275 posts tagged with grief.
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Gift Ideas for My Widowed Sister?

What are some practical gift ideas for my recently widowed sister? [more inside]
posted by wintermute2_0 on Dec 10, 2016 - 9 answers

Unable to get past my grief over the election results

I have major depressive disorder, comorbid with anxiety. I have a therapist whom I see weekly. I have a prescriber whom I see monthly. We talk about this. But I still wake up every morning and experience about 20 seconds of normalcy before horrific reality sets in, and all of the grief and fear ratchets up. [more inside]
posted by tzikeh on Dec 4, 2016 - 39 answers

Whatever could it be / that has brought me to this loss?

In a year full of grief, I’m searching for music, writing, and art to get me through. Please share what was meaningful for you in working through your own grief. [more inside]
posted by Synesthesia on Dec 3, 2016 - 10 answers

How do I Christmas?

This will be my first Christmas season without my mother, and I am not sure how to celebrate. [more inside]
posted by Archipelago on Dec 1, 2016 - 10 answers

Dying grandparent, a toddler, and Thanksgiving

My father in law has end stage terminal cancer and intends to die at home--talking days/weeks. My wife and I will be going for a Thanksgiving visit in a couple of weeks with our 2.5 year old, who loves her grandfather very much. He is not going to be in good shape, and may well pass away while we're there. Help?! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2016 - 28 answers

Comfort when your hero "dies."

Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by weeyin on Nov 13, 2016 - 14 answers

Help Me Conquer Fear, Death, and the Unknown!

I am interested in pursuing a career in grief counseling and want to hear from Mefis in similar work about the reality of accomplishing this. [more inside]
posted by Lipstick Thespian on Nov 4, 2016 - 4 answers

How do I deal with the pain/guilt of not keeping in touch with family?

I have social anxiety, and I've put off calling my family members (other than my Mom) for years because I'm afraid/don't know what to say/think they'll reject me. Now it looks like one of them doesn't have much longer to live. How do I not hate myself for putting off getting in touch? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Oct 21, 2016 - 11 answers

How do I turn my mother's house into my home?

My mother passed away over the winter, and now I am alone (except for two cats and the squirrels in the attic) in the house we've shared for years. I'll be staying in the house for a year or two, and I'm trying to figure out ways to make the house feel like *mine*, not my mother's house that I happen to live in. [more inside]
posted by Archipelago on Oct 21, 2016 - 12 answers

Break my daughter's heart or get sicker

I have come to the realisation that I can no longer safely or humanely look after the 2 cats my daughter grew up with. It is not fair to them, my neighbours, my landlord, and I am unwell and it is difficult for me. But my daughter has gone through so much in the past few years, bulimia, OCD, anxiety, depression, at least 2 rapes, her grandmother died, her father went to prison for a horrible crime. She can't take the cats on, she lives in a high rise on a limited income. There is no one else. I can't face telling her that I need to find a new home for them, and causing her more grief, but I can't keep doing this. It's too hard. I also love the cats but I'm not being a good enough kitty mama. What do I do?
posted by anonymous on Oct 21, 2016 - 15 answers

If you wanna be somebody else, change your mind?

How do I cope with a change in my mindset about my relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 6, 2016 - 16 answers

Suggestions for (temporarily) deferring immediate physical grieving?

I need some quick potential solutions for compartmentalizing grief, at least for a little while. More beanplating in the extended. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2016 - 9 answers

Terminal Brain Cancer When You're Down and Out

My roommate's partner, who is a close friend of mine, has stage III terminal brain cancer. He has been symptom free for almost a year but he has recently been showing signs of the cancer advancing, including seizures. He is terrified of dealing with the system of getting treatment, and has been turned down for disability even though he is unable to work because of the cancer. How can we help? [more inside]
posted by ananci on Sep 23, 2016 - 10 answers

Another grieving process question

Another grieving process question: Since my dad died, I've had difficulty getting along with my mother. What's going on, and how do I make sure our relationship does not become permanently weakened? [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Sep 22, 2016 - 6 answers

He loves me, but he can't open up

My partner of 2.5 years can’t talk to me about the most significant relationship of his life. I want to understand this better. [more inside]
posted by yawper on Sep 16, 2016 - 31 answers

Why can't I be angry?

I was dating someone I really liked for a few months. He ended things by saying via text we needed to talk, and then ignoring my texts (one in which which I agreed to talk and one in which, after several days had passed, I reiterated that I was available to talk). I know he is alive because I saw him once when I was out (we did not acknowledge or speak to each other, though I'm sure he saw me too). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 28, 2016 - 12 answers

Should I refund contributions for my cat's pancreatitis fundraiser?

We started a fundraiser to help pay for my kitty's hospitalization, but he died less than a day into the campaign. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by Menomena on Aug 27, 2016 - 23 answers

Guilt and sadness

About six weeks ago, a friend/ex-fwb wrote a facebook message to me that made me uncomfortable - it sexualized our friendship and didn't respect the boundaries I had set for it. This was after a few times when I had told him he was going too far, and I finally laid into him. 4 weeks later, he committed suicide. I have so many weird feelings about this, and I want advice about processing the death of someone and the guilt I feel about my last interactions with him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 21, 2016 - 12 answers

My dad died and I don't want to do anything

My dad died. I have so much to do in the aftermath of his passing... but I just don't want to do anything. I've always been a procrastinator, but never to this degree. Please help me come up with a game plan. [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Jul 25, 2016 - 14 answers

How do you get over the anxiety of starting a new relationship?

...if the last one was awful. I'm 25 F. My parents are divorced and had a very abusive relationship. I don't speak with (or have a relationship with) my dad as a result. I'm not really sure what a healthy relationship looks like. My friends (and family) are mostly single. My first and only serious relationship was a complete disaster. [more inside]
posted by Femiluv on Jul 19, 2016 - 10 answers

Is it time to see the doctor?

For years Ive suffered with anxiety, grief and trauma talking with a friend this year I realise Im carrying a lot of grief and trauma I live in an area where natural disaster happened (5-7 years ago) a lot.Tonight I was just about throwing up in the bathroom I should of really let myself throw up not to gross you out but I was holding it back... let griefs process happen [more inside]
posted by re on Jul 2, 2016 - 13 answers

I'm not ready to lose my father, I don't want to be alone

My father has been diagnosed with cancer and will probably die within the next year (two years if we're lucky), all I think about is about his impending death. I'm an only child and, to me, his death will mean that I'm completely alone in the world. I am so scared of losing him, but I am literally helpless. I feel like I'm waiting for him to die and I don't know how to cope with it. Any advice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 2, 2016 - 12 answers

Dealing with Unexpected Death

Last week my Mom died very unexpectedly. It doesn't feel real. How can I start believing it so it doesn't crash in on me later? [more inside]
posted by aclevername on Jun 21, 2016 - 21 answers

My friend died and I can't forgive myself

I found out last week that someone I considered one of my closest friends had died. I feel incredibly guilty because, towards the end, I wasn't there for her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2016 - 20 answers

Help me help my favourite person.

How can I help a young child who has recently lost a parent? [more inside]
posted by futureisunwritten on May 26, 2016 - 21 answers

Grief at work

How the fuck do I handle grief and grief police? [more inside]
posted by vers on May 22, 2016 - 24 answers

What to do about Bob the cat (lung cancer diagnosis)

My 11-year-old cat most likely has lung cancer with a poor prognosis. Aside from the heartbreak, I don’t know how to proceed in terms of surgery versus no surgery. [more inside]
posted by cat friend on May 5, 2016 - 14 answers

How to support my grieving mother when I'm grieving too?

My mother is not coping well with my grandmother's impending death. My mother and I have a complicated and not particularly close relationship, and her coping style is hitting a lot of nerves about the crappier aspects of my childhood and I'm finding it really difficult to support her while keeping my own head above water. Any advice or stories from people who can relate would be appreciated. Wall of snowflakes below the cut. [more inside]
posted by hotcoroner on May 2, 2016 - 9 answers

How to start caring again

He died and I'm feeling stuck. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2016 - 14 answers

In need of words of comfort in the face of godless loss.

I'm an atheist and need (short) words of comfort for my grief. Bulleted list, haiku, your own account in 100 words or less, real articles, books. I have Frankl. [more inside]
posted by cotton dress sock on Apr 24, 2016 - 29 answers

Grieving family from a distance

How do you do it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2016 - 10 answers

Resources for dealing with the loss of an alcoholic parent

My father is in end-stage liver failure due to alcoholism, and I'm having trouble finding good books/websites/forums/etc. for dealing with the emotional component of this situation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2016 - 10 answers

You Are Not My Therapist, but... Grief: Am I Doin' It Right?

Hey, remember me? My family is still dead! It's two months later and I'm past the dead-eyed shock, numbness, and denial, and well into the "life is not worth living and I just want to stay in bed all day" portion of the rest of my life. Is it reasonable to give in to that urge, or should I be forcing myself to write and play the autoharp and generally Give A Crap? [more inside]
posted by missrachael on Mar 28, 2016 - 23 answers

I'm Too Old for This Shit - Life Catastrophe Edition

My marriage is unsatisfying and problematic, I am in treatment for breast cancer, and the affair that was taking my mind off of these problems seems to be slowly, painfully fading. I turn 40 in a few days and my entire life is a disaster. How on earth do I cope with all of this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 6, 2016 - 18 answers

Help me not be defined by my losses

I let the losses of loved ones, which I have experienced quite a lot over the years, define who I am and how I behave. I'm in therapy and working on it, but I'm looking for advice from people who fear losing others on how to deal with that ever-present shadow. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Mar 1, 2016 - 9 answers

Supporting a friend putting his cat down.

I've been supporting a friend with major mental health issues through finding out his cat was sick. It's been a rough ride for both of us and now he's finally decided that it's time to put her down later today. He's asked me to help him so I thought it would be a good idea of I knew what's going to happen and what kind of things people found helpful to them at this sad time. [more inside]
posted by kanata on Feb 28, 2016 - 26 answers

Growing up... figuratively, of course.

Have had some not-so-great previous years, some ongoing struggles, and more anticipated in coming years/decades. All of this has brought me face to face with my worst personality traits as well as given me a chance to work hard on the things I'd really like to change going forward and give myself a fresh start, so to speak. Is there a manual, road map or something for acquiring the most elusive of traits? Interested in anecdotes, from those in their late thirties and beyond, of personal journey in developing maturity. [more inside]
posted by xm on Feb 9, 2016 - 17 answers

Help me be as supportive as possible while pregnant and full of anxiety

I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my first child. Meanwhile, my sweetie's father is succumbing to cancer (so, by the way, is my stepmom, whom I love dearly). I'm interested in tips on how to cope with tough stuff like this while pregnant, how to both be supportive and get the support I need right now. [more inside]
posted by Lisitasan on Feb 5, 2016 - 11 answers

How do I handle communications with friends of my deceased father?

My father passed away quite suddenly in December 2014. Do I need to help all his close, personal friends through their grief while I'm still grieving myself? [more inside]
posted by nubianinthedesert on Feb 3, 2016 - 13 answers

Life keeps kicking me in the teeth. How do I stay resilient?

In the past five years, I've suffered a staggering number of losses, combined with generally stressful situations. I don't want to let it destroy me, but I feel like I'm running out of coping mechanisms. [more inside]
posted by missrachael on Jan 31, 2016 - 15 answers

Useful Guidance for An Unexpected Loss

I emailed my therapist for an appointment, and it bounced. When I googled her to see if contact info changed, the first link was her obit (Nov 2015). My therapist died. I just found out, and I am pretty wrecked. Thoughts? [more inside]
posted by j_curiouser on Jan 28, 2016 - 11 answers

What can I do for my friend whose father just passed away?

My best friend's dad just died last night. Fortunately, he flew in from NY to TX to be able to be by his side at the time of his death. He and his family are Chinese. What can I do from afar (I am in DC) to help / support him, and also to offer condolences in a more formal way? Send flowers? Food? [more inside]
posted by bengalibelle on Jan 22, 2016 - 14 answers

The thing that can't replace the thing

What small special experiences or things or brief travels might help in a grieving process (for someone who's already got great emotional and structural support)? [more inside]
posted by kalapierson on Jan 16, 2016 - 8 answers

How to make decisions while going through grief

Our sweet 7 year old kitty died yesterday after a fight with aggressive cancer. My spouse and I need to find ways to function. [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Jan 7, 2016 - 12 answers

How to help a grieving elderly cat?

I just suddenly lost the younger of my two cats to an aggressive cancer. (The cat who just died is on the right, the survivor is on the left.) Aside from being heartbroken myself, I'm extremely worried about the other 14 year old cat. He and she were largely inseparable, and had been together 11 years. How do I help him in the short term and what would your best advice be about the long term? [more inside]
posted by frumiousb on Dec 19, 2015 - 12 answers

Deciding whether to resume contact with an estranged friend

My childhood best friend decided to marry her partner of 20 years five weeks after my former partner committed suicide. I attended the reception but it was very hard for me. I haven’t spoken to her since. Today I got a Christmas card from her mother, and it stirred up some feelings I haven't been able to reconcile yet. [more inside]
posted by cardinality on Dec 19, 2015 - 28 answers

Pet loss & grief... if you've been there, a few questions for you

It really sucks, doesn't it. [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Nov 23, 2015 - 30 answers

Can this (common law) marriage be saved?

My partner (32, male) and I (31, female) have been having the worst year of our lives. We've been together for six years, but the last year has been one horrible thing after another. Our relationship is suffering and it's become difficult for us to spend time together without conflict. My partner has just about given up because he feels like all we do is fight. I think that our relationship is worth saving but I'm not sure what more we can do. How can we right what seems like a sinking ship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 26, 2015 - 22 answers

What therapeutic approach is right for me?

I need some help in seeking a therapist. Not a recommendation to a specific therapist, but some insight into various approaches. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 6, 2015 - 10 answers

How to get through heartbreak that I still can't believe is happening?

The man I love & live with, who until five days ago was saying he loved me, broke up with me the day after we got home from a weekend trip. I was shocked and am feeling scared and helpless. Please give me some tips on how to get through this thing that feels unendurable, I know there are other heartbreak threads on Metafilter and I welcome links. I also welcome advice that will help me see a way through this. The above gets to the heart of it, but big, embarrassing Snowflake below. [more inside]
posted by adastra on Oct 1, 2015 - 36 answers

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