Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with gossip

How much money does the gossip magazine / gossip blog / tabloid industry make?

Elle Vator — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 12:23:45 -0800

So, celebrity gossip is everywhere and lots of $$$ is forked out for images of famous babies, etcetera... BUT how much money does the gossip industry MAKE? I can't find any online statistics about Gossip Industry Revenues. It's actually very odd and mysterious.

I'm looking for numbers on gossip magazines, gossip blogs and/or the tabloid industry, with the goal of comparing the Gossip numbers to the Porn Industry and the Television Industry respectively. I could use global numbers, US or North American numbers.

It would be useful to find a webpage as comprehensive as this: http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/internet-pornography-statistics.html

...but I would take a single, high impact sentence about the tabloids and gossip rags (such as this gem: "US Porn Revenues are greater than the combined revenues of ABC, CBS and NBC"), which was properly cited and verifiable.

Anyone got anything?

Dealing with Gossip and Mutual Friends

Anonymous — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 19:56:44 -0800

You're with some friends and they begin to maliciously gossip about one of your friends. What do you do? I'm looking for gracious/ethical things to say or do when it's a group of your friends (some closer than others) begin to basically cut down a non-present friend, who also happens to be friends with a few others at the table.

Scenario: it's a restaurant, and the meal you're going to pay for just came. This has happened somewhat often to me (at least lately) and I'm at a loss to describe how gross and terrible I feel.

I certainly don't participate in it, but I had no idea said group of people harbored ill feelings toward my friend. I mean, do I just leave? Get up and go?

It strikes me as a vapidly dramatic to declare the group of people terrible individuals or to leave in a huff—yet it seems a little needy, a little naive, to try to defend the friend: especially when that friend was apparently mean/ugly to someone at the table.

Sorry for the rambling, and here's the main problem: how do I balance the wish to not ruin a meal with the desire to remain a good friend with a person being gossiped about at that meal?

There aren't otherwise bad people, and it doesn't happen a lot, so...am I just supposed to dump them for good?

Ugh. Please advise.

LA Lawyer to check a gossip blog?

Anonymous — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 17:03:41 -0800

I need a lawyer in Los Angeles to look over my gossip blog, can anyone recommend someone? I recently started running an anon gossip blog that covers my industry (not entertainment). I post blind items, things I "heard", etc. I've always been very careful about what I post and how I say it, and I feel like I have a solid grasp of what's on the right side of the slander line (but doesn't everyone?). I also have a basic standard legal statement and disclaimer.

However, it's pretty clear from my stats and inbox that just about everyone in this very tight-knit industry is reading the blog, and additionally that I'm getting a lot of hits from law firms used by the very litigious main focus of the site. I haven't heard anything legal (or even negative) from anyone yet, but I expect it to come.

I want to get the blog reviewed by a lawyer with solid experience with this kind of thing, and also get some advice on protecting my sources etc. Can anyone suggest someone in LA for this? While I can probably not find the money to run things by a lawyer on a ongoing basis, I can find the money for a lawyer if I get in trouble, and I'd like to start a relationship with someone now, as well as making sure I'm on the right track with covering my ass.

Please don't say "you're so screwed", that's not a helpful answer!

Thanks.

Solve the Mystery!

moxiedoll — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 07:38:51 -0800

45 year old literary blind item - can you identify the subject? I'm reading a 1964 essay by Pauline Kael wherein she snarks:

There's a woman writer I'd be tempted to call a three-time loser: she's Catholic, Communist, and a lesbian; but she comes on more like a triple threat. She's in with so many groups that her books are rarely panned.

Any ideas?

Why do celebrity/gossip blogs use the same phrasing for post titles?

deern the headlice — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:46:23 -0800

Why do so many of the celebrity/gossip blogs use the same phrasing for post titles (ex: "Lindsey Lohan is Cured", "Tyra Banks is Angry", "David Duchovny is Addicted to Porn")? Just curious why they all seem to follow this format and where it started from.

How to deal with relentlessly negative carpoolers?

Anonymous — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:53:25 -0800

How to deal with relentlessly negative carpoolers? I carpool with four other people. We all work at the same place (a small liberal arts college). It's convenient for me and them, reduces our transportation costs and the group is stable membership-wise. All great.

The only real problem is that the rides to and from routinely turn into marathon-length gripefests that everyone but me participates in, almost always centered around intra-/inter-office politics, remarkably petty interpersonal conflicts, campus gossip or their kids. Every so often it's about the shitty pay and benefits -- which is even more ridiculous. I loathe discussions like this and remain as quiet as possible during them. If asked about something, I'll give as positive (or at least non-committal) an answer as possible. But it never seems to shift the conversation in a more positive direction. And, after two years, it's gotten really old.

Is there anything I can do to change this? Conversational techniques? Just sit back and think of England?

(Finding another carpool or a different transit solution are, unfortunately, not options. Also, an iPod would be considered incredibly rude.)

Help me deal with Mrs. Kravitz.

tumbleweedjack — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 17:27:20 -0800

How do you deal with extremely nosy neighbors? We basically have Mrs. Kravitz living next door, only worse. Our neighbor doesn't seem to understand that she's doing anything wrong- she asks us right out about things that she sees from her own house! She's even asked me about an item I had on my bookshelf in my bedroom on the second floor, something only visible from the window in her son's bedroom easily thirty feet away. Every time any of us see her we're sucked into a twenty minute long conversation we don't want to be in and she says inappropriate ("Bill and I were having sex the other night and..."), invasive ("What's your dad doing at his desk all evening?"), and presumptive ("Why don't you have a girlfriend?") things.

What the hell do I do?

Look at me! Look at me!

barrakuda — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:57:36 -0800

What are your favorite celebrity gossip blogs?

Am I a horrible gossip?

M.C. Lo-Carb! — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 20:39:18 -0800

Say your friend told you a year ago he's gay. Is it ok to pass that information along to a mutual friend, a year later, with whom he has not had direct contact? No one in this equation is afraid of gaiety.

What are the pillars of Hollywood Babylon?

Bookhouse — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 09:06:30 -0800

Please point me to resources on the sordid underbelly of Hollywood. I'm very interested in the inner workings of the Hollywood lifestyle -- the people and industries that prop up the stars and buffer them from scandal. I'm talking about the paparazzi, publicists, bodyguards, entourages, lawyers, club owners, assistants, gossip-mongers, dealers, drivers, thugs, rehabbers and fixers that rotate around celebrities. Are there any good books about the mechanics of the industrial-fame complex? Other resources about all the people that go into making a juicy blind item? (Websites, documentaries -- I hear that the star of Entourage is making a documentary on the paparazzi, which got me thinking about this in the first place).

I'm also a guilty fan of tell-alls of the Hollywood Babylon variety, and would welcome modern books of the same ilk, but I'm more interested in the people who prevent such books from being published until the stars are dead.

Stop talking smack.

Anonymous — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 11:50:40 -0800

How can I stop gossiping and repair my image? I gossip occasionally, and I always feel terrible the day after a gossip session. Recently I said something about a friend to two other mutual friends that went something like this, "Jane said XYZ at Pierre's the other night. Isn't that crazy? Oh, but don't get me wrong, I love Jane!"

The next day I felt terrible. I feel like a flake. I question my intentions. Why would I even mention that? Am I trying to belong? Do I want people to know I am above saying something such as Jane said?

I want to stop gossiping but I feel like I've already ruined my image. I don't want to be a person that flippantly makes snarky remarks about friends. I don't gossip constantly. Most of the time my outings with friends are gossip-free. I would never retell a damaging secret or say something mean-spirited, but I do gossip in a way that would be hurtful if the party in question knew what I was saying. Comments such as, "She isnt' a very warm person, she has built a wall around herself." Or, "She's in a mountain of debt, but she still buys Jimmy Choo's."

It's relatively easy to create a new rule for myself: Stop gossiping. But, how do I repair my image with my existing friends? I don't want to gossip anymore, and I don't want to be perceived as a person that gossips.

I've read that it is common to gossip with friends. But I feel like it's something that should have stopped post high-school. Is this true? How bad is it to gossip? I don't like the feelings of guilt I have after I gossip, but I do it anyway.

Where's the discipline specific academic gossip?

ontic — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 16:59:09 -0800

I know where to go for gossip within my own academic discipline, but are there canonical blogs (on moves, hiring, graduate apps, big books, occasional meta-discipline discussion, etc). or rankings in other disciplines? The Chronicle and Arts and Letters Daily are more general. I'm looking for more discipline specific stuff. I want to clarify that I'm not supporting the occasionally crazy gossip and navel gazing. I'm more interested in the sociology of academia here.

What kind of public records are available about a landmark building like the Hancock Tower in Chicago and how can I get a hold of them?

krautland — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 09:43:40 -0800

I have recently seen a map of Congress that listed the number of Representatives that had been indicted, seen war, had been divorced, etc. What kind of public records are available about a landmark building like the Hancock Tower in Chicago and how can I get a hold of them? my goal is to assemble a map of the tower: these are businesses, offices, apartments, this is where celebrities live, these are the places that have declared bankruptcy in a certain period of time, these are places people have died in (I think chris farley died here), here is where people making more than 250k/year live...

I am looking to amass around 50 or 60 different statistics about this building, the more obscure the better, but I am not sure how to go about this. any recommendation as to researchers, publications and offices to contact would be highly appreciated.

for the record: I am considering hiring someone for this task. if you know a kick-ass researcher who could really go to town on this, please feel free to recommend this person.

I don't want to participate in her imaginary competition

Brittanie — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 22:53:04 -0800

I have a taekwondo nemesis. How can I deal with her? This will be long but I'll try to pare it down. I am in a taekwondo class for ex-pat wives and mothers. It meets three mornings a week for about 90 minutes and up until recently has been a challenging but fun way for me to stay in shape and have some interaction with the other women in our expat community.

Most of the women in the class are beginners, meaning they have rarely exercised before and have never done martial arts. The class is made up of women with various degrees of belts — from white-belted newbies to a few multi-degree black belts. I am on my brown belt (two belts away from black), have been in the class for almost a year, and expect to test for my black belt in September.

The woman in question, my nemesis, was actually the person who convinced me to join. She is the head of the class (she's been there the longest and has the highest belt level — third degree black) and up until recently she's been very fun and laid back in the class, helping to teach me and some of the other women.

Over the past few months, however, she has become extremely competitive in the class. In addition to the three morning classes she is also now attending the two evening classes a week where she trains with Korean boys who've been practicing TKD for half their lives. More and more, it feels like she's trying to outdo or prove something to the other women in the class — examples include kicking opponents as hard as she possibly can during spars and making backhanded comments before and after class about the rest of our devotion to the sport.

I'm taking TKD quite seriously, can't wait to test for my belt, and am in the class for the good it does for me only, not to prove anything to anyone else. I in no way want to be part of a pissing contest. Most of the women in the class see it solely as a way to stay busy and healthy — half of them aren't the least bit interested in advancing belt levels. In fact, I'd venture to say that's part of the draw of the women's class — it's more laid back and less serious than the evening classes.

The last straw was Monday's class, when I was paired with the Nemesis as a kicking partner. As head of the class, it's her job to assist us with form and poses. She wasn't happy with the way I was holding the pads for her, but instead of trying to help me improve my stance, she kept sighing and saying loudly to the rest of the class "Can I get another partner?"

This is infuriating because I have seen her do it with other students as well. She's good friends with the instructor's wife and has repeatedly asked not to be paired with certain people in the class. I almost feel like telling her that if the morning class isn't challenging enough for her she should stop coming, but alas, it is not my place to do so. (And I would rather handle this in the most civil way possible).

This recent change in her attitude has made me dread going to TKD at all. I'm upset by this because I am so close to getting my black belt, but it's really made TKD no fun whatsoever. I don't feel as though I can address this situation with her privately without making it worse — she's a notorious gossip and we live in a small community anyway. My instinct is to just ignore it or put up with it, but I still have five months to go before my test and I don't know if I can suffer in silence that long, not to mention what happens after my test (I don't want to get my black belt and then just quit because of the way someone else is making me feel).

How can I deal with her while continuing to enjoy the class and the sport?

Do I need this gossiping friend?

Anonymous — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 08:41:22 -0800

Someone who I consider a very close friend recently told me in an off-hand way that she gossiped behind my back “all the time” to our mutual classmates/friends while we were in a very intense graduate program together a few years ago. We were roommates during the program and for a while after, and I think she was unhappy with the division of labor in the house (cleaning, etc). But the whole four years we lived together during the program she never said a single word to me about it. Honestly, not a single word. I fully admit that as an adult I shouldn’t have need to have been told “do the dishes,” but it’s beyond me that she could be angry about that for years without telling me what she wanted.

Once I moved out, she started making snarky off-hand comments to me about house cleaning every so often. I assume she was talking behind my back about housecleaning stuff while we were in school, but she also knew a lot about my other personal problems and anxieties, so maybe she was talking about those things too. I don’t know. To make matters worse, I always felt like an outsider in the program and she was pretty much my main social link to other students. Now I find out that the whole time she was talking smack about me to them, about all sorts of things – perhaps I was somehow sensing that these people I was hanging around were actually privy to all this stuff about me from her, and that’s why I felt so out of place.

I’m trying to figure out if I need her in my life anymore. Do I confront her about this, when it doesn’t really matter anymore? I don’t really care about that old crowd. They’re still her friends, but they don’t matter to me at all now that I’m not in school. At the same time, I don’t want her to talk about me to them anymore. I don't make (or get rid of) friends lightly, and she has been a really close friend. I've never in my life decided to cut somebody off before, but I feel really betrayed now and am wondering what she adds to my life. Overreaction?

Hallucinogens at Titanic cast party?

alltomorrowsparties — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 01:57:58 -0800

Does anyone here remember an incident that may have happened during the filming of Titanic? I remember a story that I read in the newspaper around that time saying that several people were taken to hospital after unknowingly ingesting a hallucinogen at a cast party. As I remember it, dozens of people were involved, including cast members and crew. There may have been something in a stew or soup. I looked for some follow up story at the time, but never heard anything else. Does anyone else remember this story or am I having flashbacks myself?

Did you know that Homer Simpson is a character in 'Day of the Locust'?

Asparagirl — Sun, 01 Jan 2006 22:20:20 -0800

I'm looking for tales about the dark side of Hollywood, showbiz, and the gossip/tabloid industry. I've read "Day of the Locust" and "The Mailroom: Hollywood History from the Bottom Up", seen "All About Eve" and "Sweet Smell of Success" and "Showgirls", am halfway through Julia Phillips' "You'll Never Eat Lunch In This Town Again", and am planning on reading Joe Eszterhas' "Hollywood Animal: A Memoir". I'm not looking for gossip, per se, as much as I am looking for explorations, whether first-hand or fictional, of how screwed up the cult of celebrity is. Suggestions for books, movies, musicals, blogs, or whatever would be welcomed.

Breaking the Rumor Mill

anastasiav — Sun, 06 Mar 2005 13:07:31 -0800

How do you stop a rumor from being spread about you once its started? Over the past few months, I've noticed that a number of formerly fairly cordial friends have not been in contact as much as they normally would have, but I chalked it up to work and too much to do (me and them). Over the weekend, I found out the real reason -- a mutual aquaintence has apparently been spreading an ugly rumor about me. This rumor is presented in a plausable way, but is basically a total lie.

I've been in contact with the original rumor-spreader, and she fessed up that she might have 'misunderstood' a conversation we had. She did apologize. Now what do I do? Given that I'm able to straighten this out with the core of our group of friends, how do I deal with the fact that dozens of people that I come in contact with on a monthly basis now think I'm an evil, immoral baby-eater? Is there any effective way (short of a mass email) to get the word out that this is all lies?

Psychological study that says people associate critical claims with the critic rather than the criticized?

PigAlien — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 09:53:26 -0800

I read an article many years ago about a scientific study that said that people tend to psychologically associate criticism with the critic, and not the object or person being criticised. ***** For example - given Persons A, B and C, Person A says to Person B, "You're an uncritical thinker." If you asked Person C at a later date, "who was the uncritical thinker?" they would tend to answer "Person A". Even though Person A was criticising Person B, Person C would associate the criticism with Person A and not Person B. ***** Well, I've tried to find the research online but have reached a dead-end because I just don't know what combination of words to search for. Has anyone else come across this research? Who knows, maybe the research isn't available online, but I hope someone else has read it too.

'Common wisdom' indicates that it isn't 'nice' or 'good' to go around calling people names and criticising them. This has generally been considered a matter of manners and civility. The argument can be extended to say that you 'make yourself look bad when you badmouth others.'

However, I think it very interesting that scientific research goes even farther and says you don't just make yourself look bad when you criticise others, but that you actually cause people to associate those negative qualities WITH YOURSELF when you criticise others. In fact, it bounces back in your face.

I'd really love to read those studies again and examine the evidence more clearly. Any help?