Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with girls

I can't even make a clever manga reference since I've never read any.

grapefruitmoon — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 15:33:44 -0800

MangaFilter: Help me find some English language manga for a non-native speaking 11 year old girl. My partner's niece is 11 and LOOOVVVEESSSSSS manga. I'd like to get her a book or two for Christmas - here's the rub: #1) I know nothing about manga. #2) She is Portuguese and while she speaks English quite well and is studying it in school, I need to find something that's not too linguistically challenging.

Hope me, hive mind! What manga would be appropriate both in terms of content and easy to understand language for an 11 year old girl?

(Yes, I'm totally sold on buying it in English for "foreign cachet" value since she can get Portuguese manga in the mall.)

How can I stop this ridiculous crush?

Anonymous — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:06:35 -0800

I met the most beautiful geeky girl I have ever seen or imagined. Help me get her out of my head, please. I went out for drinks with some new acquaintances who I hadn't met before and am unlikely to see again any time soon. A little way into the evening we were joined by a girl whose face seemed to be designed just to stimulate my brain's neurochemical pleasure pathways. She was so, so lovely. I spoke to her for about 10 minutes (~~and can now die happy~~) and found out that she's really interesting, has a cute accent, is studying nearby, and is into sci-fi. I'm not usually prone to this sort of thing at all, but despite barely having even met her, I'm crushing on her like a schoolboy. (Laying in bed last night I actually caught myself imagining how sweet we'd look as an elderly couple.) This is absurd. Help me stop.

Why is it so absurd? Well, mainly because I don't know her or really anything about her, and nor does she about me. Also, she's about five years younger than me (she's in her early-20s), but I look about ten years older than her (like her older brother or uncle - bruncle?). Also, she's far, far prettier than I am (think Shrek and Fiona). Also, because of my living and employment arrangements, I'm hardly an attractive proposition right now. And anyway - why am I even thinking about these things? I sat across from her for a couple of hours and spoke to her for about ten minutes. This is crazy.

Please tell me how to un-do to my brain whatever her lovely face has done to it. I don't think rational arguments will work, but don't let that stop you.

(Oh, and before anyone asks... I wasn't drunk, and this isn't about sex.)

Disposable email: ohgodwowiloveyou@googlemail.com

How do I break the "ice" with others (especially girls) and get closer with them?

rintako — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 22:54:44 -0800

How do I break the "ice" with others (especially girls) and get closer with them? Hi. I am a freshman in college. While I wasn't the most popular in high school, I was well known by many and had many girl friends, but no girlfriend, just flirted and played with some girls.

Anyway, what's been bothering me is that there are some people I talk to almost everyday in college but it's always the how are you, how's studying, how was your exam, what are you up to this weekend? I also haven't been able to meet as many girls as I would like to.

I was wondering if anyone could explain why this is. Is there a way to break the "ice" with these people and also with girls. It seems that I have trouble having a deep conversation with anyone other than how are you and some small talk about what's happening around on campus.

Thanks.

What are some good homemade 'kit' ideas for Christmas gifts for the kids?

GernBlandston — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 09:46:34 -0800

I'm looking for Christmas gift ideas for our kids. They are 11, 9, and 6 year old girls. Specifically, I'm looking for ideas to put together homemade 'kits' that combine multiple items making up a single theme. For example, a calendar making kit with heavy paper setup like an empty calendar for them to number the days, with space for monthly pictures; including markers, stickers, etc. Or a journal kit with the empty journal, stamps, stickers, etc. Or a 'game night' kit. The kit can be for the 3 of them together, or for one of them specifically. Thanks!

So much for negative reinforcement...

frankly mister — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:13:29 -0800

Why do creepy/obnoxious guys (talked about at great length in a couple fantastic recent threads) keep hitting on girls if they never have any success? This is inspired by this recent, amazing thread, and its MetaTalk spinoff.

(First: though I've spent a few hours reading both those threads, I haven't nearly read everything, so forgive me if this is answered in there at some point.)

I don't understand: what drives the creepy/obnoxious guys to continually hit on girls in the creepy/obnoxious manner? If they and their technique are so universally loathed by girls, as seems to be to the case, then it should follow that these guys NEVER have success. Sure, sometimes a girl is a little friendly in return, just to be nice. But presumably it never goes anywhere, so these guys never have any success with the routine. Why, then, do they keep doing it?

Know any good blogs by high school or college age females?

Joe Beese — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 09:14:46 -0800

Know any good blogs by high school or college age females? It's character research for NaNoWriMo. Videos are fine too.

Preteen girl needs unpadded bras, but nobody's selling!

Anonymous — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 09:06:43 -0800

Is there such a thing as an inexpensive, everyday unpadded bra for preteen girls? If so, who sells it? My 12 year old daughter, bless her heart, has blossomed to the point where it's practical and reasonable for her to wear a bra on most days. However, in recent years the trend in bras has been for seemingly everything but sports bras to have a layer of stiff "smoothing" padding in the front, and for various reasons we would like to buy bras that are less like that. Most of her collection is like that now, and it's getting on time to replace them.

So, disregarding sports bras, are there inexpensive, normal, utilitarian, everyday wear bras for young girls that aren't padded? We're not asking for saucy lingerie, here. In fact, she's not terribly into lacy frippery to begin with. She still needs some measure of support, as this isn't a "training bra" situation at all.

Keep in mind, she is a preteen girl. This means adult bras will all be too big around even if they match her cup size -- chances are a bra line marketed to normal adults or petite adults won't offer a size appropriate for her at all.

Where can I find a printable copy of Nike's "If You Let Me Play Sports" ad from the 1990s?

pick_the_flowers — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 12:57:23 -0800

Where can I find a printable (preferably A4) copy of the 1990's Nike Ad "If You Let Me Play Sports"? It's the one about girls playing sports. This is it, but as you can see I can't open the full image and the thumbnail blurs when I blow it up.

I want to use this to encourage girls in the school I work at to play sports, and also to encourage their parents to let them play sports.

Be really grateful for the help.

Mean Girls: The Prequel

Anonymous — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 08:46:48 -0800

Two weeks into the school year, and my almost-tween daughter is being antagonized by another girl in her class. I want to help her deal with it. (Apologies for length.)

The two of them rode the same bus for a year in primary school. There were some basic personality conflicts. Other Girl is fairly rowdy, My Girl is irritated by chaos.

Now, they're in all the same classes and the bus in intermediate school. And Other Girl has decided to turn things up a notch.

Other Girl deliberately sits next to My Girl's best friend on the bus -- once you sit, you can't change seats -- and then spends the entire ride rubbing it in MG's face (e.g., "I'm sitting next to your best friend Soandso and YOU CAN'T!"). Soandso is equally annoyed by this, by the way -- so it's not like they are competing for her. OG is really just doing it to upset MG.

OG also calls out to MG nastily from her lunch table, usually reiterating her smooth seating move from the bus. There was also a time when they were in a small group project and OG announced (out of the teacher's earshot, naturally) "Since MG is the smartest person in the group, SHE should do all the work so we all get it right and don't have to do it again." Infuse that sentence with the nastiest tone you can imagine. The only thing MG had the time to do before the teacher came over was say "We're all supposed to do the work, OG."

MG is bothered by all of this, even though she has friends and this doesn't really affect her relationships with them, other than Soandso being annoyed by it. MG mentions it to me daily, with little prompting. I remember what being bullied is like. I want to help her with this, and I realize that climbing on the bus myself and punching this kid is not an option.

So far: I've told MG to reply to OG's crap with relative nonchalance, i.e., act as if she hears the words but not the tone and be at least civil, if not friendly. Yet, everything I've been reading on the sly suggests direct confrontation is the better route. This came up briefly as an idea, but MG pointed out that OG will deny any accusation and then she's back at square one.

MG doesn't want me to contact her teacher about this. But if this escalates much more (and it has been escalating), I'm going to revisit that option with her. I won't do it without her knowledge and consent. The district appears to be responsive to issues like this, but I don't have any firsthand information yet.

I've looked at other AskMes under various permutations of "bully," but most of them involve physical altercations. This may never get to that point because this stuff always happens within 25 feet of an adult. Also, I'm not kidding myself into thinking she won't have to deal with some version of this again -- and why not try to get the right coping skills in place now?

(For the tl;dr crowd: These kids are nine and ten.)

Thanks for any advice or suggested reading.

She keeps tugging at le heart, what should I do?

Anonymous — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 20:30:31 -0800

She just keeps tugging at my heart. What should I do? She's a friend of mine (I know, I know) and I started having feelings for her, so I told her...last year. Her reaction was positive, said she had feelings for me too, and we started 'going'. Well that was short-lived, after a few weeks she essentially told me that 'we should just be friends'. I was pretty devastated but kept things friendly and we started hanging out again...as friends.

Months went by and an acquaintance of mine started hanging around her more and more often- one night we all ended up hanging out together, and I wasn't as friendly as I could have been to said acquaintance. I wasn't mean or cruel, just not myself. She picked up on this and called me later that night and we had a long talk and I told her how I still had feelings for her (stupid, I know). She didn't reciprocate. Well actually she said she was 'confused'.

At that point, I felt I needed to distance myself from her, so I suggested that we shouldn't hang out one-on-one anymore. She agreed, hesitantly, and we didn't really see each other for like a month.

Things smoothed themselves out and we went back to being really good friends. But just friends.

So it has been months and I feel like an idiot for saying this but I'm developing feelings for her again and I feel that she is too. We are hanging out one-on-one, do date like things, make extended eye-contact, hug each other tightly, and otherwise seem really close. We don't contact each other everyday, maybe a couple times a week.

But I need to know, through everyone's experience, is it worth pursuing this again? I really really like her but don't want to progress backwards. What should I do? What's the best way to go about this? An awkward talk? Should I make a move? Or should I just move on?

Not Tinkerbell again...

Artw — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 16:09:02 -0800

What animated movies star awesome female characters? Bonus points if it's appropriate for a younger children (a 3 year old and a 6 year old), extra special bonus points if it's not utterly irritating to adults. Scary bits may need a certain amount of skipping over.

How do I work my way into a table full of girls at a bar?

cannotremember — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 17:44:03 -0800

You're a single male sitting at your local bar and a rather large group of girls walks in and takes over a nearby table. How do you proceed? Ladies, I know there's quite a few of you out there who have ideas on what you'd want a guy to do in this situation. Yes, I realize at least half those girls at that table prolly have boyfriends (a la ladies' night out) but does that really matter?

Gents, I know you've prolly been in this situation before. And some of you have probably succeeded to some extent. And though you may not be so generous with your killer suggestions, bear in mind that we're probably too far away for us to rub elbows over said group of ladies. So please, ego aside, help a brother out.

You may assume there's a guy or two among this crowd of ladies (at least 6) - if you'd like. I'm 99.9% sure that the dynamics change in this situation, especially if one or both of these guys are linked up with a couple of these girls. Plus, I don't have the luxury of my friends alongside me here... this is strictly a solo op.

Lastly, bear in mind that I'm not looking for a quick one-nighter or anything, neither - just something to get my feet in the pool and get some conversation going. I can take over from there if there's at least one chill gal!

Girls With Boomboxes

Bobby Bittman — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 07:01:45 -0800

Can anybody tell me where this image of girls with boomboxes is from?

Experiencing an emotional crisis. Should I contact this girl?

dadaluma — Sat, 09 May 2009 02:03:12 -0800

I need to get this off my chest. At the moment my emotional state is all out of whack. To the point that it is beginning to adversely affect my daily life. I cannot think as clearly as I used to since my mind is drifting. I keep experiencing daydream-like flashbacks of certain points in my childhood, all dealing with people I wish I was still around with. It's not like I completely stop whatever I'm doing and think about these things, but they are always in the back of my mind, like a subconscious memory that is stuck. Basically, I think memories of this one girl I knew way back when are bringing this on. Should I get in touch with her, despite the fact I now live thousands of miles away? Backstory: what might have been the onset of this? When I was still in high school as a senior at 17, my parents decided to move. At the time, I was excited. Back where I used to live, there were admittedly no opportunities for me. Since moving, I have started college and started up my own business in the technology field with hosting websites. I also work as a independent journo in the video game industry (going to E3 next month). Anyway, going through with this move meant I never was able to experience the last few months with high school friends before moving on to secondary education. Honestly though, I didn't care at the time, as I was never really emotionally attached to my surroundings.

But now, three years later, I'm feeling regrets, despite everything else in my life being on the up. At the core of it all is this girl I knew awhile back. I never knew her that well, guess you could say we were only casual friends. She was very carefree and had a super likable personality. I did sense a connection that I never had felt before between us but well, I never made a move. It's not exactly that I was shy or anything, just that getting a girlfriend back then was not top on my list of priorities. So yeah, I reckon I let the chance pass me by. Although I cannot say for certain if she really liked me or not, it sure feels like I blew it anyway.

So now, I am wondering if I should contact her again, just to chat as friends? Maybe just talking to her would fill this void in my life and stop the recurring memories. I really don't know. I'm only hesitant as I am short on words. By that I mean I have no idea what to say to her. And plus, having someone contacting you out of the blue that you only knew casually after three years seems sort of awkward.

I suppose... I may be experiencing these feelings as I'm at an age where I still can do something about it. Possibly, anyway. It's safe to say that wanting to get back to together with someone 10-20 years after the fact is not going to happen in most cases. In my case though it has been only three years. So perhaps that "chance," however minute it may be, is bringing this all on.

Help me figure out what do next talking to this girl.

Anonymous — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:53:35 -0800

Okay, so I met this girl recently at an event on the other side of the country. We really hit it off, and spent a lot of time together. But I'm not sure where I stand or what to do next. Her facebook status claims that she is currently in a relationship. What I heard from her at the event seems to indicate that it isn't going very well. Furthermore, she seemed to be coming on to me pretty strongly during the event.

We won't for sure see each other until this fall, but she has been in touch with me since, and talked about the possibility of her working this summer in a city nearby where I live. She's also said that she's been thinking of me, and that she misses me.

I am interested in pursuing a relationship with her, but what should I do? Given that her current situation is complicated, should I just lie low for a little while? Or should I tell her how I feel?

In her last email, she said (paraphrasing) "I miss you. I don't like pausing these friendships after they began so abruptly." Would a reply to the extent of "I agree completely. But I hope you'll think of me as more than a friend." be coming on too strong at this point?

What should I do next? Man, I wish, at this point in my life, I was able to handle situations like this more elegantly.

Email followup questions to mefithrowaway@gmail.com.

What Do 6-year-olds and 8-year-olds want?

TEA — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:11:18 -0800

What gifts should I get for my friend’s daughters, ages 6 and 8? A close friend and her daughters are coming to visit, and I’d like to get gifts for the girls. I haven’t seen them in a while, and I don’t know what’s hip with kids at the moment, so I could use some gift idea suggestions. I like to get them gifts that are unique, but they are often most excited about receiving gifts that are popular/trendy.

The 8-year-old wants to be a mechanical engineer when she grows up. I think this is because she's trying to emulate Violet Baudelaire of Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events. I’ve found some fun-looking, age-appropriate books about inventions and inventors, but I’d like to get her something else, too. Any hands-on, science-y recommendations would be a help here.

I don't know the 6-year-old's specific interests very well. She's outgoing, energetic, and social. She takes karate classes, and I think she enjoys them.

I don’t have a firm budget. I’d like to keep this at or under $50 per girl. However, if there’s something fabulous for a little more, I might splurge.

How do i tell her not to see him anymore?

oviedo — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 20:47:59 -0800

How do i tell her not to see him anymore? explanation inside. So here's the deal.
I've been seeing this girl pretty consistently for the past 2 and half months, and we've grown quite close (hanging out a lot, talking daily, a lot of physical stuff), but she isn't ready to actually commit to me yet. I've talked to her about it, and i'm comfortable with where we are (not to say that i don't want more).
Anyways, the problem lies with her ex, whom she dated for nearly 3 years, goes to the same college, shares her same friend group, and is around all the time. Unfortunately, this man was her best friend for the last 3 years, and even though he was a huge d-bag (he cheated on her consistently for a year) she still has a hard time giving him up completely.
This bothered me for a while, but over the last month, since she told him about me, she has been telling him that she doesn't want to see him anymore and for him to leave her alone. But he is quite persistent, tell her he loves her, begging her to come back, etc.
This of course troubles her deeply, cause their relationship ended only 6 months ago, so there is still some emotional attachment, especially since she has only begun actually taking space away from him in the last 2 months or so.
So.. Today, she asks me if it's ok for her to go to his parents house to use their barn for her photography project. I didn't want her to go, and i told her i felt uneasy about it, but we aren't actually dating, and i certainly didn't want her to think that i'm the kind of guy who is going to tell her what she can and can't do. Well, i tried calling her tonight and she stopped my call 2 rings in, and then texted me that she couldn't talk cause it's been a bad night and it continues to be so. this was almost 2 hours ago, and she isn't responding to my calls or texts, which means he's being an ass.

I want to tell her that i don't want her to see him anymore. How?

Valentines for a not-quite couple

oviedo — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 13:27:35 -0800

What do i do for a girl i'm not quite dating on valentines day? So to make a long story short, me and this girl are very interested in each other, but she's not quite ready to make it an "official" relationship. We spend a lot of time with each other, and she's slowly becoming more open about our relationship, letting me hold her hand, etc.

I'm completely satisfied with the way the relationship is going... but valentines day is coming up in a week, and i have no clue what i should do, if anything.

I was thinking perhaps getting her a single rose or something along those lines. Something that acknowledges that we aren't serious, but that we are still something. What does the hive think?

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me

KateHasQuestions — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:52:58 -0800

How do guys feel about girls crying? A few girl friends and I (ages 24-30) realized recently that we cry when we are angry, cry when we are upset, and cry when we are scared. That's just our natural reaction - even though we might be raging inside, instead of yelling or being afraid, only tears come out. Not all the time, obviously, but if we are upset about work, something in life, or a relationship, we end up crying.

How do guys feel about their girlfriends or wives crying to them and in front of them? If it's something that's frustrating at work, or something about the relationship (fear or insecurity), is it OK to cry in front of a guy in either case? Obviously it happens once in a while and can't be helped, but is it better to just go cry alone most of the time if we need to cry, or are guys OK comforting girls? Is there a more "constructive" way of crying, such as telling the guy what is wrong and what can be done to fix everything?

Please don't get judgemental or say that I should find happiness inside, or I should learn to express anger in words instead of tears, I just want to know how much crying is a guy is willing to put up with, in a way. Obviously every situation is different, but give me your thoughts on this topic! Is it highly uncomfortable to deal with? Expected from girls?

Almost 29 and eternally single, HELP!

learninguntilidie — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 00:13:51 -0800

I turn 29 in a couple weeks and would like to be in a relationship. What can I do differently? I've done a lot to improve myself over the last couple years: I workout regularly, (i'm a pretty muscular dude now), I'm much more assertive with women without being overbearing (which is difficult cause i'm a sensitive d00d), and I have worked on improving the inner me: ie more self-assured, more chill, etc,.

My problem is I've gone on lots of dates but can't get the women to be really interested in being 'with me'. Or they might initially be interested in me but after hanging out (lets say with a bunch of friends) when i try to ask her on a date she gets flaky, and 9 times out of 10 is also seeing some other dude .. and the other dude is her real interest.

I"m friendly, I cook, I work hard .. but sometimes i wonder if my quirks make me unattractive ... A girl i was recently pursing (who wants to be friends; cause she likes someone else), said i was sweet, intense, and rare.

Anyone else, ie guys on hear feel like unless your either mega wealthy, super hot, or really funny being with a women that your moderately attracted to is super hard?

one more story real quick. a girl at my work whose a bit older ame said i was 'sexy' and we dated a few times, this was the first girl in the last 10 years that showed interested in me that i was actually attracted to ; some would say that proves that you shouldn't 'pursue' girls and it will just happen. but i say BS; simply because that happened ONCE and unless i ask them out... it never happens.

In summary my questions:

- why is this so hard?
- what can i do differently without changing who i am ?
- why does it seem like moderately attractive females have it easier than moderately attractive males? or am i just biased cause i'm a guy?

And any general encouragement would be MUCH appreciated!

Gift ideas for young girls

backseatpilot — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 06:32:08 -0800

What are some good science/tech/math gifts for younger kids these days? I have three young cousins - two aged 7, one aged 5, all girls. As the resident geek of the extended family, I've taken it upon myself to indoctrinate them and get them interested in science/math and just generally being more curious about the world. I've been moderately successful with gifts in previous years, but now that they're getting older I'm oddly coming up blank.

So what's the trend in science toys nowadays? I've been told Legos are out, as they already have way too many of them. Software is also probably off limits, since their parents are mostly computer illiterate and I don't want do IT work for them all year. Looking back at my own childhood, I've basically eliminated all the toys I had myself, so now I'm stumped.

Some hazy ideas I had that I could use some help fleshing out - are there any robotics toys for kids that age? What about "The Way Things Work" - I had a copy when I was a kid, is the new version any good? What about "The Daring Book for Girls"? Marble roller coaster sets? Anything else you can think of?

How do I send a friend I'm romantically interested in a birthday card

BoldStepDesign — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 22:10:18 -0800

Okay. There is a girl I like her birthday is @ the end of this month. She's an amazing person. We went out once while she was home last summer (she was home for like a month), she's coming back in christmas but her birthday is in like 2 weeks. (I'm 19 she's 21). I'm pretty sure she's interested in me, but not ceretain. How do I reinforce (romantically) in my birthday card to her that I'm interested in her but not in a creepy or stalkerish way?

Looking for movies with tuff (punk) girls...

apetpsychic — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:57:00 -0800

I'm working on a video project (and I also love the genre) and looking for movies with "bad' or "tough" girls; gangs or solo, the more punk the better. Extra points for fight scenes! I'm thinking along the line of 70s and 80s exploitation films. I'd also like to check out any general punk or teens-in-crisis movies that aren't Repo Man, Suburbia, River's Edge, Over The Edge or Permanent Record. Thanks for your help!

Wanted: Birthday ideas for 10 year old twin girls, on the double!

carmicha — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 17:22:57 -0800

Tween Filter: My twin nieces turn ten in two weeks and my new reputation as the cool auntie is at stake. I know nothing about kid culture. Help me figure out what to give them for their birthdays, please! After years of giving the girls presents that left them indifferent (e.g., digital cameras, blown glass paperweights, signet rings) I struck gold last Christmas with outfits endorsed by Hannah Montana. Giving them clothes was only possible then because we had just spent some time together and so I had some idea of their size.

Some limitations... My family sneers at gift cards (deemed meaningless since they evidence no effort or thought), so that approach is out. Since I seldom see them, I view books and CDs as risky options since they might already have whatever I chose. The twin dimension is usually handled by giving them things that are similar, but not identical, e.g.. different colors, etc. They only dress identically now and then, but they share most of their things. The girls' parents are well-off, so they lack for nothing, but are not spoiled.

I don't know the girls all that well, but I'm fond of them and I'd like to do well by them. And I did check out previous threads, but none were quite on point. Thanks to all for your ideas.

Slumber Party Suggestions

B(oYo)BIES — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 15:17:17 -0800

So our daughters are throwing a slumber party tomorrow night and I am looking for ideas for food and activities for the girls. We are looking at 10-15 girls, ages 5-10. Feel free to include any other advice that you feel is pertinent.