Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with gratuity

Holiday Tipping for Server

MeetMegan — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:10:18 -0800

What kind of holiday tip/gift should I give a server I see regularly (once a week) and regularly tip 30%? I saw my favorite server last night, and he pressed me to schedule my next meal so that he could "see me before the holidays." That reminded me that I'd like to get/give him something for the holidays. What's the protocol on this? Should I just provide him a larger tip? Is a gift appropriate? If so, how much/what kind?

This is an upscale restaurant. Two of us dine together (myself and my brother) and we regularly spend $70+ and tip very well (30%+). We see Bill about three-four times a month.

Thanks for your help!

Tipping the lawn service?

faustessa — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 16:03:53 -0800

How much are we expected to tip our lawn service? I've never heard of tipping a lawn service before, but then we usually do our own yard work. We hired a crew to do some clean up work, and the invoice says that if we'd like to leave a tip, not to tip individual guys but to include a tip with the total bill.

I have no idea how much is appropriate. I do know that "nothing" is definitely an option, but these guys responded quickly, gave us a great price, fit us in to their schedule right away, and they have done a great job. I'd like to recognize that, plus I'd like to grease the wheels for scheduling future work.

Compressed schedule moving tips?

Riki tiki — Tue, 12 May 2009 12:27:20 -0800

Compressed schedule move (from Seattle), advice? I have to move on very short notice, like within the next few days. I had enough notice to arrange for movers and vehicle transport and whatnot, but I'm freaking a bit at how much I still have left since this is not only on a time crunch but it's my first big move, period.

Of immediate concern: my vehicle is getting picked up today, any advice there? I'm going to clear everything personal out of the car, but I'm thinking of the stuff I'm not going to think about until it's too late. Do I tip the guy who picks it up? Is there anything I *should* leave in the car?

Of slightly-less-immediate concern: I'd like to purge a lot of stuff rather than move it cross-country. I'd love to donate some of the stuff (large desk, big screen TV with stand, sofa) rather than junk it, but have yet to find a place that will take them. Any suggestions of a Seattle charity that would take objects like that on very short notice? Are there any other options besides junking and donating that could be accomplished at a reasonable cost so quickly?

Special treatment at a restaurant

dublin — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:26:32 -0800

If you know the chef and therefore get some special treatment, how do you respond? I am dining out Sat night at a higher end restaurant. We know the exec chef who helped us get last minute reservations, but she is more of an acquaintance. I expect she will send us out some extras, etc and perhaps get a little nicer treatment because we know her, and I am wondering if there is a protocol for how to handle. Do we tip extra even though the gratuity will not go to her? Just want be gracious for the super generous and kind treatment. thanks.

Does one tip one's car detailer?

danny the boy — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 21:37:57 -0800

Does one tip one's car detailer? When I went to regular car washes, I tipped the employees directly, either to the guy that handed me the keys, or into the tip jar that the whole crew shared.

I wash my own car now, but I'm taking it in for a detailing job tomorrow. This is a pretty high end place, they'll be working on it all day and the cost is ~$300. There's the owner, and a couple of guys. I'm pretty sure I'll only be interacting with the owner. Do I tip in this situation? My gut is telling me 'no', that at this level a tip is not expected--I wouldn't tip my mechanic and their hourly rates are not dissimilar...

Tipping maintenance workers?

anotherpanacea — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 10:13:48 -0800

Tipping maintenance work? We've recently moved into a large apartment complex, where there's on-site, salaried maintenance staff that handles most repairs. We had a lot of trouble when we first moved in, and the guy who fixed everything was really prompt and helpful. For instance, he came in at 1 AM on our first night to fix a leak in the bathroom ceiling.

Since then, we've had a few smaller issues, and though he's promised to deal with them, he's failed to follow through for weeks at a time. He's unfailingly polite, but I'm wondering if maybe we were supposed to tip and he's giving us the cold-service-shoulder in hopes that we'll get the message.

So: is it expected that one tip maintenance workers for each job (I know that Christmas gifts are expected) and if so, how much? Or should I simply call the building management and complain?

tipping at an open bar

Elsa — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 10:43:38 -0800

How much to tip at an open bar? A quick search turns up lots of advice, but it sounds stingy to me, and I'd like feedback from more discriminating bargoers. The Google concensus seems to be $1 for each drink from an open bar (in the U.S.). That sounds low, but I don't know what a proper tip would be: X dollars a round? X dollars a drink? the full price I would expect the drinks to cost?

Does your open-bar tip vary based on location? If it's a wedding reception in a catering hall or club, do you tip less (or more?) than at a private party in a restaurant or bar?

Tipping on a concierge floor.

MeetMegan — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 15:45:09 -0800

How to tip on a "Gold" or Conceirge floor? Ok, so I am so lucky that my firm paid for me to go to an AWESOME hotel in an AWESOME city (VANCOUVER - meetup anyone?) - and not only that, but they paid to upgrade me to a "gold" floor in my hotel. It's a concierge floor.

How do I tip on this floor? Do I tip every time I talk to a concierge? When they do something special? When I leave? Grr, this is driving me nuts!

Thank you!

(Also, if tips are different in Canada from the U.S., please share.)

Issues with my Wedding DJ

elbaso — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 10:50:22 -0800

After my wedding a few weeks ago, I found out that my DJ had eaten a full 3-course meal, instead of the much cheaper vendor meal he was supposed to have (he also took the vendor meal). I stopped payment on his check, and sent another for the amount less the cost of the vendor meal and the $50 gratuity I had given him. They're now sending my original check to collections. Am I in the wrong? What should I do? Description of Events:
We had our wedding a few weeks ago, and we had hired a DJ for our entertainment. The evening went alright, and at the end of the night, we paid the DJ with a check, to which we added a $50 gratuity.

I find out a couple of days later that the DJ had had a full three-course meal (like the rest of the guests). Now, we had arranged for all of our vendors to have a vendor meal, which cost $25, and not the full dinner courses, which were $140 per person. The DJ had the full three-course dinner, and took his vendor meal home with him.
He claims that my mother-in-law invited him to sit down and eat the dinner, but she says that wasn't true, that he claimed the dinner by telling her "This is mine" at an empty place at her table.

Fallout:
So, later in the week, I called the DJ's boss, and explained the situation with him. He called his DJ, who said that he was invited to have the dinner, and, naturally, sided with him. He was yelling at my wife and my mother-in-law when they were on the phone, and was calling my mother-in-law a liar for not admitting that she invited the DJ to dinner.

Initially, I had wanted to deduct the $140 cost of the dinner from his paycheck. My wife and I then decided that, since it could have been an honest mistake that the DJ didn't know that he was to have a vendor meal (it came to him later in the evening), that we would deduct the cost of the vendor meal (since he took both meals), along with the gratuity (since we didn't like being yelled at by his boss). The total amount we were deducting was less than 5% of the total fee for the DJ.

I put a stop-payment on the check that I had given the DJ (it hadn't been deposited yet), and sent another check for the amount less the cost of the vendor meal and the gratuity.

The DJ's boss received the check (which I had sent registered mail), but never cashed it. He's sending my original check for the full amount and gratuity to collections, claiming that it's going to ruin my credit rating.

My question is: am I in the wrong for stopping the payment on the initial check and sending him another for a lesser amount? Do I have a case to argue with the collection agency and to try to save my credit? How much damage can the DJ's boss really do to my credit?
Can the DJ really include the gratuity in the amount sent to collections? If I end up having to pay the DJ the whole amount, can I still withhold the gratuity, or am I legally bound to pay it to them since it was included in the original check? The gratuity was optional, and not on the invoice.

Thanks for any help.

Should I tip my attorney?

SMELLSLIKEFUN — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 18:14:14 -0800

Should I give my lawyer a gratuity for acting as a broker in the sale of my business? I am the active partner in a small company (less than $10mil sales per yr). I have received an unsolicited offer for our company. In the early stages of the negotiations I discussed trying to find a business broker to negotiate for me. Due to the relatively small size of the deal (to a broker, not to me!) my attorney offered to broker the deal, as well as handle all the legal aspects, all for his regular hourly fees.

Since then he has hinted, twice, that it is not unusual for a gratified client to give their attorney, in cases specifically like this one, a gratuity. He has done an excellent job representing me. He has saved me a lot of money, but he also declined a contract for brokering the deal. A broker would have taken a minimum of$4-600,000.00+ as a commission. I think he may have earned a tip, and it would come from my part of the proceeds of the sale.

So, the question is a two parter...Is it a real practice to tip your attorney? And if so how should I come up with a figure???

Cash Cab Tipper?

gregoryc — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 17:12:04 -0800

Do (can?) people tip Ben Bailey, the driver of the Cash Cab? Looking for answers from people who have been on the show (or some other authoritative source), not just personal opinions. Thanks.

How much to tip the Peapod delivery person?

Ø — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 21:25:50 -0800

How much to tip the Peapod delivery person? Their web site dodges the question: "Gratuities for Peapod drivers are optional and at your discretion." (isn't a gratuity by definition optional and at one's discretion?!)

So, my fellow MeFites, what would you say is typical?

Should I tip extra for room service?

aberrant — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 07:25:15 -0800

Tipping Etiquette: hotel room service. Assume room service dinner with a $2.50 delivery charge and an 18% gratuity automatically added to the bill. Should I be tipping IN ADDITION to these charges? If so, how much? If not, why's there a blank line for gratuity above my signature?

Is there a Gratuity Index?

Steve_at_Linnwood — Mon, 05 Dec 2005 11:08:15 -0800

Does anyone have a good resource (book, magazine article, web site, etc) that shows what the etiquette is for tipping in difference circumstances? I know the common ones (dinner, cab drivers, etc) but for the first time I have to tip my paper delivery person. In the past my paper was thrown out side the apartment building's lobby door with everyone else's (often in the snow).

But the place I am living at now, the paper is delivered to my door, inside the building. Sunday an envelope and a card wishing me "Happy Holidays" was left with the paper.

So, is there a source that lists how much a person should give in gratuity for difference circumstances?

Gratuity for judges?

peep — Sat, 07 May 2005 13:35:32 -0800

Did you get married at the courthouse? Did you provide the judge with a gratuity? In my locality, there's only a $25 fee required for in-chambers weddings performed by judges. Out-of-chambers weddings require fees of up to $100. We're getting married in-chambers and I wonder what a reasonable gratuity would be? And when should it be offered to the judge? Cash or check? Any advide appreciated!

Do you tip your building's super during the holiday season?

Capn — Wed, 22 Dec 2004 08:03:27 -0800

Do you tip your building's super during the holiday season? Your postman? How much. I'm interested in practical advice on the local customs in Toronto, but stories from around the world (Hamilton, Scarbrough, Oakville, etc) invited too.

Tipping the Owner

pwb503 — Mon, 11 Oct 2004 11:07:32 -0800

Ok, how about tipping when you're being served by the owner of the joint? [MI] Years ago I had heard that you were not supposed to tip your bartender if they were the owner of the bar, now today I hear that you aren't supposed to tip the server if they are the owner of the restaurant. I can only remember one time recently that I was served by an "owner" and I tipped him. Thinking back, I sure wouldn't have wanted him to think I was a bad tipper. I usually tip just shy of 20% and I imagine I tipped this owner that much as well. I cannot imagine leaving nothing, I'd feel, well, just like a looser...

Are you really not supposed to tip owners? And if so, how do you get over the guilt of not tipping?

Tipping Your Piercer

Mars Saxman — Fri, 16 Apr 2004 15:36:19 -0800

Piercing studio etiquette: it seems that you're expected to include a tip. Base it on the total, including the price of the jewelry, or base it on the piercer's labor alone?

Tipping for Carry-Out

ferociouskitty — Tue, 27 Jan 2004 19:26:02 -0800

Tip etiquette: What is the appropriate tip for carry-out from a traditionally sit-down restaurant?