to see a therapist and get a diagnosis, as well as schedule regular therapy sessions. In my normal state I am a very vibrant and social person, who has a zest and love for life - and I would very much like to have that person back and get him working again...but I feel I need treatment.

QUESTION:
So...what is an unemployed person without health insurance to do? How do I go about getting help? I can afford CHEAP health insurance for a few months (100-150 dollars per month). I have looked into Tonik, and am going to give them a call but it is unclear to me whether they have mental health coverage - furthermore, should I be mentioning my condition when calling health insurance companies or will that get me denied or put me in a waiting period for treatment? I assume my options are to see a therapist of my choice out of pocket or to buy health insurance and have them foot the bill for an in-network shrink. In the meantime are there any free or state-sponsored options I can look into? Any help on the matter would be greatly appreciated!

New insurance and pre-existing conditions?

Anonymous — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 17:40:40 -0800

Pre-existing condition and new health insurance, what do I need to know? I suffer from depression. I was diagnosed in late 2005 and received treatment through the beginning of 2006, covered by the insurance plan from my full-time employer at the time.

Since leaving that job in early 2007, my coverage has been spotty and sporadic, using short term plans just so I wouldn't be totally bankrupted if I got cancer or something. I haven't been covered for the entirety of that time, however... there were gaps of varying lengths between renewals, the longest was probably two or three months. I don't get coverage through my current employer.

I recently signed up for a full-fledged plan, and it starts soon. I disclosed my original depression diagnosis, but what I didn't disclose is that I've been experiencing a pretty severe relapse on and off in recent months. The application didn't ask for that info in explicit terms, but it did ask how I would categorize my mental state over the last few months, and I responded with something to the effect of "mildly depressed" (it was multiple-choice). Any of these may have been the wrong things to do, but they're done already so that's not my question. In my defense, at the time I filled in the application I was actually doing okayish so "mildly depressed" seemed like a reasonable average.

Now I have a letter from the insurance company reminding me that there's a nine-month waiting period for pre-existing conditions, including conditions for which "a prudent layperson would have sought treatment" within six months before coverage. Obviously my original diagnosis falls outside that limitation... my relapse does not, but there's no documented evidence of it other than possibly the response I gave on the application.

So here's my question. If I want to seek treatment for my depression and get it covered under this plan, what should I know? For example, is it going to throw up red flags if make an appointment with a therapist within the first week of coverage? Does it matter that I had short-term coverage during most of this time, but opted not to use it? Or am I overanalyzing the situation entirely?

Thanks.

somebody help me

Anonymous — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 19:53:44 -0800

I've recently taken on, what I've found to be, the most miserable and painful task ever. That is, finding a mental health provider that is covered by my insurance... (Long "please-for-the-love-of-everything-good-in-this-world-Help-me" story.) I haven't had much luck though and since I've decided to ask for help, and can't find any, my problems seem to have been exasperated and I'm feeling more and more helpless.
I don't know how long I've been like this, possibly forever. I feel crazy though. I'm often irritated, angry, depressed, exhausted and extremely anxious simultaneously. Today, for example, I really had a problem convincing myself that it was a good idea to go to work. Then, after finally forcing myself out of bed, I spent the day fighting back tears and feelings of rage. I fantasize about hurting myself when I can't handle these emotions. I have acted on those fantasies in the past, but not often. I do pick at my skin constantly, i.e. acne that's not really there, hangnails that I've created. I guess all that's really beside the point. I'm just feeling less and less in control and I'd like to know what I'm supposed to do.
I finally found a psychiatrist who will see me in two weeks. I don't know if I can wait that long, but I can't afford anyone outside my plan. Any ideas? Any similar experiences? Am I really crazy?

Please help me sort out my anxiety-related relationship problems and help me to have an open heart.

Anonymous — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:06:39 -0800

Please help me sort out my anxiety-related relationship problems and help me to have an open heart. I am really struggling a lot with seemingly intractable problems with some of the relationships in my life. When it comes to dating, I have a deep mistrust of men that is hard to overcome. I don't know where it really comes from--maybe from bad experiences or from my anxiety, which is almost crippling--but I am so distrustful and "closed off" that it's hard to let someone in. I'll meet someone who seems nice but in the back of my mind "maybe he only wants one thing" and I don’t allow myself to trust him. This, I think, make me say things that come across the wrong way or act rejecting without meaning to.

As I mentioned, I seem to have a knack for either saying things the wrong way or being misunderstood. I wasn’t allowed to be around other kids much when I was little, and my family a very poor role model for communication. So although I have improved a lot, my relationships sometimes turn sour without my having a clear understanding of why.

I also seem to misunderstand others quite a lot, and perhaps my reading of people and situations is a little “off.”

All of this has lead to a high-intensity anxiety situation! Since so many relationships did not work out in the past, I always expect and predict that the next one won’t work out too. It seems to be like a self fulfilling prophecy because sometimes I see drama/conflict/rejection when it isn’t really there. A lot of this I think is due to my anxiety, but unfortunately even with long-term psychotherapy my progress is very slow. Sometimes I literally *cannot* relax and I have physical symptoms like aches, pains, and irritability.

I have tried pharmaceuticals. Only one antidepressant (Celexa) was of any value, and my response to it was extremely positive. I was calm, relaxed and easygoing…the complete opposite of the nervous wreck that I am without it. However, I had numerous and side effects (weight gain, sexual problems, extreme tiredness, lack of motivation, etc.) and just decided that I would have to work on fixing my insides rather than hoping for a medication to fix all of my problems. (I do take benzos when I have an anxiety attack, but I can’t take them all of the time.)

Anyway, this is a long question, but I guess I’m wondering is how can I learn to open up to others and let go of my fear of rejection and my high-strung, anxious nature? I spend a lot of time analyzing “what went wrong” in various situations but I’m not sure it’s really getting me anywhere. As I said, I’m in therapy (and very pleased with it) but these are really complex problems and I’m discouraged by my slow progress. I will mention that I have some trauma in my past (not sexual trauma, but general trauma) that probably contributed to all of these problems.

Am I dumb to think I can use speed safely?

Weng — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 18:30:12 -0800

Any positive (or at least relatively benign) experiences with short-term usage of non-prescribed dex-amphetamine as a study aid and appetite suppressant? I've done a lot of research and read a few horror stories about withdrawal from the drug, rapidly escalating tolerance, screwed-up metabolisms, severe depression and so on. So I'm fully aware of the potential adverse effects of abuse & also the questionable morality (or whatever) of using a drug not prescribed to me, etc etc.

What I'm curious about is whether anyone has "successfully" used it for a short period (say, a couple of months) to help them study, focus, complete a project, lose a small amount of weight, or some other 'non-medical' purpose? ... 'successful' in the sense that you have managed to avoid creating a major drug dependency, ruining your metabolism for life, giving yourself chronic depression...

Am I a fool to think I can avoid these scenarios? Is there any safe use of this drug by a relatively healthy 25yo female? Are there ways to maintain the efficacy of the drug's effects while staying healthy & sane?

Further info: I've been taking between 5 and 15 mg per day, 6 days per week, for around 2.5 weeks. So far it has been an excellent help in keeping me focused, alert all day, sticking to my diet, going running instead of falling asleep after work etc. My tolerance has remained fairly low. Thinking of continuing similar / slightly higher dose for next 2 months or so, until my prescription runs out. Have been trying to ensure I get enough sleep, have a day's break from the drugs - plus I was planning to taper down withdrawal rather than stopping suddenly.

Thanks to anyone who can offer their advice & experience... By the way, I have searched Google and Erowid already, but mainly seems to be horror stories... of course, this may well be because that's all there is! So your help in confirming or denying this, would be much appreciated!

How to climb out of severe depression?

Anonymous — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 20:05:47 -0800

How to climb out of severe depression? I am severely depressed, to the point where I've been forced to leave my job and move back in with family members. I am seeing a therapist and am on medication, but so far have experienced few positive results. I basically am completely unmotivated to do anything but surf the internet, watch TV, and exercise. I've gone from being a successful young professional to doing essentially nothing, all day, every day. This feeling of "doing nothing" worsens the depression, and I'm thinking that achieving some simple goals might help by giving me some small feeling of accomplishment, which might improve my depression. What are some simple goals that I can set or simple projects to attempt so that I can feel like I am doing something? Preferably things that don't require leaving home, because I'm also dealing with social anxiety, but anything is welcome. Also welcome are alternative suggestions for dealing with the depression, besides the standard "exercise" or "get outside". Thanks so much.

How to stop being a miserable wretch and start living

Anonymous — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:20:52 -0800

I seriously need some inspiration here. I'm female, 32, single, miserable in my job, cannot seem to get it together, and don't seem to find enough hours in the day to simply HANDLE MY LIFE. Ok, I know this question has been tackled in various forms over time, but I seriously need some inspiration here. I'm female, 32, single, miserable in my job, cannot seem to get it together, and don't seem to find enough hours in the day to simply HANDLE MY LIFE. I'm obsessing over the guy who just dumped me, my friends are all getting married and having babies, and I live alone in a wreck of an apartment, struggling to pay off mountains of student loans and sinking further into a depression. I've been seeing a psychologist, who has helped. I've been exercising tons, which has helped. But I just saw photos of myself that actually frightened me because over the past year I have declined so much physically that I barely recognize myself. I look old and tired and faded. I feel frustrated and alone and ugly and terrified.

I know: Boo-hoo. I understand that this is life, that these feelings and the experience of aging are not unique to me. But I feel like I need to make some radical changes and I do not even know where to begin. If it was as simple as getting a new job, I'd do it. If it meant getting a new apartment, great. If packing up my belongings and moving to Sri Lanka would help, I'd, y'know, give it some thought? I just don't know. I volunteer. I eat healthy. I socialize. I'm just not getting anywhere.

Any ideas on how to come back to life again?

Correcting medical records

Anonymous — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 12:29:52 -0800

Can incorrect and speculative family history be corrected on my medical records? My medical records show a family history of depression. Can I have this corrected?

I was diagnosed with pure O OCD during the last month of my first pregnancy, but I never became depressed. I experienced the symptoms for about 4-6 months after the birth of my first child. When I was referred to reproductive psychiatry, my family doctor asked if my mom or grandma had suffered from depression. I said, "Yeah, probably." When I saw the reproductive psychiatrist, she asked if my mom or grandma had suffered from depression. I said, "Yeah, I think so."

About a year later, I was injured in a car accident that the other driver took 100% fault for. I got a lawyer. My lawyer told me I needed to have my med records released, but that he would black out anything personal. I explained that I'd had this perinatal depression -- not that I had ever been depressed, but that I'd had the Pure O OCD. He said it wouldn't be a problem and that he could black anything out and that he didn't necessarily even need to release it all. When I told my GP, she was very concerned about my records getting into the hands of anyone other the medical profession. But she agreed that my credibility in the personal injury case depended on transparency. So we sent the records to the lawyer.

My lawyer now has them and says that the perinatal mental health issues cannot be blacked out and, further to that, he must release the records. But, further complicating things is the family history of depression. I never knew that I was being asked if my family members had been diagnosed with depression. In fact, it was my own speculation and it was based on my grandmother feeling very sad after moving here as a war bride and finding herself isolated and living in a very, very poor rural area with a husband who had (lovingly) misled her about his financial profile. Meanwhile, my mom had been kinda down when I went off to college and she lost her job at the same time. Even though both of them went to their doctors and talked about how they were feeling, they were never diagnosed with depression. And it was all situational.

So, I was incorrect about the family history of depression, which I didn't even realize was being recorded as family history. (And I didn't know it was being recorded as family history.) Is there anything I can do about this now?

(Sorry for the rambling post -- I'm trying to provide info to help with the anonymous question, not fixate on the situation!)

Thanks in advance.

Medical privacy at work?

Anonymous — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 13:51:35 -0800

I am a new college graduate (last June), a typical overachiever, and I landed one of those high-paying, high-stress, high hours analyst jobs at an investment bank in New York City. I am now seven/eight months in and struggling with some pretty serious depression. The job is not necessarily the cause of the depression - it's been an issue in the past - but is clearly a trigger. The job is a bit of a dream job for me, though - I'm legitimately interested in what I am doing, not just in it for the money or exit opportunities like many of my colleagues (not that there's anything wrong with these motivations).

My depression is really impacting my ability to enjoy anything about life, though, I've visibly lost weight, and its getting to the point where I'm unable to function effectively at work. My question is not whether I should stick with the job - I haven't given enough information for you'll to make that determination, and I suspect I know what the answer would be based on this. Instead, my question is regarding my options about discussing this with someone from HR. Basically, my company has a policy where we are permitted to take up to 12 weeks ST disability for health problems. I'm interested into looking into this but am concerned about how taking time off would affect my relationship with my director/group, being perceived by others as "sick" when I return, and, not unimportantly, how taking extended sick time would affect my end-of-year bonus (paid in July). I would like to discuss these issues with my HR "contact person" before making a decision either way, but do not want my manager or group to know about it. If I disclose to my HR person that I'm having these problems and considering taking some time off, is she allowed to tell my boss? Or is medical information kept confidential? In other words, can I bring up these issues without being worried about it getting through to my boss? Obviously if I do end up deciding to take time off for medical reasons my boss will know about the situation at that point, but I'd like to have these issues addressed before I make a decision. Thanks for any advice. I can be contacted at my throwaway email address btcarter777@yahoo.com.

How do I not screw up the rest of my life?

matryoshka — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 04:54:32 -0800

How do I not screw up the rest of my life? I've just turned 24 and my life is a mess. OK, so this is going to be long...

To start at the beginning - I was raised in a very religious (almost cult-like) environment until the age of about 13. Then, due to my dad's alcoholism/affairs he was kicked out of the religion and my parents eventually divorced. I am now not religious at all, but my parents are still involved with that religion. Around age 14/15 I started having very bad anxiety attacks and ended up in hospital several times. I was put on anti-depressants just before I turned 16 which were supposedly non-addictive but had such bad side-effects that I didn't manage to stop taking them until last year, and that was after many months of self-weaning. I have never had therapy and it was never offered apart from a short period of family counselling around the time my parents split (it didn't help). I dropped out of school at 16 with hardly any qualifications and did mostly waitressing on and off until I was 19. By this time, my friends were going off to university and I was left behind, but I don't recall it bothering me too much at that point.

I had a particularly horrible period between age 20-21 - I was (physically) ill, had surgery, slipped into very deep depression and became pretty much a shut-in. I hardly left my house in those two years and made little attempt to stay in touch with anyone. I did write quite a lot though and had several close online friends, but they eventually got understandably exasperated that I constantly refused any real-world contact and I quit writing because I felt I would never be anything close to good at it. But it's still the one thing I wish I could do well.

Finally, when I turned 22, I realised I had to get off my ass and just do something. I got a tech support job with a broadband company which I really enjoyed and got to be quite competent at and went back to college. I had a manic year of working and studying full time, but managed to pull it off and got accepted into a top-10 university in England (I'm from the UK, but my home country is not England). Feeling pretty confident, unmedicated and relieved at getting a second chance (even when my old friends were finishing university), I went off to uni this September...and completely fell apart. I felt totally intimidated by everyone around me (smarter, prettier and four or five years younger) and every bit of self-esteem I'd built up over the previous two years was zapped in about two weeks. It got so bad I couldn't go to lectures and couldn't do simple things like food shopping (my mind would blank out and my hands would start shaking at the check-out...it was embarrassing). Obviously I made no friends, but this was almost entirely my fault.

I quit before even completing the first semester. Although I'm relieved, I regret not trying harder. Now I'm at home again, jobless and about to go through the process of applying to university for next year closer to home. I can still go to a very good university in my home city and come out with a decent degree, but by that point I'll be 27. I have friends around that age now either working and earning £30K+ or about to finish PhDs. It's so disheartening because I know I can be smart and capable, I just can't be consistent about it. I hear pretty often that I have "potential" at various things. But when I look at my peers, I see them actually doing stuff rather than just having the potential to do stuff. I've coasted on "potential" for way too long - there has to be a point where I start delivering, and I'm not. I should be at the same level as them, but instead I'm five years behind thinking I'll never catch up. I am paranoid about getting older and can't help feeling that I'm not youthful anymore and that the things I should have been doing - living my life, travelling, having relationships (I'm still a virgin and have only been intimately involved with one person...several men have wanted to sleep with me, but they never fall in love with me) - have passed me by and that window of opportunity to just be young and carefree is rapidly closing.

My relationship with my parents is complicated. I'm very close to my mother (who I live with) and when my dad isn't drinking too much we can have an OK, though not close, relationship. They are always encouraging and financially more supportive than they probably ought to be given that I'm an adult, but they don't exactly push me to succeed, and never have. I guess the fact they believe the world is close to ending means they don't put too much of an emphasis on getting a solid education and I resent the fact that they allowed me to drop out of the education system at such a young age. I'm sure I was a brat at that time, but I was, socially at least, a very naive kid and it was their responsibility to maintain some sort of structure in my life and they didn't do that. I also resent that my mother allowed me to be medicated at such an early age and did not insist on my doctor addressing the real problem. To have spent such important years feeling alternately crazy and numb was, I believe, very damaging and I'm still trying to figure out things about myself I should have been learning years ago. But I'm not blaming them for everything or for the decisions I have made as an adult. I know they love me and just want me to be happy, but they are not good mentors and I feel like I'm having to figure out all this stuff on my own with no one to help guide me or even just give me something to do and let me get on with it.

Right now, I am very close to being depressed and shutting myself away from the world again. I am struggling to sleep and eat properly, I waste days in front of the computer doing nothing, I'm avoiding people and I'm panicking at the thought of going outside. I don't want this to be happening again, because I'm not sure I could make it through twice. I don't really remember not feeling depressed, but at least when I had a job and college I had a certain amount of obligations which forced me out into the world and gave me the motivation I needed to get things done. I'm looking for a new job but I am still quite devastated by my university failure - it has hit me hard because I genuinely wasn't expecting it and my mother simply can't understand why I'm upset about it. If it had happened when I was younger it would bother me less, but with the sense of urgency and the fear of "running out of time" I already have, it's very hard to accept that I have failed yet again.

I realise my issues are not solvable by just posting this question. I feel guilty for even writing all of this because I know that compared to many people I haven't had a hard a time at all, so maybe I'm just spoiled and lazy and have no one to blame but myself. I'm considering therapy, but I'm worried about approaching my doctor because I absolutely will not go on medication again (and I know that's what will be suggested because this is the NHS and it's cheaper/easier to drug someone than it is to fix them).

In short, I am lost and alone and terrified. I guess I just want advice, hope, reassurance that it's not too late for me to be OK. I'm tired of being miserable and scared of the whole world. It's exhausting and I want to live and not feel this damn old when I'm only in my mid-twenties.

(I'm sorry about the length, and for being whiny.)

Help finding low cost therapy in the Philadelphia area

antisocialiting — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 23:08:47 -0800

Recommendations or help with finding low cost therapy in the Philadelphia area for anxiety and depression. Any particular schools, agencies or companies that you know of or have used would be great.

Effexor and Iron

Tbola — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 18:50:55 -0800

I was on Effexor for about a year to treat my depression, during which time (for the first time in 7+ years) my weight training came screeching to an abrupt halt. (My energy level just wasn't there anymore, nor was I able to focus enough to be able to have a satisfying workout.) Anyways - I've been off that stuff since late September, and for the last few months I've been attempting to make lifting weights part of my regular lifestyle once more.
Problem is - even after a few months, my strength just doesn't seem to want to come back.
Coming back off of a layoff, I expected to start out weak, gain strength fairly quickly, then plateau. My plateau seems to be at the "weak" level, however.
I'm keeping my workouts very bare-bones with just the basic moves (presses, deadlifts, etc.) and six days of rest before working the same muscle group, to avoid over-training.

So, I guess I have two distinct questions. (I hope that's not cheating.)

1) To any past Effexor users: has anyone else had a similar experience, either in the initial drop in energy level, or the difficulty in getting back in shape?
2) To everyone: any ideas for "kick-starting" my failing attempts to regain my strength?

(I'm 34 years old - in case that matters.)

Is there a Dr. House in the house?

jeanmari — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 21:05:16 -0800

After a long battle with mysterious chronic health symptoms, I'd like a "medical detective" to help me get to the bottom of what might be ailing me. But, what kind of doctor do I need? (If you are squeamish, move along...nothing to see here.) Since high school (I just turned 40), I have been treated for this or that separately (depression, hypothyroidism, unexplained lactation while not pregnant...nice, eh?, ruptured ovarian cysts, excessive sleepiness, stress-induced candidiasis, yadda, yadda). I hate going to doctors because I often think that THEY will think that I am a hypochondriac or something.

I am treated by different doctors for different things. I have an OB/Gyn, a general practitioner who I rarely see, and a doctor that specializes in medical treatment of depression.

I've ignored or just powered through the ups and downs of my symptoms for decades, dealing with individual symptoms as they get unmanageable. But now that I have an 8-month old, I'm beginning to think that I should deal with this more seriously. Especially since I'm noticing effects on my health/mood via pregnancy and nursing.

I'd like to have my prolactin levels and my progesterone levels checked. I'm wondering if I have prolactinoma (there is a long explanation for why I think this might be possible) or something wrong with my pituitary.

What kind of doctor deals with this? Who would I look for? Is there one type of doctor that would approach this diagnosis systemically? Or would I have to (please no, please no) see more than one type of doctor?

Small Changes that can positively impact weight loss?

tastybrains — Wed, 19 Jul 2006 11:04:55 -0800

Help me come up with some easy, small changes to make to my lifestyle to help me lose weight while dealing with other life issues (e.g. depression). I've been trying to lose weight for a number of years, ever since college. Since graduating college in 2002, I've always been on a diet. Most recently, I spent 2.5 years trying to follow the WW plan.

My issue is that I also suffer from anxiety & depression, which I am getting treatment for. Working with my therapist, I've realized that I go through cycles - 1 week of getting very excited about losing weight (and getting my life & mood together in general), 1 week of following my strict routine, 1 week of feeling kind of burnt out and half-assing it, and then about a month of just falling into a deeper depression and essentially feeling like I don't care and it doesn't matter.

Because of this, I haven't reached any sort of consistency. Following a diet plan isn't going to work if I only stick to it 2 weeks out of 2 months. And because of my depression, I am starting to feel like it's unrealistic from me to go from miserable-tired-emotional-binger to WW poster girl overnight. I've tried & failed too many times before, so that the mere thought makes me want to just crawl under a rock.

At any rate, while I am trying to mostly focus on my depression right now, I am also fairly overweight, and while I'm trying to accept myself for who I am and all that, I can't ignore my weight & my health.

So, I'd like to try a different approach. I would like to pick 2 or 3 habits to incorporate into my life, things that are not too small nor too drastic, and once I've stuck with them for a month or two, adding a couple more good habits.

So, can you recommend some small changes that, done consistently, could make an impact in health & weight over time?

(Note: I'm not interested in diet plans, especially ones that eliminate entire food groups. I'm working on trying to become a "normal" eater, but one who naturally chooses mostly healthy foods.)

Are you really what you eat?

echo0720 — Wed, 24 May 2006 14:31:27 -0800

What have been your experiences with the effect of changes in diet and nutrition on depression? I was inspired to ask this question by some of the answers to this thread. Someone recently mentioned to me that Vitamin B-Complex vitamins are supposed to help with mild depression and with lack of energy, and I was wondering two things. (1) Have any of you found Vitamin B-complex to be helpful in treating mild depression; and (2) Have you found any other changes to your dietary habits to have been helpful?

I'd like to ignore exercise and drugs as options right now and concentrate solely on nutrition for this question. Thank you!

How can I stop sweating at night?

talitha_kumi — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 07:17:30 -0800

How do I cope with night sweats? Frequently over the last month or two, I've been waking up in the middle of the night, shivering and soaked with sweat. I mean soaked to the point that both my nightclothes and the bedsheets are noticeably wet to the touch. My doctor has told me that this is likely a side effect of the medication I'm on (cymbalta and amisulpride, if it's relevant) and that there's nothing she can do about it. But this is affecting both the duration and the quality of my sleep, because it's pretty hard to get back to sleep when you're lying in a cold puddle. It doesn't seem to be related to the temperature of the bedroom, although I've noticed that the sweating seems to occur more frequently and affect me more if I forego the nightclothes. Does anyone have any suggestions for how I could either avoid the problem, or cope more effectively with it? Stopping or reducing the medication isn't an option.

Please help me cope with a forthcoming hysterectomy.

Anonymous — Wed, 02 Nov 2005 21:21:13 -0800

I'm shortly scheduled to have a hysterectomy. It's not going to be abdominal, so I don't have to worry about taking care of sutures, but I want to know how I should prepare: what physical comforts I should have on hand, dietary staples, recovery strategies, and resources and guides I should consult prior to this. I'll have my husband helping me while I recover, and I don't want him to get overwhelmed, so if there's any resources that might help him that would be good too.

Also, I am young, with no children, and even though I never thought I wanted to have them I find myself having nightmares and overwhelming sadness and grief. I don't know how to comfort myself. Any thoughts or suggestions would be deeply appreciated.

I'd appreciate advice on being treated for chronic mild depression.

Anonymous — Sat, 08 Jan 2005 01:18:05 -0800

It's taken me years to realize it, but depression has made an impact on my life I just can't ignore any more. I have come out of it often enough to know it's really worth licking. But it seems I spend 3/4 of my year or more grumpy, lazy, and increasingly empty-feeling. The lazyness is the killer, actually. I have lots of things I do to feel better, but I'd like to check out clinical treatment options, too, as I feel I've reached the limit of simple diet and lifestyle remedies. I have no idea where to begin. If anyone here has been treated for chronic mild depression I'd appreciate advice on what I can do. Thanks Meta!

Supplemental Mental Health Insurance in the U.S.

Anonymous — Sun, 19 Dec 2004 18:09:27 -0800

I am in search of supplemental mental health insurance (in the US). Does such a thing exist? I'm a full-time grad student about to lose my awesome COBRA benefits from my past job. I'm going on to my husband's plan, which has crappy mental health coverage (only 20 therapist visits a year vs. 45 with my last insurance). I need weekly visits, but there's no way to change the plan. I've googled for supplemental health insurance, but I mostly get sites for those on Medicare. I've checked several major insurance companies, but none have any specifics about their mental health coverage. Has anyone else dealt with this situation? Perhaps someone who works in the insurance industry can point me in the right direction?