I'd like to read about the intersection of bodies, disability, race, gender, and class. All writing (and other?) genres welcome. [more inside]
I'm questioning my (female) gender identity. I am looking for online resources, maybe a forum or online community that is specifically ftm or has specific ftm threads/conversations. I've combed reddit but the format of reddit feels less like a conversation and I don't feel comfortable posting there. Links I have found to specific resources are surprisingly mostly out of date or MtF specific. [more inside]
Anti-feminists seem to often use the word "female" in the noun form, in places where people would ordinarily just use "women." (I don't want to spend a lot of time hunting up evidence of this, but here are some examples
. There's also this
.) I'm curious to know how/why this became a thing -- for example, I've wondered if it has something to do with military or police usage, because those are the only places I've previously noticed women being referred to as females. Does anybody know?
I was talking with one of my friends and they brought up that they saw my wearing of miniskirts as inappropriate. I've never considered this, having considered my ability to dress how I want as a part of my liberation from conservative past and binary gendering of clothing. I wear mostly women's clothing simply because they feel comfortable and I have a phenomenal set of dance legs which I enjoy showing off in a myriad of fashions. Am I missing something? Thanks!
I am a transgender individual who has been unable to come up with a name for myself. I have tried numerous names over multiple years and feel completely adrift when it comes to a named identity. What names fit my (pickypicky) criteria? [more inside]
Help me find this video or gif that I can't seem to locate with google. Sometime in the past year I've seen either a video or an animated gif where someone made a hack that put a male character skin on a female video game character. [more inside]
Are there versions of this book teaching kids to run a play/gallery/poetry slam/etc
that are (a) non-gendered (b) geared towards adults? [more inside]
Looking for something in between gowns and suits. [more inside]
In what sports (especially endurance sports) do women perform better than men? And biomechanically speaking, why? [more inside]
I am a young Canadian woman and I have been asked to organize an academic workshop for a group of Saudi Arabian men that are on a month-long summer school exchange at my university (in Canada). Given the gender segregation in Saudi Arabia, I am wondering if there are any specific things I should be concerned about, prepare for, or otherwise watch out for.
Seeking literary fiction with a transient, often solitary, female hero, please! [more inside]
I've noticed that female performers tend to keep the surname they were born with, if they don't come up with a whole new artist name entirely. They hardly ever take their husband's name. Please help me find a decent list of exceptions. I am looking for answers in two categories:
1. Women who started as performers, then changed their last names when they got married.
2. Women who got married and took their husbands' last names, then embarked on successful performance careers.
Bonus points for women from the above cases whose husbands aren't famous themselves.
Important: I am not interested in cases where the actress creates a hyphenation of her maiden name and her husband's name, like Farrah Fawcett-Majors, Jada Pinkett Smith, or Pamela Anderson Lee. Unfortunately those are the only ones I can think of!
I'm looking for examples of pop songs based on male/female vocal harmony, where the man is singing at a higher pitch than the woman. It sounds so fascinating to me. Every once in a while I'll hear an example on the radio, but I'm completely at a loss to recall them. Can you think of any? Bonus for songs where the man isn't employing falsetto to achieve this.
Which other productions have taken on the model of The Vagina Monologues
- first-person stories about gender, sexuality, and womanhood? (I'm interested in those that share the model but have custom material, not necessarily the script of VMon as performed by specific demographics.) [more inside]
We're having our first child and I am terrified that it will be a girl. [more inside]
Biologists and Staticians... what's going on here? There hasn't been a female born in my husband's family in two generations. Help solve the brothers' debate about what's causing this, and what the odds of our pregnancy being male or female is. [more inside]
Can anybody recommend a therapist in Birmingham Uk or in the vicinity that specialises in gender/sexuality issues? [more inside]
I’m looking some age-appropriate media that will show my bright, sensitive 3 year old son (who seems to be more interested in all things femme every day) that his interests are okay. He has lots of female family members and friends who demonstrate to him that there are a million different ways of being a woman or a girl. But neither his dad nor I is feminine in the slightest, and most of the men in his life are uniformly masculine. I’d love it if he could see positive representations of boys and men in books and TV who have a wider variety of gender expressions. [more inside]
Are there adventure stories where a boy feels chafed by his gender roles and must disguise himself as a girl to be able to go on an adventure? like Alanna
. I enjoy gender bending fiction but don't remember any books like this.
My gender identity has been something I've had a lot of thought and confusion about for some time. Now that I'm racing headlong towards 30, I feel like it's got to be time to do something about it rather than just pushing it down again, like I've been doing all my life. I was born male, and I have an overwhelming urge to be feminine, to be a girl. Not a snowflake, but a snowdrift inside. [more inside]
I am interested in what hormonal differences exist between men and women and what effect this has on behavior. I don't have the biology background to be able to handle a textbook. This is a contentious area, so I'm only interested in claims or resources that are well referenced - not unsupported pop-sci or ideological claims. My level of detail would be an extended blog post or article, rather than a book
I am interested in gender stereotypes that used to be reversed or are the other way around in another culture. For example, pink used to be considered a vigorous masculine color and blue was a softer color associated with girls. Similarly, high heel used to be worn by men (as riding boots), but were introduced into women's fashion at a time when women were dressing to emulate men
I've personally found that the vast majority of blogs or discussion groups on gender issues (both feminist and MRA) are either too extreme or too ideological. For example, while I am generally opposed to affirmative action (but might consider it allowable in extreme circumstances), I'd love to debate someone who generally supports it, but who is willing to consider the possibility that they may be wrong. Or it would be nice to read an article about the wage gap where the writer isn't trying to either maximise or minimise it, but actually discover what the gap is and what causes there are
What are some good moderate and non-ideological resources? Try to keep in mind, that what a non-feminist, non-MRA like me considers moderate is obviously going to be different from what a feminist or MRA considers to be moderate
I've been wondering about this for years. I have no concept of what it means to be female, apart from the body parts (which, as I've learned, don't, by themselves, mean a lot). All I can think of is a lot of cultural stuff, which doesn't seem to be universal all over the world, so surely that's just what we've learned?
I get the impression that there is such a thing as a female or male identity, as inborn gender.
If you have one, what does it feel like? How do you know what gender you are? [more inside]
I need recommendations for gendered representations of nature (e.g.: Gaia, Tellus, Terra, Mother Earth/Nature, etc.) in literature, media, art, children's books, or anything else. [more inside]
I had a group playdate yesterday--2 female 5yos (one being my daughter) and 2 male 5yos. All good friends.
My daughter's friend (the girl) was building a house with the legos, while the other three were assembling lego figures. After a while I realized that the two boys would ONLY assemble male figures. Any figure with a flower shirt, or with longer-than-boy-cut hair, they wouldn't even touch it. They were especially on the lookout for any figures that could hold weapons.
This made me thing about the well-known fact that most boys won't play with girls toys or have female heros (e.g. wonder woman / princess merida) while girls are happy to admire batman, superman, and play with guns or other toys that could be considered as being for boys.
The other day, I offered my 3yo son a choice of t-shirts, including a gray shirt with 3 disney princesses on it, which he previously loved to wear. This time, he told me that if he wore that shirt, kids would laugh at him. I have no idea where he got that from. I guess some kid laughed at him at the playground while I wasn't looking, or maybe at preschool.
What can I do? I hate the idea that my son and my daughter's male friends think that girls, and girl things, are not worth their respect or affinity. Any idea for how to change their attitude on this without being obnoxious or didactic?
How do you teach your young children not to internalize the sexism in our culture? [more inside]
I can't find an article (or an informal study) about the gender differences between a group of grad students. The male students were consistently doing better because they went to the professor and asked for more responsibilities (like teaching a class), while the female students thought the professors would come to the female students when the professors thought the female students were ready. [more inside]
How would I know if I was something other than cisgender? [more inside]
I'm about to ask a—perhaps sexist—question about the possible differences in how men and women—broadly speaking—identify with songs in marketing. But first, some set-up.
As a branding exercise, I've been working on tackling a fictitious start-up consisting of two fashion retailer brands. One's a men's brand, and one's a women's brand, both part of the same fictitious umbrella corporation. When fleshing out the details of any brand, I like to immerse myself in the environment of that brand as much as possible, approaching it almost like a method actor approaches a role. Part of this process for me is usually creating a playlist of music I identify as feeling right
for that brand. Songs I can imagine playing in the store itself. I noticed my thought process behind selecting tracks for the menswear and womenswear brands were entirely different, and I'm wondering if there's any underlying truth or data to support my intuitions. [more inside]
The book I'm looking for is one I remember reading in my childhood. It had a boy as a protagonist. It was similar to The Wizard of Oz in that the boy was travelling with friends through a magical realm to free it from some kind of oppressive rule. And when the boy arrived to the happy ending (which I think took place in the royal palace) it was revealed that actually he's not a boy - he's a girl. A princess, to be exact. And a rightful ruler of the realm. Which came as quite a shock to him/her. I must have been less than 10 years old when I read it, which places the book in the 1970s. Did I imagine it or does it really exist? (it is possible that I mixed it up with The Wizard of Oz, although I think I've read it later).
Recommendations for pro-choice literature inspired by this mefi comment
? [more inside]
My friend and I are recording the first episode of our podcast tomorrow. What we need now is a name. [more inside]
I've never worked in any hospitality industry, so I'm just wondering as a casual consumer/observer. How come people are supposed to tip their valets and bellhops at hotels, and they are always only men while there's no rule that you tip the housekeeping, and they are always female? [more inside]
Do men and women really have distinctly different communication styles.
For those of you who are in healthy relationships (romantic love or platonic), is there a wedge in communication that you constantly have to go against your natural instincts and fine-tune in a way that you don't have to with same-sex friends?
Is the stereotype true, do women need to 'talk it out' and men need to 'go to their cave'? Can women really improve the relationship by NOT talking about it and can men really improve the relationship by practicing reflective listening? Is there really a pre-programmed way to communicate based on your gender?
Something in this widely-spread viewpoint really rubs me the wrong way, and I'm not sure if the cultural/societal views(at least in my area) regarding men/women relationships are in fact, entirely valid and its just my own personal issues that need work.
What are your experiences?
Becoming suddenly gender-confused at age 35, this is weird, please help. [more inside]
My older brother (in his 50s) posted something on FB regarding the Steubenville rape case, which was: [more inside]
I've heard that men don't like questions. I'm a woman and would like to have better relationships with the men in my life. Give me some examples of ways to rephrase questions into statements, directives or imperatives. [more inside]
My wonderful 4-year old son wants lots of girly things. I want nothing more than to support him and help him grow into the person he wants to be. My only question is, is there anything that a loving, responsible, progressive parent should do to protect him from hurt, possible bullying etc. [more inside]
. Chris Rock
. Louis C.K.
Some of the funniest male comics are the least funny when it comes to gender -- incisive humor suddenly deteriorates into sexist tropes and gender war cliches. Are there any male stand-up comedians who have interesting routines about women?
Is there a test adults can get to tell them what their sex chromosomes are, e.g. to know if they're an XX despite having male genitalia, or if they're XXY women, or any other non-binary possibility? [more inside]
Looking for recent, substantive, data on the demographics of video game players that does NOT
source back (as so many do) to the ESA. There must be some others out there? Yes? [more inside]
I remember reading months ago (could have been as long as 1-2 years ago) a blog post written by (I think) a man talking about the assumptions people make about gendering dogs. [more inside]
Gender, sexuality, and mental health. Help me design a workshop? [more inside]
Most androgynous clothing styles skew towards the masculine. I'm trying to work out some ways might it be possible to go in the other direction. Specifically, if you have or have wanted to shift towards a more feminine presentation, what kind of clothing do you wish you could find? [more inside]
"Men want sex" and "women want romance" -- so the stereotypes go.
To what extent does the average woman believe (or not believe) in these stereotypes? Does anyone know if there is research on this? I've been searching for hours, but haven't turned up anything yet.
In March I will be starting my PhD (humanities - gender, fan culture and writing) but I have been out of academia for a long time. I finished my Honours in 2002, completed a Masters but since it was coursework (librarian coursework at that) it doesn't really count as far as the rigours or the demands of a PhD goes. I've started trawling Jstor and a couple of other databases I can access through the State library while I ease into it all and I was wondering: what are some of the crucial humanities texts that I've probably forgotten/missed in the past ten years?. The ones that are expected to be referred to in any thesis about gender, writing and identity, or humanities in general. I'm building my reading list/book list but don't have uni library privileges yet so I'm stuck with online/non-academic library access - unless it's something I should buy (aka Strunk and White, Judith Butler etc).
I want to know more about the theory and practice of exclusive spaces for groups perceived as oppressed or subaltern, as in exclusively gay spaces, exclusively racialized spaces, trans only spaces, women only spaces, etc. [more inside]
Which books and articles are the most important for understanding transgender issues?
We're pregnant! But we're on the fence about finding out the baby's sex. Parents: what did you decide? Did you regret your decision or love it? [more inside]