227 posts tagged with grief.
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What therapeutic approach is right for me?

I need some help in seeking a therapist. Not a recommendation to a specific therapist, but some insight into various approaches. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 6, 2015 - 10 answers

How to get through heartbreak that I still can't believe is happening?

The man I love & live with, who until five days ago was saying he loved me, broke up with me the day after we got home from a weekend trip. I was shocked and am feeling scared and helpless. Please give me some tips on how to get through this thing that feels unendurable, I know there are other heartbreak threads on Metafilter and I welcome links. I also welcome advice that will help me see a way through this. The above gets to the heart of it, but big, embarrassing Snowflake below. [more inside]
posted by adastra on Oct 1, 2015 - 36 answers

I know my counselor experienced a recent loss. What to do?

I saw on social media that my therapist's mother died on Saturday. However, she has confirmed our appointment for the day after tomorrow. I am quite sad about her loss. She doesn't know I look at her social media, and it is probably not appropriate to say anything about her personal life at any rate. How do I go to session two days from now and talk about my petty problems, knowing what she is going through? Is it inappropriate for me to be very upset about this loss in my therapist's life, that I'm not supposed to know about?
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2015 - 14 answers

Experience or advice welcome.

I will soon be accompanying a close friend to Dignitas where she will end her life (she has a virulent, newly diagnosed, Stage IV lung cancer). Has anyone here been to Dignitas in a similar role, or knows of anyone who has, and can comment on the experience? Long-time Mefite posting anon as assisted suicide is illegal in our country. Many thanks.
posted by anonymous on Sep 11, 2015 - 6 answers

How do I keep going?

The last year has been filled with brutal loss and now there's more. Please help me cope with lots of death and an emotionally stunted family. [more inside]
posted by stoneweaver on Sep 10, 2015 - 10 answers

Several losses all at once

A friend of mine decided they do not want to be friends any more. Because of additional circumstances, it has also meant losing a supportive community I'd been part of for a few years. I'm surprised by the intensity of my grief and finding it difficult to cope. I am looking for resources / books / personal accounts / tips to help me get through this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2015 - 14 answers

Happy or Sad

How do I deal with my unexpected strong feelings about my estranged father's death in light of my recent discovery that I am pregnant? [more inside]
posted by dissolvedgirl22 on Jul 27, 2015 - 19 answers

Memoirs and philosophical works on death, loss

Please recommended memoirs, philosophy, and/or classics on coping with death, the meaning of life, etc. [more inside]
posted by pumpkinlatte on Jul 14, 2015 - 23 answers

Avoiding (or Re-routing) the Sad Thoughts

In serious need of ways to keep myself from dwelling on recent bad news. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 6, 2015 - 17 answers

Memorial service for mom when we are just a few people attending.

My mom is in pallative care and may pass away shortly. I'm an only child and we have no blood relatives here. The service would be attended by my husband and two teen kids plus a couple of elderly neighbors and me. What funeral service ideas are there for such a small attendance? [more inside]
posted by Coffeetyme on Jun 30, 2015 - 11 answers

Friend dumped and still struggling

About a year and a half ago I confided in my then best friend my plans to do X (where X is a generally looked down upon behavior in our society but not illegal). [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Jun 19, 2015 - 40 answers

My friend lost her baby. I'm pregnant. Should I go to the funeral?

A friend just lost her baby in the second trimester of pregnancy. She's invited me to the funeral. I want to go to support her. I cannot imagine the pain she's going through. But I'm 8 months pregnant and all is going fine. Would this be upsetting for her? [more inside]
posted by Pearl928 on Jun 9, 2015 - 28 answers

Family abandon me when I was at my lowest point. Should I cut them off?

My mother passed away last year of April and as a result I had a mental breakdown. I wasn't myself..I had overwhelming grief and I was in a deep depression. Mind you I was in a deep depression and calling out for help..my family abandon and basically treated me like a black sheep. [more inside]
posted by TheBronxGirl on May 21, 2015 - 31 answers

Aging, depressed parents in another country

A few years ago my parents, who immigrated to the US (where I was born and raised) moved back to their home country, which is in the Middle East. I'm still in the US. About a year and a half ago my only sibling died unexpectedly, causing all three of us untold amounts of grief. Now they're old, tired, and depressed in a distant country and I don't know what to do. What can I do to improve/feel better about this situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2015 - 6 answers

How to deal with complicated grief when logic isn't doing the trick?

I recently had a missed miscarriage of a very much wanted pregnancy at 12 weeks. I know logically there must have been a problem that most likely wasn't my fault, that statistically miscarriages happen in 10-20% of known pregnancies....all of that. But this isn't helping my heart - advice? [more inside]
posted by brambory on Apr 29, 2015 - 18 answers

When does this go away?

I've been separated from my husband for about 18 months. I'm with the person I left him for (that's the short version) and we're very happy. Except. I still miss my ex every day. I dream about him at least a few times a week. When does this stop? I would like to hear from those who have grieved a relationship and moved on. [more inside]
posted by outoftime on Apr 25, 2015 - 22 answers

My student lost her battle with bipolar. (triggers ahead)

I'm a high school teacher at a small, therapeutic high school for teens with emotional disabilities. Three days ago, one of my kids suddenly and with no warning committed suicide at her home. Staff found out just as the kids were coming in. We quickly prepared how we would tell the kids, and the next three days were a blur of tears, shock, some hysteria; it was all horrific. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2015 - 24 answers

Parting ways with a childhood home

I'm having trouble letting go of my childhood home that I inherited, and the lifetime of stuff inside it. I could use some advice about how to move on. [more inside]
posted by Banknote of the year on Mar 24, 2015 - 28 answers

death of a grandparent

My father was just given a very bleak prognosis. Of all the things that are upsetting, I am most distraught by the thought that my toddler will not remember my father. I am pregnant and there is a chance that my son (due in June) will never even meet my dad. I'm looking for advice on how to manage my sadness about this. [more inside]
posted by avocado_of_merriment on Mar 24, 2015 - 26 answers

Help Me Stay Busy During Grief

My father died a few days ago. Everybody is telling me that it helps to stay busy. I would like to try that, but certain life circumstances make it difficult. More inside. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Mar 24, 2015 - 16 answers

Dealing with grief and stupid things people say

My grandmother passed away last week. The viewing and funeral have already been held. I am now trying to deal with people who mean well, but say some incredibly dumb things. What are some good tactics? [more inside]
posted by intheigloo on Mar 14, 2015 - 24 answers

Coping with Trauma and the Loss of a Pet

I’m having trouble dealing with something terrible I saw involving a neighbor’s dog. I feel weird since it wasn’t my dog or my trauma, but it took me back to the night my own pet died, and I just feel awful about everything and I don’t know how to cope (warning: general description of terrible dog death under the fold). [more inside]
posted by girl flaneur on Mar 10, 2015 - 15 answers

Dying of grief after euthanizing rabbit

I had to euthanize my rabbit of five years -- and my only pet -- very suddenly. How do I even begin to recover from this? [more inside]
posted by comewithallgoodthings on Jan 19, 2015 - 51 answers

We Need Words of Encouragement

On anxiety and medication for the modern man. [more inside]
posted by polly_dactyl on Jan 13, 2015 - 17 answers

Conversation stopper

How do i deal with my cousin's "magic conversation stopper?" [more inside]
posted by IndigoRain on Dec 24, 2014 - 35 answers

How to deal with not dealing with things well

I have had a long, difficult year, and I'm starting to crack. All year, I was dealing with things pretty well and now I'm not, and I can't stop beating myself up over losing my grip. [more inside]
posted by whodatninja on Dec 22, 2014 - 18 answers

Family Drama Filter: Help me distance myself from a parent

I've come to realize over the years that while I love my father, I am so different from him, and do not share his and his wife's (he is remarried) lifestyle and values and really wish I could come to accept it and completely distance myself from them. Please help me do this. [more inside]
posted by SanSebastien on Dec 21, 2014 - 7 answers

What should the future with my ex look like?

My husband cheated on me and left me after nearly two decades of a wonderful, loving, respectful marriage. The betrayal came out of nowhere, and involved emotional and on occasion physical abuse. I can't just go no contact, because we've got a daughter, we're financially entangled, and we will be for years. I am having trouble forging a new, post-marriage relationship with him because I'm deeply hurt, raw, angry, sad, and disoriented. I also can't picture what that relationship even looks like. And he has asked to spend all day on Christmas here at the house ... I don't know if I can handle it. [more inside]
posted by Capri on Dec 21, 2014 - 66 answers

Remembering the dead

I lost my husband this year, and my adult children lost their beloved father. I would like to start a tradition for remembrance this Christmas, at a meal or at gift opening. Ideally it should be short, meaningful, and accommodating of a wide range of beliefs, from atheist, to agnostic, to believer, to alternate religion. Any suggestions?
posted by francesca too on Dec 10, 2014 - 18 answers

How is therapy supposed to help when it can't change why you are sad?

How is therapy supposed to help when it can't change why you are sad? I am in therapy for grief and it's not helping. I understand that therapy can't bring back the person I miss, but since that's the only thing I want, I can't figure out what therapy is meant to do. It would be helpful to me if I could understand at least what's SUPPOSED to happen even though it obviously isn't. [more inside]
posted by Violet Hour on Dec 3, 2014 - 38 answers

when does it end

My grandmother died two days ago. My three-year relationship ended a week before that. I'm still dealing with the trauma of a sexual assault that occurred last year. I just moved to another country for graduate school. I have people I'm friendly with, but my close friends and family are thousands of miles away. I'm scared, overwhelmed and lonely. How do I keep going? [more inside]
posted by quadrant seasons on Nov 9, 2014 - 23 answers

Grieving a mentor

A mentor of mine passed away pretty suddenly a few weeks ago. I attended her funeral, cried, wrote out some of my thoughts, and think about her from time to time while listening to music that reminds me of her. This isn't affecting my daily function, but it has been on the back burner for a while. Now what? [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Oct 31, 2014 - 8 answers

How do I overcome the grief from my cat's death

What books/activities/other resources will help me get past this horrible sadness. [more inside]
posted by Librarypt on Oct 10, 2014 - 39 answers

Physical movement-based practices for grief?

I'm nearing the two-year anniversary of my dad's death, and a close friend just lost a family member in a tragic accident. As I remember my dad and support my friend, I am craving some sort of movement-based grief ritual - an active dance, set of motions, physical practice, to do with others, potentially at my (UU) church. [more inside]
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto on Oct 7, 2014 - 10 answers

How do I manage my dream project when I'm sad and anxious?

I am faced with a hugely exciting, complex, challenging project of my own devising. It's a chance for me to build my dream and ... I'm sitting here crying instead of working. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2014 - 6 answers

What to send/do for a friend who lost her preemie?

A friend who lives far from me delivered a beautiful baby boy yesterday at 24 weeks and lost him only hours later. I would like to send her something, what should I send? [more inside]
posted by saradarlin on Aug 20, 2014 - 22 answers

Grief and the elderly

How do the elderly process loss? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2014 - 16 answers

What to say when "Fine, and you?" feels like a betrayal?

I've had a truly awful year, and in April my much beloved pet died suddenly leaving me completely devastated with guilt and grief. Among the things I no longer seem to be able to do is answer the innocuous "How are you?" question from acquaintances and colleagues. Any suggestions? [more inside]
posted by girl flaneur on Jul 31, 2014 - 42 answers

Looking for good grief support groups in NYC

My friend's Dad died earlier this year, and she's working through it. She wants to find a good grief support group in New York, preferably in lower Manhattan or Brooklyn. She works a lot, and the few she knows about meet in times when she just can't go. [more inside]
posted by WStraub on Jul 23, 2014 - 1 answer

Meal delivery service for grieving family

One of my co-workers has lost both parents within 3 months of each other. We are not super super close, and so far she hasn't accepted my offers of specific, practical things I can do to help (watching her kids, going to grocery store. etc.). I'd like to make her life a little easier anyway, so I was thinking about some kind of meal delivery service so she wouldn't need to cook for a little bit. [more inside]
posted by feathermeat on Jul 15, 2014 - 24 answers

My dog is dead, and I'm a mess

What can I do in the short and long-term to process and cope with my dog's death? [more inside]
posted by ablazingsaddle on Jun 27, 2014 - 44 answers

Finding it difficult to imagine ending cycles of self-sabotage

I keep falling into cycles of self-sabotage, with a few complicating factors. Recent academic news feels like its biggest manifestation - advice on this, and the possibility of moving past this when i go into employment. Apologies for the long read. [more inside]
posted by lethologues on Jun 17, 2014 - 3 answers

Words fail

How can I support my bereaved friend? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2014 - 25 answers

Help me emotionally support my long-distance SO

My SO and I have been a primarily long-distance relationship for 3 years. Help me help him support him emotionally. [more inside]
posted by smangosbubbles on Apr 24, 2014 - 6 answers

One date with someone who was bereaved shortly after

I've been on one date with a man whose brother died shortly afterwards. I want to support him and respect his decisions (including about whether to continue the relationship) but absolutely do not want to take advantage of his grief. I don't know how to approach this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 14, 2014 - 18 answers

How To Write a Eulogy for Somebody You Don't Know?

My sister has asked me to deliver the eulogy for my nephew at his funeral next week. He was 21 when he died of a drug overdose. I am happy to do it, but the difficulty is that I did not know him. So, I am having a hard time getting started... [more inside]
posted by The Blue Olly on Apr 9, 2014 - 14 answers

Supporting a grieving partner - what do you wish you'd known?

I am struggling and I don't know how to handle this and not make myself completely miserable along the way [more inside]
posted by lifethatihavenotlivedyet on Apr 8, 2014 - 21 answers

What can be done for situational depression that won't go away?

What can be done for situational depression/adjustment disorder that never ends? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2014 - 14 answers

Oh vei? Oy wey?

I'm looking for quotes, aforisms, dialogues, pondering, tracts and other worthwhile texts on the subject of suffering. [more inside]
posted by monocultured on Feb 23, 2014 - 11 answers

What does "I don't want to talk about it" mean, practically speaking?

A dear friend of mine who lives far away has lost two of her three cats to sudden, upsetting illness, in the space of a week. She has implied that she's not interested in talking about it, which I can understand. [more inside]
posted by Sokka shot first on Jan 8, 2014 - 20 answers

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