Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with healing

Why do I freak out if I don't know why?

MultiFaceted — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:03:28 -0800

I need help dealing with "unknown", especially in personal issues. I have an intense desire to know why something is happening, what someone's explanation is and I wind up a big ball of anxiety while overthinking it. I want to know how to be comfortable with just "not knowing", and how to be comfortable with the resulting feeling of not being able to control the situation. This latest bout of stress is based on romantic relationship stuff, but I do this whole worrying/overthinking thing in other situations too. My marriage ended because my husband just didn't love me and didn't want to be married to me anymore. He couldn't tell me why, couldn't give me a reason (literally, he just said "I don't know")...he just didn't want me anymore. I asked him over and over again for any sort of explanation, but I never really got one. So I spent a lot of time trying to analyze and figure it out to no avail. I wanted to know what I did wrong so that I don't repeat the same mistakes again (I'm assuming I have control in this situation...even though I probably don't).

Currently, there's a guy I'm interested in and we've been talking for a while (we live 5 hours apart so don't physically see each other very often). He and I have a lot of history together and he has said he wants a relationship with me but he needs to deal with some issues first (which is true...he does need to get mentally pulled together). I thought things were going pretty well overall, but for the past 3 weeks I haven't heard a word from him. I've sent a couple of texts and left a couple of messages but never got a response. Tonight he did respond to a text saying that he lost his phone a "while back" and wasn't able to afford a replacement until yesterday. I texted back asking him to call me so we could catch up...and there's been no response.

So...I have no explanation for the silence over the past 3 weeks. I understand work gets in the way (he can't always have his phone with him) but I'm not sure I'm buying the whole lost phone explanation. Even though we don't have any official ties to each other, I'm getting closer and closer to just walking away from him, but it seems like I can't let myself go without knowing why. Once again, I keep telling myself that if I know what his explanation is, I would feel better about the whole thing. Maybe he's just not into me, but if I knew why he wasn't into me I could somehow do something to improve for the next time.

This has had me tied up in knots over the past week. Right now my entire life feels out of control, and I'm desperately searching for some way to have control over something meaningful. I don't know what's next for me, I'm still struggling with getting more comfortable with my new "singleness", although I thought things were getting better. I've just been utterly overwhelmed and paralyzed the past few days (again).

So, the question is: What can I do to be able to handle not knowing/the unknown, and what can I do to learn how to be OK with not feeling in control in these types of situations?

(I do have the next two days off with no commitments so I have time to do some intensive thinking/writing/exploring if you want to suggest something specific for me to focus on)

Learning to make better decisions in relationships filter:

Anonymous — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:52:35 -0800

Help me get over a broken heart uber-style. I'm taking my recent relationship experience to the max and looking at why I do what I do. Can you help me? About two months ago, I went through a pretty non-descript breakup that hurt, as all breakups do, but had a fantastically heartbreaking unexpected coda that left me in a deep depression. Without getting into much detail: We knew each other for a while, dated, had an awesome time together, things started to get funky with both of us playing a part and that led to us not being together. Not what I wanted but life don’t always do what we think it’s ‘sposed to do. After the breakup, I was privy to an overwhelming flow of information about my ex that involved lying, cheating, secrecy and all around bad form and behavior behind my back (I did not seek out the information, it came to me.) To say the least, I was devastated.
I decided to take this opportunity to look at myself, my choices and my relationship “resume”. Needless to say, I’ve made bad choices in partners before (surprise!) and vowed to get a handle on this situation. I began therapy, write regularly and spend time with good friends. But, is that enough? I know it’s only been two months but I cry. All.The.Time. I’m having a hard time processing this recent experience not to mention looking at a lifetime of dating disasters. I can see some of my patterns, you know? I see that I have made some romantic decisions based on immature reasoning: The chemistry is good, the sex is fantastic and turning a blind eye to inappropriate behavior for fear of failing in relationship. Again. This last one was a doozy ‘cause I thought I was being smart and mindful. Communincating clearly, being vulnerable and honest and all that good stuff but it was probably the most painful ending yet. I really want to learn how to make better partnering choices but don’t know how. I mean, seeing my pattern and knowing how to change it are two very different things. Not to mention, I am human. Prone to make mistakes. Does that exclude me from having a loving relationship?
So, have you been able to change your relationship patterns for the better? How and what did you do? I don’t expect that I will do an automatic 180. I expect a little two steps forward, one step back action but god damn! I need some help on the two steps forward. I feel I reek of this experience and don’t feel like I’m moving in any direction at all. If this sounds familiar, the making bad relationship choices part, how were you able to change? Anon but email can be sent to changemypatterns@gmail.com
Thanks a bunch for any and all insight.

The wound that wouldn't heal.

itsacover — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 20:22:58 -0800

YANASurgeon filter: two months ago, I had surgery. today, I am dealing with the incision opening back up for the second time. How/why and what can i do to stop it? Back in June, I had a sebaceous cyst and a small tumor removed from one of my breasts. The whole thing kind of sucked, but after a year of dealing with a recurring issue, I wanted to have done with it. A month after the surgery, one of my incisions re-opened. They first treated it with some hydrogen peroxide cleaning for a couple days, then they did a chemical cauterization with silver nitrate. After that, it seemed to close up and do well.

Early last week (about a month later), I started to have pain around the incision again and found that it had opened once more. Back to the surgeon I went and he did another round of silver nitrate. The hole was not very large and rather shallow, so we all expected this to take care of it. Three days later, the hole has gotten bigger and deeper.

So while I know you are not my surgeron, has this (or something similar) happened to you? No one seems to be able to tell me why it keeps happening nor what to do to prevent it. I am keeping it clean and bandaged at this point, but is there something else I should be doing? Is this just a waiting game to see if it'll close up and stay that way?

(and, yes, I am calling my surgeon in the AM to follow up about the situation, just looking for any anecdotes, advice, etc in the meantime.)

What to do about a friend involved in quackery (Theta Healing)?

kaat — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:58:00 -0800

What to do about a friend involved in quackery (Theta Healing)? A dear friend, seeking therapy for emotional issues, is now getting 'Theta Healing'. I'm 99% sure it is total quackery. My friend would value my opinion if I gave it, but also might react badly and I can see the relationship being badly damaged.

I would like to simply leave it alone completely; my friend is smart, and of course may find some therapeutic value in the healing (I'd call it a placebo effect - perhaps worth unknowingly paying for?). But, I've read how some consider the practice not only bogus but dangerous. Surely I must raise it with my friend?

Theta healing claims to cure absolutely anything, and instantly. Anyone can become a certified practitioner by taking a 3-day course!

In a sense, it has a home page; that of it's creator, here:
http://www.thetahealing.com/

Heavy criticism here:
http://www.thetahealingtechnique.com/bulletin-board.html

And James Randi speaks out on it, and on and on. What to do?

PTSD/EMDR questions

Anonymous — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 09:04:08 -0800

I'm a 27 year old female dealing with PTSD from extreme childhood abuse and psychoanalysis is not working. I've read previous AskMe questions, but would like more feedback from people who have had EMDR therapy. I'm also wondering if anyone has any advice on mild dissociation. A few points:

It would be tough for me to switch therapists now, but is it worth it for me to find someone who practices EMDR? Anyone have advice for or against EMDR? I've heard great things.

I don't take meds and don't tolerate them well due to side-effects.

I'm beginning to realise that I may have "dissociated" from myself, or stepped outside myself when being abused, to avoid the pain. Any thoughts on later repercussions from this? I'm beginning to feel I've left a part of myself behind, and she "comes back" under stress. My psychiatrist doesn't "interact" with me about this, just sits quietly, which is another reason I'm thinking psychoanalysis is not for me.

I'm also having trouble in personal relationships. People I want to trust inevitably sort of "become my parents" in my mind. How does one learn to trust again? Obviously I can't go on like this.

Thanks. I'm not looking for therapy here, just a little direction to get help elsewhere.

Should I take the antibiotics?

nzero — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 12:41:59 -0800

MediFilter: Should I take the antibiotics for my staph infection, even though it's getting better? Saturday morning I woke up with what looked like a spider bite on the top of my foot. By Monday evening it was hurting like hell, so I went to the ER thinking I had a brown recluse bite or something. Doctor at the ER said it was a staph infection, MRSA by the look of it. She gave me a prescription for a couple of antibiotics and sent me on my way. I tried to fill the prescriptions that evening, but the power went out at Publix (yay free antibiotics) so they weren't able to fill them until the next day. I just happened to have an appointment with my family doc Tuesday morning for something unrelated, and got him to look at my foot. He said it didn't look like MRSA to him, took a culture to test and told me to take the antibiotics until he knew more. I got the prescription filled later that afternoon, but didn't take them right away. The next morning (Wednesday) my foot was looking a lot better and the pain was pretty much gone. I decided at that time that I'd just ride it out unless the test results (which I should have tomorrow) tell me it's MRSA. Is this a bad idea? Am I running the risk of blood poisoning or some weird thing by not knocking this out right away? I'd really love if my body could kill this on its own. I'd call and ask the doctor this, but they're closed today.

Dream Job--Worst Possible Location?

Anonymous — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 23:25:16 -0800

Theoretically, I have an interview tomorrow for a dream job. I have a unique combination of educational and professional qualifications that have basically tailor-made my experience to suit said job. It's a great opportunity. But there's a catch--of course. Said job is located in Metropolis. I am currently living in College Town. Some background: About half a year ago now, I was in a serious, emotionally intense long-distance relationship with a man who lived in Metropolis. We had discussed the future and all that stuff. There were lofty expressions of love and devotion thrown around. There were also concrete, long-standing plans in place for me to move to Metropolis this spring so we could be together.

After a couple of months of problems, Metropolis Man broke things off, expressed a desire to start over as friends and see what might regrow between us (if anything), and swore his devotion to building said friendship from scratch. In the painful months that followed, as I'm sure you all might have guessed, Metropolis Man proceeded to repeatedly blow me off, play with my feelings in a less-than-compassionate way, sort of lead me on, and then basically cut me out of his life completely, to the point where we now don't really speak at all. I've come to terms with this. And I've been moving on with my own life since, putting my heart back together and looking for jobs basically everywhere but there.

Then I saw Perfect Job listed, sucked it up, told myself I was being silly and emotional for putting the advancement of my career second to nurturing/protecting hurt feelings, and made myself apply--career first, right? (Just for the record, I'm normally pretty level-headed and quick to pick myself up after the end of a relationship. This one obviously was a major bad deal and threw me for a loop. So this kind of tiptoeing around an ex is not something I am familiar with, or used to doing.)

Anyway, here's the kicker, proving that the universe has a sharp sense of humor: not only is said potential dream job located in Metropolis, but it turns out that is located in the aforementioned ex's neighborhood. Yes, really. I would basically risk running into him every single day, and spend every day in the neighborhood in which our relationship (and its painful demise) unfolded. Considering this problematic emotional location and the fact that Metropolis as a city in general has become a very painful place for me to even think about, I wouldn't even have applied in the first place before I even knew the specific neighborhood it was located in, but the job was seriously that perfect. Now that I'm faced with the prospect of actually getting on a plane to go to said city, set foot there, and walk on those familiar streets again tomorrow, I'm kind of freaking out.

My pragmatic career-minded girl side says that I shouldn't let the jerk who broke my heart stop me from interviewing for what sounds (on paper) like the perfect job for me. My emotional self who is fiercely protective of the progress I've made over the past several months getting over the honest-to-goodness trauma of the breakup (not crying as often anymore, getting back into dating, etc.) feels that, if I am sick to my stomach at even the thought of working in that neighborhood and living in the same city as said ex jerk, I should not make myself get on the plane tomorrow. My gut says to go easy on my heart, that there will be other job opportunities, and I shouldn't put my still-healing self in a potentially painful situation if I'm not up to it. But if I bow out now, listen to my heart and my gut and don't interview for this job, am I making a big mistake?

Thank you for reading all that, and for any advice you might be able to give. Questions/clarification requests can go to dreamjobworstlocationever@gmail.com.

Buddha Pest

Christ, what an asshole — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 12:48:36 -0800

As a general skeptic, how do you come to terms with a partner who believes in metaphysics? I'm a firm agnostic, staunch proponent of the scientific method, and subscriber to the notion of variability and probability. Just about every partner I've had holds beliefs in such things as predestiny, past lives, and astrology.

I try to keep an open mind, but when a recent girl took me back to her place, gave me a tarot card reading, showed off her crystals, and went on about Wiccan practices, my eyes rolled so far to the back of my head I nearly gave myself an aneurysm. Everything else about her is awesome, but I cannot come to terms with putting effort into someone who doesn't give critical analysis to her surroundings. (As an aside, I'm a very intuitive person, and after her tarot reading, I tore it to bits then turned the tables, providing an amazingly accurate cold reading about her on my own, breaking down my methodology to detailed analysis, body language, and pattern recognition, to which she simply smiled and mused that I'm a clairvoyant with untapped potential.)

The obvious answer is to move on to someone else who shares the same values [is it a value?], but maybe someone can provide me with ideas on how to better temper my tolerance for faith, even insofar as family or friends.

So for the other staunch skeptics out there, how do you deal with partners with a different take on the possible? And is it an issue of potential long-term consequence, such as when marriage or kids come into play?

This "intimacy," I fear it.

Anonymous — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 14:03:35 -0800

After a series of painful relationships, when did you know you were ready to date again? Alternately, how do you tell the difference between "not ready" and "making up excuses to not date due to being scared silly of the opposite sex" and "anxiety problems" ? Long, Non-Obligatory Background: Up until I was 24, my dating life was smooth sailing but co-dependant: I was a serial monogamist, never ever single, scared witless of not having a boyfriend. I had a couple tricky break-ups in college, but we all remained friends and I never treated anyone with less than the utmost respect, and vice versa.

Then I moved to a big city met "Adam," whom I dated for four months. We were ludicrously happy, he took me to meet his parents, told me he loved me, said he'd never been happier, and then cheated on me out of the blue. I forgave him once because he was blackout drunk and apologized so much I could barely get a word in edgewise. Then he cheated again weeks later. So we broke up. Then I met "Zed," who was brilliant, handsome, and, in his words, an emotional robot who couldn't really care about people. I was head over heels crazy for Zed (and probably somersaulting from a rebound, no less) even though he was clearly just interested in long conversations and sex once a week at the most. So I spent a good four months of sleeping with both guys, using Adam as a confidence buffer while ignoring his pleas to take him back, hoping Zed would finally realize he wanted to date me seriously. This messed me up A Lot, lead me to question my ethics and my taste in men, and my self-esteem hit bedrock. I felt like the two of them had drop-kicked my heart into a windy vortex and the worst part was that I let them.

Short story: I had a rough year. This lead to a near nervous breakdown after a few months of subjecting my emotional welfare to two pretty self-absorbed men, so I swore off dating for a year. My bedroom became a no-fly zone. I learned how to be single, focused on my friends and my career, and enjoyed the silence of coming home to an empty room. Except for the celibate part, I was really pleased with being single and valued my independence.

But it's been a year since I've met someone who caught my attention like Adam and Zed did, and no one seems remotely interesting to me. I've met objectively awesome people who ask me out on dates, but I freeze up and bail every single time. I could write pages on what I find wrong with them, and every little thing turns me off. The idea of sleeping with a new person squicks me out. In theory, I don't want a boyfriend, couldn't really fathom trusting someone else with any part of my happiness, loathe the notion of depending on anyone else, would opt to spend all my nights alone rather than suffer the emotional jeopardy of admitting someone new into my life. But I can't tell if this is okay or neurotic.

I've assumed this aversion to intimacy is part of the process of healing and learning (again) how to be single. But after blowing off lots of awesome guys who have asked me out for drinks because the idea of "just drinks" gives me the hives, I wonder if I'm writing myself a pass when I should soldier up. I know there's the adage of "being ready when you feel ready," but my fears are intensifying rather than lessening over time. So what is this? Should I respect my hibernation phase to its fullest extent, or should I suck it up and make myself go on dates with a guy who isn't manipulative Adam or bloodless Zed? And is my fear of sex and intimacy a sign of something worth shelling out money for therapy? I can barely afford my rent at the moment, so before everyone starts shouting "THERAPY," keep in mind I don't have an easy $100 lying around each week.

Wow, this is so long and self-involved. Thanks to anyone who read it in full, I'm practically going cross-eyed at the length.

The Amazon Forest Pharmaceutical Resource - Where?

watercarrier — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 02:00:57 -0800

Amazon healing plants. Who is the expert? I am looking for resources, individuals, groups that are involved with healing plants from the Amazon forest. Where are they, what are their names and how can I connect with them?

Heal Thyself

anonnymoose — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 20:30:04 -0800

How do I heal a broken heart? I am dealing with a doozy of a heartache, the likes of which I have (thankfully) never experienced before. What surefire, foolproof get-over-it and heal-thyself techniques can you recommend to help me break the lingering limerant response, mend myself, protect my heart while it's still tender, and move on as quickly as possible? Practical, hands-on suggestions are encouraged.

What the hell is Seligman talking about?

Anonymous — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 08:30:01 -0800

How do I reframe my memories of severe childhood abuse? I'm in therapy dealing with PSTD. I started reading Authentic Happiness a few days ago. I had to put the book down after the portion where Seligman says that in order to get over one's past, one needs to reframe memories of negative events into more positive ones as a way of accepting them and moving on. He doesn't specify when it's not applicable, so I'm assuming he means for my situation as well.

I'm livid, both because he's probably right and I'm resisting (and angry at myself for resisting, because I'm well aware that my self-concept is rooted in victimhood), and because I don't understand how this is possible for certain negative events. I don't know how to reframe the memories of being assaulted by "step-father", "step-father's" brother, and cousin. Or lying in bed at night as a kid, awake and alert with terror because I was waiting for "Mom" to come in and beat me with an extension cord. Some nights I'd finally drop off at 4am and she hadn't touched me. Some nights she'd force me out of bed and make me get wet in the shower first before whipping me. I won't go on, but there was a lot of abusive behavior and bald statements of the "My life would be better if you weren't here" variety - that is until I left home and then it became, "Please come back." "No, really, please come back." "You better get back here, you selfish so-and-so, right now!" No worries, I moved away and haven't spoken to any of those people for at least 8 years, but the many repercussions of having them and the horrible memories still in my headspace is why I'm in therapy and why I wanted to read the book.

I'm not dead. This is the only positive I can take from those situations right now. If someone in the hive who's read this book and feels they've successfully applied the precepts can give me some direction, I'd be grateful. Also, I'll be grateful for any suggestions on how I can better help my therapist to help me or any methods used to actually and emotionally accept that abuse happened and put those memories behind me.

If I didn't look like Darkman, I'd come to your office and yell at you...

Inspector.Gadget — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 10:31:38 -0800

Thanks to a douchebag contractor that dumped a cubic yard of broken cinder blocks in the bike lane, we're back to the eternal question: Is it better to leave a large but shallow scrape injury open to the air or cover it? Or is there some other thing I should be doing? Thus far, I've cleaned the wound vigorously with warm water and removed all the visible/palpable sand and gravel. I've also applied a thin layer of Neosporin but otherwise left the wound uncovered. Its on my forearm, if that makes a difference. So what's my best course of action, for a wound that will probably take 2-3 weeks to fully heal?

How to become an alternative healer

tonci — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 16:44:54 -0800

How does one become an alternative health practitioner? A friend is interested in pursuing alternative energy-based healing, and needs guidance on issues like:

figuring out how to evaluate what modalities, e.g., polarity versus or in addition to reiki, etc., make sense to pursue;

what certifications or training credentials will be most advantageous to building a career;

ideas about pursuing a more traditional approach, eg., MSW, as a way to offer services that can be covered by insurance;

any specific training programs that are particularly excellent;

any recommended web resources for gaining knowledge of the field.

Thanks for your ideas!

Cat brutally savaged, has had complicated surgery, aftercare will be difficult, costly and I have know idea where to begin

watercarrier — Sun, 04 May 2008 10:13:08 -0800

Cat brutally savaged, has had complicated surgery, aftercare will be difficult, costly and I have know idea where to begin..... My cat Mati was brutally and savagely attacked by a pack of wild dogs that were passing through the remote area where we live. She went missing for 48 hours where we were in sheer panic and terror of not knowing what happened to her. She somehow managed to drag herself back home, let out a moan and then collapsed from pain and exhaustion. From there she was rushed to the emergency room.

It was found she had very serious and complicated injuries to her leg, it was also badly infected with maggots after being left laying where she was for 2 days straight in the hot sun. No internal injuries or broken bones. There was a lot of necrosis, infection and damage to the leg. 4 days later she was operated on today where most of the tissue and muscle of her knee was removed in a very complicated procedure, requiring many stitches, tubes for drainage inserted and was given a warning that the after-care will not be easy.

I really don't know how to begin being a nurse to a cat that needs intensive care. I'd like to approach this from a very practical and effective, holistic way. What will I be needing in terms of equipment? How do I care for a cat that isn't usually very cooperative to say the least - with being hypersensitive to touch? What kind of therapy could I do with her after the infection subsides to help with muscles and tissues? Are there any homeopathic remedies that are good for this?

Also regarding the vet fees - I'd like to begin fund-raising to cover the costs that will be involved in her ordeal, either through song posted on the internet, a website, or finding resources out there that would help me help her. Anything, anyone out there that could possibly help in any way in this kind of situation would be greatly appreciated.

She is a wonderful, loving cat and certainly deserves to live the best way she can now - one thing is for certain - she will never, ever be going out again under these circumstances - only if and when a fenced in area can be managed and even then under close supervision. And that's a long way off from now - if ever.

Thank you.

How to best heal a facial scar?

bahama mama — Thu, 01 May 2008 06:42:23 -0800

ScarFilter: Asking for my sister. My sister fell today while running to the car and smashed her face into the pavement. Nothing broken, but she now has a wide chunk of flesh missing from the area on her nose right between her eyes. It can’t be stitched because it is not a deep cut, it is really just a chunk of missing skin, and the “dent” is very noticeable – it looks like someone scooped out a portion of her skin with a small spoon. (I apologize if that was too descriptive!) What can she do to minimize scarring while it heals? Is there anything that can be done so that skin heals in a way to make the “dent” less obvious? Should she go to a dermatologist or plastic surgeon? Has anyone had any experience with wounds like this? Anecdotes, advice, reassurance would be greatly appreciated! I've read through this and found it helpful but was wondering if there was anything more you might add?

How to say goodbye to someone already gone?

beautifulcheese — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:18:46 -0800

In the next month an important anniversary of a loved one's suicide will be coming up. I have never until this year dealt with the feelings involved with the death and the emotions involved in the loss. I have very little memories of the actual funeral involved (I was 13) but it has been suggested to me (by therapist) that maybe I may like to do some sort of memorial or ritual signifying it. I like this idea. I just have no idea how. (I will ask my therapist about any ideas she has at our next meeting in a week or so so that topic is covered)

Other family members are not interested in being involved (and think the entire thing silly and overly dramatic) so this would be something I would do on my own either in the house when they have left or somewhere outside.

I don't know where to look or even where to start. I want it to be a way of saying goodbye to my brother and that I love him but no longer need the pain involved just to be true to him. A sort of way of ending 20 years of delayed mourning.

Are there religious phrases or rituals that involve that? Ideally I would make it personal so I really am just looking for a jumping off point. I don't want to offend anyone if I'm just picking and choosing from the best of the best of their religion either. I have no experience with religion whatsoever.

Otoh I'm not very um "hippy dippy" and into smudge sticks and magik (no offence) but if there are phrases/routines that have let you put something behind you I would like that as well.

I guess what I am asking for in a long meandering way is what words or actions have you used or suggested to others to you put a landmark down on a period of pain. To say to yourself and to the beloved one I love you, I have let you go and I will move on without forgetting you.

Fun while housebound

betterton — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:59:57 -0800

Please suggest fun thing for me to do while housebound and healing from fractures. How can I keep from dying of boredom while spending the next month+ lying on the couch?

I have multiple pelvic & leg fractures and have to lie around for at least a month. I would love any suggestions for fun distractions. So far I have been reading magazines, web surfing, and playing sim city, all of which are fine but starting to get old.

Things I can't do: moving (I can hobble short distances on a walker, can't sit for more than about 30 minutes), thinking too hard (narcotics have fuzzed my brain).

Things I can do: reading, listening to music, using a computer (I have a laptop + internet connection).

Take a pinch of Agrimony...

Solomon — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 03:11:31 -0800

I'm trying to locate a New Age-y type book that I owned a few years ago. I can't remember what it's called, sadly. It had a black and khaki green cover, with a kind of Celtic knot pattern. It was a paperback.

Inside was a list of plants, trees, herbs, etc, in alphabetical order. Each plant was divided into subsections, such as cookery, healing, superstitions, history, where the Latin name came from, other uses, etc. For example, under Yew, there was information on how Yew wood was used in the formation of bows in the Middle Ages, how the tree itself is poisonous, it's often associated with old age and death etc, because it's often planted in cemeteries. Under Nettle was information on how the plant is often used as a blood tonic and dying agent for wool, as well as information on cooking it, etc.

I bought this book about 5 years ago, in a UK New Age bookshop (which has since closed down). It wasn't specifically a Wiccan or Pagan book, but I can see why people who move in those circles would be attracted to it. It was a sort of "catch-all" book, that covered everything about each plant.

Any ideas?

Is it ever okay to directly contact the other participant involved in an accident?

monkeystronghold — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:22:35 -0800

Is it ever okay to directly contact the other participant involved in an auto accident? I was involved in a pretty nasty car v. bike auto accident recently, and I’m having a difficult time coping with the outcome. His people are now talking to my people. There will likely be an insurance settlement that will hopefully cover medical expenses and other damages, and I’m in the process of healing. But I think my problem is primarily emotional closure.

The last time I saw this guy, I was strapped to a board and being wheeled into an ambulance. Now, he’s probably had his dents repaired and the only impact he feels will be slightly higher insurance premiums on his car insurance. I’m not even sure he was cited, as police don’t seem to have any idea how to deal with bike-related accidents. I can't imagine how it feels to hit a human being and watch their body fly up over your car. I'll recover, but his bad driving (I was struck from behind by a car going very fast) has now had a giant impact on my life, and I feel like he should know about it.

When the legal stuff is all done, is it okay (legally? morally?) to contact the driver, in either a letter or phone call, and say “Hi there. You’ve ruined a pretty substantial chunk of time for me. I just thought you should know about it.”?

Is that something people do? Should I? Or should I just let it go?

How do I get a cut on my eyelid to heal?

tapeguy — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 05:42:46 -0800

I've had a cut on my left eyelid for about two weeks. It still stings. How do I get it to heal? No idea how I managed to do this, but I've had a cut - like a paper cut - on the top eyelid of my left eye since before Christmas. It doesn't hurt too much, but it does sting when I close my eyes or when I put water on my face to wash.

It's not bleeding or infected but, for such a shallow cut, it's showing no signs of healing. Trying to close my eyes to sleep is also rather annoying.

Short of taping my eye closed and putting a bandage over it for a couple of days, how do I get it to heal? Considering I'm in the UK, are there any products on sale (like a wound-healing glue) that would help? And are they safe to use around the eyes?

Can time heal a fractured bone?

actionpact — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:45:16 -0800

What would happen if you fractured a bone and never got it treated? Purely theoretical question ahead, but I can't figure this answer out:

I've been having some weird dreams lately, and one of them was really long. I dreamt I was in high school and fell up a flight of stairs-- causing some pain to my tibias. (Like, I landed on the edge of the stairs--my high school's was metal edged marble steps.) In my dream I was pretty convinced that I had if not broken them totally, done some kind of fracture damage to them. But I kept on dreaming and got to the present date (~10 years later) without ever getting them treated. I remember being able to feel my bones and feel a slight indent, and I'd occasionally feel slight pain if I hit those bones or jumped a lot, but did nothing about it.

Anyway, long story short the end of the dream? I started walking a long distance and eventually both my legs broke. Picture like someone chopping a tree-- timberrrr! It was pretty gruesome and I woke up disturbed about the whole thing. I can still recall the snapping sound. Ick!

So what I was wondering is-- say something like this happened-- like a person got some kind of fracture that was not serious enough to debilitate them (I figure it must happen, people often break toes without realizing it)-- would time heal that wound? I've never broken a bone (to my knowledge anyway) so my knowledge is pretty limited in that way, but I know big fractures need to be set in order to heal-- but if it was something that didn't snap the bone all the way through, maybe it would heal on its own? Or would such a thing heal better if you did better things, like take calcium supplements/drink a lot of milk? And if calcium intake improves it, say you ignored it for several years, could you then take a lot of calcium and heal them okay after the fact? And lastly, could you wear down your bones enough to snap them in a low impact situation? I'm thinking that's more my own dreams acting as fantasy more than anything else.

Looking for a bible passage

LoriFLA — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 06:25:07 -0800

I'm looking for a passage in the bible. A crippled man is attempting the reach healing waters day after day but gets trampled by able bodied people and never makes it to the river. Jesus asks the crippled man something along the lines of, Don't you want to be healed? Don't you want to be better? You must not because you never make it to the river.

Does this ring a bell for anyone? I've tried Googling without success.

Thanks.

My dog won't heal.

stormygrey — Wed, 30 May 2007 12:53:35 -0800

Me and my vet are stumped as to follow up care for surgery. More dog filter. As a follow up to this question, the stitches that were supposed to be out in ten days have turned into staples that are still in and barely holding together a big gaping wound.

I am not kidding, there is a quarter size gap that has developed where some flesh (?) has popped out and is just exposed and raw, but doesn't seem to be painful. If we don't get this healed or if it gets infected we have to go in for another surgery.

A big issue is that there is an internal gap of some nature where the bones and stuff were taken out, so he is still draining constantly, so it just doesn't close. We have tried ace bandages, hot compresses, something called Collate that is supposed to promote fiber production. He is at least not getting infected.

Anyone have any ideas? Any supplements, physical thearpy techniques, compression techniques for a fairly active puppy?

Pressure on small, infected wounds a good idea?

Rash — Mon, 21 May 2007 20:49:55 -0800

Am I helping or hindering healing, by squeezing out the pus? My minor cuts and punctures often get infected. While these wounds are healing, I habitually fuss with 'em -- if they're even slightly swollen I squeeze the injury between thumb and finger, like a zit, in order to eliminate the pus. I figure I'm reducing the white blood cell and lymph system's workload, thereby decreasing recovery time.

True or False?