Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with gift and mother

Extra special Mother's day

charmston — Sat, 02 May 2009 19:44:06 -0800

I have an amazing, incredible mother. Really, she's awesome. This will be the first mother's day that I have the fiscal resources to show her, rather than just tell her, how much I love her. I'll be getting her flowers, that much is sure. In addition to that, I'd like to do something meaningful. My (boring) idea was make a donation to a cause in her honor. But you have more creative, but still meaningful ideas, right? :)

Which GPS for older driver?

TedW — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 07:45:01 -0800

Navigation system recommendations for my 70-something mom. My wife and I are considering giving my mom a navigation system for Christmas; we both have factory installed navigation in our cars and love it. Although my mom is in her seventies she still makes regular cross-country trips; she just drove from GA to TX and back, for example. She is reasonably tech-savvy for someone her age, but in the past if a electronic gadget has too many features and/or a difficult learning curve she tends not to use it. What are your suggestions for a simple to use portable GPS navigation system? Budget is not a major concern, although I don't see us buying one of the top of the line unit costing over $1000. My wife was looking at a Tom-Tom One 125 but I wonder if that is a little too basic. Thanks for your suggestions.

Gift For A New Mother Who Happens to be My Wife

joelhunt — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:35:15 -0800

My wife and I are expecting our first baby at the beginning of June. I want to get her an awesome "thanks for doing the labor" gift, but am not getting any flashes of inspirado. Any and all assistance would be greatly appreciated. I'm not really looking to get her anything for the baby, as that wouldn't really be a gift for her, however something that relates to her new role as a mother could be great. If it helps, she's not really into tech or gadgets (the horror!). Thanks!

Gift for upcoming Mom's Birthday

anonymoose — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:16:14 -0800

GiftFilter: Help me with my mother's upcoming birthday! My mother's turning 57 next week and I'm many thousand miles away without a clue of what to get her for her birthday. As much as I love em, both of my parents tend to be difficult to get gifts for; while they wish to be thought of on their birthday, receiving a gift that they don't really like is read as a sign that one clearly didn't think of them thoughtfully enough, so its almost better to not get anything unless its something they really want.

However, in general, they tend to get anything they really want on their own, so it's also a question of what do you get the girl who has everything. My mother's realized the difficulty of this, and usually just tells us what she wants within a few days of her birthday, but when I'm this far away for the first time, it seems a little crappy to simply throw money at a gift I've never even seen, and not be able to at least pick it up for her.

Things my mother enjoys doing:
-Spend her mornings outside in the backyard in her kind of ratty but well-loved robe (robe suggestions appreciated, though I'd have to ask my father if that's on the table) with a mug of hot coffee and her lap-dogs, feeding the fish/turtles in the pond.
-Walk around town boutique-shopping with her toy maltese in her doggy-purse. Said dog is sometimes dressed in silly doggy outfits. She already has doggy purse and silly doggy outfits, so I'm not sure what else can be done in this category.
-Do whatever females do in front of the mirror for 45-80 minutes before leaving the house. I think this involves the half-hearted watching of trashy soap operas.
-She works as a clinical pharmacist, and likes her jobs (she works a number of different hospitals part-time), but things like "Hug the pharmacist" Mugs or something wouldn't be a good fit.
-She likes very high-end, colorful, kind of bohemian style boutique clothing and jewelry and stuff. Getting her clothing or jewelry is always a very difficult proposition, as she has very particular (and expensive) tastes. Most of her birthdays end up in some sort of clothing or jewelry item that she's already picked out and then the whole family chips in to buy. I'm kind of hoping to skip this category this year.
-She likes relaxing at home late at night with a glass of cheap wine or two after work. She has nice wine glasses and doesn't tend to care much about the quality of the wine, though she also appreciates good wine. I brought her some local austrian hard cider stuff for my coming-home present last month (which she liked quite a bit), and I'd rather avoid 2 alcohol-related presents in a row if I can help it (but suggestions on this end are appreciated too, since there's always christmas).
-Much of her stress in life involves my aging grandparents, who are living a few blocks away and are, well, getting old. They're both becoming less mobile, losing their eyesight, and all in all, their independence. Ways to enhance their lives are probably the thing my mother appreciates most, but those are even more difficult than gifting my mother and would involve a much longer, separate question. They tend to be very unaccepting of anyone spending money on them, or getting them anything, and will return any item that they can return and give away most everything else as a gift.
-She's an animal person, and probably her dream vacation would be some sort of safari in Africa (not gonna happen this time around with my budget :). She has 3 dogs, 1 cat, 2 cockatiels, a cockatoo, a pond of koi, catfish, goldfish and turtles. She's mostly a dog person, I'd say.
-She loves swimming in her hot swimming pool, and it's only last week gotten too cold to keep heating the pool (she's in SoCal). I think we've tried getting her a wetsuit so she could keep doing it, but she wasn't a big fan. Ideally, she'd want one of those indoor "endless" pools with a speed-adjustable current, but that, too isn't gonna happen on my budget :).

What doesn't she like:
-Sweets are not her thing, and while she enjoys good food, its not really a big deal for her.
-Keepsakes and photos and things arent typically her thing either
-She's not particularly tech-savvy, and isn't much of a person for gadgetry. She does like to watch DVDs on her computer at night (she has some OK headphones, but probably wouldn't notice the difference that much if I were to get her good headphones).

That's all I got. Send questions. Many thanks.

What can I get my mother for her 70th birthday?

gottabefunky — Wed, 30 May 2007 19:07:47 -0800

What can I get my mother for her 70th birthday? I'm thinking a cultural/educational experience more than an object. It's at the end of June. She lives in the suburbs north of New York City, sells real estate, loves gardening (#1 passion), theater, art and museums, plays, classical music, just about anything educational and cultural, and working with her hands (she grew up on a farm in PA).

She's also very fit for her age, so something active would work except for the fact that my father (71) isn't, so hikes and stuff are pretty much out for them as a couple.

I'm thinking of a weekend somewhere nice, like a B&B, or some sort of 1- or 2-day educational thing nearby like a Smithsonian tour, though those are way out of my price range. I'm hoping to spend around $250-300. As a comparison, when my father turned 70 I got him a ride in an old biplane.

Last thing: I just moved to Portland, OR, so it could be something around here for when they come visit.

Drowning in gifts

SBMike — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 12:35:06 -0800

[PostingForGirlfriendFilter] What to do about my girlfriend's mother's excessive gift-giving? So my girlfriend has the same problem every year at around this time (both around Christmas and her birthday, which is also in Dec.) with the gifts her mother sends. If it were simply a case of receiving gifts she didn't like, the obvious answer would be to just accept the gifts graciously and lie to the mother, but there is quite a bit more to the situation. In looking for similar threads, I found this thread which should give you some idea of the types of gifts she buys. Her mother is really quite unreasonable about the whole gift giving experience in the following ways:

-We have a small apartment, and since we are both in our 20s, we tend to move around a lot. My girlfriend has told her repeatedly that we don't have room for large gifts or things that take up a lot of space, but she insists on sending whatever she has picked out regardless of size. She also tends to send a lot of gifts at once, when we really do not have room in our apartment. My girlfriend has often requested entertainment such as CDs, DVDs, etc. that she can enjoy without filling up our apartment, but the mother will not listen to gift requests. We have actually ended up taking many of her gifts to Goodwill by the bagful just to free up space in our apartment. This affects me too, as I don't like a cluttered apartment.

-The mother is completely against "practical" gifts. In this interpretation, practical means anything my girlfriend might actually enjoy as well as mundane items that we need. We are both recently out of school, don't have much money, and would actually really appreciate it if she sent us a gift we could use. Actually my girlfriend would be quite happy if she didn't send any gifts, but gave her peace of mind by paying off some of her bills or helping her with student loans, or even a gift certificate to a chain store, but the mother won't hear of such practical gifts. Her idea of an ideal gift is a decoration for the apartment (which we don't need) or more furniture (definitely don't need).

-The gifts come with stipulations. Knowing that my girlfriend actually doesn't like many of the gifts she gets, she continues to buy the same types of gifts but will then tell my girlfriend not to give away or return any of the gifts. She expects my girlfriend to keep every single thing she gets her for all of time. Our apartment is literally filled with boxes holding previous years' gifts, and they just sit there. If it were just a matter of a few gifts, we could take them out when she came to visit, but it is small gifts by the dozens.

-The returnability of the gifts is virtually null anyway. It would be great if my girlfriend could return the gifts she doesn't like and use the money to buy something that would make her happy, but while the mother spends quite a bit of money on the gifts, they cannot really be sold on ebay or returned to a store.

-There is the issue of taste. The mother uses gift-giving to impose her tastes on my girlfriend, who feels some obligation to keep the gifts even if she doesn't like them. She doesn't understand my girlfriend's tastes at all, and sees my girlfriend's dislike of her gifts as a character flaw. She blatantly picks out gifts that she would like without thinking about my girlfriend's wants at all. Like I said before, in our apartment of limited space, we would like to set the decor with items of our choosing. She also does not know my girlfriend's size as far as clothing goes and routinely gets clothing that is too big for her.

-She attaches sentimental value to everything. Not just to the occasional gift that clearly took some thought and effort to pick out or that she made herself, but to little knick-knacks, paperclips, the boxes that the gifts come in, shoes, clothing, small pillows, everything has so much meaning and sentiment attatched to it, which notches up the guilt factor quite a bit.

-My girlfriend and I are concerned about the environment, and we are upset with the wastefulness of the gift-giving. There is the excessive packaging she uses (much of which is non-recyclable) as well as the cost in fuel to ship large items across the country. Once again, smaller gifts would solve this problem, but the mother is persistent.

I know this is coming across as us sounding terribly ungrateful and bratty, but this happens every single year, and all the guilt associated with the expectations of the mother really wears on my girlfriend, and make her hate receiving gifts when it is something that should make her happy. She has tried everything, from politely suggesting gifts (doesn't work), to asking the mother to donate the money to charity rather than spending it on her (to which she says that she will donate money to charity and buy gifts for her), to asking her to forego gifts alltogether (she won't). This upsets me, since I see the mother spending lots of money on gifts for her daughter without caring that my girlfriend doesn't like the gifts at all, when she could spend a lot less and make my girlfriend a lot happier. I suppose it'll be clear to most of you that this isn't the only issue that exists between my girlfriend and her mom, but it is one that comes up every year without fail. How do we end the madness?

Gift for Mom....herself.

Anonymous — Tue, 27 Sep 2005 10:33:38 -0800

Help me find a gift for my 55 yr. old mother that will help her begin to wonder of her own thoughts and wishes, and think that just maybe she could be a force of her very own in this world. I would like to find a magazine or something similar that is simple, very accessible (not intimidating), and visually appealing. Ultimately, the magazine would get my mother thinking about VERY BASIC social, economical, and political issues women face today in terms she would understand or mostly understand, in addition to helping her learn English without her feeling like she's doing homework. It should appeal to a 50-something woman who likes to garden and likes beautiful things (home decor, clothes, flowers, etc.), but who's attention needs to be won away from cooking, cleaning, errands, bills, etc. When she has a moment, she enjoys watching or reading true stories (biographies, or non-fiction dramas)-- feel-good stories that are inspiring and spiritually uplifting. I imagine this magazine to be something like the magazines geared toward empowering young girls translated in style and context for a woman of 55. It should be fun and beautiful.

The reason I thought of a magazine was because it feels like a leisure activity, and because its incremental/ serial format makes any educational effect unfold gradually and gently. I don't want to make her feel badly about her life, but I do want to encourage her to think about the possibility that there can be more.

My mother has had a challenging life and has gradually forgotten parts of her identity that lie outside of wife and mother. I feel that more confidence in her English language skills and general feeling of awareness of the world around her would help her begin to wonder of her own thoughts and wishes, and think that just maybe she could be a force of her very own in this world.

Other gift ideas that you think I should look into are very welcome. Thank you Mefiers.

Unique Mother's Day gifts

NickDouglas — Tue, 03 May 2005 20:01:14 -0800

With Mother's Day around the corner, I'd like to find something around $30 for mine (I love her but I'm poor). I don't want something uber-specific, but a token of affection about as ornamental as flowers, while being just a touch more unique. Something available online would be ideal, as I will still be away at college on Sunday. Thanks to a recent question (about gifts for a new mother) for prompting me.

What to buy Mum for her 65th birthday?

deborah — Tue, 08 Mar 2005 13:21:42 -0800

My mum will be 65 on March 18. She can just about buy anything her wee little heart desires. I cannot because money is, well, in short supply. What should I get/buy/do for her birthday? I don't want to be too specific about her tastes/interests. I want to get as many answers as possible. Y'all will most likely come up with something that won't occur to me.

I'm in the Greater Vancouver area in British Columbia. Mum is just north of Seattle, Washington.