Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with grad

Advice on Emailing Professors When Applying to Grad School?

davidstandaford — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 16:40:09 -0800

Any advice concerning email communication with professors who I'll be contacting at the various schools that I will be applying to for PhD programs in Political Science? As part of my application process I've been identifying the schools that I want to apply to and the professors at each campus that I would want to work with. I've been reading some of their recent writings so I can begin contacting them via email.

At the moment, my plan is to email them sometime soon letting them know I'm thinking of applying to their school, my planned research statement, and letting them know which of their articles I've read. I was going to include a comment about the articles I had read and ask them some question about something I'm unsure about or how their article might be in conflict with some other research.

If/when I get a response I was planning to follow up by asking to see any unpublished articles if they are working on something that also fits with my interest.

Firstly, I was wondering if anyone involved in academia has any thoughts about communicating with professors during the application process.

Also, is there some maximum number of emails that should be exchanged and at some point I would begin to annoy them, or it's ok to email back and forth for a couple of months?

Is there some number of emails I should exchange before I tell them explicitly that I am applying to their school and explicitly ask them for any help they can provide in the admissions process?

What about arranging a time to speak to them on the phone? Also good?

And finally, anything in my emails that I should be sure not to mention/include, or anything I should be sure to tell them?

[I'm focusing on email communication because, alas, I am out of the country and not able to make any more campus visits.]

How do I find a Research Experience in S.F. without starving…

elationfoundation — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:26:01 -0800

I am a recent graduate of a M.S. in Conflict Analysis and Resolution, an interdisciplinary degree, and have just returned to San Francisco to try and get some research experience (in social science research) but because I don’t have any real background I am having trouble getting anything… HELP! I didn’t realize that I wanted to pursue high level academia (sociology or social psychology) until my senior year of undergrad and because I went to a state school without any funding I never even saw research assistantships. At my grad program I got passed over consistently because of my lack of experience and because I was not a PhD student. I got rejected form my PhD program choices for a lower than normal undergrad GPA (3.2 grad was 3.8) not high enough GRE scores, and a lack of research experience. I am working on improving my GRE scores but I can’t seem to get any research positions. I am applying to anything that is non clinical and have not gotten anything. While I have been working on selling the skills I have and taught myself SPSS so that I could have that under my belt I cannot find anything. My passion does not seem to be able to get me any opportunities. So my broad question is how does one go about finding research positions without the background experience. While I would be open to volunteering as a research assistant so that I can get the experience I would rather get paid so that I don’t have to take on a night or morning job to pay for housing.
Secondarily… are there (free) ways to get help with my research acumen (like study groups) so that I can improve my understanding of research methodologies. I find research one of the most interesting and rewarding experiences but it is difficult to grasp the methodologies without an ability to have someone to talk to about them. My family and friends are done listening to me talk about research.

Sorry for the length… Any help would be positive!

Should I let myself be exploited for a year in academia?

Anonymous — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 06:07:38 -0800

Should I take this job offer to work at a wage that's barely livable so I can get into grad school? I have a job offer to work for a wage that's considered just barely high enough for a single person to live on in my area. The unquantifiable perk is that I'd be working for someone whose recommendation will considerably strengthen my grad school application, in exchange for a year or two of near-poverty.

I've done a budget with their offer, and I could do it, barely. I wouldn't be able to eat out more than once a month, and I wouldn't be saving more than 5%, and I could end up bankrupted by a major unplanned expense. I already tried asking for a little more, and they made me feel like a jerk for trying to take money from a non-profit that's already strapped, so any extra income will have to come from side gigs.
I have tentatively accepted their offer, but now I feel bad for doing so. I feel like I'm perpetuating a system that feeds off the labor of those at the bottom of the academic ladder who are largely duped into thinking that their work will be recognized and they will get their turn. I have no such high hopes; I want to get into grad school because I like my subject, and I have plans outside academia for after the PhD, but I'm worried that I'm paying too high of an opportunity cost now to get it.

Where is the point where love of the field isn't enough? I'll walk away before they ask for my firstborn, but should I be running already?

Applying to grad school

Anonymous — Wed, 28 May 2008 09:19:27 -0800

Applying to grad school. Help! 1) I am applying to NYU SCPS. I have a horrible undergrad GPA (I graduated in 1998) but a good resumé (I think). I don't know if any of you have experience with NYU specifically, but in general how balanced are they when considering an old academic history versus recent professional achievements?

2) I have to submit a personal statement. They mention a minimum of 250 words, but what's the rule of thumb on what should be the maximum?

3) They also ask for a resume. In the professional world, resumes are as short as possible (I try to keep mine as a one pager). However, knowing that brevity is not necessarily appreciated in an academic setting, I am thinking that the my submitted resume should be very detailed. Am I wrong? Should I go with the short one or the long one?

Should I go back to school to become a programmer?

mockdeep — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:00:01 -0800

I have a bachelor's in architecture but after a few years of work experience I have begun to feel that it may not be my bag. At work I find myself spending more time tweaking my computer and finding new tricks than actually drafting. Computers have always fascinated me. I've only done a little of the basics--qbasic in grade school, truebasic in high school, Visual Basic in college--and I've begun learning Python. I have ideas for useful programs almost on a daily basis, but I think in terms of knowledge and skill I am years away from bringing them to life.

I feel a little stuck in my current job, I'm still in debt from school so I really can't go without work and it doesn't leave me with much free time to learn to program. There's not really any opportunity from my current position to grow in that direction either. I've been trying to figure out how to reach my goal and it seems that my best option may actually be to go further into debt, that is, to go back to school.

My roommate has been telling me I'd make a great PhD student (which is what he is) but also that I don't have the necessary skills to get in. I have to admit that in a sick sort of way the idea appeals to me.

So again, should I go back to school? If so, how can I make it happen? And as a corollary, what schools in Chicago would be worth checking into?

dealing with a low GPA on grad applications?

slow graffiti — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 07:51:42 -0800

Ways to mitigate a low undergrad GPA for grad school applications? I finished my undergrad degree with only a 3.1 overall, but more like a 3.8 in my major. Unrelated/silly classes that I shouldn't have taken for a grade are mostly the things bringing my GPA down, and it's up to the committees to decide how big a deal that is, but there is one low grade that is of major concern; I did not do that well in stats. I know I need stats to do research and I'll have to take much harder stats to get my PhD, and if I don't do something about that grade, my application will go straight to the trash. I'm confident that I can handle stats, but how do I demonstrate that? If I take stats again from a community college at night to get an A, will that be dismissed because the CC course will be seen as easier? Are there any other options for demonstrating that I'm capable of the work and not as prone to goofing off now?

And as for the personal statement- do I mention that grade in particular? What do I say? I think the best response would be to say "I did lab work and published later in school, which taught me much more about applied statistics than that huge undergrad GE course."
Is there anything else I can do besides highlighting my research and acing the GRE to make up for a really inconsistent transcript?

Where should I go to grad school?

milqman — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:26:54 -0800

Help me choose between grad schools: I am accepted (with fellowships) to the math depts at both UC Davis and Penn State. Where do I go? Question for a friend:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm a math major interested in studying fluid dynamics and numerical methods. I have received offers from two PhD programs: Penn State's math department, as well as the Graduate Group in Applied Mathematics at UC Davis. I have already visited both schools and formed some of my own feelings about that.

but . . .

I’m looking for first-hand opinions and information on any and all of the following:
-reputation of the program
-particular advisors and their respective working relationships
-what possible job and post-doc opportunities the school's network will open up for me
-anything else that doesn’t fit into these categories but you think would be helpful to know

What else am I missing? What else do you wish you had factored in to your decision?

P.S. The fellowship offers I have received from both schools are comparable given living costs, so it is not a very useful point of comparison.

Grad school backdoor?

sentient — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:28:51 -0800

Say parents regularly donate to a university. Does this have an effect on their kid getting into its Grad School? It seems to be a given that parents donating to a school results in the kid getting in for undergrad. In fact, the person I'm asking for was accepted to the University to which his parents donate $$ (and one parent went to) when he applied for undergrad. (He didn't go, though.) He's now interested in going there for grad school, and is wondering whether the fact that his parents donate will help him get in.

Anecdotal evidence welcome; information, directly or indirectly, from people involved in admissions would be best, though. Thanks, all.

Starving Artist seeks funding

whimsicalnymph — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:40:06 -0800

How do I pay for grad school? So, I just got accepted to Columbia University for an MFA in fiction. Which is awesome. But I don't have a lot of money. Which is, well, just the way it is.

Do you know any resources for outside fellowships/scholarships that I could apply for?

Ways to get private and government loans?

I already filled out my Fafsa. That is the first step, correct? What next?

M.A. or M.S.?

GilloD — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 19:56:47 -0800

M.A. or M.S.? I'm getting a Master's in Politics and hoping to teach in a university someday. Which should I get? Does it matter? (this question is written on behalf of GilloD's wife, by the way.)

I'll be graduating from Illinois State with a degree in Politics & Gov't as a member of the Master's International Program--where I do a year of study and then Peace Corps and whoop-de-doo, I've got a Master's Degree. Anyway, I'm reviewing my plan of study and now have to decide if I want an M.A. or an M.S. in Politics.

I graduated from college with a degree in Philosophy & Human Rights, so I always assumed I'd get an M.A. However, I just found out, that our university has a four-semester foreign language requirement for any M.A.s, and I only took three in college. (What a jip, I studied in the freakin' Czech Republic for a year and all I get is six credits of grammar.) I could probably get the last 2 credits for the requirement approved as part of my Peace Corps training--assuming/hoping we're in a country that speaks something other than English--but that could end up being a little too bureaucratic for my blood.

I am hoping to get a Ph.D. following Peace Corps and teach in a university, and I've heard that that suggests that I should go for it and get an M.A.

So, the question is, is it worth it? Who cares? What's the difference between an M.A. and an M.S.?

Living in Berkeley as a Grad Student

barnacles — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 07:59:38 -0800

Tell me what it's like to live in Berkeley, from the point of view of a grad student. I've been there just once for a few days, and mostly saw the campus, so I don't really feel like I have a good grasp of the city (though from what little I saw of it, it seemed pretty cool). What's good? What's bad? Where to live? Where not to live? Where is the good coffee, the best bars, and out-of-the-way places that I'd definitely want to check out? Is there anything you wish you had known prior to living there?

Additionally, are there any websites I should check out to get a handle on the community and what's going on there?

To boot or not to boot?

Anonymous — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 09:33:24 -0800

Should I give my co-advisor the boot? Question about dealing with a difficult advisor for my grad program...a nice, long read awaits you... I am in a graduate program and I have two advisors, one in my department (I will call him NP) who is very easy to get along with, and one in the professional school I wish to get into after my master's (I will call him R).

I am doing a multidisciplinary grad program, one that will look really good on my application to the professional program that I want to eventually be in. NP thought that having an advisor in that department would be helpful, so I asked R to co-advise. R is basically an ok guy...nice, listens when you have problems, and I think he tries to be helpful, but...

R is an incredibly difficult person to work with. I like to think that it is a combination of cultural backgrounds and Napoleon complex. He is coming up for tenure in about a year. He has screaming fights with his department head, and is extremely confrontational with other members of his department. I am getting tired of it, but NP is trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. So far:

1) When I asked him what tests he would like me to run on the blood samples collected, instead of 'advising' me, he told me to ask a friend of his. I found this odd. I asked the friend, who gave me limited info that was not helpful. So...

2) I am taking a class in the professional school as part of my plan of study, and asked the professor (who is in R's department) for suggestions. He told me to talk to M, and even spoke to M on my behalf. M was extremely helpful (she is an expert in part of what I am studying). The tests and protocol that M suggested were completely different from R's friend's suggestion, and are considerably more valid (the opinion of NP, the prof from my class, etc.) M has gone out of the way to train me in techniques and find information, even though I am not her student. She has been more helpful to me than R ever has. M even went to talk to another expert for me (she thought it would be useful), and when she did...

3) The expert and R were working together, and M approached the expert and asked his advice, used my name. R immediately flew off the handle and jumped M's case: "Why is she talking to you?!? She is MY grad student!!!" M was accompanied by her grad student, who asked R if he knew anything about the technology in question. No, he didn't.

The next time I was training in M's lab, she approached me and said that it wasn't her place, but she didn't want me to be blindsided when he confronted me about it (coming up). She also gave me advice, which was to get him off of my committee. She says that he is a loose cannon, and is confrontational with most everybody. She also said that in her annual review, the department head had read R's comments and dismissed them as BS, saying that he had contributed very little to the department, and had blown his startup package on traveling to seminars all over the world (he did not present at any of them). She said that she doesn't usually have problems with R, but the way she deals with him is just to tuck her tail and run.

4) So NP and I and gone to pick up supplies for the field work (R was out of town at a seminar-not presenting). He had wanted us to drop off the list and then he would pick it up. The supply clerk would not let us do that, so we had to take the supplies and store them in M's office. I emailed R and told him where the supplies were. He sent me a fairly nasty email, asking why I had done that, etc. Then, he called me, on a Friday night, and starts out with, "I'm not mad, BUT..." and confronted me about the supplies and meeting with M, and that I should tell him who I am talking to in his department. I told him that he was my advisor, not my parent, and I can talk to whomever I wish. I had forwarded the email to NP, who had also received an email, but a considerably more polite one. NP was thrilled that I was talking to other experts for their input, R seems to be threatened. Did I step on toes? Am I not supposed to ask for outside advice?

I don't know if this happens alot, and if I should just suck it up and deal. I know two other grad students who deal with R, one who has him as an advisor, and the other has him on her committee. The one that he advises, L, is having huge problems, as he has just left her to fend for herself. The other one has found him to be pompous. L said that he calls and yells at her as well, and that when she goes to his office he is sympathetic, but not helpful.

R was already kicked off of one committee that we know of, and R's major professor did not recommend him for his current position. He has not published since he arrived 3 years ago, and has received an ultimatum from his department head. I think he is clinging to my project because of the travel aspect and because of the publishing potential. I question his value as a contributor for this project, and could probably pick up M in his place. M has been here one year less than R, but has published 6 papers since her arrival. Has anyone else experienced this particular flavor of hell? Any thoughts or opinions as to how to handle this? I apologize for the length, but I wanted to give an idea of the situation. This is completely stressing me out.

What to say?

MayNicholas — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:53:05 -0800

Grad School Interview questions... I am a student at the university that I am hoping to attend for grad school. I have a new professor this semester who I really like. I approached them a few weeks ago and let them know that if I am accepted to the program, I would like to work with them. We chatted for a bit and got on really well. Well I recieved an email from them today saying that they had gotten my application and was very impressed and would like to extend an interview. Since I know them, and currently have class with this professor what can I expect in the interview?

mba application tips?

tessalations999 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 05:05:45 -0800

I am applying to business school for an MBA at a top school. I only have experience working at a non-profit, and some social service experience. I have grad school experience in Social Work. Any suggestions/ ideas of how to market my experience? What are some tips for being a successful applicant? Thank you! Also, there is a MPA degree at my school as well. I am not sure i fully understand the difference of an MPA versus an MBA. Anyone have experience with this? Thank you so much for your help!!

I regret to inform you...

Asherah — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 15:23:58 -0800

How can I best petition for the reconsideration of a grad school application? Or should I even try? I've applied to three programs, and have so far have received a decision from only one (as I applied early decision). I did not interview in person as I'm based on the left coast and was told that I interviewing by phone was not a disadvantage, although hindsight tells me that a face-to-face connection would have communicated my passion for this program more effectively. (I won't hear from the other two programs until Jan & Feb).

I know of one individual who was not accepted to this program (one year ago) and when they asked to be reconsidered by letter, they did a few months later receive an acceptance out of the blue (I don't know the details of this, but know that based on this account that this school doesn't have a hard and fast rule against doing this).

If I pursue a petition for reconsideration, should I ask the Office of Admissions about how to formally go about this, or should I just send a well-written letter and offer to fly out for a more in-depth discussion of why I feel I should be reconsidered?

How do I walk the fine line between looking pathetic and/or desperate, versus communicating how much I desire to have this privilege and assure them I can succeed? I would appreciate insight or advice from anyone who has experienced something similar and was successful, or not.

What on earth should I put on my graduate school application CV?

limon — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 22:16:26 -0800

What on earth should I put on my graduate school application CV? I was a good student, but didn't win any scholarships, and my work experience is irrelevant to the academic discipline. Since I hovered just below the full time status requirement for most scholarships, I never got one, even though my marks were certainly high enough. My family was sufficiently well off and generous to pay for my (rather low, by American standards) Canadian tuition, so I was never motivated enough to apply for obscure, external scholarships, either.

I published one review in an academic journal, won the school newspaper's annual literary prize once, was on the dean's list (for high marks) most terms, and... that's it. That won't even fill a quarter of a page. How do I make this look less drab and undistinguished? Should I even bother?

The application guidelines also say I should include my professional history. Should I, really? Are they serious? My work history consists of menial tech support positions. Tech support is utterly irrelevant to my discipline. I feel completely silly including this. If I should include this, ought I specify what my responsibilities were? "Troubleshooting ResNet connections" just doesn't sound like the stuff to win over professors in the humanities who can't tell their PS/2 from their USB.

Help me better my chances of getting into grad school.

Anonymous — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 09:44:18 -0800

I'm hoping to get into a Computer Science Masters program somewhere next fall, and am looking for some advice on bettering my chances. Writing out paragraphs explaining everything would fill [more] pages [than this already does], so I'll be informing you in bullet form.

• I have a BS in Electrical Engineering, from a no-name Minnesota state school. GPA: 3.0. Well, 2.98, but I round.. I'm not proud of this, and kick myself daily for getting D's in 2 classes and not fixing them before graduating.

• I have had great work experience in software through jobs I've had (4 years worth since college), and personal endeavors.

• I've taken the GRE 3 times, and have never been 100% satisfied with my scores. First two times two years ago (720Q/480V, 740Q/520V), and a third time last month (770Q/560Q) which is also disappointing considering I was averaging 650 in verbal on all the practice tests I was taking.

• I've taken 4 grad-level CS classes at Columbia University (I work there now as a Programmer and get free classes) and have earned A's in all of them.

• I aspire to be an independent software developer of sorts. I live for problem solving and inventing things, and my dream would be to have the time to work through all the software ideas I have.

• I am mostly self-taught in CS, aside from the few CS related courses I took in undergrad, and the grad classes I mentioned in my previous point. I would like to go to grad school to get some formal education in the field, and to open possibilities to jobs that are unavailable to me in my current situation. I don't really see myself in research, but I could be wrong.

• I have applied to Columbia's CS department 3 times in the past 2 years, and have been rejected every time. This has shot my grad-school confidence in the foot, and has made me a little bitter. The fact that Columbia pays me to program for them and that I have proven myself worthy by getting A's in their classes, but still won't let me pay them to learn to be a better programmer boggles my effing mind. Like i said: bitter.

• I'm through trying to get into Columbia. My wife is finishing grad school (at Columbia) next month, and we're leaving NYC. I'm applying to several grad schools around the country, and am trying to make my applications as appealing as possible. This is where you come in.

What makes a good application essay? Do I need to pretend I'm really interested in research to make myself appealing to grad schools? How can I do this when truthfully I have no idea what specific interest of computer science I'm interested in, and just want the opportunity to find out? I'm past the level of getting another bachelors in CS, but I refuse to believe that masters degrees are just for research. Am I wrong?

Do I need to justify my mediocre undergrad GPA and verbal GRE scores or make no mention of them at all? Do I need to trump up my work experience? I tried both angles when applying to Columbia, with no luck. Where's the back door?

Please help me, hive mind.

Bonus question:
I'm applying to the University of Wisconsin, Madison / University of Washington, Seattle / University of Minnesota, Minneapolis / University of Texas, Austin / University of Colorado, Boulder / University of California, Berkeley / and the University of California, Santa Barbara. I realize almost all of these are high on the list of CS schools, and some I have little to no chance of getting in to. I could use some more schools with great programs, and high admission rates. Know any? Your alma-mater, maybe?

Throwaway email for questions: gradschoolhopeful@gmail.com

Tests and Politics...

MayNicholas — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 10:57:06 -0800

Grad school questions... GRE time (Saturday)... I have checked out the past questions asked about free practice sites and found a couple of them useful. I am terrified that I am going to bomb since I just can't seem to wrap my head around any of the math concepts. I haven't take math since HS and that was 16 years ago- but I'm great with statistics. Anyone have any good thoughts on how to use my statistics knowledge and apply it to the math portion? Also any more free practice sites to recommend? Thankfully my school doesn't have a cut off score. I have already spoken with the 2 proffs I plan to apply to work with and 2 of the grad students that will be looking at my app. One of which is my TA for one of my classes. She assured me that they look at everything, so I'm trying to keep all these things in mind so I don't freak out more than I am. Anymore thoughts of calm that got you through these stupid tests would also be greatly appreciated.
Also, any thoughts on anything else I can be doing. I always make a point to chat with my TA (not always- as in to the point of talking to hear myself talk- but just when I have something to say). She usually looks to me to get feedback on how the class went and how she can improve kind of thing. I'm really trying to up my political game to help improve my odds of getting in. I am on the reasearch team of one of the proffs I will be trying to work with and next semester I have already gotten permission from the other one to be on his team. What else can I be doing (aside from of course not asking MeFi questions when I should be studying)?

Social butterfly or talking head?

MayNicholas — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 19:22:09 -0800

PsychologyFilter: Getting ready to apply to grad school. I am torn between two programs... My research interests all lie in social psychology, but I want the option to be able to treat clients in the future. I was originally planning to apply to a Counseling Psychology program but I love social psych research and I love psychoanalytical processes. Since I want the most possible career options open to me when I finally finish my PhD (academia and/or private practice) I am now torn. Can I gain licenture to treat clients with a Social Psych PhD- or only Counseling/ Clinical PhD? It seems that only Couseling/ Clinical/ School psych programs are accredited. Advise me please mefites...

Getting into Grad School with a substandard GPA

Alex404 — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 13:16:43 -0800

I'm looking for advice on apply to grad school along the lines of Computer Science/Cognitive Science. Major problem: Low CGPA blues. I've reviewed some of the previous threads on this topic, and they've been helpful. However, I don't think the overwhelming sense of panic that wells up on a regular basis in me will be assuaged without some personalized advice, so I'd appreciate anyone who knows the ropes on what it takes to get into grad school to weigh in on this. The short of it is that when I finally graduate in two years, I hope that I can get my GPA up to a 2.7. Here's the long of it:

Flew threw high school getting a 90 average without ever doing a shred of work. Got into the University of Toronto.
Went. Recieved a CGPA of .73 in my first year. Dropped out. Moved to British Columbia for two years. Had fun. Came back.

At this point I still didn't know what I wanted to do, and still didn't know how to study. Flew threw another three years of random courses. When it finally dawned on me that I really, really, love academics, that I've assumed all my life that I was going to go to grad school, and that I was royally fucking up, I changed my tune. At this point I had 15 credits under my belt with a CGPA of 1.7.

After having taken courses from roughly 12 different departments, I decided that I would pursue cognitive science and artificial intelligence, which means that, since I do want to graduate before I'm 30, I had to get a computer science degree in three years. Over the last academic year, I scored a 3.9. I stumbled with some summer courses that I was taking, only scoring a 3.0, which is probably what has caused the latest cycle of panic and depression, leading me to post here.

So... some questions. Assuming I can get straight As for the next two years, am I still fucked?

I'm pretty sure I can get stellar recommendations, because I'm always very involved in my classes, and usually come off as knowing exactly what's going in.

I've also been told by some follow students that U of T is notorious for marking very hard, and that some grad schools do note this. I find this somewhat dubious, but I guess, in general, does anyone know if U of T rings a positive note with admissions?

I could go on like this for a while (and am trying very hard to restrain myself), but really I'd just appreciate any information on how best to improve my chances on getting into a good masters program. (Any specific information on the nature of those few cognitive science departments in the world get bonus marks)

I can't decide if I want to move to another city.

Anonymous — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 21:38:37 -0800

I have an eating disorder and I can't decide if I want to move to another city. Having an eating disorder, and deciding whether or not I should move, seem like unrelated variables - but let me explain.

I am a queer female in my early twenties. Everything describing me seems good on paper – I have a contract job I enjoy; a scholarship to a competitive grad school program in another city; a lot of good acquaintances, and a new girlfriend of 6 months I really love.

I also have had bulimia, in various severities for the last 8 months in various severities – anywhere from throwing up every day for a week, to a few times a week, to a few times a day, etc. The most I have gone in this time without throwing up has been 3 weeks. The good news is the feeling and urge to be bulimic and throw up is genuinely tapering off.

In the year leading up to my bulimia, I developed a binge eating problem, which still persists, and which I consider to be the most painful, depressing and emotionally taxing aspect of my disordered eating. This problem still persists and confounds me more than my bulimia. An eating disorder is hell. I’m sick of feeling unhealthy and hating myself, and I’m freaked out that the rest of my life will be marked by it. I know there is more to life than having an eating disorder, but a lot of the time I feel I am just going through the motions, and I honestly am having a hard time. I have also had clinical depression which weaves its way back in and out of my life.

Last December or January I began an inpatient program for people with eating disorders. Blood and heart testing revealed my physical health had not yet been damaged. As someone who formally enjoyed a lot of different sports and had no serious physical or mental health problems to speak of, it was a bit of a change to suddenly be a person seeking help - it's like I can see myself dying. I saw a counselor on and off, but stopped because I was working full time on a large project at my job.

I live with wonderful people, but my house spooks me because I associate many of the rooms, especially the bathroom where I would throw up, with being bulimic. In fact, the whole city of Vancouver seems laced with my bad attitude, poor self-esteem and failed attempts at living heathfully – a concept which feels genuinely out of my grasp.

My girlfriend is great, and dating someone I care about has definitely helped improve my mood. I feel happy when I’m with her and often forget these struggles. She knows about the depression, and has in fact had issues with mental health herself, but I have never told her straight out I have an eating disorder of one type or the other. Other than telling two of my friends and a counsellor, I find it incredibly difficult to talk about these problems and my self-imposed silence is utterly deafening.

Now, faced with the opportunity to move to another city, I don’t know what to do. Trying out grad school can’t set me too far back. But starting up all over again will mean stress, losing contact with my friends and probably losing my girlfriend – although it’s not like I’ve ever been genuinely honest about my mental health with her. I am also considering traveling on my own. And then there’s the eating disorder and whatever it is that is causing it, and how that will or will not be affected by moving. As a project at work is winding down, I now have some more time to work on my personal problems. Please help me figure out how I can be proactive about getting my life back on track. Thanks in advance.

I'm looking to e-mail some faculty members of a graduate program. How do I do it and not seem rude?

GilloD — Wed, 23 May 2007 09:46:45 -0800

I have my eyes on a very specific sort of graduate program at a University that while not top-tier, will be tough to get into. I'm looking to make some contacts in the program: What's the best way to do this? I feel qualified for the program, but my GPA might say otherwise. I've spent the last year or so getting my act together, so I've got some real world experience. But I think the tipping point might be getting my name into the running before the formal application process.

Ask Mefi Professors, graduate admissions dude, et al: What would be the best way to "introduce" myself to the program? Is it considered rude or uncouth to just send an e-mail to a professor saying, "Hi, I'm GilloD and I'm interested in Program X and I was wondering...". Is there a standard way to conduct this kind of informal, personal inquiry?

I need MBA advice to make sure I don't waste two years and $100k

Mr Bunnsy — Thu, 17 May 2007 19:16:03 -0800

Is an MBA worth it for me, or am I just trying to keep up with friends who all seem to have letters after their names now that we're hitting our late 20s? My dream job is international marketing, particularly working for companies or brands that are expanding between Asia and the English-speaking world. It would involve a good bit of travel and be based in a major city.

My current job is nominally marketing manager, but it's a small company and I do a good deal of operations, web and graphics work, client service, you name it. I'm 27 and female, if it matters, and my degree was in Economics with a barely 3.0 GPA from a decent state school. My grades were a lot better in my last two years (dean's list) and I'm certain I can ace the GMAT with some more studying. I do very well on standardized tests and had a near-perfect SAT... somewhat of an idiot savant that way.

I've been researching schools for months but I still don't have a good idea of how I stack up vs other applicants, and whether I have a shot at a good school. I would want to go full-time and really take advantage of the resources and networking the school offers. But my goal is not astronomical salary or prestige, just an interesting job that allows me to travel to cool places, pays enough for the ensuing school loans on top of a decent lifestyle, and doesn't make me wear a suit every day. I think eventually I'd like to start my own (or with a partner) company.

Sorry this is so long-winded. My real questions are:
- Do I have a shot of getting into a top school (US or abroad) and how to increase my chances.

- Is it worth going even if I do get into a good school, or is the opportunity cost too high? Could I get where I want to be without an MBA? (Most of the jobs ads that look interesting to me do require one.)

- Should I be conversant in an Asian language if I want to specialize in Asia? My college Japanese is almost gone and to pick it up again it I'd need a few months of serious, and probably full-time study.

- Are MBA programs full of pretentious asses who are much more interested in money than knowledge or doing cool things, and will make me feel out of place and homicidal within months? How do I find one with genuinely smart and interested students?

Thank you in advance!

Career in the social services, but my heart isn't in it.

Anonymous — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 07:13:19 -0800

Career in the social services, but my heart isn't in it. I am struggling with a conundrum. I just earned an MSW, but I don't feel that I'm up for the challenges of this career. While I didn't go into the profession to make money, and I do truly wish to help people, I don't feel that I will make a salary that will give me a comfortable standard of living...and the more I have learned about myself and the profession, the more I feel that this is a poor match. I understand that there is a wide range of salaries in the profession but I don't feel that I will be one of the high earners, i.e. those who manage large programs or do policy making or have a private practice.

So...what on earth else can I do with this degree? What kinds of jobs can I look for that aren't typical social work jobs...or aren't in the field at all? Would it be worthwhile to earn my LICSW and then move into a different field, or can I do something else entirely right out of school? If so, how do I spin my area of study to future employers?

Another option is going back to school. I'm willing to do so but I have no idea what would be a good profession for me.

Put Me Through Grad School Boot Camp!

awenner — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 01:10:08 -0800

How do I prepare myself for the challenges of an MA program in the six months I have before it begins? Whoo! I just got into my dream masters program (AM Regional Studies - Middle Eastern Studies at Harvard.) I've been out of school for a year now, and while I haven't really let myself slack off, I'm certainly rusty when it comes to doing all those things that academics do. I've looked online, and what advice I've found seems to pertain mostly to PhD students, and tends to deal with the Sargasso Sea of the thesis years.

My question is this: is there any kind of pre-grad school/MA program boot camp I can put myself through to make the transition easier? People who've done similar programs: what's your advice? MeFites who are looking back: what do you know now that wish you knew when you were younger?

(Also, things like "commit suicide," "take cyanide," and/or "run," aren't helpful. I'm crazy excited to be doing this, and I'm also aware that a significant amount of bullshit potentially awaits. What I'd like now is encouragement and constructive advice, not bitterness.)