Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with genderqueer

Transgender resources in SF and the BA?

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 21:36:06 -0800

Transgender resources in San Francisco and the Bay Area? I've hit my wall and I can't take it any more. I need help. I don't have a fetish - well, except for the fact I love clothes like many women. I'm not closeted gay boy who simply wants to be flamboyant. Oh, I wish it were that easy.

I have severe gender dysphoria and it's slowly killing me and poisoning my relationships with just about anyone in my life. I'm envious and jealous of the women in my life and resentful of the men who expect me to meet their standards of emotional and physical masculinity.

Above all I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of trying to live two lives and keeping the best parts of me a secret. I'm tired of lying to myself and the people I love. It's well past time to deal with this.

I'm looking for MTF transgender resources in SF and the Bay Area and I'm scared and feeling alone and a bit lost.

To begin with I need counseling, therapy and someone professional to talk to.

I also need any and all information about HRT and SRS that I can get.

Where do I start? Is The Center (on Market Street) a good place to talk to someone in person? Who do I talk to? What do I say?

What are my options?

First or second hand advice is very appreciated, particularly about how to deal with the pitfalls of Standards of Care and the malformed DSM-IV, how to deal with public intolerance, how to foster and nurture the courage to just be myself and be true to myself despite all of the ignorant bastards in this world.

Emotional and moral support is also appreciated.

Out of thread email replies may be directed to skirtsandmoreskirtsandmore@gmail.com - but please, be brave. Post here if you can. You might help someone else if you post here.

Gender Neutral Term for Aunt/Uncle

gleea — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 21:10:36 -0800

Searching for a gender neutral term for Aunt/Uncle? My partner is going to be an aunt for the first time (woohoo). We've been searching for a gender neutral name for her...without much luck. She would really like something that isn't just a term that someone made up, but rather one with at least a little history/meaning, for example a word that means both aunt and/or uncle in another language or something.

So far we've come up with Zii (Italian) and Oncles (French??)...but she'd like some more ideas...

What the hell am I? Genderqueer, ftm, crazy??

Anonymous — Sun, 12 Mar 2006 17:36:58 -0800

I've been happily (well, to various degrees) living my life as a lesbian (mostly of the soft-butch/butch) variety for many years. I think I might be genderqueer. Now what? I'm in my 30s and I've cultivated a large group of lesbian, dyke and butch/femme friends (and yes, there is a difference). I'm afraid to take the next step. I'm not even sure what the next step would be.

Am I genderqueer, am I in the infancy of an ftm transition? I just don't know.

I have a girlfriend, with whom I plan on discussing this (possibly even tonight), but I'm not even sure where I'm headed. I don't want to lose her, but am 90% sure that I will. Over the last year+ I've become much more promiscuous in general (prior to said girlfriend), but I've also found myself interested in men. Of course it isn't as simple as me thinking I'm straight or bi. When I think about sex with men I'm thinking about it in terms of me with a strap on, etc.

I'm not comfortably talking to my friends about this at this point, because here too, I feel like I'm going to find myself losing people. Traditionally, the lesbians I know and have know have not been particularly welcoming of "other" and I'm fearful that this might carry over.

What are the chances that any MeFites have gone through this or know someone who has? Thoughts? Advice? Thanks!

How to help a transsexual friend

Anonymous — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 22:23:00 -0800

My friend recently came out to me as a transsexual. This doesn't creep me out at all or make me uncomfortable, but maybe a little awkward: how do you try to help and support someone who just realized that she's really a he? While not a long-time friend he is definately one of my closest current associates. We've previously talked about our sexualities and he'd been rather confused about it all but seems to have it sorted out now. He hasn't asked me to help him find information (he's proabbly just as net-capable as I) but I have been brushing up on transsexual.org for my own benefit. There's tips for families and loved ones of transsexuals, but I've yet to find any tips for friends. Any feedback from transsexuals, friends, family, counselors, whatever would be greatly appreciated, doubly so if it pertains specifically to FTMs.
(anonymous to protect the innocent and closeted)