I'm considering a great job offer in another state, and what it might mean for my two-year relationship. Help me develop a framework for making some decisions about all this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 19, 2009 - 15 answers

My 14-yo son has recently come out to me as gay. Should I share anything about the "experimental" phase of my youth? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 7, 2009 - 74 answers

I feel like my life is over and I'm only 35. I feel completely stagnant and stuck, relationshipwise and jobwise. Do I need to change things or do I need to learn how to deal? Help me figure out how to be a happier person. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 28, 2009 - 34 answers

LoveFilter: Interested in your stories of finding lifelong love at age 35 or older, gay or straight. I'm a 35-year-old gay man and want to know what my chances are. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 30, 2009 - 35 answers

I'm straight, but I've been seeing this girl. She's beautiful and a socialite and I've been feeling conflicted about being seen in public together. More inside... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 13, 2009 - 32 answers

I'm about to be involuntarily outed as a bisexual at work. What should I expect? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 27, 2009 - 25 answers

How do I stop resenting my brother's wife, stop mentally competing with her for the love and approval of my parents, and stop worrying about falling to the margins of my family? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 23, 2009 - 15 answers

In the gay leather subculture, what do those black leather bands around a bicep mean (if anything)? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 2, 2009 - 10 answers

I'm in a long-term relationship and I hardly have any friends. How do I get some? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2008 - 15 answers

Is vaseline okay for gay sex? (NSFW and probably gross for most people) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 5, 2008 - 15 answers

My son may be gay. I don't think he even knows yet. He is 15 this month-entering high school. He is ADHD, funny, cute, great with kids, thoughtful, and very loud and effeminate. He's jumped into the theater/choir crowd at school (Big group- I LOVE these kids and their families!). My question is- Can or should a mom get involved with the bullying that goes on? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 3, 2008 - 41 answers

I'm a female with this recurring fantasy about two men (my biggest fantasy since I was 15). How do I go about fulfilling it? Wait, there's a catch or two. [NSFW] [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2008 - 13 answers

I fell in love with my best friend, who is a guy. I’m a young bisexual guy. Apparently, he is not. Did the “wrong thing” and told him about how I felt, and was rejected, but things seemed okay afterward. However, I’m still hurting, I’m feeling delusional about it, and sometimes I think that he inadvertently isn’t helping… how do I live with my best friend now? Help me, Metafilter! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 7, 2008 - 25 answers

Just out of the closet. Little bit socially clueless. Teach me how to behave at a gay bar. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 22, 2008 - 9 answers

Scholarly journal article on gay bathhouses - can't find an article I read a few years back. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 11, 2008 - 12 answers

Sexyfilter: Lesbian role-play ideas, bonus points for kinky. Yes, really. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 27, 2008 - 12 answers

How will the recent California Supreme Court ruling affect my resident status? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 18, 2008 - 14 answers

After a long time in a lesbian relationship, I'm coming to the realization that I think I'm straight. I don't want to leave my wife (I really love her), but I can't stop thinking about men. Please help me figure this out. Sexually explicit details inside. NSFW [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 21, 2008 - 23 answers

What can I expect in a Younger/Older relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2008 - 13 answers

GayDramaFilter. How can I make sure that people don't confuse my basic interest in them with flirting? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2008 - 19 answers

I'm gay, and I'm afraid that I only like straight guys. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 8, 2007 - 24 answers

I believe my friend is gay and in denial. I'm openly gay. How can I keep his cognitive dissonance from causing him to drop me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 6, 2007 - 42 answers

Next week apparently marks National Coming Out Week. Is now the time I've looked forward to for so long? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 7, 2007 - 36 answers

I'm gay, new at dating, and kind of overweight (though not morbidly so -- say ~ 20/22% body fat), though my face doesn't show it. I'm afraid dates will like me, in part based on that deceptive face, then discover my fatness during a moment of intimacy, and be repulsed. Am I being paranoid?
posted by anonymous on Aug 24, 2007 - 21 answers

I think my son's about to tell me he's gay. I want to say the best thing possible. What is that? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2007 - 53 answers

It is a good thing where I work that I identify as gay. Very good. Recently however, I have fallen (madly) for a hetero... This would be somewhat of an issue of at my gay workplace and I'd like some good ole MeFi advice (MI) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 13, 2007 - 32 answers

I am confused about my sexuality. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2007 - 25 answers

In the gay male community, how hard is it to date someone pretty handsome/cute (though not necessarily physically "ripped") if one is, say, 20-25 lbs overweight (so overweight, NOT "obese") and in his mid to late 20s? How far can intelligence and personality take you? Is it easier to have a relationship on these bases than a one-night stand? Are things relatively hopeless without losing weight?
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2007 - 19 answers

I'm a gay male. Although it's several years out still, I've been thinking a lot about parenthood. So much, much [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2007 - 11 answers

How do I find a gay financial planner who is in (or accessible to) Manhattan (NYC), has inheritance, tax, and foreign country experience, and speaks Spanish? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 2, 2007 - 6 answers

My 20 year old son came out to my wife and I this morning. I want to support him and understand his lifestyle and decisions better. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 23, 2006 - 38 answers

I've been single for 4 years. Why? What do I do now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2006 - 13 answers

For the last 5 years (age 18-23), I've identified myself as a gay man. Came out to my friends and family and was living okay. Now, for the last year, I've basically come to realize I'm not gay. I've lost all attraction to men and I kinda fell for a woman. I haven't talked to anyone about it (including "her"), and am now realizing I need to come out (er, again). Any ideas how to handle it with my friends, family, and "her"? I'd obviously like to minimize the humiliation, anger, hurt, etc.
posted by anonymous on Sep 6, 2006 - 27 answers

Looking for gay podcasts, specially the erotic kind and audio porn, preferably free. The more explicit (read fetishes) , the better. Any recommendations? Thanks!
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2006 - 2 answers

So I think I went out and got myself a case of gonorrhea. (Just what I always wanted!) What are my treatment options for getting this taken care of ASAP? I understand that it can generally be handled with a course of antibiotics... but how can I best go about getting them? I don't have a regular doctor right now -- I've just made an appointment with a new doctor for the end of the month, but I'd prefer to get on top of this before then (since leaving it unattended for more than two weeks seems like a bad idea). I'm a gay guy in NYC, so advice specific to that milieu would be superb, but in the name of creating a valuable reference thread I'd be interested to see information aimed at less specific contexts as well. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2006 - 15 answers

Gay athlete needs life advice--should I keep training at the elite level or move on and get a "real life"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 25, 2006 - 18 answers

I'm a recently out, gay 21 year-old college student. I recently met someone and things are starting to get serious. Last night he came over and I couldn't get aroused. I've never had a problem with that before. What's going on? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 23, 2006 - 14 answers

I've never dated a girl before. Where do I start? Oh, and I am one, too... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 31, 2006 - 24 answers

My friend recently came out to me as a transsexual. This doesn't creep me out at all or make me uncomfortable, but maybe a little awkward: how do you try to help and support someone who just realized that she's really a he? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 4, 2006 - 20 answers

I'm an still-in-the-closet (but perhaps soon to be out) gay man in his early 20s. What are the best ways to meet good-hearted, intelligent, and personable gay men in Boston (or generally), people who are interested in relationships and not just quick hookups?
posted by anonymous on Dec 8, 2005 - 17 answers

I believe my dad is gay (but still in the closet); I'm curious about how other families/children handle this situation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 6, 2005 - 20 answers

Help me cure lesbian bed-death. Lesbians and non-lesbians alike are welcome to reply. It's a not-so-funny joke in the gay community that a few months into a serious relationship. lesbians stop having sex. My partner and I have been together for six years now, and, although we talk about sex (especially how much we miss it!) we don't have sex. Maybe once a month, possibly less often than that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 11, 2005 - 13 answers

How can I politely ask someone to stop using the word "gay" in a derogatory way? I wish I would have objected to it from the first time that I heard this individual say it, but the person is my new roommate in a new town and I didn't want to anger him/her. Plus the first few times s/he said it, we were around other people in public and I didn't want to scold him/her at the time. S/he says "gay" to mean "stupid" all the time and it offends me. How can I bring it up now, a few weeks into our being roommates, in a way that won't be upsetting to our relationship? If this helps, I have a gay sibling and many gay friends and could use that as part of the explanation. Normally I call people out on this right away but this is a much more complicated relationship, as we have to live together and get along for a year. I don't think that s/he knows that it is offensive, although s/he is nearly 30 years old.
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2005 - 63 answers

I'm the faculty advisor for a Gay-Straight Alliance club that has just started at the local high school. Some members of the community are very upset about it. The newspaper has contacted me and wants to do a story on the club and the reaction. Should I talk to the newspaper? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 10, 2005 - 19 answers

How did you come out to your parents / friends / family?
posted by anonymous on Apr 21, 2005 - 34 answers

I'm a gay male in my early thirties nearing my sixth year of singlehood, and long since ready to be with someone. However, I've had the hardest time trying to relate to the the gay community. I'm a bit eccentric and will often go to the gay club to write and probably get too wordy with personal ads. It seems that emotional and spiritual depth, along with a lack of care about materialism, just doesn't jibe with the "gay mainstream." My question is this: how can I continue my joyously weird existance, and attract the right person, without diminishing my personality and belief system? What sacrifices must I make with my 'kookiness' and still be me? Thanks!
posted by anonymous on Dec 29, 2004 - 30 answers

Are there any queer mefites with military experience?

I'm thinking of enlisting in the U.S. army after I graduate from university this spring. As in, I really want to do this, depending on MOS restrictions my red/green colorblindness impose on me. One of the things I have to consider, though, is my penchant for sleeping with members of my own gender. I think I "pass" pretty well, but I'm curious if there's anyone out there with experience spending time in the military closet, or alternatively, you have associated with a soldier whom you knew was in the closet. If you have general military advice, feel free to lay it on me, but I have probably seen most of it one place or another. As in, some might be tempted to tell me to get a commission if I've got a bachelor's, something that doesn't interest me.

Thanks for your help!
posted by anonymous on Nov 16, 2004 - 13 answers

There've been lots of threads about internet dating, but my question is: the internet hook-up. It's something I've been considering recently (I ended a long-term relationship a few months ago and don't think I'd be able to sustain another one right now), but I'm completely inexperienced with it and would like to hear some "testimonials," as it were, before deciding one way or another (and no, I don't mean in a Dear Penthouse way). I'm a young gay guy in NYC who's been considering Craigslist, if that helps to focus your response, but I'd like to hear from people across the spectrum... what are the best and worst scenarios you know of or have been involved in? (And yeah, I know the basic safety tips -- somebody else should know where you're going, etc.) Does it generally work out, or is it more trouble than it's worth?
posted by anonymous on Nov 9, 2004 - 10 answers