Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with guidance

The Tortoise and the Ant and the ...?

Nonce — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 22:15:10 -0800

If you wanted a stable, boring (but really only boring in scare quotes), modest life, what career paths would you take? Emphasis on path; I want to come out of this post with a course of action. If you get a masters of library sciences, can you reasonably expect to get a job starting out in the high 20s/low 30s in a place where that's sufficient to be comfortable, with pay increases and advancement on the horizon? Or are there too many people competing for the same jobs for that to be the standard path? Is the digital age cutting funding for libraries, or increasing opportunity? Are archivists able to get work?

I'd love detailed responses from the perspective of work and life that is possible for a liberal arts (English lit degree) college grad who does not want to take on the world, but rather live in it, enjoy it, have space to be aware of his (feel free to substitute her) own thoughts, and avoid any races that center on rodents rather than on the sheer joy of running.

I'd really like special attention paid to practicality and stability. Also, interaction with the public is not a negative at all. In fact, I'd love to avoid interacting with a computer all day, as good at that as I may be. Light exercise and some sun could only improve the equation.

I'd like to assess myself, and my options, and then head in a direction that, barring any black swans, will bear steady fruit I am comfortable with while allowing me to grow in whatever direction it winds up I grow, rather than trading my mental and physical health for high pay.

Is there a way to cheat at life? To wind up doing something that refreshes your soul for eight hours a day, and leaves you more you at the end rather than less? Or at least pays the bills while you fill the rest of your time with art, literature, travel, and companionship (frugally, of course)?

I could see myself building trails, leading tours, researching, tagging, and photographing for the park service, and never feeling like I'd sold a second of my time doing anything I wouldn't have done for free. If I get a master's degree in conservation or forest management, would it be difficult to find a position in the park service a few years from now?

I cannot stress how much I don't want to gamble. Nothing is certain in this life, but there is a certain difference in job prospects between getting that MFA in creative writing so you can teach college and getting that state teaching certificate so you can teach high school. Not that taking a detour to get an MFA precludes anything else at all--but I'm sure you get the picture.

Or at least I hope you do, because I sure don't and I could use a hand.

After a break-up and social ostracization, what should my next steps be?

Anonymous — Fri, 08 May 2009 20:49:55 -0800

Break-ups, moving, planning out my future, and everything in between. What do I do now? I am finding myself in a position of turmoil for a large number of reasons, and I'm trying to figure out what next to do with my life, and how to sort through all of my options.

I'm currently in a dead-end job. It's easy, the pay is low but liveable, it's not what I want to do with the rest of my life. I don't know what I want to do with my life, actually--my attempts at attending school have all failed and I'm feeling pretty directionless. The only think I consider seriously is joining the military but I'm not even ready for that yet. There's issue #1.

Issue #2 is tangentially related to the job. After the break-up of my long-term relationship almost two months ago I've experienced almost total ostracization from all of my friends in the immediate area. Solution is to make new groups of friends, right? But even in the best frame of mind I'm pretty terrible at producing friendships out of thin air, and right now my job's hours don't leave a lot of extra time for socialization and many nights I feel too demoralized about my situation to put a lot of energy into it. All I want to do is spend my time on a hobby of mine that brings me a lot of joy and relief, but unfortunately has a very small community around it that also has gravitated towards the ex.

So due to feel lost career-wise and outcast socially, I feel like there's no future in my current location. I have been thinking about re-establishing myself in a different city where I have other friend groups who would be more amenable to hanging out with me and other communities of people interested in my hobby--right now thinking somewhere in Florida, DC, or Philly. Maybe then getting over the break-up would be easier and I wouldn't feel so crazy and cooped-up right now. And though my background is almost entirely dead-end service jobs, it seems like those are always available anywhere and my references are all pretty stellar so I'm not terribly worried about my job prospects.

However, I love the city I'm currently in, and though my job is dead-end I don't mind the work or co-workers, and really, really hate moving--I moved a lot when I was a kid so it means a lot to me to live in a place that feels like home. Maybe I should take this as a challenge to myself to try to make new friends and develop my ability to socialize. I'm also worried about the change in cost-of-living (my current city has a very low COL), and my ability to support myself given that dead-end service jobs don't tend to pay much. I also don't have a lot of financial resources, so there is not a lot of room for error and city-hopping here.

My lease is up in a couple of weeks, and I feel pressured to decide what to do now--if I decide to stay where I am, I currently have a pretty sweet living situation and wouldn't want to leave.

How should I guide myself? How should I figure out what to do? What should my main steps be? I am feeling overwhelmed with options and could use some guidance.

Almost 29 and eternally single, HELP!

learninguntilidie — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 00:13:51 -0800

I turn 29 in a couple weeks and would like to be in a relationship. What can I do differently? I've done a lot to improve myself over the last couple years: I workout regularly, (i'm a pretty muscular dude now), I'm much more assertive with women without being overbearing (which is difficult cause i'm a sensitive d00d), and I have worked on improving the inner me: ie more self-assured, more chill, etc,.

My problem is I've gone on lots of dates but can't get the women to be really interested in being 'with me'. Or they might initially be interested in me but after hanging out (lets say with a bunch of friends) when i try to ask her on a date she gets flaky, and 9 times out of 10 is also seeing some other dude .. and the other dude is her real interest.

I"m friendly, I cook, I work hard .. but sometimes i wonder if my quirks make me unattractive ... A girl i was recently pursing (who wants to be friends; cause she likes someone else), said i was sweet, intense, and rare.

Anyone else, ie guys on hear feel like unless your either mega wealthy, super hot, or really funny being with a women that your moderately attracted to is super hard?

one more story real quick. a girl at my work whose a bit older ame said i was 'sexy' and we dated a few times, this was the first girl in the last 10 years that showed interested in me that i was actually attracted to ; some would say that proves that you shouldn't 'pursue' girls and it will just happen. but i say BS; simply because that happened ONCE and unless i ask them out... it never happens.

In summary my questions:

- why is this so hard?
- what can i do differently without changing who i am ?
- why does it seem like moderately attractive females have it easier than moderately attractive males? or am i just biased cause i'm a guy?

And any general encouragement would be MUCH appreciated!

Send me back to skool

sambosambo — Sun, 11 May 2008 13:00:07 -0800

How does a 25-year old college dropout go about getting a fresh start at a new university? I dropped out of San Jose State about 2 years ago. I want another shot at getting my degree, but I have no idea how to go about choosing a school to attend.

I chose San Jose State mostly out of fear and laziness, as it was the closest and cheapest university that I was accepted into. After an on-again-off-again relationship with the school, I eventually dropped out. It's been 2 years now, and I have a better idea of what I'd really like to study, and have glimpsed what the future holds for me without finishing my education.

For a number of reasons, I don't want to go back to SJSU. The top reason being that it just wasn't a good fit for me. The second reason is that given the amount of credits I'd have to makeup I'd simply prefer to use the time to start over again rather than play catchup.

I'm very open and would love to get away from the SF Bay Area and California, so how do I narrow my choices and find schools that will fit me?

How can I escape the temp trap?

allen8219 — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 08:54:17 -0800

Career-filter: I have gotten myself mired in the temp/admin world, and I want to get out! What kind of positions should I be applying for to gain experience, set myself up for grad school and get started on a meaningful career? Please help me take the next step in moving my life forward! I am a 2004 graduate of a top liberal arts college, currently working as a temp legal assistant. Since graduating almost four years ago, my work experience has been scattered and (honestly) not very substantive. I have temped in a couple cities, taught English abroad for a year, did volunteer fund raising and other work in a couple developing countries, and then back to temping and admin assistant type stuff.

Ideally I'd like to find a new job and stay in it until fall '09, and then start grad school (international relations, marketing, maybe business).

In every job I've had, I always get good evaluations, and my temporary assignments have always turned into permanent offers that I've turned down, as I don't want to be an administrative assistant forever. The real-world consequence of this has basically been no benefits and lower salary, for doing the same work I supposedly didn't want.

I don't know what field exactly I want to be in, but I am interested in business, marketing, the environment, anything/everything international (especially Asian), and more. I know that's super broad, but it's as narrow as I've been able to make it.

I am trying to find jobs and employers that would be understanding of a scattered resume, but that would also be willing to give me a chance to prove myself and actually do some substantive work. I can write, am very personable, have decent math skills, and am a fast learner.

I am not super concerned with salary, as I am pretty frugal and willing to sacrifice in the short term.

I currently live in Washington DC, but I am considering moving to New York. Don't let my geography constrain your brainstorming, however, as I am really willing to consider anything interesting.

I have a feeling that my question may not be as clear as I'd like, but I feel like I'm too close to the problem to see what information you might need... I will be watching this thread, so please do ask questions and I will elaborate!

What should I do with my life?

fjardt — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 18:23:58 -0800

About a week ago I graduated from high school—finally. I graduated with honors and have a very large scholarship to a state university here. It's all planned for me to go to university. But I am not sure if I want this. I do see many benefits to a university education—such as networking and something on which to fall back, should I need a traditional job (and want one that is at least somewhat stimulating); but I want to start my own business. I have some ideas, but I haven't deployed any yet. I know some will fail. It will take time.

But I don't want to be tied down with school again. It feels so great to be done with high school—a great sense of freedom I have.

I think that what I want to do immediately is to travel—particularly in Europe. I speak German almost fluently and some Danish/Swedish/Norwegian. Learning languages is my hobby and I'm willing to pick up Spanish, Russian—whatever—along the way.

I have a few friends who are feeling the same way, with whom I could travel. But I'm willing to do it on my own, too.

It may seem as if I've already decided, that I amn't going to university. But what is holding me back is fear. In high school we were told so many times that it was either university or McDonalds. I guess I don't want either.

I also have some uncertainties, should I choose university: should I get a dorm or an apartment? Which is cheaper? I can cook, and I prefer too, because of my diet (vegetarian). I also am not anti-social, but I like privacy.

So I feel that I need some help, some guidance, some good advice.

This is my first question to AskMeFi, so I hope I have followed the guidelines. If not it would be helpful to know in what way, so I can improve for later posts. (Very hard to categorize, I based it on that I am asking about going to university or not..)

Thank you!

So, what's the skinny on accountancy?

Chorus — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 03:59:17 -0800

So, what's the skinny on accountancy? In a lot of updated/newly published career pamphlets and books I've read about about accountancy, they all seem to have this air of despiration - they're throwing around phrases like: "Well after Enron and Sarbanes-Oxley, accountants are now dynamic, efficient and at the driving core of any business!!!", "To be an accountant today, means to be at the forefront of impelenting the best practises blah blah blah", "Accountants get all the girls!" - stuff like that [okay fine, not the last one, but damn close enough to it].

To me it sounds like BS, or at the very least, a whole heap of waffle. In all the literature I've read lately, it's like they want to inflate the position of an accountant beyond anything I've ever imagined [and to the point of sniggering in my case]. Maybe to encourage more to study in that field - I don't know.

I'll have the option soon of specializing in an accountancy degree, so I'm asking the hive mind what's it really like? Accountants out there, are you "dynamic, efficient and zomg teh bee's knees in your organization"? [I'm guessing the answer is no. I trust your portrayal in Dilbert than what career guidance tells me].

What's it really like to qualify as an accountant, or to study to degree level as one? Yes, I could ask career guidance, but you see the kind of propaganda-esque info they're spreading.

Am I somehow set up for life with an accountancy degree? What are the pitfalls of the field?

I'm a serious student and aim for the top in every class, I'd be aiming for a Big Four firm in the future if I were to get into accounting at all [which I've only discovered that I enjoy immensley while doing my generic 1-year entry-into-a-degree business course].

So what's the skinny? Are these career pamplets and books BS?

After 'A' Levels: advice and recommendations for a university undergraduate.

dash_slot- — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 17:09:35 -0800

What would you say to a reasonably bright (nearly) 19 year old at this stage of her life? My daughter finishes her 'A' Levels next week. She has studied sciences - psychology, biology & chemistry, and it looks like she's going to do well - if she gets, as expected, either AAB for Bristol University or ABB for Sussex (Brighton), she's set up.

Which books, which films, even which bands should she not be ignorant of? Any aphorisms, mottos & bon mots - all words of wisdom are welcome: especially those that you wish you had heard when you were a girl of that age (hell, if you are a girl of that age, tell me, what would you want to be told!)