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What to send/do for a friend who lost her preemie?

A friend who lives far from me delivered a beautiful baby boy yesterday at 24 weeks and lost him only hours later. I would like to send her something, what should I send? [more inside]
posted by saradarlin on Aug 20, 2014 - 22 answers

Grief and the elderly

How do the elderly process loss? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2014 - 16 answers

What to say when "Fine, and you?" feels like a betrayal?

I've had a truly awful year, and in April my much beloved pet died suddenly leaving me completely devastated with guilt and grief. Among the things I no longer seem to be able to do is answer the innocuous "How are you?" question from acquaintances and colleagues. Any suggestions? [more inside]
posted by girl flaneur on Jul 31, 2014 - 42 answers

Looking for good grief support groups in NYC

My friend's Dad died earlier this year, and she's working through it. She wants to find a good grief support group in New York, preferably in lower Manhattan or Brooklyn. She works a lot, and the few she knows about meet in times when she just can't go. [more inside]
posted by WStraub on Jul 23, 2014 - 1 answer

Meal delivery service for grieving family

One of my co-workers has lost both parents within 3 months of each other. We are not super super close, and so far she hasn't accepted my offers of specific, practical things I can do to help (watching her kids, going to grocery store. etc.). I'd like to make her life a little easier anyway, so I was thinking about some kind of meal delivery service so she wouldn't need to cook for a little bit. [more inside]
posted by feathermeat on Jul 15, 2014 - 24 answers

My dog is dead, and I'm a mess

What can I do in the short and long-term to process and cope with my dog's death? [more inside]
posted by ablazingsaddle on Jun 27, 2014 - 44 answers

Finding it difficult to imagine ending cycles of self-sabotage

I keep falling into cycles of self-sabotage, with a few complicating factors. Recent academic news feels like its biggest manifestation - advice on this, and the possibility of moving past this when i go into employment. Apologies for the long read. [more inside]
posted by lethologues on Jun 17, 2014 - 3 answers

Words fail

How can I support my bereaved friend? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2014 - 25 answers

Help me emotionally support my long-distance SO

My SO and I have been a primarily long-distance relationship for 3 years. Help me help him support him emotionally. [more inside]
posted by smangosbubbles on Apr 24, 2014 - 6 answers

One date with someone who was bereaved shortly after

I've been on one date with a man whose brother died shortly afterwards. I want to support him and respect his decisions (including about whether to continue the relationship) but absolutely do not want to take advantage of his grief. I don't know how to approach this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 14, 2014 - 18 answers

How To Write a Eulogy for Somebody You Don't Know?

My sister has asked me to deliver the eulogy for my nephew at his funeral next week. He was 21 when he died of a drug overdose. I am happy to do it, but the difficulty is that I did not know him. So, I am having a hard time getting started... [more inside]
posted by The Blue Olly on Apr 9, 2014 - 14 answers

Supporting a grieving partner - what do you wish you'd known?

I am struggling and I don't know how to handle this and not make myself completely miserable along the way [more inside]
posted by lifethatihavenotlivedyet on Apr 8, 2014 - 21 answers

What can be done for situational depression that won't go away?

What can be done for situational depression/adjustment disorder that never ends? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2014 - 14 answers

Oh vei? Oy wey?

I'm looking for quotes, aforisms, dialogues, pondering, tracts and other worthwhile texts on the subject of suffering. [more inside]
posted by monocultured on Feb 23, 2014 - 11 answers

What does "I don't want to talk about it" mean, practically speaking?

A dear friend of mine who lives far away has lost two of her three cats to sudden, upsetting illness, in the space of a week. She has implied that she's not interested in talking about it, which I can understand. [more inside]
posted by Sokka shot first on Jan 8, 2014 - 20 answers

Someone else's grief: office edition

My boss' mother is dying. It's not about me, but: what am I not doing that I should be doing? What have I not even thought of? [more inside]
posted by terretu on Dec 13, 2013 - 15 answers

I know who I’d talk to, if only I could

How do you deal with the death of a good friend? [more inside]
posted by unannihilated on Dec 10, 2013 - 23 answers

Help me miss my Dad

My Dad died this week after a long illness. I don't feel a thing, except maybe tired. How do I get my feelings back? Are there resources for people like me? [more inside]
posted by SecondSock on Nov 30, 2013 - 36 answers

How to handle my healthy pregnancy and friends' pregnancy struggles?

How to handle my healthy pregnancy and friends' pregnancy struggles? [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Nov 25, 2013 - 13 answers

A question I wish I weren't asking

We put our 20-year-old cat to sleep at home last night. I had read about what to expect, but did not anticipate her struggling so desperately throughout the procedure. Now my mind keeps going back to those awful moments over and over. I’m wondering if anyone here has had a similar experience, or just has some thoughts on how to process this. [more inside]
posted by whistle pig on Nov 20, 2013 - 41 answers

How do I get used to not having an item I loved?

My house was burglarized this week and I'm taking it surprisingly well. This isn't my first time having my place broken and entered, and I know I'll eventually start feeling safe here again. But one thing that was stolen had profound sentimental value, and I feel like I'm in a bit of denial and trying to understand how to heal. [more inside]
posted by town of cats on Nov 16, 2013 - 15 answers

Can you help me understand this sign of mourning I saw in Honduras?

When I was living in Honduras, I noticed that when a person died, the family would hang up a large piece of black fabric outside of their house or in their window. This banner would be cut into a shape that reminded me of a bow tie. This might be a long shot, but does anyone know what the history is behind this tradition? [more inside]
posted by Paper rabies on Nov 16, 2013 - 7 answers

Gluten allergies must be made up

How do I come to terms with the glaring in-your-face reality that I have a gluten allergy and that it is not going to go away? [more inside]
posted by PuppetMcSockerson on Nov 13, 2013 - 32 answers

Helping a partner through life changes

My partner is facing some big life changes, including a new job and loss of a pet, and I'm wondering what small ways I can support him and make life easier for him. [more inside]
posted by whistle pig on Nov 11, 2013 - 6 answers

Complicated Death, Complicated Grief

In mid-May, my mother, who was the primary caregiver for my father with Alzheimer's, died suddenly. We spent weeks trying to get my father into a suitable situation, which quickly ended up in his death (a long story, so please bear with me). I'm looking for ideas on how to cope with uncertainty amid tragedy. [more inside]
posted by carrienation on Oct 24, 2013 - 21 answers

How to grieve for somebody who is living?

My sister was in a car accident two months ago, sustaining severe brain injuries. She is out of danger and is making good progress in rehab but the nature of her injuries means that the brilliant, unique girl I once knew is most likely gone forever. [more inside]
posted by Naanwhal on Oct 19, 2013 - 17 answers

Guess vs Ask, grieving edition

Dealing with grief, unsure how to ask friends for support, if at all. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2013 - 13 answers

Supporting boyfriend through grief

This past month, my boyfriend lost his job. Yesterday, his good friend lost his battle with cancer. How can I best support him during this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 30, 2013 - 7 answers

How can I deal with grief about selling my house?

I owned a beautiful new home for seven years and had to sell it this year due to practical factors such as distance to work for my wife, daycare, and so on. I am struggling with a kind of grief about it. The new owners move in today and last night I had a farewell party with some friends at the house which helped, but I stayed there all night taking photos and crying and trying to memorize every inch of it. I'm talking literally crying on the front lawn and feeling like I couldn't breathe. [more inside]
posted by The Hyacinth Girl on Aug 26, 2013 - 12 answers

Am I overreacting or is my friend a narcissist?

Am I overreacting or is my friend a narcissist? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Aug 17, 2013 - 21 answers

Good grief! Please give me some grief (resources).

I did my serious grieving more than two decades ago. So I am not up on the latest books, websites, etc concerning grief, loss, bereavement and making your peace with life's hard knocks. I have done a little googling and searched MeFi and I don't feel I am really getting what I want. I know these get recommended here all the time. Please help me gather them into one place. [more inside]
posted by Michele in California on Jul 13, 2013 - 4 answers

Help me live well while my father slowly dies...

My father was given a terminal diagnosis almost a decade ago. I am so lucky that he is still here. But I'm exhausted from living with the specter of his imminent death all these years. And I feel like I've been missing out on living my own life. How do I find more space for myself, even as I try to cherish the time I have with him (which now does seem to be running short)? [more inside]
posted by zahava on Jun 30, 2013 - 12 answers

I keep crying over Ian M Banks dying of cancer.

Never in my life has this happened before, but I keep finding myself in tears of grief over the looming death of Scottish writer Iain M Banks, who is far and away my favourite writer and has terminal cancer. I'm looking for ways of helping to resolve this emotion, by using it as energy to fuel a meaningful response. [more inside]
posted by Mistress on May 20, 2013 - 21 answers

Takes on wordlessness

Hi all-- I'm writing an essay that began as one about keening and the times I've been reduced to wordless cries of grief. Now it's sprawling all over the place and I'm also talking about wordlessness in general (including references to people like Meredith Monk who often sing and emote without words), and also the speech act (when it doesn't matter what is said but that it is said). I don't know how much I'll pare it down, but in the meantime I wanted to crowdsource some ideas. Does anything come to mind when you think of wordlessness, especially in the context of grief? Are there any words (from any cultures) that mean "that which cannot be expressed in words?" (Aside from more general terms like "unable to be articulated" and such.)
posted by mermaidcafe on May 7, 2013 - 15 answers

I loved him, he loved me, but it was complicated and now he's dead.

I just ended a year-long relationship two months ago with the love of my life. He was a brilliant, creative, talented and generous man with Asperger's and a long, complicated history of severe mental illness. He was an Army vet and had lived an incredible life, full of adventures but also extreme trauma and heartbreak. He killed himself on Friday. How do I go on? [more inside]
posted by cardinality on May 5, 2013 - 20 answers

How to help a grieving student?

I am a (new) professor at a small, rural university. One of my students has had to take an emergency leave due to a death in their family. Aside from assuring them that they need not think about their schoolwork at all, and that we'll work it out when they're ready, is there anything else I can do to support them? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 26, 2013 - 19 answers

Happy sad show recommendations?

I recently discovered the TV show Go On and liked it. I am wondering if you guys know of any other show (or movie) that has the same feel? [more inside]
posted by pleasebekind on Apr 4, 2013 - 22 answers

Inspiring movies to give as a gift to my brother

[Family-issue-disguised-as-gift-suggestion filter] Please give me your recommendations for humorous and inspiring movies, especially about someone taking simple, practical steps to establish a balanced life. For snowflakey reasons detailed inside, I believe such a movie might be a helpful gift for my brother given his current life circumstances. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 29, 2013 - 7 answers

What was the most comforting condolence sentence you ever heard?

Has someone important to you passed away? What was the most comforting/most respectful thing anyone said to you when that happened? I work with the elderly, who die at an accelerated rate. 98% of the time, I genuinely care about the deceased and would like to give comfort to the surviving family. Since this comes up a lot, I feel as if I'm repeating the same phrases over and over. I need more options. I'm specifically asking for things people said to you that were kind. [more inside]
posted by Lately Gone on Mar 21, 2013 - 79 answers

How did you let go and forgive after a loss and a breakup?

Death of a parent and a breakup- how to disentangle the two, get a virtual lobotomy regarding the breakup, and for heavens sake just fucking move on regarding the breakup. [more inside]
posted by xm on Feb 27, 2013 - 20 answers

My wife died. Is it OK if I *don't* want to talk about it all the time?

My wife died. Everyone keeps telling me I should have someone to talk to - a counselor or someone from hospice or whoever. I don't really feel like I need or want that, though. Am I harming myself by handling this on my own? [more inside]
posted by tylerkaraszewski on Feb 17, 2013 - 67 answers

Recurring dream

I keep having the same dream over and over. Has anyone else had this? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Feb 15, 2013 - 18 answers

How to release suppressed emotions? I need to express my sadness.

My ex-boyfriend recently broke up with me. I am normally a very emotional person but I feel... nothing. I would like some advice about how to release my bottled-up emotions over this. [more inside]
posted by sock puppetron on wheels on Feb 2, 2013 - 24 answers

I'd like to give something to my cat sitter in a horrible situation.

My cat has died, which was horrible. Worse, I wasn't even home. I'd like to send my cat sitter something. [more inside]
posted by AmandaA on Jan 8, 2013 - 9 answers

"Why do we fall, sir? So that we might learn to pick ourselves up."

Need some tips and pointers, such as those based on personal stories and experiences, regarding getting out of a deep, deep hole of endless darkness and hopelessness when the universe seems to be hell bent on bringing you down to your knees... [more inside]
posted by xm on Dec 29, 2012 - 10 answers

let there be a way to recover my stolen data from the ethers

My stolen windows laptop was recovered, but everything on it is gone. Can I regain my documents and media? [more inside]
posted by KingoftheWhales on Dec 16, 2012 - 3 answers

How to help friends deal with daughter's death?

How can I help my friends whose daughter was killed in yesterday's school shootings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 15, 2012 - 56 answers

No light at the end?

Have you ever not only been unable to see the light and the end of the tunnel, and don't care anymore if you do? [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on Dec 11, 2012 - 20 answers

It sounds like my sister's twins aren't going to make it. Now what?

Family drama: what should we be doing? This was me. Last night, my pregnant-with-twins sister went to the ER with bleeding and what felt like early contractions. [more inside]
posted by kat518 on Dec 2, 2012 - 38 answers

Broken hearted for my friend.

I'm having a rough time dealing with the recent suicide of a dear friend; looking for some resources. [more inside]
posted by socky mcsockerton on Oct 29, 2012 - 14 answers

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