Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with guys

Guys outdoing the girls - Single Ladies Dance Remix

anonaccount — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 10:36:03 -0800

I saw a video of a bunch of stylish black dudes dancing to "Single Ladies", and doing a damn good job of it. Help me find it again! I'm not sure where I saw it, but google is failing me today.

It was basically a bunch of stylish black guys (in hats?) doing a perfect recreation of Single Ladies, and possibly dancing better that Beyonce herself. I think it was in a dance studio, or on a similar grey/white background to the original - not filmed in someone's front room.

Where the hell has this video gone?!

How does quiet nerd girl attract type of man she wants?

Dukat — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 14:36:43 -0800

22-year old relationship-newbie nerd girl seeks strong, silent men. Is it possible? In which context? Anything to do to better my chances? Hi AskMeFi.

My question is something along the lines of this poster, but with one crucial difference: while the poster was a girly-girl, I am way on the other side of the spectrum: a bit edgy and not overly feminine. I've been the perpetual "brain" my entire life, and throughout high school and college have struggled to reconcile being the "smart one" who was different from all the other decked-out girls and being a girl, capable of attracting males.

I'm 22 and have never been in a decent, real relationship. I've had the odd, awkward "serious-friends-hanging-out" platonic relationships with the philospher types of guys, to whom I was initially very attracted to intellectually. But these odd relationships never went anywhere for lots of reasons: they were all much more "thinkers" than "doers," spending lots of time talking about something and never doing anything, forcing me to decide our agendas time and time again, never taking any real intiative.

As a result of failed "not-relationships," I've decided that I really would prefer a more decisive man in my life. To be honest, I attended a geek high school and a geek liberal arts university, so have had little exposure to stronger, aggressive men. Would a stronger, aggressive man be attracted to a less feminine, brainaic girl? I am growing increasingly weary of seeing men flock to girls with too much eye makeup clutching gigantic Coach purses while gabbing about Gossip Girls.

So my questions, I think, are as follows. Please feel free to comment/remark upon any aspect of my situation that strikes you.

(1) Is there hope in love for girls like me? I'm quiet, but I dress decently (I always attempt to have a bit of style and look groomed and put together, but not to Bratz doll extent), am a good weight/figure. But apparently I am missing this chip which Bratz girls have, of going ga-ga over shoes, etc.
(2) Is there a "type" that would mesh well with me? How do I get guys of all stripes to be interested? I am comfortable talking to men, but only as people, and not as "potential date material." Also, on topics that bore me, I have a hard time finding things to say. Is there a "type" that is OK with the quiet type? Would the edgier, aggressive men be attracted to me? The only ones who have really persued me are the smart guys, but they are all so geeky and weak (see above: ask me out on a date, declare romantic intentions, and then ask where I want to go, and refuse to pick a place, and barely pick up the check). My father is assertive: it's how I expect men to behave. But it's like I'm a beehive which makes honey that atttacts specifically the geeks. (Strange metaphor, but it works, I think.)

(3) How to attract strong, assertive, protective type? Where do they hang out? To what do they respond, in particular?

I am not suggesting I morph my personality. I have tried the extroversion route, dressing up a little more, and it failed to attract better-quality men entirely. It's just not me. I'm entirely too practical a person, and quiet enough by nature that extroversion is simply exhausting. I am only asking, is there some aspect of my present personality which I can take more care to display, to attract the men I want?

Thank you in advance for your help. As I said, all comments and suggestions are welcome. You needn't specifically answer my questions.

Almost 29 and eternally single, HELP!

learninguntilidie — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 00:13:51 -0800

I turn 29 in a couple weeks and would like to be in a relationship. What can I do differently? I've done a lot to improve myself over the last couple years: I workout regularly, (i'm a pretty muscular dude now), I'm much more assertive with women without being overbearing (which is difficult cause i'm a sensitive d00d), and I have worked on improving the inner me: ie more self-assured, more chill, etc,.

My problem is I've gone on lots of dates but can't get the women to be really interested in being 'with me'. Or they might initially be interested in me but after hanging out (lets say with a bunch of friends) when i try to ask her on a date she gets flaky, and 9 times out of 10 is also seeing some other dude .. and the other dude is her real interest.

I"m friendly, I cook, I work hard .. but sometimes i wonder if my quirks make me unattractive ... A girl i was recently pursing (who wants to be friends; cause she likes someone else), said i was sweet, intense, and rare.

Anyone else, ie guys on hear feel like unless your either mega wealthy, super hot, or really funny being with a women that your moderately attracted to is super hard?

one more story real quick. a girl at my work whose a bit older ame said i was 'sexy' and we dated a few times, this was the first girl in the last 10 years that showed interested in me that i was actually attracted to ; some would say that proves that you shouldn't 'pursue' girls and it will just happen. but i say BS; simply because that happened ONCE and unless i ask them out... it never happens.

In summary my questions:

- why is this so hard?
- what can i do differently without changing who i am ?
- why does it seem like moderately attractive females have it easier than moderately attractive males? or am i just biased cause i'm a guy?

And any general encouragement would be MUCH appreciated!

I need a 21 year old Sales Guru to guide me on my path to enlightenment!

ZackTM — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 11:23:11 -0800

How do I learn to optimize my website/sales approach to sell online to college kids? I've got an entertainment based product I'm trying to sell to college kids, and I'm doing an okay job of driving traffic to the site. The problem comes in once they're there. My conversion rate is terrible.

I feel optimistic that the product itself appeals to the demographic (18-25 year old men) because if I can get some one-on-one time with a person, they usually are compelled to buy.

I want to try to automate this process as much as possible by having a solid website to convert the traffic numbers to sales numbers. I think I'm not giving the -right- information on the website, or perhaps too much.

Do you recommend any books/websites/news articles/podcasts/blogs that are specifically geared towards selling products online to college guys? Anything and everything you can suggest I read is useful!

Another awesome thing you could provide would be maybe an online marketing community where I could find someone to look at my website and say "hey this is hard to navigate, you need to change this" and "Hey that's funny! emphasize that!"

Do I try to win her back?

Anonymous — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 06:50:38 -0800

My girlfriend broke up with me. Yeah, this is one of those questions... We dated for a relatively short time, a few months, but it was long enough for me to realize exactly how crazy I am about this girl. About 2 nights ago, however, she decided to break things off. She's been accepted to a school out of town, and is generally quite a busy person, and felt that she couldn't commit and give me the attention she thought I deserved. She still cares about me and wants to remain close, just not in a romantic relationship right now.

I respect her views but I'm having a tough time accepting it. Not that it should be easy or anything. But, anyway, I'm not just wasting space here venting. I'm here to ask if it's a good idea for me to approach her and try to "win her back", so to speak. The more I type the less this sounds like a good idea, but so does just giving up. I want to tell her that I think that this could work, and that we've basically given up before we've even tried. She won't be leaving for another few months, and I'd like to spend as much time with her as possible before she actually is gone.

Please don't think I'm a creepy obsessive stalker. I'm talking to the girl as I type this, it's not as if she's telling me to get lost, and if the only response I got from her was a "No." then I'd accept that and move on. I'm just wondering what my chances are at this actually working, or if I'll just end up making things worse.

Reasonably-priced jeans for VERY skinny guys?

amyms — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 21:44:33 -0800

What stores (in the U.S.) carry reasonably-priced jeans for VERY skinny guys? My son just turned 15 and is in the middle of a growth-spurt (but it's all height, not weight). He looks like a concentration camp survivor, but he's very healthy and energetic. All of his jeans are too short and we're having a very difficult time finding anything in his size. Two salesgirls at the mall helped him figure out his exact size: 29 waist and 34 length/inseam (which, alas, their store didn't carry). So far we've struck out at Sears, JC Penney, Old Navy, Walmart and Target. We found a few styles in that size at the higher-end stores, but they're really out of our price range for something he's likely to outgrow in another couple of months. Most stores carry plenty of styles for skinny girls, but not so much for skinny guys. He likes cargo-style jeans and khakis, and I'd like to find them for under $30 a pair (preferably not online, because he's very concerned about making sure things feel okay and wants to "try before we buy").

how to pick up guys?

yeara — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 12:53:42 -0800

help me understand guys - what do i have to do to pick them up? what do guys want from a relationship/ girlfriend? is sex, food and a cleaning service the only thing guys want from their girlfriends? because that's what the "normal" guys i know are excited about. more inside. i've been looking all over the internet for a female version of The Pick Up Guide. i've found two really good pick up resources for guys - speed seduction and Maniac High's Pick Up Girls Guide. i could not find any resources addressed towards girls trying to pick up guys.

what i really liked about those guides is the insightful look into girl's pick up psychology. i want to understand guys. from those guides, i understood "emotions" and "feelings" are not big things for guys. they want just want sex. is sex really that important for guys? what have i got to provoke to pick them up? have i got to be good looking? is it that easy that there are no in depth guides? do i just have to invite them to a date / get together? how can i make them pick me up?

also, what do guys want from a girlfriend? do they want someone to talk and support them? do they want a girl who makes them laugh and they can spend "quality" time with, doing activities together, or are they looking for a cook, a maid and sex?

No spark, now what?

Anonymous — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 16:00:17 -0800

My girlfriend of 6 months is starting to talk about marriage. I love her and all, but I don't have that "spark" you sometimes get in relationships. What now? I love spending time with her, I honestly think I could be very happy with her for the rest of my life, but there is just something missing. We are super compatible and all and rarely argue. We laugh, smile, and life is great right now.

However, the thought of marriage makes me nervous. Is it wise to keep waiting for that "spark" to come? Something just seems to be missing, and I can't quite put my finger on it.

I shutter at the thought of hurting her, as she has had trouble with relationships in the past. She makes it known that she would be devastated if we ever broke up, and that puts a lot of pressure on me.

I don't know what to do.

He loves me, or he loves me not?

catatethebird — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 03:54:11 -0800

Does he have feelings for me? Or just when he's drunk? I need an interpreter of male I-want-a-relationship cues. The short version, we were in a relationship five years ago, in love, etc. Recently reconnected, and ended up in a friends-with-benefits type thing, after we both proclaimed we didn't want a relationship right now. He is very shy, and I know from past experience very disinclined to speak about his feelings or make the first move in anything.
So, generally he treats me as a friend (that he's sleeping with) but with some of those little affectionate gestures that you do when you have feelings for someone. The thing is, he gets much more affectionate when he drinks. Much more touching, cuddling, telling me how great I am/compliments, and so on. So I'm wondering, does he have feelings of more than friendship for me, but he's too inhibited to show it when he's sober, or is it just the alcohol that's making him feel all warm and fuzzy, and he doesn't really have any feelings for me at all?

Of course, at some point I will actually talk to him about this, but I want to step lightly right now and see if I can figure out where we stand a little better first.

(and, um, I'm thinking he's not being affectionate to get in my pants, as he's already gotten in them)

Como se dice "Tropical Father-Son Reunion" en español?

mdonley — Fri, 26 May 2006 08:22:30 -0800

"La Riviera Maya" (er, coastal Quintana Roo, Mexico) or Costa Rica for a Totally Awesome Father-Son Bonding Experience in March/April/May 2007? Most important factors:

- It's the first time we'll be together in more than a year. Maximum fun required.

- Ten days to two weeks, leaving from southern California (so flying from any airport in the region, or Tijuana, is doable). We're splitting the cost, so cheaper (around $50-75 a night would be ideal) and cheerful (simple pleasures: hot showers, happy employees, screens on the windows, semi-to-very delicious food nearby) accomodation is better.

- I am a really, really independent traveler and Dad's never been abroad beyond going fishing with work buddies in Baja California once a year (where I think he never actually stayed overnight on land). Dad just got his first passport in November; I've been to four continents. We've never traveled together before on our own and are (I'm guessing) *very different* travelers.

- Dad is between 250 and 300 pounds and can't really do a whole lot of long walks, but he's down for a challenge anytime. We've got a great dude-to-dude relationship and I'd say we both recognize which of us is better at a particular thing and let that person handle it.

- I'll be organizing most of the trip online, from my current base in Indonesia, so web-friendliness in all aspects of the vacation is key.

We'd like to do some sportfishing, see some volcanoes and colonial architecture, eat lots of cheap seafood, meet some wildlife in a jungle, and retire to an acceptably welcoming spot at night. If we go to Mexico, we'd like to see some ruins. We don't really do beaches or sitting by pools, but it'd be nice to dip our toes in while sipping the local cerveza.

Now, Dad has said that he wants "all-inclusive," which I blanche at the sight of, but neither of us has ever done this - I'm guessing it's his general lack of experience traveling that's making him lean toward this. Thoughts? Any locally-run, small-scale outfits that offer similar amenities and will make him feel happy and relaxed without making me feel like I'm in a 200-acre-30-story Gringo Disneyland?

As for what we bring to the table: I'd rank our Spanish as a healthy 7 to 8 out of 10. We like to reserve things online, we're happy taking little egg-beater planes and (functioning) buses around, we pack light, and we'll have a GSM cell phone. We can rent a car, but I'd prefer not to as it relieves us of the stress of responsibility.

I've seen many of the other threads on both areas, checked out the NYT "Costa Rica" and "Mexico" sections, tooled around the Lonely Planet Thorntree, and "seached inside the book!" on Amazon and both places seem really good for what we want. Your personal recommendations will make the difference! Go, Green, go! Thanks!

Guy developing fasion sense

BeerGrin — Tue, 03 Jan 2006 13:09:36 -0800

Help me (A guy) develop a grown man's sense of style. I am 31 years old and tired to death of the Gap/Old Navy/Bannanarepublic. I used to rely on them to provide me a sense of style within a fairly reasonable budget. I need to research and settle on an adult sense of fashion I can reasonably afford.

I am not blue jeans kind of guy and I am fed up with the yearly changes in blue jeans styles. I like classic "preppie" looks, but I hate the ideas of becoming a Brooks Brothers/Joseph A.Banks clone. (I do not golf, why should I dress like I do?)

Most of my favorite clothing from the last 3 years has come from Eastern Mountain Sports and REI; however I cannot imagine dressing like I'm on the Application trail to go to school or work. I love buying good quality clothing that wears comfortably for multiple seasons. I love European men's style, but I seriously doubt I can afford to dress that way.

What are a fella's options? Where does an adult man bargain hunt for the adult version of preppie or more European clothing?

Guys need help in love, too.

itchie — Sun, 27 Nov 2005 11:59:42 -0800

Is there a book for heterosexual guys similiar to She's Not Into You and other similar books for chicks?