Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with gift and anniversary

Social customs for anniversary engravings confuse me.

MysticMCJ — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 13:33:53 -0800

I need help with engraving an anniversary gift - Specifically, the text. Is it OK to have a two initial monogram? What about additional text? My wife doesn't have a middle name - Should I pass on the traditional circular monogram -- Would it look odd with only two letters as opposed to three?

Assuming I don't, would it be weird to have additional text beneath that commemorating our anniversary? Should I put the wedding date without the year, or should I include the year? Or should I put some more meaningful text?

I'm very good with gifts in general, and I know she will love specifically what is being engraved (Circular flask with pop-out shot glass built in, she's not a MeFi reader lucky for me) but the fact that this is a rather non-traditional anniversary gift, combined with the fact that it's our first anniversary, combined with my complete lack of knowledge of social customs for this sort of thing has made me very confused. Any help appreciated!

What do I do for our first anniversary?

Anonymous — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 07:53:08 -0800

I have no idea what to do for our first wedding anniversary. There are time and money complications. This is the first relationship (for me) that's even made it to the year mark, so I've never celebrated an anniversary before (we never made a big point of it while we were dating). What's the tradition? Do we give each other gifts?

It's next Monday, so I don't have a lot of time to plan. We both have to work that day. He has a Big Important Meeting and is likely to be stressed out that evening and the one before. I can take the day off if I need to. I'd like to do something on the actual day, although logistically the main event should be on the weekend.

We don't have the money to go to a nice hotel for the weekend so we are staying at my parents' cabin in remote northern Wisconsin. His boss has offered to pay for a nice dinner (short version: he knows I hate his guts and he's trying to get on my good side, plus he's trying to keep an employee). There are no nice restaurants in the remote area we're visiting. I am sure the evenings will involve the obvious romantic activity, but I'm trying to think of other special things I can do for him. Our first year of marriage has been immensely stressful, and I'd like to do something that marks a new beginning. We're changing jobs and locations soon so this is an ideal time.

We're in our 30s, live in the Chicago area, no kids, not much of a budget. I'm a frequent contributor to MeFi and my identity will be pretty obvious to those who know me so feel free to also contact me via other means; I just don't want my husband reading my past questions.

absent anniversary

chronic sublime — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 04:06:52 -0800

Myself: absent during anniversary. Boyfriend: potentially finding gifts around the house. You: help me! I am going away for a short break next week, but it happens to coincide with my 3-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I also missed last years'; I was OS. This distresses me to no end, which is where you come in.

What potential "surprises" can I leave around the apartment for him to discover while I'm gone? They can come in the form of little notes, small gifts, etc, or a more elaborate treasure hunt. He has been very stressed at work lately, and want to potentially cheer him up when he wakes up/gets home. Preference for cheap/free/thoughtful, please!

Potential problems: we live together, and the living space is a cosy two-bedroom apartment. I will have a small window of approx an hour to plant all the goodies before I leave for the airport, but have plenty of time to myself in the week leading up to prepare.

I am a good writer, a not-so-good craftsperson, a mediocre musician, and a consummate purchaser of consumer goods. He is a geek with a wicked outdoors streak.

I can use Facebook or my mobile phone to send messages, if that helps to orchestrate anything.

Go crazy!

Really long distance anniversary gift?

zinge — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 21:33:26 -0800

What is a good, relatively cheap, long-distance anniversary gift to give to someone on the other side of the world? We talk on skype, but I think it'd be nice to actually get her something. My two-year anniversary of when my girlfriend and I started dating is coming up in a few weeks. Unfortunately, I'm in Florida, and she's in Australia at the moment. Background: We're both in college, she's doing a semester abroad in Townsville. I was actually able to go and visit back in February for about a week, so visiting again as a gift is not really feasible. She'll be back in the States in June, but I won't see her again till August, so I'd like to do something nice. For our 1st anniversary I was the one out of the country, but I had internet access and was able to send her some things through the internet (wrote a long letter, had it sent to her as a message in a bottle). I tried finding local gift shops in Townsville through the internet, but haven't had much luck. She's not much of a flower fan, and I've already gotten her a teddy bear. Actually mailing something from here gets expensive, and I toyed with the idea of making a digital mix tape or photo-collage with music and sending her the link, but she only has sporadic internet. Maybe I'm thinking along the wrong lines, but what kinds of things would I be able to find websites for, local to her area, that I could have shipped to her dorm? Also, I have someone (a mutual friend also studying abroad) that said she'd be willing to help out on the Australian end if I plan something. I've read through the other LDR threads, but most of the suggestions don't seem to apply very well to another continent, as opposed to another state. Thanks.

I'd give the shirt off my back for this shirt

Advocate, I — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 19:19:37 -0800

Help me make a special t-shirt I'm looking to make a custom (long sleeved) t-shirt for an upcoming anniversary. The overall design would be handprints and armprints on specific areas of the shirt like; handprints on the shoulder to signify dancing, arms around the midsection to signify a hug, arm on a sleeve to signify walking arm in arm. Some quirky prints may also be included (set of catpaws on the chest, pinch on the right nipple) so it's still a design in progress.

I'd like to find someone in or around the Fresno, Ca area who can help me with this, both conceptualizing and making. If all else fails, someone who specializes in this type of work that can collaborate and do business online.

Much thanks for all the help I can get.

A fifth anniversary gift?

Anonymous — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 23:29:04 -0800

Can you help me figure out a gift for my husband for our fifth wedding anniversary? My husband and I will be celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary in a few weeks, and I'd like to get him a really nice gift. The problem is that he has very few material "wants," and when he does want something he gets it himself. We often give each other "experiences" for birthdays and such, but this time I would like something that can be a keepsake. On top of that, I am truly dismal at gift giving, bad enough that it's a family joke. I want to rise above that label this time. :))

At first, I thought I might get him some jewelry, but after an evening of pointing out things online while asking "would a man *really* wear that?" there's really no jewelry he seems interested in. He wears a wedding ring, and that's it. He already has a nice watch and a nice wallet. He works in a casual office so he has no need for cuff links or tie tacks. He said he thinks that bracelets on men are weird (and whether they are or not, that means he wouldn't wear one.) Necklaces are right out.

Personality wise, he's pretty much a geek -- he enjoys computer games (World of Warcraft, especially) and baseball. He already has a lot of baseball related memorabilia, so I'd like to avoid that this time around. He likes gadgets but gets them for himself if he really wants something. He really, really does not like the steampunk movement.

I know that the traditional gift for the fifth anniversary is wood, but I'm not stuck on that. I've scoured Etsy, Uncommon Goods, and Think Geek with no luck.

Finally, I'm willing to spend up to around $200. I appreciate any suggestions you can give.

(anon because he might run across this and I'd like plausible deniability.)

What to do when you have left someone shortly before an anniversary and birthday....?

Anonymous — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 19:45:55 -0800

Two weeks after my girlfriend treated me to the most thoughtfully-indulgent birthday weekend imaginable, I broke up with her. Just a week has passed since we went our separate ways, but that means two weeks until what would have been our three-year anniversary and three weeks until her birthday, upon which I would otherwise be reciprocating her generosity. Is there anything I can do or say or give to mark the occasion appropriately? We were together almost three years, but in my heart there were obstacles preventing me from seeing her as the person with whom I might spend the rest of my life. As she is twelve years my senior at nearly 42, one of my worries was that the longer I stayed with her, the more I was forcing her to sacrifice aspects of life such as having children that I suspect, deep down, she would like to explore. I refused to co-habit with her and latterly found myself treating her with less than the respect she deserves, while hating myself for doing so.

She spoiled me rotten on my birthday, not just in terms of extravagant generosity but also in terms of lovingly-planned, meaningful gestures. To some degree I think this may have been a catalyst in my decision to end it with her. It was clear to me then that I owed it to her to set her free to find someone who will care for her and commit to her as deeply as she did to me. She railed against me for making an executive decision, but this was my choice. A choice made partly from selfishness and partly from love and a desire to see her have and be everything she wants.

Ending it with her and seeing her in pain was the most gruesome experience of my life. The past seven days have been the longest, most agonising and empty I can remember. I worry about how she is coping, how she is doing at work, whether she is being looked after and whether, like me, she is mentally looking ahead towards our anniversary that was not to be. Staying away from her, and not making contact, has been excruciatingly hard, though I am just about achieving that.

My previous long term relationship ended with me being the dumpee after eight and a half years. That was painful but in retrospect nowhere near as hard to bear as this breakup, of which I am the architect. I guess the mixture of love, loss, guilt and anxiety that I am feeling now is less palatable than the fragrance of fresh possibilities I could sense last time round. It's admittedly only been a week but I haven't been able to think of moving on or being with anyone else, even though two women have thrown themselves at me in the meantime.

Time and space will heal us, I am sure. But in the meantime, how do I address her impending birthday? I would feel it uncaring if a good friend or long term partner failed to acknowledge my birthday at all. And as I sit here amidst the many wonderful gifts she lavished on me so recently, it would seem preposterous not to offer something in return.

Is a simple card the best way to deal with this? A heartfelt letter? Do I approach offering my company, or continue to keep my distance, as she does from me? Do I avoid things I know she would like, because they are things that would be associated with "us"? Do I avoid offering my company and my presence? Will a useful, practical or fun gift entirely lose its charm because of the context in which it is received?

I don't want to intervene in a way that will cause her anguish. And I worry about offering her something that could be interpreted as symbolic, or that will later be looked upon as an icon of pain rather than beauty.

Need to help with anniversary give from dad to mom

slo — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:37:36 -0800

Anniversary gift needed! I need to help my father get something for my mother for their anniversary. In the past, he's gotten her jewelry...but now he can't. He had a stroke last year and is still recovering - he has difficulty with numbers and speech, so he needs assistance shopping.

Their anniversary is in three days.

My mother is difficult to by for - she pretty much buys everything she wants or needs for herself.

What she really needs is more time!

So, if it were me giving them a gift, I'd give something more impersonal than I think she'd like him to give her.

Given his inability to work, he'd rather not be too extravagant. Is there anything somewhat affordable I can find that will take some responsibilities off her plate but would also be appropriate coming from him?

I'm thinking of some pre-prepared meals, or club type gift.

They don't drink and she's perpetually on a diet so booze and chocolate/candy are out.

A gift for Mom and Pop

rinosaur — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 09:48:16 -0800

My parents' 25th wedding anniversary is Tuesday and I'd like to get them something significant but not typical. I'm not opposed to sticking with the "silver anniversary" theme, but I'm not looking for traditionally silver items... frames, clocks, silverware, etc. Mom and Dad are mid-40's Philadelphia suburbanites. Mom loves to garden and dote on her children and dad loves fast cars and good food. They both love Key West and their farm house/vacation home in the PA mountains (something for the house would be great - silver wind chimes is all I could come up with but I'm not sure thats feasible).

Ideally I could pick up the gift locally as there's little time left for internet shipping. My budget is up to about $250 if need be, but in the interest of sparing my undergrad sister from sticker shock, anything around $100 would be great.

Thanks AskMe!

Gift for parents' 30th Year in Canada

krunk — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 06:18:42 -0800

How can I help my parents celebrate their 30th anniversary of emigrating to Canada from Britain? They're having a party at the end of July, coinciding with both of their birthdays and their wedding anniversary. I suspect that none of their old friends from England will be there, due to travel costs.

I have 2 weeks to get something together. Any suggestions on a Canada/UK themed gift?

6th wedding anniversary gift

dougiedd — Wed, 28 May 2008 14:25:51 -0800

My 6th wedding anniversary approaches. Looking for interesting ideas for traditional 6th year gift which i understand is iron. We have a full set of iron cookware already which we love.

Which gift to give when?

chndrcks — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 05:56:54 -0800

Which of these gifts should I buy my wife for her birthday, and which for our anniversary? Alternatively, how can I make one a little more romantic? I have two gift ideas for my wife and two events coming up relatively soon: her birthday and our first wedding anniversary. The two gifts are scrapbooking supplies and one of those necklace chains that are stiff and so hold their shape (anyone have a name for those?). The scrapbooking supplies were my idea, and the necklace was her suggestion.

Lately, I've been thinking about giving her the scrapbooking supplies for our anniversary because it's our paper anniversary, but I'm not sure it's a romantic enough gift for a first anniversary. On the other hand, what made me think of this gift originally is that she's been working on a scrapbook of our wedding/honeymoon recently. If I could make the scrapbooking idea a little more romantic, I'd probably go with that for the anniversary.

So I guess I'm basically looking for are suggestions on which gift to give when, and if you have any suggestions for making a scrapbooking gift into a romantic-enough-for-a-first-anniversary gift, I'd love to hear them.

what can I do for my parents' 25th anniversary?

esolo — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 00:29:05 -0800

my parents have their 25th wedding anniversary this year. What can I do for them that is special yet inexpensive (I'm a graduate student)?

Sixth anniversary gifts

monkeymadness — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 08:35:22 -0800

2-birds-with-one-stone-filter: Where can I find Anise de Flavigny in Denver/What are some inexpensive 6th anniversary gift ideas? Site listed above translated into English here.
Mrs. Madness and I like to do anniversary gifts based on traditional and modern themes. This year it's candy (trad) and iron (modern), or so we've read. She Loves the movie Chocolat so I've ordered her the book along with two of Joanne Harris's other food-related novels. I found out (isn't IMDB trivia awesome?) that the village in which the film takes place has an abbey that makes anise candies, which would be perfect for this year's gift. I'd heard they can sometimes be found at Whole Foods but my local one doesn't carry them. I found them online but would rather buy from a brick and mortar store. I'm limited to $50 total and I'm about $10 down from the books (she doesn't mind used). Anyone have any other ideas? She's not interested in learning to make candy, else I'd get her some gear, (in fact I'm guessing she'll go that route for me this year). She likes sparkly things to wear (don't most wives?) and doesn't care about the cost. Have I mentioned how great she is? There's no need to do anything in iron but I'm open to it. Any help from the hive?

What would make a good "negative anniversary" gift?

The Beezer — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 15:23:35 -0800

I'm getting married in a little over a year and would like to get my intended something for the -1st anniversary, as it were. I'd like something relatively inexpensive that ships easily and would have sentimental value. Has anyone here done this before or seen something that would fill the bill?

Imagine if you spent the rest of your life married to the guy one seat over on your next airplane flight...

MsMolly — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 12:09:12 -0800

My parents met on a flight to Hawaii a little more than 35 years ago. Help me make their next anniversary really special. This question brought to mind something I've been thinking about for quite a while. My parents have one of the best "meet cute" stories I know. My Mom was on her way to grad school for a Master's in Pacific Islands history, my father was headed to Hong Kong for his job as an accountant. They were seated next to each other on PanAm's first commercial flight from Los Angeles to Hawaii. They hit it off, exchanged addresses, wrote to each other for a year, and then finally got to spend a couple of weeks together in person in Hawaii, which ended with a marriage proposal. 35 years, 2 kids, and at least 20 moves later they're still together, and I'd love to give them a special anniversary present.

They're probably going to Hawaii next year for a class reunion for my Mom's Master's program. She's already talked to a few of her classmates/friends who stood up with them at their wedding to try to get them there, but I'd like to make it even bigger. Because my parents got married in Hawaii, no one from either of their Midwestern families was able to be there except for a cousin of my Mom's whose Navy ship happened to be in port.

I know I can just go ahead and invite my aunts and uncles, but trips to Hawaii haven't gotten any cheaper, and I'd love to find a way to get them there that all of them could afford. My first thought was to see if I could get the airline my parents met on to offer some freebies because the story would be such good publicity for them, but PanAm went out of business many years ago, and doesn't seem to have been bought up by any major airline. I could probably talk to someone at her school's alumni program about making some mention of their wedding during the reunion festivites, but beyond that I'm stumped.

What else can y'all think of?

First anniversary gift ideas

Vorteks — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 12:38:20 -0800

What can I get my younger brother and his wife as a first anniversary present? My brother and his wife will be celebrating their first Anniversary on October 6th, and I'd like to give them an anniversary present, but I'm feeling completely uninspired. I didn't get them a wedding gift yet either (in my defense, their wedding was sort of sudden and unheralded) so I'd like this gift to sort of do double duty.

The challenge is that they don't really have any interests to speak of. My brother's somewhat into working out and fitness, and he likes dark superhero-type movies. His wife isn't into much of anything at all. I was thinking it'd be nice to get them a sort of "night out", dinner at a nice restaurant, or a play, or something like that, but no fitting local venues come to mind. I don't think it matters what the traditional gift is.

My brother lives just a little west of Detroit, Michigan. He is 22 years old, and his wife is 20. I've budgeted $200 for their gift, but I'm willing to go higher for a great idea.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

25th Anniversary Gift?

elvissa — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 13:59:53 -0800

My future in-laws are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary this month. What can my fiancee, his 3 siblings and I get them that will make their day? He works for a Catholic College and she is a church organist. They are quite religious, but liberal and enjoy spending time with their family. He travels quite a bit for work, so they prefer to spend time together at home rather than travel together. He is an excellent Italian cook and she is a wonderful baker. They have a home with a large deck and a very nice backyard.

Previous successful gifts have included: a large pasta bowl for family meals; a picture frame filled with family photos; a chimenea; tons of books.

We are an extremely close family and this is a very special occasion and I would love to find them something really special, but we probably should have started looking a month ago.

Help me send a last minute gift to my love in London!

hot soup girl — Tue, 02 May 2006 08:16:55 -0800

I'm looking for an anniversary gift I can order online to be delivered in London tomorrow. It's for my fiancee; he's in London and I'm in Australia (boo!). It's been one frickin' excellent year, and I'd like to send him something to celebrate; only thing is, it's gotta be delivered tomorrow, Wednesday, May 3rd! I thought first of flowers, 'cause he loves them and I've ordered him posies through Interflora before, but if possible, I'd like send something different this time.

A little about him: avid record collector, loves chocolate (is mildly obsessed with Cadbury mini-rolls, so if there's any way of sending him a truckload of those tomorrow, that'd be perfect), and seafood in all its forms. I am contemplating sending wild salmon or caviar or such, but the places I've found online don't have a fast enough turnaround. I realise I've left it far too late, but any suggestions would be enormously helpful!

Gay Anniversary Gifts

benjh — Sat, 22 Oct 2005 09:34:31 -0800

What is appropriate for a same sex first anniversary gift? A couple of days ago, there was a post about anniversary gifts. But what about same sex couples? It is my first anniversary, and I don't know what to get my partner.

Is the traditional paper or modern clocks appropriate, or is there something more appropriate for a same sex couple?

1st Anniversary Gift

tichance — Wed, 19 Oct 2005 16:33:28 -0800

It's my one year wedding anniversary and I’m struggling with what to get my wife. I know the traditional one year anniversary gift is paper, what are some creative interpretations of that?

Paper gifts for 1st wedding anniversary?

DakotaPaul — Tue, 26 Jul 2005 16:29:29 -0800

Those of you who gave the gift of paper for the first anniversary of your wedding: What did you give? Love letters and photographs come to mind, but I'm looking for something more unique/different/memorable. Cash doesn't count. :-) Thanks!

Suggestions for last minute (dating) anniversary gifts

Anonymous — Thu, 04 Nov 2004 09:13:14 -0800

Got any last minute (dating) anniversary gifts? She's not into flowers, jewelry, spas, or much girly stuff, and I don't trust myself to get her clothes.

Portrait suggestions for anniversary

andrew cooke — Tue, 18 May 2004 07:28:29 -0800

Portraits. Desperately trying to think of a suitable present for my parents' Ruby Wedding, we came up with the idea of a family portrait. Photography would probably be safer, but how to find something distinctive (they already have a portrait from about 20 years ago, with us looking uncomfortable in "best" clothes, printed on "canvas", all in a heavy gilt frame, bleagh)? Alternatively, how do you arrange for painted portraits (hopefully in a style everyone likes, and is it horribly expensive)? To make things more complicated, we'll only be visiting for a few days, normally living the other side of the world (they're near Leeds, northern England). Advice? Recommendations?