I'm struggling with a lack of self-confidence and undercurrent of doubt, and hoping that I might be able to shift my attention more towards what I hope for the future than what I fear from it. What are some simple techniques that I can use to gradually move the spotlight over to the positive? Looking for very concrete exercises or practices.
Something like: “start each morning writing a vision of what you want.” Would that actually work? I'd think it might just freak me out more, make me feel guilty that I'm not there yet. But something concrete like that.
Thanks. [more inside]
posted by Calicatt
on Oct 4, 2013 -
Keeping myself happy: How do I maintain the mindset that it's for me and not to find a partner? [more inside]
posted by Autumn
on Sep 1, 2013 -
My husband and I are dying to move to another province where we have tons of family. People are much more laid back there; they know how to have fun without spending a lot of money. They enjoy each other's company, chat with strangers, tell great stories and place a lot less value on money. It's a beautiful province with lakes and tons of beach access. Houses have decks and fireplaces. To me, it's paradise. The family component is wonderful for my daughter.
The problem is that in our home province, we make crap-tons of money. Moving to the other province could mean as much as a $50,000 pay cut. We've decided to stay here another 2 years to build up some super-savings.
My question is: What can we do to make our lives here more bearable until we are ready to move? If worthwhile, I could spend up to $500 a month on any changes. [more inside]
posted by kitcat
on Aug 19, 2013 -
I recently listened to The Happiness Project and started reading the blog
. I have enjoyed this and found it insightful, so I'm looking for more resources like this. I'm currently listening to The Happiness Hypothesis
. Basically, I'm looking for information (with or without personal anecdotes) on possible means of achieving a happier, more balanced and enjoyable life that might not otherwise be obvious.
posted by wansac
on Aug 18, 2013 -
What kinds of lawyers are happiest? Personality types, practice areas, employer types -- or any other relevant factors. Anecdotal evidence welcome, although certainly non-anecdotal information would be great, too. [more inside]
posted by J. Wilson
on Jul 18, 2013 -
I saw the coolest little foursquare toy, kind of a portable mini-court, yesterday at the park. I wish I'd stopped and talked to the guys playing with it, but I thought I could find it pretty easily... but not so.
So there's a little trampoline, I guess that's about two feet square, with a circular wall around it divided into four sections. They had a ball smaller than a kickball but bigger than a tennis ball, and if they hit it on the trampoline and it went between one person's section of the bordering wall, then it was like it had hit their square.
Does anybody know what this? I must have one. Immediately.
posted by dubadubowbow
on Jun 16, 2013 -
I'm trying to train myself to find more joy in creative pursuits, and I think a key would be in becoming more about the process and less about "success." Any advice on how to rewire my brain to this end?
posted by malhouse
on Jun 4, 2013 -
I need help constructing mental snowshoes that will prevent me from falling into deep drifts of work BS and frustration at a job I can't leave. [more inside]
posted by lastwomanstanding
on May 21, 2013 -
Help me find books that are as happy, joyful and well-written as Silas Marner!
Last time I visited my grandmother I gave her my copy of Silas Marner. She loved the book so much she read it three times in a row within two days… She told me it brought her "an unexpected deep and quiet sense of joy"… Because she's pretty sad and depressed right now I'd love to find other books that might lighten her long and lonely days! Can you help me? :) [more inside]
posted by mugitusqueboom
on Apr 22, 2013 -
I want to be a healthy, fit person, and I want my partner to want that, too. What's the selling point? How can I convince my SO to make this change with me and notice how our generally very sedentary life is sucking the life out of our relationship? Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Apr 16, 2013 -
How to work with employees who don't like what you're doing, but won't work towards making things better? Specifically vocally negative long-term employees who think they know it all, but refuse to share their wisdom beyond flat-out complaints because it's "not their job"? [more inside]
posted by tzb
on Apr 4, 2013 -
I've become an unhappy Grumpy person. I would love some suggestions on positive music and notebooks, calendars which have inspiration positive quotes ? I just need some motivation in times of stress. Some blogs on positive thinking would also be useful.
Thanks to all!
posted by happiness01
on Mar 17, 2013 -
Our year-and-a-half old cat hates being touched. He's incredibly aggressive towards anyone except me and my wife (and sometimes towards us too). We've yet to find a toy that holds his attention. What would make him happy? [more inside]
posted by and so but then, we
on Jan 26, 2013 -
2013 will be our year! ...But how?
Have you had a storybook year or season at work or school or in a club? Something that felt like a Lifetime movie, making it to regionals for the first time for choir, or smashing your sales goal for the quarter, or collecting a ton of stuff for your canned food drive?
I am trying to figure out what factors influence extraordinary success in a team setting. [more inside]
posted by estlin
on Dec 31, 2012 -
I work in IT and am 32. I've recently left my job of 11 years for a 10K pay increase and to try to advance my career. I really didn't want to do it because I was comfortable and happy where I was in the old job. I'm an ISTJ (introvert) and my nature is to not make big changes in my life. I worry about not having a clear path in my life. Ive been at the new job for 2 months now and It's been up and down but i'm definitely not as happy as I was at the old job. [more inside]
posted by qxmbati
on Dec 2, 2012 -
Books/advice on how to let go of perfection and be happy with where you are? [more inside]
posted by mcav
on Aug 20, 2012 -
As a recent graduate, how can I engineer my life to maximize happiness, financial security, and independence (in that order)? What choices did you make that led to suboptimal outcomes in these areas, and what would you do differently given another chance? [more inside]
posted by ecmendenhall
on Jul 2, 2012 -
Does anyone know the source of this parable? I am using it and want to quote a source if I can find one!
Once an enlightened master was asked by his disciples, “Master, it is so easy to reach God’s Love and, consequently, happiness. Why then are people so unhappy?”
To this the master answered, “Nobody wants it.”
But having seen that the disciples did not understand him, he sent them to inquire of people what they wanted.
When they came back, they said that they had encountered many people from various classes in life. And none of them had said that they wanted be happy and to reach God’s love. They all answered that they wanted to buy a new house, to attain a high position, to earn lots of money, to have many children, to become more spiritual and moral...
posted by joshfeingold
on Jun 7, 2012 -
For practically everyone I know, myself included, their 20s contained the best times of their lives and many experiences that likely will not be repeated or enjoyed as thoroughly as they get older. What is the secret for me - or anyone else - to recapture the magic of youth as life goes on and responsibilities grow? More details, including snowflakes, inside. [more inside]
posted by st starseed
on Apr 2, 2012 -
Help me understand why this is not getting any better. Someone has given me nothing but signs that he thinks I'm incompetent. Then came an outstanding positive review. Yet I'm still not any happier nor do I care anymore to improve the relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Dec 21, 2011 -
Would I know if this is as good as it gets? I know I've got it pretty good, better than most I bet...but I feel a little, I don't know, perhaps unsettled. But maybe that isn't even the right way to describe it - physically it's more liked stressed with a side order of tired. How do you know when you're at the top of your game and when you are in the place that is best for you and your family? [more inside]
posted by YukonQuirm
on Dec 13, 2011 -
I feel like I just have moment-to-moment mindsets; that I have no underlying unitary will. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Oct 2, 2011 -
I'm looking for fiction that is short(ish) and has happiness as a theme. By happiness, I mean any of the following: factors influencing happiness, someone gaining/losing happiness, pondering the meaning of happiness, money causing/preventing happiness, thinking something will make you happier and it does or doesn't, etc. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by guster4lovers
on Aug 19, 2011 -
does it really get better? i'm a 40 year old single woman.
i have just gotten out of the arguably the worst relationship of my life (with some equivalent badness from my late teenage years, but isn't that the point of late teenage years). you can see my posts here
I clearly have some issues to sort out and need to spend some time recovering from the chaos and i'm working on that in all the various ways (meditation, exercise, long walks, trying to eat right, time with loved ones, etc.)
so hive mind, what i really need right now is some hope. please tell me your tales of 40+ happiness- romantic and otherwise.
posted by memi
on Jul 1, 2011 -
From the article in this post
: "...there actually is some pretty good research on how to become happier and how to overcome personal difficulties that can be done relatively simply but which the self-help industry ignores."
Well, I'm game. What simple, scientifically validated ways exist to become happier and overcome difficulties? [more inside]
posted by jsturgill
on Jun 15, 2011 -
Lately, I've been enjoying myself more. I go out to concerts, I eat in restaurants, I buy books from Amazon, I buy fruit juice and cake and cool ingredients to make delicious food. All this is a welcome turnaround from the days when I would spend hours indoors feeling miserable. But the result is that I'm burning through money like there's no tomorrow. [more inside]
posted by Acheman
on Apr 21, 2011 -
I'm looking for typical "what is most important to people" survey results (preferably with percentages or graphs to use). You know, as in, family, career, hobbies, helping others... [more inside]
posted by ClarissaWAM
on Dec 25, 2010 -
I've come to the conclusion that the root of unhappiness/strife, etc. is what goes on inside my own noodle. In addition to meditation (and, with apologies, excluding western religion) how to tame The Monkey Mind?
How to better control the quality of one's thoughts?
posted by gb77
on Dec 16, 2010 -
Please give me some external validation that my supervisor's need for reassurance is really not ok, and advise on how to disguise my extreme discomfort. [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Dec 15, 2010 -
I'm starting a new job and my previous job has a terrible, toxic work environment. I tried to avoid getting infected, but it has effected me and I need help re-programming myself to be a happy, healthy, positive, collaborative co-worker. [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Oct 18, 2010 -
I spend Sundays "mentally preparing" for work on Monday instead of enjoying myself. How can I change this? [more inside]
posted by jacobjacobs
on Sep 26, 2010 -
Was there ever a study that suggested that children become more successful / independent / happy / etc. when they're allowed to choose their own outfits from an early age? [more inside]
posted by rouftop
on Aug 30, 2010 -
How can I become a responsible adult without getting my dreams lost in the process? Can they be one and the same? [more inside]
posted by vienaragis
on Aug 19, 2010 -
Because of the death of my mother just before finals I have an extension on three essays from one class-- that I've put off the entire summer. Should I brace myself and write them, or do I tell the professor that I just want the last semester to disappear even if I receive an F grade? [more inside]
posted by SallySpades
on Aug 16, 2010 -