113 posts tagged with harassment.
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Do I need to take any additional action against this facebook harasser?

So, I posted a smart-alecky (but honestly, mild) joke response to a weirdo fringe comment on a news organization's Facebook post. The fringe weirdo who posted it called my place of employment, said I was bullying him, and that I should be fired. [more inside]
posted by tumbleweedjack on Jul 14, 2015 - 6 answers

Why would somebody behave like this, and how should I have handled it?

Please help me process this incident of horrible male behavior, put it in perspective, and come up with some ways to respond if I am ever unfortunate enough to experience something like this again. The balanced, zen part of me says that jerks like this must be living pretty sad lives*, and are probably more miserable than they try to make other people, but right now, that zen part needs a little support. [more inside]
posted by rpfields on Jun 9, 2015 - 17 answers

Where do GamerGaters plan their harassment?

In the next few months we're having a convention. It has the possibility of attracting GamerGate attention. We've talked about the possibility that the panels will be disrupted, but if there's definitely trouble brewing we'd like to know about it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 24, 2015 - 5 answers

Why would an army of spoofers hammer my cell phone?

I've gotten 30 spam phone calls in the last 7 hours. Why? How do I make it stop? [more inside]
posted by reverend cuttle on Apr 6, 2015 - 17 answers

Feminism for Gay Men

As a gay man, I've been having increasing problems with sexual harassment from complete strangers while out at gay bars. When this harassment happens in front of friends, I'm treated like I'm crazy for being upset. What are some clear and direct ways I can communicate my own discomfort and just how inappropriate what happened was - to people who are completely ignorant of feminism and women's issues and have bought into the toxic idea that we should be grateful for any attention we get? [more inside]
posted by C'est la D.C. on Mar 14, 2015 - 14 answers

shoring up the digital ramparts against hate mobs

I'm writing about feminism and gaming on the internet. I'm a woman. I know that if I gain any reasonable amount of success, it'll probably come with death threats and hacking attempts and doxxing and the like. What should I do now, while very few people are reading me, to protect myself? [more inside]
posted by NoraReed on Feb 25, 2015 - 35 answers

Handling being hit on 101

I am a butch genderqueer trauma survivor with severe PTSD. I just moved away from abusive family and living on my own for the first time in a decade. I was feeling very positive and safe until a drunk guy groped me and tried to come into my apartment. Can you teach me how to handle that as I have no experience dealing with random gropes due to how I look and my response was wrong in every way? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Feb 21, 2015 - 33 answers

How to handle the anger?

I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with men, from being harassed on the street or in public places, friendship, and dating situations. It makes me incredibly angry. I’ve stopped dating as a result, but that hasn’t stopped the harassment, and it certainly hasn’t gotten rid of the feelings of anger. If you’re a woman who has been in similar situations, how did you handle the anger? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 15, 2015 - 43 answers

AlgorithmFilter: Why not use Bayes to deal with online harassment?

Isn't Bayesian filtering the already-existing solution to online harassment on a medium like Twitter? [more inside]
posted by dis_integration on Feb 9, 2015 - 10 answers

Dealing with online harassment

For the last several years I've been getting occasional sexually harassing emails and Twitter @ mentions from a specific person - not an ex, almost a stranger. I've read The Gift of Fear and have been doing my best to ignore, but... I have published a book under my real name, and intend to publish more, and I don't want to nuke my whole public Internet presence just to shake this guy. Do I have to? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2015 - 7 answers

How do you get someone who likes you to stop harassing you?

My brother's too much for me to handle. How can I get him to stop calling and showing up so often? Simply telling him not to do it isn't working; he keeps coming up with dumb excuses for doing it. Though I hate the word 'creepy', what he's doing is what many would consider just that. And his behavior is almost stalker-like. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 15, 2014 - 22 answers

Someone stole my cats. Please help.

I live in Ontario. I was being sexually harassed by my male roommate ("Come on, share my bed with me"), so I left my apartment halfway through the month of October. I hired a petsitter from Kijiji.ca at the very last minute for $50/week. Now he/she/they will not return my cats, and I am very upset. [more inside]
posted by quiet earth on Nov 3, 2014 - 47 answers

How can I explain why street harassment is wrong?

My friend does not understand what is wrong with street harassment and I am looking for some resources to direct him towards that may help enlighten him. [more inside]
posted by fishingforthewhale on Oct 30, 2014 - 39 answers

is there any way to get this guy to stop harassing me on the street?

I've never met this guy, but he acts like he has the right to bother me. I just want him to leave me alone. What can I do? I hate this, it makes me feel sick. [more inside]
posted by windykites on Oct 3, 2014 - 68 answers

What are the kids these days calling each other?

What are teenagers, and college-age kids calling each other when they are trying to flirt? [more inside]
posted by JennyJupiter on Sep 4, 2014 - 23 answers

GMail: Blocking abusers by IP address?

I'm working with someone (outside of the US) who is getting a series of harassing emails to her GMail account. The abuser is sending from a number of addresses, and is thus hard to identify or block by account. Is there a way to get GMail to block mail by IP address? Filters don't seem to do it, and I doubt reporting the abuse to Google will get a response. Other solutions would also be appreciated (yes, I am talking to her about potentially using other services). Thanks!
posted by gusandrews on Aug 15, 2014 - 9 answers

What to do when a peer shames you?

In my graduate school, I am in a course where we spent the last day doing a "termination session." One part of the termination session was to tell a peer a difficulty you had with them, and one of the members of my class told me that he found my clothing too revealing and distracting and that I had made him uncomfortable. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 6, 2014 - 50 answers

How to deal with harassment when most of the evidence has been deleted

One of my good friends is being harassed by a man she dated for a few months in high school. They are both in their late 20s now. [more inside]
posted by sock it to me on May 30, 2014 - 16 answers

Help me resolve fear about trying to have a creative career.

I am interested in working on a publishing/performing career (think the sort of thing you see on The Moth). However, I am female. I am aware that all women if they get well known anywhere will immediately attract trolls, stalkers, and potential rapists who will constantly send her death threats at bare minimum. Knowing this kind of thing is guaranteed to happen to me if I try to have a creative career makes me terrified to try. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 24, 2014 - 22 answers

How do I deal with this potential street harasser (if at all)?

How do I deal with this potential street harasser (if at all)? Details within. [more inside]
posted by joeyjoejoejr on Apr 16, 2014 - 27 answers

Requesting guidance re: stalkerish ex-friend

Hi all, I have a former friend with mental health issues who is somewhat obsessed with me and has been increasingly creeper-ish over the past year. I just found out today that he now lives within 1.5 miles of me and I'm a bit freaked out. Would like to request input/advice re: next steps, partially because I'm not sure how concerned I should be. More after the cut. [more inside]
posted by cardinality on Mar 17, 2014 - 17 answers

Blocking traffic to my blog

Is there a way to block links from a certain referrer from viewing my Tumblr page, say through a javascript redirect to a blank page or a different page altogether? My blog has appeared on a site known for abuse and harassment and (though I have luckily not received any yet) I'd love to keep it from happening eventually. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 10, 2014 - 5 answers

Sexual Harassment Training: Does it work?

My workplace has never had a sexual harassment training program. Is it worth me making waves to get one implemented? I don't want to create friction for something that will just be mocked and not actually change people's behavior. Are there training programs that are better/more effective than others? [more inside]
posted by abirdinthehand on Mar 9, 2014 - 22 answers

Dangerous neighbor harassing my family. What can I do?

Dangerous neighbor harassing my family. What can I do? This has been going on for almost 15 years now, but yesterday the problem resurfaced. My family (mother, sister and her two young children) live next door to a violent man. [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Feb 18, 2014 - 21 answers

What is the best way to do deal with out-of-control tech recruiters?

I am searching for a new job in software and one particular recruiting agency is contacting me by phone to a degree that I consider harassment. I am interested in one of the jobs they're pitching, though. What's the best way to handle it? [more inside]
posted by drjimmy11 on Feb 2, 2014 - 18 answers

Not Exactly Mister Rogers

How do I get my elderly neighbor to stop harassing me? [more inside]
posted by SkylitDrawl on Jan 28, 2014 - 65 answers

Should I mention sexual harassment in a job interview?

The primary reason I'm interviewing for another job two months into a new position is because this potential job is a better fit with my interests and will better prepare me to move forward in the field. The secondary reason is because I want to escape the subtle but frequent and unwelcome sexual harassment going on at my current job and the office culture that is aware of this one man's behavior but doesn't see it as a problem. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 28, 2013 - 22 answers

Pranks for nothing: anonymous, international version.

For the last day, my phone has been targeted by the "have two random cellphones call each other simultaneously and see what happens when someone picks up" prank, similar to what is available through websites I won't advertise here. (Google, "have two phones call each other prank." Yes, I looked up the 4 I could find, and registered on all of them to have my number blocked....it's still happening.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 21, 2013 - 6 answers

How to deal with harassment via iMessage?

Several people unknown to me (teenage girls, based on the content) have been group-texting me, an adult man, via iMessage sporadically over the past few months despite repeated explicit demands from me that they stop. How do I deal with this? At first it was just annoying but I am getting quite concerned. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2013 - 21 answers

It'd be improper to tell him his joke made me suicidal, I guess.

I keep finding myself in a peculiar and incredibly disheartening group social dynamic. I need practical guidance on how to "fix" the latest one, and maybe some suggestions on how to head these things off before we get to Suicidal Ideation pass. [more inside]
posted by Fee Phi Faux Phumb I Smell t'Socks o' a Puppetman! on Jun 22, 2013 - 58 answers

Help me out. I think I've been harassed and I don't know what to do.

So I need some sound advice. I think I was harassed a number of months ago at a local YMCA by another member. I decided to file this complaint internally, and now I'm worried I'm being stonewalled. Normally I would let something like this slide, but I've decided to take up this cause because I think it's the honorable thing to do. If only because I am inspired by the anti-bullying movement. Do I have legal options? Can somebody with any experience or strength with this sort of thing help me figure out what exactly happened to me, and share what they did in a similar situation? Details within. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 1, 2013 - 32 answers

Either the government or the movies are calling.

For the last four months, I've been getting anywhere between 3 and 60 calls per day on my cell phone from (555) 555-5555, at all hours. If I pick up, it's a recorded voice, somewhere between a computer and a british lady saying "one... one... one..." What the hell is going on, and how do I make it stop? [more inside]
posted by Jon_Evil on Jan 23, 2013 - 13 answers

How to stop my colleague undermining me at work?

At work, my slightly-more-experienced colleague makes a habit of saying subtle and/or ambigious cricitisms, disguised as innocent remarks. I spoke to management about it recently but they couldn't see the problem. How should I deal with a work colleague who tries to undermine me and make me look bad, but who is subtle enough not to get caught? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 19, 2012 - 27 answers

Harassed at work?

How to sort out my feelings and figure out next steps after a disturbing incident? [more inside]
posted by altopower on Oct 26, 2012 - 58 answers

Stalking is so 1975

How to handle weird notes from apartment neighbor [more inside]
posted by cartoonella on Sep 4, 2012 - 68 answers

Professor Creepy Comes to Town

Former professor made a pass at me. This was upsetting because I consider him a mentor and didn't think he had those kind of motivations towards me. Now he is in town and wants to take me out. What should I say? [more inside]
posted by idle on Aug 17, 2012 - 59 answers

I've never met you, this is crazy. What's your number? Don't call me, maybe?

What's up with 774-8283? This appears to be a spoofed phone number calling to harass people at random. How are they doing this, and what can be done about it? Question about American phone calls, probably won't apply internationally. [more inside]
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis on Jun 7, 2012 - 5 answers

Don't Have a Man, Don't Need One, Thanks.....

I get hit on a lot at work. It's not flattering at all. I find it very embarrassing and demoralizing. I don't know how to cope. [more inside]
posted by chara on Jun 4, 2012 - 62 answers

A thousand Silkwood showers would not be enough.

A married coworker made a pass at me - help me stop feeling like I need to peel all my skin off. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 2, 2012 - 38 answers

How can I help my partner feel better after a random assault?

Some random jerk threatened my partner in public a few days ago and he's still pretty shaken, and can't stop thinking about it. What resources can I offer to help him cope? [more inside]
posted by rhiannonstone on May 29, 2012 - 18 answers

Bad Neighbor!

Neighbor is using an ultra-high-frequency device against us at very high decibels. It causes constant low-grade nausea and a long-lasting ringing in the ears afterwards. Problem is, it can't really be heard because its such a high-frequency. Cops have come to our house, felt the nausea and ear-ringing themselves, but refuse to do anything about it because they can't "hear" it and we have no way of recording it. My question is: Can you point me towards a device that can record high decibel sound in very high frequencies so we can show objectively that this is happening? [more inside]
posted by captain cosine on May 28, 2012 - 51 answers

Harmless glance or red flag?

My sister received a dream job offer but for one thing - the man who will be her direct supervisor was definitely looking at her boobs both times she went into the office for the interviews. [more inside]
posted by pluot on May 21, 2012 - 33 answers

Am I being overly sensitive about an ex visiting my blog?

Someone I dated years ago obsessively visits my blogs and leaves messages. The messages aren't threatening, but they're starting to annoy me. Can I do anything about it? Should I? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2012 - 23 answers

Harassed-- person will not accept any kind of response.

What can you do in this situation? I'm tired of getting harassed and tired of seeing my boyfriend get harassed. Can I file a no-contact order? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 2, 2012 - 10 answers

Help my family get protection from an unwell, potentially violent woman.

How can I arrange action to be taken against a mentally ill woman who is harassing my family? [more inside]
posted by v.barboni on Feb 28, 2012 - 6 answers

How to stop people hassling street kiosk workers

My friends' street kiosk: They are suffering bullying by drunkards and feral 14 year olds. Suggestions for how to deal? [more inside]
posted by yoHighness on Jan 17, 2012 - 28 answers

Requesting advice from sensible people: how to navigate sensitive dramatic issue

I had an abortion years ago. Now, years later, I am being accused of "faking" the abortion, and am being harassed via social media sites. Help me figure out how to navigate this situation with dignity and class. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 13, 2011 - 57 answers

Should I file a restraining order against my ex?

Considering a restraining order against an ex, but I have a lot of questions about the logistics and just generally whether it's going to make the situation better or worse. For example, I don't think he knows where I live- so how would it even work? Many more questions inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 26, 2011 - 23 answers

Don't You Touch Me

I've been sexually assaulted and heavily/distressingly harassed by a number of different men throughout my life already. Now I'm trying to break it off with a close friend because I feel like I "need a break" from even being close to men and he won't stop even mildly pushing at this. [more inside]
posted by DisreputableDog on Nov 19, 2011 - 24 answers

Statistics regarding acts of vengence against women if they fight back against harassment?

Does anyone know of statistics or studies regarding repercussions to women as a result of filing sexual harassment charges, or otherwise fighting back against daily harassment (cat calling, etc)? In the US, but interested in any data.
posted by korej on Nov 15, 2011 - 5 answers

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