Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with greed

Enough about me, what about you?

Anonymous — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 09:49:43 -0800

How can I stop feeling bad for myself when something good happens to one of my friends? Today one of my friends had something extraordinary happen to him, something that is best defined as "crazy good", and I am proud of him, know he put lots of hard work into it, etc.

But this also brought up the green monster in me. This happens a lot, I have trouble being genuinely happy for other people because I was raised to be very competitive, and to always fight to be the best. So while great things happen to total strangers on a daily basis, when something good happens to a friend (be it an award, a promotion, a huge cash bonus, etc.) I can't help but feel jealous.

The closer someone's success is to my own life (they work in the same field, they achieve something I'd wanted to, they make money) it is even worse.

I'm wondering how to get past the "me" part of all this so I can just genuinely celebrate the success of those close to me.

How legal is it for the MI company to require a promissory note on a short sale?

Anonymous — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 15:11:02 -0800

Is it legal for a Mortgage Insurance company (non-lien-holding) to require a promissory note of $20,000 in order to approve a short sale on a house? House is in Florida, mortgage is for $240k, buyer offer is for $104k, Countrywide has approved the short sale and signed off on everything. Mortgage Insurance company is mucking things up and requiring us to sign a $20k promissory note in order for them to sign off. (If I had 20 grand, don't you think I'd be paying my mortgage?)

If Fannie Mae isn't filing claims on the MI companies these days (according to Countrywide and others), it seems to me that the MI companies are just lining their pockets. How is this legal? And on what grounds do I fight it?

Love and Money

Anonymous — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:12:41 -0800

My husband of five months and I have different attitudes towards money. He’s more money conscious that I am, at least, that’s what he calls it. I think of his “money-consciousness” as a cross between minor cheapness and money obsession. I am right now at a crossroads in the relationship and I don’t know how to solve it or whether I should even continue it. His behaviors:

- On our first date he insisted we split the bill. Ever since he’s behaving in a way that means that we always have to be even. Everything has to be split evenly, if I owe him money, he makes sure to remind me to repay it, etc. While he insists on us being even – the insistence is only on the occasions that benefit his interest. If the imbalance is such that I pay for it and if I tell him not to worry about it, he never protests or insists that he should return money to me/pay me back. One example – we were splitting the cost of groceries, I suggested that we adjust the percentage from 50/50 to 60/40 since he’s a man and he eats much more that I do. He essentially ridiculed me for this idea. Another example, we were splitting the cost of Christmas gifts for our parents, at some point he started acting weird and instead of splitting the cost of digital camera (for my mom and dad) as we agreed on, he suggested he’ll pay just for the memory card (about 45 euros). When I asked him if he was serious, he asked me: “What? It’s not enough?” We fought. I found his response just wrong on many, many levels – he didn’t really see anything wrong with it.

- Recently, he told me that his aunt has given us an amount of money (about 10,000 euros) to start our life together (buy furniture for the new apartment etc.). He said she gave him the money and told him to spend it on things we need – the attached card is addressed to both of us. Immediately he started planning on how to spend it – some should go to furniture and the rest towards a new car for him (b/c he needs one). When I jokingly pointed out that he shouldn’t be so fast with spending it b/c it’s for both of us, he sarcastically asked me if he should wire me half of it. The next day he expressed some doubts whether the money was in fact for us because she actually gave it to him and after all she is his aunt, not mine. We got in a fight (to me it’s not the matter of money, since I didn’t expect it and don’t really need it, but what infuriated me is that he said it was for us and then went back on it – it makes me feel like he’s greedy and would screw me over for money)

- A few times I heard him say that he would do something slightly unethical for more money. For example, he was entitled to a tax relief but needed to obtain a copy of my lease. It looked like for various reasons he wouldn’t be able to get a copy. To which he suggested that he will just fake the lease and submit it with his tax statement. Other examples include getting paid twice for an interview and not returning the money after noticing the mistake. Then wondering whether he should return it after the company contacted him asking for refund (we’re talking about around 500 euros). These things bother me – I find them dishonest.

My behaviors:

- I don’t think we need to be even all the time. I think that with time it evens out anyway. If I see something he would like – like a nice watch for 200 euros, or a book for 20, I will buy it for him and give it to him without any occasion. Lately, due to his behavior, I feel like I don’t really want to spontaneously get things for him anymore.

- I am relatively responsible with money. I have a lot of savings (as does he) and neither one of us has any debts. We both earn quite a bit, although his salary is higher. We have separate accounts and no joint assets. I do not have the cutthroat attitude to get more money and search for occasions that would make me richer like he does (on some level I admire him for this attitude b/c it will assure his wealth but on another I despise him when he applies this attitude to me).

- When push comes to shove, I tend to have too much pride and say – You can stick your money. Take your aunt’s 10,000 grand, I’m not entitled to it and I don’t even want it. You’re haggling with me over splitting the cost of Christmas gifts for my parents? Screw you, I’ll pay for everything myself – I don’t need anything from you. He usually doesn’t protest and I think is secretly happy about me telling him not to contribute.

Additional Background:

- He comes from a family that was never very affluent but at the same time not poor (parents are both teachers – they lead a comfortable life, but nothing too crazy). My parents are rather rich and I will potentially inherit a lot of money (currently though, I am completely on my own and don’t receive any money from them, apart from an occasional Christmas/Birthday gift). I think some differences in our approach to money may come from what our families have (or don’t have) and the inherent sense of in/security in this. However, even though I can find this an extenuating circumstance, I find his behavior very off-putting. I feel like I can’t trust him with money – I am at a point where I want him to sign a postnuptial agreement specifying that all gifts/inheritance received from my family will be solely mine (because in case things go bad, I feel that he’ll try to get every last penny out of me). On one hand I feel he’s backed me into this corner with his behavior – on the other I feel like this is not a way to live nor to start your marriage. It disturbs me that my normally trusting and easygoing brain is sending me signs that I should protect myself just in case. This makes me actually rethink whether we should stay married (it is such a contentious issue for me and so strong of a sentiment) even though I love him very much and have no doubt that he loves me.

So here I come hive mind, to ask for advice on how to change this situation. How to show to my husband that his behavior is wrong? Also, to verify whether it is in fact wrong or am I some naïve, oversensitive drama queen. Maybe everyone is the way he is and I’m just the odd person who just simply doesn’t know how to take care of her business and has a deluded vision of what is right. (In that case, please provide me with advice on how to be more assertive about money and how to be more more like him). Also, any insights from people who were in similar situation and managed to change it or failed at changing it, would be appreciated. Any advice on changing his or my behavior that will lead to a happy ending would be great.

My throwaway email address is metanony@yahoo.com

Help me impart to a 15-year-old that material possessions aren't everything.

IndigoRain — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 21:08:59 -0800

Help me impart to a 15-year-old (not my child) that material possessions aren't everything. He's got so much and still wants more. I've been babysitting for my neighbor's 15-year-old since he was 6 months old. (Now, I watch his 3-year-old brother, and there is a 12-year-old sister too.) While I'm not his parent, I am somewhat of a major influence to him. We were having dinner the other night (myself and his family) and an interesting discussion ensued.

He asked his mom for some expensive item or another, and these facts were revealed. He owns 65 shirts (his mom counted a few weeks ago) from not-cheap stores like Hollister, all of which fit him. For Christmas, he got a 22-inch LCD TV for his bedroom, his parents put cable in both the kids' rooms, and he got a $300 cell phone (at full price because they already had a plan). They own a horse, which is stabled for $350 a month - he barely spends time with it, and he wants another one. His 18-month-old iPod Nano had a problem today (white lines across the screen), and when I offered to look it up on the internet to see if it was fixable, he said no, he'd rather have a new one, and immediately called his mom and asked for one. (She said not right now.) Last week he went to New York on the school's band & choir trip, which cost $1500. He's 15 and will be getting his permit this summer, and expects to get his dad's truck, and his dad to get a new truck. I don't think his dad has that planned.

The other night I was driving him somewhere, and he said, "You know what's cool? Getting your parents to buy you stuff." I didn't say anything, but because I watch the 3-year-old, I know that the family has debt collectors calling all day, since at least November. (The father told me it is just a disputed charge on a credit card... I don't know if that's true. I didn't ask - he volunteered the information.)

Is there any way I can impart to him that possessions aren't everything, and perhaps that he is very fortunate compared to other kids his age? I don't want to "cross the line" and embarrass the family about the debt collection. I know that some things aren't any of my business, but I'd just like a way to show him, "hey, you've got a lot of great stuff right now, don't be greedy."

Evil Partner

Anonymous — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 07:25:48 -0800

How do I deal with a business partnership dissolution that is rapidly getting incredibly ugly? (Both emotionally and legally.) Two years ago, I bought 20% of a business (corp) from the then-only owner. Over the past six months, her behavior to me and the employees became increasingly erratic and verbally abusive. I chose to end the partnership, consistent with the terms of our contract, which states that she must repurchase my shares.

Because I felt that it might smooth the process, and I wanted to encourage her to pay me via a lump-sum rather than over the 10 years allowd by the contract, I asked her to make me an offer.

Well, her offer just came through and it's for less than half of what I originally paid. Moreover, her offer includes veiled accusations of financial malfeasance on my part, and veiled threats. All of this is complete crap, which I can substantiate. She's also alleged that I reduced the value of the company (despite the fact that an independent appraiser disagreed).

I hate this woman. I am burning with anger. I want to make her life as difficult as possible, legally of course. On the other hand, I realize for my personal sake, I would be better off behaving professionally and letting my representative (family attorney, unfortunately not licensed in my state but well able to negotiate on my behalf and help me avoid litigation) negotiate with hers.

In the meantime, though, I supposedly have a week and a half more of work, wrapping up projects and ensuring a smooth transition. I am not going to be able to be in the same room with this person, let alone work with her, primarily because she impugned my ethics-- I already knew she was greedy and a bitch.

What do I do? If she's going to end up giving me nothing (or virtually nothing), why should I make this transition smooth? On the other hand, I would like to receive my last paycheck. And, how do I get out of this without having a nervous breakdown? I can't sleep (been up since 4), eat, or relax.

Help! I realize there are a couple of issues here-- the legal partnership issues are being dealt with, I think, but I am concerned about slander as well, if she tells people these lies about me it could significantly damage me. I feel like I am being blackmailed, to be honest. (Note the numbers here are fairly small, in the 10-30k range, so litigation is really to be avoided.)

But...what do I do? How do I deal?

Children's book illustration styled movie/fable?

truenorth — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 21:52:50 -0800

I'm looking for a short online movie featuring children's book style illustration, descriptive labels floating above every labelable thing throughout (tree, rabbit, grass, knife, etc.), and a rather gruesome storyline about the wages of greed. A boy and girl are playing in a field and the boy winds up killing a rabbit with his slingshot. The rabbit turns into a jewel (or some other valuable thing) after it dies. The boy and girl then go on a killing spree, eventually killing a cow, which is depicted in great anatomical detail. They carry their riches home and somehow 'create' a troll that likes jam and turns flies into diamonds. And so on. Almost everything in the film has a label floating above it, like an old children's book.

It was done so originally that I'm kicking myself for not saving the link the first time I saw it. Did anyone else see this? If so, the link would be much appreciated!

How can I make dosh in WoW?

malpractice — Thu, 18 May 2006 22:27:01 -0800

Auction House speculation in World of Warcraft. Since I started saving for my mount I've found that more gold can be made by purchasing and re-selling items on the AH than by repeatedly farming instances. I've only found a few items that are really worth looking for, like swifthistle, or perfect deviate scales. It's been slow but quite rewarding.

What other items should I be looking for? I'm playing Horde - are there any items I can sell at the neutral AH for dizzying profits? Does anyone have any gold-making secrets?

Thanks in advance!

Lux et Veritas : Can my apartment windows be blocked over?

Skygazer — Fri, 20 Jan 2006 11:34:05 -0800

Looks like the one story warehouse next door has been put up FOR SALE. Problem is that if a building goes up in its stead, two of my windows will be covered over. Do I have any rights or say in the matter? I rent an apartment on the top story of a three story tenement in East Williamsburg Brooklyn. The property line is flush with the warehouse. I do have other windows other then the two in question. The NYC Dept. Of Buildings website has nothing about what a friend has termed "air rights" or "sightline" issues. Am I screwed? After 10 years making this neighborhood a real home have the wolves of the rapacious and brutish Real Estate industry arrived at my doorstep to entomb me w/o proper natural light? Any advice would helpful. Thank you.