Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with habit

Do people really change?

elektrotechnicus — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 22:01:56 -0800

I'm looking for figures on will-power. How many people who try to lose weight, quit smoking, kick an addiction, start exercising, etc. will be successful (particularly long term)? In other words, I'm looking for experimental or population studies on how often people are able to change their behavior in significant ways when they resolve to do so. Well supported anecdotal data about large groups ("vietnam vets were(n't) largely able to quit heroin on coming home") is only slightly less appreciated.

An app to track completions?

phritosan — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:37:17 -0800

An app for that? I want to give my iPhone a list of things I want to collect data on. "How many of the last n days have I completed x" is exactly want I want to know. It's not a goal, it's not a habit, I'm not trying to hit a target weight, and I'm not trying to quit smoking. Touch Goal is close to what I want, but it has a horrible interface.

GoalKeep is close to what I want, but I don't want to drop $4 if there is a better choice that gets it all correct. The calendar with check marks is a step up from Touch Goal, but I cannot track that I did something more than once in a day like Touch Goal does.

Habit Factor and HabitCheck are not what I want. I don't want it to hold my hand, I don't want encouragement, I don't need quotes.

I have a to-do app that I'm happy with. I don't want a list app with check boxes I clear each day. I have a calendar program I'm happy with.

I want to track data.

Finger Pain & Nail Biting

Draccy — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:43:33 -0800

Fingernail Filter: I know its been asked many times how to quit this compulsion. While that is a concern of mine, I need to know what to do to alleviate pain in the fingers from excessive fingernail biting. What do you recommend? I've heard people say that chewing fingernails is a bad habit, and can be stopped with strong will. I don't subscribe to that, in that I've tried so hard to stop. When I'm in the car during my hour commute, I can't help but chew. I do it beyond the point of pain, and continue. I have horrible nails, and the skin under them is torn up and bloody. I've tried clipping my nails so close down, and it makes no difference. I've tried the bad tasting fingernail polish and found it didn't deter me.

I've got so much pain in my fingertips today because I bit them way down. How can I relive the pain?

Also, what extreme remedies can you recommend for stopping this horrible compulsion?

building a life

diode — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 06:51:55 -0800

I'm looking for ways to change my behavior. It's important for various reasons that I start reinforcing some behaviors and stopping others. I'm a procrastinator for one, and tend to start projects and not finish them for another. Is there a research backed methodology for doing so? I'm really needing to change my behavior patterns that will get me on a better track towards success. I tend to avoid things that will take effort and just stay on the easy, habitual routine. Ultimately this is working to my detriment in the short and long term.

I studied a program by a company called Sybervision that theoretically had discovered a research-based way to reinforce positive behavior that underlie success. It was based on cueing parts of the brain in order to create powerful images, sounds, and feelings of success plus one would imagine a hero figure associated with a positive behavior doing battle with a negative figure associated with a negative trait. The hero would win and you would associate yourself with the hero figure.

Ultimately I didn't see any major changes using this program for the period I was using it. There's all sorts of stuff out there like NLP, subliminals, hypnosis, affirmations and what have you that I don't think does a heck of a lot.

Given how important it is for people to change their behavior successfully or to reinforce positive traits and actions, you'd think there'd be more research around it. Perhaps there is and I don't know of it.

So, are there any new techniques of building and reinforcing behavior that are based on research?

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

spamguy — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 14:55:29 -0800

What can I do to stop/discourage my habit of pulling out facial hair? I am clean-shaven, but from the second the razor leaves my face in the morning, my hand starts wandering around the neck-chin-jaw-lip-unibrow area feeling for stubble. If I find any, I yank it. As the day wears on and the stubble grows, I spend ridiculous amounts of my waking hours pulling hairs. It happens basically any time I have idle hands. By the end of the day I have countless bits of 1cm-long microbeardage on my shirt. That's the least of my problems: it's caused folliculitis under the chin before, and probably light scarring.

Interestingly, if I let it grow for a few days into a pseudobeard, I stop pulling. But beards are greasy and hurt my skin.

The phenom is called trichotillomania, and it's been covered before on Ask MeFi. None of the prior questions fit my situation: I don't have a beard, so shaving it off isn't a solution. I don't pull head hair.

I'm convinced that this can be a breakable habit, related as it may be to OCD. What have other Mefis done to stop this? I'm not looking for moral support; the Internet is full of that.

sick of the highs and the lows

Juliet Banana — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 15:05:09 -0800

I have Tourette Syndrome, and I can't stop jumping up and down. Help me rewire my defective brain to channel this activity into something less destructive. I have moderate Tourette Syndrome. I have the whole gamut of symptoms, coprolalia, echolalia, twitching, blurting out my thoughts, and touching/tapping/hitting things. My symptoms have calmed down a lot from when I was first diagnosed with severe TS as a teen, as Tourette tends to mellow out in adulthood, partially due to better ability of the sufferer to identify the "oncoming urge" and control it. I can hold down a job. I'm happy. I don't have to explain it to every single person I meet. The people I've lived with get used to it, and I barely think about it most of the time.

However, I can't ignore this one particular tic and pretend it's not hurting me anymore. Between 3-10 times every day, I stand up and wander around my house, and invariably start hopping up and down as if I was on a trampoline. I've knocked over pots of ink and dishes of coins. It's probably not the best stress to put my second-story floorboards under. I've usually just worked a full shift in heels and then walked two miles home and the last thing my legs need is to hop around like a bunny. I'm sick of it, and I want to stop.

I need help finding an alternative activity that won't knock over my possessions and hurt my legs. I have all this excess energy, and I need some way to burn it. I know most of the people reading this don't have TS, so please bear with me while I describe what it feels like to have a tic.

The (very) basic neurological mechanics of Tourette Syndrome is that the brain produces an excess of dopamine and/or has difficulty regulating it. In a normal brain, you think, "I'd like to pick up that apple," and your brain shoots off a paltry little dose of dopamine that has a message attached to it: "Raise arm, close fist, lift apple." If you have TS, it's like having a defective firehose for dopamine receptors. My brain randomly shoots off large doses of dopamine with absolutely no message attached,and my body picks the easiest way to burn it off, something completely random, or an action I've performed many times before, or saying a word from my ever-changing-lexicon of swears and nonsense.

Over the years, I've gotten better at feeling the burst of dopamine before I perform the action, but I don't always. Have you ever absent-mindedly grabbed the handle of a blazing hot pan on your stovetop? Before you had time to think "this is hot" or "that was stupid" or "I need to move my hand," you jerked your hand away, instantaneously, without thought. That is how it is possible for someone with TS to perform an action without being fully aware that they are doing it. Half the time I don't know what word is coming out of my mouth until I hear it.

You've probably also experienced how the burst of dopamine feels. The absolute best way for me to describe it is "shuddering revulsion." Have you ever been walking along the sidewalk, and out of the corner of your eye you realize you are about to plant your Converse directly into the rotting corpse of an unfortunate cat or squirrel? Chances are you staggered backwards, your skin crawling, your heart racing. Chances are your thought process was not very long or complicated, just "get the hell away." That is how the "oncoming urge" feels: restless, twitchy, shivery, every nerve alive and blazing and alert, uncomfortable, breath sped up, heart rate up.

The oncoming urge differs from tic to tic. Sometimes I don't feel it at all and a word just slips out of my mouth. Sometimes I can feel it coming quite distinctly, and I'm able to CHOOSE how I want to use up the energy, usually something non-offensive and easy like tapping my fingers on a tabletop. And sometimes, instead of an all-at-once huge burst of dopamine, there's a slow, steady, restless stream of excess energy.

The jumping up and down is a slow and steady tic. I have ALWAYS had some form of these tics, that are much more physically involved and prolonged than your average tic. When I lived in sunny California, I used to burst out my front door barefoot and run around and around my block until, panting and sweaty, it wore off. Now that I live in a city where shoes and jackets and locking the door is required, I've outgrown the need to go outside. I need immediate gratification in the form of physical activity before the need is satiated and the creepy restless feeling wears off.

It starts with me sitting, normally. I start feeling restless, and I think, it would be nice to get up, and walk around. I've tried just staying put, but I just get more restless and antsy and fidgety and anxious and it's torturous, so I give up. As I'm wandering from room to room, without thinking, I start jumping up and down. Most of the time I don't realize I'm doing it.

There are a few ways I've been able to stop or prevent it. I'm looking for more. If i can identify the oncoming urge, I can channel the energy into something less hurtful (I used to smack my fist really hard onto tabletops until I learned to just tap until the urge went away). If I'm in a job interview or something, I might be able to stop them outright, or do something that normal people do (throat clearing, head shaking). But deciding to not have TS anymore is like deciding you're never going to urinate again. You might make it a few hours, but eventually you're going to think "why am I torturing myself" and give in, or just forget. I can't simply will myself to stop having tics, but I can possibly train myself to have a DIFFERENT slow and steady, involved, prolonged physical tic besides jumping up and down.

Things I have done that have helped:

+Trying to burn the phrase "JUMPING IS BAD" into my brain so that when I'm mindlessly hopping up and down my rational, concious brain can butt into my blank thoughts and say "JUMPING IS BAD, CUT IT OUT, STOP." And I do. The problem is, I don't even realize what I doing when I start jumping, so it takes a while for me to realize I'm doing it, much less that it a bad thing.

+Smoking. Nicotine has been proven to help control tics, and the "going outside" requirement fulfills a need in me. I've actually started running/hopping with a cigarette in my hand before and given up after about 5 seconds; smoking calms me down a lot, and smokers aren't exactly known for their physical prowess. The cons should be obvious; Tourette won't kill me, smoking will.

+Being quite tired. I've gotten the "hey, you should go walk around!" urge while climbing into bed exhausted before, and was able to resist it because the absolute last thing I wanted to do right then was get up and jump around.

+Identifying the oncoming urge, and saying "I'm going to go walk around. That's all I am going to do." As I walk around I try to remain very concious of the fact that I am just walking, that's it, no jumping allowed.

Things that probably won't help:

+Medication. The side effects are not worth the benefits for me. I'd rather hop like the Easter Bunny than vomit everything I eat, or lose control of the muscles in my hands, or pass out a half hour after taking my pills. Tried it and hated it.

+Nicotine patches. They're too expensive OTC, I don't have health insurance, they're generally only used as medication in people with more severe TS than I currently have. I'm worried that the dosages meant for quitting smokers would be too strong for someone who only smokes occassionally.

Things that might help (please add to this list!)

+More exercise. As mentioned, these urges come even when I am very tired, or my legs hurt; I am only able to resist them if absolutely knackered. The problem isn't that I'm naturally a very active, energetic person; the problem is that I have Tourette, and I would continue to have it even if I ran a marathon. However, if these urges came after I had worked out for the day, I might be able to tell my brain "I'm exhausted, fuck off" or "I already did that today at the gym, I'm done for the day." Part of my need is ritual fulfiillment, but I also need something that can be done anytime, anywhere, when the urge strikes me. I already walk everywhere, though; I'm a little worried I just might be piling onto my soreness.

+Posting a big poster in every room that says "JUMPING IS BAD" to help me be more mindful and stop sooner.

+Deciding on another, similar, safer ritual/activity. I need ideas for this; it has to be able to be done indoors in a small space, with no prep.

How do we get the dog off our bed at night?

birdlips — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 10:13:33 -0800

Dogfilter: We need help training our dog to sleep in her kennel and not in our bed. How can we do this? Without going into too much detail, my wife and I lost our baby at 5 months and I got a dog for her to help her cope and funnel her parental energy. The dog quickly became our little baby and slept in our bed from the beginning.

I am allergic to dogs (although not badly) and I use an air filter at night that has worked well enough to control my congestion.

Our dog is a Karen Terrier, is about 12 pounds, has hair not fur, and is female.

We now want to get the dog sleeping in her kennel or on the floor at night because she is getting too big and my allergies are starting to over power the air filter. Here is where I need your help. We have tried several times to put her in the kennel, however, she cries and barks until we take her out. We have tried leaving her in there for hours and she continues to cry and bark the entire time. Obviously this keeps us up at night so we end up bringing her back in the bed. I know the dog has figured out that through crying she will eventually make it back to the room.

We know this is our fault and we trained the dog to be in our bed but we really need to know how can we break this habit. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

How do I stop compulsively pulling my beard hair?

JacksonEsquire — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 10:39:13 -0800

I've always had a problem with pulling my beard hair out similar to other people's problems with biting their fingernails. This sort of behavior also runs in my family. What can I do to stop? Almost since I've been able to grow facial hair, I've had a problem with pulling it out. I tend to do it in small areas until it's almost completely bald, and then move onto another small area. From what I've heard, my habit is similar to fingernail biting. A few things/quirks about it:

1. It runs in my family. My oldest sister has a problem with pulling out her head hair, and my middle sister has a problem with pulling out her eyelashes. I asked my parents about it and supposed my father used to pull out his mustache hair, but just grew out of the habit.

2. I tend to have the biggest problem of it when I'm idle. For example, It's especially bad at work (I'm an engineer, mostly in the office) while my mind is working but my hands are free. Both my sister's pulling habits are related to stress and anxiety, but I don't think my habit is. The only common exception is when I get stressed out while driving.

3. I'm completely oblivious about it while I'm doing it. All of a sudden I will snap out of "the zone" and realize there's a pile of beard hairs on my shirt.

I've tried just keeping my hands busy, but since it's an unconscious thing, I'll unknowingly stop what I was doing and start pulling it. Also, I've gone beardless a couple times (for a week or two) in the past few years, and during that time, I didn't do anything to "replace" the beard-pulling habit (such as pulling on other hair).

I know that I could see someone about it, but I'd rather avoid spending the time/money on what is essentially a cosmetic issue. My oldest sister's habit got better when she saw a psychiatrist about her high anxiety and almost bipolar-like behavior. However, like I said, I don't think my habit is linked to anxiety.

Is there anything I can try to help curtail it? Is it common for it to run in the family? Why do I do it in the first place?

Starting Good Work Habits

sfkiddo — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:53:09 -0800

I'm starting a new job soon. What are some good habits to incorporate from day one? I want to take the opportunity to start things right. Some things I'm thinking of:

1. Some type of GTD system. I've used GTD before--a modified version, I can never go as far as I could--and have fallen off the GTD wagon once things get cluttered, so I definitely want to start this day one. I plan to use the Outlook GTD toolbar and also using some type of paper system (I saw one about dividing up a Moleskine but unfortunately didn't save the link. This GTDTiddlyWiki also looks interesting; anyone ever use it?).
2. New Moleskine for work notes.
3. Send a progress report to manager every Friday (this is also good for salary reviews).
4. [Insert Mefites brilliant ideas here.]

Also, after 5+ years of telecommuting, I will actually be going to an office (gasp!). So any and all advice on good morning routines/habits is greatly appreciated. The only one I've started is cleaning my sink every night (a la FlyLady) because it really makes a difference in my morning mood (which is generally dreadful).

Nun in a baseball cap instead of a habit?

PinkStainlessTail — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 14:00:37 -0800

I have a very strong image in my head of a nun who, instead of the traditional habit, is wearing a baseball cap of sorts. Where did I see this? The cap has a flap on the back, sort of like a French Foreign legion cap but longer. The cap may have been white on the front, possibly with an embroidered cross, while the back of the cap, including the flap, was black.

I'm almost certain I saw this on a TV show in the 80s (Sledge Hammer! maybe?), but it's possible it was in a movie, a dream, or just maybe real life. Does the above description sound familiar to anyone?

What makes your todo list work for you?

the giant pill — Sun, 18 Jun 2006 16:19:00 -0800

What makes your todo list work for you? I don't care if it's digital or on papter, I want to know how you got in the habit of using a todo list everyday.

How do I stop the habit of walking around the house when thinking something or having my lunch or dinner ?

inquisitive — Thu, 02 Feb 2006 04:43:05 -0800

I have a habit of walking to and fro from one room of my house to another, whenever I am thinking something, or even when I am having my lunch or dinner ? I am aware this is not a good habit, as I waste valuable calories in the process (I am a thin person by the way). How do I get rid of this habit ? Please give some innovative ideas. Has anyone else suffered from the same habit ? Basically I am quite a restless person. This habit looks quite odd in front of guests.

I like juice

bigmusic — Fri, 06 Jan 2006 15:00:35 -0800

Bottled juice is making me poor. Odwalla and Naked Juice are taking my money faster then smoking did. Is making your own juices cheaper? as good quality?

internet download monitor?

pipstar — Thu, 16 Jun 2005 17:23:24 -0800

I keep on getting in trouble for going over my daily download limit at work. Can anyone recommend an app which will track how much bandwidth i'm using throughout the day? (for Win XP) I've looked on the 43folders wiki which has great suggestions about habit breaking, but alongside changing my behaviour I'd really like something that tells me how much I've downloaded.

Quitting Smoking

contessa — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 13:30:04 -0800

I'm finally doing it. I'm quitting smoking - yay me! Anybody who has done this (and succeeded) - how did you get over the rough patches when the urge to light up was almost too powerful to ignore? I'm quitting for several reasons, number one being my health. I'm also just plain sick of it. I've been smoking a loooong time. I'm in the process of stepping down my intake. I gave myself a week to go from 1 pack per day to zero. At the end of the week, no more. Each day my goal is to eliminate another "cig-trigger" - for example, on Day 1, I quit smoking in the car. Day 2, no smoking after sunset (I seem to smoke a lot more at night than in the day). I'm on Day 3, and that was no smoking within an hour (before or after) a meal. I'm actually making quite a bit of progress and sticking to my plan. I think I can do this!

I'm trying to quit without gum, patches or drugs, or any other type of substitute. I'm really mentally ready and willing to quit smoking - at this point in my life it seems less about nicotine addiction than a pattern of smoking-related habits that I've developed over the years. That's why my self-imposed program is focused on shedding those habits, one by one. At this point (early in, admittedly) the only thing I've not had to deal with which usually sends me reaching for the pack is high stress or upset. I'm hoping for a stress-free week, but in case fate wants to test me, does anybody have any tips on how you dealt with stress while simultaneously quitting smoking? That's the main one I'm afraid I'll mess up on. Any other quit-smoking tips would be appreciated, also.

Can a mid 30's person to change their life habits?

jeremias — Sat, 09 Oct 2004 10:42:03 -0800

Is it possible for a mid 30's person to change their life habits? Even more specificially, can a lifetime of disorganization be turned around into one of organization? (MI) When I say disorganization, I mean "basic" like creating a filing system for bills, knowing where to place dishes/kitchen stuff, etc. You know they don't teach this stuff in school, and if your parental models weren't ideal then how do you break out of it?

Is there a term for unbidden standard thoughts? Can I train myself to stop thinking them?

jack_mo — Mon, 15 Dec 2003 14:20:12 -0800

When I perform some everyday tasks, or walk past certain locations, I think the exact same things every time. It isn't just me, is it? Is there a term for these unbidden little standard thoughts, and can I train myself to stop thinking them? [examples inside] For example: every time I walk past the local bakers, my mind recites verbatim a conversation I had with the woman behind the counter on the day Labour won the 1997 general election. Every time I make toast, I use a special buttering method (!) taught to me by my Grandad, and my mind first repeats the time I was taught, then the time I told a friend about it sometime in 1996, and then - for a touch of meta-whatever - I always think about why I'm thinking about all this yet again in exactly the same terms as when I first noticed the phenomenon.