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Um, coming out... again.

For the last 5 years (age 18-23), I've identified myself as a gay man. Came out to my friends and family and was living okay. Now, for the last year, I've basically come to realize I'm not gay. I've lost all attraction to men and I kinda fell for a woman. I haven't talked to anyone about it (including "her"), and am now realizing I need to come out (er, again). Any ideas how to handle it with my friends, family, and "her"? I'd obviously like to minimize the humiliation, anger, hurt, etc.
posted by anonymous on Sep 6, 2006 - 27 answers

What do I do at a nightclub?

There's a dance club in town I want to go to. How do I avoid embarrassing myself? [more inside]
posted by brett on Aug 30, 2006 - 16 answers

Three weeks to conquer a man's heart

[Gayfilter] I have a huge crush on a guy I've dated once, and he's moving abroad in three weeks' time. How can I let him know I desperately want to keep seeing him without coming across as a psycho? [more inside]
posted by doctorpiorno on Aug 30, 2006 - 10 answers

Details on happy, monogamous male gay couples?

Does anyone know of articles or books documenting the lives of happy, monogamous male gay couples and/or statistics on what % of the male gay population resides in relationships of that type? [more inside]
posted by shivohum on Aug 22, 2006 - 8 answers

Resources for starting an online adult film business?

What are some good resources for starting an online gay adult film business? [more inside]
posted by superboy422 on Aug 7, 2006 - 8 answers

Suggestions for gay podcasts and audio porn?

Looking for gay podcasts, specially the erotic kind and audio porn, preferably free. The more explicit (read fetishes) , the better. Any recommendations? Thanks!
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2006 - 2 answers

Is there somewhere nice to propose near Golden Gate Bridge?

Is proposing to my boyfriend in a location from a Hitchcock thriller a good idea? [more inside]
posted by tonylord on Aug 2, 2006 - 25 answers

Can you help us tie the rainbow knot?

Gayfilter: Where can/should my girlfriend and I get married? [more inside]
posted by CwgrlUp on Jul 29, 2006 - 16 answers

Anyone know how to get "Out at home" by Glenn Burke?

Anyone know how to get a copy of the book "Out at home" by Glenn Burke without breaking the bank? I'm suddenly fascinated by this guy, who was an openly gay baseball player who many credit with inventing the high-five. [more inside]
posted by ORthey on Jul 25, 2006 - 13 answers

Gonorrhea -- Now What?

So I think I went out and got myself a case of gonorrhea. (Just what I always wanted!) What are my treatment options for getting this taken care of ASAP? I understand that it can generally be handled with a course of antibiotics... but how can I best go about getting them? I don't have a regular doctor right now -- I've just made an appointment with a new doctor for the end of the month, but I'd prefer to get on top of this before then (since leaving it unattended for more than two weeks seems like a bad idea). I'm a gay guy in NYC, so advice specific to that milieu would be superb, but in the name of creating a valuable reference thread I'd be interested to see information aimed at less specific contexts as well. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2006 - 15 answers

Moving to Marry in Massachusetts

Are there any documented cases of gay men or lesbians moving to Massachusetts to take advantage of our marriage laws? Has anyone written profiles of people or couples who have done this?
posted by alms on Jul 11, 2006 - 10 answers

Finding gay

I'm in NY for the summer, in my 20s, a graduate student, and gay. I want to hang out with chill, smart, nice, gay people my age in the NY area. Ideas? [more inside]
posted by shivohum on Jun 29, 2006 - 10 answers

Go home or come out?

Gay athlete needs life advice--should I keep training at the elite level or move on and get a "real life"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 25, 2006 - 18 answers

What happened to my libido?

I'm a recently out, gay 21 year-old college student. I recently met someone and things are starting to get serious. Last night he came over and I couldn't get aroused. I've never had a problem with that before. What's going on? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 23, 2006 - 14 answers

What else should I say Everyone is gay

I need a list of gay rock/pop and jazz musicians and naturally thought of the obliging folks here at AskMe. So...any ideas? [more inside]
posted by ashbury on Jun 20, 2006 - 69 answers

GaySubcultureFilter: Why do bears say "woof?"

GaySubcultureFilter: Why do bears say "woof?" [more inside]
posted by fugitivefromchaingang on Jun 1, 2006 - 19 answers

Help me get out of this closet before the house burns down!

I've never dated a girl before. Where do I start? Oh, and I am one, too... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 31, 2006 - 24 answers

Woman acts like she is the only pregnant woman in the world. Film at 11.

Help me document (on film) my pre-conception, conception and pregnancy process. [more inside]
posted by arcticwoman on May 19, 2006 - 15 answers

Help with a difficult graduation question

fundamentalists; My nephew is graduating from High School this month. He has been given a scholarship to an extremely fundamental christian college, similar to a Liberty or Bob Jones.....I have been invited to; [more inside]
posted by jamie939 on May 19, 2006 - 49 answers

Between a rock and a hard place.

How do I get my (abusive?) boyfriend out of my life? [more inside]
posted by kzin602 on Apr 20, 2006 - 25 answers

Finding the best gay bar in the Twin Cities

Best gay bar in the Twin Cities metro area, Minnesota? [more inside]
posted by kavasa on Apr 17, 2006 - 7 answers

Gay Lost Boys?

Is the character of Sam (Corey Haim) in the movie The Lost Boys supposed to be gay? [more inside]
posted by jca on Feb 14, 2006 - 46 answers

How to introduce myself unawkwardly?

DelicateSituationFilter: Help me introduce myself and get to date #1. [more inside]
posted by awesomebrad on Feb 12, 2006 - 11 answers

What does a man give his boyfriend for Valentine's Day?

Homofilter: What does a man get his boyfriend for Valentine's Day? [more inside]
posted by Mozai on Feb 6, 2006 - 16 answers

How to help a transsexual friend

My friend recently came out to me as a transsexual. This doesn't creep me out at all or make me uncomfortable, but maybe a little awkward: how do you try to help and support someone who just realized that she's really a he? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2006 - 20 answers

They aren't really from Mars, are they?

FormerLesbianFilter: Can you give me any insight about men and/or the way men think and function? [more inside]
posted by hyperfascinated on Jan 22, 2006 - 56 answers

Is there a better place out there to live for me?

I have been thinking about the best places to live for a gay woman, in a committed relationship whose partner has a 4-year old son. [more inside]
posted by workinprogress on Jan 9, 2006 - 71 answers

How can I find out how gays are treated overseas?

Are there organizations that report on the human rights of gays and lesbians around the world? [more inside]
posted by Amizu on Jan 6, 2006 - 6 answers

Finding Gay People to Date

I'm an still-in-the-closet (but perhaps soon to be out) gay man in his early 20s. What are the best ways to meet good-hearted, intelligent, and personable gay men in Boston (or generally), people who are interested in relationships and not just quick hookups?
posted by anonymous on Dec 8, 2005 - 17 answers

Don't ask, don't tell, please

I believe my dad is gay (but still in the closet); I'm curious about how other families/children handle this situation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 6, 2005 - 20 answers

SpermFilter: Any reason not to give away my seed?

SpermFilter: Any reason not to give away my seed? [more inside]
posted by dhammala on Nov 20, 2005 - 19 answers

Is it a choice?

Having long rolled my eyes at the debate over whether homosexuality is a choice, can I get an explanation of this argument from someone? [more inside]
posted by Holygrail2 on Nov 12, 2005 - 42 answers

same sex parenting report

A few months back, there was a bunch of hoopla over a report which several right-wing pundits kept referencing. It stated that data showed same-sex couples were less fit to raise children than hetero couples. I remember it being widely discredited as a bit of fluff put out by some fundy think tank, and I think that John Stewart had some fun with it. Can anyone give me any information on this report or any credible studies which refute it? Thanks.
posted by es_de_bah on Nov 6, 2005 - 3 answers

Gay Anniversary Gifts

What is appropriate for a same sex first anniversary gift? [more inside]
posted by benjh on Oct 22, 2005 - 12 answers

Appropriate response to unwanted gay advances.

What is a respectful, succinct response to being hit on by someone who prefers your gender, when you "don't swing that way?" [more inside]
posted by AllesKlar on Oct 16, 2005 - 31 answers

Help me cure lesbian bed-death!

Help me cure lesbian bed-death. Lesbians and non-lesbians alike are welcome to reply. It's a not-so-funny joke in the gay community that a few months into a serious relationship. lesbians stop having sex. My partner and I have been together for six years now, and, although we talk about sex (especially how much we miss it!) we don't have sex. Maybe once a month, possibly less often than that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 11, 2005 - 13 answers

how can I stop someone from using the word "gay" in a derogatory way?

How can I politely ask someone to stop using the word "gay" in a derogatory way? I wish I would have objected to it from the first time that I heard this individual say it, but the person is my new roommate in a new town and I didn't want to anger him/her. Plus the first few times s/he said it, we were around other people in public and I didn't want to scold him/her at the time. S/he says "gay" to mean "stupid" all the time and it offends me. How can I bring it up now, a few weeks into our being roommates, in a way that won't be upsetting to our relationship? If this helps, I have a gay sibling and many gay friends and could use that as part of the explanation. Normally I call people out on this right away but this is a much more complicated relationship, as we have to live together and get along for a year. I don't think that s/he knows that it is offensive, although s/he is nearly 30 years old.
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2005 - 63 answers

Why do a majority of gay men speak in a camp voice?

Why do a majority of gay men speak in a camp voice? Is this put on or does it just happen?
posted by spooksie on Sep 23, 2005 - 29 answers

...hey sailor

What is the origin of the stereotype of the lisping homosexual? [more inside]
posted by cadastral on Sep 14, 2005 - 24 answers

Should I talk to the media about a high school Gay Straight Alliance club?

I'm the faculty advisor for a Gay-Straight Alliance club that has just started at the local high school. Some members of the community are very upset about it. The newspaper has contacted me and wants to do a story on the club and the reaction. Should I talk to the newspaper? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 10, 2005 - 19 answers

gender neutrality

Suppose you are talking to someone (an acquaintance, a workmate, a person at a party) who you are pretty sure is gay. This person is talking about someone s/he is dating and is being completely gender neutral. What is the appropriate response? Do you maintain gender neutrality with your questions and comments (which can get awkward and feel silly)? Do you make a comment that includes the phrase "he or she" to indicate that you're aware that it may be either and that you're nonjudgmental (but potentially putting this person on the spot to pick a gender and out him/herself)? Do you pick the likely gender and continue the conversation blithely the way most people do in assumed-heterosexual conversations (again with the potential outing)? For the purposes of this exercise, assume no one else is in earshot.
posted by xo on Apr 25, 2005 - 51 answers

How did you come out?

How did you come out to your parents / friends / family?
posted by anonymous on Apr 21, 2005 - 34 answers

Anal Prevention?

Are gay men less likely than hetero men to contract prostate cancer? [more inside]
posted by hellbient on Apr 17, 2005 - 12 answers

Gay divorcee?

I am a gay man who recently broke up with my partner of 15 years. I am about to head off to my 20 year high school reunion. I haven't seen any of my classmates since graduation. How should I refer to myself? Divorced? Separated? [more inside]
posted by Futurehouse on Mar 31, 2005 - 21 answers

Gay New York

I am an English lady coming to New York in April with a gaggle of commited homosexualist men and one other female. The aforesaid dedicated homosexualists will undoubtedly want to explore the gay bars of New York, and probably the seedier the better. Can anyone advise me on which gay bars are women-friendly and which should probably be left to the boys? Which ones are the most fun? We will be in the vicinity of the West Village.
posted by Summer on Mar 1, 2005 - 6 answers

Gay twin studies?

Patty's coming out on tonight's episode of The Simpsons made me wonder how often it happens that one sibling in a pair of identical twins is gay and the other straight. Does anyone know of any twin studies about homosexuality?
posted by painquale on Feb 20, 2005 - 21 answers

Percentage of blind since birth persons who are homosexual?

Interested in percentage of blind since birth persons who are homosexual. [mi] [more inside]
posted by billysumday on Feb 16, 2005 - 7 answers

name an art house movie about two gay HIV positive blokes

YetAnotherHalf-RememberedMovieFilter. So I saw this film, probably in 1992. It was an American, art-house dealie, with two gay HIV positive blokes, who meet, hook up, and drive across the US. [You'll never guess where I put the more] [more inside]
posted by pompomtom on Dec 30, 2004 - 12 answers

How can I find a boyfriend in the gay community while still being myself?

I'm a gay male in my early thirties nearing my sixth year of singlehood, and long since ready to be with someone. However, I've had the hardest time trying to relate to the the gay community. I'm a bit eccentric and will often go to the gay club to write and probably get too wordy with personal ads. It seems that emotional and spiritual depth, along with a lack of care about materialism, just doesn't jibe with the "gay mainstream." My question is this: how can I continue my joyously weird existance, and attract the right person, without diminishing my personality and belief system? What sacrifices must I make with my 'kookiness' and still be me? Thanks!
posted by anonymous on Dec 29, 2004 - 30 answers

Tell me how you met your gay partner

Gay men in relationships: how did you meet your significant others?
posted by adrober on Dec 11, 2004 - 14 answers

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