Hi all-- I'm writing an essay that began as one about keening and the times I've been reduced to wordless cries of grief. Now it's sprawling all over the place and I'm also talking about wordlessness in general (including references to people like Meredith Monk who often sing and emote without words), and also the speech act (when it doesn't matter what is said but that it is said). I don't know how much I'll pare it down, but in the meantime I wanted to crowdsource some ideas. Does anything come to mind when you think of wordlessness, especially in the context of grief? Are there any words (from any cultures) that mean "that which cannot be expressed in words?" (Aside from more general terms like "unable to be articulated" and such.)
posted by mermaidcafe
on May 7, 2013 -
15 answers
I just ended a year-long relationship two months ago with the love of my life. He was a brilliant, creative, talented and generous man with Asperger's and a long, complicated history of severe mental illness. He was an Army vet and had lived an incredible life, full of adventures but also extreme trauma and heartbreak. He killed himself on Friday. How do I go on?
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posted by cardinality
on May 5, 2013 -
18 answers
I am a (new) professor at a small, rural university. One of my students has had to take an emergency leave due to a death in their family. Aside from assuring them that they need not think about their schoolwork at all, and that we'll work it out when they're ready, is there anything else I can do to support them?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 26, 2013 -
19 answers
I recently discovered the TV show
Go On and liked it. I am wondering if you guys know of any other show (or movie) that has the same feel?
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posted by pleasebekind
on Apr 4, 2013 -
22 answers
[Family-issue-disguised-as-gift-suggestion filter] Please give me your recommendations for humorous and inspiring movies, especially about someone taking simple, practical steps to establish a balanced life. For snowflakey reasons detailed inside, I believe such a movie might be a helpful gift for my brother given his current life circumstances.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 29, 2013 -
7 answers
Has someone important to you passed away? What was the most comforting/most respectful thing anyone said to you when that happened? I work with the elderly, who die at an accelerated rate. 98% of the time, I genuinely care about the deceased and would like to give comfort to the surviving family. Since this comes up a lot, I feel as if I'm repeating the same phrases over and over. I need more options. I'm specifically asking for things people said
to you that were kind.
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posted by Lately Gone
on Mar 21, 2013 -
77 answers
Death of a parent and a breakup- how to disentangle the two, get a virtual lobotomy regarding the breakup, and for heavens sake just fucking move on regarding the breakup.
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posted by xm
on Feb 27, 2013 -
20 answers
My wife died. Everyone keeps telling me I should have someone to talk to - a counselor or someone from hospice or whoever. I don't really feel like I need or want that, though. Am I harming myself by handling this on my own?
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posted by tylerkaraszewski
on Feb 17, 2013 -
67 answers
My ex-boyfriend recently broke up with me. I am normally a very emotional person but I feel... nothing. I would like some advice about how to release my bottled-up emotions over this.
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posted by sock puppetron on wheels
on Feb 2, 2013 -
24 answers
My cat has died, which was horrible. Worse, I wasn't even home. I'd like to send my cat sitter something.
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posted by AmandaA
on Jan 8, 2013 -
9 answers
Need some tips and pointers, such as those based on personal stories and experiences, regarding getting out of a deep, deep hole of endless darkness and hopelessness when the universe seems to be hell bent on bringing you down to your knees...
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posted by xm
on Dec 29, 2012 -
10 answers
Have you ever not only been unable to see the light and the end of the tunnel, and don't care anymore if you do?
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posted by thelastgirl
on Dec 11, 2012 -
20 answers
Family drama: what should we be doing? This was
me. Last night, my pregnant-with-twins sister went to the ER with bleeding and what felt like early contractions.
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posted by kat518
on Dec 2, 2012 -
38 answers
My estranged father passed away last Sunday. I've decided to attend the funeral. Please help me conduct myself with something resembling grace. Overly complex snowflakey stuff inside.
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posted by Ephelump Jockey
on Jul 31, 2012 -
23 answers
It has been two months since my beloved grandmother died. I still think about her every day. Is this normal?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 27, 2012 -
40 answers
It's been 3 months since my boyfriend killed himself.
Just doing the basics takes so much out of me. The first month was a blur and everyone thought I was doing "exceptionally well". My tendencies are always to be very private and keep to myself. The only person I used to share my emotions with is dead. I have family but haven't been close to them in a very long time and even before never felt safe or able to share my personal life with them. Everything is very much on the surface. They were very dismissive when I spoke to them years ago about my depression and anxiety. Initially they were texting me to see how I was doing but I wasn't very responsive. The few family members that I am close to are focusing on me "moving on". And I hate hearing those words. even though they mean well. I have very few friends and I met them as a result of my boyfriends death.
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posted by puppup
on Jun 5, 2012 -
19 answers
I had to back out of my childcare job in a not-entirely-graceful manner for an emergency last week. Could I have handled this better? How do I proceed now? How should I proceed if something similar were to happen in the future? Snowflake details inside.
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posted by ActionPopulated
on Jun 4, 2012 -
15 answers
I've recently discovered that my daughter is, at least in some form, autistic. I'm having a little trouble coping with this revelation and I'm feeling a bit lost about how to go forward.
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posted by WinnipegDragon
on Apr 23, 2012 -
32 answers
Seeking short Fables / Parables about love, relationships, death and loss of friends.
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posted by audio
on Apr 8, 2012 -
5 answers
I feel like I'm losing my mind from grief due to a broken heart. The people I have tried to trust since my break-up have let me down (except for my one true friend and my therapist but they can only help so much and they are kind of like Saints). I'm scared of my paranoia (big business is corrupt and it rules our country without scruples -- today I decided Verilli must have been drugged by the GOP to have so royally flubbed the Health Care oral arguments which may not be insane but if it's true it makes me want to die). What can I do for myself in NYC to not lose my mind and keep growing as a person?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 30, 2012 -
23 answers
My sister cut herself off from me over a year ago, and I'm still hurting. Any advice over getting over this at last?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 27, 2012 -
17 answers
I've achieved having an emotionally calm and pleasant daily life for myself, but I'm worried that once my mother passes, I'll forget the reality of our dynamic and feel like a horrible and evil daughter.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 18, 2012 -
22 answers
My brother died 7 months ago in an unexpected and tragic accident. This will be our first Christmas without him. What are some ideas for new traditions we can start to actively remember him and honor his memory?
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posted by isaypotato
on Dec 18, 2011 -
29 answers
I am transitioning (ftm) and haven't told my extended family. My grandmother is extremely distraught by my mother's passing last year. We are seeing each other for the first time in 6 months at a holiday dinner this month. How do I balance my needs with her needs and minimize drama?
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posted by buteo
on Dec 11, 2011 -
25 answers
How can you "fake it" or "power through it" or "put on a brave face" to make the holidays as normal as possible, when other people depend on it?
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 3, 2011 -
26 answers
How do you deal with suicide when you feel (or are made to feel) partially responsible?
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posted by divabat
on Oct 9, 2011 -
27 answers
A friend is about to pass away. Please help me be as supportive and helpful as possible for her husband and young daughter during the next few months.
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posted by zarq
on Aug 23, 2011 -
26 answers
How can I comfort the loved ones of a dying person I don't like? And the dying person themselves? Snowflake details inside.
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posted by katyggls
on Aug 19, 2011 -
26 answers
One half of a couple I consider good friends (I was in a band with both of them and deeply fond of them) passed away unexpectedly and tragically this past weekend. I'm on the opposite coast of the US so I can't be there in person. I want to send something to his now-widowed wife, but flowers seems so useless - any care package ideas?
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posted by pazazygeek
on Aug 16, 2011 -
14 answers
Where can I find resources on complicated grief, especially with regard to grieving something that never was?
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 8, 2011 -
6 answers
Does anyone know of a book or article that might be of help to a child and his family (he will soon be 12) whose mother died at childbirth. He is the nephew of a dear friend, the boy really values family and as he is maturing, realizes more and more, that each birthday also marks the anniversary date of his mothers' death. He is was adopted by a paternal aunt and is being raised in a loving family. If anyone has suggestions on how best to support the boy and his family, it is much appreciated. If anyone has first hand experience with this, your knowledge would be much appreciated. The issue is clearly much bigger than his birthday, but is there any way to help him emotionally to deal with this reality as he matures.
posted by jennstra
on Jul 23, 2011 -
10 answers
How do I help myself move on from the years-past, but sudden loss of a loved one, when it just doesn't seem to be getting better?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 26, 2011 -
10 answers
My 10 year old nephew just found out that his 15 year old friend committed suicide. What online resources can I send my sister to help him work through his feelings?
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posted by KathyK
on Jun 24, 2011 -
13 answers
Some heavy shit went down this week and I've become the unwilling party to a new family secret. I want to tell one or two trusted family members because it affects them to a lesser degree. Can people with calmer heads and more perspective help me sort through this and figure out the best line to take?
(Caution: longwinded)
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posted by anonymous
on May 25, 2011 -
58 answers
How to support and comfort a friend through the illness/loss of their pets? What helped you?
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posted by anonymous
on May 5, 2011 -
19 answers
