Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with grace

How to petition boyfriend about bedding?

Anonymous — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 13:26:39 -0800

I could use some help figuring out how to phrase a request that my boyfriend give his bedding a spin in the laundry. We're pretty newly minted, and I understand the need for tact here, but I am blanking on the best way to say this. I'm not a crazy hygiene freak. While I'm definitely neater than he is (he has expressed concern about the disorganized state of his room as it affects me), I am not bothered by the clutter in his room on the floor, the desk, and other available surfaces. It doesn't even approach as bad as I've seen from older brothers and former roommates.

But, the last time I slept over the bedding was a bit rank, beyond what may have been partly due to activities recently conducted in and around it. I think there's a basic expectation of not being overwhelmed with unwashed blanket/sheet smell while trying to fall asleep, and I don't think I'm out of line in wanting to make that request. I just don't know how to say it exactly, and I'd like some help. I'm concerned here because -- given that we haven't been together long -- this would be the first time I would be asking him to alter any kind of behavior of his, completely under my own motives. And, obviously, this is kind of a touchy subject. I'm not overburdened with social graces to begin with -- my usual communication lists heavily towards forthright, frequently tinged with wry facetiousness.

I like him a lot, and want to make it clear that I don't think he's a gross and disgusting individual for this. Lighthearted, not-a-big-deal is I think the way to go, but I'm just... drawing a blank, possibly due to overthinking. Help me get the beans off this plate.

You aren't until you are, and then you will be.

tmcw — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 12:08:55 -0800

In order to be saved, you must accept Jesus's salvation. Huh? Explain? Okay, so I'm going to confine my question because there are a million directions to go on the topic of salvation. But there's the essential part:

One Christian doctrine posits the following:

1. Jesus's salvation is given freely to all

2. It is the job of the individual to accept that salvation, that they need to believe they are saved.

3. And then the individual will be saved.

However,

1. If one needs to accept Jesus's salvation in order to be saved, then (by a pretty simple logical induction) if they do not accept Jesus's salvation, they will not be saved.

2. This means that, before someone accepts his/His salvation (in other words, before they believe they are saved), they are not.

3. Therefore, in order to be saved, one must willfully believe in something that is (by one's own belief system) false? Possibly, in some way I don't understand, it becomes true simultaneously with your belief in its truth?

Okay, so that's the essential part of it. I'm asking because it's such a simple and obvious objection to this particular doctrine of salvation that I really doubt it can stand up to real critical thinking - but I haven't heard anyone counter it or explain it away to any reasonable degree.

And this, of course, is excluding from the argument systems which have a strong focus on other sources of salvation (good deeds, cooperation with the will of Christ, etc.) And it is, of course, dealing primarily with Christian traditions. And please no bashing, generally.

Thanks for any help, it's been floating around in my mind for a while and I'd like to get some bearings on this theory.

Did Jesus invent Grace?

greytape — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 14:22:02 -0800

Is Divine Grace an exclusively Christian idea? A Christian friend of mine has told me a couple of times that what he thinks separates Chrisitianity from other religions is the concept of Divine Grace, that Jesus comes along and wipes your slate clean. All other religions, he states/supposes, rely on a Karmic system of you pay for what you break.

It seems impossible to me that this is true, with so many religions out there, but this is not my area. Can anyone help?

Must I "diss" grace as an atheist?

war wrath of wraith — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 12:58:02 -0800

What's the polite thing for an atheist to do during grace at the dinner table to which s/he was invited? Recently, I found myself in a series of uncomfortable situations where I was a guest at the dinner table of very devout religious-folk who would take 4-5 minutes to say grace. As a guest, I didn't want to offend by refusing to take part or standing out in any way. At the same time, I wasn't going to pretend to be praying, either.

When I searched, I found this and this, but neither really answered my question. This comment makes it clear what I should do (if I understand the comment correctly), but I was a bit surprised by it, as I had imagined that the offense would come from the other direction, as I mentioned above.

What I ended up doing was simply folding my hands together in a somewhat casual way, then staring intently at my dish with a slightly bowed head, but this felt extremely silly.

To provide some background info: no, the family didn't know I was atheist, nor did I realize how devout they were. Yes, it was the family of a close friend, and while I knew he was religious, again, I didn't realize to what extent. And plus, my question is more general, as in "What is the proper thing to do in such a situation?"

Can you have your wedding cake and open gifts too?

Anonymous — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 13:55:43 -0800

Cheapskatefilter: If I'm traveling out of town (1500 miles) to a wedding for people who live in town, do I have to get them a gift? Known groom for 20+ years, but her friends are in her hometown so the wedding is there. I found out about it after I already had something big on the calendar so I'm making it work out and they know it.

If I didn't go, then I could have gotten them something really nice, but it meant a lot to them for me to be there so I'm going and as a result have much less to spend to the point of it being embarassing.

At what point and with how much grace do I say, "I care enough to show up, but I plunked down 600 clams to get here, that's your gift."?

Poor accident-prone me...

Skyanth — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 03:02:25 -0800

How can I become less of a klutz? I would like to move more elegantly. With more grace. Slowly. Deliberately. Without walking into doorways or lamps. In a relaxed way. Learn to move more like a cat and less like an elephant.

I have to say: it's not really that bad, not in the way that it's an actual problem for me - I'm less of a danger to my surroundings than some other people I know - but I also know a lot of people who seem to have better control over their body than me, and it's a thing I admire and would like to learn/copy/have. Especially as a lot of these are people in my kenjutsu club and they seem to be better swordfighters than me. This can't be coincidence.

The question is, can I do it? Is this something you learn? And if so, how?

Note: I am a girl. Perhaps this is useful information.

Saving grace.

brautigan — Sat, 18 Feb 2006 16:08:10 -0800

Any guidance on writing a non-religious grace? Two families, one christian the other utterly non religious. I've been asked to write and say a wedding pre-dinner grace or blessing. I'm from the religious side of the family but not a believer. I'd like to write something that will nod towards the divine but embrace the sort of things i think we are all really there for i.e. love, family and celebration. Any suggestions as to what to say? Perhaps links to non denominational blessings etc? Thanks in advance.

Name That Painting

Neale — Sat, 21 Jan 2006 06:17:18 -0800

Artfilter: What is the name of the painting, and the painter, of the portrait hanging near the door of Will's apartment in Will & Grace? It's a portrait of a male, shoulders up, no shirt.

Grace for atheists

pocams — Tue, 23 Aug 2005 19:59:11 -0800

My family grew up saying grace before dinner, but none of us are religious. We value the pre-meal ceremony itself, but it doesn't seem right to use a standard, religious grace; can you suggest a different one? For us, grace is a chance to appreciate our good fortune in having peace, family, and food. The sentiments of the World Hunger Grace ("For food in a world where many walk in hunger...") apply pretty well, but stripping out the references to faith and oh Lord leaves it feeling kinda lame. Are there any atheists out there that say a grace? Do you use another pre-meal ceremony?