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How can I handle unnecessary guilt from coworkers?

My job involves many roles, one of which is IT support, at a medium-sized business. Even though this part of my work only takes up about 33% of my working hours, the negativity surrounding it is making my job a living hell. [more inside]
posted by daisies on May 20, 2013 - 48 answers

 

How do I tell my parents I am taking a break from school?

My parents are seem to lack trust in my ability to manage my own life. They are controlling, have a strong tendency to emotionally overreact. How do I tell my parents I am taking a break from school with them overreacting? My mother is currently undergoing cancer treatment and I am concerned she will “worry herself sick” over me taking a break from school. [more inside]
posted by lovecricket on Apr 29, 2013 - 13 answers

What to do when you're the asshole in the relationship?

So, I was a bad ex-girlfriend and a shitty friend. What now? [more inside]
posted by frizzle on Mar 12, 2013 - 48 answers

Dealing with family when someone is dying

It appears my Dad is in the process of dying - I'm mostly okay with that, but really struggling with the rest of my family. Could use some words of wisdom. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2013 - 21 answers

How can I help my daughter with her height?

Please help me with my incredible (and probably irrational) guilt and grief over my daughter's height. I know that she'll be okay but I blame myself. Is there anything that I can do now? [more inside]
posted by Toto_tot on Dec 28, 2012 - 126 answers

Great lullabies, terrible lyrics.

A friend told me his baby was soothed quickly & consistently by Neutral Milk Hotel's "Oh Comely", despite its seemingly wildly inappropriate lyrics. What other songs have worked well as baby lullabies despite their actual meaning? [more inside]
posted by davebug on Dec 22, 2012 - 52 answers

How do you deal with knowing that the person's friends hate you for how you've hurt them?

Relationship fall-out: How do you deal with knowing that the person's friends hate you for how you've hurt them? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Dec 19, 2012 - 56 answers

Why can't I just get over this?

How do I get more onboard with my in-laws' presence in my life? [more inside]
posted by agress on Dec 16, 2012 - 37 answers

"Vacate, Set Aside, or Correct Sentence" means what???

What does a motion to "Vacate, Set Aside, or Correct Sentence By A Person In Federal Custody" mean? [more inside]
posted by foggy out there now on Dec 15, 2012 - 1 answer

Letting Sleeping Dogs Lie

So I screwed up and had an affair. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 12, 2012 - 28 answers

How honest am I obligated to be with my parents about dropping college classes?

How honest am I obligated to be with my parents about dropping college classes? [more inside]
posted by efsrous on Nov 14, 2012 - 29 answers

Need to reframe my thinking and comparing self to coworkers with families.

How can I reframe my thinking so that I stop comparing myself to coworkers who do all they do AND have families to take care of at home? [more inside]
posted by ArgyleMarionette on Oct 15, 2012 - 16 answers

Lazy University Student? Guilty As Charged. How can I change? And is this normal?

I'm an intelligent 20 year old University student with good-ish grades and overall, I get all the important stuff done. However, I have such frequent periods of lazy and unmotivated lack of productivity that I feel tremendous guilt for on a daily basis--Should I feel guilty? Is this common / normal? [more inside]
posted by rhythm_queen on Oct 14, 2012 - 16 answers

Friendship, Stewardship

What to do with an awol friend's large object? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 6, 2012 - 18 answers

Take the money and run!

My 'rents want to support me. I don't really feel like I need their support anymore. Am I being silly by not considering their offer of money? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2012 - 39 answers

How do you put past relationship "guilt" behind you and would contact after a breakup be a good idea?

The nutshell: how do you put relationship mistakes/guilt behind you? And contact with her would be a bad idea, right? (We’ve been broken up about 3 months now with no contact, except for one email exchange about two weeks after the break up). [more inside]
posted by yeahyeahyeah on Sep 19, 2012 - 24 answers

Seeking healthier perspectives during a rough time

I will soon be breaking up with my very dear partner. Typically, this is the point at which my life goes off-track for the next few years and I lose all perspective and any mental health I've achieved. I want to approach this period in a very different way this time. My question is how to avoid both zoning out/creating a protective fog/rewriting the past to be less dramatic than it is, and avoiding the other extreme of drowning in guilt for my partner's pain and their wasted energy and my destruction of our planned future. [more inside]
posted by teslateslatesla on Aug 23, 2012 - 19 answers

Book Guilt

Help me overcome crippling guilt at getting rid of physical books. [more inside]
posted by wolfdreams01 on Jul 10, 2012 - 43 answers

Bankrupt

I think I need to file bankruptcy. Guilt and shame. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 26, 2012 - 17 answers

I'm not fully attracted to the girl I am dating, but I love her personality and we get along great, what do I do?

I'm not fully attracted to the girl I am dating, but I love her personality and we get along great, what do I do? [more inside]
posted by curious-mind on Jun 24, 2012 - 65 answers

Fixing a Relationship I Broke

Broke up with my girlfriend, but want her back. She's moving away. Some inter-faith drama as well. Thoughts? [more inside]
posted by kilbasar on Jun 17, 2012 - 35 answers

How can I organise my work day more effectively?

I have a lot of autonomy in my job, along with a lot of responsibility. How can I get better at organizing my working patterns so that I get everything done, without always worrying that I should be working on some other task instead? Looking for recommendations for tactics, mindsets, books, apps, or whatever's worked for you. [more inside]
posted by Catseye on Jun 13, 2012 - 6 answers

Drawing a Blank

How much do you remember your teen years and, if not a lot, then when did you start to lose those memories? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jun 12, 2012 - 27 answers

So. Awkward.

Someone I sometimes work with asked me for a favor. I want to say no in the nicest and least dishonest possible way. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 7, 2012 - 20 answers

I really, really, really don't want him to be THAT guy.

My husband has the opportunity to buy a [lower-end luxury brand sports car] from an ill family friend for a great deal. I am totally against it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2012 - 146 answers

How do I move on from this?

I suffer from depression and issues relating to low self esteem. In a moment of unbelievably horrible judgment and extreme selfishness I slept with my best friend's husband. She found out. I'm pretty sure I've lost her friendship forever and I have no idea how to deal with this crushing guilt and regret. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 8, 2012 - 35 answers

Good friend/bad friend

I am not feeling this baby shower right now. Help! [more inside]
posted by *s on May 4, 2012 - 31 answers

How can I stop dwelling on my actions that may have caused loss of life?

I feel (at the very least) tangentially responsible for another persons death (murder) and I just can't shake it. [more inside]
posted by holdkris99 on Apr 16, 2012 - 47 answers

Any good readings on survivor guilt?

Anyone know of any good readings on survivor guilt? (And maybe even how to deal with it?) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2012 - 6 answers

I'm addicted to twelve-step programs!

I can't seem to stick to a goal or self-improvement regime for more than a few days before switching to a newer, shinier, better one. Help. [more inside]
posted by cortisol on Apr 2, 2012 - 10 answers

My boyfriend committed suicide

I left him. Packed up my stuff, and the pets. He was there trying to keep it together even though I could see his pain. He killed himself 10 days later. Everyone is saying it's not my fault and not to blame myself. How? [more inside]
posted by puppup on Mar 27, 2012 - 53 answers

I'm never wrong, you're never right

is it a red flag if a person never thinks they're wrong? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 15, 2012 - 66 answers

Knowing the universe puts itself in equilibrium would alleviate my guilt.

How do you reconcile with guilt and the feeling that something bad should happen to you as a consequence of past mistakes? [more inside]
posted by ichomp on Mar 3, 2012 - 17 answers

Mother-in-law triggering PTSD

How do I keep sane when my mother-in-law does crazy things? [more inside]
posted by mild deer on Feb 17, 2012 - 43 answers

We love you, but only when we like what you're doing.

FamilyGuiltFilter: Please help me navigate my mother and her tendancies to pile on guilt. [more inside]
posted by floweredfish on Dec 15, 2011 - 45 answers

How did you tell others you were in an abusive relationship?

I realized last night that I need to get out of my emotionally abusive marriage. I'm really scared for a lot of reasons. For those of you who have been in my shoes, how did you "come out" to others about your situation? How did you cope with people who told you you brought it on yourself? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 9, 2011 - 32 answers

feeling responsible for a friend's death

How do you deal with suicide when you feel (or are made to feel) partially responsible? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Oct 9, 2011 - 27 answers

Feel guilty for hurting my abuser

How do I deal with guilt, anger, and complicated emotions surrounding cheating on my abusive spouse? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 5, 2011 - 32 answers

Getting Beat With the Guilt Stick

Getting what I want. Now feeling the guilt. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2011 - 18 answers

It's You, Not Us, but Let's Say It's Us Anyway.

How do we get over the guilt and just fire our nanny already? Very specific caveat inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2011 - 30 answers

Guilt is universal

How do I abandon guilt, when my behaviour isn’t hurting anyone? [more inside]
posted by b33j on Sep 7, 2011 - 18 answers

I tried to kiss my boyfriends friend.

I tried to kiss my boyfriends best friend at a party 11 months ago and I still feel badly about it. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2011 - 42 answers

Not wanting to share condo---major guilt

We bought a condo in a resort town and I feel guilty about the fact that I am not excited about my adult sister and her family or my adult brother and his family or my husband's siblings and family using it. [more inside]
posted by seekingsimplicity on Jul 30, 2011 - 27 answers

Ill Apron Strings

My mother doesn't take of her health at all, she ignores everyone's health advice when she has problems, and it's making me feel guilty and frustrated for not trying hard enough and not being able to support her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 13, 2011 - 13 answers

Take a Picture, It'll Last Longer

I've offended a friend by declining a personal recommendation, am I really at fault here? [more inside]
posted by xbeautychicx on Jul 2, 2011 - 22 answers

How can I feel less guilty about not being there for my parents?

How do I deal with my guilt when it comes to not being there for my parents? I’ve decided to move out on my own after helping out my parents on various aspects of their lives on and off for many years. They don’t want me to move out, for their own comfort and out of fear for my financial insecurity. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 30, 2011 - 13 answers

Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries

Can you recommend a book or two about helping to set boundaries with parents? [more inside]
posted by The Giant Squid on Jun 25, 2011 - 7 answers

Guilt When Receiving Money

What can I do about my hangups about receiving money? [more inside]
posted by The ____ of Justice on Jun 20, 2011 - 9 answers

Guilt and shame about needing help overcoming feelings of guilt and shame.

How do I overcome feelings of guilt and shame about needing therapy in order to get help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 8, 2011 - 16 answers

Guilty, guilty, guilty.

It's me again. I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. How do I minimize the guilt I feel for hurting him, and the hurt over him being back on the dating site already? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2011 - 63 answers

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