261 posts tagged with gender.
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Please label my gender identity

I need help putting a name to my gender identity. This feels stupid to me, but I seem to be having some difficulty with this, and would appreciate it if the internet would kindly put me out of my misery. [more inside]
posted by langtonsant on Aug 18, 2016 - 39 answers

Introducing feminine touches to mostly masculine casual work clothes

I'm an AMAB person. I'm not cisgendered and would like to gradually alter my work outfit to look more feminine without being too obtrusive about it. Clearly, I'm out of my depth. [more inside]
posted by langtonsant on Aug 10, 2016 - 36 answers

I don't think that means what you think it means...

What is the best way to counteract the phrase and philosophy of "I'm so tired of political correctness" or "political correctness has gone too far"? [more inside]
posted by Dressed to Kill on Aug 8, 2016 - 27 answers

Managing the emotional load of being open about my gender identity

I'm AMAB nonbinary (probably) and working towards being open about my gender identity, both online and in real life. It's going about as well as could reasonably be expected, but I'm exhausted by feeling unable to stop thinking about gender. Advice would be appreciated. [more inside]
posted by the existence of stars below the horizon on Aug 2, 2016 - 9 answers

What's the word for a man not taking responsibility at work?

So I have a colleague who I think is basically a good guy, and a smart guy. We are both doctors, he consulted on a few of my cases and entered his opinion into the medical record and his work was ok but not great and then he mansplained to me... It is now a pattern that I need to address, and to do that I need more vocabulary. Please help! [more inside]
posted by seacats on Jul 3, 2016 - 37 answers

I don’t want to be a woman

How did you “know” you’re trans? [more inside]
posted by a strong female character on Jun 21, 2016 - 41 answers

Solidarity for a different kind of motherhood

I'm looking for websites, forums, groups where I can talk to people about pregnancy, birth and childraising without all the stereotypical societal crap. Realism and respect for ambivalence appreciated. [more inside]
posted by crunchy potato on Jun 15, 2016 - 19 answers

Why are single-occupancy bathrooms segregated by gender?

My workplace is in the process of converting all of the single-occupancy restrooms into gender neutral bathrooms. My questions is, why were they segregated by gender in the first place? [more inside]
posted by Betelgeuse on May 17, 2016 - 38 answers

having trouble parsing new HHS rules for insurance companies

Today the US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) issued a final rule prohibiting denial of coverage based on gender identity. I am trying to figure out exactly what this means in my situation. [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on May 13, 2016 - 13 answers

girls chase boys chase girls

I see on AskMe all the time, whenever someone refers to an adult of the female gender as a "girl," several people will immediately pop up to sternly correct them. I've come to accept this as part of the site culture here, and keep it in mind for my own questions and comments, but it quite honestly seems bizarre based on my own life experience. I'm curious how common this view actually is, and whether people actually stick to it in real life. [more inside]
posted by celtalitha on May 12, 2016 - 110 answers

Are "pretty" and "beautiful" too gendered?

If you're a woman who does not present in a traditionally/stereotypically feminine way, are you uncomfortable being described as "pretty" or "beautiful"? [more inside]
posted by Jamboree Lamb on May 11, 2016 - 38 answers

Breaking down systems of oppression, high school edition

I often have the opportunity to talk about sexism, gender issues, racism and other forms of oppression with groups of high school students while working as an outdoor educator. So cool! I've got a diversity handbook with activities, but they're starting to feel a bit dated. What are the best resources for activities, conversation starters and engaging ways to illustrate big, complicated ideas? [more inside]
posted by ajarbaday on May 11, 2016 - 4 answers

I'm sunk! Help me find a picture from a gender bias study.

There's a famous study of gender bias in which people were shown a picture of a person next to a sink....when the participants were told the person was female, they reported that she was washing dishes. When the participants were told the person was male, they reported that he was repairing the sink. But if it's such a famous study, why can't I find the picture? [more inside]
posted by equipoise on Apr 20, 2016 - 5 answers

Pampers Easy-ups: is there a difference between girls and boys versions?

There are Easy-ups training pants with Thomas the Tank Engine on it, but Pampers says they're for boys and the girls version is Disney Princesses. Is there any difference in the design of these besides colour? [more inside]
posted by Hoopo on Apr 4, 2016 - 11 answers

What's reasonable to expect men to understand about women's experiences?

Specifically if a man identifies as feminist, should he then understand why a woman would take stories of sexism against other women personally? An ongoing source of conflict with a man in my life is that we'll discuss something sexist happening in the world and when I want a moment of commiseration about it like "man, that sucks, what a shitty world, I'm sorry" he won't give it and doesn't understand why I take it personally unless it is something that personally happens to me. [more inside]
posted by pocketfullofrye on Mar 23, 2016 - 50 answers

Memory tips for pronouns

I have a terrible memory and I don't want to misgender anyone! Do you have any memory tips for getting correct gender pronouns faster or more consistently? [more inside]
posted by monkeys with typewriters on Mar 4, 2016 - 12 answers

Three-year-old seems really unhappy

I don’t have much experience with other kids this age, but my son seems… really unhappy? And we don’t know what to do about it, if there’s anything. [more inside]
posted by forza on Feb 26, 2016 - 61 answers

Looking for metrics to compare gender/rape norms across settings

In what ways could I quantify differences in sexism/gender norms/rape culture across US states, cities, and/or universities using publicly-available data? [more inside]
posted by quiet coyote on Feb 21, 2016 - 7 answers

Exceptions to gender equality in marriage

In the Western world today, what differences or disparities (if any) still exist between the genders in terms of legal rights, responsibilities, and protections broadly related to marriage? [more inside]
posted by Gerald Bostock on Feb 18, 2016 - 15 answers

Ok to still be friends with someone you have slept with in the past?

Say you're in a committed monogamous relationship. Your partner has a friend with whom they once had a one-night-stand, which was a singular event at the start of the friendship. This friend is close with your partner, and they discuss personal things like sex, and talk regularly. Is this ok, or not? Snowflakes within. [more inside]
posted by mymbleth on Jan 23, 2016 - 46 answers

Like Paw Patrol, but with more bitches.

My two-year-old daughter is obsessed with Paw Patrol. I'm not in love with the gender representation on the show. What shows are similar but with better diversity in terms of gender? [more inside]
posted by PhoBWanKenobi on Jan 21, 2016 - 36 answers

Great Feminist Discussions/Dissections

I have to give a 45 min lecture in a week, on any subject of my choosing, semi-academic. I'd like to present a feminist discussion/dissection of cultural material (books, movies, songs, even court rulings). I have access to a university catalogue. [more inside]
posted by alona on Jan 6, 2016 - 4 answers

Are we not feminists?

I recently joined the board of my professional school women's organization (in a, for what it's worth, traditionally male dominated profession). Maybe I shouldn't have. [more inside]
posted by telegraph on Dec 13, 2015 - 30 answers

Looking for a (gender-neutral) name!

I am genderqueer/nonbinary and plan to legally change my name to reflect this next summer. I have a first name and middle name which I've cast into gender-neutral forms, and I'm looking for a second, new middle name to add to them. [more inside]
posted by daisyk on Nov 8, 2015 - 31 answers

What will I do with you, pink and blue?

The advice "The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls" can be found quoted many, many places online (all clearly originating from one ur-source), attributed either to the Ladies Home Journal in 1918 or Earnshaw's Infants Department (invariably identified as "a trade publication"). Which was it? Was it, in fact, either? [more inside]
posted by kenko on Oct 27, 2015 - 8 answers

You are NOT Smurfette!

Please help me find female representation in the land of traditional boys' toys. [more inside]
posted by arrmatie on Oct 7, 2015 - 23 answers

What professions started out female-dominated, were taken over by men?

I'm looking for more examples of professions like programming that started out as "women's jobs" but were later taken over by men, when they realized the work had potential to be prestigious. Mothers cooking for their families vs mostly male pro chefs is another one, though probably harder to place historically. I'm sure there are more examples. Do you know any, with sources if possible?
posted by jklaiho on Sep 11, 2015 - 29 answers

When is it legal to discriminate by sex/gender in job postings?

A mailing list I'm in has received a job posting calling for a male journalist. The justification for the gender is that it's a tv channel for financial news, and the reporters will be reading stuff all day, so they want to have a man and a woman alternate reading stories, and they have already hired the woman. [more inside]
posted by kandinski on Sep 9, 2015 - 11 answers

Why do people constantly think I'm a trans woman?

I'm a female, now in my mid-thirties. I'm multi-ethnic and wear glasses. Since my college years people, mostly Caucasian male type people, but sometimes Caucasian females, have trouble perceiving me as female (I was born female and consider myself female). [more inside]
posted by RoisinReason on Sep 4, 2015 - 37 answers

Best college practices re: transgender students

What are the best practices right now, as far as official college policies dealing with transgender students' needs? For example, making it easy to change your name on campus records. Are there any good examples of colleges doing things right? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 2, 2015 - 15 answers

My gender is ....confusing

I identity as genderqueer but as time goes on I think I may actually be a man instead. Can you point me to online support where I can try to sort this stuff out and learn what to do next? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jun 16, 2015 - 11 answers

Trans and/or non-binary vampires?

After this great thread on the Blue about books with non-binary and gender-fluid characters, I'm looking for books that feature non-binary, genderqueer, and/or trans characters -- who are also vampires. I'm aware of three novels with such characters, which I will list in smalltext after the jump. [more inside]
posted by daisyk on May 20, 2015 - 6 answers

Does anyone know how I find more women that box or do mma?

I'm working on writing and shooting a story of a female fighter for a film competition. Unfortunately, all the fighters I know, whether in mma or boxing, are all guys. Obviously, women also go to the gyms around me but not that many compete. And my friends weren't close to any female fighters. They offer some insight but I'd rather talk with a woman who has been in the ring or interested in competing amateur or otherwise, so at the very least I don't create a story that rings false. Any ideas about how to get in touch with women who do competitive boxing/mma? [more inside]
posted by LaceyCoffee on May 11, 2015 - 12 answers

So... how do I trans?

I'm 30 this year, and I've known something's up with my gender identity since... well, since ever. Over the past year or so, I've come to realise through a lot of reading, thinking, talking that I'm male-to-female transgender. My feelings of dysphoria aren't going away, and they're getting worse, but I'm not making any practical progress towards transition because Life Stuff keeps happening and giving me an excuse to put off scary stuff. I need to do something about this, but I'm struggling to find practical resources for transitioning women around my age. [more inside]
posted by winterhill on Mar 9, 2015 - 13 answers

How to support myself while supporting my transitioning spouse?

Looking for emotional guidance while my spouse goes through gender reassignment. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2015 - 10 answers

Recommended reading about gender and language, gender generally

I was reading this comment by KathrynT about men's perceptions of women in groups being equal in number when the no. of women is 17%, women having to comprise over 80% of group members to get equal speaking time with men. I'd really like to know where this came from, about gender and language more widely, gender and misperceptions generally. I'm looking for book recommendations but am also interested in anything else you think is a good resource - blogs, articles etc. [more inside]
posted by everydayanewday on Jan 28, 2015 - 7 answers

Looking for information on gender bias in STEM fields

I hope this doesn't sound like a "do my homework for me" Ask, but I'd like some help with researching gender bias in STEM. As I mentioned in this thread, I've been asked to write an article regarding gender bias in STEM for an internal newsletter at my company. [more inside]
posted by blurker on Jan 28, 2015 - 6 answers

Breast Reduction (New Zealand)

I have been contemplating a breast reduction for some time and have now reached the point where I am certain I want to take actual steps toward doing so. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 27, 2015 - 2 answers

you are gay and genderqueer cause you are broken?

So my best friend (who also is an ex) informed me that she believes I am genderqueer and gay because I am "broken" by childhood abuse and so is everyone who is not straight. That's an offensive statement, right? And if so, how do I even respond? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jan 15, 2015 - 46 answers

Opposite gender siblings sharing a room - how long is too long?

At what age do you think that opposite-gender kids should no longer share a room? We have a daughter and a son. They currently share a room - she is almost 4.5 years old, and he is almost 2 years old. This situation is totally fine now and for the foreseeable future, but at some point, this will become awkward for them. When do you think that happens for most kids? [more inside]
posted by JubileeRubaloo on Jan 10, 2015 - 19 answers

Novels of indeterminate gender?

What are some novels in which the genders of some or all of the central characters is not revealed to the reader? [more inside]
posted by kenko on Jan 9, 2015 - 26 answers

Is there really a point to "gender" verification?

Is there any real, concrete reason for genetically testing female athletes like Castor Semenya? It seems to me to be an exercise in gender policing and humiliation rather than anything else. [more inside]
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper on Dec 22, 2014 - 19 answers

"You know, my last three girlfriends were Asian."

How can somebody on the receiving end of the unfortunate manifestations of Asian fetish ("yellow fever") suck it up and get on with her day/life as best as possible? [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Nov 30, 2014 - 30 answers

Car Maintenance for Womenfolk

I aspire to be a woman who knows how to take care of a car. Where do I begin? [more inside]
posted by Gray Skies on Nov 29, 2014 - 18 answers

Biz lady can't finish a sentence w/o being interrupt--

I am a professional. I am a lady. Every day, in meetings, the same thing happens: the contribution I'm so excited to make to a meeting gets INTERRUPTED by a man or a woman. I am not verbose. I am succinct. I do not speak more than anyone else in the group. Yet I cannot freaking finish a thought without someone interrupting me. It is making me insane. [more inside]
posted by airguitar2 on Nov 5, 2014 - 50 answers

What percentage of trans individuals are gay/queer?

I am interested in learning to what extent individuals who identify as transexual also identify as queer or homosexual. Have there been any good studies of this? I googled but could not find much - please link me to any studies/findings about the issue.
posted by Another Fine Product From The Nonsense Factory on Oct 31, 2014 - 7 answers

What’s a good article on gender equality in Scandinavia?

I’m teaching a thematic unit entitled “Human Rights and International Women’s Lives” in a first-year college English course. To complete the reading list, I’m in search of a well-written article or essay on gender equality in a place where women’s rights are comparatively advanced—probably the Scandinavian countries. Anything on social policy, actual women’s lives, or the intersection of the two would be great. Recommendations? [more inside]
posted by Janey Complainy on Oct 27, 2014 - 3 answers

# = ♀ ?

How and when did referring to a woman as a "number" become a euphemism?
posted by Heatwole on Oct 23, 2014 - 21 answers

Going to university and becoming a talking therapist

I have made the decision that I want to change careers to become a counsellor (talking therapist) and I'd additionally like to specialise my therapy (but not exclusively) in gender and sexual identity issues. What study paths should I follow to turn this ambition into a specific plan? I never went to university after leaving school - so I would like to go back into academic education and get a degree while working towards this career rather than just doing a vocational course. Difficulty level: UK. [more inside]
posted by winterhill on Oct 23, 2014 - 4 answers

Why do men appear to be far more likely to be married than women?

This question isn't about my life situation - I'm just genuinely curious. Why does it seem as if there are almost no never-married straight men past the age of about 35 - but a good number of never-married straight women? Am I misperceiving things? I have of course heard of exceptions to this, but startlingly few. I would just like to clear up my perception and, if I'm onto something, better understand why this phenomenon exists.
posted by Tess on Oct 17, 2014 - 35 answers

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